


Follow You Into The Dark

by nyxsomnium



Category: EXO (Band), K-pop
Genre: Angel & Demon Interactions, Angst, Fantasy, Gen, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-17
Updated: 2016-07-20
Packaged: 2018-05-21 07:05:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 21
Words: 237,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6042589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nyxsomnium/pseuds/nyxsomnium
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After witnessing their parents' brutal murder, brothers Kim Jongdae and Kim Jongin were forced to flee their home and forge an entirely new method of living to ensure their survival. Since the tender ages of 7 and 9, they’ve had to survive by their own means, living in a constant fear of an unidentified enemy that Jongdae code named, Them.</p><p>Jongdae had begun to believe that perhaps as horrible as the event that night was, it was just a per chance instance.  But the day when that belief is challenged, Jongdae has no choice but to accept that the relations run a lot deeper than he originally envisioned. </p><p>That there is something connecting his family with Them. That there’s a personal vendetta somewhere along the lines. Jongdae knows this now, but he also knows they’ve messed with the wrong person this time around, and even if it kills him, he swears the outcome this time will be different.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. All Good Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4pBo-GL9SRg

Fourteen days since the storm -- which had resulted in the destruction of their carefully designed camp -- had passed. And in such, had them scrambling to find refuge further into the forest--a place that became narrower and drearier the deeper one delved. Three days had passed since a forest fire had engulfed what happened to be the only legitimate evergreen tree left in all of the forest acres. The fire had woken them with a start, before proceeding to set their temporary camp alight in hues of raging, angry embers.  
  
Forest fires weren’t a common occurrence by any means, but that wasn’t to say that they never occurred at all. The brothers had recently had the misfortune of encountering one after a long period of smooth-sailing, in terms of camp conditions. An unusual string of occurrences had taken place lately, to say the least.

However unfortunate recent events were, they weren't detrimental. As intricate and homely as that particular camp had become, what was lost could've easily been recovered. They'd been trained to live simply, to make sure the full extent of their resources weren't stashed away in one confined area, and if so, that duplicates could easily be made. To always be prepared for the worst. To know how to survive the worst.

Life was similar.

The brothers had been forced to adapt to conditions that village-dwellers could only envision in their worst nightmares, simply to ensure their survival. They had to develop keen instincts to keep precise placement of their surroundings, gauge the weather patterns and study the wildlife surrounding, plan their days down the second, all whilst keeping as incognito as physically possible, out of view from the public.

It'd been that way since they were young.

Which is why they'd made it out unscathed -- something they'd begun to excel at, with all the practice they'd acquired over the years. When the fire attacked, they had rolled to their right, dodging the vastly approaching flames as they tumbled down the grassy banks, mere inches from the crystalline stream they'd been relying upon since taking refuge in the forest, before proceeding to move to another acre, make camp there.

They were miles away from any form of civilization. Miles away from that close-knit village they had, too, inhibited at one point in time. The village they could never return to.

At least not legally.

Compared to said village, the forest was nothing short of decrepit. Even more so with the damage that still lingered from the fire. Moss covered barks coveted what was once profound evergreen, ivy growing in the place of vibrant flowers. Now damp and sullen, it seemed as though day fall came late – making what should've been the most relaxing part of their day burdensome. It was then only worsened when they were forced to wake up in what appeared to be the dead of night. Shrouded in thick mists and heavy clouds of smoke… sunrise had seemed to be a foreign concept for some time.

In terms of quality, the camp that had been tarnished by the storm, had been miles above anywhere else they'd perched as inhabitants of the forest. Drier conditions, spacier, they even had a clear view of the sun from the gaps between the trees. An added bonus was the shade from the sole evergreen tree in the days when heat was unbearable; how close the crystalline stream happened to be. It was as heavenly as heavenly got, given their circumstances.

But still a far stretch of what life had once been like.

For this close-knit village miles south happened to be the best they'd ever experienced. A village where people rode horses as a means of quicker transportation, where hand washing their clothes was the most efficient means of cleaning. Drying the clothes wasn't always as simple, most would hang them out on a thin threaded line -- but knew that the sun's rays weren't always guaranteed, no matter how much they may have been in need.  
  
A village where shepherds would herd their sheep and cattle for months at a time before brutally maiming and killing them to produce meat to sell to fellow locals, as a means to make themselves a living.

To say they possessed happy memories of the village however, would be a lie. To say they could even recall intricate memories of the village, would’ve also been, too, if it wasn’t for that one memory that was ingrained deeply into both of their mechanisms. The sole reason they couldn't return.

"Yah, Kim Jongin!" The shorter of the two, though older in face. With jet-black hair, dark eyes, the elder brother had a prominent facial structure -- he accentuated tall cheekbones and a razor sharp jawline. He was standing on the tips of his toes, his arms flailing around in a series of haphazard movements in a desperate attempt to grab the object in the taller male's hands.

Evidence of blood relation lay in their similar facial structures, and though still sharp, the younger's jawline wasn't the focal point of his features, unlike his brother. The focus seemed to push more onto his plush lips, which seemed to be perpetually tinted red -- naturally, even when relaxed still looked as though they were pursed, along with deep, soulful eyes. He didn't say anything in return, only smirked.

Which was answer enough for the elder male. Jongdae sent his younger brother Jongin a glare. Height was one area they never stopped bickering about, one area Jongin could gloat about to his heart's content, knowing Jongdae would never catch up.

Then as Jongdae clawed his hand forward, Jongin brunched back a few steps, avoiding the jagged edges of the nearby moss branch and in turn caught the bottom of his trouser leg on a stone. He heard the unmistakable tear as he pushed his leg forward, and quickly shook the stone off, knowing otherwise, if he didn’t fix his position and prop himself up to full height, he would tumble straight towards the ground. He let out a small huff. “For someone so little, you've got quite some fight in you.”

“Yah," Jongdae hissed. "Height means nothing, give it back!”

“If it means nothing then I’m pretty sure you’d already have it by now… which only proves the point that you’re bluffing.” Then as he leaned down and waved the circular object in Jongdae’s face one more time before swiping it back up, he tilted his head back and laughed heartily. It was deep sounding. Mellow. Lilting. Relaxed, just how Jongin appeared to be in that moment. “You always were a sore loser, hyung."

Jongdae’s eyes flashed. “Jongin…”

“What was it you used to say to me?” Jongin placed a finger on his lip in faux-concentration and as he took three steps backwards, really only doing all of this as he was intending to throw Jongdae off guard. Of the brothers, it was always Jongdae who did the majority of the speaking. He knew, in essence, that Jongdae probably would’ve picked up on his methods of distraction at some point, but until then, he had to ensure that he wouldn’t be the one to lose their little game. And that required distraction methods, so he could plan ahead. To get ahead. “…Poison comes in small bottles. Right?”

Jongdae wasn’t deterred, and instead took a step towards Jongin’s direction. “Jongin—”

“No wait.” Jongin chuckled, but it was evident that there was a nervous undertone beneath it all. Jongdae was supposed to take the bait, to get transfixed on one of Jongin’s previous statements and be ready to bicker--the elder had always been quick to anger. He was supposed to allow himself to subconsciously be distracted. Making sure to keep his outward composure, Jongin turned to face his elder brother, trying again. “Less is more?” Now at the bark of a coveted tree, a thought struck into his mind at the arrival. Subtly running his finger down the dampened moss, he came to the conclusion that it really would make a good blanket in the upcoming winter months, seeing as they were scarce in that sense.

Jongdae took another step forward. “Jongin—”

Jongin had hooked his arm around a think branch to his right. Perhaps it was finally working? “That they don’t make diamonds the size of bricks?”

“Jong—”

“Ah!” Taken aback by the sudden exclamation, Jongdae stilled, and that was the instance that Jongin realized he’d gotten him. Jongin took this time to sneakily place the ball into a deepened crevice in the tree, aware that Jongdae hadn’t picked up on it. “That one you were always fond of.” He couldn’t resist the urge to tease Jongdae now; feeling confident of his already-sealed victory. Jongin was freely showing off his very empty hands yet knew the older boy still hadn’t taken note. “It’s not the size of the boat that matters but the motion of the ocean.” Jongin chuckled. “Seemed to be a favorite of yours. I wonder why."

Jongdae puffed out his cheeks, crossing his arms over his chest. “Do you even know what that means, you brat?”

Jongin resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “It’s a bit difficult to not pick up on the implications, is it not?” He then grinned down easily at the elder. “Now go wash the clothes.” With that, he unhooked his arm from the tree branch, turned on his heel and hopped towards the new camp, content in the knowledge that for the next thirty or so minutes he was completely free and could do whatever he pleased. Like rest. Or contemplate the meaning of life in general. They didn't have much time for rest, this was something Jongin knew too well. He knew they could never truly be at ease. That they'd always be looking over their shoulders, waiting for threat. Preparing for threat.

Such was life for them.

Jongdae wore a bewildered expression. “But you didn’t… what?"

“No?” Jongin held up two empty hands. “Now unless you’re willing to spend three hours searching for a ball which was 'expertly' hidden—I’d suggest you get started on the clothes.”

Jongdae’s blood boiled, cursing himself for not picking up on what Jongin had been doing the entire time. The teasing lilt, the haughty smirk, the exaggeration. Not only that, but Jongin was gloating just now. His younger brother played this game too well. Every time.

He narrowed his eyes at the younger in response.

“Oh and hyung?”

“Yes, Jongin?” Through gritted teeth.

“Try using _all_ of your senses next time.”

“What do you mean this time—”  
  
Jongin indicated towards the piled bear feces Jongdae had just stepped on, just about the same time Jongdae smelled the stench.

“Mother fu--"

The same lilting laughter from before rung in Jongdae’s ears and before he had chance to turn and flip his younger brother off, noticed he’d already disappeared.  
“Screw you!” He’d opted for instead. He wasn’t sure if Jongin had even heard him.

Sighing, he began to trudge back to the camp to collect the clothes he knew he’d be spending all evening washing. Cursing whoever it was that decided they’d have "camp duties” taken on by the loser of the duels and games implemented and not split the workload between each other consistently, on a day to day basis.

Which in retrospect, realized he was the one who made it so.

So essentially, was cursing himself.


	2. Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JECTUQVrvzE

“Shh!” Jongdae kicked his brother in the shin. He made sure it was gentle, definitely not enough to leave a bruise—just enough to grab the younger's attention and quieten him down.  
  
Jongin glanced at his brother in bewilderment. "I didn't say anything."

"Your feet shuffled!"

Jongin sighed, but nodded.

Throwing the frayed cloth bag—brown and tattered from years of use and destitute living conditions—a few spare coins fell out and landed on the dried soil. Jongin cast a less-than-expectant glance at the ground before letting out a short sigh. “We don’t have enough,” he said. "And besides, even in the instance we did, how are we going to disguise ourselves as... village dwellers?"

“You need to steal it then.” Jongdae didn’t bat an eyelid. "And we're not, I just like getting your hopes up to crush them a mere second later. Hunting by hand is the way of the future."

Jongin rolled his eyes at his brother's previous statement. “Regardless, wouldn’t it be more logical for me to stand guard whilst you steal it?”

“And why’s that?”

“Well you’re smaller and sprint faster than I do. I’m physically stronger and can run longer distances than you, hyung.”

“Then again, if you’re stronger… wouldn’t that be more effective when picking the chicken up and…” Jongdae paused and for a split second a wince formed on his features. “Ending its life?”

“Then if a Guard comes...? And he’s taller than you, stronger than you, as well as faster than you? I have more chance of tackling him down and making sure you escape with the chicken before I knock him unconscious.”

“But I’m more precise.”  
  
Jongin sent his older brother an intrigued glance, urging him to continue. Almost threateningly so.

And so he did. “Maybe not with all things, but with this I am, okay? If you hit someone the wrong way, or apply too much pressure – even if it’s only point-one percent more than you should – you will kill them.”

A ghost of a smile inched its way onto Jongin’s features. “So what, hyung?—they’re the ones Yixing says are to blame for this mess! If we kill them—”

“—I know you think it’s alright, Jongin.” Jongdae ran his hand over his face, wiping a splotch of dried mud off his eyebrow. “That they’re better off dead. But the thing is if we kill one of the village Guards, the Palace will be notified immediately. Once the Palace knows there’s – us – on the road then there’s no chance we’ll get out of it alive.”

“But if you think about it, it’ll take time before they even realize that a Guard is dead and much longer before they decide to go searching for the suspects! If we make a run for it—”

“It’s not that simple. Now duck down and sneak over to the back of the Farmer’s yard. Don’t make a sound.”

Jongin stay in place, unmoving.

Jongdae's eye twitched. "Yah."

Jongin's arms were firmly placed across his chest, contemplative expression on his features. "I don't think I should be the one to go." He tapped his foot against the soil. "Seriously."

"Jongin, we've been through this already--"

Jongin scoffed, turning to face the elder directly. "Have we, though? Really?"

Jongdae nodded.

"I don't believe we have," Jongin continued. "It's literally just you deciding that you're going to be the one on guard every time we come here. And then pretending that you're more precise or whatever as your reasoning. Something we both know isn't true. We've had the exact same training. We know the exact same things, we apply the exact same principles. And in all honesty, your methods are more reckless than mine, so..."

"Jongin, that's not." He sighed. "That's not what it's about, though, okay?"

"And then this. You always bring this up. But never elaborate on it. It's frustrating." Jongin paused. "I get that there's some underlying meaning to this somewhere, Jongdae. I just don't understand why you won't tell me what that is."

"It makes all the sense in the world if you think about it, Jongin."

"But it really doesn't." Jongin let out an exasperated sigh. "And then you never tell me your reasoning behind it, either. So I sit here debating in my head what you're trying to get at not knowing if I'm on the right page or miles off. Why won't you just tell me, Jongdae? Clear it up once and for all?"  
  
"Hyung," Jongdae corrected, instantly. Not even appearing to have to think about it, it just being a subconscious happening. "The reasoning really is obvious if you think about it, actually."

"Then how come I've been thinking about it since we started stealing from farms in pairs and I'm still at square one?"  
  
Jongdae chuckled, but didn't elaborate. There was a serene smile on his features as he glanced out at the farm. It wasn't directed at the animals, not in the slightest, but at their conversation. It really was the most simplistic of answers, at least to him, which was why it was amusing to see the younger have to think so hard about it. Jongin could decipher the most complex of meanings and reasons--they both could, having had it ingrained so deeply into them--but then something as simple as this threw him off? It was humorous, really. "Because you're trying to make it deeper than it is and that's where it is you're going wrong."  
  
Jongin peered at him curiously. But then the younger asked a question that made the smile instantly dissipate.  
  
Jongin's expression was hard to read. "Is it because you don't trust me?"  
  
Jongdae blanched. "What?"  
  
"When it's just us two catching our dinner, and only you get to stand guard, is the reason because you don't trust me? You don't believe I can get the job done?"  
  
"Jongin, what--"  
  
"That's the only solid conclusion I've arrived at, hyung." He used this time to glance elsewhere. "Otherwise, I'm completely stumped."  
  
Jongdae found his eyes narrowing beyond his control, something sour twisting within his stomach. "Yah," he hissed, making the younger glance up in surprise. "Jongin, what the hell?"  
  
"Well..."  
  
"No," Jongdae instantly cut off, eyes still narrowed. "Don't even finish that sentence. Don't you dare."  
  
Jongin laughed humorously. "Why not?"  
  
"Because if you even, for one second, doubt how much I care about you..." He took a deep breath, willing himself to calm down. "You don't even know what I'll do, Jongin."  
  
"It's not about not caring about me, Jongdae." He paused, realizing his mistake. "--hyung. It's about having faith in my abilities. Trusting that we're both at the capability to interchange roles. That just like you, I can guard, too."  
  
Jongdae scoffed. "Why do you even want to guard, Jongin?"  
  
"I'd just feel safer if I was the one standing guard, is all."  
  
"Safer how?" There was an amused smile playing on Jongdae's features. "Are you implying that I can't get the job done, that you don't trust me? Aish."

Jongin shook his head. "Of course not. It just makes the most sense."  
  
"How?"  
  
"Now _this,"_ Jongin said, nodding. "We have been through before."  
  
Nothing about Jongdae's demeanor as he perched against the fence closest to him, disagreed with Jongin's statement. If anything it only urged the younger to continue.  
  
"Your methods are more reckless than mine, more effective in the moment. Your acts are faster. I highly value the importance of precision, sometimes you jump straight in. I'm not saying it's a bad thing--you're a great fighter, I'm just not the type of person who'd ever be able to do that, so to say you're more precise--even in some aspects--is incorrect. Like I said before, you're better at sprinting, which will be needed to catch the chickens. You're also shorter, so less noticeable through the farmer's window. I'm taller, so they're likely to notice me far easier. Ducking down will also effect the quality of the hunt, so generally that's out of the question. I could go on, but..."  
  
Jongdae let out a seemingly bored sigh. "No one is saying your reasoning is wrong, Jongin. I'm not even claiming that you're wrong, really. It's just... you can't be the one to guard."  
  
Jongin exhaled a frustrated sounding sigh. "And why the hell not?"  
  
Jongdae mimicked his previous smile, lip quirking upwards in the calmest, most serene manner.  
  
Which did nothing to lessen Jongin's frustration. "If it's about the thing I said before with the Guard, then..." He puffed out a breath, collecting his thoughts. "I'm sure you're aware that I'm not foolish enough to _actually_ kill a village Guard in broad daylight, Jongdae. None of us would be. Ever. We know the implications, we know the consequences. There's really only you that's easily provoked in certain aspects and even then I have enough faith in you to know you'd never actually go through with it. So if that's what you're worried about, don't be."  
  
"Yixing's pretty easily provoked too, though," Jongdae countered, pursing his lips slightly. "And of course I don't actually believe you'd go through with it. But you should keep in mind that sometimes it is really difficult to pin point when you're joking or not, Jongin. You have this way of, like, not changing your tone of voice or facial expression on some occasions. It's unnerving. You didn't learn it from me, or Yixing." He had a theory Jongin had developed a certain sense of apathy as a coping method, in relation to the events they'd witnessed in their younger years. It didn't always show,  not with all their bickering, but when truly taken aback by something -- or upset -- that had happened, Jongin would withdraw, rather than seek confrontation.

The apathy showed sometimes. Sometimes he'd bring up a morbid topic with barely any reaction, sometimes go as far as to joke about something that in actual analysis was a very day to day average happening for most,  but seemed hilariously out of place for them. Morbidly so. It'd leave Jongdae feeling something of a remorse, though he knew he had no control over the events that took place that night. But as much as a front the younger put up, it was a reminder that Jongin hadn't experienced childhood in a way that average village children had. That their reality was something Jongin found implausible, impossible. 

Preposterous. 

And that couldn't be undone.   
  
Jongin shrugged. "Perhaps I didn't learn it from anyone."  
  
Jongdae nodded, somehow seeming a little unconvinced. It was a defence mechanism, he was sure of it. It hadn't always been there.   
  
"So if it's not either of those, Jongdae, what is it?"  
  
"I'm just... surprised that it's taking you so long to figure out, Jonginnie. The answer is right there. Right in front of you. Always has been, always will be."  
  
"Are we deciding to talk in riddles now, or?"

"You could go catch the chicken if you'd like," Jongdae said, chuckling. "And we could always eat dinner."

Jongin stay silent, eyes beginning to narrow. "You've always been better at catching the chickens, Jongdae. Ever since the beginning. Even when we knew next to nothing about the practical aspects. Is forcing me to do it every time your method in making sure I get better at it, that I excel?"

Jongdae shrugged. "You could choose to look at it that way if you wanted, but primarily, no. I may be better at catching the chickens, but like you said your methods are more precise and in turn, less messy."

The last statement to leave Jongdae's lips was almost an epiphany to Jongin. "So that's what it is? The blood?"

"Can't deny it's a factor, but then again, blood is a factor that ties into everything for us. The thought of going out of our way to avoid it will always be in the back of our minds, it's undeniable. However, no, it's not my main reasoning in this aspect. Especially when you're concerned. You should know I'd never willingly force you to be in a position where you'd be faced with blood, especially as your older brother." The serene smile was back. "Now go."

"No," Jongin said, staying put. "By putting me in this position, I _am_ faced with blood. But at a lesser amount, what with how precise I go about my methods, right? So in such, what you're doing by claiming that you're more precise is bait. It's bait to make me question it, it's bait to better myself. To take even more precautious actions and make my methods even more precise than what I've begun with. Not only that, it's training me to get used to the blood, at least in some form, subconsciously. And in such, killing two birds with one stone." Jongin nodded. "That's clever, hyung."

Jongdae chuckled. "Maybe so, but what would you say if I said that whilst it's a nice theory, it's still not my main reasoning?"

"I wouldn't believe you."

Jongdae tsked. "Honestly Jongin, it's the most simplistic reasoning in the entire world. You're thinking too hard about it. Analyzing it too deeply. If you still can't get it now, then I won't even bother telling you. Now go along and catch us a chicken or two before it gets dark."

Jongin's eyes narrowed. "All of this and I still have to be the one to go through with it?"

Jongdae grinned easily. "Of course. Now get going."

“And the Guards, who’s going to fight them off if they pounce on us?”

“Medusa,” Jongdae deadpanned. “Who do you think genius?”

"Two at once, though?" Tapping his fingers. "Potentially even more?"

"If it's more than two I can just get you to help me."

"But then we'll lose the chicken and in such would've risked all that just to go hungry another night. Which is redundant."

"And none of that has ever happened thus far, so we'll get to that bridge when we cross it, okay?"

"But when it does," Jongin said. "I hope you realize I was right all this time."

"Sure, sure," Jongdae muttered. "Now go catch me a chicken or two, I'm hungry."

Jongin clucked his tongue. Trudging off towards the chickens, something already telling him this wasn't going to end as planned.

On their way back to the forest, a cloudy mist had honed in and shrouded their surroundings. The sky had steadily darkened, the wind progressively got harsher.  
Jongin’s shoulders were slumped as he trailed behind his hyung. “Well that was useless,” he eventually said. He looked up towards Jongdae, expecting his older brother’s eyes to be trained on him as they usually were — in case of attack or threat — and instead found him staring straight ahead, eyes void of emotion.

Jongdae let out a brief chuckle and didn’t elaborate further. Which as Jongin noted was completely unlike him.

“Hyung?”

Jongdae sighed. After a moment, he turned to face Jongin directly. “What is it, Jongin?”

“...Are you mad at me?”

“Possibly.”

Jongin stopped walking. His eyebrows furrowed together and he let out a breath to calm himself down. “You were the one who assigned me to catch the chickens! I already told you—”

“Look–no,” Jongdae cut Jongin off. “We’re not going to fight about this.” Jongdae let out a defeated sigh. “The reason why you did it I’m still unsure. Whether it was to spite me or not, we’re now empty handed and foodless and we will be for the rest of the night.”

Jongin chewed on his lip. “I, uh…” He avoided eye contact, suddenly finding the palm of his hand to be the most interesting thing in the world. “I didn’t do it to spite you, hyung.”

When he finally looked up and met the eyes of his older brother, who had raised one eyebrow to urge the younger to continue, Jongin knew he hadn’t been given a choice in the matter.

“The chicken, even before I killed it.” Jongin shivered. “It had caught its leg on a wire, and it was... it was bleeding.”

A look of understanding passed through his older brother’s eyes. “Then I’m not going to blame you. I would’ve done the exact same thing.”

Jongin’s smile didn’t reach his eyes. “I know, hyung,” he said. “I know.”

Night had come a lot sooner than they’d been anticipating. With no food – neither to cook nor find – they had gone hungry, and it was evidently taking its toll. Tension was strong in the atmosphere. Since they had arrived back, they hadn’t spoken a word to each other. Jongin was finding it uncomfortable to his utmost surprise, usually preferring silence to incessant chatter. He soon realized it was because Jongdae always had something to say, and wasn't a quiet person by nature, so for the elder to purposely be quiet... he must have had a reason. A reason Jongin wanted to delve into. To discuss.

He had no idea of how to breach the topic, however.

After all, his brother had always been the one to start the conversations, his brother had always been the one to carry the conversations, and his brother had always been the one that was good with putting the words across, the one who always knew what to say regardless of situation or circumstance. The one who was quick on his toes, able to formulate a sentence without having to think it through and assess it to the nth degree prior to saying it. Witty.

Whatever Jongdae wanted to add on, he could do so as he was speaking. Jongin needed to know exactly where his words would begin and exactly where they'd finish, before speaking them aloud.

It was eerily quiet. There was a shiver inducing breeze that would show up every half hour or so. As much as he had tried, Jongin couldn’t sleep. He tossed and turned for hours on end, finding the moss blankets incredibly irritating. Usually he was able to put up with it, but this time, he was sure he’d felt movement in both the blanket and on his skin, and of all things insect bites weren’t something he was fond of.

“Hyung?” He finally asked, breaking the five-hour – or more – silence. He had deliberated over the words he would say, planned them all out. He had just hoped that it was a good enough starting point.

A few minutes of silence passed. Jongin let out a discouraged sigh before turning on his side and adjusting the insect infiltrated moss blanket around his body.

Another minute of silence passed. Then, just as Jongin thought about trying again, he heard shuffling from the older boy’s blanket.

“What is it, Jongin?” Jongdae’s voice wasn’t icy, but it was a lot less welcoming than usual. Which was unnerving, to say the least.

Jongin shuffled so that he was in a sitting position, but then hesitated as he realized how different Jongdae’s tone of voice had been to his usual. He wasn’t used to that. “I… uhh… can we… start a uh, fire?”

Jongdae’s eyebrows furrowed together. He realized Jongin was unable to see him in the dark and instead let the confusion lace his tone of voice. “And why would on earth we do that?”  
  
Jongin forced out a chuckle. His mind was screaming at him to just ask his brother if they could talk things out, but his mouth wouldn’t seem to comply. “It’s cold?” He said instead, sighing after. They were immune to such circumstances by this point, his brother would instantly see through this. He sighed.  
  
He'd failed in catching the chicken, and regardless of whether the younger had predicted that outcome or not--he had--Jongdae appeared to be offended by the results, now giving him the silent treatment. Even though Jongin told him straight up minutes before the ordeal took place, that the outcome Jongdae had planned wasn't going to come through to fruition.

Plus, he still had no confirmation of what made it so that Jongdae could be the only one to stand guard, which was still bothering him.

“The heat emitting from your blanket should be like thermal, Jongin.”

“I know.” Jongin forced another chuckle. “And it is. I just… it’s got… well, insects inside of it, and I can kind of feel them crawling and writhing through it.” He shuddered. “I think one is on my leg right now.”

Jongdae shrugged carelessly. “Things like that haven’t bothered you before. Why complain now?”

Jongin’s eyebrows furrowed together in confusion, noting that the elder's usual playful tone was sharp. Irritated. “Well that was because they weren’t inside the blanket before and I knew what they were and—”

Jongdae let out a drawn sigh. “Jongin?”

“Yes?”

“Please go to sleep.” It was curt. To the point.

Jongin raised an eyebrow, well aware the elder couldn't see it. He clucked his tongue, wondering if it was even worth going through with his--failing--apology, if Jongdae was just going to act like this about it. He didn't want any bad blood lingering by any means, but what was the point of attempting if the elder was only going to shoot down every try?

It seemed he didn't even need to voice another sentence for Jongdae to continue speaking. “Are you seriously saying that you want us to give up our position here and light a fire in the dead of night when there’s predatory animals out there that will be attracted to the flame, on top of being capable of inducing worse damage to you with a scratch than insects in their millions could? Seriously?”

He’d got him. Jongin usually wouldn’t suggest anything so absurd, and never ever suggest any idea he hadn’t thought through entirely. Jongdae knew this. Jongin knew that Jongdae knew that Jongin had ulterior motives. Ulterior motives he wasn't entirely sure how to word at the current moment, as of that. Jongin suppressed his sigh. “I—”

“What was the cause of us leaving our last patch of the forest?”

“It was a fire,” Jongin muttered. “A forest fire.”

Jongdae nodded his head. “Do you see where this is going?”

“Of course. But then again,” Jongin finally began, feeling more confident in what he was saying. But his main purpose of starting this conversation was still flickering in the back of his mind. “It wasn't caused by us… and if we’re in control of the fire we can make sure—”

“Jongin?”

“Yes?”

“We’re not lighting a fire.”

“But—”

“No."

"Fine," The younger grunted. His entire plan was falling through before it even had chance of fruition. His brother was going to shoot him down regardless, so maybe it was better off if he just shut up and let things brew. Let Jongdae continue to be angry at him for hours and days, possibly even weeks to come. Which was only going to impact their teamwork--something Jongin was fully aware they couldn't risk. But if Jongdae wanted to play that game, so be it. Jongin didn't like looking like an idiot--something stumbling over his words made him feel like--and he wasn't going to grovel simply for being right about something.

He, however, still couldn't fall asleep. “This blanket is seriously so irritating,” Jongin muttered, after some silence had passed. He mainly intended it for himself. He wasn’t looking for attention, nor to be taken note of, so was surprised with his brother’s next move.

Jongdae gritted his teeth. He closed his eyes and exhaled sharply. He was trying very hard to be patient and understanding with the younger, but found that every little thing Jongin had been saying --or doing-- since the morning had rubbed him the wrong way. “Then suck it up.” Had it been any other day, Jongdae would’ve comforted his younger brother, coaxed him into thinking that everything was going to be alright, so long as he’d be there. He should’ve been surprised with the way Jongin was acting in general, as the younger wasn’t usually this open about discomfort, and would mostly always try get a hold of himself and get passed it without making too much of a fuss. The younger also never got to the point where he spoke more words in a sentence than Jongdae himself. He however, had realized he wasn't being very much like himself, either.

He contemplated if he was being too harsh on the younger. Maybe it was a genuine mistake? Maybe it wasn't premeditated. Accidents did happen, after all. His brother wasn't exempt every time, right? Especially when blood was concerned. Neither of them were, in that case.

“Jongda—”

However the minute his name uttered from the younger's lips, void of honorific, Jongdae’s head snapped towards Jongin. “Don’t call me that.”

Jongin was expecting that. He couldn't suppress his eye roll.

“And don't roll your eyes at me either. I’m your hyung. It’s disrespectful.”

Jongin rolled his eyes once again. “It’s not like it matters out here in the forest, really. There’s no rules or regulations stating that I have to refer to you as hyung, is there?”

“Well whether we’re citizens of the village or not, it still applies. It’s still what we grew up with, and it’s not going to disappear any time soon. Besides, it’s out of respect. Not a law. Yixing helped raise us, you know? He's done a lot for us. I get that age hierarchies are a little... useless where we are right now, but he insisted we use them. His parents used them on him, and you know how much that matters to him. Plus our parents liked us to use honorifics also and it's what we would've been raised into had they still been here, okay?"

Jongin lowered his head, feeling something like guilt bubble within him. “I know—hyung I—"

“You know what?” Jongdae huffed, feeling a little guilty himself because as much as the last few sentences he'd spoken were true, they really didn't apply right now, and Jongdae truly just enjoyed the power trip he received from being referred to as hyung. Liked letting Jongin know he was, in fact, the elder brother. He knew Jongin wouldn't argue with it because Jongin was aware that Jongdae talked to Yixing without Jongin around at times. That Yixing had these peculiar habits sometimes and liked to honor their culture, as he knew a lot about different cultures, liked to explore said cultures. Culture was something both brothers had missed quite a bit of, a side of themselves they may never truly get to connect with. So maybe it wasn't all nonsense, Jongdae's justifications, but he still felt a little guilty. “Just be quiet. I’m trying to sleep.”

“Okay.” Jongin sighed softly. And when he was sure Jongdae was asleep, he muttered a quiet: “I’m sorry.” Though it still felt awkward and tangled in his mouth and he knew it was potentially hopeless, as Jongdae probably wouldn’t even hear it, he somehow felt a lot more confident in saying it and was relieved at the chance of finally getting out the two words he’d been trying all day to say… "It wasn't on purpose, or out of spite or whatever. I don't want us to go hungry as much as you don't, hyung."

Another hour passed. Jongin found that he still couldn’t doze off to sleep. It had only just begun to get light; he decided trying to fall asleep was hurriedly getting pointless.  
“If the blanket is bothering you that much, take it off.”

Jongin almost jumped out of his skin, surprised, he whipped his head towards Jongdae—whose lips had quirked upwards. Slightly.

“Why are you still awake, anyway?”

Jongin shuffled up. “Well the blanket and honestly I was just… thinking.” He brunched the blanket up and threw it to the side. He groaned at the dozen or so insect bites that littered the lower half of his leg. Red and blotchy, he knew he was going to need to apply something to soothe it. Thankfully, they had those kinds of supplies within close reach.

“About?”

Jongin smiled a little knowingly. Perhaps Jongdae had heard his apology after all… “Well moss-made blankets aren’t exactly the nicest of things to fall asleep in, are they? We've been relying on them for god knows how long, and they're not the best, I guess.”

Jongdae nodded his head, intrigued. “What is it you’re trying to say, Jongin?”

“I was thinking.” Jongin twiddled with his thumbs. “Maybe we should skin a cow?—To use as a blanket of course.”

Jongdae shook his head. “Jongin, we can’t. We’d have to sneak into a farm and kill a cow ourselves. It’s risky business now that they have Nightwatchers.”

Jongin nodded. “Which was exactly what I remembered. So maybe not a cow, perhaps a goat? Goats have fur—or hair—and well… they’re edible too. So it’s like killing two birds with one stone, no?”

“It’s a great idea but… a goat? Where are we going to find one of those?”

Jongin’s lips pulled up into a small smirk. “Exactly. So then I thought, why does it have to be us? Maybe… maybe we could get Yixing to help?”

Jongdae contemplated the thought for a minute. “Maybe,” he finally said, nodding his head in agreement. “Maybe you’re right.”

Some minutes passed. There was a lot of shuffling to be heard on Jongdae's side of camp. Jongin was as still as ever. "You're still thinking about it, aren't you?"

Jongin let out a drawn out sigh. "Yes," he muttered, glumly. "And I will be until I get a confirmed answer."

"It really is the simplest thing, Jongin." Jongdae chuckled to himself. "Should also be the first thing to come to mind. Maybe I should be offended that your first reasoning was that I didn't trust you, hm."

Jongin narrowed his eyes, resisting the urge to cuss under his breath. "It's not intentional," he muttered. "I don't mean that you--"

"No, no," Jongdae said, nodding. Serene demeanor back. "I get it. I just don't understand why it's taking you so long to pick up on it, is all."

"Can't you just tell me?"

Jongdae's eyes twinkled. "Where's the fun in that?"

"In the fact that I'll be able to catch the chickens next time and we won't have to go hungry, for one." Jongin kept his gaze focused on the ground, sighing. "Otherwise regardless of how hard I try and focus on the task at hand, my mind will keep reverting back to this unanswered question that's apparently really simple and by no means the holy grail, but..." He ran his hands over his face in frustration. 

"I don't think I say this enough, Jonginnie." Jongdae's eyes shined, finding his brothers' antics nothing short of adorable. "But you say the cutest things sometimes. And of all people in the world, I'm really glad it's you that's here beside me."

Jongin stay quiet, surprised at the turn the conversation was taking. A minor quirk of an eyebrow appeared on the younger Kim's face. Was he planning something? Was this all so the elder could take his revenge for the other day? Jongdae was the sorest of losers. Jongin almost sighed. "Look, if there's--"

"And that, of all the people in the world, I'm glad it's _you_ who is my brother."

"You're kind of scaring me now," Jongin muttered. "Where's all this coming from, hyung? What's the hidden motive?"

"I think at the root of it all, you're aware. Your mind just can't seem to comprehend why my reasoning would be this simplistic, I guess."

Jongin contemplated this, still seeming to not be following along entirely. If he got set on the train of thought that there wasn't _actually_ a hidden motive, that would give Jongdae a lot more leverage to go forth with the hidden motive.

"You know that you're my brother, Jongin. Of course. However, are you aware that I'd place your safety above everyone else's?"

Jongin opened his mouth to reply, before quickly closing it again.

"Even if it's my own?"

"I--"

"I understand your irritation and confusion at the fact that it's always me that guards when we hunt. I understand that logically, you believe you would be the better bet. I know I'm better at killing the chickens, quicker too. As much as it may seem I'm just copping out because chickens bleed, or whatever, can you tell me one thing chickens aren't, Jongin?"

Jongin blinked. "Um," he trailed off.

"Human." Jongdae kept his gaze steady. "Chickens aren't human. Chickens can't plot in the same way a human can, chickens can't sneak up behind a person and go undetected with murderous intentions. Chickens can't gang up together with the same murderous intentions. Chickens can't put up all that great of a fight. And honestly, as far-fetched as it may sound--as impossible or improbable as it may be--in that situation, I'd rather me than you in the firing line."

"You mean..."

"Rather than it being about me not trusting you, it's about me protecting you. Or trying to."  
  
Jongin blinked in apparent astonishment. "So this whole time, it's been about..."  
  
Jongdae nodded. "In all honesty, even by logical reasoning, you're still the better option for such a situation. I'd trust you to be able to continue life without me, regardless of how long it took for you to get to that stage. At some point, you'd find the ability to go on. Me, on the other hand? I don't trust me to continue life without you. Not at all. Take that how you will."

"Hyung..."

"I'm your older brother." Softer tone disappearing all of a sudden. "Think wisely about your next action, Jongin. I'm your older brother and whether you like it or not I'll always believe it's my duty to protect you. So if you don't want to wake up dead when I drown you in the river for disagreeing with this particular sentiment, I'd advise you to close your mouth and accept that this is the way it is. That this is the way it'll always be. Capisce?"

Jongin closed his mouth, nodding.

 

  
The sun had graced the forest with its presence earlier that morning.

That had become a relatively rare occurrence as of late. What had been darkened clouds just yesterday had transformed into an effortlessly clear blanket of blue, the occasional stroke of white here and there.

Unfortunately for them, the sun had decided to retreat behind said stroke of white a half hour prior. In what would have been a readily expected but slightly melancholic experience for them usually had all been made up for by the radiance that lay behind the younger, Jongin’s, smile.

“Now if you crouch down like this.” Jongdae demonstrated, before stretching his right leg out and holding it in a straightened position. “There’s two methods to this one. The first where you place your straightened leg out and push it – whilst it’s completely straight – against their chest.” He mimed the movement, as he had no one within reaching distance to demonstrate on. He wanted Jongin to watch a couple of times before trying, so his younger brother was also out of the question.

“Once you have this down they should be cursing and struggling to set themselves free, but failing miserably. That’s when you wiggle your other leg free and you aim where it hurts. If they bend down, aim for their throat. If that still doesn’t deter them, or it’s not long lasting… you kick them straight in the face. Preferably aim for their teeth, nose, or jaw. Or anywhere, just so long as it stuns them for those desperate moments and you’re able to set yourself free and escape.”

Jongdae jumped up onto his feet. He turned to face his younger brother directly. “Are you hearing all of this? We’re going to try both methods once I’ve finished explaining, alright?”

Jongin sent his older brother an affirmative salute. “Sure thing, hyung.”

“Okay.” Jongdae nodded. “The second method is to use your lower half to your advantage. To trick your enemy and use the time you buy to escape. Start by using your legs and feet, to push away from them and get out of their hold. You can use your arms to push yourself up and spring up onto your feet and make a run for it before they have time to blink… it’s the quickest option we’ve got. But if you’re in a more urgent situation and you need more time, you use your legs to trip them up… you have to make sure they’re out cold before you get the hell out of there, though. You understand?”

Jongin nodded his head. “So… are we going to try now?”

“Of course. Come here.”

“Hyung, I—” Jongin trailed off, cringing. He knew the importance of demonstrating and of practising, but practising on each other wasn't what he intended to do. It could cause complications and injuries that could stunt their progress for future events and training. Jongin didn't want to be the reason for that. Especially not with Jongdae.

“Jongin, what is it?”

“I’m a little afraid of hurting you.”

“You’re not going to hurt me, Jongin. I know it’s not ideal, and isn’t ideally preparing you for the real case scenario but you’re going to need to not hit at all when we practice, alright? We’re miming the methods because well, any preparation is better than no preparation. And if we injure ourselves here mid practice, well… we just can’t risk it.”

“Oh, okay.” Jongin chucked sheepishly, already preferring the sound of it. “So… I crouch down?”

Jongdae nodded his head.

Jongin did as instructed. He then mimicked each move he could recall from his brother’s earlier demonstration. One leg straightened out, the other in a kneeling position. He glanced up at Jongdae, unsure.

“Raise your leg slowly.”

Jongin did as instructed once again.

“Now, two more times. See how high you can raise your leg.”

Jongin tried, and the first time winced. He hadn’t warmed up, because he wasn’t expecting to have to practice the methods himself. He felt like a fool. But instead of letting it show, gritted his teeth and pushed his leg up in the air a little further. He brought it back down and repeated the movement, becoming pleasantly surprised at how high it eventually began to place.

Jongdae sent him a smile that was contented. “Well Jonginnie, It looks like you’re a natural.”

Jongin sent his brother a surprised smile. “Really?” There was a slight sparkle to his eye as he asked this.

Jongdae nodded. “Now I’m going to stand here and you have to aim for me, alright? Don’t actually hit me, though.”

Jongin laughed.

“You then need to roll to the side before you spring up onto your feet. Give yourself some distance. Spin a couple of times, run a few circles around them… whatever you do, just try your best to deflect your opponent’s attacks.”

Jongdae glanced up in check that his brother was still listening to him, and instead froze at the image before him. “What is it?” He asked, looking over his shoulder worriedly. “What are you smiling like that at? I swear if you’ve set another prank or there’s a rabid animal about to pounce on me… I’m going to kill you!”

Jongin’s eyes snapped up towards his brother. “What?” He asked, dazed. “Oh… uh, no… not that. It’s just.” His smile widened. “It kind of reminds me of dancing, hyung.”

“Definitely a natural.” Jongdae scoffed, teasingly. “But _men_ don’t dance.”

Jongin’s smile fell. A dark emotion flickered behind the dark depths of his eyes. “Just like they don’t sing, right hyung?” The smile reappeared, this time looking a lot smugger.  
  
It was when Jongdae stiffened that Jongin knew he had his older brother exactly where he wanted him. Jongdae groaned in defeat. “Okay you’ve proven your point. Now shut up and do as you’re told.”  
  
Jongin sent a playful smile Jongdae’s way. “Whatever you say, hyung.”

“Okay. So this next batch of advice is massively important. Emphasis on important. There are a lot of rules and procedures we have to follow, Jongin. And you need to know every single one of those. Not because I want to make your life difficult. I’m telling you these things because they’re important. I’ll constantly have to remind you of them for that exact reason. Jongin, if you make one wrong move here – with any of these things – you’re dead.”

Jongin nodded his head, but the longer Jongdae looked the easier it was for him to tell that his younger brother was beginning to get nervous.

“Like I said before, if one wrong move is made, you’re dead. There’s no way around that. Don’t ever get within reaching distance of this sort of opponent, you hear me? Don’t ever allow them the upper hand. We have four advantages Jongin. Do you know what they are?”  
  
Jongin bit on his lip, unsure. They had a completely opposite fighting style, and what worked best for the other didn’t exactly work best for the other one. Deciding he’d try and adopt his hyung’s mindset, he sent a hopeful smile Jongdae’s way. “Our recklessness?” Jongdae was a pretty reckless person in his methods, willing to try multiple tactics, bend and mould the variables and procedures suit his style,  Jongin was not. He'd prefer to have a set way of carrying out his methods, to not have to bend from that.   
  
“Wrong,” Jongdae’s reply was instant, sharp. “The first one is Deflection.”  
  
Jongin’s eyebrows furrowed together. He could see how it worked, but to hear something like that come out of his hyung’s mouth was odd. Jongdae had never backed out of a fight in his experience. Neither had any of them. “But Yixing—“  
  
Jongdae shook his head. “Forget about Yixing for a minute. Think about it. For animals, maybe. For hunting something, possibly. But fighting? No. You have to remember that we’ll be up against people this time. People who have brains. People who can think, talk, breathe and scream. People who can make plans prior and people that are three times our size. The majority of the Palace’s guards, Village guards – who they place in every corner of every place imaginable, by the way – are huge. And as degrading as this sounds, we’re basically ants in their eyes. They could pick us up, throw us over their shoulders. Gag us, tie us up, and imprison us. They could kill us in any way they please. They could snap our necks with their bare hands. We don’t stand a chance against that, Jongin. Recklessness in this situation would be the death of us. We charge in, we face them head on… no way around it, we’re dead.”  
  
Jongin nodded his head.  
  
“But,” Jongdae continued. “If we deflect, we stand a chance. They’re big, Jongin. Massively large. We deflect their advances, they start to persist. To carry on, and keep going. And we keep deflecting, eventually they’re going to tire out. Perfect time to make our move. Knock them out. We escape. We’re fast, we cover our faces, if they’re out long enough there’s nothing to worry about. If not, if they wake up and see us, remember what we look like… then we hatch a plan, we corner them. Make sure there is no escape. Make sure there’s no one within reaching or hearing distance. Then we kill them. It’s simple.”  
  
Jongdae took a deep breath. “Now the second, Jongin. Do you know our second advantage?”  
  
Jongin furrowed his eyebrows, thinking. “…Strength?” He wasn’t confident of his answer, and didn’t deal very well with being put on the spot without given time to think things through. And as much as Jongdae had suggested he forget about Yixing right now, Yixing had been their mentor. And he’d mentioned brute strength on more occasions than one.   
  
“Agility.” Jongdae chuckled. “Want me to elaborate?”  
  
Jongin shook his head. “No,” he said. “I get that. I understand how Agility is an advantage, hyung.”  
  
“Okay. The third?”  
  
“Reputation?”  
  
“Nope.” Jongdae shook his head a few times, tutting. “Precision.”  
  
Jongin felt eased at Jongdae’s use of the word precision. Finally an advantage he’d mastered. Precision was important to Jongin, he spent a lot of time perfecting things, bring them up to standard. “Don’t get me wrong, I understand how important precision is… but isn’t reputation an advantage too?” It was possible that they both were advantages, wasn't it? Surely reputation was the reason they'd lasted so long undisturbed in the forest acres. People were too frightened to even contemplate the thought of encountering a 'Rogue' head on.     
  
“It is and it isn’t, I guess. In a way reputation helps. But in the same way it hinders. Having a bad reputation scares some opponents away. But it also encourages more. The ‘stronger’ ones. The big, ‘bad’ guys. The ones with the ego problems. The ones who think they’re unstoppable. Having a reputation like ours to people like them… it’s a challenge. And boy do they love a challenge. Then… when they see us in person… well. Compared to them we’re not exactly the biggest of guys, you know? Guards are hired specifically, their physicality is very essential to the hiring process. These guys are brawn and no brain. We’re little to them, so therefore – according to them – we’re easy prey. So I suppose in this case, Reputation is more of a hindrance, than it is advantage. But if we’re precise… these guys don’t stand a chance. With them, fighting is a hit or a miss. It’s all based on the strength and intensity of their attacks. They punch us, it’s only going to count when they break their wrist. They’re sloppy and they base their techniques on the luck of the draw. With us, every hit is going to count. Every poke, prod, punch and kick is going to leave its mark. The only thing is we won’t break our hands. We’ll sure as hell get the job done, though.”  
  
“That makes a lot of sense, hyung. I’m glad precision is one of our main advantages. It’s probably the only one thus far that I’ve genuinely mastered.” There was a pause. "Is the fourth advantage Weapons?” Yixing and weapons… they were a match made in heaven. Yixing had even gone out of his way to make sure they were always equipped with weapons, even to the extent where he hand designed them for each individual, and would remind them of their importance every chance he got.  
  
He shook his head.“You're focusing too intently on what Yixing taught you." He peered at Jongin. "Our fourth and most important advantage is Words.”  
  
“Words?” Jongin echoed, in disbelief. “Words? But—” Jongin stopped. He took a deep breath. “Well that’s great,” he muttered instead. "And I'm screwed."  
  
Jongdae met his brother’s eyes, interest piqued. “Hm?”  
  
“Well,” he said. “Physique wise. I’m a lot taller and broader than you. Even with Yixing hyung and Lu—”  
  
“No, no, no,” Jongdae cut Jongin off. “You may be tall, you may be athletic, you may have a few solid muscles here and there. But you’re also lean, Jongin. You’re not overly buff. You’re not stocky and you’re not short. You’re tall, athletic, and on the lean side. It’s an advantage.”  
  
“Well it’s not like that matters. I’m still terrible with words, which according to you are the most important defense mechanism we’re capable of. How is that exactly, by the way?”  
  
Jongdae sucked in a sharp breath. “Well… when you master the art of lying and of verbal manipulation you can twist anything, or anyone. Turn them on your side. Dig into the deepest depths of their mind and find their weakest spots. You get to know a person well enough, you gain their trust, they open up to you. Tell you things no one else knows. And likewise, it’s kind of an exchange. You have to tell them something in return, you know? But how on earth are they ever sure what you’re telling them is the god’s honest truth, Jongin? There are so many aspects of yourself you can lie about, so many details you can leave out. But they’ll never know. Not really. Not until they see it with their own eyes.”  
  
He paused to catch his breath. “Just when they think they know you best, you surprise them. You show them a side of yourself you’re not proud of. Or maybe you are, maybe you’re just brilliant at hiding it. Maybe you trick them. A quiet ambush, which ultimately leads them to their death. A master plan that you cook up in hopes to turn them against those they hold dearest. It’s horrible, and it goes against everything I’ve ever taught you. But once again it’s our greatest weapon. Words are the most powerful thing, Jongin. Remember that.”  
  
Jongin wasn't convinced. “I think you’re just saying that because you’re biased.”  
  
Jongdae’s mouth fell open. “Excuse me?”  
  
Jongin crossed his arms over his chest, raising one challenging eyebrow. “You’re a singer. You like words. Of course you’re going to think they’re ‘our greatest weapon’.”

“Hey, no, no. I’m not—! I’m not saying this because I’m biased. I’m saying this because it’s true!”  
  
“I don’t believe you.” Something of a pout began to form on the younger’s lips.  
  
Which didn’t go unnoticed by Jongdae. “Oh so that’s what this is? You choose now to act like a child? Look, Jongin. This isn’t even up for discussion. It’s the truth. Words are our greatest weapon, whether you want them to be or not.”  
  
“Why isn’t it up for discussion, though? Perhaps you need to realize that just because something works for you doesn’t mean it works for everybody else.”  
  
“Look—I already told you if you don’t follow these rules and use these advantages to the best of your ability… you’re going to get yourself killed. There’s no way around that. It’s not a choice of what suits who, it’s life and death here Jongin. You follow these or you die. It’s a simple as that.”  
  
“Well that’s ironic because I think our ‘greatest advantage’ of all our advantages would have the adverse effect with me!”  
  
“What is that supposed to mean?”  
  
Jongin took a deep breath. “It means that if I went out to battle or fight or whatever with someone… I’d potentially end up getting killed because I’d say the wrong thing, okay?” Jongin slid down the bark of the tree he was leaned against, sitting down on the cold, hard ground. “What if I said something when I was terrified and it allowed them to pick up on the fear? The possible waver in my voice? So—yeah, okay. Words may be your greatest weapon, but they’d get me killed.”  
  
“Well… it’s not like you say the wrong thing all the time."  
  
Jongin sent his brother a disappointed stare. “When put on the spot I always say the wrong thing. Always. I just freeze up.”  
  
"Well I understand why you’re worried. If it’s about conveying the message across on the spot, I agree you’re going to have some trouble. But there will be times where you’ll have time to think things through and plan, and you’ll master the art of verbal manipulation on the spot, eventually, okay? Also it shouldn’t be so hard as you’re witty to begin with." Jongdae decided to bring the conversation back to its starting point. “So if words aren’t our greatest weapon – in your opinion – what is?”  
  
Jongin looked down at his feet. He brushed off a patch of dried dirt from his pants before mumbling: “Dance.”  
  
A teasing smile fell upon Jongdae’s lips. “What was that?”  
  
“I said… I said dance.” He buried his head into folded arms, mumbling.  
  
Jongdae laughed. It was loud and mocking. “And you’re not biased?”  
  
Jongin unfolded his arms and heatedly met the eyes of his older brother. “Well maybe I am. But at least I don’t have a problem admitting it! Which unlike you—”  
  
Jongdae scoffed. “Right. Okay. So go on, then. Tell me why it is you think dance is our greatest weapon exactly.”  
  
“Well… because… it fits in with a lot of our other advantages, for a start.”  
  
Jongdae quirked an eyebrow, urging the younger to continue.  
  
“Like… agility. And deflection. It helps a lot with deflection. And even… with precision! To be a dancer, you need to be precise. There’s more too.”

“Such as?”  
  
“Balance. Speed. I could go on…” Jongin laughed softly. “Dancing’s basically all of our advantages merged into one, hyung. Minus, uh, words… and speaking and yeah…”  
  
Jongdae shook his head and he was just about to open his mouth when they heard a rustle. It was fairly loud. And nearby. Both of their eyes widened. Alerted, they glanced around their surroundings.  
  
“What was that?” Jongdae hissed.  
  
Jongin slowly got up onto his feet. He inched closer to his older brother. “I don’t know,” he said, frowning.  
  
The rustle sounded again. Louder this time.  
  
Jongin firmly grabbed a hold of Jongdae’s sleeve, better to stick together in times like these. They'd learned that the hard way. “Hyung?” he whispered. “I think there’s someone here.”  
  
Jongdae was going to sprout a sarcastic reply back, but decided against it once he noticed the genuine fear clouding his brother’s expression. And body language. There were times when it was really evident that Jongin actually was the younger brother and that he really hadn’t had the childhood he deserved. And it was in those times when Jongdae couldn’t sit back and playfully tease him. It was in those times when he felt his protective older brother instincts kick in. “It may just be an animal, Jonginnie.”  
  
Jongin let out a quiet sigh. “And if it’s not?”  
  
“Well it’s highly unlikely that a person could’ve found their way here without us noticing. Isn’t it?”  
  
“Yes but… were we so caught up in our discussion...?” Jongin paused. “We could've missed it. Yixing and Luhan aren't due back for another day or two, and that was their rough estimate, so unless...” Jongin had lowered his tone of voice towards the latter end of his sentences, so only Jongdae could hear. If there was an intruder lurking, the last thing he wanted to know was that there was four of them, as opposed to only two.

"I doubt it's them," Jongdae said. "They have no reason to hide, so why would they? You're right. We were so caught up in our conversation that we so easily could've missed an intruder, well, _intruding."_  
  
“Maybe you did,” a soft voice added, sounding worried, and muffed. It wasn’t Jongdae. It wasn’t Jongin, either. “Maybe we’re in trouble.”  
  
Jongin and Jongdae’s eyes enlarged. They shuffled closer together. Jongin’s grip tightened on his hyung’s sleeve.  
  
“I wouldn’t worry too much,” another new voice said. It was much more playful. Teasing. “It’d be good practice, no?” Jongdae could swear he’d heard the eye roll in the voices sentence. He could also swear that he’d heard that exact voice many, many times before. But if was muffled, so he couldn't be certain.  
  
“Where are you?” He called out, cautiously. He looked around his surroundings to still find no one in sight.  
  
A branch poked Jongdae in his side. He yelped. “What the—?” A loud thud, followed by another sounded. Jongdae’s head snapped towards the sound, to find two relatively large rocks laying on the ground. “Okay what the hell is this?”  
  
More shuffling sounded. Jongdae was ready to pick up one of the rocks from the ground and launch it in any direction he could’ve determined to be the source of the sound, before a leg appeared in his peripheral vision. And then a face. “You mean _who?”_  
  
“Jesus Christ!” Jongdae yelped, placing a hand over his heart. He jumped back, and in turn dragged Jongin with him. They tumbled over and fell backwards onto the dried mud.

The owner of the voice was laughing hysterically by this point. It waited until the brothers had adjusted themselves and gotten back up off the ground before speaking. “Kind of you to say, but they usually call me Yixing.”  
  
Jongdae walked closer to the tree, glaring up at the dark haired man hanging there. Yixing sent him a wink, though it was upside down, and hardly as effective as the man intended. “And what the hell are you doing hanging upside down in a tree, Yixing?” He looked to the left of Yixing and noticed the smiling blond hanging there, too. “And you too, Luhan? What the hell?”  
  
“Why I’m watching my prodigy teach his prodigy and wiping the proud tear from my eye.” Yixing snorted. “Nah, I just like the view.”  
  
Luhan laughed softly. “I like the view, too.”  
  
“Besides,” Yixing began, flipping over and descending the tree quickly. He held his hand out to Luhan, who took it without hesitation. “I was doing what I do best – which is, of course, eavesdropping – and I couldn’t help but hear your heated little discussion.” He walked over to Jongdae and Jongin, before plopping down onto the dried mud without a second thought. “And I have to say… that Jongin kid of yours is right.” He sent a conspicuous wink towards the youngest of the four. “Dance is, in fact, a very useful weapon. It requires a lot of upper and lower body strength. You have to be focused, on point and precise with practically every move. When you’re lithe and precise, no one hears you. When you’re quick, no one can catch you. I have to take his side in this debate, Jongdae.”  
  
Jongin shuffled closer to Yixing, before sitting down beside him, lightly nudging him, a smile on his features.   
  
“But I,” Luhan joined in. He tiptoed over to Jongdae and patted the dried mud before choosing to sit down. He offered a place to Jongdae, who gladly accepted. “I agree with Jongdae more so, because singing – and words – truly are the greatest masterpiece this world has on offer. When you actually sit back and think, it’s so wonderful. How many people out there have it bad? How many are dying, or starving… or just so out of touch with themselves? There’re so many, and it's a truly harrowing thought. But with the right words, in the right quantity, at the right time, you can charm anyone. You can make anyone happy. You can make anyone smile… you could even make them fall in love with you. Or more importantly, give them a reason to live another day. Maybe for the terminally ill it won't heal their ailments, but words have a power of inspiration, which can instill a fighting will within, give them enough courage to at least try to survive another day. Nothing is nicer than song, truly.”  
  
Jongdae nodded his head throughout Luhan’s speech. He then reached over and patted the blond man’s hand firmly. “Exactly.” Jongdae paused for a second. “Anyway… I still don’t understand. Why the tree?”  
  
“Because.” Yixing let out an exaggerated sigh. “I like trees, these days.” He sent a glance towards the tree. “They’re one of the few advantages we do have around here.” Feeling Jongdae's lingering gaze on him, he sighed. "We were attempting to pick out some fruit, we're low on supplies." He sighed. "It's nearing winter though, everything's dying and browning. Not a lot left to be salvaged. I know we said we weren't due back for another two days at least, but times are tough. There's not much to collect on either front at the moment, be it the village or the forest."  
  
Jongin let out a light scoffed.  
  
Yixing sent Jongin a faux-affronted look. He then shuffled closer and tackled the younger into a headlock, before ruffling up his hair. "My reasoning isn't good enough for you?"  
  
Jongin shuffled out of the hold, aiming to kick Yixing in the shin. He missed. “It’s just… interesting, I guess. Hyung’s been bringing this advantage topic up all day and didn't mention our surroundings once. It's interesting how one person can draw such a differing conclusion from the same stimuli. Which begs the question: what is the overreaching conclusion that nullifies the rest?"  
  
Jongdae blinked, letting it sink in. "But are we always going to be situated in the same area? Do we even know the advantages of other landmarks like we do here? Will we even know if they have trees? Granted, your surroundings can be used, but you can't pretend each and every surrounding is the same in infrastructure. If breaking it down to the sum of its parts, if worse comes to worse anything that works, works and I guess this is me playing into your little ploy to let you know that as much as I state the advantages as facts, in the 'grand scheme' and at the 'heart of it', everything is a basis outline and not the be all end all, so words aren't always an advantage for every single human on this god forsaken planet." Puffing out a breath and shaking his head in disbelief. _"Maknaes."_

Jongin nodded, please with this.   
  
Yixing lay back on the ground, he kicked his legs up before placing them back down with a small thud. “Touché, young ones."  He let out a prolonged sigh. "God, I'm starving."  
  
Jongdae scowled. “Screw you, Yixing.” Jongdae then looked at the soil beneath him, sighing. He didn't voice his hunger like Yixing had, but definitely related. It'd been days since they'd eaten.   
  
“Wouldn’t you just love to— hey!” He avoided the rock he’d earlier thrown to the ground that was now being aimed at his own body—by Jongdae. “Besides, you’re both babies. So stop fighting over age.”  
  
“I could say the same to you, ‘Xing.”  
  
“Hey now, Luhan.” Yixing chuckled. “You’re supposed to be on my side.”  
  
Luhan mirrored Yixing’s playful smile. He then glanced around the patch of forest in which they sat. “So who says we catch our dinner before it gets dark, surely everyone's hungry?”

The chorus of agreement that followed was answer enough.


	3. Renegade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l1ICxc-PyTA

"Wait a second. Before we set off..." Luhan glanced at Jongdae. "We do have a camp to return to, don't we?"  
  
"It's not exactly a... camp as of the current moment. But we do have beds."  
  
Luhan nodded his head. “Better than nothing. Cloth, right?”  
  
Jongin snorted. "Moss."  
  
“Moss?” Luhan sighed. He glanced at the brothers. “Really, guys?”  
  
Jongdae shrugged. “It was all we could find.” He sent an imprudent smile the elder’s way.  
  
Luhan sighed once more.  
  
“It was that or nothing,” Jongdae added as an afterthought. He turned his attention towards his younger brother. “Right, Jonginnie?”  
  
Jongin let out a bitter sounding chuckle. He leaned back against the bark of the tree, propped the lower half of his legs up to his knees, laid his hands onto his knees, and scowled. “If that was the case I would have rather slept with nothing.”  
  
“Weren’t the moss blankets your idea in the first place?” There was a teasing lilt to Jongdae’s voice as he said this. Forcing back his laughter at the expression his younger brother wore, he raised one eyebrow, daring the younger to say otherwise.  
  
Jongin’s eyes narrowed. It wasn’t even the fact that Jongdae was right in that originally yes, it was his idea make blankets out of the moss that bothered him. It was the condescending act that his hyung was pulling that made Jongin’s blood boil, as if the elder hadn't encouraged his moss blankets plan days prior, that he hadn't played a hand as to why they came into fruition. Yes, Jongin was the one to suggest them, but who threaded them together? Who didn't remove the insects from the moss?  
  
That was on Jongdae.  
  
“As if you didn't play an integral part also? Especially in keeping the bugs intact and all.”  
  
Jongdae blinked his eyes innocently – as if he had no idea how condescending he was being – and since Jongin knew exactly how much his older brother _did_ know, it only added towards the younger’s irritation. “Thought it'd be nice for you to have friends to whine to in the times we're not speaking." Jongdae crouched down, leaned forward and then pinched his younger brother’s cheek. “Jonginnie."  
  
If looks could kill... "How do you even go about making a nickname out of your name?" Jongin then asked, perplexed.  
  
“You don't. Because.” Jongdae waggled his finger in front of Jongin’s face in a teasing manner, repeatedly. Irritatingly. "Hyung simply covers it all, doesn't it?"  
  
Jongin quirked one contradictory eyebrow. “Not out here,” he said, sounding three times more confident.  
  
Jongdae’s eyes were the ones that narrowed this time. He hated that damn condescending eyebrow quirk. Which Jongin did all the time. “And since when, Jongin? Whether we’re in a village or a forest or a lake or even a tree, you know it still applies. I am your hyung. And you will refer to me as such.”  
  
Jongin’s lips quirked upwards. He met the gaze of his older brother head on. “Or else?”  
  
“You won’t live to see another sunrise.”  
  
Jongin almost froze. But then a playful smile crept upon his lips. “Is that a threat?” He chuckled. "Jongdae?"  
  
“It’s whatever you make of it, little one.”  
  
“Little one?” Jongin echoed in disbelief. “You’re the one who’s at least half a foot shorter than I am!”  
  
“I’m not talking about height here, Jonginnie.”  
  
Jongin blinked. “Then age?—Maybe you have that against me—but it’s by two years. It’s not like you’re fifteen years older or something...”  
  
“Fair point you have there. But funnily enough," Jongdae's tone had taken a painfully playful lilt. "I'm not talking about age either." A mockingly playful sparkle in his dark eyes.  
  
“Then—?” It took a few seconds for the realization to dawn on the younger, which was evidenced with a cringe. "Hyung, what the hell?"  
  
Jongdae leaned in and pinched his younger brother’s cheek mockingly once more. “Don’t forget I’m always three steps ahead of you, Jonginnie.”  
  
"That's the lie of the century and you know it." Jongin's wince didn't lessen though. “Plus, how would you even know to begin with? Seriously Jongdae, that's the creepiest thing I've ever heard you say. You do realize you're my _brother_ , right?"  
  
Jongdae didn’t bat an eyelid. “And in such, I raised you, didn’t I?”  
  
Jongin’s lip sunk under his top row of teeth. “But I was seven when we relocated and, uh... there was really no need for..."  
  
Jongdae chuckled. "Aw," he said, turning back to Luhan and Yixing. "He's so flustered about it all, how cute."  
  
"Yah," Jongin grumbled, cheeks tinting. "Why would you even say something like that?!"  
  
"Because I'm your older brother and it's my duty in life to embarrass you as often as I can. Especially in public."  
  
"But you don't even have any evidence or proof to back up your claims." Jongin's nose was crinkled, lips almost pouting.  
  
Jongdae was finding it hard to contain his laughter. “Whatever helps you sleep at night, young one."  
  
"It's the truth, though. Before we relocated, we had parents and it's obviously the parents' duty to, you know..."  
  
Jongdae's smile was bright, playful. He blinked a little too innocently at the younger. "I'm afraid I don't know, would you like to inform me, my dearest Jonginnie?"  
  
Jongin let out a sigh that was a mixture of being misunderstood and frustrated. “You're impossible," he muttered. "I may not be able to remember much from before we relocated here, but I'm certain you didn't change me as a baby. You were a baby yourself and it's a parents' duty to do such. I'm not going to..." His nose crinkled again. "Show you anything because that's what you'll want and, uh--"  
  
"That's what I _want?_ " Jongdae exclaimed, practically cackling. “Is it really? Well. You poor, misguided soul, you.” He chuckled, though the expression that painted his features was more of a grimace. "I think I'll well and truly pass on that offer, since, like you said, we’re _brothers_ and all.”  
  
"Yah," Jongin said in mortification. "Stop twisting my words, it wasn't an offer at all!"  
  
"Hey I'm not the brother implying that the other brother wants to see me naked, but okay."  
  
"No," Jongin mumbled, burying his face in his hands. "That's not what I'm implying at all. Aish. Besides," he said with a glare. "You're the one who brought the nakedness topic out of nowhere, not me. Why do I have to deal with the brunt of it?"  
  
"Karma for that specific saying I'm apparently fond of, maybe? The one I can't even recall saying more than once, actually."  
  
"What other saying?" Yixing asked, smirking.  
  
Jongdae's eyes narrowed. "Don't even go there, Zhang."  
  
Yixing chuckled.  
  
"Yah, that was obviously a joke. And it was when no one else was around, and--" Jongin let out a frustrated breath. "Aish."  
  
"Well, isn't this obviously a joke, too? And so what if we're around these two, it's not as though we don't consider them as family, too. Unless." Jongdae wiggled his eyebrows. "You're holding a torch for one of them and secretly want one of them to take up your offering from before, eh?"  
  
"Oh my god," Jongin muttered, burying his head into his hands. "Hyung, what the hell?"  
  
"I'm just saying." Jongdae blinked innocently, sending a conspicuous glance between Yixing and Luhan, which went unnoticed by the both of them but not by Jongin, who quirked an eyebrow. "It's not entirely improbable, is it? Improbable for you and I since we're related, but Yixing and Luhan aren't our blood relations. And even if I see them as family that doesn't dictate that each and every one of us is going to, does it? And if we were ever going to fall in love or like someone, realistically they're the closest to us, no?" He cast another glance at Yixing and Luhan, who both seemed entirely oblivious. "Friends can become lovers, sometimes the process is so subtle, they don't even realize. But the fact of the matter stands that they care about each other in a different way."  
  
"You're sneaky," Jongin whispered, eyebrows furrowing. "Also you're talking about this as if you truly believe in love or something." Jongin paused. "Do you?"  
  
Jongdae shrugged easily. "For other people, I guess."  
  
"Well whatever the case is," Yixing said, yawning. "If the maknae has a secret crush on me or not, I won't make a big deal out of it if he doesn't want me to. It's kind of flattering actually. Plus, not all that surprising. When exposed to me on a daily basis, how does one not develop a crush on me, hmm?"  
  
Jongdae rolled his eyes.  
  
"Because there's nothing to make a big deal out of," Jongin mumbled, suppressing a sigh. Jongdae was great at putting him in awkward positions, with topics he didn't know how to deal with. "I don't have a crush on any of you, okay? It's just Jongdae being... Jongdae."  
  
"Yah!" Jongdae sent a threatening look Jongin's way. "What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
Jongin rolled his eyes at his brother. "You like to make people's lives difficult, it's a known fact."  
  
Jongdae narrowed his eyes at the younger, but there was no true malice behind the look.  
  
A dangerously playful glint lit up Yixing's eyes. “Perhaps I will take up your offer, Jonginnie,” he teased as a lazy smirk worked its way upon his lips. "I'm not your brother, after all."  
  
Jongin cringed, sending Yixing a betrayed glance. "I thought we'd already moved on from this?"  
  
"Nah," Yixing drawled. "That was just wishful thinking on your part, my dearest maknae."  
  
"Perhaps we planned the whole thing," Jongdae continued, chuckling. "Together."  
  
Jongin huffed. "You're both insufferable." Then turned the other way and intending to blank both his hyung and Yixing out entirely. "What did I do to deserve any of this, anyway?"  
  
"The youngest always gets teased Jongin," Jongdae said soothingly. "The quicker you get used to it the easier it becomes."  
  
At this they took into account Jongin's sitting position.  
  
“Aww,” they cooed in unison. "How cute." Before turning to each other and chuckling.  
  
“Is he pulling a tantrum?” Yixing whispered, glancing at Jongdae for validation. “If I learned anything from observing the townspeople, he’s perfected the body language of a child whose last apple got taken from their hands before they had finished…” He paused. “Usually by their mother. Whilst they were still hungry.”  
  
“Believe me,” Jongdae said. “He definitely is. I can almost feel his pout from over here.”  
  
Jongin glared at the soles of his shoes. There was nothing he hated more than being babied by Jongdae. He knew they weren’t able to see as he was facing the opposing direction to them, but, he thought bitterly, perhaps his know-it-all hyung had some telepathic way of communicating that Jongin had no previous knowledge of.  
  
“And I could bet you his last sock that he’s glaring at us right now,” Jongdae sang.  
  
Jongin rolled his eyes. “Of course you would,” he muttered under his breath whilst removing a lump of dried mud off his shoe. "Good thing I don't wear socks, hm?"  
  
“As well as muttering nonsense that we’re not supposed to hear under his breath.”  
  
“It’s not nonsense,” Jongin argued. He rearranged his sitting position so that he was face-to-face with his hyung. "Just reiterating the fact that if you were betting socks on anything, I wouldn't be in debt."  
  
“It’s nonsense to me.”  
  
“Well, everything is nonsense to you, so...”  
  
Jongdae scoffed. “That’s not true. You know that’s not true.”  
  
“Well,” Jongin said. “I beg to differ.”  
  
“Well maybe you’re just argumentative,” Jongdae said offhandedly, scowling.  
  
Yixing rolled his eyes, realizing where all of this was going. Would the two ever have a day where they didn't get their daily bicker in?  
  
“Or maybe you enjoy always putting the blame on me?”  
  
“Really?” Jongdae rolled his eyes. “Has there ever been an instance where I’ve put the blame on you, Jongin?”  
  
"Try every instance you possibly can, maybe?"  
  
“Now you’re just being dramatic.”  
  
“See?” Jongin let out a frustrated sigh. “That’s exactly it. The minute I say – or do – anything that defends me or my point I’m being ‘dramatic’ and nothing I say holds any relevance! The minute I disagree with anything you say I’m ‘overreacting’ or completely wrong – even in situations where there isn’t a clear ‘right’ answer. There's legitimately no way to win when we play by your rules.”  
  
“That still doesn’t explain how I’m putting the blame on you, Jongin.”  
  
“—And then you directly avoid the subject because you know I’m right. And you just can’t admit that, can you? Aish.”  
  
"What?" Jongdae’s puzzled expression only proved to further irk Jongin. "I'll have you know--"  
  
“You know what?” Jongin sighed. “We can't ever seem to get on the same page. Just forget it.”  
  
Jongdae sighed, realizing the younger was right. "Fine," he muttered.  
  
Yixing let out the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. “Finally!” He jumped onto his feet. “So now that everything is settled can we please catch our dinner before it gets dark?—This time with a lot less drama, perhaps?"

  
The journey towards the river had been relatively quiet, which had been quite a feat considering when the four of them usually gathered together there was always something taking place.  
  
If Yixing and Luhan weren’t discussing something, Yixing and Jongdae would be teasing one another.  
  
If Yixing and Jongdae weren’t teasing one another, the brothers would be bickering.  
  
If the brothers weren’t bickering then Yixing would be letting them in on the happenings of his adventures, and making sure to zone in and focus on the funny parts, and as this would happen Luhan would be on the lookout for potential threats and dangers.  
  
Sometimes Yixing and Luhan would swap roles, and though Luhan’s tales were a lot less funny, they were a lot more informative and meaningful.

Jongin especially liked listening to Luhan’s tales as he claimed that anything that broadened his knowledge and outlook on life was sure to be a good thing. And good things were rare in their patch of the woods, so why not immerse in them?

This time however, the journey had been a lot quieter than usual. The reason perhaps laying in the fact that Yixing—who was potentially the one in charge of telling tales and making each journey more peculiar and unique than the last, seemed quite subdued, keeping mainly to himself. He didn’t say much of anything, and seemed on high alert.

Luhan was quietly humming to himself, yet seemed happy enough. Luhan always seemed happy, so Jongin knew there was nothing new in that department.

Jongdae—who usually had more than enough to say—wasn’t saying anything at all, either. He was however, dragging his feet and pouting and Jongin didn’t even have to question it, knowing his hyung was sulking.

Jongdae wasn’t fond of how much effort they had to put into catching their dinner, and this was only magnified by the fact that he wasn’t fond of the taste of fish at all.

Jongin could recall countless occasions when he’d heard the older complain that the amount of energy they gained from the meal—if they were successful enough to catch it in the first place that was—was all too soon taken away from them by the trek back to where they were nesting.

Jongin himself was the only one of the four who normally didn’t say much of anything when they made their way over to the river. As much as he preferred silence, he’d honestly grown quite accustomed to the other three chatting and making light hearted jokes as they did. He didn’t bring the subject of their silence to the table though, as silence genuinely was a rare twist of events when these three were in each other’s vicinity. And perhaps because he certainly enjoyed silence more the others did, as it allowed him time to think and regulate his thoughts. And that was always nice, too.  
  
After hurling themselves through a seemingly never ending array of thick tree branches covered in moss, they finally made it to the grassy banking a bar few meters away from the river.

The river happened to be especially beautiful in the evening. It tended to be beautiful almost all of the time, but the sight in the evening was beyond that. It was breathtakingly beautiful, ethereal, almost. Possessed by the sheer wonders of both sky and earth, everything else paled in comparison. The variety of colors the sky had chosen for its palette in that particular moment in time, every day in the evening, would cast and reflect down magnificently into the soft ripples of water, and give life to the most breath taking of canvases in return.

Softest hues of pink and blue tinted it on that particular evening, and if the four of them had any time to laze around and gaze at the sky, they surely would’ve marveled at the sight for quite some time.

“Ready guys?” Luhan asked as he threw each of them their wooden spears. New and unsharpened as the other ones they previously owned had been burned to a crisp by the forest fire.  
  
Everybody nodded in response. Yixing then handed out their knives, before directing them to sit down on the grass of the river bed. He passed out rocks to each person, too, just in case the knives needed any extra sharpening. Once he’d done that, he began to chip wood off the end of his spears, the others joining in soon after.

They’d had many a year of practice in sharpening spears and using the forest’s resources as tools, so it didn’t take them very long to sharpen these new ones, either.

“So we’ll split into two teams of two and work at opposite ends of the river, okay? Essentially we’ll catch more that way,” said Luhan suddenly, catching the attention of the other three. “Is that okay guys? – As you already know our teams always tend to be Yixing and myself and you both in a team. But if you want to change it up a little just come right out and say it, okay? I don’t mind at all.”

Yixing placed his arm over Luhan’s shoulder lazily. “Luhan, we’ve done this hundreds of times before, I don’t think we need to go through protocol again. Plus there’s no point changing teams since we’re so used to these ones already.”

“I was just making sure,” Luhan muttered. “Just in case someone wanted to have a little variety for once, or something.”

Yixing clucked his tongue, sending a faux-affronted expression Luhan’s way. “Or perhaps the real reason is because you want some variety and you’re sick of working with me, eh?” He was joking, and Luhan knew he was joking, or at least he hoped so.

Luhan tilted his head to the side slightly. “Of course I do, ‘Xing, don’t be silly.” He reached over and patted Yixing on the hands and Yixing visibly relaxed at the gesture. “I’m just putting it out there that if the rest of you ever want to mix it up a little, I have no objections to that either."

Yixing clucked his tongue. “Like we could separate them anyway.”

Jongdae and Jongin rolled their eyes simultaneously whilst Luhan managed a small smile. “True,” he said softly. He then turned his attention towards the brothers. “So everything’s settled then? Everyone’s happy with the outcome?”

“I guess we have no other choice,” Jongin deadpanned.

Jongdae scoffed from beside of him. “And what’s that supposed to mean, huh? You think I’m not of any use? That just because I don’t like the taste of fish and think it’s not worth the effort we put in to catching it, that I’m incapable and can’t catch any, huh?”

Jongin stifled a sigh. “Way to jump to conclusions.” He then chuckled to himself. "You do suck at catching fish though, I won't lie."

“Pfft,” Jongdae said disbelievingly. "Just because I haven't shown the true extent of my fish catching prowess, does not mean that it does not exist."

Unseen to the brothers but Yixing and Luhan took this time and swiftly made their way over to their end of the river and out of the brothers’ way before an argument could unfold. Neither Jongdae nor Jongin seemed to notice, but they never did when they were bickering with one another.

Jongin just laughed. “Hyung you’re so cute,” he said.

Jongdae’s eyes narrowed. “I’ll show you who’s cute when you’re lying on ground, five gasps away from dying.”

“Was that a threat?” Jongin laughed. There was an amused smile playing on his lips. “Or is it only evidence of a threat if you show me the true extent of your threat making prowess, by chance?”

"I'll show you," Jongdae promised.

"I'll be waiting," Jongin replied.

 

"I hate fish."

"We know," Jongin grumbled. "It's the first thing you say every time we have to resort to it."

Splashes of water were beginning to slap against Jongin’s cheek every so often and the first few times Jongin ignored it. Focused on looking for the fish, occupying himself on perfecting the placement of his spear, on finding the perfect blade-to-fish-scale ratio and perfecting it for when he did stumble upon the fish. The splashes continued, and it got to a point in which Jongin couldn’t block it out nor ignore it.

There was a hint of a scowl lining his features as he turned to his hyung and asked, “Would you stop that?”

Jongdae stuck his tongue out at his younger brother. “Why don’t you make me?”

Jongin sighed. “You’re so immature.”

Jongdae’s laugh was much more pronounced this time around. 

 

Jongin let out a long sigh. “Why am I always stuck with you?”

“Because I’m your brother,” was Jongdae’s effortlessly cheerful reply. “Also you didn’t voice any complaints back when Luhan asked about it just then, so suck it up.”

“Only if you promise to put some effort into catching the fish, too.”

“Fine,” Jongdae dragged the word out, pouting. “But only if we make it more fun.”

Jongin raised an eyebrow. “I’m wary of agreeing to that as your idea of fun recently is a little… questionable. And requires you tripping me up in some form before you even consider the prospect of it.”

Jongdae’s laughter doubled. “I just mean a friendly competition, Jonginnie. And,” he sighed. “I promise not to trip you up this time.”

Jongin nodded.

“Whoever catches the most fish wins, then?”

“Deal."

After twenty minutes of throwing spears and twenty minutes of searching and finding no fish whatsoever; which when they did show up—rarely—and narrowly missing them, Jongdae let out a long, frustrated sigh. “Let’s take a break,” Jongdae said, directing Jongin to sit on the grassy banking.

“Fish really aren’t worth half the effort we put in to catching them, just like I said.” He turned towards Jongin. “Do you agree yet?”

“Not really.” Jongin sat up. “I enjoy working for food, personally. It feels like I’ve earned it if I do.”

“We put enough effort into everything else we do to survive; feeding ourselves should come a lot easier.”

“Maybe you’re right,” Jongin said. “But I feel a sense of completion when I work for something and rightfully earn it.” He paused, musing to himself. "Weren't we kind of raised that way?" Though he didn't intend to go into a discussion about it, so wasn't surprised when Jongdae didn't reply. He wasn't even sure if his brother had heard his previous sentence altogether. 

A comfortable silence that passed through them lasted a few moments before Jongin broke it by humming. He lay back down on the grassy bank and glanced up at the now darkening sky. “Sometimes I wonder…” he trailed off.

Jongdae turned to face him. “About what?”

“About us. All of us. This life.”

Jongdae groaned. “Ugh, same. Why were we of all people placed here, and why can’t we escape it. That there’s so much more to life than what we’re experiencing right now. Things like that, right?”

“No, not really.” There was a soft smile playing at Jongin’s lips. “More contemplative, I suppose. It correlates to what you said but goes beyond that. Beyond the surface. I always find myself wondering how and why everything panned out the way it did. Why we were placed here, how we were placed here. And as well as that, what our purpose is, too. There has to be a purpose. There’s more to life, more to humans. We can’t be placed here purely to breathe, eat, and sleep. Or just to repopulate. Because if so that is an utterly belittling and insignificant existence, and I don’t want that. Why create something that has no further purpose? What happens after this life and will we ever know? Thoughts like that keep me up at night, I could contemplate it for days, months. Years.”

“For once I agree entirely with you.”

Jongin smiled. “Sometimes I even contemplate the thought of us not being related elsewhere, Jongdae hyung. In a different era or dimension perhaps. I think, of course, we’d still know one another and come in close contact every day, but wouldn’t be related by blood. Though it's unlikely and I probably sound crazy thinking this kind of thing, contemplating it, but sometimes I wonder if our advanced knowledge -- particularly in scientific areas -- means we're destined for something else, you know? Like we have something of a gift, something that should be expanded, put to use. It's a waste otherwise, wouldn't you agree?”

“Well what a pity we’re in this one where we are, huh?” Jongdae’s playful smile returned. “I’m just kidding. But I do think you’re right, though I have no idea how we'd put all this knowledge to use. However, for the topic at hand, I think there’s more than that. Perhaps as well as other eras, there are other dimensions. But expanded by a million. Ones in which your existence is fluid, and not tied down to one thing. Your existence is endless and you’re you, but you’re not you. Or you are, but not entirely. You’re not a person but an entity. You’re you but you’re split into a million different fragments, fragments of yourself. Your past, present and your future. And so on.”

"As crazy as this may sound, I understand what you're getting at and I agree. Maybe to a slightly lesser extent, in that, it's probably not expanded by millions and will have some solid rules to follow. Not all fluidity.” He blinked. "Perhaps we're ahead of our time, hyung."

Jongdae laughed. “Maybe crazy is preferable in this life.” Jongdae wore a contemplative expression. "Perhaps."

“Maybe,” Jongin agreed. He pushed himself up into a sitting position. “Shall we go back and attempt to catch at least one fish?”

“Hey it’s not our fault none of them are swimming our way!”

“I’m not saying it is. We should at least make another attempt though, no?”

“Okay.” Jongdae nodded as he hopped up onto his feet. “I bet you that I’m going catch double the amount of fish you will.”

Jongin shrugged his shoulders in an offhanded manner. “Then I hope you enjoy losing.”

“Oh come on,” Jongdae let out a loud cackle. “I’m like the master fish catcher!”

Jongin raised an incredulous eyebrow. “Honestly speaking, have you ever, in your entire lifetime caught even one fish, hyung?”

“Yeah!” Jongdae said quickly, defensively. He scrunched his nose up not soon after. “Maybe…”

Jongin chuckled. “Let’s go.”

It had been several minutes. They’d had no luck. Jongdae puffed out his cheeks. He kicked his leg through the water of the lake and stared at the splash it made. Just as he was about to get himself out of the water and flop back onto the grassy bank, in his peripheral vision he saw something whiz by. In the water. Which could only mean one thing.

“Aah!” Jongdae exclaimed. He reached forward and latched onto the material of Jongin’s shirt. Tugging at it to grab the younger’s attention.

Jongin turned around to face his older brother. “What is it, did you find one?”

“Yes!” The elder nodded his head frantically. “There! Do you see it? It’s right in front of you, it literally just swam behind that rock– go, quickly, catch it!”

Jongin gave a nod of affirmation. He then signalled his brother to be quiet. He then slowly crouched down, placing one hand just where the rock ended. He bent his hand slightly so it made a barrier like wall, and with the other hand did the exact same thing but at the opposite side, successfully entrapping fish between his palms. Making sure to be precise, he scooped the fish into his palms.

“Why aren’t you spearing it?” Jongdae screamed as he noticed his younger brother had dropped his spear altogether and was instead scooping the fish up with his hands.

“Shh!” Jongin said.

“It’s not like it can hear me,” he raised his voice even more.

Jongin crinkled his nose. “Why are you even shouting?”

“Because I can!”

“Jongdae—”  
  
Jongdae moved forward. “Gimmie the goddamn fish,” he said and he reached over to grab it out of Jongin’s hands.

Jongin moved back, evading his brother’s attack.“Catch your own.”

“Now isn’t the time to get all eccentric on me,” Jongdae muttered, scowling. “Who catches a fish with their bare hands when they have a sharpened spear sitting right beside them?”

Jongin pulled a face. “It has nothing to do with eccentricity. It’s all about common sense.”

Jongdae scoffed. “How is that common sense?”

“Because the fish is tiny! If we’re comparing it to the standard of the other fish we’ve seen in this same lake, anyway. If we spear it, taking into account your track record of sloppily made lopsided spearing—”

Jongdae’s eyes narrowed. 

“—We’re going to lose chunks of the meat once we remove said spear. And then our meal size will be cut down even more. Basically, I’m not risking it.”

Jongdae muttered a string of incoherent sentences under his breath. He then turned to face his younger brother. “How are we going to kill it then? Trust me, even if it’s messier spearing is so much easier!”

“Break its neck,” Jongin said.

Jongdae was taken-aback. “W-what?”

“I said we’ll have to break its neck.”

Jongdae scoffed. “Because that’s humane.”

“I never said anything about it being humane,” Jongin muttered. “If you need another reason, just think of the blood.”

Jongdae huffed. “I hate you,” he said.

 

Jongin was laying back on the grass banking, watching his brother in mild amusement as he splashed around in the water chasing after their should be second catch of the day.  
“Goddamn it!” Jongdae screamed. “I told you the spearing method was so much better!”

Jongin couldn’t suppress his laughter any longer.

Jongdae sent a harsh glare Jongin’s way. “Fuck you,” he said.

“Running around after it like a headless chicken isn’t going to help your case, hyung. Just relax, all right? Be quiet and sneak up on it.”

“How the hell am I supposed to be calm when this little fucker won’t stop wriggling and swimming around like its life depends on it?”

“Its life does depend on it, though.”

“So will yours in a minute if you don’t stop the smart ass remarks.”

Jongin rolled his eyes, pushing himself up into a sitting position. “Do you want help?”

Jongdae grumbled. “No.”

“Are you sure?"

“No.”

Jongin sighed. He got up and made his way over to Jongdae. Jongin proceeded to lean against the edge of the banking. His arms were propped against the edge and his reflection in the water was visible. “Maybe you should’ve used a spear. Your technique isn’t precise enough.” Jongin chuckled. “Besides this fish you’re after currently, it’s big enough for you to be able to pierce its flesh and remove the weapon without losing much of the contents.”

“Whatever. I don’t want my spear now. Who says I can’t do it with my bare hands?”

“Maybe this will make you realize that precision and the rest of the aspects that you need for dancing really is our greatest asset.”

“I’m still sticking to my belief in the power of words, thanks.”

“Singers are so biased.”

“Says the dancer.”

They smirked at one another, chuckling.

 

“Lean forward. Slowly. No not like that! Do you remember what I did before?”

Jongdae nodded.

“Then just try your best to recreate it.”

It was going quite well at first, and Jongdae had seemingly picked up the basics quite quickly. Everything after the basics seemed to tumble downhill though, as every single time after successfully pulling the basics, Jongdae pulled a wrong move or made a sound that was too loud, and in such scared the fish away.

“Aish,” Jongin muttered. “You’re hopeless.” He leaned forward so his arms were dangling over the edge of the banking and slipping into the lake. “Scare it this way.”

“What? Hey, no. It’s my fish!”

“Hyung, just do it.”

Jongdae grumbled. “Fine,” he said. He made a loud splash and moved in the direction of the fish, making sure his presence was known and heard. The fish swam faster and fell flat into Jongin’s trap. His hands.

Jongdae wasted no time in snatching the fish out of his younger brother’s hands and cradling it to his chest, now all of a sudden making cooing noises at it.

Jongin snorted.

“You're just jealous," Jongdae said, grinning impishly as the younger, slightly losing focus as his grip on the fish’s tail loosened. This didn’t go unnoticed to Jongin, who as much as he should’ve warned his hyung, found it too amusing to.

Jongin chuckled. “Or you’re just a sore loser.”

“How am I a sore loser if the fish is right—” Jongdae’s eyes widened as he took into account the loss of weight in his hands and the missing fish in his palm. “Oh no. No, no, no. What the—? It was right here a second ago!”

Jongin burst out laughing.

“It’s your fault,” Jongdae said after they’d gotten out of the water.

“Or you really are just a sore loser.” Jongin paused. “Who can’t catch a fish to save his life.”

“Who cares about catching fishes, anyway?” Jongdae groaned. “They’re slimy and gross and they’re not even worth the effort we put into catching them and they take too long to cook and they don’t even taste that good!”

Jongin had begun to blank him out within his first few words.

“Yah!” Jongdae exclaimed. “Are you listening to me?!”

He got no response. So Jongdae decided to take it into his own hands. He tackled Jongin onto the grass and raised one condescending eyebrow as he trapped him into a headlock. “Who’s the loser now?”

Jongin smirked, easily maneuvering himself out of the headlock and gracefully getting up on his feet. “You are.”

“I hate dancers.”

With their one fish, they decided to take another rest. They lay themselves on the grassy banking and closed their eyes for a few moments. It was silent for a while.

Jongin was the first to break it. “Should we go check on the others?” He asked.

Jongdae groaned and rolled onto his side. “They’ve probably not caught much of anything either, why can’t we just go home?”

“Because we don’t have a home.”

Jongdae winced. “Right. You know what I mean, though.”

Jongin hummed. “Okay. I’m going to go check on Yixing and Luhan. You coming?”

“Hyung,” Jongdae reminded.

“What?”

“Yixing and Luhan hyung.”

Jongin rolled his eyes. “Right,” he said. “I’m going to go check on Yixing-hyung and Luhan-hyung. Are you coming?”

Jongdae jumped up. “I bet they’ve caught nothing!”

 

They made their way over to Yixing and Luhan who were lounging on the bank near the lake.

Yixing grinned at them. “Catch anything?” He asked.

Jongdae scowled.

Yixing’s grin faltered. “None at all?” He turned towards Jongin. “How about you?”

Jongin nodded his head. “Only one. But that’s not to say we didn’t try with what we were given. Approximately three fish swam through our end of the lake. I caught one. Jongdae-hyung almost caught one, too.”

“Yeah,” Jongdae muttered. “Almost. But just as I put it in my hands the slimy little freak jumped up and wriggled out of my hands and I swear it bit me!” He huffed. “I hate fish.”

Jongin rolled his eyes at his brother’s blatant exaggeration. But didn’t dispute it, knowing Yixing would probably never let Jongdae live it down had he known the full extent of situation.

“Well Luhan and myself caught five in all, and I was planning on making sure we all got at least two fish each. So you can both come and look for fish at this side of the lake or come help us prepare and share out evenly what we’ve already gotten?”

Luhan then paused. He turned towards Yixing, and blinked. “Ah, as quick and easy as this plan was supposed to be, 'Xing, I’ve just realized that we’ve forgotten to include some very important aspects that we probably should’ve completed beforehand. We’ve caught the fish, but to cook the fish we need fire and to—” He sighed. 

“Light the fire we need wood—which we just ran out of,” Yixing unknowingly interrupted and finished the elder’s sentence as the realization dawned upon him. He then groaned. "Hunger is evidently taking its toll on us. Hell, maybe we should've allowed captain fish hater to take charge for once, would've made for a better hunt than what we're stuck with right now."

"If you had’ve let me be the one in charge we definitely wouldn’t be hunting fish.”

“Yeah,” Jongin added, agreeing. “That and it’d take us four days to get anything done considering how you 'can't work without thinking out loud' and we'd have to sit in a semi circle listening to your ramblings before we're allowed to leave by own own terms and get to work.”

Jongdae grumbled. "Intelligent beings have a lot going on in their heads, you know." He chuckled. "Or _would_ you know?"

"Do you really want to get into this?" Jongin asked, raising an eyebrow. Their social circle was small, they knew that, but another thing they knew was that their level of intelligence trumped a vast majority of people. Prior to the training in practical aspects, theoretical was all they'd consume. Every waking moment they'd dedicate towards it for the better half of their younger years and even now, still had days to weeks where they'd focus more on it than the practical aspects. 

Jongdae shrugged. He knew he was annoyingly insistent about their theoretical knowledge, and in bettering it, but there was one reason in particular he'd doubt himself in that sense, one he knew he'd never let himself live down. He hadn't exactly let Jongin in on it however, and knowing how young his brother was at the time, would he have even been able to recall what had been left behind? Deciding to try not to dwell on it too much, he then nudged the younger and wiggled his eyebrows. “And I’d have the power to direct us to start hunting _you_ , young one, so watch your mouth.”

Jongin was the one who snorted this time around.

Luhan unconsciously skimmed over the brothers’ last sentences. “It's the hunger that's taking its toll, it's not an indicator of incapability on anyone's part. Supplies are scarce, and it's likely just not our season. Though, I think this instance signifies that as individuals we all have points where we’re weak, but together as a team, they’re all accounted for—as some of our strength lies in another’s weakness, and vice versa. It's evened out, neatly.” He let out a gentle laugh. “Besides, all hope is not yet lost." Patting Yixing and Jongdae on the shoulder gently, Jongin out of reach. “We can easily get ourselves some firewood and light the fire, especially if we work as a team.”

Jongin sighed. “Why does everything have to be in teams? Wouldn’t it be quicker if we split up and worked alone?”

Jongdae turned to him. "Honestly, Luhan’s right, it’s much quicker together. And we all back each other up really well. Plus, I know the real reason why you’re complaining. It’s because you know you’ll be working with me like always — and what’s so wrong with working with me, huh?"

Jongin rolled his eyes at his brother. He decided not to reply.

“Do that again and you’ll have no eyes to roll,” Jongdae said as Jongin snorted. “Hey, I’m serious!”

“Sure you are.”

“I am—! I’ll have you know that Kim Jongdae is not a man who makes empty threats—”

Jongin burst into laughter at this. “Then tell me what else your threats for the past _decade_ have been?”

“I _knew_ you were going to ask that! See? You like to pretend I haven’t but I’ve got you all figured out. And obviously they’re threats in process: in development. Gotta perfect them, so I can execute them as precisely as possible.”

“By the logic that none of them are empty threats and the fact that the majority of said threats’ outcome is to kill me, you do realize that I’m only human and can only die once, don’t you? So it's flawed from the get go?”

Luhan cringed. Bickering was a given with the two of them, but the topic of death was never a good route to go down. “Guys,” He then said, interrupting the brother’s soon-to-be bickering. “It’s going to start getting dark soon; we should probably get going—”

Jongdae wasn’t listening and instead interrupted the elder. “—Then I’ll find a way to bring you back each time, and kill you again and again just to prove my point that they’re not empty threats.”

“And how are you going to do that—”

“You want me to show you? Okay, I’ll show you. Like this!” Jongdae then exclaimed as he lunged forward with the intention of tackling his younger, but taller brother to floor. However, just as he moved forward, Luhan noticed he hadn’t tied the belt around his overcoat properly and in such was sticking out like a sore thumb in front of Luhan’s eyes.

Luhan then pulled Jongdae back by his said loosened coat belt and had to push the amused smile off his face as the younger scowled. “Not so fast. Like I said, we should probably get going.”

Jongdae grumbled, but sighed in defeat. “Fine,” he said, grumbling.

Yixing then nodded, coming back into reality. “Jongin does have a point though,” he suddenly said, grabbing the rest of the group’s attention. “If we work alone, at least everyone will have their own job to do and things could be much quicker, too.”

Jongdae snorted, amused by his friend's quirky habit of so easily getting lost inside his own mind. He was the most alert person Jongdae had ever met, yet so easily zoned out when clear threat wasn't on the agenda. “We’ve already moved on from this point of the conversation, 'Xing.”

Yixing blinked. “We have?”

The group nodded in unison as Yixing rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “Oh well—okay. Should we assign jobs and separate then?”

Luhan sighed, disappointingly placing his hands into his pockets. “I still think groups would be the better option, and I'm not just saying that because I don't want to be alone. We're stronger as team.”

“Honestly as much as I like working with you, I think this time we’d be better off utilizing everyone and making them do separate jobs, you know?”

“Why not compromise?” Jongdae suggested. “Say the ones who’d prefer to work in teams can go ahead and work in teams – and then those who’d prefer to work alone can do so. However, I have one condition: the maknae has to stay by my side.”

Jongin’s eyes widened. “But—”

“No buts.”

“Hyung—”

“My only condition is that you’re by my side, alright? Feel free to work by yourself if that’s how you prefer it, just don’t go wandering off alone, you hear me?”

Jongin nodded.

“Promise me.”

“I promise,” the youngest mumbled after a few seconds of silence.

“Okay then it’s decided,” Yixing said. “Who wants to do what?”

“Well I’ve decided I’ll be the one who will clean and gut and prepare the fish to cook… as the brother’s well…” Luhan sent a concerned glance at Jongdae and Jongin, who both avoided direct eye contact. “Obviously we don’t expect them to do that. You get to decide what you want to do, ‘Xing and whatever it is I’ll probably help out as the preparing of the fish can wait a while or be completed at any time, essentially.”

Yixing nodded. “Since we’ve run out of wood to burn I’ll go chop us down some more, if that’s okay with everyone?”

Nobody voiced any complaints so Yixing took it as his answer that they didn’t mind. He turned towards Jongdae and Jongin. “You guys can light a fire once we get the wood, if that’s alright with you both?”

The brothers nodded in unison before they hopped onto their feet. They quickly made their way over to their patch of the forest.

“This really shouldn’t take long, right?”

“Nope,” Jongdae replied cheerily. “Why ever would it?”

 

Jongin perched against the the tree, tapping his fingers on the bark every so often. “Do you think he’ll be able to carry all the wood back by himself?”

“Eh. Probably,” Jongdae replied. “And if he can’t carry them all at once he can easily come back and collect the rest after dropping the few blocks with us.”

“Maybe we should help him?”

“Or maybe we should relax for a while and wait until he specifically asks for our assistance?”

“Hm.”

“Honestly Yixing’s more than capable.”

“I’m not denying he is. It’s just—”

“What is it? Spit it out.”

“I can’t pinpoint why but I have a bad feeling about something.”

Jongdae chuckled it off, though he, himself felt a little worried after his younger brother’s words. “I’m sure it’s nothing. Don’t worry too much about it, okay?”

Jongin nodded. “Okay.”

A few minutes passed. Jongdae and Jongin waited patiently for elder’s return, or in Jongdae’s case, as patiently as he could manage.

Which wasn’t very long at all.

“Aish,” Jongdae muttered, tapping his foot in a frantic manner. “Why is this taking so damn long?”

Jongin was silent for a few minutes. He then turned towards his brother and quirked an eyebrow. “Maybe we should go check on him? See if he needs any assistance?”

“There’s no need,” a singsong voice then said. “I already did.” The owner of the voice soon appeared, carrying blocks of wood with them. Luhan.

Jongin’s eyebrows furrowed together. “I thought you were preparing the fish?”

“Oh Jonginnie, there’s such a thing as multitasking, you know!”

“I know that. Still, isn’t it a little risky to leave freshly cut fish out in the open? Any person or animal could be lingering, starving. It would be like heaven to them.”

“Ah,” the blond boy let out a good natured laugh. “I’m sure it’ll be fine. Don’t worry about it.”

“Shouldn’t we at least make sure, though?”

Luhan then paused, a worry line making its way onto his features. “Maybe you’re right. I should probably go back and check.”

“No, it’s okay,” Jongin said, waving his hand. “I will. You can help Jongdae hyung with the fire for a while.”

“Okay.” Luhan nodded. “If you’re sure?”

Jongin nodded. “Positive.”

“Thank you, Jonginnie.”

After quickly checking up on the fish, Jongin decided to set out on his main reason for leaving Luhan with his brother, which was to find and check up on Yixing. No matter how hard he tried to swallow it back, he couldn’t shake off the feeling that something was going to go wrong. Somewhere. Weird happenings had been on the rise for some time, how long under they reached the camp inhabitants themselves?

It didn’t take long for Jongin to find Yixing and it didn’t take Yixing long before he noticed Jongin standing there. “Hey there pipsqueak.” He beamed at the taller, younger boy.

“You come to help?”

“Yes.”

“Where are the others?”

“I just checked up on the fish. It’s fine. Jongdae and Luhan are attempting to light the fire with the wood you’ve provided.”

The elder chuckled as he sent a playful wink Jongin’s way. “I bet you’re glad I’m not half as prissy about the hyung thing as Jongdae is, huh?”

Jongin groaned.

“He means well. Honestly.”

“I know. It does get overbearing at times, though.”

“You know I always wondered what it’d be like to have an actual blood related brother—or even sibling. How’s it like?”

“Uhh,” the younger paused for a while. “It just is, I guess? I’ve never known anything else, so I can’t tell you what it’s not like. Essentially, it has its good aspects and its bad aspects. He’s always within reaching distance when I need him but he’s also always within reaching distance when I don’t need him. The most bothersome thing I find however is his inability to let me grow up—he just won’t do it. In all honesty though, I can’t imagine life without him.”

“I think he keeps a lot inside,” Yixing then said offhandedly.

This took Jongin by surprise. He was going to laugh at the elder’s joke until he realized the elder’s joke actually wasn’t intended to be a joke at all. “Wait,” he said. “You’re actually being serious?”

“Yes,” Yixing said. “You can’t tell? Jongdae keeps a lot bottled up inside. I think you both do. In completely contrasting ways, though. You avoid facing it, and Jongdae goes on and on about how ‘unhealthy’ that is for you, but his coping mechanism is just as bad, if not worse. Jongdae puts up this front. He hides behind his humor, you know? I’ve known the kid for a long time now and have probably seen every side there is to him. He’s afraid. Like a child that’s been forced to grow up too fast. I should probably be easier on the him, even when joking. He’s been through a lot, I know it's easy to forget with how he is around us, but.” Yixing sighed, feeling a little overwhelmed at the extent of the responsibility he actually felt for Jongdae. Jongin also. But it was different with Jongdae. He was the elder, he'd had responsibility forced upon him at too young an age. Jongin would always be the younger, he'd always have the older brother figure in his life, but Jongdae lacked this. And at times, seemed as if he really would benefit from it. "I see it, Jongin. He hides it well, but I see it."

Jongin listened carefully to every word Yixing said, letting it sink in. “I should probably be easier on him, too. Sometimes as the younger brother you forget that the older brother has problems of his own… and how much he’s sacrificed for me, I realize it. All of it. I’m just terrible at talking about these things, you know? It never comes out right. It's not something we really had chance to do... to get good at.”

“Definitely. In all honestly we don’t exactly have the right setting or situation to make such talks a common occurrence, here either.” Yixing then blinked, turning towards Jongin, realizing he had a couple of things he wanted the youngest of their group to know, too. A few things he wouldn't be able to discuss in their usual circumstances. “Also Jongin?” 

“Yes?”

“You’re not doing anything wrong. You’ve also been through difficult things yourself. I don’t think anyone’s ever directly told you this, but it’s okay to make mistakes, you know? It’s okay to be young. Jongdae doesn’t expect you to be able to be able to see the pain through the humor act and he doesn’t expect you to call him out on it, he’d probably resent it more than anything. He’d probably feel like he’d failed you if you noticed. He doesn’t expect you to be able to fix the broken and emotional side of things if he knows that’s not your forte. He wants you to be you. He wants you to be his baby brother. To him that’s who you are. That’s who you’re always going to be. The younger, the one he needs to protect. To provide for. It doesn’t matter how much taller you get than him, how stronger, independent. He’s always going to see you as the tiny little child he had to wrap in a blanket and escape the village with. To build an entirely new life in a completely foreign new setting with. The one he was two years older than, but had to act as though he was twenty-two years older than for the majority of your younger years. There are things that happened that I know neither of you have come to terms with, and it may stay like that for a long time and you know what? If I’ve learned anything from Luhan’s advice over the years, that’s perfectly okay. You’ll figure things out together. You’ll make mistakes together. You’ll have good days and bad days. You’ll have days where you’ll hate each other, and you’ll have days where you’re each other’s best friends. But the one thing people can’t take away from you? The fact that you’re brothers and when all else fails, you’ll look out for one another and have each other’s backs regardless.”

Jongin nodded, a little taken aback, though evidently thankful. “I—um, thank you.”

“Don’t worry about it. Should we go back? I’ve probably got enough wood here to burn for the whole night.”

 

“Ah, actually,” Yixing said halfway on the journey back to where Luhan and Jongdae would be. “Let’s go check on the fish first, yes?”

“Are you sure?”

Yixing quirked an eyebrow. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I just, ah, never mind.” He forced a smile. “Let’s go?”

Making their way out of the right hand corner of the forest in which they stood, they reached the clearing in which the line of the trees of the right hand corner opened and made a path that led towards the river and the grassy banking. Which was exactly where they’d just caught the fish and where Luhan had kept the fish, which now in retrospect, confused Jongin. Why hadn’t the elder picked up the fish and brought it with him when coming to check up on Jongdae and himself? Perhaps he forgot. Jongin couldn’t exactly blame the guy, especially if the fish was safe and—

Jongin skipped a step, freezing in place at the sight that greeted his eyes. They weren’t very far off the banking, but were still far enough that they could turn back at any time and completely avoid bumping into the huge animal that was currently looming over the spot where the fish lay and casting its huge shadow there. Jongin had been taught a lot about bears and how to handle them, but somehow all that previous knowledge had slipped out of his mind at a real life could-be encounter with one.

Knowing they should probably back off for the time being and let the bear take what it wanted and leave, also knowing that the elder also had a reckless streak, much like his own brother did; something he swore the forest did to them. As helpful as it was for an actual fight, reckless streaks in these kinds of situations were nothing short of deadly. So the best option was to avoid alerting Yixing to the bear’s presence and figuring out a way to distract him from noticing or picking up on its presence and the fact that it was seconds away from gorging on their hard earned—in Yixing’s case—fish.

But he was also put on the spot and Jongin didn’t work well with being put on the spot. Having no time to think it through, what was he supposed to do? How would he distract Yixing without making it obvious, or sounding awkward about it? — Where was Jongdae when he needed him?

Yixing was too busy humming along to an unknown tune even to pay any attention to Jongin. Which Jongin was glad for, because had he have paid any attention, he would’ve more than likely been able to see the dilemma going on in the younger’s head as it painted over his facial expression.

“Uh, Yixing-hyung?” Perhaps it was added for respect, for advantage, for the element of surprise. Jongin actually wasn’t so sure himself, but it soon got the elder’s attention.

“What is it?” He asked.

Jongin froze. “Aish, uh…” He paused. “Have we got enough firewood? Of course we do--you even told me so, of course. But honestly hyung, have you checked the wood for impurities and moss or bugs?”

Yixing’s eyebrows furrowed together. “Why would I do that?” He chuckled at the younger, taller boy. “That was an eccentric thing for you to say. Are you feeling okay?” He angled his body to leave and was seconds away from turning around before Jongin latched his hands onto Yixing’s shoulders and maneuvered him in the opposite direction, the path leading towards the trees in the right-hand corner of the forest.

“Ah! Ah,” Jongin said, “Let’s just go check, yeah?”

“But why? We’re just burning it, what’s the point?”

Jongin puffed out a sigh of frustration, before his eyes widened. “Actually,” he said. “I’ve actually been planning on making us some wood things to eat with.”

“You mean cutlery? Eating utensils?”

Jongin quirked an eyebrow, having no idea what Yixing was referring to.

Yixing chuckled. “It’s what the ‘wood things’ we eat with are called. They have their own name. Luhan taught me. He’s really good at the cooking, ever since we met.”

“Right. Well, yeah. That was my intention with you checking the wood for the impurities.”

“Then why didn’t you just say so?”

“Should we put the wood down and check it, then?” Jongin asked, sending a surreptitious glance over the shorter boy’s shoulder. The bear was still there. Realizing the heightened chance of Yixing turning around and noticing the bear had they stayed and placed all the wood blocks down between the clearing and the opening of the forest, Jongin suggested a hopefully subtle, “How about we go further up ahead so we’re not angled awkwardly when checking the wood?”

“Sure,” Yixing said as he sped up his pace. “There’ll be more room that way, too.” They ended up back where they’d chopped down the wood and had begun to inspect the blocks of wood. Yixing hadn’t found any impurities as of yet, but when the instance came that he did, he put his hand in his pocket to pull out his knife, but only came up with empty air. “Goddammit!”

The sudden noise made Jongin jump. “What is it?”

“I must’ve dropped my knife further back. It’s not here.”

Jongin winced. Knowing he couldn’t risk them turning back, he turned to Yixing and instead offered the older boy his own knife.

Yixing looked offended. “Are you serious?”

Jongin saw no problem with it. “Sure.”

“No,” the older boy said stubbornly.

“Why not?”

The elder crossed his arms over his chest. “Jongin, I thought I’d taught you both better than this. Your knife is yours and yours alone. You don’t share it with anyone. It’s accustomed to you, made for you and—and well—” He paused, looking embarrassed. "Don't make me say it."

“And what?” Jongin prodded.

“Well, y-you have this sort of bond with it.”

Jongin couldn’t hold back his incredulous bout of laughter. “I have a bond with a knife?”

“Shut up,” Yixing muttered. “Why do you have to make it sound so ridiculous. But honestly, yes. We all do. It's accustomed to you and your personal fighting style and it's always supposed to be on hand. And aish, how could I allow myself to lose it like that?”

“One time wouldn’t hurt, right? Beside you’re not just anyone, you’re Yixing and I trust you. So here, use it.”

“Jongin as flattered as I am, I’m going to have to refuse. These knives I custom made for us all and they’re compatible with us individually, alright? They’re not going to work as well for others as they do for us and just—let’s go find my knife okay? It can’t be lost. I’ve just dropped it. I’ll find it.”

Jongin sighed. Seeing no choice but to have to follow along. He just hoped there wouldn’t be any need to get close enough to the clearing that the bear would be within their vision range.

Yixing had been flitting around, he must’ve checked under every stone and corner of the patch of the forest they currently stood. He sighed, mouth turning downward. “It’s not there. I must’ve dropped it further on ahead. Probably at the clearing. I had it before we reached the clearing so it must be there.”

Jongin stalled. “Yixing wait—”

It was too late. Yixing had already sped up, swiftly making his way towards the clearing and the path that led down towards the river where Jongin knew the bear was. Jongin sped up himself, trying to catch up to him. When he did he tried to use his height to his advantage, trying to get in front of the shorter boy and block his path.

“Hyung,” he said.

Yixing’s eyes widened and his head snapped up towards Jongin. “Did you just hyung me for the second time today?” He turned around placed a hand on Jongin’s forehead. “Are you feeling okay? You know if you’re sick I have so homemade medicine back where we’re camping.” Before Jongin had the chance to stop him, Yixing turned back around. He froze as his eyebrows furrowed. “Wait a second—”

“Did you find your knife?” Jongin was sure Yixing couldn’t see the bear nor even the river from the angle they were in; they were in between trees and the leaves should’ve been blocking the sight of the bear.

“No but I swear I saw something that wasn’t Luhan or Jongdae in the corner of my eye near where we left the fish. I specifically remember placing it near the canopy where the sun shines through at certain hours of the day, Luhan’s said countless times before that there’s something special about when we leave it out in the sun and for a while and then place the herbs on top of it. Apparently it helps with the flavoring and he prefers to flavor it before cooking because by our experience it tastes better that way.”

“So that’s why he didn’t bring it with him when he came to give us some of the wood blocks earlier?”

“Yes.” Yixing laughed. “Do you think we’re that idiotic to leave freshly caught food out in the open without a reason?”

Noticing that Yixing had seemed to distract himself, Jongin was planning to continue the topic of the flavors and food even though he had no idea about them whatsoever. It was still miles better than Yixing catching on and realizing that there was actually a bear within close vicinity, planning on devouring their dinner. But Jongin thought too soon if Yixing’s next words were anything to go by.

“But I swear—” Yixing gritted his teeth. “I saw something for a split second then. I did.”

“I’m sure it was nothing—”

“Wait a minute.” Yixing snapped his head up towards Jongin, as everything pieced together. “You sneaky little shit!” He said. “You knew since the beginning that something was out there, didn’t you? That’s why you’ve been acting out of character and calling me hyung and—they were all distraction tactics weren’t they. And honestly, well played. But Jongin, what is it? What’s out there? Tell me.”

Jongin was silent for a while. “A bear,” he finally said.

“Mother fucking—” Yixing’s eyes blazed. “Not a damn chance. I worked so hard for those damn fish, if it thinks it can randomly stop by and steal it all, nearing winter season or not, it’s got another thing coming.” He was just about to set off before Jongin grabbed onto his sleeve and pulled him back. "Do you know what bears do with the fish around this time? Nibble at it and leave chunks uneaten and it's such a damn waste, when we're actually going to salvage the produce. Go me for making their lives a whole lot easier, huh? Whilst they throw us to an almost literal brink of starvation--"

“Yah, hyung,” he said, finding it difficult to keep up with Yixing's pace. He was certain the elder had accidentally implemented his native language into his rant at points too. “Can’t we just forget about it?—honestly, it’s not worth the risk.”

“What do you mean it’s not worth the risk? That mother fucker is stealing our food!”

“I know but—”

“And we haven’t eaten in days! You’re seriously going to stand there and suggest we do nothing about this? Why?”

“Because being hungry is better than being dead?”

Yixing scoffed. “It’s not going to kill me.”

Jongin was the one to scoff this time.

Yixing’s eyes then fell to the knife handle in Jongin’s pocket. “Give me your knife.”

“No,” Jongin said.

“You said you trusted me. Give me your knife.”

“No.”

“Why not? You only trust me when it suits you?”

“It’s not about whether I trust you or not, it’s about the fact that I’m not letting you get yourself killed. It’s miles bigger than we are, a million times stronger and it’ll tear you to shreds. Let’s just forget about the food and sneak away without alerting it to our presence or angering it.”

“I worked too hard to get that fish and I refuse to go any more days without eating.”

“Now’s not the time to be a stubborn idiot Yixing—”

“I’m not. Who knows how many more days it’d take for us to actually find food if we lose these fishes. There’s a larger probability of us dying from starvation than bear attacks if we let it get away so just—just give me your knife—”

“No.”

“I’ll take it by force if I have to.”

“I won’t let you.”

Yixing reached forward with the intention of taking Jongin’s knife, but Jongin moved out of the way just before he could. “You even said that the rest of the knives aren’t as compatible with you as your own, what’s the point?”

“Well obviously the fact that I currently can’t find mine!”

“You’re not killing the bear. Or attempting. It’ll kill you first.”

Without warning, Yixing tackled Jongin to the ground, and they hit the ground with a thud. Yixing reached out to grab the knife but once again Jongin dodged this attack, it went on for a few minutes with them rolling around until Yixing pinned Jongin’s arms above his head with one hand and used the other to slide the knife out of Jongin’s pocket.

He then jumped up onto his feet. He saw an advantage he could use to buy himself time and so pushed Jongin out of the way, rolling him down a hill that led to a small ditch—one he knew he wouldn’t injure Jongin by rolling him down. After he’d done this he winked down at the younger boy. “No matter how good you’re getting at all of this, remember it was I who taught you and your brother everything you know.” Then he sped off in the direction of the bear.

“Shit, shit, shit,” Jongin said, after he’d stood up. By the time it took him to get out of the ditch and back onto the forest’s path, he knew Yixing would be well on his way towards the bear’s direction.

He sprinted towards the opening of the clearing and could make out the scene at the river standing there, which involved Yixing slowly creeping up on a huge bear. Jongin chewed on his lip. He had to get him out, he had to help him. He had to do something. Why was Yixing being such a reckless idiot?

Just as he was making advancement over towards Yixing and the bear, a loud ear-splitting roar sounded. His eyes zoomed in to where the huge creature was, and the panic froze him in place as it grabbed Yixing and threw him to the ground.

And that’s when he saw it.

Blood.


	4. Easier To Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ou_aTbmz7zY

It felt as though time had stood still for Jongin.

The inevitability of a situation such as this taking place, the inevitability of Jongin being placed in such situation... it'd always been something that had been in the backs of his mind, nagging thoughts worming their way in when given chance. It was definitely something he'd taken into account, something he'd certainly attempted to prepare himself for.

But was aware that if a reality of such a situation were to unfold, regardless of how much he may have planned his way out in his mind, envisioned an end result in which the worst of the situation was defused, there was no way of guaranteeing that it would go as planned, not with elements such as Yixing's free will being mixed in, and a constant factor of unpredictability, a factor they'd never escape whilst living in a forest.

This kind of situation was one that had to be dealt with as it was taking place, and Jongin had never excelled at being placed on the spot. 

He'd tried to stop Yixing, tried to distract the elder, covet -- to the best of his ability -- the presence of the bear. But once the elder had his mind set on something, there was no stopping him. This was something Jongin had been well aware of, for as long as he'd known the elder.

Hence why Jongin had to resort to physical measures to stop the situation escalating, and even then -- as the elder had said -- he was the one who trained them in such aspects. He knew everything the brothers knew and more.

Though he'd always known, purposely avoided acting in such a manner himself, it was in that instance that Jongin realized just how deadly situational recklessness could be, especially in their neck of the woods. One simple mistake, a tiny miscalculation, one thoughtless action could be the very difference between life and death.

Jongin didn’t exactly understand the reasoning, either.

Was the fish that important to Yixing? Sure the elder prided himself on his ability to survive and valued every last scrap of his own meals and even if there weren’t a lot of fish in the shallower end of the lake, there were always other animals looming around, so it wasn’t as though they'd get to the point of starvation.

Were the fish -- utterly replaceable in the grand scheme -- really worth damage of or loss of limbs and to a greater extent, his life? Did his pride matter so much to him that he'd literally take on an animal triple his size? He understood that Yixing was hungry--they all were--but they'd survived harsher winters. They'd gone longer periods of time without food.

And regardless of whether they lost the fish or not, Jongin had a much more important task at hand -- ensuring Yixing's own livelihood. Snapping out of his momentary paralysis, Jongin edged closer, only to freeze back in place at the realization of what else he'd be faced with.

Blood.

He'd caught a glimpse prior and whose blood it was Jongin didn’t know for certain, he just knew that of all things in the world, for as long as he could remember, even the thought of the thick sticky red substance made his stomach turn, and send ice-like shivers through his spine. Just the thought had the ability to make a cold sweat break out on his skin, paralyse him to the spot.

Jongin wasn’t a person who was struck by fear often, but in the instance that he was, it seemed he was petrified.

It was more than just a fear, had to be more than just an aversion, if even the thought could draw such a reaction from him.

Seeing blood with his own two eyes magnified the fear and made it hard for him to regulate his breathing pattern, to get a hold of his mind, to unfreeze his limbs and move.

But smelling blood, that did everything previously mentioned and more to Jongin. And it would eventually get to at point where it would become increasingly difficult for him to deny the urge to curl into a ball and rock back and forth, to bury his head into his hands and disintegrate into the essence of the ground beneath him.

Everything was a threat at that stage and nothing would feel real to him. But he’d have no way of escaping, not by that point.

It’d be like he was being tied down to a chair with steel chains locked at his hands and feet, with someone forcefully holding his eyes open and laughing manically as they forced him to watch and hear everything Jongdae had tried so hard to shield him from all of those years ago.

And that was the part that bothered Jongin the most. He hadn’t even witnessed it to the same extent Jongdae did, and if his reaction to blood was this extreme—if the simple sight of blood affected him this much—he could only begin to imagine what it did to his older brother.

Wanting so badly to help Yixing, and at the same time wanting to throttle him for not listening the first time around… but in a life and death situation, did that even matter anymore?

He wouldn't lose Yixing over a damn fish. He just wouldn't. And regardless of how much blood traumatized him, ignoring the gruesome history he had with the substance, this was Yixing.

He had to help him.

So why wouldn’t his limbs move?

He felt utterly useless.

Pathetic.

Yixing needed help. Jongin needed help.

They both needed help, for entirely different reasons. They both needed assistance, for entirely different reasons.

As soon as possible.

But who from…?

Jongdae was just as bad, if not worse than Jongin with blood and his reaction would be the exact same, if not even worse, and for Luhan…

But that was when it hit him.

Luhan.

Jongin needed Luhan.

 

Why didn’t he realize before? He wanted to kick himself.

All hope wasn’t lost, and Yixing wasn’t going to die, not if Jongin could notify Luhan and get him to help the elder boy as soon as possible. Luhan wasn’t scared of blood in slightest, he didn’t flinch at the sight and the color, nor the smell, nor the texture.

Blood was just blood to Luhan and it had no underlying meaning, no nasty stories attached to it. Luhan was also perfectly fine when being put on the spot. He didn’t exactly enjoy it either, but he didn’t feel like his throat would close up and his palms begin to sweat at not being able to take a step back and run things over in his head before taking action.

Jongin needed Luhan and he needed him now.

So with that thought in mind he found it in himself to force his limbs to move forward and before he knew it he was breaking out into a sprint -- which turned into a run -- towards the patch of the forest where the four had currently perched and set camp up, approaching the two older boys who were sitting down.

The lighter haired one smiling happily and nodding along to what the darker haired was saying.

They seemed to have gone off track and distracted themselves from their original goal, but that wasn’t what Jongin was concerned with at that moment in time.  
Soon enough the two older boys were alerted to the tallest and youngest member of their group’s presence. The lighter haired boy grinned up at Jongin and sent him a warm ‘welcome back’. The darker haired boy, by contrast, only scowled, evidently peeved at something—or someone.

Jongin didn’t have time for that, however.

Jongin was completely panic stricken and his mind was all over the place, a hap-hazardous mess. He couldn’t string together a coherent thought or sentence for what felt aeons, but was likely only minutes, if not seconds.

With his hair in a disarray, a rip in his shirt where Yixing had grabbed him and rolled him over into a ditch not ten minutes prior, clothes tattered and muddied, he looked a sure contrast to the boy who'd set off to check on the fish.

Luhan was the first one to notice. The elder’s eyebrows furrowed.

"Jongin?" He asked. "Are you okay?"

Jongin didn’t miss a beat. “I—  _I’m_ fine. But Yixing isn’t.”

A simultaneous chorus of “what” followed from the two elder boys.

Jongin was still finding it hard to string together a coherent sentence but got out what best he could, “I,” he took a deep breath. “He’s been attacked.”

They both froze.

"W-what?" Luhan rasped, slowly getting up onto his feet. "Attacked? By who—? By what—? Jongin you’re not making any sen—"

"A bear came to our fish and was going to steal it and I—I tried really hard to distract him from the bear and from seeing it but it was no use because he eventually did and I tried to stop him from chasing after it but he wouldn’t listen and then I—I saw blood—and—he needs help." He sent Luhan a pained glance. "Luhan you’re the only one who can help right now and I— please. Please go help him.”

Luhan stalled. He seemed really nervous, though he tried to not show it outwardly. He’d began pacing sometime between Jongin saying that Yixing was in trouble. He felt torn. Did he rush straight over to Yixing and forget about Jongin?—Or was he to find a way to quickly make sure Jongin was okay, too, before making his way over to Yixing? They both needed help. But for entirely different reasons. Luhan didn’t have time to weigh the pros and cons out, and decided he’d try his best to multi-task. Or at least make sure Jongin was okay before running over to Yixing.

"Wait," he said. "Jongin."

Jongin glanced up.

"Are _you_ okay?"

Jongin was taken aback. “I-I,” he stuttered. He didn’t understand. He couldn’t wrap his head around why Luhan was asking him that when Yixing…? “Luhan we don’t have time—Yixing—”  
  
Luhan sighed, allowing his arms to flop by his side and his shoulders deflate. He then made his way over to Jongin. “I know,” he said as he led him over to a smooth rock with no sharp edges. “Yixing’s going to be fine, I promise. I know what I’m doing and I can help him, all right? He’s a lot stronger than he looks. You can’t forget about yourself, Jongin. I know you saw something awful back there, and I want you to recognize that you’re not at fault. You didn’t cause this and you’re not in trouble for not being able to help Yixing. Jongdae-hyung is here with you right now and he’s going to look after you, so just sit down and take a deep breath, okay? Everything’s going to be okay. I’ll come back as soon as I can to check on you.”

Jongin nodded. “You don’t have to. Check on me, I mean.” He began to shiver and Luhan soon realized Jongin’s hands were also shaking. “Y-Yixing needs h-help,” Jongin’s teeth were chattering. “More than me.”

"Take a deep breath."

"L-Luhan—-" Jongin was incredulous. _"Yixing."_

"Shh, I’ll be right on it." Luhan began to look around their camp for a blanket of sorts but soon realized there wasn’t a good one within reaching distance, and he wasn’t going to use a moss blanket, especially if it was insect ridden. He then looked down and sighed out of relief, realizing the clothing he had on top of his shirt would suffice just as well, if not better. So he took off the wool clothing piece, and quickly wrapped it around Jongin’s shoulders. "If you need to throw up, throw up. If you need to cry, cry. Jongdae, can you please take over?"

Jongdae nodded but the darkened look in his eyes didn’t falter.

"Please go easy on him. No one could’ve predicted this outcome. Jongdae, no one." With that, Luhan sped off in the direction of Yixing.

 

"Luhan’s wrong."

"Hm?"

"I did predict this outcome.”

That seemed to shock Jongin back into reality. “No, you didn’t.”

"Maybe not specifically but I warned you. I told you. If you had’ve just listened to me we wouldn’t even be in this predicament right now.”

"Is that what this is? You’re angry because of a stupid promise I made about—"

"—Not leaving my side? Hell yes I am. We had an agreement, and you broke it. And now look where we are. Yixing could be dead.”

"But that doesn't even make sense?" Jongin wore a perplexed expression. "Staying by your side would've only escalated this, meaning Yixing would've noticed the bear's presence even quicker had I not been there."

"Fact of the matter is we had an arrangement. An arrangement that was working perfectly fine until _you_ broke it. Purposely going against what I requested, knowing the kind of danger that puts you in. Had we just gone with Luhan's initial plan in sticking together as a group we wouldn't be in this predicament, damn it."

Jongin wasn't sure he could rebut Jongdae's latter statement, so didn't. "If we're getting into technicalities, Luhan broke the 'arrangement' long before I did! Besides, he left the fish out in the open, left it to fester in the sun. You do know what that does to meat, don’t you? I was just trying--" Truthfully Jongin had been trying to calm the nauseating feeling that had been bubbling within him that afternoon, assure himself he was simply over thinking it. But he wasn't. The bad vibe he'd felt had proven to be correct. He didn't know why, he didn't know how, he just that something _did_ go wrong and had he not been there...  
  
He shivered.  
  
"Luhan had said he’d help whoever out, surely you heard that? You _specifically_ promised to stay by my side, and did you stick to that? No. And the leaving the fish out thing, he said it helped with the flavoring. And that’s exactly my point! You said you were going to go check on the fish but you didn’t, did you? That wasn’t even your intention, was it? You went to find Yixing. And you didn’t come straight back like you promised."

"How the hell is leaving fish out in the sun--which hadn't yet set--going to help with the flavoring?—Granted, I know it's nearing winter and I know it's still a cold day, but the sun was out at the time and It’s only going to make the meat go bad. How can you not know that?" Jongin then sighed, feeling frustration bubble within him. Had the three of them consumed a bad batch of water or something? Jongdae being more angry at Jongin being in Yixing's vicinity in the time of the situation than by his side, Luhan leaving fish out in the open, directly under the sun's rays, Yixing willingly throwing himself in the firing line for a handful of replaceable fish.

"The sun was setting anyway, I don’t see the big deal. And besides, stop trying to change the subject. Luhan knows a lot more about cooking than we do, he knows what he’s doing. Perhaps there was another reason all together as to why he didn’t bring the fish back. The problem here lies with you.”

"Wait—" Jongin paused, astounded. "Are you saying it’s my fault Yixing got attacked?"

Jongdae clucked his tongue. "Essentially."

A tense silence passed between them. "How, exactly?” His eyes narrowed. “Do you even know the full story here or are you just jumping to conclusions like you always do?”

Jongdae pursed his lip. “Well if you’d enlighten me, I wouldn’t have to jump to conclusions now would I?”

Jongin nodded. “Right. You’re right. I, uhh…” He chewed on his lip. “It wasn’t intentional, I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I—”

"Just stop with the excuses and get to it, please."

"Right. I know I said I’d go check up on the fish, and I did. But Jongdae." He paused and quickly amended his mistake, "hyung."

Jongdae tried not to let the softening of his features show at Jongin’s amendment, instead crossing his arms over his chest and raising an eyebrow. “Go on.”

"I’d had this nagging feeling about something that entire day, and no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t shake it off and Yixing was alone… and plausibly, seeing as the rest of us were very close together—" He stopped, running a jittery hand through his hair.

Jongdae sighed and then nodded. “So you thought it had something to do with Yixing?”

"I didn’t know who it had something to do with, or even if it was to do with someone at all. I just couldn’t shake off the feeling that something bad was about to happen and—checking on Yixing at the time just seemed like the best bet."

"So what happened when you went to him, then?"

"Nothing out of the ordinary, at first. We talked. You know, just general conversation."

Jongdae snorted. “And you don’t find that out of the ordinary? When do you ever just talk to someone for general conversation?—You always have to have a reason.”

Jongin blinked. "I like Yixing. I enjoy talking to him, too. It’s always easy with him and I find I can tell him a lot of things, that I don’t think I’d be able to tell other people, I guess. Not that we know any. Nonetheless."

Jongdae was quiet for a while. “Right,” he finally said quietly. “…Of course. Carry, uh, on then, I guess.”

"I just helped him with chopping down some more wood. Then we were all set to carry it back to burn it. But in that instance Yixing decided he wanted to check on the fish himself, even though I’d specifically made it clear I already had. Turns out my weird feeling about things was only going to be proven correct by what I saw next."

"The bear, right?"

"Yes. The bear. So seeing this, I turned to Yixing and asked if he’d checked over the wood for impurities and that if he hadn’t, we should."

"What?" Jongdae’s eyebrows furrowed together. "Why would you do that?—Why would Yixing do that?—Especially if you were going to burn it straight after? Who cares about impurities?"

"It was a distraction tactic. The bear, Jongdae."

"…Oh."

"Exactly. So then I told him I wanted to use the wood to make some of those things we use to eat with—which wasn’t even a lie, because clearly we’re lacking on some of them."

"You mean eating utensils?"

"Yeah. Eating utensils." He then stopped. "Also why do you know they’re called that, too? Why am I the only one who doesn’t? Did I miss the eating utensil protocol lesson?"

"You tend to zone out sometimes. I have no idea what goes on in your head on the best of days, don't ask me." Jongdae seemed to be mellowing, the tense demeanor lessening.

"Yixing was fine with this and even asked me why I hadn’t mentioned it earlier…"

"I’m surprised at how long it took you, too, you sneaky little shit."

"I was panicking. I’m not good at being put on the spot."

Jongdae snorted. “Tell me about it. So what happened next?”

"Well we, uh, went further up the forest to make ourselves some room to work. And then Yixing realized he’d dropped his knife."

"What?"

"He realized he’d dropped his knife…"

"No. I heard that bit. But, what? Why and how, Jongin?—It’s not possible."

Jongin raised an eyebrow. “I’m supposed to explain it to you? I don’t know. He said he must’ve dropped it. Sometimes he takes on more than he can carry and in turn drops things, so…”

"Not his knife."

"Well he did this time."

"But no, because he wouldn’t drop his knife, Jongin."

"But he did, so…"

"Someone must’ve taken it. Yixing may be careless with certain things on occasion but not with his knife. He’d guard it with his life."

"Who else would’ve taken it?"

"Are you sure it wasn’t you?"

Jongin’s eyebrows furrowed together. “Why would I take his knife? When I had my own, right there with me?”

"Are you sure it was your knife you had with you? Did you even take your knife when you went to check on Yixing? Mix ups like that can easily take place, you know."

"Pretty sure it was my knife, yes. Besides, he wouldn’t even take the knife from me at first. He’d said that sharing knives wasn’t an option, and that we, uh…"

"We, what?"

"We apparently have a unique bond with our knives. Each and every one of us."

Jongdae laughed. “I'll have to keep that in mind. What happened after that?”

"Well we went to look for his knife, to no avail. He then came to conclusion that he must’ve dropped it further up by the clearing, and obviously the bear would be visible from the clearing and so I tried really hard to distract him—but he still noticed the bear from the corner of his eye and that’s when things went astray and, uh."

"So why didn’t you try to stop him?"

"That’s the thing. I did. I definitely tried.”

Jongdae was confused. “Then why didn’t you succeed? You’re taller than him and generally stronger, so?”

"Fair enough point, and honestly that’s what I was thinking at the time. But this is Yixing. He did train us, after all. He knows everything we know and more. I couldn’t overpower him in his element, neither when he went on this reckless 'let's fight a bear' rampage."

"So you’re saying you just let him run off after the damn thing?"

Jongin shook his head. “Not at all. He tackled me down and rolled me down into a ditch and bought himself time.”

Jongdae gave an impressed nod. "Okay. And after that?"

Jongin was the one confused this time. “After that?”

"Yes." Jongdae was beginning to get impatient. "What happened after that?"

"I—uh, I got out of the ditch and made a run towards the clearing just in time to see the bear throw Yixing to the ground and." Jongin winced, his eyes screwing closed as the memory seemed to replay in his mind. "Then as I made my way over… that’s when I saw blood."

It was quiet for a minute or two. When Jongin reopened his eyes he was met by the impassive face of his older brother, who didn’t even blink. Nothing was detectable on his features.

"I still think you’re in the wrong," Jongdae finally said, impassively. There wasn't a lot of conviction to the words, but enough to stun Jongin into silence.

"I get that it was blood, Jongin. But in that kind of situation you need to be able to disregard it. Whether or not it is blood. Someone’s life depends on it.” These words sounded rehearsed, as though Jongdae was repeating something he'd heard a thousand and one times before, almost as if he was on autopilot, but it was something that went amiss to Jongin.

"What?" Jongin asked, and for the first time in a long time started to feel anger prickle within him. "You expect me to be able to forget that blood makes me freeze in place and is our greatest weakness and then tell me it’s my duty to save Yixing—who went after the bear against my better judgement and purposely risked his own life, willingly? No matter what I tried to say to him? To the point where he legitimately tackled me to the ground and rolled me into a ditch to make sure I couldn't chase after him straight away? Are you serious? I _tried_ to save him, Jongdae!" He took a deep, shaky breath. "I tried. But it failed. And it failed again. So getting Luhan was the best course of action in this situation. Had you and I have to break this apart amidst a bloodbath... we're literally no help whatsoever. You know that."

"In that kind of situation, yes. Evidently what Yixing did was reckless but you were the only one with him at that present moment in time and had we not been here and had you not snapped out of it when you did, he’d probably be dead right now. And that would be on your hands. So, okay, go ahead. Tell me again once more how it’s better to work alone, to not have backup within reaching distance, huh? Can you back it up this time, little brother?—Or are you finally realizing that what I’ve been saying all along isn’t complete bullshit and I know what I’m talking about, finally?”

"What you’ve been saying all along?"

"You’re not prepared enough. You don’t have enough experience. You have weaknesses—weaknesses that impact on your ability and performance, and can endanger yours and those around you, lives. Just like the rest of us. You cannot survive a life like this on your own. You absolutely cannot. None of us can. It’s not possible, it’s not about whether you prefer it or not. What if I hadn’t been here? What if Luhan and I had trailed up further along somewhere and when you came back to an empty forest area, what would you have done?" Jongdae shook his head. "But do you ever listen to me, Jongin?"

Jongin kept silent. He just stared at his older brother the same way his elder brother had just stared back at him not even a minute ago. Empty and impassively.

Jongdae scoffed, anger finally making its way into both his eyes and his tone of voice. “Evidently you don’t.”

"I just don’t understand why you’re blaming me for this? I told him not to do it, I told him not to go."

"Just like I told you not to leave my side. But did you listen to me then?"

"Are you seriously bringing it back to that?"

"It seems I have to. That I’ll have to continuously bring it back to that. Until it finally gets through to your head that you’re not invincible and you need us around.”

"I never said I didn’t! Or even that I was invincible—I don’t—"

"—That when I tell you to stay by my side, you stay by my side.”

"This is ridiculous—"

"No, do you know what is ridiculous, though? The fact that you had to come get Luhan for help when things got too hard for you, when you were basically the one who pushed Yixing after the damn thing in the first place! And on top of all of this how you’ll still swear that you can handle all of this and that you’re not a child, and that you’re completely fine by yourself."

Jongin scoffed out of disbelief. “Right, okay. Because I totally possessed his body and made him chase after the bear, right?”

"Now’s not the time to be sarcastic. Yixing could be dead."

"Yixing’s not dead."

"And how do you know that for sure, did you even stay long enough to check? Hell did you even get close enough to check? Or was the blood too much for you?" Jongdae purposely made sure to say it in the most condescending tone he was capable of.

Jongin’s eye twitched, but his words sounded tired. He sounded tired. “You have no right to be so condescending to me. Especially about blood. You’re the exact same.”

"I may not be able to deal with it either, but I sure as hell would’ve tried my best had I been the one in your position just then. And I wouldn’t have let it overpower my mind. As in, I would’ve helped Yixing."

"You say that now, but I thought the exact same thing. It’s all different when you’re actually faced with it, huh? But then again, what would you know about that?" More than he did, Jongin knew that for sure. But once the words were out, there was no way to take them back.

Jongdae’s face became impassive. “More than you’ll ever realize.”

It was quiet for a while. A long while.

Tension was running high and both brothers would send each other dark looks. Challenging glares, emotionless expressions. They bickered a lot, that was common knowledge, but neither had ever really offended the other to the extent just then.

And neither had ever really gotten so into an argument.

They bickered a lot, but one would always make it clear that it was playful, not entirely serious. This time, neither did.

Perhaps it was the stress of the situation, the serious of the situation that was making his brother act like this and perhaps Jongin should’ve recognized that, but he wasn’t going to sit back and allow his older brother to throw insult after insult at him and blame him for something he had no control over, even if it resulted in him being purposely difficult himself.

Jongdae didn’t seem to want to back down either, if his next words were anything to go by. “I guess more than anything,” Jongdae piped up, catching the younger’s attention instantly. “I guess I’m just surprised at your lack of… reaction. Minus the blood thing, did you even bat an eyelid? Why aren’t you crying and screaming? Why aren’t you freaking out? Yixing could be on his deathbed and you’re so… calm about it. If it weren’t for the blood thing, would you have even reacted at all?”

Jongin blinked. “Why aren’t you?” He countered quickly.

"I like how you avoided the rest of what I said." Jongin only narrowed his eyes at Jongdae’s words. Jongdae eventually sighed. "And exactly. Why aren’t I, why isn’t Luhan? Are we expecting this? Our closest friend could be on his deathbed and we’re here arguing? We’re not freaking out because he could be dying, hell I think a part of us already expects it, a bit? For any of us, at any point. Don’t you find that fucked up?"

Jongin was beginning to get really confused at his brother. One minute he was being extremely spiteful and throwing bait Jongin’s way and the next he was asking him why he wasn’t crying and making a scene. “Didn’t you raise me to be this way? Besides, what’s crying and screaming going to do? If a person’s dead, it’s not going to bring them back.”

"Wow," Jongdae said, scoffing. "This is ridiculous." Though the words were directed Jongin's way.

Jongin let out a prolonged sigh, evidently tired. “What did I do this time, honestly? It’s the most realistic opinion out there with regards to our situation.”

"It’s also pretty damn inhumane, too."

"Since when have you ever cared about how humane something is?"

"I suppose since I realized how much of a childhood you’ve been robbed out of, I guess. I don't know how other village orphans react to the death of their parents for sure but us--" He took a deep, shaky breath. "How can we pretend that's normal?"

Jongin groaned. “Can we please not go into this right now?”

Jongdae blinked, a little taken aback. “And why not?”  
  
"Because I’m tired, and it’s been an extremely long day and I’d rather not mope about this unattainable golden childhood of ours that every other child supposedly experiences. There comes a point where we just have to accept that it was never meant to be, irregardless. If our parents were still here, it'd be the same. We would not have experienced this, hyung. You know that as well as I do."

Jongdae seemed to wince somewhat. "Jongin I—"  
  
Jongin sighed. “Please, can we please not. Just this one time.”

Jongdae’s eyes darkened. “Fine,” he said. “Be a child about it then. Make up for what you lost, huh? Is that what it is?”

"The only one acting like a child right now is you," Jongin said.

They said nothing else after it but the tension was still thick in the air as they stared at one another. It was in that exact moment that the the busy blond of the group entered eye shot, quietly humming to himself.

"Hey Jonginnie," he said noticing the youngest of their little group was now standing, rather than hunched up with his own wool clothing piece wrapped around his shoulders, looking less pale than he'd seen him prior. "You’re looking chirpier!"

Jongin snorted.

Luhan’s smile faded as he noticed the tension running in the air. "…Oh,” he said. “Maybe not. You guys had an argument didn’t you?”

"And what do you care?"

Luhan’s eyes widened. “J-Jongdae?” He blinked, extremely taken aback. "Are you okay? Why the sudden change in demeanor?”

Jongdae didn’t even blink. “I’m just waiting.”

Luhan tilted his head to the side slightly, confused still. “Waiting? For what?”

"I don’t know. I’m giving it five seconds before you break out into your ‘let’s all hug and be thankful that things didn't end in Yixing's demise, but next time let's stick together, we're much stronger that way’ daisy chain bull crap. Maybe this time you'll gloat, though. Berate us for not sticking with your little grouping, knowing now that it truly is superior." He then chuckled. "Maybe even get mad at us." He raised an eyebrow. "If you have it in you, that is."

"Excuse me?"

Jongin turned to his brother, raising an eyebrow himself.

Jongdae shook his head. “Will this be the first time in forever where you don’t act that way, huh? Where you finally drop the gentle words and gestures, and turn around and tell us what everyone's _really_ thinking? That death follows us, that we attract an even worse kind of danger than what you and Yixing were used to prior, that you're better off without us?”

"Jongdae—" Luhan took a deep breath. "What are you talking about? Where is all of this even coming from?"

"You know what I’m talking about. You're here out of obligation of Yixing, because you don't have enough spine to tell him you'd feel a lot safer without Jongin and I around. Because you don't want to be a burden."

Luhan raised an eyebrow. “Well sorry to disappoint but I’m afraid I don’t. None of what you're saying is true, Jongdae.”

Jongdae seemed to smirk. "In all our time together I've never seen you snap. I've never seen you angry. It makes me curious sometimes. I've ended up at two conclusions. First is you've somehow managed to survive this way of life, whilst being the most naive human alive, or you've seen so much pain and suffering that you're numbed to the literal core of your soul, even more so than Jongin and I could ever dream of. And that's saying something. Fact of the matter is, you don't fit in here. You don't belong here. You could stride into the village right now and make yourself a life there. No one would even bat an eyelid, no one would have any idea you're one of us. So what's stopping you?"

Luhan was at a loss for words. “Jongdae—”

Even Jongin was stood with a perpetually raised eyebrow, watching his brother cautiously.

"You think I don’t notice?" Jongdae asked. "You think it just passes me by?"

"Jongdae what are you—"

"You're fancier than us, Luhan. Mannerisms, vocabulary. Jongin and I are intelligent, we're aware of that. Knowledge is something we've been trained to excel in. But the way you carry yourself, not so much the extensiveness of your vocabulary, but the _tone,_ certain words. Words people like Yixing, myself and Jongin would never get a hold of from where we're situated, village or not. Particularly through the subtle suggestions of how I should raise Jongin, the little nose crinkles when we have to do something that entails getting our hands dirty, excluding the bandaging of wounds and such, another thing you excel at--as if you've been _trained_ in it. I just don't understand why someone of your apparent stature would choose to lead this kind of life, or choose to interact with lowly beings such as ourselves. Not when you could easily be making a fortune and putting your medical talents to use in the village or dare I say..."

Luhan cringed. "Jongdae—"

Jongin knew instantly what Jongdae was implying. He glanced at a paling, terrified looking Luhan and knew he had to do something to stop his brother. "Hey," Jongin then interrupted, eyebrow twitching, grabbing both of their attentions. "God damn it, Jongdae, what are you doing?"

"Hyung—" Jongdae tried to correct.

"No, you know what? Fuck this, hyung.” He shook his head in disbelief. “I don’t know what’s wrong with you today but if you honestly expect us—or me— to sit back and take it and listen to the absurd claims you're trying to imply, you’ve got another thing coming. What you just said was completely uncalled for. Luhan was only trying to help, I mean all he’s done all day is try and help. Besides, there’s much bigger things at stake right now. As in: Yixing’s life.” He turned to Luhan, shaking his head in disbelief, apology in his eyes. “You also came here for a reason didn’t you? Is Yixing okay?”

Luhan took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. “I, um, he’s in a stable position currently. I don’t know how long that’s going last, I’m pretty sure he’s going to faint at some point but he’s holding on to conciousness really well. I personally really want him to rest, but he’s being so stubborn. I came here because I’ll need some help transporting the herbs and medicines—you know the ones we took from the v-village?—" He could feel Jongdae's eyes on him and avoided his gaze. "--Over to him. I really need to be by his side right now and I’d be so grateful if one of you could help me transport the medicine over, if that’s okay with you?”

Jongin nodded. “Yeah, it’s perfectly fine. I’ll help you.”

Jongdae who had been uncharacteristically quiet throughout Luhan and Jongin’s little exchange, chose this time to speak up. “You’re not going,” he said with a finality in his voice that only managed to peeve Jongin even further.

"Like hell I’m not. I was the one to get us in this mess according to you, right? So I’ll get us out of it, too. Don’t follow me, don’t try to stop me. Go cry about your feelings--or lack of, thereof--some more if it makes you feel any better but next time maybe try not to viciously insult the only one in whole group who can effectively defuse a situation as he's defusing a situation like this when he's done nothing wrong."

"I’m sorry if I offended you in any way, Jongdae. It wasn’t my intention at all," Luhan said as he and Jongin made their way out of the little camp after collecting the medicine bottles.

 

Once they’d transported the bottles and placed them down to the patch of grass where Luhan was working, Jongin and Luhan both sat down.

"What happened to the bear?" Jongin asked, purposely not looking at Yixing or his wounds.

Yixing coughed. It sounded weak, but still held the same playful note Jongin had become accustomed to. “He…” Yixing winced, and wanted to curse at how much effort he had to put just into speaking because of the pain. “Let it go.”

Luhan shook his head. “After scaring it away, of course. I couldn’t risk losing time for Yixing, and obviously I’m not strong enough to take on a creature that large. Hopefully the poisoned fish has done—or eventually will do—the trick for the bear, though.”

"Poisoned fish?" Jongin asked, confused.

"Oh, right. That’s right. I never had the chance to tell yourself and Jongdae, did I?—The reason why I left the fish out in the open wasn’t because of flavoring—I don’t know who started spreading that around, but because there was something in each of the fish that could’ve poisoned us. And I wanted to remove it before any of us could get our hands on the fish. Clearly, because of the bear, that wasn’t meant to be the case. I was going to come explain much earlier but—"

"No, no. I understand. You don’t have to justify yourself. You’ve done a much better job than I ever could with the handling of all of this. So, uh… thank you."

Yixing laughed. “I…” he said. “I think Jonginnie has developed a… new found respect for you, Luhan.”

Luhan chuckled. “Well if that’s the case, thank you. But it’s mainly because of what Jongdae said, I presume.”

"What… Jongdae said?" Yixing asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Never mind that for now. You’re going to have to rest as I stitch this wound up, because being stubborn and keeping yourself awake is not going to help your state right now."

Yixing grumbled.

"What injuries did he… uh… acquire?" Jongin asked.

"A broken arm and a huge scratch-like wound that starts from near his collarbone and finishes quite near his hip. It’s quite thin—well in comparison to the size of the bear and other wounds I’ve witnessed before—but it’s deep and it needs stitching. I’m planning on doing all the stitching now and I’ll understand if you don’t want to stay for that."

Jongin nodded. “Yeah,” he said getting up onto his feet. “I’ll go sit by the river for a while, I think. Get better soon, Yixing.”

"I’ll try!"

Jongin chuckled to himself.

Once Jongin had left, Luhan had begun to work on giving Yixing the medicine that would both help him sleep and ease the pain, before working on the stitching of the wound. But Yixing didn’t want to go to sleep, so refused to take the medicine.

Luhan’s lips unknowingly pulled down into a pout. “Yixing…” He said softly. “Please take your medicine and please go to sleep. I refuse to hurt you while you’re awake.”

Yixing scoffed. “You won’t hurt me…”

"I know you’re strong but the possibility is still there. Stitching does hurt and it’s not an easy job."

Yixing grumbled. “Fine, we’ll compromise. I’ll go to sleep after you tell me what Jongdae said.”

Luhan sighed. “You promise you’ll take your medicine and sleep though first, okay?”

"I promise."

"Okay, it’s a deal," he said as he began to let Yixing in on the details of what Jongdae had said to him. Yixing let out a prolonged angry sounding sigh once the elder had finished.

"What on earth—" Yixing had said after Luhan had finished. "Has _he_ been poisoned? What level of absurdity--"

"I mean, I understand, though." Luhan gulped. "I just never realized he felt that way about me. That he disliked me that much, if I'm correct in that assumption. I'd never leave you guys, even the thought is numbing."

Yixing tried to sit up, but Luhan shook his head and gently pushed him back down. “I’m sure he doesn’t. Jongdae’s not a bad guy, he’s just bottled a lot up over the years and has had a rough deal, you know? It’s nothing personal. I probably know the kid better than he knows himself. It was definitely the anger and surprise talking. Maybe he thought he was being clever piecing some absurd theory like that together. He doesn’t dislike you. You do fit in, I promise you.”

Luhan looked worried and vulnerable. “But—”

"Honestly. I promise. He was just angry. I know that kid and I know how his brain works. He bottles things up and laughs it all off like everything in the damn world is a joke and I think he learned it from me but I’m not entirely sure, he has a lot to cope with and he’s been through a lot, you know that. He reached boiling point today and in a way I’m actually glad—not at what he said to you, that was obviously wrong and not true at all—but that now everything he’s bottled up is out, he can finally work towards moving on from it."

Luhan nodded. “I think you’re right.”

Yixing chuckled. “You know I’m right. Besides, what’s not to like about you?”

Luhan smiled gently. “You’re just saying that because you have to.”

"Nah, I’m saying it because it’s true."

It’d been a few hours. Luhan had finally finished patching and stitching Yixing up, and Yixing had even woken up from his nap a few times. Each time Luhan told him to go back to sleep and rest more.

Eventually though Yixing had had so many naps he’d fully rested himself. Plus the pain of his arm was stopping him from fully being comfortable. So he decided that was the last nap and pushed himself up into a sitting position.

Yixing then forced himself onto his feet, trying his best to shake Luhan awake with his non broken arm. Luhan gasped, as he was awoken from his quick nap. “Yixing!” He said, ready to tell the younger off for being up when injured.

The younger sent a toothy smile in his direction. “Hey,” he said.

Luhan grumbled groggily. “What are you doing up?”

"I seriously cannot sleep any longer. Plus I’m feeling much better now. Those medicines and the rest I did get worked wonders. I’ve decided I’m going to go check on Jongdae, I’ve been worrying about him ever since you told me what happened. He needs someone to talk to, and of all people, that should be me, you know? Besides for me it’s literally just as easy calming him down as it to rile him up, so don’t worry about anything, alright?"

Luhan nodded. “He probably won’t want to see me anyway, so I guess it’s for the best. Please tell him it wasn’t my intention to tell him what to do or threaten his position in Jongin’s life— I just— I like to help out. I never realized it bothered him so much.”

"I will. Don’t worry about it, okay?—Like I said it was the anger and frustration talking."

Luhan nodded. “I’ll go check on Jongin, see how he’s holding up.”

"Sounds like a plan."

"Something you wouldn’t know much about, eh?" Luhan teased.

"Shut up," Yixing mumbled.

They went on their way to the brothers.

 

The river when nearing the hours of the night was a beautiful sight, something that never failed to take Luhan’s breath away. Darkened water rippling and reflected by the light of the moon, it was picturesque. A sight to behold.

Sitting down besides the taller boy, he turned to face him and asked a soft, “are you okay?”

Jongin sighed. “I don’t know.” He then turned to Luhan. “How about you?”

"It’s been a stressful day for everyone, hasn’t it?" Luhan avoided answering the question to the best of his ability, instead deciding to focus on the whole group. He wasn’t used to being the focus, wasn’t used to being asked how he as an individual felt, especially when he was always the one asking everyone else the exact same question. It'd become a habit of sorts and perhaps why he felt so out of place being the sole focus for Jongdae for so long.

"He upset you, didn’t he?" Jongin didn’t turn to face him and simply stared at the ripples of the water in the river.

Luhan nodded. “But I understand. He’s stressed and upset. I’m sure we’ve all been there at some point in our lives.” He let out an unsure sounding chuckle. He couldn’t deny the worrying thought that maybe what Jongdae had said, he’d meant. He was trying to think positive though, and trusted what Yixing said.

"That doesn’t give him the right to be an asshole. Also I’m going to apologize on his behalf, but I won’t excuse what he said because I don’t know for sure if he meant it or not, I’m not inside his head and we’re not the same person, I just want to get it out there his attacking you was completely uncalled for and we—as brothers—definitely do not share the same opinion on this particular topic."

"I know you’re not the same person," Luhan said. His eyes twinkled in the light of the moon. "Thank you for everything though, Jongin. You really should give yourself more credit."

It was quiet for a while. Jongin had been staring at the rippling in the water for a long time.

"Will you help me?" He finally asked, though he still didn’t turn to face Luhan.

Luhan’s eyebrows furrowed together. “Help you?”

"Get over it. My aversion to blood. Jongdae hyung is right about that at least. It’s a weakness. He says it’s impacting my ability and that in such situations as the one that happened with Yixing I should be able to get over it. I want to prove him right. I can’t afford weakness. Aversion to blood is a weakness. I want to eliminate it. Will you help me?"

"I mean I-I could try but… I. Jongin, where is this coming from? And specifically only me? Or do you want the rest of the group’s help, too?"

Jongin shook his head. “Only you.”

"Why is that, may I ask?"

"Because we make a better team than we ever anticipated, don’t we? You’re not my brother, so most importantly you’re not scared of blood like we are. Also you’re not going to pick a fight at every little thing I do and insist I call you hyung every three seconds. You’re also not as reckless as either Jongdae or Yixing are--or try to be--so I don’t have to worry about you nearly getting yourself killed by doing something like today's events. Also you do really well keeping a calm head on in a panic type situation, so logically, you’re my best bet. I really do believe with your help I can overcome this. Become stronger. Better myself."

Luhan chuckled, playfully winking at the younger. “Are you sure it’s not because I’m secretly your favorite in the little group?”

"Well if you’d like to hear it I could say that. It would, however, be a lie."

Luhan winced. “Oh,” he said, light demeanor seeming to sadden. Did they both want him gone? “So you really are brothers then, hm?”

"No, you’re getting the wrong idea," Jongin said. "You’re all equal to me. No one’s higher than the other. Everyone fits in."

"Oh," Luhan chuckled softly, eyes twinkling. "Well thank you, that makes me feel a lot better."

Jongin nodded.

"So what’s the idea then? What’s the plan? With the um… the getting over the blood deal?" Luhan asked.

Jongin was staring intensely at the ripples of the water still. “I plan on slowly inching myself piece by piece into witnessing blood first hand more and more to the point where I can look at it without it making me react the way I normally do, then smell it without wanting to crawl into a hole and die and finally, at the peak, being able to touch it. To fully overcome the fear I have of it. To the point where it won’t bother me at all, and won’t impact on my life in the slightest.”

"How, exactly? Do you plan on hunting the bear yourself or?"

Jongin laughed. “I don't have a death wish, so no. Bears are way out of our calibre and strength range. I’m thinking more along the lines of chickens or cows?”

"So going to the village then?"  
  
"Yes."

"You do realize it’s dangerous, that you’re going against your brother’s main wishes, right? How are we going to execute it?"

"At night times. But spread it out sporadically so he doesn’t notice. Tonight can be our first practice because he’s not going to want to see me for some time in this state and believe me when I say the feeling’s mutual. But then... Yixing?—Maybe we should try make it shorter for the time being?"

"Perhaps not. He just went to check on Jongdae and he knows I’m checking on you. I presume Yixing will be sleeping for a long time, however, too. He’ll definitely need it to bring his strength back up."

"Perfect then," Jongin said. He then turned to face Luhan and noted the evident expression of fear outlining the elder’s pretty features. "Besides, don’t worry about anything. In the end it’s my idea, so if they find out, I’ll just tell them the truth. I'll just tell them you’re only agreeing because you have this inability to say no."

Luhan didn't deny this. "Helpful on occasion I guess?"  
  
Jongin quirked an eyebrow at Luhan. "This is kind of the point where you're supposed to get offended with me." The words held light conviction.

"You have good intentions so I don’t mind." Luhan chuckled softly. "Actually I think I prefer that you’re honest about it. I’m sure there are some people who don’t let their real intentions out in the open until the very last minute. That kind of person is terrifying, I’m glad there’re none of them around us.”

"Maybe I secretly am one," Jongin joked.

Luhan laughed. “I hope not.”


	5. The River

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iL0xN4T0iWw  
> 'I heard that evil comes disguised'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Watching the word count grow so significantly each chapter is honestly amusing me

Back at the camp, the atmosphere was extremely awkward. Jongdae was perched on a flat rock they generally used as a sitting stool, with his knees pulled up against his chest. He was quiet, which was already an unusual instance, and he wouldn't look at Yixing.

Yixing on the other hand was attempting to inch closer to Jongdae physically, which was difficult in his condition--with his broken arm and injured upper torso. He saw it as his only option, as thus far every time he tried to call out Jongdae's name, the younger would ignore him completely.  
  
Yixing cursed to himself.

"Hey," he said, attention directed onto the shorter, slightly lighter haired Kim brother.

He got no reply, not even a sound. No nod of acknowledgement, nothing.

"Jongdae?" Yixing tried again, the younger now really beginning to test his patience.  
  
There was no reply again. Yixing scowled, glaring at the back of Jongdae's head. "Yah," he said, making his tone of voice a little harsher. "Kim Jongdae if you continue to ignore me I'm going to find a way to impale you into that tree with the spears we use for fishing. Then I'll hang you upside down and make sure you're still breathing as the blood begins to trickle down from the wound and begins to settle at your neck, and then drip down into your vision, alright?!"

Jongdae shuddered at the mention of blood, hoping not to make it too obvious. But then only huffed. "Leave me alone," he muttered grumpily.

Yixing groaned in pain as he pushed him onto his feet and staggered towards where Jongdae sat. He used his good arm--the other wrapped securely in a collection of a few spare pieces clothing, which Luhan had used as a support bandage, knowing they had nothing else on offer--to try pull Jongdae up to his feet. He'd pulled him up a little bit, but as he wasn't able to use his full strength, Jongdae could've easily gotten out of it.

"Yah," Jongdae said, sneering. "Let go of me. I'll break your other arm if you don't."

Yixing's eyes narrowed. "You know that even in this condition I could still kick your ass."

The younger laughed mockingly. "Wanna bet?"

Yixing sighed, letting go of the material of Jongdae's clothing he was holding onto, crouching down beside him instead. He tried not to wince, realizing there really was a reason Luhan had told him not to move or overexert himself too much, and to really get as much rest as possible. He couldn't, though, knowing the thoughts that could be running through Jongdae's mind, at that moment in time. Besides, he'd been preparing himself for an instance like this with the younger for quite some time. There was only so much a person could bottle up, push underneath the surface before it came to breaking point.

Yixing even felt a little bad, knowing his reckless encounter with the bear was potentially what pulled the final trigger on Jongdae's long overdue meltdown, and that he--being the only one who could've stopped Jongdae getting to the point he did earlier--wasn't even there to witness the scene unfold.

"What's with you today, Jongdae?" He then asked, adopting a gentler tone of voice. It wasn't accusatory, it wasn't demanding that the younger tell him. It was patient, willing to listen.

But Jongdae just had to be Jongdae about it. "What's with you, everyday?" The younger mumbled back, grouchily.  
  
"I won't leave you alone until we talk about this."  
  
Jongdae raised a condescending eyebrow. "I thought that was Luhan's job?"  
  
"Well as you know... aside from the fact that you verbally attacked him for no reason and he's now under the impression that you hate him, I guess I'll have to suffice for now."

Jongdae grumbled to himself.

"What's wrong, Jongdae?"

"I'm pissed off," Jongdae's reply was instantaneous.

"Aside from the obvious."

Jongdae smiled condescendingly."Okay. I'm _really_ pissed off."

Realizing he was getting nowhere, Yixing brought the conversation to a different topic, promising himself he'd truly get to the depths of what was bothering Jongdae in a little while.  
  
"You really upset Luhan, you know," Yixing's tone of voice sounded a little angry, but he was trying his best to control it. He wasn't going to go easy on Jongdae on the topic of how he treated both Luhan and Jongin. With the other things, he'd try, but there was no excusing or justifying the way he treated the remaining two in their group prior. Yixing wasn't going to sugar coat that or pretend he understood, because he truly felt Jongdae had gone too far. And he still didn't even know what the younger had said to Jongin.   
  
Jongdae only scoffed at Yixing's words, though. "You can say hello to Luhan 'the wrong way' and upset him," he muttered. He knew he was being harsh, that over the years he'd repeatedly been harsh to Luhan in a way he wasn't to the remaining two of their group. He could never really pin point why, but there was something about Luhan that he felt was weak, or at the very least unsuited for their way of living. But it never added up, which in turn bothered Jongdae even more. Luhan barely complained about a thing, never fell behind in training or hunting, took everything he faced with a smile and somehow managed to have hope and faith in their circumstances. He knew full well the dangers they faced, knew full well that the group -- what the village had come to know the group as -- were banished, unable to return, were destined to live their days out in destitute conditions, knowing full well they'd never have homes of their own. Yet Luhan... had opportunity to not be that way. He didn't look the way 'Rogues' as such did, didn't behave that way, evidently had lived in high tier conditions at one point in his life -- dyed golden hair the most evident pointer -- and had picked up habits and mannerisms from it. He could so easily fit in in the village, so easily make use of his trained medical talents and yet...

He'd been with them for so long. It didn't make sense to Jongdae and it bothered him because he felt they were wasting what could've been a grand opportunity; if Luhan had a home, paired with a trustworthy village reputation, they could easily sneak in it on occasion, allow themselves some time away from the constant struggle. If Luhan let himself be of use to the village and earned a living through his medical talents, they'd have currency to spare, something they currently couldn't even dream of. 

Granted, he had gone too far to imply that Luhan could and should work for the Royals -- knowing none of the group were fond of such individuals, particularly Yixing, who Luhan was closest affiliated with -- but it was a heat of the moment thing, Royals were the richest in the village, it all clicked together in essence. He'd been wanting to bring this topic to attention for a while, and was angry now that he'd probably ruined it for all of them. 

"You know that's not true, Jongdae." Yixing was chewing the inside of his cheek, trying not to make the pain of his wound too obvious. He probably needed some more of the medicine, but Luhan was the one who had it currently. And Luhan was preoccupied with making sure Jongin was okay. Yixing had Jongdae to look after, too. He decided he'd just have to grin and bear it. "Luhan's never been anything but welcoming to you. Only ever tried to help out, to try and make your workload a little easier. He never meant any trouble and he definitely doesn't want to take over your spot in Jongin's life."

Jongdae's eyes were brewing with an undecipherable emotion, this was another thing that wouldn't sit well with him, but this happened even when Yixing tried to do it too. Everyone knew Jongin was Jongdae's little brother, that it was Jongdae's responsibility to take care of him, that it's what his parents would've wanted. Their final wish. Friend or foe, no one was infringing on that. "Maybe not my place in Jongin's life, but with the way he acts, he..." He sighed and looked the other way.   
  
"He what, Jongdae? What's bothering you about Luhan, huh? What has the poor guy done that's morally offended you so much that you'd verbally attack him for him coming to collect medicine and wanting help with escorting it to me? What was so bad that you've now put him under the impression you hate him, hm?"  
  
"You won't understand."  
  
"Try me."  
  
Jongdae gulped, knowing that even with his explanation the older probably wouldn't catch on, that, or he wasn't expecting him to. "It's just... he's just... he's so nice all the damn time and he's never not smiling, never not worrying about us and checking on us and making sure we're not going to have a mental breakdown and that--" He sighed, now taking this time to glance up at the tall tree and let his eyes linger there. "And I'm just... I'm annoyed, okay. Everyone's annoying." He buried his head into his arms. "Leave me alone."  
  
"Oh," Yixing said, as something seemed to dawn on him. "I think I get it."  
  
Jongdae's head snapped towards the elder. "What?"  
  
"The reason why Luhan's behavior bothers you it's because..." Yixing blinked, things finally making sense for him. "The endless brightness, the gentleness, the worrying. That's always how you imagined your mother would be, right?--And every time you see Luhan act that way it brings the lingering thought back that maybe, had it been another life, she'd be the exact same way... right?"  
  
Jongdae stared at his feet, unblinking. "I... don't understand how you could tell that's what I meant without me even saying it," he mumbled.  
  
"I know you, Jongdae. You really underestimate how much I really do know you."  
  
Jongdae grumbled to himself, and pulled his legs even closer to his chest.  
  
"That doesn't excuse the way you acted, still, however."  
  
"I'm not sorry."  
  
"That's a lie."  
  
"How would you know that?" Jongdae turned the other way on his stone seat, and now had his back facing Yixing, whilst he stared at the narrowing path of forest that led down towards the right ended clearing and then eventually ended up at the river. Maybe he did go too far with what he said, especially to Jongin, but he wasn't going to admit that. Maybe he was being immature in his handling of the situation, but for the first time in what felt like forever, he didn't really care.  
  
"Because like I said, Jongdae, I know you."  
  
Jongdae laughed. The sound was bitter, biting. "So you think."  
  
"No," Yixing continued. "So I know. You're proving my point right now."  
  
"How, exactly?"  
  
"By doing what you always do."  
  
"Which is what, exactly?"  
  
"Hiding behind a front when you're unable to deal with problems. Regardless of what type of front it is. Most of the time it's your humor you hide behind, I guess this is the first time you've ever gotten bitingly insulting about something, huh? The bottling shit up I've witnessed from you year after year, the pushing people away... seen it all before. But this? Throwing venom people's way and then refusing to admit you're wrong? This is a first." Yixing couldn't suppress his scoff. "And no offense intended here, Jongdae, but you're also quite the hypocrite."  
  
"How am I a hypocrite, then?"  
  
"Well the way you treat Jongin, for starters."  
  
Jongdae turned to face Yixing this time, eyes darkening. "Exactly what I was talking about before! Thank you for proving my point." He huffed. "I bet in your spare time you congregate with each other and make a list of all the things I'm doing wrong when raising my own brother, huh?!--All the things you'd change or suggest I change, right?--I bet you're on point five-hundred-and-sixty-five now or something with the amount of times shit like this is brought into conversations, huh?"

"Before you start putting words in my mouth at least let me finish." Yixing puffed out a breath. "All I'm saying is... how do I word this... you expect things of Jongin that don't hold true for yourself."

"Like what?"

"Things like the incessant checking up on him... making him tell you when there's something wrong, sometimes even to the point where you nearly reach the prospect of forcing it out of him--where you won't leave him alone until he tells you. That's especially worrisome when there genuinely isn't something wrong, and in such, there is nothing to tell. Which would mean you would be there all day, and get nowhere."  
  
"And can you blame me? What else am I supposed to do, huh? He's my _brother._ If I don't look out for him, who else will?" Before Yixing could even open his mouth, Jongdae cut him off, "and don't you say dare say you or Luhan. Don't, Yixing."  
  
"Okay, whatever, if that's what you want. And it's all good and well--"  
  
Jongdae puffed out an angry sounding breath. "And then the arrogant little shit stands there and acts like it's a burden, huh?! Like I'm doing it to get under his skin or for my own goddamn amusement and I just--" He kicked a pebble with his foot. "That kid makes me so goddamn angry sometimes."  
  
"Which gets me onto my next point--the taking care of Jongin thing, you over do it. And that's exactly why Jongin doesn't react the way you want him to. You focus too much on your brother, to the point where you completely forget about yourself. You're literally neglecting yourself. And it's impacting on your own health, you know? Jongin's capable of looking out for himself, he's more than capable of looking after himself, he's shown that to us on numerous occasions. To sit here and watch you neglect yourself Jongdae, as the one who essentially raised you, that bothers me. I just want you to think about yourself for once. I want you to stop worrying about what your parents would think, to stop worrying about what Luhan and myself would think, to stop worrying about what Jongin would think and to let you be yourself. Genuinely. To allow yourself time to stop pertaining to this three person role you've convinced yourself you've had to adopt to get by and raise Jongin. If that means relying on myself and Luhan at least a little, then I'd prefer that you did."  
  
"I can't do that," Jongdae said. "I can't place--nor share--responsibility for my one and only brother between two people I can't even guarantee will stick around in the long run. Not now, not ever. Just think about it for a second, yeah?--The possibility of it. Say I actually go through it and allow us all to share the responsibility between us, and then just as things start to get difficult, you back out. You realize it's not all rainbows and sunshine and that there are obstacles to overcome and it terrifies you, but you have the option of dropping out, don't you? It's as easy as walking away for you two when you decide you don't want to be part of it any more. And then I'm straight back at square one. Just like last time. I can't risk that. I won't let what happened to my--" He stopped, cringing a little. "You get the picture, right? Just sit comfortably doing what you're doing now, the both of you. Being two guys Jongin and myself are attached to who show up when they want and also disappear when they want. But hold no responsibility for either of us. It's the best way. The only way."  
  
Yixing's eyebrow furrowed in confusion. "We're not leaving Jongdae-- where is this all coming fro--"  
  
"But that's what you say! That's what you all say. What you always say! You're so quick to give me these verbal promises--" He glanced down at his palms, shaking his head in disbelief. "And then you never stick to it. Because I'll wake up one day, expecting everything to be the same-- to be the exact same way I left it the previous night and I'll turn in your direction like I always do, expecting to see you there and..." Jongdae eyes began to water, and Yixing could've sworn he felt something prick in his chest. "And but this time, you won't be there. I'll be alone."  
  
"Jongdae..."  
  
Jongdae let out a shaky sounding scoff and looked the other way. "And even if you don't leave by choice... you'll still be taken away from me somehow. Eventually _They_ will find a way to take you away from me. They always do."  
  
"Who, Jongdae?"  
  
"I can't tell you that. If I tell you, maybe you're more at risk... I don't know how They work for certain. But I know one thing. They want everyone I've ever cared about." He seemed to shiver. "And They won't seem to stop until they get them. And I c-can't." He buried his head in his hands. "I can't let them take you, too, Yixing."  
  
"They won't, Jongdae. I promise you that."  
  
"Don't make promises you can't keep," Jongdae's tone of voice was harsh this time and where the tears had been beginning to develop before, were now being replaced by an unreadable emotion as he met Yixing's eyes. "Also now maybe you understand what I mean when I say I don't want Jongin to leave my side. When I try my best to make sure he's never not there beside me. Or at least I hope you do. It's not me being the overbearingly protective older brother, it's not to annoy him... it's because I'd be lost without him. And if there's anyone that They are not going to be taking away from me, it's Jongin. And he can get as annoyed and as angry as he wants at me for 'coming on too strong'... or being 'overbearing'... hell, he can hate me all he wants. So long as he's hating me by my side."  
  
Yixing was at a loss for words, trying to process everything.  
  
And it was then that Jongdae seemed to notice where he was and his whole body curled into a ball on the stone he sat on. "Leave me alone," he said as he began rocking backwards and forwards. "Please just leave me alone for a while."  
  
"Shh," Yixing cooed as he began to make his way over to the curled up Jongdae. Jongdae, who heard the shuffling, unlatched himself from his position and looked at Yixing in a mild horror.  
  
Backing up a bit as the elder continued to move in on him. "You're injured!" He exclaimed, shooting up onto his feet and trying to scoot away from the oncoming elder.  
  
The elder scoffed. "I don't care." He then grabbed Jongdae's wrist and pulled him into his arms--or into his good arm. "If you need to cry, you can cry. Don't let my presence stop you. I'm not going to judge you or tease you today of all days, believe me."  
  
Jongdae nodded, finally wrapping his arms around the lean body of the elder, making sure to be gentle, not wanting to apply any pressure to his wounds. "I didn't mean what I said," Jongdae then mumbled.  
  
"I know."  
  
Jongdae snuggled into the crook of Yixing's neck, the point where his neck began to meet his collarbone. "Does Jonginnie hate me?" Jongdae sniffled. "I know I said he could hate me as much as he wanted just so long as he's beside me as he does it, but I don't think that's really true. I don't think I'd be able to deal with him hating me. Beside me or not."  
  
When Jongdae glanced up to meet Yixing's eyes, his eyes were once again lined with tears, and Yixing patted Jongdae's head soothingly.  
  
"Jongin doesn't hate you. He could never hate you."  
  
"I said some horrible things to him. To Luhan too. How could I..." He let out a prolonged sigh. "I'm an idiot."  
  
Yixing sent a playful smile Jongdae's way. "You are. But honestly I don't think you were in the right frame of mind. Or so I've heard."  
  
Jongdae nodded. "But that doesn't excuse it."  
  
"That's what I said." Yixing then glanced at the forest leading towards the clearing that then led towards the river, where Jongin and Luhan were currently. "Should we wait up for them, or sleep now?" He was, truthfully, exhausted. And it wasn't like Jongin and Luhan were incapable of walking. They'd work things out in their own time, and come back to the camp to sleep soon enough...  
  
"Maybe we should just sleep." Jongdae chuckled sheepishly, seeming to also be sharing Yixing's desire for sleep. "I'm exhausted."  
  
"Me too."

 

  
Jongin and Luhan hadn't really moved from their position on the river bed. They sat still, seeming to be thinking things through in their heads.  
  
"So..." Luhan trailed off after a few minutes of silence. "To, um... hunt animals we'll need knives. As far as I'm aware our knives are back at the camp, but back at the camp is also where Jongdae and Yixing are. Should we go back to get our knives and sneak in as to not alert them of our presence or..."  
  
"I think that's too risky," Jongin said as he glanced back over his shoulder. "They're not exactly the deepest of sleepers and Yixing's obviously going to question us when he notices we're sneaking around, no?"  
  
Luhan nodded.  
  
Jongin thought about it for a while. "Is there any possible way we could make our way into the village at this time and perhaps find a knife?"  
  
"I presume so." Luhan twiddled with his thumbs. "I know it sounds bad and I genuinely don't enjoy doing it, but from mine and Yixing's experience when taking things from the village for us all, some of the village inhabitants don't really have enough space in their houses to store all of their products from their stalls and leave them out at night. Either exactly where they were in the morning or underneath the table. It, uh, makes it much easier and quicker to steal though, I must say."  
  
"At least they have houses to begin with," Jongin muttered. "They're better off than we are, so why should we feel guilty? It's every man for himself, Luhan."  
  
"I, just..." Luhan chuckled sheepishly, teetering into this topic gently. "I guess I've just seen the richer side of life, and think if anything, it'd be much fairer to take from those better off as opposed to the poor, struggling ones."  
  
"I'm not really bothered who we take the knives from. We just need knives. So should we go?"  
  
Luhan nodded, getting up onto his feet. He offered Jongin his hand to help him up, but Jongin shook his head, fully capable of getting up on his feet himself.  
  
Once they were both standing, they sent once last surreptitious glance in the direction of the clearing that led down into forest like hallway to their camp, checking if anyone was there. No one was, so they made their way over to the low stone bridge of the river that would allow them to cross over onto the path of where the other patch of the forest lie, which once they would make their way through that, would then lead them to be on the path towards the village.  
  
Luhan shivered. "The forest is kind of eerie at night, no?"  
  
Jongin shrugged. "I'm used it. Besides if my time placement is correct, it should be lightening up soon."  
  
Luhan nodded. "It does get lighter soon, as far as I'm aware. But if we're a few hours off, they also have lights to help direct people in the village at this time, so we'll be able to see once we're there."  
  
Jongin nodded. "Let's hurry, then. I want to make it back before Jongdae and Yixing wake up, presuming they're asleep right now."  
  
"Them being asleep seems likely. We'll try our best to get back before they wake up, or maybe even before sunrise, if that's better?"  
  
"Before sunrise is good, yeah."  
  
  
  
The darkest hours of the night were probably the worst in terms of security and safety in the forest. Common belief of many, was that day was safe and night was dangerous.   
There were many reasons supporting these beliefs, of course. It wasn't as though someone had decided one day that that was the way it was going to be, and no one could think otherwise.  
  
There was a certainty in the day time that was lost at night.  
  
Bright and light, people could see every little thing that was happening. Nothing was hidden and nothing could sneak up on them and take them by surprise without their knowledge of it, and even if such an instance occurred, when the day was light they could at least see what was happening. And, in such, could figure out a way to get away or escape, or hide, if need be.  
  
Everything they'd become used to, or accustomed to, was the way they'd left it in the mornings and even in evenings.  
  
Night, on the other hand...

Night was much less certain.  
  
Night was usually when a person would be tucked away in their nice warm bed, sleeping.

Night was everything day was not.  
  
Rumors and tales were widespread about the occurrences that took place at night, especially around the village, but it seemed none really knew the full extent of what really could--and would--take place in the darkest hours of the night, if crossed.  
  
There was a reason for this. Only few knew the true depths of the darkness, only few were trusted enough to keep these depths of darkness hidden, unspoken.  
If that meant letting village dwellers latch onto misinformation and spread it, in such blaming an entirely different group of people, They didn't mind.  
  
It was something They were willing to let slide.  
  
Maybe something They even preferred.  
  
Just like those who radiated light and goodness, there were others so dark, dangerous. Radiated an evil and an aura so deadly that had a person stare in their eye too long, they'd probably feel their blood freeze on the spot. That, or every essence of their life slowly drain away before their very own eyes.  
  
Sometimes, even They got bored.  
  
Tired of hiding, tired of waiting in the shadows.  
  
Night time was their time of day, it was their pride.  
  
So why should they have had to hide?  
  
Crawling around at night time, it'd become somewhat of a hobby.  
  
If others got in the way of that, well, weren't they the ones responsible for walking into their own death trap?

With this thought in mind, They altered their footing, and began to follow behind the two males.  
  
Their steps practically undetected.

 

A misty fog had began to spread around the darkened trees of the opposing patch of forest--the patch of forest that they were all much less acquainted with. The patch of forest they only ever visited when they had to go to the village.

Which was usually Yixing and Luhan who went to steal some essential supplies, all four of them when hunting for food.

The fog wasn't deterring them, as it wasn't anything Jongin and Luhan weren't used to. They'd trudged through worse, but when weather like that came around, they generally had Jongdae and Yixing in tow, too.

This time round it was just Jongin and Luhan.  
  
Half of the group.  
  
And they only had two pairs of eyes each, so even if they needed to, couldn't watch every corner of the forest.  
  
But they promised themselves they'd be alright, because once again, they'd been through worse, and it wasn't as though they were incapable.  
  
They only had a little stretch of forest to trudge through anyway. But in that instance, a small crack sounded, making Luhan jump. He then turned to Jongin, eyebrows furrowed. "Did you step on something?" He asked Jongin.  
  
Another crack sounded, and even though Luhan didn't jump this time, he scooted closer to Jongin, almost linking their arms together.

"Jongin," he whispered, now looking afraid. "Seriously. What was that? Was that you? Please stop doing it if it is. I really don't like being unaware or in the dark and I know Yixing and Jongdae would play those kinds of tricks but they're not here and you're much less likely to do that and--"

"It's not me," Jongin said, telling Luhan what he already knew. Jongin seemed a little dazed himself. "Probably just a small animal, let's keep going."

"Should we at least... check?"

"I'm sure we'll be fine. Let's just pick up our speed."

Luhan nodded, and did as Jongin instructed. Walking at a faster pace, almost a borderline run, they began nearing the exit.

It really must've just been a small animal, Luhan soon decided. Because they made it out of the clouded darkness of the forest with muddied boots and no other visible signs of fight or struggle, and were now on the path towards the village.

Once Jongin and Luhan were out of the dark and foggy forest, the one they were much less familiar with than where they’d placed their camp, they turned to each other and gave themselves a minute or two to catch their breaths—as they’d just been close to running by the mid half of the trek through the forest.

They turned slightly to their left, and embarked on the walk down a narrow, windy road. The road was dusty and full of dried mud, but it wasn’t very long at all.

In about five minutes they arrived at the village, but as their path was along the back roads, they had a bit of a walk through a few fields to trek through before they would reach the main land point of the village—in which the stalls and houses sat.

Deciding running would be more effective they raced each other to the top of the first field and easily cleared its short, stone wall. They did the same for the remaining two fields they had to overcome, and ended up on the side walk on the opposite side of the street where the houses and stalls lay.

Nightwatchers barely ever patrolled the village area in particular—it was always the Palace they were patrolling and the opening area and ending area of the village—the entrance and the exit. Knowing they didn’t have to worry about being seen, and even if they _were_ seen now, they could probably disguise themselves as village inhabitants—as they entered from the outskirts and unlike the other times came to the village to hunt, the Nightwatchers wouldn’t have been able to see them enter the village from what should be the exit and had no reason to doubt their sincerity; as the outskirts and the village exit were two different ways of getting in and in such, they could’ve easily pretended to be village inhabitants out of their house in the earlier hours in the morning.

With this thought in mind, they swiftly made their way across the side walk and over to the seemingly endless array of stalls on display.

Most stalls at that particular moment in time were a contrast between being completely empty and having all of their content still on display. There were a select few that had clearly tucked away their produce into bags and placed them underneath the tables.

"Wow," Jongin said, sounding a little awed as he took the sight in. "Do these things ever end?"

Luhan chuckled, sending a playful glance Jongin’s way. “You act as though you’ve never seen them before.” 

Jongin blinked at Luhan. “I haven’t.”

Luhan paused. “But…?”

Jongin quirked one eyebrow, not understanding what Luhan was getting at. "I've come along when we've hunted for food in the farms, yes. But I've never been on the  _inside_ of the village before. It's only you and Yixing who have."

"Are you sure?"Luhan asked.

Jongin nodded. "I presume so."

Luhan glanced at him, curiously. "What about the time you and Jongdae  _lived_ here?" 

Jongin blinked. "You're counting that, too?" Still not seeing too convinced. "I didn't realize. I'd pretty much only just turned seven. I can't recall much of anything from before that age. Does it really count?"

Luhan's eyes widened the slightest fraction and the slight frustration from before instantly dissipated."Right," Luhan said. "You’re completely right. Anyway, these are all the stalls where the majority of village workers earn their living. It’s always thriving in the day time and there’s so much more on display in the mornings. At night those who have enough space in their homes take their products inside and store them there and in hopes that they won’t get stolen. Others don’t have that kind of space for whatever reason—because of children or animals or whatever and so just leave their things outside… covered if it’s food they’re sealing. Then there are those workers who don’t have the space but don’t feel comfortable with just placing a cover over their things and instead place them inside bags and put them under the tables. We’re going to have to look through each stall until we find what we’re looking for, alright?"

Jongin nodded. “Thanks for the explanation. It was very helpful.”  
  
"It's no problem." The blond elder smiled. "Shall we continue?"  
  
Jongin nodded.  
  
Their eyes skimmed over they stalls they passed, looking for anything that even indicated a similarity of a knife, until Jongin stopped in front a particular stall. It had nothing to do with knives, but he could recognize the object sitting atop the table. "Wait a minute," he said, pointing at a saucepan. "I recognize that."  
  
"A saucepan," Luhan said. "This entire stall is full of cooking instruments."  
  
"Don't we have one of those back at the camp? To boil things, right?"  
  
Luhan nodded. "We have a few actually."  
  
Jongin nodded. "It's nice to be able to at least name one thing on these stall things. Everything else looks so alien to me." His eyes then landed on a sharp pointed object with a handle. "Luhan," he said.  
  
Luhan glanced at him.  
  
"Look."  
  
Luhan nodded a little in approval once his eyes landed on the knife. It wasn't as good as their custom made knives back at the camp, but it'd serve its purpose for now. "Better than nothing, I suppose."  
  
"Shame there's only one on display, though."  
  
Luhan glanced underneath the table, to find it completely empty. "And they don't seem to have stored anything underneath, so just that will have suffice for now. Let's go."  


  
It didn't take them long to find a random farmer's back garden.  
  
They could already make out the pens, cages and stables even before they'd hopped over the fence.  
  
"Chicken or cow, then?" Luhan asked, before they jumped the fence.  
  
Jongin stopped to think for a minute or two. "I actually think a pig would be our best bet for what we're here for."  
  
Luhan nodded, seeming to agree. "But pigs are loud, Jongin."  
  
"I know. But texture wise their skin is probably closest to ours, no? And I know it's human blood I react the worst to..."  
  
"But I thought we were going to build you up to a point where you'd be able to handle human blood. As in, isn't human blood our peak? The pinnacle of the mountain? Wouldn't it be better to start small?"  
  
Jongin sighed. "I suppose. But I'm aiming for human blood, right? If I pick an animal to focus on that has a skin texture similar to our own as opposed to an animal that has feathers, won't my process be much more efficient? Why bother cutting into an animal with feathers if it's going to get me nowhere? On top of that, cows are too large. Even if they're loud, for our purpose, pigs are the best option. But in the case of not getting caught, I suppose our best bet is a chicken. Plus we're not even entirely sure this farm has pigs or not to begin with. Let's go check."  
  
They fumbled slightly as they made their way around the farm, searching for the animals. It had gotten a little bit lighter since they'd arrived, by not by much at all. Thankfully the farm had a lit lantern on the left end of the fence, illuminating the surrounding area. They ended up at the cages first and noted that there was, indeed, a handful of chickens. The stables clearly indicated horses.  
  
Once they made their way further along, they looked for any sort of pen or penthouse to show existence of pigs, but just like Jongin suspected, there were no pigs. "Unless they're kept inside..." He trailed off, but then stopped as he noticed Luhan hadn't been following him. "Luhan?"  
  
Luhan was frozen in place. "There are no Nightwatchers here, Jongin."  
  
Jongin also blinked in surprise. "But there are always Nightwatchers around here. It's a few meters away from the exit of the village."  
  
"Exactly." A cool breeze blew by and Luhan shivered a little. "What's going on?"  
  
"Perhaps it's a national holiday or something?" Jongin then noticed a piece of paper pinned to a nearby tree, still illuminated by the lanterns. He made his way over and furrowed his eyebrows. "That's interesting," he said.  
  
"What interesting?"  
  
"Apparently a Princess has gone missing." Jongin hummed. "I wonder what happened."  
  
Luhan's head snapped up towards Jongin. "What? It doesn't say which kingdom they're referring to does it?"  
  
"There's more than one kingdom?" Jongin asked, surprised. For as much as knew about everything else, he was utterly clueless towards village life, traditions and customs. "And no, it doesn't. There's no sketch either. It's just a description of what she apparently looks like and a huge reward sum if she's found and brought back to the Palace."  
  
"There are two kingdoms, at opposite ends. I guess it has to be referring to this side, then." He looked a little dazed at the news and he kept glancing at the poster.  
  
"Well I suppose we should thank her, whoever she is," Jongin said, chuckling a little. "Made our job much easier for once, huh?"  
  
Luhan nodded, but he still looked a little dazed. So dazed that Jongin picked up on it, not so soon after.

"Are you alright?"  
  
Luhan seemed to snap back into reality. "Yeah," he finally said. "I'm fine. Just surprised, I suppose. It's not everyday a _Princess_ goes missing, is it? I wonder what happened."  
  
"Maybe she ran away," Jongin said offhandedly, but after he said it, he laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world. "Probably not, though. Don't rich Royal people have their entire life set? Why would she run away from that, when she has everything she'll ever need and more? Logically, I'm presuming kidnap."  
  
"Also," Luhan said as he went and inspected the poster himself. "That really is a large sum of money. Imagine what we could do with it, wow."  
  
Jongin snorted. "You're not actually considering going to go look for her, are you?"  
  
Luhan blinked. "Would it be a bad thing if I said I was?" He then flipped his golden hair out of his eyes, realizing it was getting a little too long. "We'd be able to buy ourselves house with that kind of money! Plus so much more."  
  
"I don't know about bad, but it's way out of my comfort zone. I know that if I encountered a Princess I wouldn't have any idea as to what to do. But then again, I've never interacted with a girl in my life to begin with, so, you'd probably have to do all the talking." He laughed a little. "Not that you don't already. Besides, she's nothing to do with us. Why should we play the heroes? On top of that, with our reputations, we'd be probably beheaded before we could even set foot in a Palace. They don't like people like us, Luhan. Weren't you and Yixing the ones to teach me that to begin with?"  
  
That seemed to snap Luhan back into reality and for a moment he looked like he'd seen a ghost. "You're right. What am I even thinking? Aish."  
  
"You're getting soft in your old age, clearly," Jongin joked.  
  
Luhan laughed. "Shut up, maknae."

 

"So, the lucky animal of choice, then?"

"Well there are no pigs so that eliminates them. Cows are too large. So that leaves us with chickens or horses, but I know how much farmers prize their horses, and they're probably louder than pigs are, so chickens it is."

Luhan nodded, understanding. "Shall I catch the chicken, then? And you can sit down and prepare yourself, I guess?"

"Are you sure?"

"I'm not the one who's going to have to go through with all this. I'm here to assist you, Jongin. I'm here to help. So if you need a few minutes to build yourself up to facing it, that's fine by me."

"Okay," Jongin said. "I'll wait here, then."

The catching of the chicken was surprisingly extremely quick and easy for Luhan, and within a few minutes he'd returned back to Jongin with it wriggling in his arms.  
"Shall we kill it now and then cut into it and expose you to varying quantities of blood? Or keep it alive and cut into it whilst its alive and let it bleed as it's alive or? -- I know it sounds really inhumane and--"

"Because we're supposed to be building me up to facing live wounds, kill it this time around?"

Luhan cringed a bit but nodded. "I'll kill it behind the shed then, just in case it bleeds and gets on my hand, and yeah..."

Jongin nodded.

Luhan came back with the dead chicken in his arms and laid it on the grass beside them, instructing them both to sit down. He grabbed the knife and placed it beside the chicken's lifeless body and then glanced up at Jongin worriedly. "Are you sure about this? There's always time to turn back if you change your mind you know, I won't blame you."

"I'm sure. Quitting isn't an option."

Luhan sighed but nodded. He then glanced down at the lifeless body of the chicken. He plucked a few feathers off of its body and then showed the bare patch of skin to Jongin. Luhan lowered the knife, but glanced up at Jongin one final time for approval.

Jongin gulped a little but nodded. "Go on," he said, already feeling the fear and anxiousness pricking at his skin. He scolded himself for feeling that way, knowing Luhan hadn't even cut into yet and in his mind, he had no excuse to already feel so anxious about it.

Luhan placed the knife on the featherless patch on the chicken and ran the sharp blade of the knife down it, successfully slicing into its flesh. Blood hadn't bubbled to the surface as of yet, so Luhan pressed the knife a little further, and this time a small amount of blood trickled down the lifeless chicken's body.

Jongin winced.  
  
Luhan noticed this and stopped in his tracks. "Do you want me to stop?"  
  
Jongin shook his head. "No, keep going."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
It was when Luhan removed the knife from the chicken's body--the knife coated in a bright red substance--and the blood on it dropped onto its featherless patch of skin did Jongin finally realize what was going on and did things finally set in place for him. Within a second Jongin had jumped back and his features contorted into a wince. His eyes squeezed closed and before he could even process it, he'd curled up into a ball, placing his hands over his ears to block out whatever sounds he was hearing, though the only thing that could really be heard in that moment in time was the breeze that blew every so often and the breaths both Jongin and Luhan took.

"Whatever you're seeing isn't real, Jongin." Luhan reached forward and took Jongin's hand that was pressed tightly against his ear, and forced it down. Once Jongin's hand was off Jongin's ear, Luhan took the hand and place it in his own and gently held on, and for the first time since Luhan had sliced into the chicken's skin, Jongin seemed to relax.

"Just convince yourself that, okay? I'm here with you right now and I'm not imaginary. I can only imagine what it is you're seeing right now, but whatever it is you're seeing cannot hurt you, and it isn't your fault. You're not wrong for reacting this way but please remind yourself that it cannot hurt you, believe in me, okay? Believe in that."

Jongin nodded, seeming a little less stiff than a moment ago with Luhan's words.

Luhan let go of Jongin's hand. "Can you open your eyes for me, Jonginnie?"

Jongin gulped but did as asked.

"Should we stop?" Luhan asked seriously.

Jongin shook his head vehemently. "Keep going."

"Jongin..."

"I can't be weak," though the words came out weakly themselves, Luhan knew Jongin didn't see stopping as an option.

Luhan's eyes seemed to sadden, as well as cloud with worry and disbelief. Whatever Jongdae said to him, it'd left its impact. Luhan, though he wouldn't voice it aloud--knowing it'd likely be met with denial--believed Jongin's primary motivator here was Jongdae, that as much as he was doing it for himself, for the betterment, he was doing this for his brother. To prove that he could be as strong as possible, so he wouldn't let Jongdae down. It didn't always seem that way with the things he'd say, but Luhan knew Jongin put a lot of emphasis on team effort, in not being a burden, especially where Jongdae was concerned. "You're not weak! You witnessed your parents slaug--"  
  
"We don't have to talk about it, just keep going."

"I don't think we should, Jongin." Luhan sighed. "Not if it's making you like this."

"Luhan--"

"Seriously, Jongin. We can stop at any time, we don't have to do everything today. Maybe it's better if we stop for now and--"

Jongin's eyes narrowed and before Luhan could even finish his sentence, Jongin interrupted him, "you said you'd help me."

"And I am--! I just--"

"Then help."  
  
Luhan sighed, but nodded. He sliced further along the skin and winced at the squelchy sound it made. Blood was seeping out, re-coating the knife in the sticky red substance.  
"See?" Jongin said, no reaction visible on the outside. "Once the initial fear has subsided and I'm given time to react to it, then I'm okay. You just have to let me freak out about it first. I just have to keep at it, and keep pushing myself. Because the more I do that, the more results I get, the more effective they're going to be in the long run. If I give up now, I'm never going to get over it. I have to do this, Luhan. It's the only way. You can't get over a fear by hiding from it."

Luhan kept his eyes downcast, willing himself to not voice his disagreement. "Are you sure?"

Jongin nodded.

"So..." Luhan trailed off. "Is that enough for today, then? I know this taking a lot out of me, I can only imagine what it's doing to you."

"No," Jongin said, shaking his head. "It's not enough."

Luhan's eyebrows furrowed. "Then..."

"We've only just begun, Luhan. This is the first stage. Witnessing blood. The next is watching it trickle, then being exposed to larger quantities of blood. But you're right, we don't have to do everything today. This is all just the first stage. The second stage is to be exposed to a closer proximity wound with blood seeping out of it, and having the smell invade my nostrils. And the third and final stage is for me to do all I've just said and be able to touch it, and not have it bother me. It's going to take some time, of course. But I'm willing to put that effort in to overcome this."  
  
"So..."

"Cut into the chicken one more time. If it goes to plan, my reaction shouldn't be too drastic." Jongin nodded his head. "If like I'm predicting, it's not, then I think I want to up the level a bit."

Luhan gulped. "Up the level?"

Jongin didn't reply, but instructed Luhan cut even deeper into the chicken than before. At one point he even made his way over and leaned over Luhan, placing his hands atop Luhan's and helped redirect the knife so they could cut a perfect square out of the chicken's body. Jongin then directed them to stab into the middle of the square lightly and pull the entire square off the chicken, placing it on the grass besides them.

"You look so focused," Luhan mumbled.

Jongin nodded to himself. "Just like I predicted," he said. "It really doesn't bother me half as much when I'm given time to react to it first. The second time, the third... my reactions weren't half as extreme as the first time."

Luhan nodded. "They barely happened at all, you're right."

"But what I'm thinking is... this is just a chicken. Once I can get ahold of my mind and tell myself what happened back then really isn't repeating itself now... I'm able to differentiate between what's animal and what's human." Jongin laughed. "Which still means there's a long way to go. But we're making progress. Sooner than I ever anticipated. Which means it is possible and at some point, I will overcome it. All of it."

"Perhaps also the fact that it's dead is helping quench the fear and the reaction. Rather than being alive as it bleeds..." 

Jongin nodded. "You're right. That's definitely a factor, too." He turned to Luhan and looked him in the eye. "Pass me the knife," he then said.  
  
Luhan stilled. "W-what?"  
  
"I need the knife," Jongin repeated.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"To up the level."  
  
Luhan kept tight hold of the knife. "What does 'upping the level' entail, though?"  
  
Jongin laughed a little, noticing Luhan's reluctance to pass the knife over. "Do you not trust me?"  
  
"N-no, it's not that. It's just... can I please at least know what we're going to do next?"  
  
Jongin chewed at his bottom lip. "I want to try it with a human. So if you pass me the knife, perhaps I can cut into my own arm and--"  
  
"No," Luhan's reply was instantaneous. "No way in hell."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"You don't see what could go wrong here?!" Luhan sent Jongin an incredulous look. "I'm not letting you cut yourself! No."  
  
"Then can you cut me?"  
  
Luhan sent an even more incredulous look Jongin's way at this.  
  
Jongin crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm not going back until this takes place."  
  
Luhan sighed. "Jongin--please don't do this. It's too quick a leap. It won't end well, you know that."  
  
"Maybe I can handle it. Especially with how quickly things have progressed already..."  
  
"Jongin..."  
  
"Luhan, please."

"I'm not cutting you."

"Then let me--!"

Luhan gulped. "I-- I'll do it."

Jongin's eyebrows furrowed. "What?"

"I said I'll do it. If you won't go back until this takes place and you're serious about it, then I'll do it. I'll cut me."

Jongin nodded, looking extremely grateful. "Thank you."

Luhan took at deep breath, trying hard to push back his nerves. He pulled his sleeve up, revealing his forearm, and then placed the blade . Jongin was watching him intensely. Luhan winced as the blade flew across his skin, slicing the skin of his forearm. He didn't want to relive an experience like this again, now realizing just how much it hurt, but the one thing Luhan knew he'd never forget was Jongin's frozen expression as the blood bubbled to the surface and began to trickle down Luhan's forearm. Luhan could've sworn in those ten seconds he witnessed a wider range of emotions from Jongin than in how many years it'd been since he'd known the younger boy. He could see everything. The anxiousness, the confusion. The fear, the dread, the realization. The anger. What seemed like his life flashing before his eyes and the intensity of everything. Jongin's vision began to blur and before Luhan knew it, the taller, younger boy had fallen to the ground, unconscious.

"Oh god," was the first thing that left Luhan's mouth. "Jongin--!"

Luhan crouched down to Jongin's level and checked the younger still had a pulse. Thankfully, he did. "I knew this was a bad idea," Luhan muttered, sighing as he gently moved the hair that had fallen into the darker boy's face away from his eyes. "Now I have to drag you back to Jongdae and Yixing and explain why you've fainted, and then Jongdae's really going to hate me and aish. Jongin to say we really thought this through, we didn't think it through much at all, did we?" He then moved onto his knees, in a crouching position and hoisted Jongin's upper body to him. "C'mon, Jonginnie, we've got to go back and face the music. I'll let them blame everything on me. And aish, it's such a long trek back..."  
  
Just as Luhan was rising to his feet, something hit him hard on his head. "Wha--?" Was all he could get out before his own vision blurred and he also, like Jongin, lost conciousness.

It was in that moment that two masked figures slithered their way over, now in clear view.

"Ugh," one of the new voices grunted. "So they're Rogues. The boss will love us for this, won't he? He's wanted to get his hands on a few of those for months."

The second one laughed. The sound bone chilling. "He's going to be _so_ pleased."  
  
"Even in this light they look quite attractive too," The first one continued. "I wonder how they'll be when they wake up."

"We'll just have to see, won't we?" They shared a look. "Besides, I have been considering adding more to the little collection we've got going on. The more freaks, the merrier, right?"

"Exactly."


	6. Dangerous Kind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Md1gEvBytPw

For some reason that particular night, Jongdae had a lot of difficulty sleeping, even if he was exhausted. There was something twinging in the corners of his mind, telling him something was off, that something was greatly amiss.

He couldn’t place what it was but it definitely stopped sleep from arriving for at least a few hours. He finally settled on linking it towards his guilt, thinking it was the most rational approach. He was having difficultly falling asleep because he was writhing with guilt with what he’d said to both his brother and to Luhan. He’d even come to the conclusion that he was the sole reason they’d decided not to come back to camp that night, and slept by the river.

The thought of his brother having to curl up into a ball on the open grass of the riverbed that was probably dampened by the short sharp splashes of water from the river with no blanket or warmth protection, greatly unsettled him.

On top of that, being out in the open like that was dangerous, especially if the group had split up. But in that situation—with what his experience around these areas had been—he knew that it was practically impossible that a person would be the one to sneak up on them and pose threat. That reason in itself was because in all the years they’d been there no person had bothered them. No person had even ventured into the forests. Animals, yes. People, no.

Maybe reputation was a better advantage than he’d given it credit for, after all.

So in that instance Jongdae knew he didn’t have to worry about a threat posed by a human, but it still didn’t stop the guilt gnawing at his bones at the fact that both Jongin and Luhan were either too disgusted and potentially angry—in Jongin’s case—at what he’d said or too upset—in Luhan’s case—to come back to what was essentially their only home.

Even if it wasn’t a definite, concrete home.

It was the best they could get in their situation.

And Luhan and Jongin had every right to be in it, too.

Yixing on the other hand, slept like a log. The minute his head touched their less than stellar home-made blanketing, Yixing had dozed straight off to sleep. Jongdae realized it was probably because he was injured, that he needed the rest more than anything else. The Yixing that Jongdae knew was a person who at night, seemed especially aware and on edge of his surroundings. Checking every corner, and on everyone else, before he even humored the thought of allowing himself rest.

Jongdae sighed, once again allowing his thoughts to zap back to Luhan and Jongin. He contemplated going to check on them, possibly wrapping a blanket around them—or since they only had useless and itchy moss blankets left, take a piece of his over-clothing off and wrap it around them.

Until he realized he had no need.

Because Luhan had already seen to that. The day before.

Jongdae almost scoffed at himself upon the realization that yesterday it really was Luhan who had wrapped a ‘blanket’ around the then shivering Jongin, it was Luhan who tried to calm Jongin down. It was Luhan who made sure Jongin was okay at the time of Yixing’s bear attack, and it was Luhan who checked up on Jongin in the aftermath.

It was Luhan who stayed beside Jongin the whole night, to make sure for definite that Jongin was okay.

It was Luhan who was doing a better job than him with his own brother.

And if anyone had the most of Jongin’s respect from the events that had taken place, it was Luhan.

Not Jongdae.

So with that thought in mind, Jongdae dejectedly turned on his side, knowing it’d be better to face them in the morning and figure out some way to apologize, sincerely. He shuffled back into a sleeping position and tried to get a few hours of rest. They weren’t guaranteed by any means, but they were better than nothing. Even an attempt.

 

Jongdae hadn’t slept as well as he normally would, but he did catch a few hours, so didn’t want to complain as it was better than nothing.

When he woke, he saw that it was still quite dark; the clouds above them a dusky blue color. He presumed that the clock—if they had one—would have been nearing five AM. It was nearing winter, so it took the mornings longer to get light, and the evenings quicker to get dark. It was also getting progressively colder, but nothing they couldn’t handle.

He pushed himself up into a sitting position and glanced to his right, to see Yixing sleeping soundlessly.

Luhan and Jongin still weren’t back in the camp, and a twinge of uneasiness once again made itself present in Jongdae’s stomach.

It was worrying for Jongdae, especially with Luhan in mind.

Luhan was always up the earliest. Always the first to wake, the first to get up. First to wake the rest.

Jongin with mornings was either a hit or miss; some days he was up hours before everyone else, usually because he didn’t sleep the night before. Other days Jongin would sleep throughout the whole morning and make sure he was awake and revitalized for the night time.

Jongdae believed Jongin preferred night time to day time by a significant margin, but neither he or his brother had ever brought the topic up to discussion, probably not seeing it as important. 

Jongdae on the other hand, liked to sleep through the morning, wake up in the evenings and go back to bed for night time. Both of the brothers enjoyed their sleep, but at different times. Both of the brothers enjoyed their sleep, but with their lifestyles, didn’t exactly get enough of it.

Deciding enough was enough and he was ready to face Jongin and Luhan in person—to apologize, Jongdae inched closer towards the sleeping Yixing.

"Yixing?" He asked as he began to shake him awake. "Yixing, please wake up."

Yixing groaned. “Please,” he hissed.  _"Not there."_

Jongdae removed his hands in an instance, eyes widening. “Shit, I’m sorry… I didn’t—”

Yixing only grunted as he pushed himself up into a sitting position, trying his best to ignore the sharp pain that shot through his upper torso. “You look exactly like you did the day I found you here, Jongdae.” Yixing blinked as he took in Jongdae’s expression. “Like a scared little boy. What’s the matter?”

"It’s probably nothing." Jongdae looked the other way. "Never mind."

"Then why did you wake me up? I am injured, you know. Luhan says I need to get as much sleep as physically possible. Says it’ll help my condition and help me heal faster."

"You’re not the type who rests a lot, even when injured."

"Touché." Yixing chuckled to himself. "Anyway, there is something isn’t there? What is it?"

Jongdae didn’t reply and instead looked down at his feet.

"You’re nervous, aren’t you?"

Jongdae nodded. “How can I not be? What if what I said was the last straw and they’ve decided no more chances, this time? What do I do then? Jongin’s my brother and of course I don’t really hate Luhan, how could he think that?” Jongdae sighed. “I was just terrified and angry and frustrated and I took it out on the wrong people and pushed the ones I probably needed most away because it was the only thing I thought I could do and—” He stopped there, before he rolled his eyes and muttered a barely audible  _'you're an idiot, Kim Jongdae'_  to himself.

"Good thing you can’t shake me off, eh?" Yixing sent Jongdae a playful smile, as a twinkle lit up in his eyes. Jongdae only slumped his shoulders and sighed, not finding anything to be funny in his current situation. "But don’t worry, they’ll forgive you. Luhan doesn’t hold grudges."

"Neither does Jongin, you’re right. I should stop worrying." He then cast a glance at Yixing. "Should we go check on them, then?"

Yixing nodded. “But you’re doing all the apologizing!”

"I know." He sighed. "I suck at apologizing, though. What if it sounds in-genuine?"

"Jongin won’t really care if it sounds in-genuine, I’m guessing. And Luhan will know you mean well, so it’ll be fine. But even then, there’s still more to it, isn’t there?" Yixing asked as he forced himself up on to his feet. "What else is it, Jongdae?"

Jongdae chewed at his lip. “Okay I don’t want to sound like Jongin did, but… I really have had a bad feeling about something else and I can’t put my finger on what else it could be but it’s definitely there and I’ve felt this way since last night and—”

"It’s probably guilt."

"That’s what I thought at first, too. But then…"

"Then what?"

"I don’t know. I’m so jittery and I can’t think straight and there’s this nagging feeling that something’s wrong. Like  _gravely_  wrong. I sound exactly like Jongin did when he said he had a bad feeling about something the day you got attacked by the bear. And that’s what I’m saying! He had a bad feeling about something or a vibe or something and then it proved to be true, because you got attacked. For real. He genuinely  _knew_  something bad was going to happen. Now me, too?”

"Maybe you have a sixth sense. Both of you." Yixing then turned to Jongdae and asked, "is the nagging feeling about someone?"

"I don’t know, I just don’t like it. I want it to stop. Let’s go find Jongin and Luhan."

Yixing glanced at Jongdae wearily. “It  _is_  very odd that they’re not back yet, right?”

Jongdae also nodded wearily back at him.

 

Making their way out of their camp was easy enough, except Yixing’s steps were a little slower than usual. He seemed to be in pain still and Jongdae wished he knew what to do to help him, but he wasn’t let in on the intricate ways and methods of medicine and definitely wouldn’t be able to replace any bandages, knowing the wounds that would lay behind said bandages would be smeared in the one thing he could not deal with. Ever. Dried or not.

Once they made out of the clearing and neared the grassy riverbank, they realized that Jongin and Luhan also weren’t there.

"That’s odd," Jongdae noted with furrowed eyebrows. "They’re not here, either."

Yixing seemed to freeze. “Hm?” Sounding a little dumbfounded. Why wouldn’t Jongin and Luhan be there?

"Jongin’s not sitting by the river," Jongdae repeated, though replacing his words here and there. "Neither is Luhan."

Yixing’s eyebrows seemed to be perpetually furrowed. “But that spot right there,” he said pointing to the patch of grass near the river. “Is where Jongin was sitting yesterday as my wounds were getting stitched up and I’m certain he didn’t move after Luhan and I had a quick nap. Luhan even went to check up on him… they must’ve stayed the night… so how? Why? They  _have_  to be there.”

Jongdae felt a shiver run through his spine, he couldn’t explain it once again, but that nagging feeling that something was very off seemed to only strengthen with every step they took. “Are you not listening to me? I said they’re not there right now!” Jongdae was feeling anxious. He knew Yixing already knew that Jongin and Luhan weren’t there but… that nagging feeling just wouldn’t shake off, and Yixing seemed to be in somewhat of a trance, almost as if he wasn’t really listening to the words he’d said to him. Yixing needed to snap out of it, Jongdae needed to snap out of it. They both needed to focus. He had to do something.

Yixing blinked, casting a confused glance Jongdae’s way. “But…” He shook his head, shaking his hair out of his eyes. “They have to be there,” he repeated nervously. “Maybe we’re not looking hard enough.”

"Or maybe they magically acquired the ability to turn invisible or transport and are playing a trick on us, yeah?"

"Sarcasm doesn’t become you, young one."

Jongdae rolled his eyes. “Let’s just look further.”

"No," Yixing suddenly said, but he didn’t seem to be referencing nor directing it Jongdae’s way. "Maybe the village?"

Jongdae nearly scoffed. “You’re joking, right? Why would they be at the village?”

Yixing looked genuinely surprised at Jongdae’s words. “Why wouldn’t they be?”

"Because—Jongin." Jongdae screwed his eyes closed. "Jongin wouldn’t go to the village without me. I believe in that much. They’re _not_ at the village.”

"Jongdae…" Yixing trailed off, eyes seeming to sadden.

"Don’t," Jongdae said stiffly. "Let’s just look elsewhere first, alright? They could be at the opposite end of the forest. They might’ve set a camp up for a night or a couple of nights back where you chopped the wood. It’s not impossible. I did say some horrible things and left Luhan under the impression that I hated him and we’ve had to develop adaptability with this lifestyle to begin with, so…"

Yixing nodded. “You’re right. Let’s check there first.”

 

Tall lines of trees on either end in a perfectly straight line, the opposite end of the forest was much more presentable. It was cleaner cut, much more narrow and cramped, but definitely easier on the eyes than where they’d set up camp. The grass didn’t ever seem to grow beyond its current length and the branches on the trees didn’t stick out or look unsightly. If the group cared more about image than productivity and usefulness, Jongdae was sure they would’ve set camp up on this end.

But as it was narrower, they would’ve been cramped. Not only that, had a predator—human or animal—found them, they’d have a higher chance of being found at this side. A lower chance of escaping.

Thankfully, they valued productivity and usefulness over image and obviously their lives also, so set camp up at the other end.

He couldn’t deny this end of the forest was nice to look at, however.

In the instance that he cared for that kind of thing, which he usually didn’t.

Yixing popped out from behind a tree.

Jongdae didn’t even jump, being used to being surprised in such ways by the elder.

"They’re not there either?" Jongdae asked.

"No," Yixing said with a sigh.

Jongdae winced. “Then I guess that leaves us no other option than the village. Right?”

"What about the forest across the bridge? You know, the darker, eerie one. The one that’s really night-like even in the mornings, too?"

"Why would they go there, though?"

"Hmm." Yixing blinked. "Maybe it’s just me but I noticed that Jongin seems to prefer night time to day time… maybe I’m wrong though…"

"No, no," Jongdae said. "I actually noticed the same thing. But Luhan… he prefers day time, right?"

"As far as I’m aware, yes. But maybe he felt like a change."

"You could be right. Shall we check, then?"

Yixing nodded and they went on their way.

 

"Pretty sure they wouldn’t camp out here," Jongdae muttered as they made their way through the forest covered in towering trees. "This place is creepy as fuck."

There was barely any light to be seen, the trees so overpowering and tall and thick, reaching so high up that they blocked the light from above.

A surrounding mist also appeared as they made their way further down the pathway. But said same mist, always seemed to be present, at least in Yixing and Jongdae’s past experiences with said forest.

"Isn’t there lots of tales about this place, too?" Yixing asked, seeming to shrink further towards Jongdae. "It even has a name, right?"

Jongdae nodded. “Foreseen or forsaken forest or something? Something along those lines anyway.”

"I don’t think any of us like being in this place, do we? Is that why we try visit the village so scarcely?"

"Probably."

"I know Luhan doesn’t like being in here much, either. I agree with you with them probably not wanting to camp out here. Who would?" Yixing shivered. "Though we don’t mean to eavesdrop when we do visit the village we used to hear people talk, and they seemed to talk about the outskirts—where we are and then even further on—which obviously none of us have ever been to. Apparently this forest, though, it instils a fear within anyone who makes their way into it after some time or something? I can’t recall directly but they never fail to mention the fact that there’s something  _off_  with the place.”

"Well they’re somewhat right at least. There’s definitely something  _off_  about the place.”

Yixing nodded. “We should probably speed up, they’re not in here either, are they?”

Jongdae let out a barely detectable sigh. “Definitely not. Guess the village really is our last stop.”

 

Once they’d placed their first step into the village, Jongdae turned to Yixing. “I still don’t think they’d be at the village,” he said. “What reason would they need to be?”

"I’m not sure myself," Yixing said, trying to give Jongdae a light hearted shrug with both his shoulders. He was in pain, so he stopped. "Perhaps we have to place ourselves into their mindsets for a minute?"

"That’d probably help a lot, you’re right. So you do it for Luhan and I’ll do it for Jongin?"

Yixing nodded. “Unless,” he said chuckling. “You want to decode Luhan’s possible thoughts that night yourself?”

"I don’t think I could play Luhan even if I tried. He’s probably the last member of this little group whose thoughts I’d ever be able to understand, I don't get the guy. Besides you know him a lot better than I do. Just like I know Jongin better than you do."

Yixing raised one eyebrow. “Hmm,” he said, words coated in a playful lilt. “That’s debatable.”

Jongdae’s eyes instantly narrowed at Yixing.

"Okay, okay. Never mind, you know Jongin best." He then shifted his weight onto his other foot. "So we’ll start with Luhan, yes? Because it’ll make more sense to go through them one at a time?"

Jongdae nodded.

"After we’d talked about what went down, he patched me up. We then slept. I woke up first and decided I really needed to see you, to check on you. Luhan thought it’d be wise to check up on Jongin. So he went on his way. Once there I’m presuming he sat down and asked Jongin if he was okay. Considering the fact that he doesn’t like the Foreseen Forest place, and clings onto me really tightly every time we pass through it, I’m guessing it was really important whatever it was for them to have to go through with it and get to the village, right? If they did go through it and are actually at the village, that is."

"Or…" Jongdae trailed off, before stopping to narrow his eyes. "That mother fucker. I’m going to skin him alive!"

"What?"

_"Jongin."_

Yixing blinked at Jongdae. “I don’t think I’m catching on, Jongdae. What happened?”

Jongdae’s eyes were still narrowed as he dug his foot into the sandy ground, avoiding Yixing’s eyes entirely. “Yesterday. I told him his reaction to the blood was… well that he should’ve—in that situation—been able to push it aside and help you, and obviously I was mad and frustrated and angry and—” He sighed, seeming to be angry at himself.

"What else?" Yixing asked, knowing there was more to come by Jongdae’s reaction.

Jongdae closed his eyes and exhaled sharply. “I told him that it was impacting his growth and that he was inexperienced and practically still a child. Basically that his fear of blood wasn’t justified and that in that kind of situation he should be able to push it back, otherwise you would’ve died, had Luhan not been there. I implied that he was in the wrong and the sole reason you were attacked by the bear and I really only said it to emphasize the fact that when we’re split up we have weaknesses but together they’re all covered but you know how Jongin is with that type of thing, with his determination to better himself and improve and if it’s anything like I’m thinking it is then—” Jongdae glanced down at his feet, gulping. “I’m a mother fucking idiot. I know exactly how that kid is and I still said it?  _Jesus fucking Christ.”_

Yixing’s free hand dropped to his side as his eyes widened as the seriousness of the situation dawned on him. “Oh no,” he said.

 _"Exactly."_ Jongdae shook his head in disbelief. “Which then means in Luhan’s case, Jongin probably used a sob story or something along those lines and that was enough to convince Luhan to go with him.”

Yixing nodded. “Luhan’s too gentle. He can’t really say no. And he probably felt bad, realizing the only way to help Jongin was to join him and then on top of that is the fact that Luhan obviously wouldn’t allow Jongin to go by himself, feeling a responsibility for him. But not before worrying about how we’d react to it, but caved because of the pressure of Jongin and—” Yixing chewed on his lip. “So we need to be further in the village, don’t we?”

"We need to look for a farm."

"There’s one really close to here. But Guards…?"

"Eh, we’ll just keep a watch out for them. If they don’t see us enter this way then we can pretend we’re something to do with the farm. We’ll be fine. Probably." He waved his hand in a blasé manner. "Attack them, if not. We'll make it out alive, don't worry. I'm not in the mood not to."

Yixing peered at Jongdae contemplatively. "Let’s go, then."

Jongdae gave Yixing an affirmative nod and they began to make their way to the nearest farm. Which, like Yixing said, wasn’t far at all.

 

Jongdae tapped his foot impatiently after they’d entered the farm’s gate. “They better still be at the village or I swear—”

Yixing sent him a quick glance. “I’m sure they will be. Where else would they go?”

Jongdae nodded, but it wasn’t a confident nod. He then scoffed slightly. “It’s a scary world out there, Yixing. Believe me.”

"Wasn’t I the one who taught you that?"

Jongdae nodded much more confidently this time. “You did teach me a lot of what I know, but there are some things I learned myself. And a few of those things are the fact that evil shows up in the strangest of places. That we’re not safe. That we’re weaker when we’re not together. That if Jongin’s subjected to blood, he freaks the fuck out. Just like me. That if he’s willingly put blood in front of himself in an unfamiliar setting, especially at night… especially unguarded with the two of them and the fact that—” Jongdae stopped there, trying not to make the shaking of his hands obvious to Yixing. “But, eh,” Jongdae then said, smiling brightly. “Maybe they knocked on someone’s door and are staying in an actual house for a night? It’s not impossible.” It was kind of impossible, but anything was a better alternative than _that._ Jongdae wouldn't allow himself to entertain the thought of it. 

Yixing didn’t look convinced. He could tell Jongdae had more to say before he trailed off his original point, but chose not to push forward for it. “Maybe for someone else, yes. But not people like us, Jongdae.”

Jongdae puffed out his cheeks, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m sure I’d be able to make a favorable impression. Wanna test it? I bet we could knock on anyone’s door right now and be able to convince them to let us stay over — which, by the way— wouldn’t even need to be by threat.” It would need to be by threat, he was well aware. There was no way they didn't look like 'Rogues' at that moment in time, stereotypically. 

Yixing shook his head. “Why would we want to? Why would Jongin and Luhan want to do that? Besides, Luhan really isn’t that fond of the _actual_ village. I’m confident that he wouldn’t want to stay over night here. He’s actually really perfectionist when we visit here, you know? Always hyper alert and aware and making sure no one notices us. He insists every single time that an instance like that — _that we’re noticed_ — is the worst case scenario. Which of course I already know, but.”

"Well he is right. If we get noticed and then someone follows us and realizes who we are, we’re screwed."

"Exactly." Yixing then chuckled good naturedly. "Also that’s probably the first time for the past few days I’ve seen you speak a good word about Luhan."

Jongdae rolled his eyes, which made Yixing sigh. “Why does it even matter?”

"Most of the time, from what I’ve noted, you don’t seem to recognize that Luhan is a tactician in his own right, is all."

"I guess that’s because I’ve never really witnessed his supposed tactical genius first hand, you know? It’s a bit hard to compliment something you don’t know for sure actually exists."

Yixing tapped his foot against the floor in a calm manner. “He’s the reason a lot of our plans and procedures actually hold through, you know?”

"You seem to have a lot of faith in Luhan, Yixing."

"Of course," Yixing said instantly. "I don’t trust a lot of people, but he’s definitely the most trustworthy person I’ve ever known. He’s my best friend, my closest companion."

Jongdae huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. “What about me, huh? I’m not your best friend now, huh? Aish, and here I was thinking we had something special.” There was an amused smile playing at Jongdae’s lips, clearly indicating that he was joking.

"You’re just as important," Yixing said, genuinely meaning every word. "But you’re like my baby brother. Just like with you and Jongin, you’re someone I feel I have to protect. Regardless of how much you grow and age. I’ll always remember the day I found you both."

Jongdae puffed his cheeks out. “Baby brother?” He muttered. “I’m only like a year younger than you. Anyway, let’s go find said baby brother.” He smiled brightly at Yixing, convincing himself he was over thinking it. They'd probably fallen asleep in the farm. 

...Probably. 

Yixing laughed. “You seem so happy all of a sudden.”

"I guess. Life’s unpredictable, and no how much we learn, figure out and plan, we still don’t know everything. And that’s the way it’s always going to be. If instances like this are going to take place, I don’t want Jongin or Luhan believing my opinion of them is much lower than what it actually is, you know? Why argue with Jongin? What do I get out of it? An upset me and an upset brother? It’s not worth it. I’ve realized that. If that means throwing away my pride and apologizing for hurting him and making him feel like what he was doing wasn’t enough, then I will. Even if I have to get on my knees and beg for forgiveness." His nose crinkled at the thought. "He deserves that much from me though, right? So let’s go. I've got this."

"I feel proud, suddenly."

"Shut up, Yixing." Jongdae crossed his arms over his chest. "You always have to make a joke out of everything don’t you?"

"You’re saying that as if you don’t, too!"

Jongdae rolled his eyes. “I don’t,” he said seriously. “I’m serious all the time.” It took him less than five seconds before he cracked, and burst out into laughter. “Okay maybe not. Whatever. Let’s go.”

"We’ve got brothers and best friends to find. They’re probably waiting on us, too, I suppose."

Jongdae’s nose crinkled. “Why would they be waiting on us if they left—which is my rational presumption—really early in the morning knowing we were both asleep?”

"Fair point. But what if they’ve got into trouble? Even if they left with the intention of us not finding out, they must’ve known with them not being there we’d sense something was off, right?"

Jongdae nodded.

 

"Where are the Guards and village watchers? Also are they different to Nightwatchers?" Yixing was generally only speaking to himself as he asked these questions, pondering out loud. He then turned to Jongdae upon the realization that he hadn’t spoken since they began to make their way around the small farm. "Are you alright?"

Jongdae didn’t reply. Instead he only moved ahead, completely blanking Yixing out.

Yixing almost scoffed at his retreating form, before he stopped moving entirely. “You look so serious and focused all of a sudden,” he muttered. “I almost mistook you for Jongin for a second then.”

Jongdae rolled his eyes. “Hurry,” he said, once again zooming off ahead.

"Alrighty then, _Jongdae-morphed-Jongin!”_  Yixing tried to reach Jongdae’s pace, but in his condition, it was difficult. “Whoa,” Yixing rasped as he finally caught up to Jongdae. “Can you slow down a bit, I am injured. It’s a little bit harder manoeuvring around places in this state if you haven’t already noticed.”

Jongdae was staring at the ground in sheer contemplation, narrowing his eyes in thought at a particular blade of grass.

"Are you sure you’re alright?"

"Perfectly fine," Jongdae finally said.

"Jongdae, are you sure? Did something happen?"

"Possibly."

"Why are your answers so short and snippy, what's going on?"

"Because I’m thinking. Stop distracting me."

Yixing’s eyes widened as Jongdae once again scooted off ahead, leaving him in his wake.

"Yixing, hurry up. We don’t have all day."

"Jongdae—"

"Just walk with me and stop talking okay! We have to get this done now."

"What are we even doing?"

"Finding traces."

"Why?"

"Because they’re clearly not here either! Isn’t it obvious?" He then bent down and made an ‘aha’ sound as his eyes landed on an object with a metal blade. Exactly what he’d been expecting. "Pick it up," he said, turning his attention towards Yixing.

Yixing tried to indicate to his wrapped up arm, the fact that his balance wouldn’t be as great if he bent down to reach it, but Jongdae paid no mind to it.

"I’m not touching it, Yixing. Pick it up."

Yixing scoffed. “Okay then, Mr bossy.” It took some effort, but the elder finally got the knife into his one hand and held it up for Jongdae to see, dried blood on the blade and all. Yixing quickly flipped it so the handle was at the top and willingly held onto the blade instead, but at the blunt part of the blade.

Jongdae blinked, seeming to come out of his haze. “So if it’s what I think it is, that means they took their knives—”

"They didn’t their knives," Yixing said instantly. "This isn’t one of ours."

"Right," Jongdae said. "Did you find your knife, by the way?"

"No."

"Okay. Back to the main point. Obviously if they didn’t take their knives they stole one from the village stalls. They must’ve sneaked into here and caught an animal, which the farmer has probably already cleared out because he’s used to it by now, I guess. That or the dead thing is still lying around here somewhere. After this they began to cut into the chicken—or other farm animal, but most likely chicken. Probably because Jongin more than likely went on a mission of determination, which then means—" He stopped walking and blinked. "I don’t have anything else to suggest after this because nothing else is piecing togethe—" Jongdae then froze as his eyes landed on the next object lying neatly on the ground, gleaming in the light.

"Jongdae?" Yixing asked as he finally caught back up with Jongdae. The use of his name rang in Jongdae’s ears but he couldn’t focus on it.

Jongdae couldn’t even blink. His feet were literally frozen in place, feeling as if they were made of concrete as his eyes stared down at said gleaming object. It was silver, and ticking, Roman numerals in exchange for numbers. But the most haunting thing, was that the pocketwatch wasn't new. It was the exact same one he'd found that night--same markings and engravings, same rust and faded stains--the one he'd then kept in his inventory for years to come--the only trace he had of an unnamed enemy. For it to be there, in the farm, as the sole indicator that They had paid a visit, evidently, meant that they had to have taken it some time prior, _from_ their camp, whilst they were in it. Perhaps not, perhaps when the group had gone on a hunt, but it still remained, that unlike he'd tried to ensure, They knew where he was, They knew where to locate him. Even years after the fateful event that night.

Meaning they'd been around a lot more than he could've ever imagined, sneaking in the shadows, all whilst Jongdae hadn't even had an inkling. No sign nor signal.

That or the pocketwatch had ended up in Luhan or Jongin's pockets and had simply fallen out, but the odds of that were almost nil. Luhan didn't know about the pocketwatch, Jongin did, but Jongdae knew his brother wouldn't ever take it without asking first. Even if they'd argued.

Plus the two were missing. Logically... the odds weren't pointing in that direction.  

Yixing’s eyes also followed what Jongdae was staring so intently at. "A pocketwatch?" Yixing’s asked as his eyebrows furrowed. "What the—?"

"We have to get out of here."

"Wait, what—?" Yixing barely had time before Jongdae had scooped said pocketwatch into his hands and wrapped his other hand around Yixing’s good arm and began to drag them out of the farmers’ garden.

"We have to get out of here,  _right now.”_

"Jongdae—"

"I won’t say it again Yixing.  _Move.”_

Yixing blinked, completely taken aback.

"I’ll explain when we get back to camp but we really have to go, right now."

"I can’t believe I’m saying this but you’re kind of scaring me right now, Jongdae. What’s going on?"

Jongdae didn’t reply. He didn’t say anything on the way back, rushing through the Foreseen Forest and over the stone bridge and definitely not as they passed the river and the riverbed, making their way back to camp.

 

_~//~_

_It was in that moment that two masked figures—who’d been tailing Jongin and Luhan since they’d been in the foggy forest—slithered their way over, now in clear view._

_"Ugh," one of the new voices grunted. "So they’re Rogues. The boss will love us for this, won’t he? He’s wanted to get his hands on a few of those for months.”_

_The second one laughed. The sound was bone chilling. “He’s going to be so pleased.”_

_"Even in this light they look quite attractive too," The first one continued. "I wonder how they’ll be when they wake up."_

_"We’ll just have to see, won’t we?" They shared a look. "Besides, I have been considering adding more to the little collection we’ve got going on. The more freaks, the merrier, right?"_

_"Exactly."_

There was a stabbing pain in his head when he tried to move it. His eyes stung when he opened them and he almost screamed when his opened eyes were met with pure darkness. No sound would come out of his mouth, so he tried to thrash and wiggle his way out, but his legs wouldn’t move. He could hear everything happening around him, he could smell everything around him, but he couldn’t move. He felt he had no control of his body, nor any autonomy. Like he was losing control of his mind.

And nothing was more terrifying than that.

He tried to pull away again, but just like the last time, he couldn’t move.   
  
This went on for what seemed to be hours to Jongin, but was probably only thirty minutes in real time.

Eventually after what felt like forever, whatever it was that had been put on him, or  _in_ him gradually began to wear off. And this time when he opened his eyes, he was still met with darkness, but came to the realization that it was just a blindfold. When he thrashed forward, he was pulled back, but soon realized he was pulled back into a person’s chest. Wrists bonded. Feet bonded. Eyes covered.

When he tried to speak, his voice croaked out a weak,  _"Wha—?"_

The blindfold was suddenly ripped off his features. Not gently. Not gently at all. The impact made made Jongin wince.

A harsh laugh then rang in his ears. Before it inched closer and whispered, eerily, “I wouldn’t struggle too much if I were you, honey. It’ll only make you  _bleed.”_

Jongin froze. But the warning soon had the desired effect, as he instantly stopped struggling.

"We presume from the scene earlier on that you’re not very fond of blood at all, are you?"

Jongin tried to blank the voice out. He squeezed his eyes closed. This couldn’t have been real. It had to be a nightmare.

A harsh slap echoed.   _"Do not ignore me._ I do not like being ignored.”

With one of his bonded hands he reached forward and pinched as hard as he could at the skin from the opposite hand, hoping to wake himself up. It couldn’t be real, it had to be a nightmare.

"You’re not dreaming either, sweetheart."

Jongin’s shoulders seemed to slump. “Where am I? Where’s Lu—” Before he could even finish his sentence he was kicked harshly in the side by what felt like a steel capped boot. He cringed and let out a hiss of pain.

The voice was getting closer to him, too close for comfort. It was then when Jongin realized the voice really was much closer than he’d earlier anticipated. He was actually being held in its  _arms,_  being dragged along. “I wouldn’t worry too much about your friend, honey. Fear for yourself.  _I’m_  the scarier one.”

"Huh?"

"They’re so boring when they’ve just woken up and are disorientated. Maybe you need another dose, might make this more fun."

Jongin’s eyes widened. “A-another dose?  _Of what?”_

"Don’t struggle," the voice hissed sharply. "And go back to sleep or I’ll just have to inject you once more."

Jongin didn’t respond, he didn’t know how to. He didn’t know where he was. Who it was holding him against their chest. He didn’t know where Luhan was, whether he was still alive or not… he had no idea what had happened. All he could recall was the witnessing of the blood before everything went black.

"You leave me no choice then, pretty boy," the voice was chilling, ice cold and demanding. But the eerie echoing quality to it made him shiver. Not only the feeling the voice gave off, but the actual physical sensation of it as it spoke was bone chillingly cold.

Jongin almost choked when the one holding him jerked forward. It now had a hold of his neck.

"Pretty boy?" He then asked, his voice’s strength slightly coming back. His eyebrows furrowed together, his nose slightly crinkled. "Who are you people?"

"Not people, for starters." The hand that was around his neck snaked its way along Jongin’s arm, before wrapping it around his toned upper torso, pulling him even closer.

Jongin tensed up. “What are you doing?” His voice didn’t waver or croak this time, instead it sounded commanding, bordering on threatening. It practically translated to _‘get your hands off me’._

"Don’t be shy," the voice whispered against his ear. Jongin cringed and tried to pull away, but just like last time, he was pulled back.

The voice let out another bone chilling laugh, as it noted this. “You don’t like being touched?” He could almost feel its smirk.  _"Good."_

Jongin didn’t reply. Instead tried to manoeuvre his feet, and try get them out. This also didn’t go unnoticed.

"The bind won’t come off that easily, kid." It then leaned forward and placed its lips against his exposed neck before trailing its way up to his ear.

 _"Get off me,"_  Jongin hissed as it nibbled against his ear lobe.

"I can almost taste the unwillingness radiating off of you, I love it.”

Jongin felt sick to his stomach, a bile like substance beginning to make its way up his throat. He squeezed his eyes closed, wanting whatever this was to be over soon. But evidently, that wasn’t going to be the case.

"I wonder if you’ll put up as much fight as our little platinum blond back home. I love kicking that kid back into place." He could actually feel its lips pull up into a smirk against his neck this time. "His tortured little cries, whimpers and screams. Oh how they give me life. I wonder how yours will sound.”

Jongin pulled his bound hand into a tight fist, willing it to be over.

Wanting whatever it was that was that was taking place to hurry up and end.

"Both you and your friend over there are very pretty. I wonder how well you’d do in that kind of work. I guess we’ll have to wait and see,  _hm?”_

"Narsha—" The other one piped up, its voice less confident but still bone chillingly eerie. Jongin used this time to glance up. He saw that this other masked figure was holding an unconscious Luhan against its chest. He let a barely audible sigh of relief. At least he was still alive.

"Shut up, Ga In," ‘Narsha’ spat. "You do realize between us two, it is  _I_ who holds the power, don’t you?”

"But you’re not the  _one_  in charge. You may be high up on the food chain but you’re not at the top. There will always be two above us, Narsha. You know that.”

"You’re such a goody two shoes, I swear." Narsha then chortled. "I think it would interesting to see what would come of it. Come of them."

"They’re  _Rogues!_  They’re trained in different aspects. There’s so much potential in the both of them. To throw them to that corner and make them do what we force the others to do would be  _wasting_  them.”

"But he seems so unwilling! Like the line of work we’d force him into would be the worst possible thing for him. So demeaning. Especially for an evidently well trained ‘Rogue’, anyway."

"He also seems like he can defend himself." Ga In seemed to sigh. "Besides, you know that’s not what we’ve taken them in for. We have a bigger purpose for them."

Narsha rolled her eyes. “We’ll discuss where we’re putting them when we get back home. For now it’s undecided, give yours another dose. I’ll do the same for this one.”

Jongin was actually glad for the dose of whatever it was they were injecting into him this time, because at least that way he’d be unaware of what was taking place. And wherever it was they were dragging them off to.

Which he could only presume was even worse than what was currently taking place.

To a extremely heightened degree. 


	7. Believe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dnXqV6Mh2jY

Yixing was out of breath entirely by the time they reached their camp. He was in a lot of pain with his arm, also. Something Jongdae hadn't seemed to be taking into account as he haphazardly dragged them through the remaining square inches left of the village from the farm and straight through the Foreseen Forest, then over the bridge and past the river and the riverbed, before finally reaching their destination.

Yixing sighed in relief once they reached the camp. Shaking Jongdae's hold off him, he went to take a seat on one of the stumps of the trees. His entire body was in pain, and he really needed Luhan's assistance, he realized it in that moment. He needed to replace the bandages, to check up on the wounds. Possibly to disinfect the wounds all over again.

He didn't want an infection, an infected wound that hadn't been properly disinfected and treated with utmost care, could take his life from him. Yixing didn't want that. Yixing lived a life that could result in reopening of wounds and potential infestations at any given second.

But he wouldn't, whatever it took, he wouldn't allow himself to get to that point. To die. He'd have to find a way to survive and replace the bandages without Luhan's help, because the current odds of finding them seemed to not fall in their favor. Yixing couldn't leave Jongdae all alone. He promised he never would. He knew that the younger had already been through too much suffering to have to face any more. But as he cast a glance over to the younger man, who was staring intently at the pocketwatch in his grasp, he sighed.

He had no idea what was going on.

What the pocketwatch signified.

Why it was even there.

Why Jongdae looked so frozen to the spot the minute his eyes fell onto it. Why he demanded that Yixing pick it up and hand it over. Why they had to leave as though their lives were in grave danger, why Jongdae seemed to completely disregard Yixing's wounded state and pull him along as though he was in mint condition. Unless... their actually lives were in grave danger?

Was everything a lot worse than Yixing had originally anticipated? Even if he had realized something was amiss--which was hard not to when he took Jongdae's behavior into account--he still held onto the hope that Luhan and Jongin had disappeared on their own accord. But the more he thought about it, the less likely that outcome seemed to be. 

Rather than just run away for whatever reason... had Luhan and Jongin been taken against their will? Yixing couldn't say for certain, but he decided to voice his question to Jongdae, to hopefully find out. Even if his words shook, he wanted to find the answer out. "Have they been... kidnapped?"

The word 'kidnapped' seemed to snap something inside of Jongdae, and Jongdae's entire posture straightened as he looked directly at Yixing and blinked. The younger's hold on the pocketwatch tightened but he didn't say a word. His eyes never left Yixing's, and Yixing gulped because no matter how he tried, how he searched Jongdae's eyes, he couldn't decipher the emotion or message behind them.

There was something there, something he was trying to convey to Yixing, but it was so... frozen looking and hollow. A flicker of an emotion that Yixing couldn't identify completely. Until he glanced again.

It was in that second, the second Yixing blinked, that he saw it. He saw fear.

But not just any kind of fear, the petrified kind. The type of fear that leaves one frozen to the spot. In complete and utter denial. The kind of fear that possesses a person and makes them run tens of thousands of miles in the opposite direction, barricade themselves away from civilization. The kind of fear that well and truly changes a person from within, mercilessly stealing something from their being that they can never truly reclaim. Regardless of how they may try.

For that split second he saw it. The vulnerability. That same hauntingly confused and vulnerable expression that mirrored in both Jongdae and Jongin's faces the first time Yixing stumbled across them, all those years ago. But the difference between the brothers then, was that Jongdae--evidently the elder of the two--knew something the younger didn't.

Now it was that Jongdae knew something Yixing didn't.

"Could they..."

Before Yixing could even finish Jongdae swiftly cut their eye contact short. Yixing was still watching him and his reactions intently and the next thing he knew, the haunting look he'd witnessed from Jongdae that day all those years ago that had ingrained itself so deeply into Yixing's memory morphed into a blazing hatred, an unparalleled anger.

A defiance that wouldn't back down, a fire of fury that wouldn't be extinguished, at least not until it had saw its purpose through. An exact opposite of the vulnerability, milliseconds prior.

"Jongdae?" Yixing was worried. It was evident Yixing was worried. Jongdae chose to ignore this worry. To blank it out and pretend it wasn't there.

He didn't like pity and he didn't like to be the one others worried about.

"It's just a game of hide and seek, Yixing." His voice held no hint of emotion and his expression was entirely blank. "A deranged, messed up game of hide and seek. You snooze, you lose. That's what they're saying."

"But the... pocketwatch?"

"Let's not talk about it. Let's just play along. Let's find them."

 

Yixing became even more confused and steadily more disorientated with every corner Jongdae forced them to turn. With each spot they looked over and over. They'd been around in circles, and revisited the same spaces they'd check earlier and came up with nothing, yet again.

"Jongdae, I'm--" Yixing was out of breath, his muscles aching and his wounds feeling like they were about to tear back open. He had slept earlier, but like Luhan had said, in his condition it wasn't wise for him to deny himself of any rest at all. That he shouldn't abuse his body and absolutely should give in when the urge to sleep came along. He currently felt like he wouldn't be able to keep upright for much longer at all. If there was any point in time where he genuinely needed the rest and would've swapped it for anything else, it was right now.

"Maybe they're just exceptionally good at hiding?"

"You're not even referencing Jongin and Luhan at all here, are you?"

Jongdae didn't reply and Yixing let out the sigh he'd suppressed.

"We've already checked in every plausible place, Jongdae. I don't want to make this about me, you know I hate that, but I really do need to sit down. Can we please go back to camp and rest a little while?"

Jongdae pursed his lips but eventually nodded as his eyes scanned over the elder. He looked like he was genuinely about to collapse.

After assisting him back to the camp, Yixing fell asleep the minute his body hit the ground.

Jongdae, however, found that he couldn't sleep at all. He'd already had enough sleep the previous night, and was running on the excess energy and adrenaline he'd cooped up. The fear and the anxiousness, the hyper-awareness, none of it would allow him to relax and sleep.

It was then when he felt the first drop of rain fall from the sky and hit against his skin, and his eyes squeezed closed out of instinct as an onslaught of memories attacked him from every possible angle. It had been this way ever since he'd stumbled upon the existence of the pocketwatch in the farmer's field not long since.

Every little thing would remind him of his brother, and he'd find a way to connect memories from the most insignificant happenings.

 

_It was a foggy day, Monday, Jongdae presumed. Rain had fallen the previous night and coated the beautiful patch of forest where the brothers currently perched in a glistening blanketed sheen._

_Jongdae's nose scrunched up at the sight of the wettened supplies._

_The now soiled food and drenched spare clothes lying beside them._

_The dampness of the clothes that they currently wore. The squelchiness of the mud they sat atop._

_Watching his brother with a piqued interest, Jongin asked, "You don't like the rain?"_

_"Not particularly," Jongdae replied, facial expression souring. "Do you?"_

_Jongin's facial expression didn't change much, but there was a hint of a smile playing on his features. "I find it calming."_

_Jongdae's eyebrows furrowed together. "Calming?"_

_"Listening to the sound the raindrops make as they hit against the trees seems to relax me, I suppose."_

_"I just find it annoying. Bothersome. Something we could do without. I hate damp clothes."_

_"You act like you're the one who's washing them most often," there was a teasing lilt to Jongin's words, a playfulness that Jongdae wasn't used to, as it didn't show up very often. It left the elder blinking in surprise._

_"Yah," Jongdae said, puffing his cheeks out. "Maybe it's not me who washes them most often, but I still have to every so often with the little rotational wash-the-clothes system we've applied. Besides, it doesn't just apply to the clothes we're not wearing, it applies to the clothes we're wearing right now as well. They're getting damp and it's annoying."_

_"As if that same instance doesn't apply every time we wash ourselves, though? We don't exactly have anything to dry ourselves off with. Unless we use the spare clothes to dry ourselves with, but as far as I'm aware with you, that's also out of the equation?"_

_Jongdae scrunched up his nose. "That's different." He drummed_   _his fingers against the ground, and cringed when they brushed against the wettened mud, making a squelching noise underneath his hands. "And it's different because when we wash ourselves, we're choosing to wash ourselves. So we're prepared to get wet, we're choosing to, and we're safe in the knowledge that we'll dry off eventually. So wearing clothes that get damp straight after you've just washed yourself isn't as bothersome because you put yourself in that position willingly._  
_And you're clean, the water that's on you is also clean. With the rain, you don't get a choice, and you're rained on regardless. Unless you have shelter, which we don't. Then there's the added fact that you don't know where this rain has been. On top of that, when you're washing yourself, you're not wearing clothes--or generally._  
_So it's less of a problem and bother because you have time to dry off naturally before you dress yourself. But in the rain--since you're already wearing clothes--that's not an option. And it becomes all that more bothersome once they get wet through and damp and nasty."_

_Jongin hummed. "Have you ever gotten into the river with all of your clothes on?" He asked as he turned his full attention towards his elder brother._

_Jongdae raised an eyebrow at the younger's interesting question, and the direction the younger appeared to be steering the conversation. "Not that I'm aware of, no. Why?"_

_"I did."_

_Jongdae blinked. "You did?" He asked, perplexed. "Why?"_

_"Just because." Jongin then chuckled to himself, realizing he never really did anything 'just because'. "Actually, no. I did it to learn to swim with the extra weight. So that if I was ever put in a position where I'd be wearing full clothes and was in water, I'd know what to do. I'd be able to get out alive. Plus it's also quite nice in the summer when it gets too hot."_

_"Did..."_

_Jongin shook his head instantly. "Yixing didn't teach me."_

_Jongdae hummed. "Luhan?"_

_Jongin merely shook his head again. "Nope."_

_Jongdae seemed to sigh, probably expecting such an answer._

_"Do you think I'm incapable of teaching myself some things?" Jongin's tone of voice wasn't malicious or accusing and it was evident he wasn't searching for a fight. In fact, he sounded entirely relaxed, genuinely just a tad curious as to the answer of the question he'd asked._

_Jongdae really did make his sigh obvious this time. "No," he said, huffing. "That's the thing! You teach yourself too many things. All by yourself and without the help of anyone else. Would it kill you to rely on one of us for something here and there?"_

_"Why bother the rest of you incessantly when it's not needed? Especially when I can make use of myself and do things that are productive even when alone?"_

_Jongdae puffed out his cheeks. "Because that's what younger brothers are supposed to do! You're the youngest. You're allowed to be a brat. You're allowed to rely too much on the rest of us and make mistakes." Jongdae drummed his fingers against the ground, not bothering to pay attention to the squelching of the wettened mud this time. "Why can't you just be the bratty annoying brother with too much time to waste on his hands, huh? It would make my job so much easier!"_

_Jongin was quiet for some time before he said, with a teasing smirk,_ _"Because hyung, that's already your job."_

 _Jongdae's mouth fell open, evidently offended. "Yah," he said loudly._ _"No!"_

_"Yah," Jongin mocked his elder brother's previous words. "Yes."_

_"No."_

_"Yes."_

_"No." He shook his head. "No."_

_"Yes."_

_"No, no, no!"_

_"Ye--" Before Jongin could finish his sentence, Jongdae grabbed Jongin by his ankle and pulled him forwards, eyes narrowing meaningfully at his younger brother. It was barely visible, but Jongin's eyes widened momentarily. Jongdae caught on to this movement and smirked._

_"Are you, perhaps, afraid, little brother?"_

_Jongin scoffed. "No."_

_"Then you really wouldn't mind if I did this, hm?" Glancing over his shoulder and making an indication towards the rippling water of the river that wasn't too far away from them in distance._

_Jongin knew what was coming, he'd knew he'd be a fool not to catch onto Jongdae's implications. Knowing his older brother's nature, he also knew that holding onto the hope that Jongdae wouldn't actually go through with it was futile. Besides, he'd already had practice swimming with his clothes on, and the fact that Jongdae was prolonging everything only bought him more time to figure out a way to get out of his elder brother's hold or prepare himself for the coldness of the water. "You can try," he said easily, smiling quite brightly up at Jongdae from the ground, his eyelashes were getting wet from the rain that was falling from the sky, blurring his vision slightly. "I can't promise not to drag you down with me."_

_Jongdae merely scoffed. "You can try," He said, mocking the younger's earlier words. He then moved them closer to the river, now stood at the riverbed. Jongdae sent Jongin_   _an incredulous expression._ _"You're not even going to fight back?"_

_"Nah," Jongin said easily. "Just know that if you drown me, you'll be the first person I come back to haunt as a ghost. You should also keep in mind the fact that I know everything about you so I pretty much know all your weak points, too."_

_"Yah," Jongdae's tone of voice rose. "Stop sprouting nonsense and fight back! Where's the fun if you just sit there and let me throw you in the lake?!"_

_"The fun in is watching you try." Jongin chuckled. "And fail."_

_"I won't fail!"_

_Jongin only sent Jongdae a disbelieving glance, chuckling to himself._

_Jongdae proceeded to kick Jongin in the shin, which made Jongin hiss._

_"Are you going to take that back?"_

_"Nope."_

_Jongdae puffed out his cheeks and resisted the urge to stomp his foot. It'd only prove Jongin's point that he--even as the elder-- was the brattier brother. "You're insufferable, you know that?"_

_"You talk a lot, did you know that?" Jongin lay back down on the ground, head propped up by his arms, still watching Jongdae in mild amusement. "I blank you out most of the times."_

_"You think I don't realize when you stop paying attention?!"_

_"Considering nine times out of ten that you carrying on talking, no."_

_"I just talk more, just to bother you more."_

_"Well it's not doing anything really, especially since I stop paying attention long before."_

_Jongdae sounded a little giddy with his next sentence. "You also stopped paying attention to your surroundings. Look how close we are to the river now!"_

_"Go ahead," Jongin muttered, yawning, knowing his sheer lack of interest would only prove to bother his elder brother even more. "I'll just drag you down with me."_

_Both of which happened in next passing seconds._

_"Hey," Jongin said, swimming up to the surface. The fact that their clothes were drenched through with rain--now with water--didn't seem to bother either brother. "Why would you throw me in that way, are you actually trying to drown me?"_

_Jongdae only smirked triumphantly. "It merely stands as proof that whilst you may be taller than me, I'm still stronger!"_

_Jongin only tutted, before he dipped back under the water and swam over to area in which Jongdae was treading, Jongdae's eyebrows furrowed at first and a few seconds passed before he linked Jongin's intentions together, eyes then widening. But it was then too late to recoil and swim out of the younger's reach as Jongin had already pulled Jongdae underneath the surface of the water also._  
  
_"_ _You were saying?"_

_Jongdae spluttered as he swam back up to the surface, purposely splashing water at Jongin. "You were saying?" He mocked, scowling._

_Jongin's nose crinkled. "Did you have to get the water in my eyes?"_

_Jongdae nodded enthusiastically. "Since you got in my nostrils, of course." He then glanced at the rippling water and sent a challenging expression his younger brother's way. "Let's see who's the better swimmer!"_

_Jongin eyes his brother warily, on guard for ulterior motives with his sudden topic change, but then nodded when he couldn't pick up on any. "Okay."_

_"I hope you're not a sore loser, Jonginnie." Jongdae's smile was confident._  Too  _confident._

_"Right back at you."_

 

Jongdae cast a glance over to Yixing, who was still sleeping, and sighed. He looked up at the canopy between the trees and sighed again. A sudden feeling of emptiness took place, and he found his chest aching in the most unusual way. This sudden onslaught of memories was not only painfully reminding him and in such, upsetting him, but also perturbing him. Usually, trips down memory lane were never fun for Jongdae.

They were few, rare, as he tried his hardest to avoid his past, given how gruesome and dark it was. But when they did take place, he'd noticed that he'd only ever get painful, unhappy memories. Nightmare inducing. In the instance that a memory lane type experience came around, it was as if every good thing that had ever happened to him magically disappeared, ceased to exist.

That only bad prevailed. So his safest bet was to run from it, to push it away. To block these memories out, shove them away.

He knew that, undeniably, he'd both been through and witnessed some truly deranged and awful things. But even when things were going good for him and everyone else around him, recalling instances from the past was always painful. Even when taking into account the fact that he'd ended on a good note with said people who were generally involved in these past memories.

What he found ironic was that now something truly devastating had taken place in present time--that his most important person had gone missing and could very well be dead--he was getting happy, carefree memories? It especially made no sense to him, because the last interaction he had with his younger brother didn't end on a positive note, at all.

The memories were linked to something that was presently going on, or held some element of something he'd currently witnessed--in this case, the weather. But he also didn't understand that, because weather was something Jongdae barely ever took into account. To him, it was something that just... was. Something he had no time to take into account or care for. So why was it that the mere fact that it was raining was making Jongdae sit through a too realistic replay of a memory of when his brother was at his most relaxed and carefree? When they as brothers were at their most relaxed and playful?  When the younger was, dare he say, ...happy? It felt like some planned torture method against him. Like an even greater guilt trip than the fact that their current last words to each other were negative and argumentative.

That Jongin left disliking him.

 

_"Don't you think it suits me?" Jongin asked with a playful sounding chuckle as he exaggerated an arrogant pose. He then scoffed and rolled his eyes, still managing to look partially disinterested. "Didn't Luhan once say that when he lived at the village he'd witness Princes parading up and down the streets as though they owned the place?"_

_Jongdae nodded. "I can see why he and Yixing have an ill impression of Royals, honestly. They all seem to be... very arrogant." Jongdae then sent his brother a curious glance. "But, what you said before that. Do you really associate yourself with the rain?"_

_"I don't know," Jongin said. "In some aspects, I suppose. But when I really stand back to think about it I realize it's more like you."_

_Jongdae scowled. "How?"_

_Jongin chuckled at his brother's change in demeanor. From calm--or calmer--to irritated in a fraction of a second. "Rain is... unpredictable. It does its own thing, sails its own course. Regardless of how people try to convince themselves, they never know what they're going to get with it. Torrential downpours, gentle showers, a person isn't able to predict. There's only a few tell-tale signs with rain but even when they're taken into account, its unpredictability factor still stands. Much like you."_

_Jongdae crinkled his nose. "So right now I basically just proved your point?"_

_Jongin nodded. "Pretty much."_

_"What about seasons?" Jongdae was quite intrigued. He sat up and turned to face his younger brother. "Seasons are easier. There're four of us, and there's four seasons. Who would you associate with which?"_

_Jongin was quiet for a while, thinking things through. "Autumn reminds me of Yixing."_

_Jongdae nodded, urging the younger to carry on. It was clear Jongin had taken these things into account before, that he'd considered them before._

_"What primarily links autumn to Yixing for me, is consistency. Autumn holds its end of the bargain every time it comes around. It never fails in its intended purpose. Yixing's the same._  
_He may have moments of careless recklessness, but when in need he will always find a way to help out. To be there. To allow all of us to lean on him. His loyalty is unprecedented._  
_Yixing is the foundation of this group and he's the one who ties us all together. Within this group we have, there's polar opposites who without him, probably would not have found a common ground or way to understand one another. Nor even meet._  
_There's an adaptability to Yixing that helps each and every one of us relate to him. In a similar way, Autumn does the exact same with the differing seasons._  
_Autumn tends to get overlooked, but in actual fact, it's extremely essential. Even in a situation where everything's falling apart, Yixing finds a way to be the strong foundation._  
_He's the first person we all turn to when we need advice or direction, regardless of how much we may try to deny that. You won't notice it until it's taking place but when you finally do, it's something you'll always take into account. Something you believe in. And admire."_

_"How much thought have you really put into this?!" Jongdae exclaimed, wide eyed._

_Jongin shrugged a little non-committally. "A bit."_

_Jongdae perched up, glancing curiously at Jongin. "I won't lie, it's an interesting subject. Okay since we've covered Yixing, what about Luhan, which season would he be?"_

_"Summer," they said in unison. Jongdae chuckled._

_"Since you heard my reasoning for Yixing, what's yours for Luhan?"_

_"Well," Jongdae dragged the word out. "I chose summer mainly for the obvious reasons. He's bright, warm, welcoming. Friendly, open. He's the first one you go to, not when you need cheering up but when you need comforting. If Yixing's our foundation, Luhan's our blanket of security. The warmth of familiarity. But at the same time, I don't think I'm referencing the typical picture that's painted at the mention of a summer day. If you compare a summer morning, when it's scorching hot and thriving to a calmer summer evening, there's a clear contrast. Luhan's the summer evening in this case. The gentle caress of a breeze that's not overbearing or shiver inducing, but... just right. Especially on a hot day."_

_"I agree," Jongin said, nodding. "But my analysis also took into account the other side of summer."_

_Jongdae's eyebrows furrowed together. "The other side of summer?"_

_"As in it's quite the misunderstood and underestimated season. I won't lie, my first thought when describing summer is that it's shallow. That there's not much to it. It is what it is, its see through surface. But that's only the outer shell. Most people are too busy looking at the surface to note what's underneath. It's all about how pretty it looks. How nice it is."_

_Jongdae nodded in understanding._

_"Not realizing that past this surface is a whole web of complexities, of depth. Just like with Luhan. I think Luhan's a lot more complex than he leads people to believe. He's bright and genuine, sure. But there are also rainy days in summer. There are storms in summer. There's destruction in summer."_

_Jongdae quirked an eyebrow at the turn the conversation was now taking. "What are you trying to say?" Jongdae laughed. "That Luhan's full of contained corruption past his honey-like surface? Corruption he's not even aware of yet?"_

_"No," Jongin said. "I'm not trying to imply that at all. Just that people focus too much on his surface. That it's a convincing guise and a perfect trap for enemies, but in our case, we shouldn't act the same as they would. We shouldn't underestimate him. He is one of us, after all. He's got so much training under his belt. In comparison to someone untrained, he's a force to be reckoned with. He's our security blanket, but he's also the thread that tightly holds together our tactical plans. Concisely able to point out discrepancies and flaws that may very well go unnoticed without a second opinion. I just think with how he's taken on quite a maternal role, we forget that sometimes. It's a shame."_

_"Just like we forget that you're the baby because you like to act like you're the wisest and most mature and stuff, yeah?"_

_Jongin sent his brother a look. "They don't correlate whatsoever. I may be the youngest, but I'm not a child. I don't act like a child, nor think like a child. Even if I'm the youngest, none of you treat me like a child or talk down to me as if I'm not going to understand. You all know full well that I will understand. I just think it should be the same for Luhan."_

_"Luhan doesn't act like a blood thirsty killer, nor a trained assassin when around us, Jonginnie."_

_"Well neither do we when around each other. But does that mean you're unaware of what I'm capable of? Does that mean you're going to underestimate me? Of course it doesn't. You know full well what we've learned and just how far our intelligence goes with these things. You know how sharp our minds and movements are. But somehow that's different in Luhan's case. He had all the same training as us, yet because he's a little--or maybe quite a lot--softer and nicer than we are, we don't always take into account what Luhan says, brushing it off before we've even given him chance. We shouldn't do that."_

_Jongdae hummed._

_Jongin let out a sigh. "There's also no reason to emulate parental roles--for any of us. We have the same training, we're around each other's ages. Why force someone to play a role they're not comfortable with just because you believe it's lacking in your life? I don't need someone to coddle or clothe me. I can do it myself. We're equals, we're in similar positions. It's fine relying on a group, honing in on your talents, but to completely disregard other important aspects and not train as hard for them opens room for failure. In the case where there are concrete assigned roles that appear to be very fixed and none-negotiable--as in, no one else is able to perform them other than the person they're assigned to, it's more of a disadvantage."_

_Jongdae kept quiet._

_"Of course we have our strengths and we're all better at different things, but we should at least be able to carry out and perform the other areas fluidly, also. In the instance that one of us isn't here for whatever reason. Example, say if I go missing one day, someone has to be there to fill in for me, and temporarily--or permanently take over my role. Otherwise there's a hole in the line of defense. Which is something we can't risk."_

_Jongdae only scoffed, but it was a gentle scoff, bordering a disbelieving chuckle. "You're not going to go missing, Jongin," he said easily._

_"In the case that I did," Jongin emphasized. "Theoretically."_

_"I wouldn't let you."_

Jongdae snapped back into reality and flinched visibly."Please brain," he whispered, pleadingly. "Please stop this." His hands were began to shake. "I'm sorry. Whatever I did to deserve this, I'm sorry."

_"So that leaves spring and winter for us then." Jongdae sent an expectant look his brother's way. "Which is which?"_

_"Spring for you," Jongin had said, smiling quite serenely. "Evidently."_

_"Why is that?" Jongdae remembered asking._

_"Well for starters, you like to reinvent yourself. I've noticed there's always something new to expect with you, no matter how many years I've been beside you._  
_You're unpredictable, and it's hard to pin you down and define you. Spring leads in from winter. Winter is a cold month. It's... empty. Trees are bare. Spring buds life, brightness. You're a lot like that. You take a bad situation and find a way to make the best of it._  
_Winter is the coldest month, the most contrasting. Summer is the month where everything has already blossomed and the sun shines high in the skies. Spring is the mid point; the point in which everything is in the midst of blossoming, transitioning from cold and bare. And it's all done so effortlessly. Just like the way you interact with all of us._  
_Just like with Yixing, you've found a way to connect us all. You have this ability to bring out new sides in people. Sides of them they're not even aware they possess._  
_Spring paves a way for summer, and its way is paved from winter, which in any sense, shouldn't make all that much sense. Spring and winter are contrasting. But somehow they find a way to lean on each other, to rely on each other. To lead in from the influence of the other.  You challenge things, you question things I'm sure most others wouldn't dare question. You have a lot on your shoulders and hold a lot of responsibility, yet you manage it all without a single complaint, you manage it all with a smile. Even when there are times when you should be crying. It's both a good and a bad thing. I'm sure you know the reasons why._  
_If I were going to describe you, Jongdae hyung, I'd say you're the best kind of contradiction."_

_"Yah," Jongdae muttered, pouting, though obviously flattered--even if he'd deny such a concept if questioned about it. "What is this? What do you want from me?! This is the first time I've ever heard you say so many nice things about me in such a short span of time!"_

_Jongin only chuckled._

_"Now you," Jongdae said, eyes seeming to light up in mischief.  
_  
_Jongin cleared his throat. "Well... it's winter for me, I suppose. Since it's the only one left. You don't expect me to explain the reasons for myself, do you?"_

_"Nope," Jongdae chirped. "Especially not when I have a few reasons myself."_

_Jongin chuckled to himself, raising an eyebrow. "Because I'm cold and bitter?" Intended as a light hearted joke._

_"No," Jongdae said, throwing the younger a look. "That's not my reason at all. It's mainly because winter as a season is generally either an instant hit or miss for people. They either like it or they don't. They always seem to have a firm opinion on winter and how they feel about it--even Yixing and Luhan, right?"_

_Jongin nodded._

_"In the case that a person likes winter, they look forward to it. Most of the time they have a reason attached to why they like winter other than that they like the snow._  
_People who like winter have probably put a lot of thought into their reasoning, into defending why they like winter--especially as it's that season most people like to throw off without even considering its positive aspects. On the surface level, it's bitterly cold. The fact that snow melts. That there's ice and ice is dangerous. Darker days, longer nights. That village events are cancelled. Things like that._  
_They choose to only focus on the negative, disregarding the positive. When people only hear negatives, they don't go out of their way to look for positives. Their minds have already been made up. I think a lot of bandwagon dislike is attached to winter, because for a lot of people all they hear is the negative aspect. Surface level it's all they see._  
_However, there are others who focus on the season as a whole. Those who take into account every aspect and form their opinion based on their own experience of the season. Rather than blindly agreeing to that of others out of fear of being called out on differences or whatever, those scared to go against the majority.  Those with strength of mind and strength of will as they're not deterred solely by the fact that winter is a little bit cold and dreary.  You're a lot like that."_

_Jongdae caught his breath._

_"You put a lot of thought into everything you do. You're not afraid to voice out a differing opinion, regardless of what the rest of us say, or how we'll react. You're not deterred by something that takes a lot of work, or how difficult it appears to be. You see the it from a--I guess-- a birds eye perspective. You don't seem to mind all that much if you face bumps in the road or difficulties--in fact sometimes I think you prefer that they're there so you can keep track of your progress--just so long as you accomplish what you set out to do originally."_

_"Maybe I underestimate how much you know me, sometimes," Jongin muttered, eyes widening a little. "Anyway, that's covering the people who dislike winter, right? What about those who... well, like it?" Jongin had never really taken into account his likeability factor, and didn't exactly have a social circle wide enough to know his affect on people._

_"I'm still not done with the people who dislike winter!" Jongdae exclaimed, scowling. "Let me finish. The more these people are exposed to it--the most contrasting season in comparison to the others--I think they develop at least an admiration for it in some aspects. Some may begin to like it but others may not. It depends on the person, but with more exposure comes more understanding. I think you can figure out how that relates to you."_

_Jongin nodded._

_"For people who like winter, they've clearly already come to terms with all of this. That winter is the most contrasting of the seasons and it differs from the other three seasons in a multitude of ways. It's the one you need to prepare yourself most for. They've come to terms with that, they're okay with that._  
_But just like you said with Luhan and summer, in that there's more to summer than people give credit for. That there are storms in summer, that lots of mature activities take place and it's not as playful as it originally seems when a person takes time to look past the surface. Winter is kind of similar, just in the opposite way. Its exterior is different from its interior. Winter on the outside is cold, trees are bare. If not prepared enough for it people can lose their lives. It has a lot of intimidating aspects and that's a fact that can't be denied. But at the same time, the further a person delves into it... beyond the exterior, winter is quite a bit different. Underneath everything, it's very pure. Childlike."_

_Jongin's eyebrows furrowed._

_"You have a cold exterior, you have intimidating aspects, upon first meeting you're usually very misunderstood. People shouldn't get on your bad side, of course. But deep, deep down there's a childlike innocence to you that contrasts entirely to how mature you've become. And maybe it's because as your older brother I'm very attuned to it, but I notice it a lot."_

_Jongin let out a prolonged sigh. "Why does it always come back to the childhood thing, hyung?"_

_"It's an aspect of you, Jongin. I'm not going to pretend it doesn't exist."_

_Jongin only rolled his eyes at this, demeanor appearing a little incredulous. "Whatever," he muttered, deciding he wasn't up for an hour long debate about how he wasn't a child. No matter what he said to Jongdae, the elder's view on the topic never wavered. "Anyway, let's end this comparison to season topic here. Isn't this the kind of conversation we'd have with a girlfriend?"_

_"If we had one."_

_Jongin quirked an eyebrow. "One? As in singular?"_

_Jongdae shrugged. "Wouldn't it be funny if we ended up liking the same girl?"_

_Jongin raised an incredulous eyebrow. "Not really...?"_

_Jongdae chuckled."Even if that was the case, I know you wouldn't fight me."_

_Jongin nodded along. "True."_

_"It's an interesting concept though," Jongdae said, seeming to be drawn into his thoughts for a while. "Really though if you liked a girl, and by some odds, I ended up liking that same girl too, would you fight me for them? I mean, if you really, really liked them?"_

_Jongin was quiet for a while, thinking it over. "No," he finally said. "I don't think I'd ever consider a girlfriend a prize, hyung. I'd consider her a person. It'd be her choice entirely if she wanted to be with me or not."_

Jongdae looked back out at the canopy, before letting out a sigh. The rain hadn't exactly stopped but it had calmed, now only light drizzle. He cast a glance back at Yixing, who was still sleeping soundlessly. Jongdae felt a little bad at forcing the elder to flit around as if he was in perfect health now in retrospect, but he knew the elder would understand his intentions. That Yixing was probably just as intent on finding Jongin and Luhan as Jongdae himself was.

It was in that instance when he saw a worm wriggling its way out of the squelchy looking mud, and sighed. Why was everything reminding him of his brother and events that had taken place with his brother? It was a worm, for goodness sake. It had nothing to with either of them.   
  
Or perhaps it did.

The first prank he remembered playing on Jongin.

_The four of them were sitting around the camp, relaxed and at ease. They all had food set out in front of them--after a successful hunt--and a silence had taken place. In Jongin's opinion the silence was comfortable. Jongdae probably would've claimed otherwise. Still, no one said anything, choosing to place their focus onto the food in front of them._

_However, since none of them were really paying attention to the others, no one noticed the amused smirk playing on Jongdae's lips. Nor the fact that his eyes kept--slyly--darting towards his brother's 'plate', awaiting something._

_It took a few minutes for the desired effect to take place but it soon did in the motion of Jongin jumping and letting out a surprised sound. Jongdae had to cough to cover up his bubble of laughter. Something that didn't go unnoticed by the younger, whose eyes then narrowed as he took in the elder's form._

_"Are you serious, hyung?"_

_Jongdae merely raised an eyebrow, trying to make his outer appearance appear as innocent and unaware as possible. "What?" He asked, as if he genuinely didn't know what Jongin was referencing. "Did something happen?" He was finding it quite difficult to keep a straight, passive expression, but he never allowed himself to get to the point where it'd be clearly obvious he was lying. Or in Jongdae's opinion, simply bending the truth._

_"There's a worm in the food," Jongin dead panned._

_"Yeah," Jongdae said, drawing the word out. "So?"_

_Jongin suppressed a sigh. "A worm that as I recall wasn't there when I brought my plate over. A worm that's been placed in the food."_

_Jongdae tried to not make his amusement obvious. "Maybe it crawled inside somehow, you never know."_

_"Likely," Jongin dead panned once more. "Especially when you're around."_

_"Yah," Jongdae said, tone of voice rising. "What's this got to do with me?!"_

_"What it's not got to do with you? I know you were the one to put it there."_

_Jongdae scowled, pretending to be disinterested. "Maybe you just enjoy blaming me for everything," he said, adopting a condescending tone. "Besides, don't act as if worms aren't good for you."_

_Jongin chose not to reply, eyes only narrowing._

_"Why are you looking at me like that?"_

_"Because I know you did it. Why won't you just admit to it?"_

_"Where's the fun in that?!" He chuckled. "Playing mind games with you is a lot more fun, if I'm going to be honest."_

_"Well what's the point in playing mind games with me if you know you're not going to win? If you know that I'm already aware that you were the one to put the worm in my food?"_

_"Because you can't say for cer--"_

_"Yes I really can."_

_"But no."_

_"But yes."_

_Yixing and Luhan were watching on in both interest and mild amusement._

_"Well what if I do admit it, what happens then?"_

_"Nothing changes, because I already knew from the beginning that it was you."_

_Jongdae scowled. "Whatever. I dare you to eat it."_

_Jongin sent his brother an incredulous look. "And why would I do that?"_

_"Because you're not allowed to pass up a dare, Jonginnie."_

_"But I am--"_

_"No," Jongdae said, drawing the word out. "You can't. It's against the rules. Especially as the younger brother of Kim Jongdae!"_

_"Fine," Jongin said begrudgingly. "But only if you do, too."_

"Worms really aren't my thing," Jongdae muttered, somehow finding a way to chuckle. "They weren't your thing either, were they, Jonginnie?"

"Hmm?"

Jongdae's eyes widened and his head snapped towards the sound of the voice, towards the owner of the voice. "O-oh." He chuckled awkwardly. "Yixing." He felt very foolish in thinking--hoping--that the voice belonged to Jongin. It made some sense in his current frame of mind, especially in that the reply came after he voiced out Jongin's name.

"You almost sound disappointed in that, Jongdae."

"Yeah," Jongdae said, exhaling a shaky breath. "I guess."

"How are you holding up?"

"Never been better," Jongdae said, sarcasm dripping from every word.

Yixing frowned but Jongdae couldn't see him as Jongdae was facing the opposite direction. "Have you tried to get some sleep?" The elder asked, hoping for a yes.

"I can't sleep," was Jongdae's detached reply. "Why even bother." Jongdae suddenly found great interest in examining his palms, also in blanking the world out and hiding away until this progressively worsening all too realistic nightmare ended.

Which as the seconds and hours--days--flew by, he knew he'd have to accept that it actually was reality. That he was awake. That Jongin was missing. Even that Jongin could very well--he shook his head. No.

He wouldn't accept that.

"You could, maybe, try?"

"There's no point," the younger emphasized. "Like I said, I can't sleep."

"Jongdae--"

"Yixing, you're tired. You need as much sleep as you can possibly get right now. Please don't let worrying about me get in the way of that. I already feel bad enough as it is about making you do things when you're injured and that--this--had to happen when it did but--" He let out a prolonged sigh and buried his face in his palms. "Please go back to sleep."

Yixing watched on, expression progressively saddening. He didn't want to push Jongdae, knowing how fragile the state the younger was currently in. And Jongdae was right, he did need as much rest as possible. "Are you sure?" He asked, just to make sure.

"Perfectly."

Yixing nodded, casting one last lingering look Jongdae's way before turning back over in a way that exerted the least energy he knew possible and closed his eyes, willing sleep to come.

Some time passed, and when Jongdae was sure Yixing was asleep, he turned to face him. He didn't shuffle any closer, still keeping a distance between them. "I'm glad I met you, you know." The chuckle that followed sounded constricted. "I know that had I had to face this on my own, I-- I don't even want to think of how much a mess I'd be. Honestly, can you imagine what it’d be like to have to face something like this, of losing the closest person in your entire life—with a high probability of them never coming back—but with no one there beside you that you could lean on and suffer through it with? Could you imagine facing this entirely alone? It’d be even more torturous than it already is. So thank you, Yixing, for being in my life and being with me in what could turn out to be the most difficult time in my entire life. I want to apologize now for how ridiculous I will be on some days and how much I've already made you unnecessarily suffer, and I'm sorry I'm too much of a coward to say stuff like this to you when you're awake and resort to saying it when you're asleep and know you can't hear me." He cast a glance at his palms and sighed once more.

At least the memory of meeting Yixing and Luhan wasn't that painful to think about, if he blanked out Jongin's existence and reaction entirely. But he couldn't do that.

How could he do that?

_It hadn't been long since that specific event had taken place, merely a few days--perhaps a week, Jongdae hadn't been counting the days. He just allowed them fly by._

_The first thing he felt when it took place was sheer shock and utter confusion. It seeped through every pore of his body, of his mind. Nothing made sense in general but he was having the hardest time making sense of anything, even things he'd always known, of accepting the reality of anything. The shock and confusion passed after some time and was then replaced by a strong sense of denial. Which he found he was now slipping in and out of. But he'd gotten to a point where he believed he was mostly out of it._

_That he accepted what had happened, that he was not happy with it, but has accepted it had taken place and he could not deny it any longer. He began to feel... angry. Or he what he thought was anger, he wasn't entirely sure. He just knew that he felt wronged. Like what had happened was entirely unjust._

_But even more than anger, he was_   _scared. Scared because he knew that he wasn't safe._

_That they were not safe._

_That they had to get away._

_And right now, to Jongdae there was nothing more important than his younger brother and keeping him alive. Away from danger._  
_He knew it was what his parents would've wanted._

_The first thing he made them do when he came to realization that they weren't safe was to escape the house they inhabited that was situated in the village. The house he'd lived in for all of his nine years of existing. It wasn't exactly a difficult feat, he wasn't personally attached to the house or any objects that were inside of it. In fact, he left them all. He knew there and then that he had no time to pack things away and remove everything that was inside and especially not to be making trips there and back. So he left it all._

_All that left the house that day was he himself and his younger brother Jongin. Plus whatever they held on hand at that moment in time._

_That, and a pocketwatch._

_A pocketwatch covered in a dried red substance he'd rather not think about. Nor talk about. Nor touch. A dried red substance he had no problem with until that specific event took place._

_He didn't like looking at it, especially when every time he did, he would be reminded of everything that happened that day. Some nagging feeling within him told him that he needed to remember the pocketwatch. Visualize it. Memorize it. Its every last detail. Even if that meant having to face the blood._

_He hadn't looked at it since the day he found it. But he promised himself that he would once he'd washed its unwanted red coated decoration off it._

Jongdae shivered visibly at the memory. "Big mistake on my part," he muttered.

_With every step he took he felt the weight of the burden he carried worsen. He knew they had to get away as soon as possible, but how were they supposed to when they were practically running on nothing, he couldn't remember the last time he had sufficient rest in the past week. His very young brother tailed behind, trying his very hardest to catch up with Jongdae's strides. Jongdae soon noticed and slowed down his pace, before chuckling and stopping completely. "Jonginnie?"_

_Jongin whose head had been down and his eyebrows furrowed in concentration--in hopes of catching up with the elder, glanced up, eyes wide and curious. "Yes, hyung?"_

_"Come here," the elder brother said, indicating to the space beside him. "Stand beside me."_

_Jongin nodded, quite enthusiastically. "I can do that," he said, but then his lips pulled down into a pout. "I don't know how you always manage to get ahead of me."_

_"It's because you're smaller than me, your legs are shorter than mine."_

_"One day I'll be taller than you, then." Jongin grinned up at Jongdae. "It's a promise!"_

_"Why do you sound so confident of that?" Jongdae sent the younger a convincing scoff, but in all actuality wasn't really in the mood to be talking. He'd been feeling like that ever since the day the specific event that had haunted his every waking and unconscious moment. There was nothing to look forward to, to joke about. But Jongin didn't understand, Jongdae knew that. So if a convincing pretend was enough to keep the younger from feeling the way Jongdae currently did, he didn't mind all that much._

_"Where are we going, hyung?"_

_"You'll find out when we get there, okay?"_

_Jongin nodded._

A scowl formed on present Jongdae's face.  "He really did keep his promise, didn't he?" 

_Jongdae cast a glance at his younger brother and felt both an anger and a sadness envelope him as he remembered the day of the event._

_Anger because Jongin was too young to understand what had fully taken place, and in turn with youth came innocence and nonsensical thoughts that what had been taken from them had the ability to come back._

_That Jongdae would now have to be the one to tell him that it wasn't the case at all. As it stood, as his elder brother--the one person he had left to look up to and put all his trust in--he'd have to be the one to break his heart into tiny little pieces, the one who'd have to push him into seeing reality._

_Jongdae didn't want do that, not at all, but now he had no other choice._

_He wasn't mad at Jongin, he knew he could never be mad at Jongin, just mad at himself and the situation at hand. Those involved with it. The sadness linked in with this but was mainly because Jongin was so young, younger than himself. So was in turn going to have even less memories of their parents than he, himself, did._

_That day, Jongin was scared. Utterly confused. He realized something was amiss, but his little mind couldn't process the extent of what had happened, nor could he grasp or leap onto what was going to happen next._

_Younger Jongin in all of his naive innocence, held onto the hope that whatever it was that had been stolen from them that day could come back. He knew something was amiss, that in all the bubbles of right his mind had sewn together in his short years upon the earth, this particular thing deviated. That what had happened was wrong. That it was clipped under a bad bubble. That it shouldn't have been that way._

_But at the same time, he believed it was fixable, temporary. That after a short while, things would go back to how they used to be. That maybe he'd wake up and find out it was all just a nightmare._

_Younger Jongin had never had a nightmare before, but he'd heard about them. His naive little self believed maybe it was just his turn to witness a nightmare. To wake up from it and feel the same relief the rest of his family members felt when they realized it wasn't actually taking place. That their subconscious was planting and depicting images and events that weren't actually happening, and twisting them, magnifying them to a degree that unnerved and in some cases, terrified them._

_Younger Jongdae on the other hand, knew. He knew it wasn't the case; that what had taken place was undo able, unchangeable. Once the confusion had passed, once the grief and vulnerability had run its course... something else had kicked in for him._

_Reality._

_Something gravely changed within Jongdae that day, and he knew he'd lost something he could never replace._

 

_The trek to find some place to stay thus far had been very physically exerting for both brothers, but Jongdae was also mentally exhausted. Jongin in that aspect did not seem so._

_"We're nearly there," Jongdae had said, glancing at his younger brother. "Are you tired?"_

_"I can't feel my legs," the younger mumbled. "Does the aching go away soon?"_

_"It probably will after you take a short rest."_

_Jongin met his brother's gaze curiously. "How do I do that?"_

_Jongdae moved closer, before crouching down and motioning that the younger come even closer and close the remaining distance between them. Jongin did as instructed, stopping by Jongdae's side. "What are you waiting for? Hop on!"_

_Jongin stumbled backwards, quite startled. "W-what? Why would I do that?"_

_"You heard me. And so I can carry you the rest of the way, pabo."_

_"Won't I be too heavy?" Jongin blinked innocently, eyes wide in caution. "What if I break you?"_

_Jongdae chuckled. "You won't break me. Do you want to know why?"_

_"Why?"_

_"Because I'm your big brother and big brothers are unbreakable. Especially in the case of their little brothers. They'll always be around to help their little brother and they'll never leave him. It's their job."_

_Jongin nodded, listening to his elder brother's words as if it was the most important news he'd ever heard. Which it probably was, considering how young he was. But then he said something that made Jongdae freeze on the spot. "Unlike mom and dad."_

_Jongdae spluttered, almost falling over. "What?"_

_Jongin avoided his gaze, using this time to climb on Jongdae's back. After the elder had collected himself. Once on his back, Jongin wrapped his arms around the elder's neck and let the elder take hold of his legs, holding them securely in place. "They haven't come back yet. I wasn't going to count the days, but somehow I ended up counting the days. Something's telling me they won't be back. If they were going to, they'd be here by now, wouldn't they?"_

_"Jongin, I--"_

_Jongin let out a soft, barely audible chuckle. "It doesn't matter. I realized a few days ago that I can't keep them around if they don't want to stay." He buried his head into the crook of Jongdae's neck and mumbled, "Even if I want them to."_

_"Jongin that's not--" He tightened his hold on the younger's legs. How was he supposed to approach this topic with his very young brother? He knew it was going to happen at some point, but he wasn't expecting it to be so soon._

_"I'm not mad," Jongin continued. "As long as I still have you, that's all that matters."_

_The mood seemed to lighten after that, the tension appearing to dissipate. Jongin tightened his hold on Jongdae, curiously peering over his shoulders. All he could see was trees, and more trees. Tall trees. Small trees. A endless array of green. They weren't that interesting. Maybe at first, but the more he saw them, the more he wished they'd hurry up and end up at wherever it was Jongdae was taking them. "Hyung?"_

_"Hmm?"_

_"I'm not breaking you yet, right? You can put me down if I am, I don't mind."_

_Jongdae reached up and lightly squeezed one of Jongin's hands, reassuring him. "Don't worry about it, I've got you." After he'd done this went back to holding the younger's legs in place, and continuing to manoeuvre them forwards._

_Jongin still didn't seem too convinced, but finally nodded. "Okay," he mumbled. "But If I don't break you, you're not allowed to break me either. Deal?"_

_"Deal."_

_Night was beginning to fall sooner than Jongdae anticipated and he glanced at the darkening sky worriedly. Would he be able to reach the destination in time?_

_Jongdae then froze, eyes wide in horror at the realization that he didn't actually have a clear destination in mind. Just that they had to be far enough away from the village that they were undetectable, unreachable. After the events that night took place, his survival instincts took lead.  It was first on his list of priorities. Surviving._

_Ever since that night Jongdae had acted first, thought later. He knew he had to get away, he knew they weren't safe. He knew he had to protect Jongin and he knew he had to protect himself. Protecting both of them meant getting as far away from the village as physically possible. Whoever was there that night could've easily come back and a face-to-face encounter with them was the last thing Jongdae needed. The last thing he'd let Jongin witness or be involved in._

_But where was he supposed to go? He was a nine year old boy who'd never really been many places, he had no idea about the world. He had no internal map of their surroundings engraved into his memory like he swore his dad did, considering the times he did get to see places, they never got lost when their dad was around._

_Jongdae was always an adventurous child, he never really paid much attention to the routes of their little trips. He'd always find a more interesting thing to spend his time and focus on and as far as he was aware adult type endeavors--such as knowing the route like the back of one's hand and planning the way back home--were boring. They were also covered by his mother and his father, so it wasn't like he had to learn them himself._

_Mom and dad were invincible, weren't they? They'd always be there.  
_  
_It was then that he was snapped back into reality, hearing his little brother speak up..._

_"Hyung?" The younger asked, sounding very sleepy. "Why did we stop walking? Did we finally get to the place we were supposed to? If not, are we ever going to get to this place you told me we were going to? I know I'm not supposed to be counting days, but... days keep passing and--" Jongin stopped there, suddenly going very quiet._

_Maybe Jongin didn't know how to phrase his next sentence, maybe it was something else entirely, all Jongdae knew was that it didn't help curb his nerves in the slightest._

_Jongdae inhaled a shaky breath, anxiousness bubbling up within him. Jongin couldn't know that he didn't have any idea what he was doing, could he? "I-I," he exhaled an even shakier breath. "Uhh..." He had to come up with something._

_"Oh no," Jongin murmured. "Is that what it is? I broke you, didn't I?" He made an advancement to get down from his brother's back. Jongdae didn't let him, still keeping a secure hold. Jongin's eyebrows drew together and he tilted his head to the side in confusion._

_Jongdae tilted his head up, a new found confidence bubbling within him. He glanced out at his surroundings and decided that they'd done enough walking for the day and were also so far away from the village that he'd get lost trying to find the way so in turn nobody else could get them either, right? He'd decided that was the case. Camping out at this little forest place they'd ended up in was entirely plausible and he could trick Jongin into thinking he'd planned it all along, right?_

_"We stopped walking because we're here, you're right. Yes. We're here. I totally planned all of this. From the very beginning. Yes."_

_Jongin peered at him curiously, but also quite suspiciously. After a few seconds of observing his brother, he nodded slowly. "Okay," he said, the suspicious tone not exactly disappearing. "So I can get down now, right?"_

_Jongdae seemed as if he'd only just remembered that he was still carrying the younger on his back. He quickly nodded, helping his younger brother onto the ground._

_Once Jongin was on the ground he glanced around the surroundings curiously. But then his eyebrows furrowed together when noting that it was just like everywhere else they'd been since they embarked on their journey and left their house. Jongdae had told him that they needed to get away from the house, by mom and dad's request. He'd also said that their parents would soon follow them. But that had been more than a week ago. Eight and a half days, Jongin had counted._

_Their parents still hadn't shown up and something within him told Jongin that that wasn't going to change any time soon. Possibly ever._

_"What's the matter?" Jongdae asked, noticing the perplexed expression on the features of the younger._

_"Where do we go, hyung? It's all just... trees."_

_Jongdae paused, but tried not to make it too obvious. His eyes then landed on an opening in a forest that he could only hope led to somewhere with some form of living conditions. "This way," he said, instructing the younger to follow on behind him._

_Jongin nodded, trying to match his hyung's footsteps._

_Once they made their way through the opening between the trees, they continued on a path that had steadily begun to narrow. The area in which they ended up was very neat looking, trees growing to exact same heights, grass not growing too long. There was a box like area with enough space to fit at least two people, perhaps not fully grown._

_Jongdae decided it'd do fine for now. So he stopped walking, which in turn led Jongin to follow suit. The younger was confused._

_"Why did we stop?" Jongin asked, turning to face his brother._

_"Because we're here, why else?"_

_"What?"_

_"We're here," Jongdae repeated._

_"Really?" Jongin peered at his brother in confusion. "That can't be right."_

_"Can't it? Why not?"_

_"Because there's no home," Jongin muttered, evidently still confused. "Where's the house we stay in?"_

_"There isn't a house."_

_"Oh." Jongin's eyebrows furrowed. "But..."_

_"Take a seat," Jongdae said. He waited for Jongin to sit down and once he did, Jongdae soon followed suit, directly facing his little brother. "Do you want me to explain why it's this way, why there's no house?"_

_Jongin was just about to nod, but then first tried to decipher it for himself. "Is it because you feel bad about leaving our other house and you don't want it get jealous, so you decided not to have a house at all?"_

_Jongdae chuckled, realizing in that moment just how naive and innocent children could be. He was also a child himself, but he'd had two whole years longer on the earth than Jongin, so clearly his development in maturity was currently ahead of that of his younger brother._

_But then Jongin shook his head, presumably deciding that couldn't be the case. "I don't think it'll get jealous though."_

_Jongdae decided he'd play along. "And why's that?"_

_Jongin's nose crinkled and said movement made Jongdae worry that the younger knew exactly what he was doing. Jongdae had been on edge since realizing he'd may have had to explain what had happened to their parents--in that they weren't coming back, ever--a lot sooner than he originally anticipated. "Because it's a house. Houses aren't living beings. They can't get jealous. You can't think I'm dumb enough to believe it really will get jealous can you, hyung?"_

_Jongdae was surprised at this. Jongin was testing him? And who said anything about being dumb? He just wanted to play along, to put off the inevitable. "I don't think you're dumb at all, Jongin," he mumbled._

_Jongin studied him for a few tense seconds. "Then why did you." He stopped there, shaking his head. "Never mind."_

_Jongdae felt the anxiousness from before bubble back up. Without even realizing it he'd begun to edge back a little from his position on the floor, bringing some proximity between them. He wasn't ready to explain this yet. Nor even really accept it fully. Speaking about it solidified it and he wasn't willing to do that just yet. "Why did I what, Jonginnie?"_

_"Lie to me?" But Jongin's eyebrows furrowed. "If you did lie to me, I'm not certain. But something's definitely been off since this whole thing started and I don't think you want to tell me what's really going on."_

_Jongdae felt himself freeze up and he looked for a reply, but nothing came to mind._

_It seemed Jongin didn't need a reply, however. "You can't hide it from me forever, hyung."_

_That only left Jongdae more frozen up, more nervous. More jittery._

_Jongin sighed this time. "You should just tell me if they abandoned us," he muttered. "I promise I won't be mad."_

_And there it went again. The loss of personal attachment in reference to their parents. It'd been bothering Jongdae since it started--which was only earlier that day--but he'd picked up on the change the minute Jongin applied it. At first he didn't think much about it, as referring to their parents through 'they' and 'them' was just quicker, easier. But ever since that last reference of 'mom and dad' from Jongin's mouth had taken place, he'd stopped referring to them as that since. Jongdae hoped he wasn't jumping to conclusions, but he was really beginning to get worried. "When did you stop referring to them as parents, Jongin?"_

_Jongin blinked, and it gave Jongdae a shred of hope that maybe he was overreacting. That the younger really wasn't noticing what he was doing. "Hm?"_

_But he needed to make sure, so he worded his sentence into so it was easier to understand for Jongin's young self. "When did you stop calling them mommy and daddy, Jonginnie?"_

_"Oh," Jongin said.  He suddenly seemed a little distant. "Well, it was when I realized that they didn't want to be my parents any more." With that, Jongin turned to his side and called it a night._

_Jongdae on the other hand, found himself frozen to the core at his younger brother's words. So much that he had difficulty for hours afterwards in falling asleep, rattled by the realization that by telling him their parents would be meeting up with them at some point--a blatant lie, that he'd never be able to get around--he'd probably made it a whole lot worse._

_He didn't want Jongin to be sad, he definitely didn't want to break his heart, but leading him into forming a disdain or disconnection to their parents... by hell he didn't want that either._

_And it was definitely something his parents would never forgive him for, even if they weren't around to state as such._

_He only wanted Jongin to have happy memories of their parents, not have his little self plagued by thoughts of abandonment and them supposedly not being good enough for their parents to stick around.  
_  
_It wasn't the case, not at all._

_He had to tell Jongin, he just wished he knew how to go about it._

Present Jongdae crinkled his nose, hoping he won't have to go through a replay of the memory of letting Jongin know their parents didn't abandon them and were, in fact, dead. Back then, he'd prepared himself for a multitude of different reactions from the younger, none of them actually being what happened. Perhaps Jongin's reaction was one of the main reasons why Jongdae was so adamant about protecting the younger, why he was so insistent that the younger was reminded that he was the youngest and had every right to take it easy on occasion. That the younger had every right to try and re-enact a childhood he never got to live.

But Jongin just wouldn't buy it. Even then.

And that made Jongdae sad. Being the elder brother and having to be the first account witness to seeing reality kick in much too soon for his younger brother, it was never nice.

Of course now he understood that perhaps Jongin was just naturally mature for his age regardless, but, he'd never forget to remind the younger that it was okay--that it was natural--to be young. To be a child.

That it truly wasn't his fault that what should have been his most carefree and happy years were mercilessly torn away from him. From them both.

But Jongdae didn't see it that way, he didn't take himself into account in this instance. He was two years older than Jongin, he'd had two more years with their parents than Jongin ever had the chance to experience. In Jongdae's mind--swearing that each time the only voice he could hear in the back of his mind was that belonging to either one of his parents--it translated to ' _you're not the important one here'_ , backed up by  _'you've had the chance to experience so many happier experiences with your parents than Jongin ever did, so be grateful'._  Continuing with: _'Don't dwell on yourself and try your hardest to make up for what he's missed, otherwise you're a bad brother, and you're going to let them_ \--or  _us,_  as he heard in their voices-- _down.'_

He then turned back to face the sleeping Yixing, an unexplainable feeling tremoring through him. It's somewhere between extreme gratitude and a stark realization that he'd be beyond lost without him.

He didn't even want to imagine how everything would've turned out had he not met Yixing.

Yixing had become such an integral part of his life that he'd honestly be lost without him. Luhan had too, obviously, but there was something about Yixing that Jongdae clung to, something he'd accepted as his own. He trusted Yixing with his very own life and he'd relied on him so much over the years. In a way, he was Jongdae's safety net.

Perhaps Yixing was the closest thing to a non blood related brother a person could get.

But an older brother. Someone Jongdae could rely on. Someone who could fight for him, who could protect him. Remind him that he mattered and even that he was doing the best job he currently could with all that life had thrown at him.

It was something Jongdae didn't realize how much he needed until that moment. Something he'd never actually taken into account.

Something he wished he could find the words to thank and express just how much Yixing meant to him. He was sure there weren't any words in any language that would be able to get his meaning and his gratitude across.

_It had approximately been one year and six months since the brothers had relocated from the village and took refuge in the forest. After being forced out of the security of their homes and left orphaned, they were launched into a bitterly cold reality. Dangerous to boot._

_The icing on the cake, their very young ages. The eldest brother was nine, the younger merely seven._

_In that year, a lot had changed. They'd been forced to develop skills that up until this point they'd had minimal training in. They were very adept in academic terms, but practical, their parents had deemed them much too young to go out and experience what their future profession would be like. They'd intended to wait until the boys were both at least in double digits before taking them out on a hunt, or mission._

_Clearly their parents' plan had been thwarted steadfast and it left the brothers with a whole pack of knowledge and not a lot of practical experience._

_That year, the elder had done everything he could to help change that. At least somewhat. However, he was only one person. He'd finally reached the long awaited double digits a few weeks ago, but he didn't exactly feel any different. Nor more mature. Nor stronger._

_He knew that compared to last year, he obviously had to have been, especially if he'd made it through an entire year in the wilderness. He was ten now, and ten was nothing short of an adult in his mind. And being an adult meant responsibilities. Even more responsibilities than he'd had thrown against his very young shoulders._

_Jongdae had been trying his hardest, making sure he did the best job he could in ensuring the safety of his younger brother in both mental and physical state of being. He was ten years old and his primary concern was his younger brother. With their circumstances, he didn't see it as a burden, nor did he want to complain about it. It was just the way it had to be._

_He just wished he had someone he could also look up to for guidance. As true as it was becoming that his little brother was both really quite intelligent and mature for his age, as much as the younger wanted to be involved in decision making and wanted to help share out the responsibilities... Jongdae couldn't see past the fact that he was still very young. That as the elder, it was his duty to take lead, to take on all of the responsibilities._

_Sometimes he really did wish that there was a third brother. One that would be older than him. In fact, sometimes when he really thought about it, he swore he could recall knowing someone who had taken up that role in the brothers' life once upon a time. Though not blood related._

_However, he had no factual proof nor ability to recall memories relating to this supposed person, so perhaps it was just a coping mechanism to help him get through with things. Perhaps it was merely even a dream he'd had. One that felt ever so life-like, but once he woke up, realized it really wasn't the case at all._

_He'd had dreams like that recently, in all honesty. Relating to their parents. In that, they didn't actually die. That they'd come back, wrap both he and Jongin in blankets and take them back to the security of their old home, promise that things would go back to how they used to be. That they'd once again reassure him they were undefeatable, that they'd never be taken away from them. That they'd never--willing or unwillingly--leave them._

_That they'd mean it this time. In this little dream like sanctuary he'd found his way into on some nights, bad people didn't exist. Or perhaps in this perfect little world, the bad people had already been found and locked away before they could even consider the prospect of harming anyone else. Before they could think about taking away the two people Jongdae and Jongin relied on the most forever._

_Alas, that couldn't be the case. Reality was different. Waking up to reality was always painful, sometimes sleeping was painful. After finding a way to block it all out for some time, it seemed that was no more. Recently he'd been having nightmares linking too closely to the events that night. Feeling all too realistic. He didn't know how to stop them, or even why they were appearing. He didn't talk to Jongin about it because he didn't want to worry the younger._

_If the younger wasn't getting them at all--like he then presumed--clearly it was just Jongdae's problem. Something he'd have to overcome himself._

_That current day had been dreary since the moment he'd woken up. The skies were a darkened gray, clouds heavy with rain. A lot of the trees were lined with mass amounts of green, but others were beginning to change in color. Oranges, reds, yellows and browns now coated other leaves. Days were getting shorter, nights seeming to be longer. It wasn't exactly cold, but definitely would be considered breezier than the past few months had been._

_After learning how to catch their own food--or fish--as it was the only thing seeming to be on the menu with where they lived, they'd adopted this habit of stocking up on it. Of catching more than they needed, and finding a way to preserve it so it lasted longer. It was actually Jongin's idea to do so, but Jongdae had designed and made the container where they put the food and tried many methods to help preserve the food._

_Some worked, some didn't. Once they found a method that worked, they adopted it as their main._

_He soon heard shuffling from beside of him, so he turned in that direction._

_A newly awoken Jongin pushed himself up and groggily rubbed at his eyes. "Hyung?"_

_"Hm?"_

_"Why are you awake so early?"_

_Jongdae sighed, deciding not to reply. He wasn't going to tell Jongin he'd actually had no sleep at all, because that would also mean him having to explain the reason why. The reason why entailed nightmares. Nightmares included thinking about what had happened to their parents..._

_It seemed Jongin didn't even need his reply to know what was going on however, as he peered at Jongdae in a perplexed manner, eventually crossing his arms over his chest. "I thought you said we have to get as much sleep as possible to be re-energized for the upcoming days. You said we're going to being learning a lot in the near future and have to be prepared for it."_

_"I did," the elder muttered, now scowling. "And I did get some sleep. Just not a whole lot."_

_"Then if that's the case, why do you look so tired? Hyung, didn't you know it's bad to lie to little brothers who know everything? You didn't sleep at all."_

_Jongdae managed an expression that seemed to be a cross between a smile and a scowl. Ever since Jongin had turned eight, he'd also appeared to decide that he wanted to be more responsible also. Which in Jongdae's view, was both a good and a bad thing._

_Even if Jongdae told him that he'd be fine doing it alone, and that the younger could use this time to relax, Jongin just... wouldn't. He'd always find some way to join in on hunting. On cooking. On training. On discussions. On decision making. He'd also become more questioning. He was a lot less likely to back down as easily as he would've been a year ago, and also a lot less likely to just take Jongdae's word for something without first being given proof and a reason why._

_"Yah," Jongdae muttered, kind of incredulous. "Are you actually trying to tell me off right now?"_

_"Maybe," the younger muttered, crinkling his nose at the elder. "You said yourself we need to be prepared for this. If you're not, you're going back on your words. Plus..." He then trailed off, but stopped.  
_  
_"Plus?"_

_"I planned on racing you this morning as a warm up technique. It won't be any good if you're too tired to operate. I'll just end up running circles around you and there'll be no competition."_

_At the mention of competition, Jongdae's ears perked up. "You want a race?" He asked, getting up onto his feet in an instance. "You'll get a race!"_

_This didn't raise Jongin's spirits at all. "No hyung," he muttered. "You should sleep."_

_Jongdae chuckled. "Are you chickening out already? Scared I'll beat you?"_

_Jongin's nose crinkled. "More like, I'm scared I'll beat you. If you're tired you won't even be competition. Plus, going too long without sleep can make you sick, hyung." He cast a meaningful glance at his older brother and Jongdae tried not to flinch back._

_"You're acting like I'm making a habit of skipping out on sleep or something. That's ridiculous." He tried his hardest to laugh it off, but even the laughter came out sounding awkwardly nervous. Like he was hiding something._

_Jongin sighed, sending another meaningful look Jongdae's way. Jongdae presumed it meant something along the lines of 'I can see right through you' but thankfully the younger didn't push any further into this topic. "You should rest. I'll go out and warm up and train a little by myself, it's okay."_

_Jongdae's eyes widened momentarily at this. "Nope," he said instantly. "You're not going anywhere alone. Tired or not, I'll race you."_

_"Fine," the younger muttered after a bout of silence passed. "But it's your own fault if you end up collapsing out of exhaustion, okay?"_

_The elder only scoffed._

 

_On the way back to where they camped, Jongin was leading, Jongdae tailing behind. It wasn't intentional of either, just evidence of how tired the elder actually was._

_It took a few minutes before the younger even realized that his brother wasn't beside him. When he did, he turned around and saw him trailing behind as if the weight of the world was currently placed upon his shoulders. Jongin blinked, just about to open his mouth and say something._

_"Don't even," the elder said, instantly cutting him off._

_The younger blinked a little too innocently. "I was just going offer you a piggyback ride, is all."_

_"Yah!" Jongdae exclaimed. "You're a baby! I'd crush you."_

_"I'm not a baby," Jongin muttered, nose crinkling. "Stop saying that."_

_Jongdae merely scoffed. "Yes you are."_

_"No, I'm not."_

_"Yes, you are!"_

_"No, I'm not!"_

_"Okay," Jongdae said. "Then how old are you?"_

_"Eight," Jongin said as he tipped his chin up confidently, firmly crossing his arms over his chest._

_"And you don't consider that a child?!"_

_Jongin was quiet for a few minutes. "Maybe elsewhere, but not for us."_

_Jongdae grimaced a little, but made sure it wasn't very detectable as he laughed it off with a scoff. "Whatever," he muttered. "Regardless of where we are and what situation we're in, until you're in double digits you're still a child. Are you in double digits?"_

_Jongin pouted. "No. But--"_

_"Nu-uh." Jongdae waggled his finger condescendingly. "No buts. You're a child."_

_"But in our situation... it really does make a difference. How can I be a child with how things are?"_

_"Because I'm your older brother and I said--" Before he could even finish his sentence a loud clatter coming from up ahead was heard._

_Both brothers jumped._

_"What was that?" Jongin whispered._

_"Stay behind me," was the first thing Jongdae said. His instincts kicked in and he manoeuvred them around so that it was now him leading, Jongin tailing slightly behind. He'd arranged them so Jongin was hidden from sight, really glad he was taller than his younger brother in this moment._

_"Hyung--"_

_"Listen to me, Jongin. Stay behind me."_

_"Who--or what--is it?" The younger made sure to hush his tone, as he held onto the material of Jongdae's clothing._

_"That's what I'm going to find out." Jongdae then turned around and crouched down a bit. "I want you to go hide behind the trees, okay? Don't come out, and just stay there. Whoever--or whatever--it is, I'll deal with it. Don't make your presence known."_

_Jongin didn't look happy with what Jongdae had just said. "What if you get hurt--? Won't you need backup?"_

_"I'll be fine, okay? Like I said before, I'm your big brother and big brothers and invincible. I won't get hurt."_

_Jongin still didn't look convinced. "That's exactly what--" He then stopped, deciding not to bring that up. Hyung never seemed to react too well to it. "Jongdae, you need back up."_

_Jongdae was about to reply to what Jongin had said, but then his mouth fell open as he retraced back on what the younger had said._

_"Yah!"_

_Jongin's eyebrows furrowed together. "What?" He mumbled._

_"Did you seriously just refer to me as Jongdae?! By itself?! Aish, you little brat--!"_

_Jongin's lips turned down into a pout. "I don't see the big deal," he murmured. "It's your name, is it not?"_

_Jongdae's eye twitched. "You don't see the big deal?! It's about respect for those older than you!"_

_"But you're only two years older than me..." Jongin always wondered what it was that was so bad about referring to his hyung by his name without the honorific attached. Realizing he'd probably never understand, he diverted the topic. "I should come with you."_

_Jongdae instantly shook his head. "No. No way. Find a place to hide behind in the trees and stay there until I come back, alright?"_

_"What if you don't come back?"_

_"I will. I promise."_

_Jongin looked the other way, an anxiety bubbling up within him._

_Jongdae noticed this and took a gentle hold of his younger brother's hand, reassuring him._

_"Trust me, okay?"_

_Jongin nodded reluctantly, watching on as his elder brother made his way to their camp. Before he made his way inside, Jongdae turned back and motioned for the younger to find a place in the trees. Jongin sighed but complied. After he'd found his spot in the trees, he couldn't see much of anything--which reminded him all too much of that one night--only this time he couldn't hear much of anything, either._

  
_Jongdae squeezed his eyes closed and took a deep breath to calm himself down. Once he'd done this he began making his way inside of their camp, trying to inconspicuously check where his little brother had hidden himself. He couldn't see him, there were too many trees. But he knew the younger had done as he'd asked._

_And he knew that he had to protect them both. So with this new found courage, he quickened his pace, making his way into the camp's main area. He had high hopes that whoever--or whatever--was in there wouldn't pick up on his light footsteps._

_Once there, he glanced around, his eyes immediately landing on their target. It was a person after all._

_A boy._

_A boy who didn't appear to be much older than he was, upon closer inspection._

_Jongdae backed up a bit, not wanting to be noticed. He crept over towards the container he'd built for the supplies, hoping to use it as a weapon if necessary but just as he was but an inch away, a twig snapped underneath his feet._

_The person he'd been creeping up on froze, snapping their head towards the sound, eyes wide. Jongdae had no time to move, so instead stood as tall as he possibly could, not backing down._

_The person's eyebrows furrowed together. He muttered a sentence that was completely unintelligible to Jongdae. Jongdae just blinked in sheer confusion. The boy then scoffed. "Should've just gone with my instincts. I knew they were right."_

_Jongdae only blinked, feeling even more confused than before._

_"Basically," the boy said. "You shouldn't make it so easy to figure out where you're from, kid. Knowing more than one language gives you a great advantage. It's apparent you only know one, which also means you inhabited the right side of the village, at least at one point."_

_Jongdae's eyes widened. "What? How--?"_

_The boy inched closer and Jongdae jumped back. "Why haven't I seen you around before?" He asked and Jongdae stayed silent, not knowing what to say._

_After a while, he finally settled on, "Who are you?"_

_"I won't answer any of your questions," the boy said, drinking in his surroundings. "At least not until you answer any of mine. When did you move here?"_

_"Who are you? What do you want?"_

_It was in that moment that the boy held out his foot, with the intent of tripping Jongdae over, but Jongdae instantly moved out of the way, dodging it._

_"Hmm," the boy said, nodding. "Interesting. So you're not entirely useless. Still, I can't forgive your first mistake."_

_Jongdae stayed quiet. The boy once again inched closer, and Jongdae inched backwards with every step the boy took forwards._

_"Aww," he cooed, sounding a little too sarcastic for it to be genuine. "You're actually afraid? How cute."_

_Jongdae scowled. "It's called taking precaution from random trespassers you know nothing about who've infiltrated the place where you take refuge."_

_He was still inching forwards. He tutted. "Such big words for such a little guy. Maybe there's more to you than meets the eye. However, I hope you realize this isn't a place for kids, kid."_

_Jongdae held his ground. "I'm not a kid."_

_"Please." The boy scoffed. "You don't look a day past ten."_

_Jongdae folded his arms over his chest. "Three weeks until eleven, actually."_

_The boy snorted. "That's pathetic. Do you know how old I am?"_

_"Humor me."_

_"I'm_  eleven.  _I'm a whole year older than you, because I'll be turning_ twelve _soon._ " _He stood in front of Jongdae now, meeting him face to face. "Look, I get it. You're a kid, you wanted to wander around and see what else there was to the world, right?_  
_Maybe you had an argument with your parents, whatever it was. But this place, you shouldn't be here. Go back home to your parents, make up with them, let them know you're still alive, whatever. I can bet you that whatever's going on right now isn't the end of the world and they'll forgive you._  
_People like me, I've got no home. I need these patches of land, purely for survival. I don't need kids like yourself hanging around for a few days because they want to rebel and feel like an adult. It's ridiculous.  Just go home."_

_Somehow, Jongdae managed to keep a composed front. "You have no idea what you're talking about right now. I have just as much right to be here as you."_

_The boy scoffed. "Fact of the matter is, I don't want you to be here. This place doesn't belong to you."_

_"It doesn't belong to you either," However it wasn't Jongdae who said this, but Jongin. The younger Kim brother came into view as he did, watching the boy that was apparently a bit older than his hyung with regard._

_"Yah," Jongdae hissed as widening in disbelief at the sight of him. "I told you to stay hidden. What are you doing?"_

_If anything was to go by, the boy found this hilarious once he glanced up and met Jongin's eyes. "What the hell is this?" He guffawed. "Who's this little runt? What is he, like, five?"_

_Jongin chose not to reply to this. "That's none of your concern," he said instead. "What matters here is that you're unjustly trying to kick us out of here for no apparent reason."_

_"Actually," he drawled. "I have my reasons."_

_"I bet they're not very convincing, somehow."_

_The boy's eyes narrowed. "Hey," he muttered, now casting a glance back at Jongdae. "What the hell is this? You've got a five year old to do all of your dirty work? Geez."_

_"Do I really look five?" Jongin muttered under his breath and Jongdae chuckled as he nodded, hoping to emphasize the fact that Jongin did look very young. Jongin then glanced up and met the older-than-hyung boy's eyes. "I'm not five. He's not making me do anything."_

_"Do you think I'm going to take anything you say seriously, kid? You're even younger than this guy over here."_

_"It'd be your mistake if you didn't."_

_The boy let out a sarcastic laugh. "Is that so?"_

_Jongin nodded. "So how about we come to an agreement rather than stand around idly and act like idiots? You're wasting what could be important time for us right now, if you didn't know."_

_The boy seemed to mutter something under his breath that sounded an awful lot like 'is this seriously happening?'. "Look," he began, the paused, shaking his head in disbelief. "How the hell can I come to an agreement with a fucking five year old? This is ridiculous. You're a kid, you don't know shit."_

_But Jongdae used this time to intercept. "No, he's right." In reference to Jongin. "He may be young, but he's right. You're obviously here for a reason, and so are we. So how about we settle whatever differences we have and come to an agreement?"_

_The boy tutted. "Fine." He sent quite a menacing glance at them both. "Battle me then. If I lose, I'll leave you alone and never bother either of you again. You can continue living here in peace. But if I win, you hand this camp straight over and get the hell out of my sight. Deal?"_

_Jongdae paused for a second. "Me?" He pointed at himself. "Or him?" In reference to Jongin. He hoped with all that he was worth, the elder boy would pick himself and not Jongin._

_The boy laughed. The sound was loud, incredulous. "You seriously think I'm going to request a fight with a five year old kid? Of course I'm intending to fight with you, not the five year old."_

_Jongin's eyes narrowed, a peeved expression making its way onto his features._

_"Hopefully not," Jongdae said. "And even if you did, I wouldn't let you."_

_Jongin just sighed at this, wondering how long this 'you're a kid' thing went on for. He was already exceedingly tired with it._

_Finally, he decided to speak up about it, "If we're going by age--rather than measuring with maturity--hyung's a 'kid' too, if you didn't know._ _Just because he's a little bit older than me and a little taller than me doesn't make that any less of a fact. If you're such an adult, you'd know better than to pick fights for no reason at all. It makes you seem like the child, in all honestly. Which when regarding your age, you are too." Jongin then took a breath. "With that all in mind, this kind of life doesn't allow anyone the time or freedom to be a child. It completely abolishes a childlike mindset within months. By that reasoning, none of us are kids, and all of us stand a chance."_

_"You two are something else," the boy muttered. "But fine. I'll meet you both here tomorrow morning. Then we'll fight. Loser gets the hell out of the place, deal?"_

Present Jongdae blinked. "If you had've asked me back then, I would've had no idea that we'd become so close. Nor how." He chuckled. "Life has a funny way of turning out, no?"

But the progression that took place after they'd come to their agreement made it very obvious to Jongdae as to how and why he got close to Yixing.

_A few weeks since they'd come to their agreement had taken place. Jongdae had still been a little weary at first of the elder boy, but as more time passed, the more he'd begun to let his guard down._

_Funny thing was, neither knew the other's names. It was something Jongdae had always intended to ask, but somehow always ended up slipping his mind. He didn't know if they were friends or not, but the boy would come every so often and pay visits them and genuinely just... talk. Sometimes he'd ask how the progress of their training was going, and give tips on how they could improve._

_He also still seemed somewhat weary of them. But he hadn't tried to throw them out of their patch of forest unlike the first time they'd met, so that could only be a good thing._

_He remembered one specific point in time. Jongin was fast asleep, curled up in a fetal position with a blanket wrapped around his small frame. Jongdae had had some sleep, but not enough to be considered a sufficient night's rest. He wasn't complaining though, he'd take what he was given at this point._

_It seemed sleeping problems were just a daily routine for him now, that no matter what he'd do, he couldn't escape them. He was sure Jongin knew that it was a recurring thing, just that he didn't know how to bring it up and discuss it. Jongdae just didn't want the younger to worry. So he kept quiet about it also._

_"Peek-a-boo," a voice whispered from behind him, as a newly turned twelve year old boy whose name Jongdae still didn't know came into view and perched down beside him._

_"Hi, uh..."_

_"Interesting," the boy said. "It seems as if we're on the same page already."_

_Jongdae quirked an eyebrow._

_"You've been wondering about my name lately, haven't you, why I haven't told you?"_

_Jongdae nodded. "I've come to a few conclusions as to why we still haven't discussed the topic of names, however."_

_"I wonder what those are."_

_"Do you want me to tell you?"_

_"It's up to you, I guess. You probably won't hit the reason why straight off the bat." The boy edged a little closer. "I'm actually here to give you my name, surprising as it is."_

_Jongdae blinked in surprise. "Really?"_

_"Really," the boy affirmed. "It's Lay."_

"I always wondered why you didn't ask either of ours at that time, you know. It bothered me for weeks. And then I found out, it was quite eye opening, honestly."

_"Anyway," Lay had said on one of his visits, almost a week later._

_"Since you now know my name..."_

_"You want ours?" Jongdae guessed easily._

_Lay nodded, but there was a calculating expression on his features than ten year old Jongdae didn't exactly notice at first glance. "Sure," he said, but it sounded quite evasive._

_Jongdae chose not to dwell on this. "I'm Jongdae," Jongdae said. He then pointed towards his sleeping brother. "And he's Jongin, we're brothers."_

_Lay tutted. "Had a feeling it'd pan out this way."_

_Jongdae blinked, not following along. "Huh?"_

_"You've just broken the first rule of all the rules. You never tell some random person you barely know your real name. Not in this place. You need a code name to get by. As intelligent as you both clearly are, you're still obviously novices in the application of things, aren't you?"_

_"So your real name isn't Lay?"_

_Lay shook his head. "Of course it's not."_

_Jongdae nodded, but still appeared slightly confused. "And--but--you're not just a random person, Lay."_

_Lay tutted once more. "As flattered as I am, you've just broken the second rule. Trusting a person too easily. Before they've proven why you should trust them." With this Lay stood up. "I'll be going now. I'll probably be back within a few days. Make sure you've got yourselves code names by then, alright?"_

_Jongdae nodded, waving Lay off. Once he was out of vicinity he shuffled over to his sleeping brother and shook him awake._

_"Jonginnie?" He whispered._

_Jongin grumbled, not wanting to comply._

_"Hey, come on, wake up."_

_Grudgingly_ _, Jongin did as instructed. "What?" He mumbled, sleepily._

_"I need your help."_

_Jongin sat up to full attention at this. "What with?"_

_"We need to write down these rules and memorize them, for starters."_

 

_Lay's visits became much more frequent after this instance, and the brother's development continued to rise at a high with his input. Lay noticed this too, so it wasn't exactly much of a surprise when he met up with Jongdae one night and brought the prospect of cohabitation and working together as a team to the table. He'd long since realized he liked the brothers and their presence and input._

_In fact a month and a half ago--which would've marked their fourth month of knowing him--he'd even given them his real name._

_After leaving and telling Jongdae to take it into consideration--the fact that the patch of forest he inhabited was much spacier and how he'd been living this life longer than the brothers and knew know hows and many useful tricks and if they were in constant proximity would also mean it'd be easier to teach them._

_Which is another thing Jongdae was looking forward to. It was evident he and Jongin were very adept at intellectual endeavors and very advanced for their age in that aspect, but even after almost two years, their practical abilities never seemed be reaching that same level. Lay--or as he now referred to him, Yixing--was adept at both, clearly. Leading by a margin or two by practical. What Yixing didn't know academically, both Jongin and Jongdae were sure to have. What Jongin and Jongdae didn't know practically, Yixing was sure to have._

_He realized how much could come out of them teaming up and was all up for it. He just had to get Jongin's approval._

_"Jonginnie?" He remembered questioning softly once the younger had awoken._

_Jongin rubbed at his eyes. "Yes, hyung?"_

_"How do you feel about Yixing?" Jongin glanced confusedly at Jongdae, not comprehending. "Sorry, I meant Lay?"_

_Jongin was quiet for a while._

_"Do you like him, Jongin? I can tell him to get lost if you'd like."_

_Jongin was quiet for a while, observing them from a distance. "I like Lay. I don't know who Yixing is." Jongin wasn't aware that Yixing had given his real name out to Jongdae, so believed Jongdae was referencing two completely different people._

_"Yixing is his real name."_

_Jongin seemed to perk up. "He told you his real name?"_

_Jongdae nodded excitedly. "So anyway, answer the question. How do you feel about him?"_

_Jongin pursed his lips, clearly deep in thought. "He's very... interesting?"_

_Jongdae nodded._

_"I like what he has to say and I think the more we know him the more trustworthy he appears to become. I feel... safe around him."_

_"Well that's great. He, uh, he sent me an offer tonight."_

_Jongin quirked an eyebrow. "An offer?"_

_"He asked me if we'd be interested in joining him at his side of the camp. He said it's much spacier and that we're a lot safer off together and I told him I'd take it into consideration, but that was mainly because I want to know how you feel about it."_

_Jongin contemplated it for a few hours. Finally, he turned to an anxious Jongdae and nodded. "I think it could be useful. We should."_

 

_At first, things went smoothly. Jongin enjoyed the freedom that the new camp encompassed. He enjoyed being close to Yixing as it meant more chance and opportunities to practice. In fact, things were going so smoothly that Jongdae was beginning to feel a little uneasy._

_At first he brushed it off as probably nothing. That maybe things were finally going right for them._

_But as more time went by, it became evident that there really was reasoning behind his uneasiness._

Present Jongdae shivered. This was possibly the instance that broke his heart like no other.

_He remembered every single thing about it, as if the memory was deeply engraved into his mechanism. He wasn't a person who cared much about the weather, he'd stated that already, but the way in which the light drizzle sprinkled and lightly patted the canopies, he swore it just added to the effects. Ever since the night it happened, he'd been preparing himself to have to witness his brother's realization._

_He'd had a talk with Jongin about what had really taken place, but thus far, Jongin had showed no signs of remembrance. Jongdae felt this was too good to hold true forever, but didn't question it further because the last thing he wanted was his little brother having to face the same things he had been for months._

_Nevertheless, he'd prepared himself for such an instance. For a breakdown, a shouting match. An argument. Questioning._

_All of it._

_He didn't take into account the prospect of nightmares because he believed it only applied to him._

_He was wrong._

_Two weeks away from Jongin's ninth birthday did his first parent related nightmare take place. Jongdae didn't question much at first. Yixing was out, he said he'd gone to visit a friend. He didn't give many details about it just that he'd be back._

_Jongin was napping. It wasn't night, merely evening. The sky was only just beginning to darken. There was a shiver inducing breeze blowing by, soft drops of snow hitting the bare trees. It was very quiet, a serene scene._

_Until it was interrupted by a very gentle whimper. Jongdae's eyebrows furrowed. The whimper sounded again, this time sounding more like a soft cry._

_It took him a few minutes until he realized it was Jongin making the sound. Instantly hopping to his feet, he made his way over to his younger brother. Maybe he was cold?_

_Jongdae placed another blanket on the younger's frame, hoping it would warm him up. He pressed a hand against Jongin's forehead and jumped back at how surprisingly warm it felt. The younger was coated in a sheen of sweat._

_"Jongin?" He whispered._

_There was no reply. But the closer Jongdae got, the more worried he became. Jongin's eyebrows were furrowed tightly. His face scrunched up in what appeared to be a perpetually distraught expression._

_"Jonginnie, are you alright?"_

_Once again there was no reply and Jongdae was expecting this, the younger was sleeping. He finally decided he had to do something to help the younger when he noted his wettened eyes and the droplets that were falling from his brother's cheeks._

_Gently shaking him awake, Jongdae was all set for wrapping up his baby brother into his arms and calming him down from his very obvious nightmare. However, he froze on the spot at the words the younger mumbled._

_"Mom?" Was the first. "Dad?" Followed. A newly awoken Jongin--still very disorientated, looked around, clearly searching for their parents. Jongdae felt something inside him clinch when he watched the realization dawn on the features of his younger brother._

_"Jonginnie?"_

_Jongin sat up, shaking his head. "They didn't just die," he said. Jongdae squeezed his eyes closed, knowing he wouldn't be able to cope with witnessing the expression currently painted on Jongin's features. A stark realization, frozen to the bone. No anger, or denial, just pain. "They were murdered."_

 

_The change in Jongin after that day, though not very obvious to Yixing--as he didn't know him to extent that Jongdae did--was immense._

_It took Yixing witnessing him interacting with someone else to take note of it. Which was exactly what happened the day of Jongin's ninth birthday._

_Jongdae had been extremely gentle when dealing with his younger brother within the past two weeks. He gave him time, never rushing him. Always reminding him he was there, that he wasn't going to leave him._

_That even if their parents were gone, they still had each other. No one could change that. Not for as long as they lived._

_Yixing was out visiting his friend again, but he'd wished Jongin a happy birthday prior. Jongin simply nodded, avoiding eye contact entirely. He'd also stuck around to let Jongdae in on the news that he'd be bringing his friend over. Also that it could potentially be a permanent thing._

_Jongdae perched_   _down beside Jongin. Jongin tried to shuffle away but upon realization that it was his brother stayed where he was._  
_"Happy birthday, Jonginnie."_

_Jongin nodded. But he didn't reply. He stared out at the canopy, at the bare trees. He barely blinked._

_Jongdae exhaled a shaky breath, knowing he had to be strong for Jongin. "I'm sorry they can't be with us right now."_

_Jongin didn't reply. He still stared out at the canopy, still barely blinking._

_"But do you know who is, instead?" Jongdae sighed at the realization that Jongin wouldn't be replying any time soon. "Yixing's bringing that friend he's always visiting. He said that the friend would really like to meet us. We both thought that a day like today--your birthday--would be an opportune time, right?"_

_"A friend?" Jongdae blinked. It was the first thing he'd heard the younger say in days._

_Trying not to wince at how lifeless Jongin's voice sounded, Jongdae tried to keep up his enthusiasm. "His name is Luhan. Like Yixing, he's also Chinese. He's a year older than Yixing and apparently very nice."_

_Jongin nodded, but still looked very disinterested. Very disconnected._

_Jongdae sighed. "I'll let you know when he's here, okay?"_

 

_An hour had passed. Jongin hadn't moved. Shuffling could be heard in the camp, and it was followed by voices intentionally hushing themselves._

_Jongdae hopped onto his feet, but Jongin stayed frozen in place. He smiled at Yixing and his friend, a slim blond boy with doe eyes. He looked very friendly, approachable. Jongdae instantly felt at ease, as though they were going to get along. "Hi," he said chirpily. Yixing had beforehand let them know it was okay to introduce each other by their real names. "I'm Jongdae."_

_"Hi Jongdae." Luhan smiled, reaching out his hand to shake with Jongdae's. "I'm Luhan."_

_A short amount of time passed, conversations buzzing by. Jongdae then used this time to manoeuvre Luhan around to the direction of his brother, who was still sitting motionlessly._

_"Hi," Luhan said, crouching down to Jongin's level. "I'm Luhan, you must be Jongin, right? I heard it's your birthday. I brought you a gift." He held it out for Jongin to take but soon realized after a few minutes that the younger didn't plan on taking it from his hands._

_Luhan let out an awkward chuckle. "O-oh," he said. "I see. I'll, uh, just leave it here then. Here you go." He placed it gently beside Jongin but once again Jongin made no movement to glance at it, or move towards it._

_He then crouched down beside Jongin, with the intention of starting up a conversation with him, like he had with Jongdae. Jongin didn't reply to anything Luhan was saying but in that exact moment, Luhan swayed a little too far, and ended up bumping his leg against Jongin's._

_Jongin instantly scooted away, bringing a large proximity between them, a flinch evident on his features. He buried his head into his hands and began rocking back and forth, wanting to shut everything out._

_Jongdae scooted over to the scene. "What happened?" He asked worriedly._

_"I-I don't know. My leg accidentally touched Jongin's and--he. I-I'm sorry," he stuttered. "Did I do something wrong?"_

_"N-no," Jongdae tried to chuckle his anxiousness away. "Recently, he--" He shook his head. "It's um, don't worry about it. It's not your fault. Perhaps it's better if you accompany Yixing for the time being? I'll be here with Jongin, don't worry."_


	8. When I'm Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAY7Lz6t6gU

_Jongdae peered at Jongin curiously once they were clearly out of ear shot. “What was that about?”_

_Jongin didn’t reply._

_Jongdae let out a long sigh, expecting this. “Whatever,” he finally murmured. “I’ll be right here if you need me, okay?”_

_Jongin stared at the rippling water, hardly blinking. Once again, not replying._

_"You know," Jongdae said, scooting closer. "Today is your birthday, it’s supposed to be all about you. You could at least join in the party. I mean, if you’d like, of course."_

_"Aren’t parties a village tradition?"_

_It was becoming a custom for Jongdae to be taken by surprise at the sound of his little brother’s voice, with how little he’d heard of it in the past few weeks. He opened his mouth to reply, but nothing came out._

_Noting this, though hardly reacting, Jongin carried on. “There’s no logical reason why they should be celebrated, not really. Not for us.”_

_"I’m not following along, Jonginnie. What do you mean?"_

_"Isn’t it obvious?" Rather than meet his elder brother’s eyes, Jongin lightly scoffed. "Haven’t you ever questioned how ridiculous the notion of celebrating a birthday actually is?"_

_Jongdae shook his head instantly. “No,” he mumbled. “It was always just one of those things that, you know, just was to me.”_

_"Look at this this way," the younger began, though made no move to close the distance between he and Jongdae, nor turn to face him and connect with him. "Your birthday is the day in which you were given life, right?"_

_Jongdae nodded._

_"The entire essence of it is ridiculous. You did nothing to ensure your birth. It was all done for you, every single thing."_

_"Wow," the elder muttered, seeming to be perplexed. "I never thought of it that way."_

_"The second you’re born, the countdown to your death date begins. You live, it’s an irrefutable fact that you’re going to die. Celebrating that it wasn’t this particular day or this particular year may seem good and well, but it’s not going to change the fact that death is inevitable. Fact still stands that whether you want to or not, you’re going to die."_

_Jongdae was taken aback by this, eyes widening for a moment. “That’s a morbid way to look at things.”_

_"Also realistic," Jongin countered easily. Jongdae wanted to pipe in that the younger was only eight years old and reality should be the last thing on his priority list, but then remembered the situation they were in and found a way to hold his tongue. "But that’s not all."_

_"What else?"_

_"There’s a type of person who values their lives and so celebrate their birthdays with relief, it’s evident. Another year of survival. A year closer to death but not quite yet.  
  Another type of person who wants to put off the inevitable will celebrate their birthdays and completely disregard the inevitability of death. Ignorance is bliss.” Jongin then turned to Luhan, who was watching in curiosity. ”You’re not from around here, are you?”_

_Luhan jumped back, totally unaware he’d be addressed directly. He soon nodded once he’d processed the question, albeit a little nervously._

_"Right. So you could help back me up on this, couldn’t you. The amount of people I’ve known and interacted with in my life thus far—most likely for the rest of it, too—amounts to four. You’d be the fifth. The third type of person will celebrate their birthday because like Jongdae said… that’s the way it is. It’s a custom, a tradition. They’ve never questioned it. Never even taken it into account. You must know more people than me, would you agree?"_

_Luhan nodded, but looked both perplexed and intimidated, so didn’t dare open his mouth to speak._

_"Surely there’s another type of person?" Yixing piped up._

_Jongin nodded. “Correct. There’s the type of person who will question birthdays, ask why it’s a thing.”_

_"You," Jongdae said, nodding. "That’s you."_

_Jongin shrugged indifferently. “It is and it isn’t. I’d say we’re a different type of person all together than what I’ve mentioned previously.”_

_"Really?" Yixing asked. "What’s that, then?"_

_"We’re the type of people who have every reason to celebrate our birthdays with utmost excitement and joy, but we don’t. Do you know why?"_

_Three simultaneous head shakes followed._

_"Perhaps minus you," he directed at Luhan. "I wouldn’t know, I don’t know enough about you."_

_Luhan nodded, shifting his weight on his feet and avoiding holding eye contact with the younger for too long._

_"Reality kicked in too soon for all of us, we know we’re going to die. We know we’re not invincible. Our life spans are predicted to be much shorter than those who follow the ‘normal’ path, with the sheer risk factor and danger attached to it. We could very well not be here next year, next month, next week. Most would assume we should be living like these are our last moments. But we don’t. We don’t celebrate getting a year older like it’s the greatest thing in the world, either. Point one and two dismissed."_

_They all nodded, processing this._

_"I’ve questioned why people celebrate birthdays, Jongdae hasn’t. It’s mixed and matched between this factor. But my main reasoning in believing why we don’t care to celebrate birthdays or make a big deal about it." He laughed, it sounded detached, far away. "Is because we honestly don’t care if we live or die any more."_

_Yixing nodded, seeming to be agreeing. But Jongdae spluttered, entirely taken by surprise._

_"What the hell?!" His voice rose, and Luhan jumped. "Are you insane?"_

_The younger didn’t appear to be affected in the slightest by this. “I bet,” he said. “You won’t have a clear answer to this next question, Jongdae.”_

It’s hyung,  _the elder had wanted to say. “Try me,” he settled on instead._

_Jongin looked him straight in the eye. “What are we living for?” He didn’t look away. “What is our purpose?”_

_"T-that’s two questions," the elder stumbled._

_"With the exact same meaning." Jongin chuckled, the sound eerie. "See? I told you."_

Present Jongdae shivered. “Would he have thought like if what had happened, hadn’t have happened?—Would he have thought the same thing a few days ago if I had’ve asked him?” Jongdae gulped.  ”Perhaps he was like that friend Luhan briefly mentioned to us one time. The one he lost. What was it he described, what did he call it? Depression?”

Jongdae took in a deep breath. “His way of thinking as a child was morbid, definitely. But extremely realistic, also. Aish. I hope he wasn’t depressed. That he isn’t, even. Wouldn’t that mean I really did fail as an older brother?”

Jongdae closed his eyes in pain. “But if I failed wouldn’t that mean he’d end up like… like Luhan’s friend did?” Another shiver tremored through Jongdae. “I wonder if Luhan blamed himself. I know I would. I was so bad at handling this kind of thing back then,” Jongdae muttered. “I still am. I’m sorry Luhan. Maybe I do underestimate you and what you’ve been through far too often.”

"Exactly what I’ve been saying this entire time!" 

"Go back to sleep," Jongdae muttered. "You sound exhausted. Also stop listening in. It’s invasive."

"Stop speaking aloud then! I’d be able to sleep if you shut up, you brat."

Jongdae huffed. “Maybe I like to pretend I’m speaking for an audience or something. That there are people listening in, interested in my life. Past, present and future.”

Yixing scoffed. “We’d have to kill them. No one can know too much information about us, don’t you remember?”

Jongdae nodded. “Of course.” He then chuckled lightly. “But what if these people were harmless?”

"No one’s harmless, stop being sentimental. Or naive. Or whatever the hell you’re being. It’s not like you. I’m going to go back to sleep before I end up getting creeped out."

For the first time in a long time, Jongdae found himself genuinely smiling. “I should probably sing more often.” It wasn’t related to his point, but he found himself genuinely considering it. “It’s really calming. Really does take my mind off things.”

_"Jongin," Jongdae then hissed. "You do realize we have company, don’t you?"_

_Jongin tilted his head to the side, lips quirking upwards mockingly. “Would you prefer I lie to him, Jongdae? Act like my biggest concerns are daisy chains and rippling water?”_

_Jongdae’s eye twitched._  Hyung, hyung, hyung.

_Jongin then blinked a little too innocently for it to be considered genuine. “Everyone has to grow up and face reality at some point.”_

_Jongin edged closer to Luhan. “Why are you here, Luhan?”_

_Luhan glanced at his feet, then at his palms, then back at Jongin. “I—”_

_"Eh," the younger then interrupted. "You don’t have to answer that. I’m actually more interested in the answer to this question. Have you ever killed a man, Luhan?"_

_Even Yixing’s eyes widened at the youngest of the group’s straightforwardness._

_Something seemed to flash through the depths of Luhan’s eyes, but it disappeared in the next second. What took over was an expression that appeared extremely uncomfortable. “I,” he paused. “I’ve, um, witnessed death. And I’ve been trained to defend myself in the case of a near death scenario, if that’s what you’re asking.”_

_Jongin looked like he wanted to push forward with the witnessing death segment, but in the end, didn’t. Something Jongdae was very thankful of. “So you’re not entirely useless then.” He nodded. “I’m guessing you’re going to become a permanent fixture? Why else would you visit a place you’ve never been for a child you’ve never previously seen?” He chuckled. “Unless you, in fact, do know me? Maybe if I look closer I’ll recognize you…”_

_"I don’t know you," Luhan mumbled, cheeks now tinting. "You’re right. We have nothing to do with each other. It’s just—I’m a very lonely person as of late, and I thought I’d well, maybe, try and meet more people? But obviously with where I live that’s really difficult and Yixing was practically a godsend all of this time… and then Yixing mentioned that it was one of his friend’s birthdays and I—it just seemed like the perfect time. Perfect opportunity. I’m sorry if I’m rambling."_

_Jongin glanced up at Yixing a little dubiously. “Since when were we friends?”_

_Yixing scoffed. “Since I allowed both of you to move in with me, no, actually, wait. Since I gave you my actual name!”_

_Jongdae grinned at this, feeling pride bubble within him._

_Jongin appeared to roll his eyes a bit, deciding not to push it, not to bring up that it was clear that Yixing was a lot closer to his elder brother than to him, but decided against it in the end. It could’ve come across the wrong way. Jongin wasn’t angry or jealous about it, he didn’t want it to appear that way. Plus it could’ve encouraged Yixing to try and force himself to get closer to him on a heightened basis and Jongin just wasn’t good at the interaction thing in general, never mind forced interaction. He then turned back to Luhan. “So back to my other question. Does this mean you’re a permanent fixture or not?”_

_"We’re testing him," Yixing had said. "Allowing him a try to see whether he likes it or not. It’s up to him, but honestly, I’d prefer if he stayed. It saves me a trek or two. Plus it means more interaction, and more strength behind our little group. More areas to back up and cover."_

_Jongin nodded._

"Kids are kind of fascinating," Jongdae muttered. "That or we’re all just very out of the ordinary."

He then turned back to face where Yixing was positioned. “Also,” he said. “That’s a thought. I never asked about your parents, Yixing. What were they like?”

There was no reply. “Guess he’s asleep,” Jongdae muttered. “Parents were a touchy subject for me and Jongin, I guess. We were on two entirely opposite ends of the spectrum when dealing with them and what happened.”

_It was true that Jongdae didn’t want to push it, rather coax the younger into it. It was true that Jongin was now well aware of what had happened to their parents, that that discussion had long since passed. But in Jongdae’s honest opinion—in the most objective outside perspective he could muster—he was beginning to realize the way Jongin coped—or rather, appeared not to cope with it at all—it probably wasn’t healthy._

_Even after knowing they didn’t abandon them, that they were cruelly taken away from them against their will, Jongin seemed so distant towards them and their memory. The majority of the time the younger acted as if their parents had never even existed at all. And when they were brought up into passing conversation, his replies regarding them held no conviction. No personal sense of attachment._

_He remembered the pitter-patter of feet, the trickle of the rain. The day he was going to confront the younger himself. He didn’t know what he was expecting, or even if he should expect anything at all._

_But confrontations in this case were better sooner rather than later, right?_

_Especially as he recalled what had happened when he put off confronting Jongin about the fate of their parents before, and the results that followed were not something he enjoyed thinking about._

_He was almost certain the younger lost a lot of respect and trust for him that day, though it was never actually stated as such. Jongdae couldn’t help but worry, especially with the behavior that followed._

_Jongin wouldn’t talk to anyone for a long period of time, a worryingly long period of time. He’d completely blank them out, disregard their presence. Continue to stare out at the canopy, unmoving, unspeaking._

_Like a living corpse. Who watched the hours pass by, allowing sleep to come when it became a necessity, but never allowed it to stay too long._

_He knew the younger had been getting nightmares also and he wished so hard that he knew how to stop them. For both Jongin and himself._

_The truth was, he didn’t. He wasn’t even sure he could talk to Yixing or Luhan about this type of thing either, unless he was certain they’d know how to help. How to take the nightmares away. To make them stop permanently._

_A high probability stood that they wouldn’t know how, and then not only that, they’d have something to hold over both of the brothers. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust either of them, but true that he didn’t trust them with his life. They’d have to do more to prove their loyalty. It wasn’t early stages any more, but it hadn’t been years since they’d all met._

_He knew very well that things could change, that something could arise to make them break apart. And he had to keep that in mind._

_There was also the high probability that whatever was taking place with Jongin was perhaps just the younger’s way of dealing with everything that had already happened, but Jongdae wasn’t certain. He just knew it felt like hell to be on the receiving end of that as his older brother._

_Jongdae wasn’t trained in these kind of endeavors, a fact he had become increasingly aware of. It was one thing being an older brother and taking on the task of ensuring their survival. Physical safety was easy enough once a person got the hang of it, but mental safety was a whole other calibre. The security of the mind was a whole other calibre._

_He had no way to get into the depths of Jongin’s mind and find out what the younger was actually thinking or feeling—he could offer an educated guess, but he’d never know the whole entirety of the truth._

_Especially with how scarcely the younger opened up._

_His younger brother could’ve been going through anything—he could’ve very well been having extremely dangerous thoughts, his nightmares could’ve been beyond damaging—and Jongdae knew he’d have no way of knowing for sure. No way of knowing how to help without the younger’s input and cooperation._

_But as an elder brother in his situation, it was what he’d taken up, so he had to at least try, right?_

_He decided he’d ease into it steadily, rather than jump straight to it. So as they were sitting down one day, just those two—Yixing and Luhan had trailed off earlier that day and Jongdae presumed they’d gone to the river. Whether it was to bathe or to catch something for the rest of them to eat, he didn’t know._

_It was just Jongin and himself left in the camp, and that was the perfect opportunity. No watchful eyes or ears listening in, no reason for Jongin to be weary. Afraid._

_"You know." He’d tried to ease into it as if it was general conversation, hopefully not being too suspicious in that he had ulterior motives. "In all the time that we’ve been here, I don’t recall you mentioning the past much at all."_

_Jongin glanced at him weirdly. “What?”_

_"You know, back before we lived here. When we had a… home."_

_"We do," Jongin had said. "This is our home."_

_"Yes," Jongdae had agreed. "But I mean… not an open home. A home with a roof and with windows and… you know." He tried to make it an inconspicuous transition, hoping his facial expression wouldn’t give him away. "…Parents." A nervous chuckle followed. A nervous chuckle he hoped Jongin wouldn’t pick up on, or at the very least, choose to ignore._

_Jongin was still looking at him weirdly. “What are you getting at?”_

_"Just that… I’ve never seen you reference those times. Sometimes it almost seems like they don’t exist to you."_

_Jongin was quiet for a few minutes. “What’s there to reference?” He finally asked. “They’ve been and gone.”_

_"R-right." Jongdae let out a soft chuckle. "But that still doesn’t negate the existence of memories. Memories of happier times. Nostalgia."_

_Jongin still didn’t seem convinced. “But why would I do that? Dwelling on the past is redundant. What’s gone is gone and it’s not coming back.”_

_For some reason Jongdae felt an anger prickle within him at his brother’s sheer disregard. With his track record at inferring, he was sure Jongin knew what it was that he was referencing, the point he was trying to get at. With that in mind and such a reply, it left Jongdae with a sour taste in his mouth._

_Deciding beating around the bush was getting old, he decided he’d cut straight to chase. Maybe he’d get the response he was looking for this way. “You know what it is I’m getting at already don’t you?”_

_Jongin nodded a little too noncommittally for Jongdae’s liking. “I’d be a fool not to.”_

_"Aish." Jongdae took a deep breath, trying to curb his irritation. "And if so, is your opinion the same?"_

_Jongin was quiet for some time, thinking it through. “It is,” he finally said. Unmoving. Unblinking._

_Annoyance bubbled within Jongdae. He glanced at his brother a little helplessly before looking elsewhere, and taking a deep breath in the hopes of holding it back. It didn’t work. He turned back to face Jongin, eyes slightly narrowed. “Are you even sad?”_

_Jongin merely raised an eyebrow. “Sad?” He said it slowly, as if he was tasting a new recipe for the very first time._

_Jongdae appeared to let out a sigh of frustration. “Your parents are dead, Jongin.”_

_"I know."_

_"You’re nine years old."_

_"I know."_

_"You’re homeless."_

_"I know."_

_Jongdae took a deep breath. “What do these three statements mean to you, Jongin?”_

_Jongin blinked. “They’re just irrefutable facts. Reality.”_

_Jongdae felt himself go cold. “Seriously? That’s all they are to you?”_

_Jongin nodded, not understanding where his brother was going, or why. “Is that wrong? Do you think differently?”_

_Jongdae glanced at his brother in disbelief. “Yes,” he uttered instantly.  ”And clearly I do.”_

_Jongin watched him in apprehension. “Am I… supposed to ask why?”_

_"Aish." Jongdae shook his head in disbelief this time. This did little to help the younger’s apprehension._

_"Maybe I’m supposed to ask what it is you think differently about?"_

_Jongdae placed a tired hand against his temple and sighed. “Just stop speaking Jongin.”_

_Jongin nodded, casting a quick glance at his brother’s face before scooting away. Creating a distance between them. Neither one within arm’s reach any longer._

_Jongdae felt the distance all too suddenly and sighed. “Wait,” he said, shuffling closer. “Jonginnie…”_

_Jongin glanced up, but he didn’t say anything._

_"You want me to explain?" Noting that the younger wasn’t going to respond, or was having trouble formulating the words, Jongdae continued, "I do think of these things differently, evidently. If the roles were reversed and you had’ve said the first statement to me, and then asked me what I thought of it, my reaction would’ve been miles different. Or, I guess, in contrast to you, I would’ve reacted. You didn’t appear to at all."_

_Jongin nodded, but his eyebrows furrowed in mild confusion. “R-right.”_

_"Rather than just evoke sadness within me, it would’ve also evoked anger. Our parents aren’t just dead, they were murdered."_

_"Anger… how? As in… punching things and raised voices?"_

_"It’s beyond that point, Jongin."_

_Jongin hummed, trying to piece together what that meant. What beyond the point of anger was. He didn’t ask, expecting that Jongdae would soon elaborate._

_Jongdae didn’t elaborate. “The second?” He said instead. “You’re nine and I’m eleven. As much as either one of us likes to deny it, that’s young. We’re young. Do you know what other kids our age will be doing right now, Jongin?”_

_Jongin shook his head. “No,” he said. “I don’t.”_

_"They’ll be playing around in the safety of their garden, wide eyed and bushy tailed. Wanting to adventure, wanting to explore. Not having to worry whether today is their last day of being alive. Whether they’re going to starve or not."_

_"But it could still happen," the younger pointed out. "It could very well be their last day on earth. They could run out of food, too."_

_"Exactly," Jongdae agreed. "But they’re too young to care, or even to take note of it. These are matters that are handled by their parents, or whomever they’re living with. We’ll never have that kind of luxury. That kind of ignorance."_

_"We never did."_

_"This also evokes anger within me. Injustice." Jongdae sighed. "And so does the fact that we’re homeless. In the sense of not having a roof over our heads."_

_Jongin blinked, taking it in. “What’s beyond the point of anger, Jongdae?”_

_"It’s hyung," the elder said tersely. "I won’t tell you until you refer to me as hyung."_

_Jongin noted the seriousness in both his older brother’s expression and tone of voice. “Okay,” he said. “What’s beyond the point of anger, Jongdae-hyung?”_

_"A thirst for revenge."_

 

_"Revenge?" If it weren’t for the condescending tone the younger had adopted, Jongdae would’ve nodded. "You’re joking, right?"_

_Jongdae blinked, clearly taken aback. “No,” he said clearly. Crisply. “I’m not.”_

_"Then you clearly haven’t thought it through."_

_"Oh," Jongdae said, feeling the bitterness from before bubble back up.  "Haven’t I?"_

_Jongin nodded, confident in his point._

_"How’s that then?" Jongdae raised an eyebrow, adopting the same condescending tone his brother had beforehand. "Are you inside my head?"_

_"You haven’t thought it through," the younger repeated. "If I have to elaborate on that, that only solidifies my point."_

_"How so?"_

_"If you were aware of who it was that did it, who killed our parents, I can confidently assume that I’d be notified too. Even if just for the security factor. So I’d know what to look out for. Plus, if that was the case, you’d be a lot less accommodating to people you’ve haven’t met prior. In any circumstance. You’d be weary of anyone and everyone that isn’t me. Or yourself."_

_Jongdae blinked. “Is this about…”_

_"It’s not about anyone in particular," Jongin interrupted, not wanting it to go down a wrong route. "Just that you’re putting yourself in a position of danger every time you open up to a stranger. Every time you’re accommodating to a stranger. Even in the instance that you knew who did it, which you don’t, it would be dangerous."_

_Rather than take this as a jab at him, Jongdae nodded along, catching on to the undertones. “So you think it was more than one person, as well?”_

_Jongin shrugged. “More than likely. Unless they possessed super human strength, it’s unlikely that one person would be able to take on two highly skilled—potentially the best in their trade—people at the exact same time, and kill them both. At the exact same time.”_

_Jongdae nodded. “That’s what I was thinking, too.” He then turned to face Jongin. “I do have one indicator, though. I’m quite sure.”_

_"What is it?"_

_"A pocketwatch. I think it’s a token. It was left behind on the day."_

 

_Soon after, Yixing and Luhan returned back to the camp. They were carrying supplies with them, Luhan humming a tune, Yixing focusing on keeping the supplies upright._

_"Hey," Yixing said, facing Jongdae. "You’re still up?"_

_"It’s early," Jongdae noted, pointing his finger at the sky. "Besides," he continued. "When there’s only two people in the camp, it’d be foolish to allow both of them to sleep. You never know what could be lurking, or what could happen."_

_Yixing pouted, catching onto his actual intentions instantly. “You still don’t trust me?” He placed a hand on his heart and mocked hurt._ _"Actually, I guess it’s a good thing. You’re learning. I’m proud."_

_"Jongin’s sleeping?" Luhan then asked, his voice gentle._

_"He is a child," Jongdae said, sounding a little stoic. "Children need sleep."_

_"Of course," Luhan said, still sounding as gentle as before. "It’s just… we brought food. Fish, from the river. I wouldn’t want either of you to miss out on a meal, it could impact on your health and we wouldn’t want that, would we? Also if you’re both up, perhaps you could even help with the preparation, you know… learn a new skill?"_

_Jongdae glanced at Luhan’s face for a few seconds, taking in the genuine expression painted on it, and nodded. “I’ll go get Jongin.”_

_Luhan’s smiled widened. “Great!”_

_Once Jongdae had moved over, he crouched down. He placed one hand on the younger’s shoulder and shook him._

_"I’m not asleep," Jongin muttered, brushing his hand off._

_"Yah, you’ve been awake this whole time?" The elder hissed, incredulous. "Thanks a lot!"_

_Jongin shuffled up into a sitting position. “No one was stopping you from sleeping. If you wanted to sleep, you should’ve slept.”_

_Jongdae huffed. “And left the camp empty? I don’t think so.”_

_"It wouldn’t have been empty. If you had’ve double checked to see if I were awake or not, you could’ve easily gotten some rest. I would’ve gotten straight up."_

_Jongdae scoffed. “But—”_

_"I’m not a child."_

_Jongdae rolled his eyes. “Sure thing,” he said lightly. “Let’s go? We’re learning a new skill today.”_

_Jongin nodded, following behind._

_Once they made their way over to where Yixing and Luhan were situated, Luhan had them gather around the firewood. “Yixing’s going to light it, okay? We’re going to go prepare the fish.”_

_Jongdae nodded, but Jongin took a little more convincing. “Wouldn’t it be better if one of us helps Yixing light the fire?”_

_Luhan blinked, slightly taken aback. “Yixing’s highly capable, don’t worry.”_

_"I’m not worrying—"_

_"It’s okay, Jongin," Luhan said softly, albeit a little insistently, which came across as quite condescending in Jongin’s opinion. "He’ll be fine. This is for you and Jongdae, so you can learn a new skill."_

_"Isn’t fire lighting also a skill?"_

_"Well, of course, but—"_

_"But what?" Jongin pressed._

_Before Luhan could reply, Jongdae turned to face Jongin. “Yah,” he snapped. “Just do as you’re told, okay? We can learn how to light firewood next time.”_

_"Fine," Jongin said, eyes zeroed in on the back of Luhan’s blond head. He made sure to stay a few steps behind._

 

_"Okay so here are the fish." Luhan indicated towards the fish. "We’re going to be gutting them and cutting into them so we can cook them."_

_Jongin still seemed apprehensive. “Shouldn’t we clean them first?”_

_Luhan blinked and then chuckled. “Did I not tell you beforehand? I already have washed them.”_

_Jongin nodded slowly. “Okay.”_

_"Would you like to try it first, Jonginnie?" Luhan asked, smiling at the youngest of the group. Hoping the use of endearment would allow the younger to warm up to him easier. He didn’t want Jongin disliking him, especially since it was likely he’d be becoming a permanent fixture._

_"It’s Jongin," Jongin said tersely._

_Luhan’s smile turned into a frown. “Of course. I apologize.”_

_Jongdae glanced between them both, a little unsure. He said nothing, just watched on._

_Jongin took the knife from Luhan’s hand, taking a deep breath. He glanced up and met Luhan’s eyes. “I just cut into it?”_

_Luhan looked like he wanted to go into a tirade of explanation, but he realized they were probably very hungry. He also believed they’d get the gist of it pretty quickly, so he settled for, “First tries may be messy. It’s all about trial and error. You’ll get the gist of it eventually.”_

Present Jongdae shivered. A wince followed. “Some gist that was.”

_It’d been a few seconds since Jongin had cut into its flesh, a few seconds since a spurt of blood had trickled down the board. A few seconds since he’d frozen on the spot, eyes wide, body immobile. It took another two minutes of him looking sheerly paralysed for the others’ to notice._

_"Jongin?" Jongdae asked. He waved his hand in front of the immobile boy’s face. "Yah, Jongin!" Jongdae inched closer, examining his younger brother’s face. "You look really pale, what happened?"_

_In that moment Jongin seemed to snap out of it, but also in that moment turned over and vomited the contents of his stomach up._

_Luhan blinked, eyes widening. “Oh no,” he gasped. “What happened? Why is he being sick?”_

_Once he was done, his hands were shaking and he looked entirely out of place, frantic. Like he couldn’t place where he was and what was going on._

_"Maybe it’s something in the fish," Luhan continued, sounding frantic. "Maybe you should check it out too, Jongdae? Check if yours is the same?"_

_"Maybe," Jongdae said, nodding. "I just—" Glancing back at Jongin, worry in his eyes. Frantic body language._

_Luhan seemed to pick up on this quickly. “Of course,” he said easily. Manoeuvring so Jongdae could get closer to Jongin._

_Jongdae crouched down to his younger brother. “Hey,” he whispered. “Jonginnie…”_

_There was a frantic, panicked look in Jongin’s eyes. He was taking sharp, shallow breaths, unable to get coherent words out. Jongdae was getting very worried on where it seemed to be heading. Perhaps if he coaxed him into sleeping… perhaps it would stop whatever was happening from happening._

_"Shh," Jongdae cooed. "I’m here, okay? You’re safe. I won’t let anything get you." He moved even closer, avoiding the patch of vomit, now wrapping his arms around the younger, holding him close. "Just try to relax."_

_In all honesty he was panicking himself, and wasn’t even sure if he was doing a good job at the comforting thing, merely hoping so. It seemed to be working somewhat, as Jongin clung to material of Jongdae’s clothing. Jongdae rubbed his back comfortingly. He kept on repeating a comforting, ‘ssh’, ‘it’s okay’ and ‘I’m here’._

_He then manoeuvred them over to the patch they’d usually sleep at, laying the younger down. He found the closest blanket like material—a piece of long clothing, and placed it atop of him. He stayed by Jongin’s side until the younger dozed off._

_Once he was sure the younger was asleep, peacefully, Jongdae made his way back over to where Luhan was standing._

_"Oh," the elder said, smiling. "You’re back."_

_"It’s my turn to try, right?"_

_Luhan smiled. “If you’d like. Of course.”_

"And how that turned out," Present Jongdae muttered, cringing. "It was just as bad as Jongin’s reaction."

He then scoffed, seeming to be annoyed with himself. “And even though I was certain it couldn’t have been because of anything else, I’m an even bigger fool for having to make sure, aren’t I?” He twiddled with the object in his pocket, the texture of cool metal meeting with the skin of his fingers. He despised the pocketwatch with every fibre of his being, but knew he’d never part with it, willingly. Not until he found Them. Not until he got his revenge.

His thirst for revenge becoming even more heightened at this point. If there was one person on this world he wouldn’t let get harmed, that was Jongin.

_His hands were still shaking by the time he’d made his way back, but he was trying his hardest not to make it obvious. The urge to vomit had definitely been there, but he found a way to push it back. To put it off. Maybe it was because people were around, maybe it was because he was extremely worried about Jongin, maybe it was a mixture of both._

_"Is he alright?" Yixing asked, coming into vicinity._

_Jongdae nodded, then slightly winced. “Kind of. Better than earlier, by any shot.”_

_Yixing let out a sigh of relief. “Thank god. Was it the fish? The smell? The look of it?”_

_"Probably," Jongdae said a little evasively. He then peered at Yixing’s features. "You’d never willingly hurt us, would you?"_

_"Of course not," Yixing said earnestly. "I don’t stab people in the back. I don’t trust a lot of people, nor befriend them, but once I do, my loyalty is indisputable. Please believe that."_

_"Luhan too, right? I mean you know him better than Jongin and I at this point, so…"_

_Yixing nodded_   _confidently. “I can understand if you’re a little worried, especially as you don’t know him as well as I do, but that boy’s nothing if not trustworthy. I promise. Neither of us would ever willingly harm you. Please believe that.”_

_Jongdae’s hands were still shaky, but he nodded. “Then can I trust you to look after Jongin while I’m away?”_

_Yixing was taken by surprise. “Where are you going?”_

_"Just to the river, I have to run this really small errand. I won’t be long. But I don’t think I can put it off any longer. Please keep watch over Jongin and look after him."_

_"I won’t let you down, I promise."_

"I guess that’s when he fully proved his loyalty?"

_Once he’d checked up on Jongin, and checked for certain that Yixing was keeping up with his word, he nodded. “Where’s Luhan?”_

_Yixing pointed towards a curled up bundle with a blanket placed atop. “Sleeping,” he said, making sure to hush his voice._

_Jongdae nodded. “Look after them, okay?”_

_"Don’t worry," Yixing promised. "I will. Make sure you come back soon, alright?"_

_Jongdae nodded, and then went on his way. It was entirely dark, but it was getting lighter, so he knew he’d be able to carry it out what he intended. Once he’d made his way to the river, he shuffled around in his pocket for the pocketwatch._

_After finding it, he took it out, and glanced at the dried sheen of substance it was coated in. “I have a feeling I’m going to regret this,” he said. “But it’s the only way to know for certain, right?” With that, he held it by its chain and slowly inched it into the water._

Present Jongdae cringed.

_The light stung his eyes, something cool was being compressed against his forehead. His body ached when he tried to move it, limbs stinging. “W-wha?”_

_"You’re finally awake," a worried voice noted, relief present in their tone._

_Jongdae pushed himself up into a sitting position, taking in his surroundings. He was back at the camp. “Y-Yixing?”_

_"How are you feeling?"_

_"Uh," Jongdae dragged out, confusion seeping through him. "What happened?"_

_"What happened?" The elder repeated incredulously, edging closer. "You said you wouldn’t be long! So I waited, and I was tired as hell but I promised myself I wouldn’t sleep until you came back. But you didn’t come back. Not for a hell of a long time. So I made my way over to the river where you said you’d be, only to find you unconscious on the ground? What the hell, Jongdae?!"_

_Jongdae winced._

_Yixing noticed, and altered his tone. “I’m sorry,” he said. “Was it the fish? Did you both eat the fish?” He blinked, a worried expression coming onto his features. “Maybe it was food poisoning? I mean, Jongin got sick and looked like was going to faint, so I don’t know how sure I can be of food poisoning, but the vomiting and the confusion… maybe. I don’t know if you were sick but I’ll presume so in this case. You definitely fainted. And were confused and disorientated too. Did you have to go all the way out there to do it though? Anything could’ve happened to you, Jongdae!”_

_"I," Jongdae started. "It’s not your fault. It wasn’t the fish, or well, uhh. It’s hard to explain. I’m sure it wasn’t food poisoning though, we didn’t eat the fish. "_

_Yixing nodded. “Right. Well, I can see that you don’t want to talk about it right now and that’s okay, but please let me in on whatever it is eventually, okay? Because whatever it was… it clearly affects the both of you to the same degree. And if it’s a recurring thing, I’ll need to know what to do to help you both. Because neither of you are getting harmed on my watch.”_

_Jongdae jumped onto his feet, checking his pockets. They were empty. He glanced up at Yixing frantically._

_"Ah," Yixing said, holding up the object of desire. "You’re looking for this, huh?"_

_Jongdae nodded, as Yixing passed the now cleaned pocketwatch over to him. Silver and gleaming._

_"I wasn’t sure if it was yours or not, so I was weary to take it along. But I did, just in case."_

_"Thank you," Jongdae said gratefully._

Present Jongdae cast a surreptitious glance at the sleeping Yixing, feeling both pride and gratitude swell in his heart. He knew he had a friend for life with him, that Yixing would never give up on him, or willingly put him in a position of danger. That Yixing would rather give up on himself first than on Jongdae.

Jongdae was certain Luhan would be the same with Jongin in their current situation, wherever it was they were. For the first time, he felt slightly eased at the fact that they went missing together. Two in this case really was better than one.

He was certain.

_"Is this the pocketwatch?" Jongin had asked, one misty morning. He held it in his palm, inspecting the intricate engravings. "Is there anything on it that gives away their identities?"_

_Jongdae shook his head. “I’ve checked every part of it more times than I can count. There's nothing identifiable on it.”_

_Jongin nodded. “Perhaps they left something else in our old house, even if by accident. I know we didn’t stay long enough after it happened to check.”_

_"I guess we’ll never know," Jongdae said, sighing._

"Wait a minute," Present Jongdae said, almost as if a light bulb had gone off in front of his head. "Why didn’t I think of this before? It could’ve covered so many missing pieces."

He sighed. “It’s probably too late now. It’s been how many years, eight or nine? So much must’ve changed. Aish.”

"But," he then said, chuckling a little. "Maybe not. Maybe it’s still the way it was. With the state it was in when we left, all the—" He cringed. "It’s unlikely someone would’ve moved in straight away, isn’t it? And the amount of effort and time it would’ve taken to clean the remnants away, that’d be enough to scare anyone off. If the, well, the dead bodies weren’t enough to do the trick in the first place."

He cast another surreptitious glance at Yixing, noting that he was still asleep. He was. “Not only that,” Jongdae continued. “We never really had time to take anything we could’ve remembered our parents by. I don’t know about Jongin, but I always wanted something tangible to remember them by. Something more than just memories.”

Deciding it wouldn’t harm anyone too much, especially if he went alone and undetected, Jongdae rose to his feet. Paying a visit to his old house, so long as no one dangerous was around would be fine, would it not? Especially if he had reasons why.

One, to look for more evidence of identity. Two, keepsakes to remember their parents by. Even in the case that someone dangerous  _was_  around, he was certain he’d be able to find some way to get the information out of them. Maybe also some revenge, whilst he was at it.

Sneaking out of the camp was easy enough, he did pay extra attention to his footing and making sure that he didn’t draw any attention to himself, or make too loud a sound. Yixing really did need as much rest as physically possible, and after everything Yixing had done for him, the amount of stress he’d already been through in the past few days, Jongdae wasn’t going to add to that. He promised himself he’d be back before Yixing woke up, so the elder wouldn’t have to worry.

Besides, it was a task he knew he’d have to carry out individually.   
  
And if danger arose, would he ever forgive himself for putting an injured Yixing in that kind of situation?

Of course not.

Trekking through the Foreseen Forest was still as creepy as ever, especially alone, but the less Jongdae thought about it, the easier it was to get on with it. He stuck to a straight path, never stepping out of the barriers he’d made in his mind as he walked forward. He didn’t look to his left or his right, keeping a narrow focus on moving forwards. At a quick pace.

Soon enough, he made it. Light was approaching and he was making his way to the pathway that led up to the village. He just hoped no one noticed him coming out of the forest. That nobody would be able to tell that he was of the type the villagers referred to as “Rogues”. The nickname still peeved him, in all honesty.

Rogues, by village definition, weren’t intelligent. Merely savage, reckless beings who wreaked havoc just because they could.

Jongdae was a highly trained and highly intelligent being, and though the Rogue title was good for reputation, it also painted him as a brainless savage who would eventually resort to cannibalism if he hadn’t already.

He wasn’t okay with that. And clearly, it was so very far from the truth.

But no one had ever stepped out of their comfort zone and challenged this notion, and Jongdae wasn’t going to make it a habit of meeting with village inhabitants and challenging this notion himself, so he just let it be.

The rumors and blatant lies would have to thrive.

He just wished they were less ridiculous.

Thankfully, it seemed no one noticed. He easily slipped onto the dust path that lead past the farm he’d stolen many an animal from before and used as his dinner, and into the heart of the village. A place he had once lived, but had very hazy memories and recollections of. He tried not to dwell on his surroundings too much, tried not to make it obvious he didn’t go there often.

He kept his eyes up, letting them drink in what was around him, but allowed no surprise or awe to show. His facial expression and body language indicated towards indifference on the outside, but on the inside, he was entirely taken aback.

Both by the civilization and how… human everything looked.  
  
How human everyone was.

There were the sounds of children playing, sounds of birds chirping. Stalls thriving, conversations at every corner.

It felt safe, secure. A far stretch of what he was used to. He was surprised at the slight longing that bubbled within him, and then felt angry at himself.

He knew he could never live here again, not for as long as he was alive. He had a bounty on his head, his family name carried with it so many dangers. His entire existence did.

He’d never get normality. Not for as long as he would be alive. He wasn’t destined for it. Of things he was sure of, that was it.

He shrugged it off as a person simply wishing for the one thing they could never have and was done with it. Moving on towards his objective. Hoping he’d find the correct house. If it even existed any more.

Once he was standing on the outside of the stalls, he took a look at the houses that were lined up at this specific area of the village. With how hazy his memory had gotten, and how much the house could’ve changed, he knew success was literally the luck of the draw in this case.

Deciding he had nothing left to lose, he made his way over to a small cottage like building. It had a thatched roof and creaky looking door. There was a small fence around the front, something he recalled from his previous house.

Nodding as if to assure himself, he made his way up the pathway and stopped outside the front door. “Do I knock? Or simply find a way in?”

He shrugged. “I guess knocking is more cultured. More socially accepted. I can’t give my identity away, so knocking it is.”

After he’d knocked, he took a step back and waited. He soon heard scurrying from the other side of the door. The sound of a lock twisting. Then a door opening, revealing a boy who was probably a little bit taller than he was.

He had dark black hair, swept over his eyes. His eyes were dark brown, appearing a little calculating. Jongdae was just about to assume that he didn’t appear like someone who’d have an association with Them _,_ but soon realized that even now, he still had no physical indicators of what they’d look like in person to go by, so stopped that thought instantaneously.

They could’ve been anyone. Could’ve appeared in the form of anyone. Jongdae didn’t know what to look out for, minus a measly pocketwatch that They left after they’d carried out their doings. When it was too late to catch a glimpse of them.

He stood tall, he didn’t make a move to speak.

The boy who’d answered the door seemed to snap to attention. “Ah,” he said, nodding. Clearly trying to put his most professional front on. “Business enquiries, right? Did I get the job?”

Jongdae blinked, already feeling entirely out of place. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. The house appeared to be coated in a false sense of security, a homeliness he’d never experienced, even in the times he did inhabit a house. It felt unnatural to him, suffocating. He wanted to turn around walk fifty miles away and never return.

This wasn’t his village, this wasn’t his life. He had no right to be there, he’d never fit in. Even then, the odd puzzle piece. His entire family. This wasn’t theirs.

It was dawning on him that the house wasn’t either. But he had to make sure.

The boy seemed to note that he didn’t know what to say, but clearly took it in a different way. “Ah,” he said, once again. “My apologies, you must see many of us. I presume it’s hard keeping track of all the names and faces. I’m Changjo, perhaps it rings a bell?”

Jongdae noted that Changjo had good posture. Just like his brother, just like Luhan. It wasn’t something he personally cared much about, Yixing too, probably. Perhaps it linked into the reason why Jongin and Luhan were the taller two of the group. Perhaps it didn’t, Jongdae wasn’t entirely sure. Still not able to formulate the words, Jongdae stood still. Quiet. Unmoving. A numbness tremoring through his being.

"Yah Choi Jonghyun," A booming voice then called out from somewhere in the back. "Who’s at the door? You meddling kid, I told you to let me answer that damn thing!"

Changjo—or ‘Choi Jonghyun’—smiled apologetically. Then laughed a little awkwardly. “I’m sorry,” he said. “It’s my mother.”

He then heard the aforementioned someone’s footsteps, but they still weren’t in sight. “Is it that Lee Byunghun boy again? What have I told you about that boy, Jonghyun?!”

Changjo jumped at the loudness of her voice. “It’s not Byunghun, mother. He’s with us right now, if you remember? In the exact same room as you, too.” Changjo let out a chuckle at this, as if it was a daily occurrence. As if it was endearing. Jongdae felt bitterness bubble within him.

He knew he had no right—that it was unjustified—but he couldn’t help it. People with living mothers, people who could joke around with said living mothers. People who didn’t realize their time with their mothers was limited. He’d definitely encountered the type of person who celebrated their birthday with ignorance of their impeding demise, Jongin was right. They did exist, and he—the four of them—they could never be that kind of person. Not ever.

As if it was all still a joke to Changjo, he turned to the mother, who still wasn’t in view. “What was it you told me about Byunghun again, mother?”

 _Mother._  A word he’d once used himself to reference a living, breathing being. A word that now only came up when aforementioned someone was spoke of in past tense. Someone he’d never see again.

Never get to see smile, or hear laugh.  _Mother_ , someone he’d experience nine years of life with, for Jongdae.

For Changjo, someone he’d experienced sixteen—or so—years with. Someone he’d continue to experience years of life with. Someone who’d never get snatched away from him unrighteously. Someone whose life he was so certain of, he could even joke around with them.

Argue with.

Someone he must’ve been certain that if he stormed out of the door and proclaimed to never come back, would still be loved. Still accepted with open arms if he changed his mind. Realized his mistake.

For some reason, it wasn’t envy that took over Jongdae in that moment, just a cold, icy, numbness.

"That," Changjo’s mother said, now coming into view. She was a small woman with greying hair, and a very loud voice. "Behind your back, he’d snatch your wife from you and take her for himself!"

A boy smaller than both Changjo and himself, someone Jongdae could only presume was Byunghun, came into view. “What?” He rasped, mouth falling open. Incredulous expression morphing onto his features. “Seriously?  _Me?”_

Changjo’s mother seemed only just realize his presence. “Oh,” she said, loudly. “It’s you. Byunghun.”

"Do I really look the type to steal someone’s wife?" He frowned. "Do you really think that low of me?"

The woman let out a booming laugh. “I was merely joking, my boy.”

Byunghun looked dubious, but nodded nonetheless. “Really?” He then asked, just to make sure. 

"You’re here that often you’re practically one of my own now, so of course you have morals, child! Come here, let’s greet our guest!" She turned towards Jongdae, taking him in. "Do you speak, child?!"

Jongdae seemed to snap out of his trance-like state. “Uhh…” He began.

"Oh, I get it," the woman said, nodding. "You’re from the Palace, aren’t you?"

Jongdae spluttered, entirely taken aback. “W-what?”

"My boy here," she continued, pride twinkling in her eye. "He’s got a thing for her, you know. Always has. Ever since that day she noticed us and tittered over and introduced herself to us, wind swaying her lovely long hair. She asked those accompanying her to buy some of our produce."

Jongdae quirked an eyebrow, entirely lost. What on earth was she talking about? Who, too?

As if she could read his mind, she continued, “The youngest of the Princesses, my boy has the biggest crush on her. In fact, I dare say, in the times she’s visited us, she’s also appeared to hold quite a torch for my boy also, perhaps she likes him too.”

"Yah," Changjo hissed, cheeks tinting. "That’s not true. Shut up."

Changjo’s mother tsked. “It’s not my fault you want to be Chan Hee, dear. Or at least be in his position, you love sick fool.”

"Chunji,” Changjo emphasized. “He refers to himself as Chunji now, not Chan Hee.”

"Also," Byunghun piped up, adding, "She doesn’t discriminate about background, either, it’s really refreshing. Chunji’s from the exact same background as us, but it’s a wide known fact that they’re best friends. Of course, he’s been trained in Royal etiquette and so forth since moving to the Palace quarters, but she’s also approached us time and time again and never looked down her nose at us. She’s a really lovely person."

Jongdae was just about to say that he had no idea who it was they were talking about, that he had no idea how he could be mistaken as a Royal, he was anything but. He then kept a curt front on and nodded. “I’m afraid I’m not here for Palace matters. I just have a query.”

"Do tell," the woman said.

"May I just ask how long you’ve been living here, ma’am?" He was very thankful for Luhan at this moment, realizing he wouldn’t have known how else to address her, had it not been for the lesson Luhan had given them about interacting with village-folk, elder than themselves.

"My entire life," the woman replied instantly, proudly.

Jongdae didn’t have to dig deep, it was an obvious truth. He knew what to look for with lies, she showcased none of the tell-tale signs.

"Of course. Thank you. Have a good day and goodbye."

They returned their goodbyes, smiling at him. Once the door was closed, Jongdae turned around and made his way out of their garden. Hoping the second attempt would be a lot more successful.

Somewhere along the lines he’d stopped paying attention and just allowed his feet to carry him forward. He eventually ended up outside a very frail and battered looking building. He felt no conviction standing in front of it, but decided to go for it.

Just to make sure.

It was clear even from the outside that it was empty, no residents to be found anywhere. He stumbled forward, making his way to the front door. The front door was covered in a thick coat of dust. It creaked loudly when he twisted the handle, sounding as if it was in its last standing. Nonetheless, Jongdae moved further inside.

The inside was even worse than the outside, but there was nothing to indicate its once belonging to him. Something within him told him he’d be very certain of whether it was the house he was looking for once inside. Just like the last house he visited, this house just seemed like any other. Just more decayed.

Realizing this wasn’t the house he was looking for, he quickly exited. He was close to giving up, which surprised him. Jongdae had always been a person who tried every possible option before calling it quits. One who recognized trial and error, realized it was an integral part of life. That before one is to succeed, it’s likely they’re going to fail at least once.

But this time, he didn’t feel any conviction, no strong pull. Had he come here on a whim? Was it the same bout of recklessness Yixing experienced with the bear? Perhaps it was the thrill of knowing it could be very dangerous. That he could very well lose his life.

Perhaps Jongin had been right about that too, something he’d previously never even consider the prospect of. Perhaps they really didn’t care whether they lived or died any longer.

Jongdae sighed, trying to push the thought back. How could he think that, even in his darkest moments? His little brother had disappeared and the last thing he needed was his elder brother dying on him.

He glanced up after having his head down for some time. Realizing he’d stumbled upon a house. It wasn’t so far from the other house, but a lot more polished looking. Deciding it could be third time lucky, he edged closer…

Once he’d tried the door, which surprisingly wasn’t locked, Jongdae’s eyebrows furrowed. Perhaps it wasn’t occupied? But if so, why did it look so polished? Was that merely just a trick of the eye, because of the stark contrast in comparison to the decayed building beside it?

As he edged deeper, Jongdae felt a weird sense of dread wash over him. An eerily weird sense of dread. He glanced around the hallway and came to a halt. Taking a deep breath, he tried to shake this weird bout of nausea away.

He edged further, making his way into the living room, instantly regretting it when he did. His hands began to shake and a tremor ran through his spine.

"Oh no," he whispered. "No, no, no."

Even if the interior was different, there was no mistaking it… this was his old house. The more he looked around, the more obvious it became. The more it seemed the events of that night came back to him.

The closer he got, the more real it began to feel. He exhaled a shaky breath, hands still shaking. He squeezed his eyes closed, berating himself for entering. Once he opened them, he took a glance at the floor of the spot where he stood.

It felt like ice water had been splashed upon him at the realization that he was standing in the exact spot where his parents had once laid.

Hands entwined, throats slit. Wrists slit. Vertical slicing down their forearms. Down their legs. Down their chests. Even vertical slices down their lips.

Mimicked exactly, precisely done. The killer knew exactly what they were doing.

It was premeditated. Planned.

Nothing was more paralysing than the vivid image of the seemingly endless pool of blood that splayed and coated almost the entirety of the room that day. The sight the brothers—who had been covered by a blanket at the time, Jongdae’s doing—had woken up to after fainting at the sound of their parents’ screams. Tortured wails, cries. The chilling laughter that echoed from the killer—or killers’—mouths, every time their parents made a sound. The repeated sound of a knife slicing and stabbing through flesh, the more they pleaded for it to stop.

It didn’t seem like it was ever going to end.

But when it did, the first thing Jongdae felt after the confusion and paralysis had passed, was fear. Acknowledgement of the warning.

That they weren’t safe.

That they’d be next in line.

Jongdae took a deep, shaky breath. His hands were trembling, bottom lip too. The room seemed to be spinning, his head reeling. Coming here was a mistake, he knew it then, he knew it now. But he had to… he had to what? He couldn’t even remember his reasons for being here any longer.

It was in that minute, almost as if his senses went into hyper drive. He heard footsteps, echoing. Getting closer. His vision was hazy, the room spinning. Nothing was making sense, but if it was Them _,_  he wasn’t letting them go with their lives. Not after what they'd done. He’d find out where they’d stashed his brother—taking no answer other than alive—and he’d bask in their cries the same way they had with his parents. Usually he’d feel some remorse, think through his options, but not this time. They started the war, he’d finish it.

A life for a life, an eye for an eye. A tooth for a tooth.

"Yah," the voice in question said, clear confusion coating their tone. "Who are—" Before they could even finish, Jongdae sprinted across the room, precise and effective, wasting no time. He tackled the person straight to the floor, promising it’d be different this time around.

Insisting it.

A muffled groan sounded from the recipient.

Jongdae wasted no time in pinning them down into a secure hold, which he found—surprisingly—was relatively easy. In his mind, this would’ve always been the most difficult part. Glancing at the object in question, he noted that they were very lean. And very young looking. With big, sparkling brown eyes. His blood boiled.

"You filthy bastard." His eyes were dark, menacing. "What the fuck were you hyped up on? You’re seriously telling me you carried this out as a kid?!"

The boy—he was a boy, not a man, a _boy_ —with sparkling eyes blinked. “Wha—?”

"Don’t play dumb with me you piece of shit, I’ll tear you limb from limb. And then once I’m done, I’ll pin the remnants of your body to wall. And laugh. Just like you did."

The boy’s expression went from confusion, to deeper confusion, to perplexity. From perplexity, to oddly humored. A slight chuckle left the boy’s lips.

Which did nothing to ease Jongdae’s rage. “You goddamn son of a bitch,” he hissed, wasting no time in throwing his fist forward and connecting it to the boy’s jaw. He was angry, unstable, but still precise. It was what he’d been trained to be. “If I had’ve let myself go then, it would’ve been shattered. Count yourself lucky for now, boy, and start cooperating. Or I’ll kill you.”

The boy raised an eyebrow. A challenging eyebrow. The type Jongdae would throw at one of his own enemies.  ”You don’t know when to quit, do you?”

"Unfortunately, no," the boy said, sounding completely at ease. "It’s not every day a person comes across a person who appears to be even more unpredictable than they, themselves, are. I’m quite taken aback. Congratulations."

Jongdae snarled. “Tell me where he is, or I swear to God—”

"It’s unwise to swear upon a being whose existence you can’t prove—"

Jongdae twisted the boy’s wrist, making him cry out. “I don’t give a shit if God exists or not. Now tell me where he is.”

"I would, if I knew who you were referencing…" The boy’s nose crinkled. "Unfortunately, I don’t."

"I don’t like liars." Rather than raise his voice, Jongdae’s tone had gotten softer. Eerie. "Nor thieves."

"Thieves, in reference to me? What?"

"Killing them wasn’t enough for you, huh? You had to steal the house, too? Jesus fucking Christ."

This time the boy stay quiet, eyebrows furrowing.

"But that’s not the worst of your thievery, is it?" Jongdae shook his head in disbelief. "That lies more in what you stole from their dead bodies, I’d say. I bet you thought no one would notice the missing fingernails. I hope you’re not wearing them right now. It’s beyond sickening."

The boy tried to cast a glance at his nails. “Uh,” he said, trying to shrug. “As far as I’m aware, these are mine.”

"I won’t even ask what you did with their fingernails then." He glared down at the boy. "It’s fucking vile, you know? Stealing the house of the people you murdered in cold blood."

"Uhh," the boy dragged out, confusion returning. "I really have no idea what you’re talking about. This is my house. I share it with my friend. We’ve been here for years. It was completely empty to the bone when we got here."

Jongdae came to a halt.  ”You’re lying,” he said, but there was a hesitation. “You have to be lying.” His breathing came out in shallow pants. “I swear to God—”

It was in that moment that more shuffling was heard. The boy in the hold seemed to panic, eyes widening. Jongdae picked up on it and smirked.

"Ah," he said, chillingly. "Is that the friend you were speaking of? My, my, my. I might have to do a little investigating myself, it seems. Guess we were right about it being more than one person."

The boy’s eyes seemed to coat in fury this time. “I don’t fucking think so,” he hissed. “I’ll kill you before you even get chance.”

Jongdae chuckled, it was sarcastic. “I’m a professional, kid. You don’t stand a chance.”

"Maybe so," the boy said. "But I’ll go down fighting in this case. You’re not touching her."

"Her?" Jongdae repeated, raising a sardonic eyebrow. "How cute. Sacrificing yourself for a girl? You must think you’re some kind of hero."

"Not a hero," the boy hissed. "Just a pissed off best friend who is generally unpredictable to begin with, but when his best friend is harmed, highly fucking unstable."

"You sound like me." Jongdae laughed. "If you replaced best friend with brother."

"But then again," the boy said, trying to appear not nervous. He wasn’t nervous about himself however. "My friend isn’t home. And," the boy dragged it out. "Even if she were, do you think I’d let her near you? Especially when you threatened to kill me? There’s not a chance in heaven, or hell."

"Don’t make your threats and promises in the name of cosmological places you can’t prove existence of." He laughed. "They might fall flat."

The boy’s eyes narrowed.

"That and you’re a clear liar."

"How?" The boy challenged, a fire in his eyes.

"I distinctly heard her, kid. And even if it was true, it puts you in an even more dangerous position. In that, why would you hide her? Maybe because you knew I was coming?" He tsked. "I must say, you’re all very good at predicting things. Must be a part the hyped up ability you’re in possession of, no?"

"I have no idea what you’re talking about."

"What did I say about liars?"

"I’m not a lia—"

It was in that moment they heard shuffling. The boy squeezed his eyes closed, looking like he wanted to sink into the ground. Jongdae’s head snapped towards the doorway where a tall girl stood. A tall, blonde girl. Who dropped the plate she was holding in an instance and gasped. It shattered the minute it touched the ground.  
_"Taemin?"_  She rasped, instantly making her way over.

Maybe it was because he was momentarily distracted, but Taemin found some way to manoeuvre out of Jongdae’s hold. Perhaps it was because of all the years he’d been dancing, he didn’t know. Just that the minute he did, he darted towards Anna and hid her from view.

"Hide," he hissed. "Don’t come back out until I swear it’s safe, alright?"

"Taemin," she whispered, looking both confused and frightened. Also a little defiant. "What’s going on?"

"I have no fucking clue," he said honestly. "But you don’t have to get involved. I’ll get him out of here, don’t worry."

She stared at him for several moments.

"Anna, I promise," he said earnestly. "I won’t let him hurt you."

"What if he hurts you?"

"Even if he does, I’d rather it was me than you, okay?"

Anna looked reluctant, but eventually nodded. “Be safe, okay?”

Taemin nodded, watching as she hid away. He then turned his attention back to Jongdae—or the presumably elder boy as he knew him—perhaps a raving lunatic, even.

"Anna?" Jongdae asked, having heard the name mentioned a few moments ago.

Taemin scoffed. “Aish,” he muttered, crinkling his nose. “What a terrible pronunciation.”

Jongdae’s eyes zeroed in on Taemin. “She’s not from around here, is she?”

"Neither are you," the dark haired boy retorted instantly.

Jongdae froze, but tried not to make the move obvious. Somehow the dark haired boy picked up on it still.

"Wow," Taemin said, incredulous. "So it is true? Is this really happening?"

"Is what really happening?" Play it cool, his mind told him. He could very well be one of Them, it continued. But Jongdae was starting to doubt this. He was clearly very young, would it have even been possible? Perhaps an interrogation was due.

"I have a Rogue in my living room. What are the odds. I heard you eat people. I mean I’ve definitely thought of many ways in which I could die, who hasn’t, but I never thought I’d be eaten alive. Aish. Such a short life as well. It’s quite sad, no?"

"What year did you move here?"

"Uhh," Taemin seemed to be racking his brain. "1809? 1808? Sometime between those two years, I’m pretty sure."

"How old were you in 1801?"

"Eight."

"You’re a year older than my brother," he noted. "But you could’ve grown up like us. Where and who were you living with?"

"Definitely not this house," he said, Jongdae detected no lie. "And with my, uh, parents." His nose crinkled at this, but he seemed to brighten up a tad at the next part. "And my older brother."

"Your older brother? Who?"

"You probably won’t know him. Lee Taesun. I didn’t know Anna at eight years old if that’s what you’re asking. Plus she would’ve been four. And would’ve been back in her homeland, actually. With her family. Whatever it was that happened, I can safely assure you, it wasn’t us. And even if you try and attack me again, my answer will still be the same."

"I came here for a reason," Jongdae said, now sounding subdued. "Somehow I don’t feel as if it matters any more. That this entire thing was redundant. If I find out you’re lying, watch your back. If not, look after your best friend. You might think she’ll always be around, but people—creatures—they find ways of taking those you hold dearest away from you and tormenting you in ways only you’d and the ones you’d hold dearest would understand."

Taemin nodded, watching as Jongdae turned around and started making his way to the door. He then paused, calling out, “You’re not even going to apologize?”

Jongdae scoffed. “No.”

"Also," Taemin called out, once Jongdae’s hand was twisting the handle. "You guys… you’re not _actually_ cannibals, are you?"

Jongdae rolled his eyes. “I’m not, we’re not. I’m not even a Rogue, in all honesty. But that’s a tale for another time. It can safely be presumed Rogues have ceased to exist, or hide extremely well. Myself and those with me, we’ve never encountered one. Not once.” Not waiting for a reply, he pulled open the door and trudged outside, really wishing he hadn’t come at all.

 

The way back to camp was distressing and he never thought he’d think that, nor believe the rumors about the Foreseen Forest. But with every step he took, he found himself both enticed and frightened. 

"What the hell?"

He swore he could even hear it whispering to him. He shivered. “This place is seriously messed up.” The whispers grew harsher the further he walked, but they were comforting in a way. As if they were coaxing him, inviting negative thoughts, encouraging him to do something irreversible. He heard things like:  _'Your brother's dead already, Jongdae. It's your fault. Not only did you get mommy and daddy killed, you got your innocent baby brother killed too. Why not do the world a favor, and end yourself?'_ , and,  _'No one would miss you if you did, Jongdae. They were just pretending to like you this entire time, anyway. Who could enjoy the presence of a murderer? Nobody sane, at least.'_

"Shut up," he hissed. "Whatever the fuck this is, it’s not real. You won’t fool me."

He swore he heard a bout of mocking laughter.

After what felt like forever, Jongdae made it out of the forest. He sprinted across the bridge, wanting to be as far away from the Foreseen Forest as possible. He slowed his pace down somewhat, but was still jogging towards the camp.

Once there, he dropped to the ground, taking a deep breath.   
  
He waited some minutes, maybe some hours—he’d lost track of time—for Yixing to wake up. Yixing soon did, and he didn’t seem suspicious in the slightest. Jongdae was almost thankful he was injured at this point, because had he not been, he would’ve definitely woken up at some point and noticed the missing Jongdae.

"Jongdae?" He asked, squinting his eyes groggily. "How long have you been up?"

Jongdae put on a very composed, indifferent front. “A little while,” he said breezily. Before Yixing could continue, and probably figure out what had gone on, Jongdae stood to his feet. “Let’s go.”

Yixing tilted his head in confusion. “Huh?”

"We have to find Jongin and Luhan. Let’s go."

 

"Jongdae—!" Yixing called out, trying to get his arm out of Jongdae’s hold. It proved to be futile as the younger only pulled him further into the clearing and eventually back into their camp, not even stopping for a breath.

"Let go of me," Yixing hissed. "We’ve run around in circles for what feels hours now! We must’ve checked every inch of this forest, and even the narrower forest over there. Hell, you even suggested spending the night in the Foreseen Forest ‘just to check’ and you’re still not done?!" Yixing let out a prolonged sigh. "He’s not here. Neither of them are. And you still haven’t explained what’s going on like you said you would hours ago!"

Jongdae’s eyes were dark, stealthily avoiding Yixing’s last few sentences. “Shouldn’t you be used to the pain by now?” He then scoffed. “The bear attack was like a day or two ago, wasn’t it? Why are you still moping around as if you’re so weak, and in so much pain? In the past when you got injured, I swear you jumped right back into things as if the injury hadn’t even taken place… but this time? I just don’t get it.”

Yixing winced. “It’s a long story. I don’t want to make this about me.” He perched against a tree stump. “The point is, Jongin isn’t here.”  
  
"Is it because Luhan’s not here to see you? So you don’t have to keep up the brave face?"

"No," Yixing said, sighing. "Like I said, it’s a long story. But it doesn’t matter, what matters is the fact that both Jongin and Luhan aren’t here and you’ve got this pocketwatch held in your fist. You think I’m not noticing but you keep staring at it as if you’re in a daze. There’s this haunted look in your eyes and you said you’d explain but then you forced us to run around in circles searching for Luhan and Jongin but just like I predicted they weren’t there and now we’re here and I know you’re trying to make us get up and search again but no… they’re not here, Jongdae. They’re not."

Jongdae purposely blanked out everything Yixing was saying. “I’m sure we’ve got some medicine left. If you’re still in pain, I could go get it for you if you’d like?”

"Jongdae—"

"Pain is never good, you’re right. Especially for a life like ours, right? I don’t know how long it takes for broken arms to heal but I know it’s at least a good few months, no?"

"Even longer in my case," Yixing muttered glumly. "But Jongdae—"

"Maybe it’d be wise for me to replace your bandages?"

Yixing’s eyes almost bugged out of their sockets. “What?” He rasped. "Jongdae, no! You…"

"I have to get over the fear of blood some time myself, right? Plus your wounds are stitched up so that lessens the probability of them bleeding and the blood that was there was either wiped away by Luhan or has dried now, right?"

"The bandages will be covered in blood," Yixing said dryly. "Don’t tell me you’re not aware of that."

"Of course I’m aware, I just…" Jongdae let the words hang in the air and stopped short, realizing he didn’t even know why he was suggesting what he’d just suggested.

"So you’re trying to emulate Jongin now?" Yixing’s expression was unreadable, but definitely not amused.

Jongdae glanced at his palms. “No,” he said finally. “I just… we just need to distract ourselves for a while before we go out and search for Jongin and Luhan again, okay? We could replace your bandages so you’re not uncomfortable. Then we’ll go back and find Jongin and Luhan and tell them this extended game of hide and seek stopped being funny a long time ago and I’ll apologize and things will go back to how they were before the bear attack and we’ll catch ourselves some more fish and I’ll probably gladly eat it even if I hate the taste of fish because you know what? They’ll be there, safe, happy and alive. And we’ll deal with it because we’d be the goddamn fools to ruin the closest thing that any of us have left to a family, alright? Let me, Yixing. Let me replace your bandages and let’s go. Let’s find Jongin and Luhan.”

"The bandages are just cloth though, Jongdae. I could care less about replacing them at this moment in time, regardless of what it does to me. They’re not proper bandages to begin with, what’s the point? I’m not covering your clothes in blood, especially not if you’re going to be wearing them eventually." Yixing then blinked, glancing at Luhan and Jongin's neatly folded clothes. "But, if—" 

"Don’t you dare," Jongdae hissed. "Don’t even think about finishing that sentence." 

"Jongdae we have to accept the possibility that they—"

_"Shut up."_

"Jongdae…"

_"I said shut up."_

"Jongdae—"

Jongdae closed his eyes and exhaled sharply as he began to pace up and down. “He can’t be missing.”

"Look—"

"It was a hallucination, the magic forest planted it inside my head, Jongin’s here, he’s just playing an extended version of hide and seek, I pissed him off he obviously will want to piss me off back, right? That’s what it is. We’ll find him."

"Jongin’s not that petty, Jongdae. You of all people know that."

"He is a child at heart, though. Any child that’s forced to grow up too soon, who had their childhood stolen away from them they… they’re still children at heart." Jongdae stared off into the distance, his eyes seemingly void of emotion.

Yixing sighed. “Jongdae we already talked about this… he’s not.”

"And we also agreed that I know him better than you, didn’t we?" Jongdae’s tone of voice was harsh, quite biting. "But I won’t argue with you, I have to find him."

"Jongdae, sit down." Yixing looked extremely concerned. "Your hands are shaking."

Jongdae only laughed nervously. “Who cares? This isn’t about me, I’ll be fine.”

"What does the pocketwatch signify?"

"What pocketwatch? There is no pocketwatch." Jongdae laughed nervously. "Who said anything about a pocketwatch? No such pocketwatch. Why would there be a pocketwatch. Yixing, you sound crazy." Jongdae chuckled to himself before turning to Yixing, grinning like all was right with the world.

Yixing didn’t look amused at all, however. “The pocketwatch you’re holding in your left palm right now is the pocketwatch I’m talking about.”

"Why would Luhan go with him?" Jongdae then asked out of the blue as he began to pace up and down, not looking forwards or to his left or right, paying no attention to his immediate surroundings. "Do you really think Jongin told him a sob story, it seems most logical, right? Especially with the way Luhan is about things and the fact that he can’t say no… but what if Jongin forced Luhan to go with him? Maybe this is why we haven’t really played hide and seek before, huh? Because they’re so good at it."

Jongdae was still pacing left and right in a straight line, but eventually slightly stumbled and bumped into something. “What the—?” He hissed as he glanced down at what it was he’d bumped into. He then froze as he realized it wasn’t _something_ he’d bumped into rather  _someone._ He was then extremely taken aback and confused at the sight that lay before him. A person—whose face he couldn’t see as they were turned away from him, their back facing him—wrapped in a large, seemingly oversized cloak. Jongdae’s eyebrows seemed to be perpetually furrowed as he shuffled a little closer to what he presumed was the sleeping person.

It was in that instant as he was narrowing in on the person did he notice the fact that some of their hair had fallen out, and it wouldn’t have been something he’d usually care to notice in general circumstances, besides the fact that the person’s hair color in that light looked eerily similar to what Jongin’s did the last time Jongdae saw him. Before he could even question or think about what he was doing, his heart and mind had been made up, setting firmly onto the conclusion that the person wrapped up in the blanket on the ground that he’d just bumped into had to be Jongin. “Is that—” He chuckled in mild disbelief, a happy disbelief.  _"Jongin?"_

Yixing who had been gazing curiously at the cloaked sleeping person from a further distance than Jongdae, seemed much more weary. It was apparent to him—but evidently not to Jongdae— that whoever it was underneath the cloak was way too small to be Jongdae’s younger brother. In fact, the closer Yixing got, the less likely it seemed. Which surprised Yixing for starters, because in all the years their small group had been there, they’d had no contact with any other humans minus themselves—the four of them. But Yixing was near enough certain in the knowledge that the person wasn’t Jongin, unless Jongin had shrunk at least a foot in height overnight. Which as far as Yixing was aware, was impossible.

Jongdae on the other hand, had decided that it was Jongin, it had to be Jongin and anyone else wouldn’t do.

"Jongdae, wait! That’s not—" It was too late. Jongdae had already made his way over and pulled the sleeping person’s hood away from its face.

Jongdae’s entire facial expression changed as he came to the same realization Yixing had previously. “—Jongin.  _That’s not Jongin.”_

Yixing sighed a sigh of disappointment. “We must be so unobservant,” Yixing muttered as his shoulders deflated. “I wonder how long they’ve been here? I swear I can’t recall seeing them as we walked in…”

Jongdae’s eyes narrowed, “That,” he hissed. “Or this little maggot is one of _Them."_

Yixing’s eyebrows furrowed once more at yet another mention of Them. Having no idea who They were still, but getting entirely frustrated at the fact that Jongdae had been continually bringing them up but never expanding his knowledge on Them, never going into detail. Continually giving vague, eerie statements and leaving it at that.

"Jongdae," Yixing said quite quietly, the frustration lacing through to his words. "Will you please tell me who They are? And what it is that’s going on? What does the pocketwatch mean? What is happening?"

"Do you think I’m that much of an idiot that I’d tell you when this maggot on the floor could be one of Them?" Jongdae scoffed. "I hope not, anyway. Do we have any rope?"

Yixing’s eyes narrowed. “We’re not.”

"It’s that or I kill it now."

"We don’t even know who this person is! Stop getting ahead of yourself."

 _"Then let’s find out."_  


	9. At The Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSHUVcVjdgg

Her feet began to move at their own accord, soon enough she found herself facing the tinted glass panel of her balcony door. She pushed it open with one hard shove and sidestepped towards the left side of the balcony—avoiding a clutter of plant pots containing the richest array of flowers the whole village had on offer. The balcony floor was made of fine smelling pine wood, the fence surrounding it of small metal beams intricately twisted into one another creating the illusion of neatly woven – metal – roses. With a fence so kept, so orderly, no one would have second-guessed that the owners were of high importance.

She unhooked the hinge of her gate, placing one foot onto the top step of the ladder. What was barely a ladder, more of a staircase. Incisions of beams woven into one another, painted silver, gems encased on the outside edges, emitting a blinding light when the sun graced the Palace with its presence.

Hopping off the last step, she gave her custom-made ballroom shoes a once-over. Be it a puddle of mud or a tiny speck of dust, the young Princess would not have minded all that much, but her mother sure would have.

She approached the rabbit hutch, unlatched the hatch, and before she even had chance to breathe, a white ball of fluff sprinted out of the cage. A tiny nose, big dark eyes, and fluffy white fur—a black patch above his left eye, the Princess hadn’t been very original in naming her bunny and had opted for ‘Patch’.

Rabbits weren’t her first choice for a pet, at all. She’d always thought they were cute but didn’t exactly do much, other than exactly that, be cute.

She’d always been told:  _‘Dogs were too hard to obtain. Once obtained, much too messy.’_

And even:  _‘Cats were too free. Much too free for a Princess, at that.’_

And as rabbits caused much less trouble, found herself owning one soon after. It didn’t bark, didn’t need to be fed expensive meat, didn’t need to be taken on walks or let out for an hour in an acre of land. The Princess still believed that rabbits were boring upon first meeting of Patch.

But after looking after him for a few months Patch soon changed her perspectives. Rabbits weren’t all that boring to the Princess any more—he’d been the most interesting animal she’d ever encountered—and she knew she wouldn’t be giving Patch up any time soon.

 

For the first time in her life, Lilian felt as though she was becoming the wallflower in the corner. She began to observe the scene as though it was being painted entirely for her benefit, and purely hers alone. With a background that appeared to be dotted by a line of armor suited flower stems--some tall, others small; their armor brazen, strong and secure in their stature, eventually fading into a deep maroon color – though some may have considered it purple – Lilian knew too much about Royal shades to have to second-guess the matter.

The maroon further faded into an auburn brown shade, and the stems stood, still as toy statues atop their green posts. Their rival--though invisible in appearance, its attacks were infinitely difficult to miss--was progressively getting harsher. These stems had to defend themselves to a vast array of enemies, and Lilian would consider this invisible threat their fiercest. And would even go as far as to suggest that it was much worse than the blazing ball of fury that attacked in those warmer, brighter months.

Its force much heavier than the cold but gentle drops of water that made the sky seem as though it was crying in those cooler, darker months. The stems were immune to the falling of their brothers and sisters, knowing there was nothing they could do to help, and more so, knowing they'd be next. When they did fell, knew all to well that their once florescent shades would change into a varying array of red, orange and plum colors, before crumbling and decaying into nothing.   

The icy wave was getting harsher as each second passed. Lilian decided it had a much too sadistic goal, that there was no logical reason why it needed to so ruthlessly beat the stems into total submission. Just one sway in their composure would be enough for this mysterious enemy to claim its “rightful” victory. But Lilian had also noted that these stems this year were putting up quite the fight. So still held that small shard of hope that she'd win the bet she'd made with her best friend months prior, that the sunflower she'd planted would stay strong, or at the very least, be the last to fall. 

But still kept her gaze centred, watching as the icy wave aimed directly for the weak point of its target, launching another attack. Of all the stems that were still standing guard, there was one that drew attention most. Compared to others, it looked visibly weak and vulnerable. And it just happened to be the plant she'd placed the bet on. Not a second later, a harsh gust appeared once more,  seemingly being aimed carefully and precisely at the smallest, most unguarded sunflower plant at this current moment. Attacking was the easy part, especially for this unknown enemy, but would it be effective? Only time would tell.

Lilian watched in dismay, as the wave thrashed one more time, towards its unsuspecting victim, slapping it not once, not even twice, it had it hit it a total of three times. Desperate to hang on, the sunflower plant held for the first two hits, wavering slightly on the second. It tried its very hardest to keep strong, then finally the last wave came, more powerful than the few before… and the plant kept on slipping, until it finally lost control. And surrendered.

Lilian scowled as she had first-hand witnessed her loss. Her sunflower plant was the first to fall into submission.

“It  _had_ to be the one I planted didn’t it?” An exasperated sigh left her lips. "Couldn't have held on for three more seconds, could it? I raised a coward," she muttered. "A damn coward."

A few seconds of silence passed by and she used this time to place herself down on the grass. Once seated, she lay the rest of her body down. She puffed out her cheeks and crossed her arms over her chest, sulking. “Why can’t the damn wind pick on someone its own size?”

She groaned. Sitting back up, and glaring at the ruined sunflower plant. “I hate winter,” she said.

A shadow cast over her, and before she had chance to see who or what it was looming over her, a pair of hands covered her eyes. “Ah,” she knew that voice anywhere. “Dearest Princess, that’s where you’re mistaken. It’s not winter—not _yet_  anyway.” He removed his hands and plopped himself beside her, mimicking her sitting position, seeming to have not heard her prior statements, nor taken note of the array of fallen sunflowers.

The Princess rolled her eyes, but couldn’t help the quirk of her lips at the appearance of her sandy-haired friend. “Chunji.” She then crinkled her nose. "It  _is_ winter, don't kid yourself."

He used the upper half of his body to exaggerate a bow. “Princess,” he greeted.

"How many times do I have to remind you not to call me that, Chunji?"

He chuckled sheepishly. "My apologies, Cess of Prince."

The Princess crinkled her nose. “Why are you this way?” She shuffled, eyes downcast.  “I know you’re itching to bring it up so I’ll do it for you. Yes, you won the bet. Gloat all you want.” She tightened her arms around herself, her pout deepening.

“Oh really?” Chunji chuckled, seeming genuinely surprised to an extent, but not more so than knowing. “Really? Your sunflower was the first to fall? –  _Just like I predicted?”_

The Princess bumped against him, intentionally making him stumble a bit. "Though," she began, smirking slightly. "I did get here a little late, so who's to say you didn't sabotage it to ensure your victory?"

“Who's to say I didn't?" He agreed. "It's entirely possible. Perhaps it even took place. I'm surprised you haven’t had me beheaded yet." There was a friendly smile painting his lips. "I’m personally starting to think the little Princess beside me has a soft spot for this meddling kitchen assistant, myself.”

The Princess narrowed her eyes at her sandy haired friend. “Stop calling me Princess. It’s Lilian. Also, I’m not  _‘little’_. ”

“I think someone’s a bit of a sore loser.” His grin widened. “ _And_  has a height complex.”

Lilian's eyes were still narrowed. “Shut up. I’m not a sore loser, it just shouldn’t have happened.” She picked a stray piece of grass off her dress. “I worked really hard on planting that sunflower,” she mumbled. “But I’m not paying you.”

Chunji paused at this. “Whatever was it that made you feel as though you have to?” He was finding it hard to hold back his laughter, and finding it ever harder to stop teasing his Princess friend.  So with a dramatic sigh, continued--knowing how much this kind of behaviour made his friend cringe:  _“—just sitting here beside you is all I could ever ask for.”_ She hated cheesy confessions, she hated cheesy re-enactments, she hated cheese in general.

“Chunji,” she warned, still feeling bitter about her sunflower. She didn't need anything else to feel bitter about on top of it.

“I’m joking!” He moved back before she had chance to hit him.  “Don’t kill me –" he was still continuing with the dramatic re-enactments-- "I have a wife and twenty-five children at home! Lilian, I have a  _family_ to protect! If you kill the breadwinner  _– h-how are we going to survive?!”_

“You?” She muttered disbelieving. “A family? A  _wife?”_ She pushed herself up off the ground, offering her hand towards Chunji, to help him up onto his feet. "Let's be real here,  _you_  wouldn't be the breadwinner."

Chunji pouted. “Oh, alright.” He took her hand, pulling himself up with her. He seemed to lose himself in thought for a few seconds, in contemplation. Finally he said: “Maybe one day, though. And maybe not the breadwinner, but the bread  _maker!”_

Lilian snorted. “Good luck finding a girl who isn’t aware of how annoying you are. Better yet, finding one who can actually put up with it.”

Chunji faux-gasped. “Not a day goes by where you don't fail to wound me deeply," he muttered. "I don't know how much more my fragile heart can take."

Lilian rolled her eyes, but couldn't deny the fondness she felt for her best friend. “I’m joking,” she assured. Having kept her eyes on his his movements, she was aware of what he was planning so she quickly moved away from him. “Don’t tickle me.”

Chunji’s smile widened as he edged closer to her. “What would happen if I did?"

"I'd--" Lilian’s eyes narrowed. “Kill you.” He moved closer, as Lilian took three steps back. “Have you beheaded—Chunji I swear—!” In her peripheral vision had noticed that she’d almost reached the rabbit hut.

Chunji was looming in, now only an arms width away from reaching her. “Princesses don’t swear.” He sounded so sure of himself.

“Really?” She abruptly stood still, with an expression taking over her features that could only be described as a mix of fear and confusion. Chunji followed suit, scared she’d hurt herself accidentally. As he was about to ask if she was okay, Lilian took off running in the opposite direction. “Hah. Catch me if you can.” 

After eventually catching up to each other, they sat down on the grass. The grass hadn’t been cut for a few months.  Rather than being stunted and stubble-like, a rich array of ever-growing green strands presented themselves. Daises dotted the ins and outs of of the garden, a glowing white color. One small ivy plant had wrapped itself around the wooden fence, a bunch of blood red roses directly opposite.

“Do you remember this, Chunji?” Lilian had asked.

“Daisy chains,” Chunji replied, groaning. “They’re  _great.”_

Lilian smiled at the sarcasm that laced itself behind her best friend’s words. Knotting the ending of the last daisy, she completed the chain. Taking Chunji’s wrist in her hand, she slid the plant bracelet on and adjusted it so it fit nicely. She smiled at the result.

“It reminds me of how we met.”

_Summer had always been the young Princesses’ favorite time of the year. Longer days, brighter nights. She found winter too cold and dreary, believing it lacked a certain something. Summer, in her opinion, was a lot more friendly. Welcoming._

_In winter what would’ve been her nap time, was in summer the time she spent extra time outside in the Palace’s garden. Roaming the endless fields of the palace, picking daises from the flowerbed, sometimes climbing neighbouring trees. She’d just received her first pet – a rabbit she’d named Patch – and was finding it a little difficult to bond with the ball of fluff. It wasn’t that she didn’t like him, she found him ever-so adorable, he just didn’t anything the Princess considered interesting. That, or he was extremely shy. Or he didn’t like her._

_All in all, the Princess put it down to bond building. She was excellent with animals, and though Patch seemed to be challenging this statement thus far, she knew he’d eventually get used to her and the Palace life. If one thing was certain however, it was that he wouldn’t – ever – get bored. There was too much space for him to ever run out of options on what to do. Or where to play._

_It was no shock to anyone to find her out at six at night, except for a boy who was as equal in youth as the Princess—bar one or two years. Son of a famed baker; Lee Chan Hee by birthright—Chunji by choice._

_In what he thought was an inconspicuously precise ambush; he tiptoed up behind the young Princess – who sat on the grass, knotting the stem of a daisy, finishing off her third chain – and leaned against the bark of a tree opposite him. He tried his hardest not to make a sound, but got bored of the silence after three or so seconds._

_“Whatcha doing out here, Princess?”_

_The young Princess glanced up from her position, squinting up from the shade of the tree and making eye contact with the son of the most famous baker in the entire Palace. She chuckled softly to herself. “I could ask you the same thing, Chunji.”_

_Chunji’s mouth fell open and he stumbled backwards, almost losing his balance. He was a second away from falling flat on his face, before he straightened himself up and adjusted his hand placement. His mouth didn’t close, though. “Y-you know my n-name?”_

_“Of course.” The Princess nodded her head curtly. “I know everyone’s name here at the palace.”_

_“A-ah.” Chunji cleared his throat. He then brightened up at the realization that the Princess wasn’t half as stuck up as he’d originally thought. “So what are you doing out here?”_

_“Making a daisy chain.” She smiled up at the sandy haired boy, her brown eyes twinkling. “Isn’t it obvious?”_

_Chunji laughed. “Sure, Princess.” He moved closer to where she sat. “Since you know my name… and are out here at exactly the same time as I… I’m beginning to question your motives. Are you sure you’re not here just to see me?” As a playful person, Chunji told himself he couldn’t miss an opportunity to tease a person. And a Princess of all people?_

_Deciding that two could play at that game, the Princess let her smile drop. She stiffened her posture, and put on an affronted face. She scooted away from the sandy haired boy and crossed her arms. “Well you familiarize yourself quickly, don’t you?”_

_Chunji’s playful smile dropped. “I—um—I didn’t mean—I just—you—” He then took in a sharp gasp of air. “Oh god—please don’t have me beheaded!”_

_Lilian giggled. “I’m just kidding!”_

_Chunji’s eyes widened and he let out a breath he’d hadn’t realized he’d been holding. “You’re only—oh my god. That was horrible. I was so scared—I-I thought you were serious!”_

_Lilian scoffed. “Clearly.”_

_Chunji pouted. “You’re mean.”_

_Lilian smiled up at him. “It’s nice to meet you too.”_

_“Same! I mean—to meet you, of course. Not me meet me because that doesn’t even make sense a-and—”_

_“Chunji?”_

_“Y-yes?”_

_“Would you like to make a daisy chain with me?”_

_“I’m a boy! Boys don’t make daisy chains!”_

_Lilian laughed softly. “You’re just scared that I’ll make a better daisy chain than you, aren’t you?”_

_Chunji grumbled. “Give me the damn flower, then!”_

_Lilian passed a handful of daisies over. “Flowers, Chunji. You can’t make a daisy chain with one daisy. It’s not possible.”_

_“Oh yeah?” He sent her a confident smile. “I bet I could.” He took a daisy from the pile, proceeded to make a small knot, but just as he threaded the stem through the hole to tighten it, pulled a little too hard and broke the knot._

_Lilian smiled mockingly. “What was it you were just saying?”_

_“Look—just because you’re a show off doesn’t mean we all—”_

_“You’re pulling too hard on the stem. Thread the knot a little gentler… that should do the trick.”_

_So Chunji tried again. And again. And again. And then another twelve time before he grabbed the rest of the daises and threw them across the Palaces’ garden. “Aish! I give up!”_

_Lilian tried her hardest to hold back her laughter. “You were saying?”_

_Chunji’s eyes narrowed. “You win.”_

_"I’m sorry. What was that?"_

_"I said you win!"_

_Lilian’s grin widened. “I win?”_

_"You win." He folded his arms and pouted._

_A few hours had passed. After a very long game of hide and seek and a competition of who could climb the nearest try the highest, Lilian and Chunji had laid themselves onto the grass, and decided to watch the sunset._

_“Hey Chunji?” Lilian asked, turning to face the sandy haired boy._

_Chunji hummed in response._

_“Do you think you’ll be able to get me a puppy?”_

_Chunji whipped his head around to face the Princess. “Do I think I can—what?”_

_“Get me puppy?” She blinked her big brown eyes at him. “Please.”_

_“Princess…”_

_“Lilian.”_

_“H-huh?”_

_“My name is Lilian.”_

_“You mean—”_

_“That you’re allowed to refer to me as such? Yes. Of course. After all, we are friends now, right?”_

_Chunji was dumbstruck. “We are?”_

_Lilian’s smile fell. “You don’t want to be?”_

_“N-no… I mean of course! Of course I want to be friends. Yes. We’re friends.”_

 

Chunji’s eyes widened. “Oh god.” He buried his head into his hands, embarrassed. “You still remember that?”

“Well it’s not like I’m going to forget how I met my best friend? Really?”

“Yeah,” Chunji agreed, beaming. “Who – around here – can say they’re best friends with a Princess?”

“You, for one.”

Chunji’s posture deflated. He looked towards Lilian and pouted. “Way to kill the mood, Cess of Prince.”

“I didn’t realize there was a ‘mood’ to kill.”

“You never do.”

Lilian sighed.

“I mean—not that it’s a bad thing! I just wanted to feel special and important because… well… it’s not a common for commoners like me to have a Princess friend and—”

“Chunji?”

He cringed. “Yes?” Expecting a ‘shut up’ or ‘you’re dumb’ from the Princesses’ lips.  

“You’re already special. You don’t need me to finalize that.”

“I—”

“Now be quiet before you embarrass yourself.”

Chunji pouted. “I was actually going to say that we’ve come a really long way since we first met though, haven’t we?”

Lilian smiled. “That we have.”

 

Lilian cast a glance at her folded hands. She didn’t need to look at the clock to know what time it was, as she could hear it uttered from just about every mouth of every person within a five mile radius. Having had this happen to her for every day of her life for the past sixteen--nearing seventeen--years, she had hoped she would be used to it by now. For a long time, she had convinced herself that she was. That it didn’t bother her half as much as it had before. But sitting there, she’d realized just how wrong she had been. That she had never gotten over it and she definitely couldn’t stand it. It had gotten to the point where she’d begun to ask herself if it was possible to hate something so much.

She didn’t understand how she had the ability to loathe something so much, and as a person of the most proper of upbringing knew how much loathe was frowned upon. For the longest time she’d convinced herself she could not, nor would she ever understand anyone who proclaimed to hate or loathe anything.

Until today.


	10. Lucky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LvLSwOYG9bE

 

It had gotten to the point where she’d begun to ask herself if it was even possible to hate something so much.  

And that was one thing a Princess should have never had to ask herself. Apparently, anyway.

With all the ‘proper’ upbringing that Lilian had received;- etiquette classes, posture correction classes, verbal and non-verbal mannerism classes… she was right to presume that the word ‘hate’ should not have been one of her vocabulary. The meaning should have been unclear, quietly left unsaid. Just like everything else for a Princess. Notice everything, voice none of it.

A Princess, in Lilian’s experience, was a person that wasn’t allowed to feel sad. Someone who had to put on a brave face and smile through the tears, to laugh the pain away. No matter what the circumstance was.

A person who wasn’t allowed show any signs of displeasure or ill emotion even on days when she was sick. Which in that case, wasn’t allowed time off. Someone who wasn’t allowed to get bored of the mundane daily events of life at the Palace, yet wasn’t allowed to explore, to move but fifty feet outside of the place; because even if she tried, gates that weighed more than some means of transport blocked every exit that existed.

Routine after routine. Doors bolted at exactly nine, every night. In bed by ten, every night. Breakfast by six, every morning.  Boxed in inside of a Palace and forced to keep up a pretense that life there – and everything in life there – was perfect. That it always had been. How it always would be.

A Princess was a person who wasn’t allowed to make her own decisions; ever; but was still expected to be able to stand around and jubilantly join in on the activities she had no say in. She had to show enthusiasm, bring utmost joy to every occasion. Or else she was giving everyone else a bad name. Bringing ‘shame’ upon them.

For the longest time, Lilian hadn’t understood how she had the ability to hate. Or to loathe. For the longest time, she had convinced herself that she could not, nor would she ever understand anyone who proclaimed to hate or loathe anything.

Until today.

Because she did, she really did.

The Princess loathed not being able to make her own decisions.

She hated being controlled.

 

She glanced at the much too sophisticated mirror on her much too sophisticated dressing table, a golden lined border, a crystal inserted on the left and the right sides. The reflective surface so squeaky clean, glimmering, she was afraid of laying a finger on it in case it shattered into a thousand tiny miniaturist shards. But even then wouldn’t be surprised if the shards realigned themselves and transformed into tiny glowing gems, each accompanied by a name, a class, and a rank in society. Hell, they’d probably have table manners.   

“Princess?”

Lilian glanced up.  A Palace Guard. Clad in a dark blue robe, a belt wrapped around his middle. He had tied it too tight, highlighting a role of his ever-growing stomach. What was once tight, taut skin – from years of hard work and forced labor – had coagulated into lumps of dimpled skin. For this man had come to the realization that after sealing his place at the Palace, he need not put half as much effort into his work, and was fed regularly – usually more than enough – come dinnertime.

His gray hair was covered by a royal blue head scarf, shielding the bald patches that were ever making themselves present. Image hadn’t mattered to him previously—in his old job. No one paid any interest to how a working village man looked; it had been that way for centuries. But the minute they stepped foot on the Palace’s premises… everything changed. A friendly, kept appearance was one of, if not, the most important trait a Palace worker needed to possess. And according to the Palace inhabitants, baldness was unsightly.  Or ‘frightening.’

Upon closer inspection, the Princess noted that the Guard had a scar that started from the beginning of his left eyebrow, deep looking; it had taken a patch from his eyebrow also. It continued down to the middle of his left cheek where it then thinned out, and was a lot less noticeable.

He had claimed that it was a ‘souvenir’ from a battle with one the ‘Rogues’ or as some deemed them ‘Night Crawlers’. People from dark, dangerous backgrounds. A group of men who had no outward purpose, but mercilessly wreaked havoc in the village. There had been first hand accounts of these people, and the terrible crimes they’d committed. Some claimed they’d send warnings for weeks, subtle little hints. An engraving in a tree, a hole in the ground that was carved a specific way, into a specific shape. A missing chunk of wood from the farm’s gate. Others claimed that these Rogues had sneaked onto farms, purposely catching the eye of the farmers and smirking as they slit their newborn cattle’s throats. Farmers’ were said to have gone into deep shock not shortly after, hide away for months. In fear, in disgust.

Not a lot was known about these ‘Rogue’ like people.  Some were said to travel alone. Completely alone. Clad only in black in most accounts, tattered cloth rags in others. Always had a stolen backpack to carry their stolen goods. Others were said to have been seen in groups. Sometimes two, sometimes four. They didn’t come out until sunset, and would sneak around farms in the dead of night, doing god only knows what.

They were mysterious, surely. No one knew a thing about them, why they did what they did, what it even was that they were doing. What they hoped to accomplish. But they were certain of one thing, and that was that these people were dangerous.

_Deadly._

After the Guard’s claim, or continuous bragging, Lilian had been a little weary of him ever since. As a Princess, she’d heard a lot about the Rogues, the type who rebelled against the village and the Palace, those who wouldn’t conform, and did everything in their power to rebel.  Luckily, they were banished from entering the village, never mind the Palace.  

Somehow, however, she couldn’t hold back the urge of wanting to get to know more about these people. These ‘Rogues’.

“Dinner in twenty. Your Highness wants to see and speak with you in five.”

Lilian snapped herself out of her reverie. “Of course. I can’t be late now can I?” She forced a chuckle. “The second biggest day of my life and all.”

The Guard managed a stiff smile. He turned around and started to make an advancement towards the door.

“Um…  _Guard?”_

The Guard bowed his head respectfully. “The door?”

Lilian nodded her head, presenting a tight-lipped smile to the Palace’s main household Guard. “Please.”

The door clicked, closed.

 

She pushed open the door to a room, her mother’s room, with décor so enchanting it looked as if it had come straight out of a fairy tale.   

Tall plant pots to the left side of the room, a large window next to it, with thin draped curtains manoeuvring around it, leading out towards the largest and richest balcony the Palace had on offer.  Directly behind the window lay a piano, and a fluffed up stool. A lone chandelier hung from the ceiling, large with a white and black pattern mix, it had a variety of diamond and glass decorates.  A small white sitting chair placed towards the side of the first upholstered furniture.

The furniture was crème white, with puffed up pillows, and a small table between both of the pieces. Behind the sofa was where a royal wood dressing table sat, coated with varnish. Two black candle holders lay atop the table, as well as a black metal stool, to accompany the table.

Next to the dressing table was a door, which continued into another section where her mother’s actual bedroom was—with another dressing table, three tall wardrobes and a Queen sized bed—directly opposite a custom made bathroom.

Lilian looked around the room. “Mother?” She then asked, noting her mother wasn’t anywhere in sight.

After three or so seconds, her mother emerged from the door that led to her inner bedroom. Her face lit up as she laid eyes upon her youngest daughter. “Oh Lilian, there you are!” As she began walking towards the petite girl. “I was beginning to worry so I sent Chul-Moo to fetch you. The Guard who is always running errands for us. You should be fairly familiar with him, correct?”

Lilian nodded her head, and then chuckled softly. “I didn’t know he was called Chul-Moo, though.”

Her mother laughed. “Not a lot of people do. He’s a very private person.”

Lilian resisted the urge to scoff. He wasn’t very private when he was bragging about his ‘battle scars’ so the Princess didn’t understand where her mother was coming from. “Ah, really?” Her nose scrunched up a little against her will.

Her mother smiled. “You may not think this is of any importance but his name itself means ‘Iron weapon’ – and speaks for him, really. He’s a very strong man.”

“I can, uh… tell.”

“So Lilian.” Her mother beamed. “Are you excited?”

Lilian’s eyebrows shot up, and the crinkle of her nose was hard to dismiss. “Am I… what?”

“ _Excited?_  You’re formally meeting your soon to be husband! Silly me, of course you’re excited. Who wouldn’t be?” Her mother giggled. “I heard he’s very handsome.”

Lilian forced herself to smile. “Right. But mother… I don’t think…”

“Do you have the gist of what you’re going to say, some lines memorized, perhaps? I know I was nervous in this position, and I know you’re young… but the impression you make is very important. It could make or it could break the deal.”

Lilian smirked a little this time. “Sure,” she said. “I know  _exactly_ what I’m going to say.”

Her mother smiled at her. “I’m very proud of you, sweetheart. I suppose we should sit down and have a rest for a while, then?”

“Won’t we… won’t we be late if we do that?”

There was a twinkle to her mother’s eye. “A Princess is always fashionably late, darling.”

 

“The dress is a little…uh…”

“I know it’s a little ‘out there’ so to speak, but remember that we need to make an impression. Plus, you look beautiful.” Lilian’s mother smiled at her daughter through their reflection in the mirror. Her eyes clouding over with pride.

The dress was a pale pink color. Silk, strapless, with a tight corset bodice that accentuated the waist to an amplified degree. A line of diamonds acted as a belt around the middle; every twist and spin on the lower half of the dress acted as a layer. Three in all, the first was full of soft ruffles, the same silk embroidery.  Second were larger ruffles, a couple of purposely-intended crinkles, giving the dress a boost in volume. The last layer a straightened, flat, and lengthy, allowing the silk to shine merrily. Lilian was encouraged to wear matching silk gloves. Her long black hair tied into a double knotted bun.  

Her mother had told her to stay seated and wait for her cue, but Lilian, the curious Princess she was, wanted to see it now. She also wanted to know exactly what she was getting into, which seat she was sitting at, whom she’d be sitting next to, what food they were serving. Usually she’d let things like that slide and wouldn’t mind finding out when it was time, but this time, this night in particular… she needed to know. She needed to be on top of the situation.

“Well well well,” that much too familiar voice lilted. “If it isn’t the Princess looking like a lady for the first time in her life!”

“Well well well,” the Princess mimicked. “If it isn’t Lee Chan Hee looking like a gentleman for the first time in his life!”

He pouted. “It’s Chunji.”

“Just as my name is Lilian.”

Chunji chuckled softly. “I think that’s becoming your catchphrase, my dear.”

“Like the stupid nicknames are yours?”

Chunji’s eyes twinkled under the lighting.  “Something like that, yeah.” He leaned against the wall closest to the spiral staircase, his light expression soon falling. “You’re nervous,” he noted, watching the Princess twiddle with her thumbs.

Lilian’s head snapped up, defiantly crossing her arms over her chest. “Wha—I’m not… I am notnervous!”

“You can’t lie to me, Princess.”

Lilian crinkled her nose. “You’re nervous,” she said, suddenly finding this mimicking game quite fun. Anything to avoid talking about  _that._

Chunji nodded his head. “Terrified, actually.”

Lilian crinkled her nose at him. Of course he'd admit it straight up the one time she wanted him to deny it.

 

There were four of them.

The first was tallest, most pristinely dressed. He led them. With wavy hair that fell a little before his shoulders, a pronounced nose, and jawbone, he accentuated masculinity. There wasn’t a thing out of place on his attire, a strand of hair that wasn’t expertly styled.

The second, his closest confidant, a smaller man. With light blond hair, and much softer features that somehow combined into a seemingly arrogant array, but couldn’t be much further from the truth personality wise, he had a much friendlier aura, in both appearance and body language. But an air of mystery also seemed to cloud around him, something that went unnoticed by the other three.

The third was but a centimeter smaller than the first. Once again expertly styled, he exuded a rich, sophisticated aura. He was undeniably handsome, but in a way where his features came off as pretty, more so than they did masculine.   

The fourth and final had a handsomeness that seemed to mix with both the first and third’s style, accumulating some pretty features and some masculine into one, creating an aura that seemed slightly detached, possibly neighboring towards suave.

“So boys,” the first man said; his voice loud and booming. The type that had to have attention focused solely on him the minute he said or did anything, or else continued persistently until it was. Limelight was his second favorite thing, only just charting behind praise.

The second nodded his head. It was a gentle movement.  He checked the sleeves of his blazer for any mismatches or unappealing stitching, before dusting off the shoulders of his blazer.

“Daehyun?” The first one asked, turning towards the blond.

Daehyun met the eyes of the taller man. “Yes, Jungshin?”

“You have my hand mirror, correct?”

Daehyun nodded his head.

“Well don’t just stand there!” Said the fourth man dramatically. “Hand it over.”

Daehyun let out a small sigh. “Of course, Yonghwa.” He handed the portable gold-rimmed mirror over to Jungshin and stood back, allowing the taller to glance at his reflection and grin with glee.

“My oh my.” Jungshin let out a dramatic sigh. “Aren’t I just the most handsome fellow in all of the land.”

The third man peered over Jungshin’s shoulder, checking out his reflection as well. “Don’t you mean aren’t  _we_ all the most handsome fellows in all of the land, Jungshin?”

“Jonghyun?” Jungshin motioned Jonghyun to back down with his hand. “Please don’t get  _too_ far ahead of yourself.”

“Oh Jungshin, you know I can’t help it.” Jonghyun flipped his hair out of his eyes. “After all, I  _am_ a misunderstood poet.”

Yonghwa guffawed. “That you are! Just as I am the most intelligent man in all of the land. The best looking one at that.”

“Hmm, I wouldn’t say you’re the most attractive. After all, there’s me. The future King of the entire land. The tallest, manliest, most powerful in all of the land. The brightest, funniest, most gregarious the land has on offer. The most eligible, I am the great asset of this land. No one can overpower my magnificence. After all, I  _am_  Lee Jungshin.”

Daehyun appeared to sigh to himself.  He then looked towards the Palace’s main door and noticed that people were making their way inside. “I think we are supposed to make our entrance now,” capturing the attention of the other three men.

Jungshin held his head up high, pushing his shoulders out confidently. “Come on then, boys!”

 

The four of them strode into the dining room with so much power and confidence that those who were lining up to be seated, even those who were seated, eyes shot straight towards the newest guests. Younger servant girls', who were fixing the final touches of the party mouths fell open in awe, guests and familiars started to gossip at their arrival, so much so it led kitchen assistants to peak their heads out of the kitchen and question what all the fuss was about.

Jungshin appeared at the dining table first. He walked towards the biggest, most extravagant seat. “I presume I’m sitting here?”

“Actually…” A mouse-like voice said. “You sit two down from there. That seat belongs to the Queen.” She bowed her head, afraid of making eye contact with the Prince. Just the way he liked it.

The same woman then directed Jonghyun to the left side of Jungshin and Yonghwa to his right. She directed Daehyun to the opposite side, to the left seat of the one opposite Jungshin.

Daehyun was the only one to thank the woman.

“So,” Jungshin then boomed after he’d sat down, capturing the entire table’s attention. “Where is she?”

“Um,” another softly spoken table occupant said. “She’ll arrive in a little while, Prince Jungshin.” The table occupant pulled up a crinkled picture from their pocket. “Here’s a picture, however.”

“Mm, as pretty as they said.” His grin faltered as he noted the second person in the picture. “But… who is that with her? Fact or fiction?”

“Fact. I’m her best friend.” Chunji pulled out his seat – which was directly opposite Jungshin’s – and sat down. “We’ve been best friends the majority of our lives. That picture was sketched last year.” He smiled at Jungshin, offering his hand. “Hi, I’m Chunji.”

Jungshin scoffed, dismissing his hand. “I’ll make sure that won’t be for much longer. Your name?”

Chunji didn’t flinch at his change in demeanor. He was partially expecting it, in fact. “Chunji,” he repeated.

“No, you buffoon. I mean your family name. Your full family name.”

“I know what you mean.” Chunji smiled sardonically. “It’s Lee. Lee Chan Hee. But I go by Chunji.”

Jungshin snorted. “Why—are you  _ashamed?”_  He guffawed. “Well I suppose that makes sense. I’m not very adept at interacting with peasants. Never mind peasant sons of peasant bakers. No need to admit to your peasantry.”

Chunji didn’t even blink. “So much of a peasant you know who he is by one interaction with his son?” Chunji chuckled. “So much of a peasant you’ll be scraping his food off of your plate in less than two hours, more than likely demanding seconds?”

Jungshin found it hard to blanket his shock. “He  _works_ here?”

“He’s the main Chef, actually.”

“Oh, that’s right.” Yonghwa gasped, leaning in. “Your mother’s  _dead,_  isn’t she?”

The fist Chunji had placed underneath the dining table was squeezed so tightly that his knuckles turned white. “What has that got to do with anything?” His voice didn’t waver, which he congratulated himself on.

“Aaah yes,” Jungshin butted in. “Rumor has it your mother cheated on your father with another man. And well… then paid the price of adultery. It must be terrible.” He reached forward to pat Chunji on the shoulder sympathetically. “To have a wench for a mother and a peasant for a father.”

Chunji took a deep breath. “She died in childbirth.”

“Was it… a product of her affair?” Jonghyun asked, but made sure he didn’t word it so it implied such. He intended it to be taken as a question.

“After me. She died after giving birth to me.”

Daehyun, who was sat to the left of Chunji, gripped Chunji’s hand – that was under the table – and squeezed it sympathetically. Chunji jumped in surprise, turning to face Daehyun, eyebrows furrowed.

Daehyun nodded at him, lowering his voice voice so that only Chunji could hear, "It is highly likely that my brother will have interacted with your mother. Though I have not, nor know of her name, please know that he is nothing if not skilled in his area of expertise. I am sure her guidance to the other side will have been smooth, painless."

Chunji wore a perplexed expression. "What?" Not even waiting for a reply as he sent the blond man a confused look, he turned back to the other three. 

Jonghyun’s eyes saddened and even Yonghwa seemed to be a little put off.

Jungshin shrugged easily. “Your lack of manners indicates this. Growing up without a mother makes an ill-mannered child, clearly.” He looked towards the other three for support and encouragement, but found that this time they were reluctant to laugh along.

Chunji stood up, and pushed his stool against the dining table. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to go find Lilian.”

“Princess—!”

Chunji turned back and raised an eyebrow. “Excuse me?”

Jungshin crossed his arms over his chest, straightening his posture. “As my intended, she is my property. You will refer to her as ‘Princess’ from here on out.”

Chunji snorted. “Right, okay. And she’s my best friend. I’ll refer to her how  _she_ tells me to refer to her, and that’s as Lilian.”

 

Chunji found the Princess sat in the music room, three rooms away from her bedroom. She was sat at the stool of the piano, head down.

Chunji took a deep breath to calm himself down but found it made him angrier so instead of laughing it off and making a joke out of it like he’d normally do when angry, he found his fist connecting with the stone wall. He let out a cry of pain.

“Chunji?” Lilian gasped, running over to her best friend. “What the hell Chunji? What was that about—” She noticed the look on his face and the undeniable sadness in her best friend’s eyes. “Are you alright?”

He took a breath to calm himself down. “I’m fine,” he said dismissively.

“You just… you just punched the wall!”

“And it hurt like hell.” He groaned. “But I’ll be fine, don’t worry about it.” He took a deep breath, plastering a smile on his face. “Ready to go?” He offered her his arm.

Lilian cast another worried glance at her best friend’s face, before taking his arm. They made their way down the stairs and into the dining room.

 

Once they arrived, every eye in the room zoomed in on them. Lilian glanced around the room, noting which faces she knew and which faces were new. She could already pick out the ones who were she suspected to be her arranged fiancé, or in her arranged fiancé’s circle of friends.    

Her mother sent her a bright smile. “Lilian, darling! You’re here. Come on now, give us a twirl.”

The blood drained from Lilian’s face. “A-a twirl?”

“Yes,” her mother replied sharply. Urging her to hurry up with her eyes. “A twirl! Your ever famous princess twirl.”

“Aha, right. _That_ twirl,” Lilian awkwardly said, playing along. She quickly twirled around and then bowed, making her way over to the only free seat at the table. She almost sighed in relief when she realized she was next to Chunji, and another blond boy she didn’t know the name of, but looked friendly enough.

 

An hour had passed. Food had been served, and people were enjoying it to the fullest. Lilian hadn’t noticed the tension in the air that floated between her best friend and the man in the seat opposite, because she was too busy trying to figure out which one of the four suspects she’d lined up were her husband-to-be…

_“Lilian!”_

Lilian snapped her head towards her mother. “W-wha—?”

Her mother laughed. To others it sounded genuine, open. To Lilian it sounded contrived, forced. Her mother was shaking with nerves and Lilian wasn’t helping her case. “Oh darling! I know you’re excited, we all are, but please don’t get to the point of excitement where you forget that we are gravely anticipating your final bachelorette speech!”  The look in her mother’s eye was begging her to hurry up and get on with it.

“Of course,” Lilian said through gritted teeth. “You must excuse my tardiness.”

Her mother sighed in relief.

Lilian sent a charming smile all around. “After all, which sixteen year old Princess can handle such a massive event? After all… I’m only a girl. A young, weak, absent minded girl with no other desires in life but to serve my intended. To become a wife, and have no say in what I can and can’t do. You must forgive me for getting carried away… but it’s just… it’s such a meaningful thing to me. My marriage. Once again, you must forgive me.” The scowl on her face, the bite to her tone contradicted everything she said… but no one – with the exception of Chunji, or so she believed – could tell.

The rest smiled along as though the words from her lips were the truest things they’d ever heard.

She took a deep breath and then continued: “All my life.” She stopped for emphasis. “ _All my life…_ I have dreamed of this day. There are times where I lay in bed come night time and I imagine it, event after event. A husband. No freedom. No choices that are made by me! Everything around me is chosen by you – all of you – you all decide my future… my ambitions. I’m just a measly little girl who doesn’t know what – or who she wants in life, right? It’s preposterous to want independence, and it’s even more preposterous to want the freedom to choose what I do in my life, isn’t it? My dreams reflect this! In every dream that I can recall… I’m standing in the kitchen…  _I’m cooking!_  I suggested a maid to my husband – who’s here in this room right now.” She sent a smile to one of the four she’d predicted, not really caring if she got the wrong one. “I suggested that we get a maid, but he was vehemently against it. I soon came to realize how right he was! After all, a woman’s job is do such duty herself. A woman’s job is to bear children and be bound to a life that she may never have wanted in a different universe, but can’t complain because it’s all she’s worth… regardless of rank or stature,  _right?”_ She sent a gleaming smile all around. "Of course."

By the end of her speech, everyone was clapping. Chunji was holding back his laughter and she sent a subtle wink his way. She then caught the eyes of the blond beside Chunji and saw the laughter in his eyes. It surprised her. He seemed to understand the concept of sarcasm. She beamed at him, and he smiled back.

Jungshin stood up. “Ah,” he exclaimed, clapping. He sat back down, pushing his empty plate of food to the side.

Lilian knew for sure who her fiancé was now, and was just glad that she wouldn’t have to second guess any more.

“I have heard many a tale about you, my Princess Lilly. I must say.” He reached out, took her hand and placed a chaste kiss on it. “They have done you no justice.”

As he was doing this, Lilian felt a small piece of paper be passed over to her. And when all eyes had turned to other things, and the excitement had died down a little, she unfolded the scrap of paper. Glancing around the room to make sure that no eyes were on her, she then met the eyes of her sandy blond best friend. The sandy blond sent her a conspicuous wink before delving back to the food on his plate.

Lilian opened the piece of paper, glanced at the neat scrawl that lay there, and chuckled. It summed everything up pretty well, she thought.

And despite her bitter mood, Lilian smiled. Chunji seemed to have this affect on her often.

But the happiness she felt at having such a great best friend disappeared when ‘Jungshin’ reopened his mouth.

“Now,” he boomed. “Let the man of the manor make his speech.”


	11. Breakaway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U__O-0GFtgc

“All my life.” Jungshin paused. He cast an expectant glance around the room, making sure that every eye in the room was on him. When satisfied, he continued, emulating the Princesses' earlier words:  _“All my life,_ I have been treated exceptionally. As, of course, I was better than every single person with whom I crossed paths, interacted. Naturally, I questioned this at first. How could such a young child be so important, so magnificent? Then as time progressed, I learned to accept it, as I  _always_ stood out. I was always the best. No one could challenge me or best me. I never felt sad. Just proud. I’m perfect, I know that now. Lilian should be honored at the opportunity of becoming my wife.” He beamed. “And it seems she is. She has _sense_.”

He clinked his emptied glass with Yonghwa. “You’re all excused. Dinner is over.”

The guests and the regulars quickly formed a formal line, politely giving their thanks to the servants and sending their thanks to the Chef and kitchen assistants. One by one, they exited the dining room. Some went straight out of the door, whilst others lingered around the Palace’s lower halls for a while. The few that lived in the Palace to begin with had long called it a day and retreated into their chambers—or if of high importance, bedrooms.

The few that were left in the dining room were as follows: Lilian, Chunji. Daehyun, Jonghyun, Yonghwa and Jungshin.

As well as the Queen.

There was a silence. A significantly prolonged silence. A significantly prolonged silence that felt increasingly awkward for both Lilian and Chunji, but it seemed as though everyone else inhibiting the room did not notice.

Not being able to take it much longer, Lilian opened her mouth to speak only to be cut off by her mother clearing her throat.

Lilian quirked an eyebrow at her mother.

Her mother indicated towards Jungshin with her eyes, sending a soft smile Lilian’s way. She hoped it translated to— ‘we’ve discussed this topic already, remember?’

Lilian nodded her head obediently, allowing her mother to look away and focus her attention elsewhere and as her mother did this, Lilian rolled her eyes and let out a small, almost undecipherable sigh. Of all people, why her?

And of all people… why him?

She didn’t want this. Any of it. And it made her angry that she had no say whatsoever in what essentially was the entirety of her future. She had no say in any of the choices that revolved around her, no option where she could speak up or disagree, no option to request that this arranged marriage wouldn't take place, no possible option for it to be called off. She knew 'falling in love' was a process that was evidently going to take longer than a day and a day's interaction, but Jungshin, hard as she tried, she wasn't sure she was able to attribute a positive characteristic towards him, now or ever. She sure as hell couldn't imagine spending the rest of her life with him. When thinking about the kind of things that entailed, she cringed. 'Love' -- specifically love forged by contract -- wasn't something that would change him, and likely wouldn't change the Princess herself. Truthfully she was no expert in the field of love, but she knew for sure she enjoyed her independence, she just wished it came with control over her circumstances also, but as a Princess, that was nothing but a distant dream.  

Maybe she should’ve been used to it by now, thankful that she was born into such a wealthy family, surrounded by the bright and genuine smiles of the Palace’s inhabitants every day. Served on hand and foot, every day.

It could’ve been much, much worse. She could’ve been born on the streets to a struggling family who could barely hold the seams of their roof together. Who had to work all day and night just to make sure there was food on the table by the time they came home.

And admittedly she knew this. Yet there was something inside of her heart that constricted at the thought of freedom being taken away in every sense of the meaning, at the realization that even if she'd been born into Royalty, possessed a Royal bloodline, the Royal life just wasn't her.

She didn’t want to be silenced, left in the dark about everything. 

This, as a Princess, was inevitable. Her life revolved around the clock, there wasn't a second of the day where she'd have time to herself, minus the few hours she was allowed to roam the gardens.

She couldn’t help but loathe everything the job description encompassed, as she grew older. The guilt trips had grown old, too. She hadn't asked to be born into this life, and spend the majority of her days in recent times planning her escape, now that she thought about it. She intended to find a way out of it… eventually. 

Zoning back into her surroundings, she let out another sigh. More pronounced than last time, how she wished to be any place but the ball room…

Then she felt a sharp pain hit the lower half of her leg and cringed in pain. Holding back the hiss, she turned towards her sandy blond best friend. Her eyes narrowed as he sent her his most charming smile.

“What?” She hissed, intending not to capture the attention of the rest of the table’s occupants. “No seriously, why did you kick me?”

Chunji chuckled. His smile faded a notch when he noticed the displeasure coating the young Princess’s tone. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

Lilian scoffed. “You wouldn’t even be able to hurt a fly even if you tried, let’s be real.”

Chunji let out a huff. “You’re always so mean.” Crinkling his nose at her. “Who’d willingly want to hurt a fly, anyway? Not only have they done nothing wrong, the mess it entails... I don't get people sometimes.—Never mind that, though. I ‘kicked’ you –as you so eloquently put it – because you were so out of it that you didn’t even hear me calling you!”

Lilian raised one eyebrow. “Pretty sure I would’ve heard you if you called me.” She blinked her big brown eyes at him innocently. “Are you sure you called me?" She'd do anything to deflect conversation about her present circumstances, entertain any train of thought, just so long as it didn't involve the name Jungshin. 

Chunji crossed his arms, peering at her curiously. “I’m sure.”

“But are you positive?”

“Yes.”

“How positive?”

“Pretty damn positive?”

“How positive is ‘pretty damn positive’, Chunji?”

“Enough positive to—argh! Never mind.” He exasperatedly shook his head. “Besides, what really matters is you. Are you alright?” Genuine worry clouded his features. 

“I’m fine,” Lilian dead panned, expressionless. She sighed. “But unlike you, I'm not positive. I wouldn't be able to defend the certainty of my mood had I be challenged on it. But I won't be challenged on it. Because not only is everyone evidently so blinded to sarcasm, that they genuinely believe I meant every word I'd said in my speech, who even cares what I think? I’m just little Princess Lilian, right? Royal or not, I'm the youngest in the family. It’s not like my opinion matters here, nor has it ever, not even when a decision or situation completely revolves around me," she sounded so worn out, defeated. "So who even cares. Chunji,  _who cares?”_

Chunji didn’t miss a beat. “I care.”

Lilian looked at the palm of her hands guiltily. “I know that… I know  _you_  care, Chunji. But I just—” She sighed, and then let her head lay against the dining table. It was cool, and surprisingly calming. “I’m going insane,” she mumbled. "How could they not realize how utterly over the top my speech had been? How sarcasm was legitimately dripping from each word? Maybe it's forgiveable for them to not realize how much I'm going to dislike Jungshin, but how can they be so blind as to not realize that's not how I usually act? They're aware of how I am as a person, particularly my less than stellar cooking skills, so why ignore that now, act like it's not something they're constantly teasing me about? Isn't it in distaste to so easily sell your youngest daughter off to the highest bidder? The kingdoms are stronger separate, anyway, and that's not just an opinion. We've survived this long separate, why decide to change that now? Surely there're are tons of other high stature women -- older than myself, more suited -- clawing for this position, open to marrying Jungshin."  

Chunji frowned. He hated seeing pain or ill emotion in anyone, and always tried his hardest to make sure that if it were to come along – in anyone – that it didn’t stay for long. He wasn’t used to being it so personal, however.  Or perhaps he was, he just always knew what to say to make things better afterwards. But Lilian… for one, she was his closest friend and from experience of seeing her every single day of his life, wasn’t used to seeing her in such a state, and two, this time found he didn’t know what to say to make things better. He didn’t know the quick fire way to help her out of this, and if he were to be completely honest… wasn’t even sure there was a way out of it, this time. He cast a wary glance at his best friend, hoping to tread lightly. "Besides the Queen and your elder sister, Lilian, you _are_ the highest calibre of woman around, in our day and age. Jungshin absolutely will not settle for anything less, I'm sure you're aware."

Lilian kept her eyes downcast, sighing. It was inarguable. “You know what makes it even better though?” Lilian’s eyes were dark as she glanced back up, her tone sarcastic. It was clear to Chunji that she couldn’t register the emotion she was feeling, nor did she care all that much. 

Chunji chuckled, though behind it all was a note of nervousness. “Humor me?” Truthfully, he felt like a jittery mess himself.  _He_ didn’t know what he was feeling.

“We’re at the opposite end of the table to them, talking about them, talking about the ridiculousness of the situation and they’re actually within hearing distance… and they still haven’t noticed? It’s hi-lar-i-ous." Her tone of voice and facial expression appeared so detached, so emotionless, so empty. "Except it's really not."

Chunji’s frown deepened but it had nothing to do with the rest of the table’s occupants, and their lack of acknowledgement. Deciding that witnessing his best friend in her current state was only worsening things emotionally for them both, he tried to lighten the mood, as he normally would.

Except this time, he knew it wouldn’t be as effective for the Princess and Chunji was five times more nervous and off-put emotionally than he’d been, ever.

“Hey Lilian?” He gently tapped the shoulder of his black haired best friend, successfully capturing her attention.

“What?” She asked, muttering.

Chunji fiddled with his hands. He had acknowledged already that this next technique more than likely wouldn’t change a thing… he just hoped it wouldn’t back fire and in turn worsen the Princesses’ already sour mood.

“Watch,” he said, snorting.

Lilian’s eyebrow rose. “Watch—? Watch what?”

Chunji pointed out Jungshin’s ‘company’. “The other three. They’re so in sync with each other. It’s like they’re statues.”

Lilian rolled her eyes. “Who cares. I sincerely hope all of them jump off a cliff, to be polite.” She buried her head into her arms – that were placed against the table still. “And drag Douche-shin with them.”

Despite himself, Chunji cracked up. “Seriously though.”

Lilian grumbled. She glanced up and cast a glance at the opposite side of the table, and focused her attention on Yonghwa and Jonghyun.  She watched them for ten or so seconds, before her nose crinkled up in distaste. They were drumming their fingers against the table in sync. Picking their glasses up in sync. Flipping their hair in sync. She could’ve sworn they were blinking in sync, too. Probably even breathing in sync.

She shuddered. “Okay, that is creepy.”

She then twisted her head towards Daehyun who was still on their side of the table. He, unlike Yonghwa and Jonghyun, sat up straight, posture perfected. Hands clasped together. His lips were pressed together tightly, and there was a far-away look to his eyes.

“He’s not, though,” Lilian noted.

Chunji chuckled, then glanced at Daehyun himself. “Yes,” he said. “He seems… more human. But only by a teensy tiny bit.”

Lilian managed a small smile. “Maybe they are all statues,” she said offhandedly. “Perhaps Mr. Narcissist created them by hand, detail for detail.” She sighed. “Anyway I’m going to get some air.”

Chunji nodded. “Want me to come with—?”

Lilian looked torn. Usually she’d be more than happy to let him assist her, but tonight, she found she wanted to be alone. This didn’t happen very often. She loved his company, and in fact, hated the thought of leaving him alone with these fools. Usually she was up for discussion, and had a brighter mood than current. Today was much different than usual, and she didn’t think it was fair to make her best friend worry nor did she want upset him or throw off his naturally cheerful state with her less than stellar mood. “I, uh…”

Chunji completely understood, however. “It’s okay if you don’t, I’m tired anyway so…” At least if he were sleeping, he'd be away from them, too.

Lilian sent him a grateful smile. Genuine this time.

 

After quietly excusing herself, Lilian swiftly made her way out of the dining hall and straight out of the Palace’s front door. Her steps were sharp and hasty and she didn’t even know where it was she was intending to go to, but paid little to no attention to this as she allowed her feet to lead her to wherever.

The cool air was oddly comforting in a way Lilian wasn’t used to experiencing. She didn’t really care much when the weather would decide to abruptly change state—whether it’d go from wind to rain, sleet to snow, to whatever; when outside, the weather wasn't what she usually focused her attention. She was the same in the Palace, every so often appliances in the Palace were to be moved from one end to another, but Lilian wouldn't notice nor even care, until her freakishly hawk eyed and observant best friend—pointed it out to her. 

It did surprise her slightly how she'd been so willing to lean against the side of the Palace’s wall and watch as the breeze slowly but steadily thrashed against the select few leaves still attached to the nearby trees and simply watch them fall to the ground, making no attempt to move from her spot.

Her mind was elsewhere, however, and she soon realized that standing there doing nothing wasn’t helping her mental state much at all, so decided to get up and wander around once more, not once bothering to care-–or question—where she was going to end up. 

Not long after, she found herself standing in front of a tall painted gate. It was wooden, much like the rest of the structure, and as much as she wanted to think there was something else to it, there wasn’t. What the interior looked like reflected clearly on the state of the exterior. It was just a stable. A stable that was way out of view of the Palace, possibly the only building or structure situated in the whole of the Palace that hadn’t been fixed and polished to its finest detail. It was way out of the public’s eye—so by the Palace’s logic wouldn’t ever have anything to do with their watchful gazes—and was just made to keep horses. To give them a place to sleep.  

In Lilian’s family’s point of view, as they'd asserted time and time again to her, there was absolutely no logical reason to fancy it up and make it presentable if no one of importance was ever going to see it. Just so long as it wasn’t falling apart at the seams and did its job, things were acceptable.

Lilian knew there was a lot more to the stable, and for some, said stable happened to be the only place in the whole of the universe that they’d ever be able to call home.

Still feeling strangely in tune of her surroundings and even her mannerisms, she knocked twice. There was no answer, so she pushed open the gate and entered the stable herself.

“Jongup?” She asked, walking into the stable and glancing around. There were three horses in her direct line of vision and they were all sleeping soundly. Besides them lay another sleeping figure, except that this one wasn’t a horse. It was a human.

Lilian laughed quietly to herself. There was something about Jongup that would never fail to brighten up her spirits. “Jongup?” She crouched down towards the sleeping boy before she gently nudged his shoulder. “Jongup, are you sleeping?” She almost laughed at the question she’d just asked as she replayed it in her head.  _Of course he's sleeping_ , she berated herself with a snort. He was probably  _beyond_  exhausted.

She nudged Jongup once again, a little harder than the last time. Part of her was overridden with guilt as she did this— remembering that Jongup always did more than he was expected, constantly overworked himself and was probably beyond the point of exhaustion. He needed nothing more than a good night’s rest but at the same time, Lilian reminded herself that his sleeping on the cold hard ground in an awkward and clearly uncomfortable position was only worsening his health, not helping restore it.

 _"Wha--?"_  There was a loud gasp, which was then followed by a long yawn as Jongup stretched his body and shot upwards into a sitting position. “Who—? Oh!” He gasped once more, jumping onto his feet. “P-princess!”

Lilian only smiled, which somehow resulted in Jongup shuffling into a panicked bordering on frenzied state of being.

“I—I,” he stuttered. “I was…" Features paling. "P-princess I’m sorry I—" He straightened up before his eyes widened as the fact that he hadn’t bowed in the Princesses’ presence dawned on him. He quickly did so.

Lilian quirked her eyebrow. “You were sleeping?” She crossed her arms over her chest and decided play the affronted princess card, the one she used to use regularly on Chunji to scare him, when they were just beginning their friendship all those years ago. “I’m not paying you to sleep on the job, Jongup.” She wasn't even the one paying him at all, so it wasn't something she could justly pull against him. She hoped one day he'd call her out on something like that, her or her family. He was so mild mannered, willing to take the blame regardless of his involvement. It was something she was curious of, observing he'd developed a stutter over time that he didn't have in his earlier days of employment. Was it due to the Guards' own treatment when training him, was it her own family?

They weren't the kindest to Jongup.  

Jongup’s eyes widened for a fraction of a second but he quickly composed himself and stood up straighter. He wasn’t looking Lilian directly in the eyes but was trying very hard not to avoid her eyes entirely either, Royals didn't always like that. Placing his hand on his neck in a slightly awkward manner, he let out a nervous laugh. “I,” he bit his lip. He’d become quite close to the Princess on the occasions they’d spoken and had never witnessed her acting the way that she currently was. Was he supposed to be personal—or professional? Seeing no other option, he mixed them together. “I, um, I’ve been working hard all morning and barely had any sleep last night—because the horses were causing a r-ruckus. I had no chance to eat b-because the b-ball and I couldn’t intrude because,” he paused. “I’m  _me._ Everyone forgets I’m here the vast majority of the time and—I’m sorry, P-princess—I’m getting carried away. Not that any of this will excuse my behavior in this situation. I’ll work harder and I promise this won’t happen again.” He lowered his head ashamedly.

Lilian’s eyes had saddened by the time he’d finished. She realized that no matter how difficult she found things, Jongup always had it  _that_ much worse. But regardless, Jongup persisted on with a smile. He was so hard working and no matter how difficult things became, didn’t give up. She felt guilty. Maybe playing the affronted Princess card wasn’t the best option for her when she didn’t know what else to do, and definitely not to indicate playfulness. Both Jongup and Chunji were from different classes than herself and were in Palace residence out of employment, not birthright. She held power over them, over their living space, their jobs. Offending her could very well end with them losing their jobs, and it wasn't nice of her to use that as a scare tactic, playfully or not. She needed a new tactic, she'd realized.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, she said:  “It’s me who should be apologizing. I was only teasing you, Jongup. You need as much rest as you can get, so feel free. I promise I won’t tell anyone.”

Jongup’s head snapped up towards Lilian’s face. He then noticed that the playful glint that usually sparkled in her eyes was missing. For some reason that made Jongup feel sad. He didn’t have many friends and barely knew anyone by first name basis in the Palace, but he was well acquainted with Lilian and she’d only ever been welcoming and warm towards him. She was mostly happy and funny,  at least when he'd seen her, and he soon realized he’d never seen her sad, or without that same sparkle to her. “Are you… are you okay?” He asked cautiously. He wasn’t too good at consoling people and he wasn’t very good at talking to begin with, but Lilian was his friend. And friends did that, didn’t they? Cheered each other up and consoled when consoling needed to take place. So even if he didn’t know how, or if it was eloquent enough for the Princess, he promised to at least try.

Lilian’s eyes widened. Was her bad mood that obvious to people? “I,” she sighed, deciding not to deny it. “No, Jongup I’m not. Not currently. Probably not for a while.”

His eyes saddened. “I can kind of tell, P-Princess? Also I’m sorry that I’m not.” He looked down at the ground. “—Good at consoling people. I wish I knew what to say in these situations?—But I, uh, I really don’t.” More and more Jongup was hoping to incorporate richer sounding words into his vocabulary, like he'd heard from other Palace inhabitants. His upbringing had been much different, most of the time he felt very lacking in comparison. It took him some time to formulate his sentences and his stutter didn't make it sound any better in his opinion, whether the words were rich or not -- so ended up believing it was better if he didn't speak at all. Or at least put off speaking until he was spoken to. 

Lilian managed a smile. “Yes,” she said, and the richness of her tone when saying one word in comparison to Jongup's own sentences left him feeling something of a frustration at himself. “Sometimes I forget you’re not Chunji. That you’re not going to interrogate me on how I’m feeling, or catch on to every hint I – ever – make. Even when I don’t want you to.”

Jongup’s smile faltered. “I’m sorry, Princess. I wish I knew how to help… I,” he stopped, and lowered his head, sighing. Evidently lacking as a friend too, it seemed. “I’m sorry.”

“Oh, no, no,” Lilian assured, waving her hand at him. “I don’t mean it’s a fault, Jongup. Believe me, if anything, I like it.”

He lifted his head up to meet her eyes. “Y-you do?” Surprise coated every aspect of his being. For as long as he'd been there, the Princess had consistently been so kind to him. Gentle, patient and reassuring. She never raised her voice at him, never made him feel unworthy, at least not intentionally. Not that his opinion mattered in such matters or even at all, but she was easily the kindest of the Royals in his experience. 

“Yes,” Lilian said truthfully. “It’s nice to have a friend who listens more than they talk, you know? Someone who doesn’t point fingers and won’t tell me I’m wrong for feeling a certain way—even if they can’t relate at all and do think I’m wrong.” She chuckled. “Which I’m not saying Chunji does but sometimes he’s a little too… forward with the whole talking deal and it gets a little overwhelming."

Jongup nodded his head, sending a small smile Lilian’s way. “T-thank you,” he said a little nervously. He then took a deep breath. “So,” he trailed off unsurely. “D-do you… do you want to talk about it, whatever is happening?”

Lilian smiled. “More than anything, no. But for some reason I feel like I have to—no, _need to _,_  _you know? I understand if you don’t want me to, however. It's your rest time, of course. I am the one intruding. I’ll leave if you need to rest some more or—”

“No, no,” Jongup said quickly. “I want to… I want to help, Princess. Even if I’m not so great with these things... endeavors." He cringed at how awkwardly it sounded. "So it’s fine with me, I think-- _believe.”_

Lilian smiled, happy that someone like Jongup existed in the world. Sometimes she felt like he was the definition of innocence. Genuine, untainted by the evils in the world, he encapsulated a truly endearing level of innocence, so effortlessly. Deciding talking about it was better than bottling it up inside and leaving it to fester, she agreed. “I’m angry and confused and upset, mainly. I don’t know what’s happening or why it has to be me,” she took a deep breath before realizing that one sentence wasn’t enough.

She soon started to sprout a bunch of sentences together before she even had time to process them. “Everyone’s always saying how great it must be to be a Princess and live in a Palace but they don’t know the true extent of what takes place, Jongup. They don’t know anything about it, really. They don’t know how much I’m lacking in freedom or independence or how I have my days, weeks, months and years planned minute for minute and how I’m not allowed to leave the gates because—god I don’t even know why, any more!They don’t know what it’s like to wake up every damn day and realize that no matter what you do you’re never going to be able to escape, you know? They don’t realize that you’re being forced into a relationship—a marriage—with someone you don’t even know, simply because your elders think it would solve future disputes, carry on this idealized Royal bloodline for generations to come. Regardless of personality, regardless of chemistry. Someone you know you’re never going to be in love with. Not because you won't try," she crinkled her nose. "I _guess_. But because it's an area you're sure can't be forced. It's bad enough that my entire life, hobbies, mannerisms, favorite foods, are all chosen out for me. But being forced to marry someone like Jungshin... I don't know. I can’t do it, Jongup. Not any more. I've known for a long time that it’s not my life, it’s not my scene. Maybe I sound spoiled, ungrateful, but at the heart of it, I'm tired of keeping up false pretenses because I've been disallowed to know of anything -- anywhere -- else. I want to experience life in a way I'm unable to here. I want to know there's more than just this out there. I want more, I want my existence to mean more. Even if only for a short while.” 

Jongup nodded his head, he was very hesitant with his body language but believed her was supposed to comfort her—perhaps with a hug? He hesitated because he wasn’t sure if Lilian would be okay with that and instead said, “I-I wish there was something I could do to help,” Then after a sad sigh, edged closer. “I don’t like seeing you sad.”

Lilian lowered her eyes to the palm of her hands. “You’re so nice, Jongup. Please don’t ever lose how genuine you are—please? No matter what anyone says to bring you down just remember that it’s something that sets you miles ahead of everyone else, and it’s such an admirable trait to possess in this day and age, okay?” She reached over and patted his hand, before sending him a sad smile.  

Jongup only smiled. “I’ll try my best,” he said with a quick nod.

“So,” Lilian then said. “I think I’ve done enough ranting about me now. Maybe we should talk about you?”

“M-me?” Jongup stuttered.

“Yes.” Lilian giggled. “About you. How are you coping?”

Jongup glanced around nervously. “H-how am I coping? With what?”

“Life at the Palace, working, I don’t know—with everything?”

He was silent for a few minutes as he processed his answer. “Good, I-I guess.”

“Good?” Lilian asked, focusing her attention fully on Jongup. “Are you sure?”

Jongup raised a slightly startled eyebrow. “I… think so?” He answered a little unsurely. “Is there a reason that… that I shouldn’t be?”

Lilian puffed out a breath. “I guess not. But also, I think there kind of is.” She bit the inside of her cheek, a little angered. “No there definitely is. I don’t think the Palace treats you right, Jongup. I don’t think they realize how valuable a person you are here and how different things would be without you. You do so much and they walk all over you because they know you’ll let them! They think you’re disposable and it just... bothers me.Truthfully."

Jongup was taken aback at this. He’d never thought of it that way. But he wasn’t a very self-confident person in general and had always convinced himself that no matter how good at something he happened to be or had the potential to become, someone out there was always – and always would be – miles ahead, and miles, miles better. He paused, thinking over his words. “I never thought of it that way, Princess.”

Lilian’s eyes widened. “You didn’t?” She asked, surprised. “You don’t think they’re abusing you, using you? Forcing you to take on more hours than should be allowed, take on more roles than should be allowed for one person? You're okay with them acting like you're disposable when thus far you've proved to be anything but..." Her eyebrows furrowed. “Really?”

Jongup looked down at his hands. “No,” he said softly. “I never saw it that way, Princess. Besides, they’re right. I am disposable. I… I’m not anything special. I never have been and… well, I never will be. I am here to work, they have me working. They can replace me if worst comes to worse and ultimately it'd be no loss to anyone.” He cast a sad glance at the horses. "Even the horses."

Lilian’s eyes saddened. "No Jongup," she whispered. "You're wrong."

“I—" He glanced at the Princess curiously. Was he? “I, um, well—the Palace is keeping a roof over my head in return for my labor and I, think that’s a—a good deal. Better than anything I could receive elsewhere.”

Lilian snorted. “Aside from the fact that you’re living in a stable with horses, right? Whilst everyone else is situated inside?”

Jongup lowered his eyes. “B-but they feed me every day.”

“Not half as much as you need to make up for the amount of hours you work!”

“But I—"

“No, Jongup. They’re walking all over you—how could you defend them in this instance, regardless of whether it's my family or not? It’s unfair and it needs to stop. I've been trying to get it to stop for so long but--” She bit her cheek in frustration. "To no avail."  

He played with his hands nervously. “I guess—I just—they introduced me to the horses, Princess. A-and for the longest time the horses have been my only friends.” He wanted to add that he'd like to consider her a friend too, but didn't want to overstep any boundaries. He was a measly stable boy, she was a Princess. Why would a Princess want to befriend someone as low in status as he? So he stopped himself. Kept it as an internal thought.  

“I don’t care. They walk all over you and treat you like the dirt on the sole of their shoe, Jongup!" She crinkled her nose. "Not that they'd let dirt onto the sole of their shoe, but nonetheless. You’re worth so much more than what they’ve led you to believe. You’re better than most of them combined and you’re a million times more genuine. You could be so much more, Jongup? Don’t you see that?”

“Princess—“

“You know what Jongup? I want out. Truly, I want out.” She jumped onto her feet. “I want out of this place; I want to be done with this life. I don’t care what it takes, or who is in my way. I’m willing to run away if I have to, if that’s what it takes. I just realized how much I’ve let them dictate and direct my life without so much as batting an eyelid. I didn’t stand up for myself once and that’s why this stupid arranged marriage is going to take place. I don’t _have_ to do what they expect of me and I don’t have to sit here and take their–-their  _shit_ any longer. Not without a fight, anyway.” 

“Princess—”

“Jongup, please. Hear me out. I need to go. I need—I need to be free. I need to get out of here. Even if only for a while, until this stupid arranged marriage thing brews over. Until they replace me with someone else for his fiancée.” She grabbed his hands and pulled him up with her, a twinkle to her eye. “You should come too, if you'd like of course. We could run away and never look back—Chunji too. It’d be so easy and so quick and quiet that no one would even notice. Jongup, we honestly should. It's the most opportune time, I swear it.”

Jongup was so bewildered, so taken aback, so confused. He had no idea where all of this came from but daren’t even ask. “Princess… please excuse my asking but… where would we go?”

“Who even cares. As long as we’re far away from here—that’s all that matters.” She'd been cooped up in the Palace so long, anywhere sounded better. Anywhere would be better, wouldn't it? 

Her mood was somehow brightened and she turned and sent a blinding smile in Jongup’s direction. “I feel so much better getting these thoughts out of me. I feel so… alive. So hopeful, like if I set my mind to it I could do anything. Go anywhere. Be anyone.”

Jongup meekly nodded his head and chuckled nervously. “Of course, Princess.”

“It's Lilian," she whispered, smiling at him. "Please call me Lilian."


	12. Cinderella

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cE2NANGcUYk

The trek back to the Palace was quick, easy. Lilian’s energy levels had appeared to have spiked, she’d felt the enthusiasm that was usually ever-present, yet not recently, return to her body. 

That same enthusiasm seemed to dim upon realization that Jungshin and company were still in the Palace. Her mother had wanted her to give him and his friends a tour around the Palace, and had probably requested that she slot it into her schedule in their earlier conversation before the dinner; reminding her to be polite and welcoming, ‘just like a Princess should be’. 

However Lilian couldn't exactly recall for certain, knowing she was sure to have zoned out and stopped paying attention somewhere along the lines in their conversation, as etiquette lessons for Princesses and reminders of how she should be polite and lovely to everyone bored her to tears.

Princess or not, Lilian wasn’t a believer in being nice and polite to everyone, because as far as she was concerned, not everyone deserved it. Some people really weren’t so great, and had done nothing to prove that she should treat them in a polite, civilized manner. She definitely wasn’t the kind of person who would sit back and allow people to walk all over her, to step on her, or to treat her as though she wasn’t as capable as they were at something, if she were. At heart, anyway. She didn't have much chance to showcase this side of herself to those around her, given her title and living conditions.  

But if Jungshin was going to be an arrogant elitist pompous to everyone he deemed lower than himself, why should she be expected regard him with smiles and friendliness? Just because she was a Princess? And he was a Prince? Neither had ever done anything to warrant otherworldly levels of respect and admiration, except be born into a Royal bloodline, which seemed to pale in comparison.

She may have been Royal, but she didn't revere herself as a god. Not that she could claim the same for Jungshin.

“You reap what you sow, right?” She mumbled to herself. "Granted I'm willing to deal with the consequences, some time away should be a good thing." She’d long come to terms with the fact that she wasn’t set out for this Princess life, and frankly, she’d realized she’d stopped trying to fit into a role she could care less about a long, long time ago. She'd started to believe it had come into fruition when she told she wasn't allowed a dog simply because she was a Princess, hoping she'd eventually end up with a dog in her care. When she thought about, truly, she'd realized that besides experiencing an adventure, there was nothing she wanted more. 

After her conversation with Jongup, had realized she felt a lot less guilty than what she previously anticipated she would. Perhaps actually discussing her thoughts with someone else had helped her realize that they weren’t so crazy after all. On top of that,  it wasn’t as though she was the only Princess or Royal left in the Palace. And besides, her role at the Palace wasn’t even the most important, so realistically, if she left it wouldn’t matter that much in the grand scale, would it?

Not only that, she didn’t know how long she was going to be gone. She just wanted a taste of the outside world, she wanted an adventure. She wanted to see what was out there, rather than be confined to a too extravagant Palace, constantly stuck inside of a much too extravagant bedroom, dining room and garden. That was really the only three places she ever visited in the Palace, for starters.

Also, no one had explained anything. No one had told her  _why_   -- in specifics -- she was in an arranged marriage with Prince Jungshin, nor had they told her the benefits she or even the Palace would reap from the marriage. Even if it was just for status and power, they could’ve come right out and said so, no? She wouldn’t have been offended. She already knew how corrupt things were behind the scenes and as well as that, she disliked being kept in the dark about things.  

However, knowing or not knowing the reasons as to why the arranged marriage was taking place didn’t mean she had to agree. Perhaps it would work in her favor. If the Palace and the rest of her family believed she was gladly going through with the procedure and had no objections in marrying the Prince they wouldn’t be expecting her to do anything rash, would they? If no supposed I-won’t-do-it ‘tantrums’ – as her family would call them – hadn’t taken place, no one would suspect a thing. They wouldn’t even dream that she’d really take off in the middle of the night, and would have no way of knowing if thus far she’d never said anything about it, nor hinted towards its direction. No Guards would be alerted, no search parties sent out to whisk her back and tell her off—at least not until they realized she’d gone.

Which was when she realized, with great dismay, that she had to go alone. If it was only Lilian that left the premises, or “disappeared” and Chunji was still there on Palace grounds, that meant in the case that the Palace found out the next day and questioned him knowing the two were close friends… and he didn’t have any idea as to where the Princess wondered off to, he’d be safe. Or as safe as he could be in such a situation. Chunji was a bad liar and Lilian knew this. So if he had no idea where she was going, no idea that she was _,_ in fact, going, there’d be nothing to lie about.

A few questions here and there were better than convincing him to go with her, and much better than the heightened risk of alerting Guards and being questioned or sent back. Being sent back would thwart everything she’d worked so hard for, and she knew if that happened the Guards would be keeping a watchful, looming eye constantly on both Chunji and herself, perhaps even stop them interacting altogether.

What was worse was that if they did hypothetically get out of the Palace together, escape past the gates… and then have the Guards or Palace inhabitants realize that they’d gone—the both of them— much sooner than anticipated... they’d then have search warrants sent out to find them, and once they did find them, would forcefully pull them back to the Palace and find a way to hold Chunji for treason, lock him away for years with possible exile—which could also impact on his father.  Or in the worst case scenario, end in a death penalty, which if they found a way, could also include his father, too.

Lilian wasn’t going to set herself up for something like that. And as much as she hated the thought of going alone and would’ve loved to have her best friend with her, it wasn’t worth the risk of getting him killed over.

If she went alone, and the Palace Guards noticed, then they could report it as a disappearance. They could alert the village. Everyone would be free to have as many meltdowns and meetings as they saw fit, as it would help buy her even more time to sneak away. Obviously the path through the village wouldn’t be very safe if they realized she was no longer at the palace sooner than she’d been anticipating, and that was why she had a backup route.  

Which was simply to slip away onto the outskirts.

The path she was not supposed to tread down.

Which as dangerous as it supposedly was, sounded like an adventure.

And an adventure was what she’d be setting out for.  

But knowing how observant and sensitive her best friend was, she decided she’d have to upset Chunji tonight, to stop him from catching on. And she’d have to hit where it hurt, to the point where he wouldn’t want to see her for the rest of the night, or perhaps even week…

Or year.

...Or life.

 

Just as Lilian had been falling asleep she could’ve sworn she’d heard someone tiptoe into her room, stay for about a minute and then tiptoe back out, quietly closing the door behind them. She was going to get up and investigate, but had decided against it, believing it to be all but her imagination—she was seconds away from drifting off into a deep slumber to begin with, so it wasn’t that crazy for her to imagine something of the sort.

Besides, she’d decided, even if someone did stop by for that measly minute it wasn’t as though they were going to kill her.

She knew all of the staff and workers in the Palace and they were nothing if not trustworthy.

If it was Chunji, he would’ve clearly said something.

Perhaps, if anyone, it was probably her mother. Her mother had such a gentle nurturing presence, and that translated through her body language also. It had been a long time since her mother had visited her in the night time to check on her, but she could faintly remember the days where her mother would gently tuck her into bed and stay with her until she was sound asleep every single night.

Her mother was extremely preoccupied as of late—with wedding arrangements and such—and therefore had no time. Though she wouldn’t admit it aloud, Lilian did miss those days.

When she had forced her tangled limbs into a straighter position and sat up, she trudged out of the warmth of her bed. Lilian walked over to her wardrobe to get herself some clothes to change into and her eyes then narrowed at the sight that lay before her eyes. Of course it hadn’t been a dream.

And of course it hadn’t been her mother.  
  
She wanted to curse herself for her naïve thinking, and her eyes burned with a fury at the sight that lay before her eyes. Sitting neatly on her dressing table. Flashy and over exaggerated, just like he was.

Twelve red roses. 

Twelve huge red roses wrapped in the biggest bow she’d ever seen, the most unnecessary at that, too.

In her anger she was just about to grab the bouquet of roses and throw them into the trash when something in her peripheral vision caught her eye.

A note.

She scoffed, making her way over. Grudgingly, she leaned down slightly and scooped the note into her hands. She then began to read it aloud, and wanted to claw her eyes out even more than when she’d realized who’d sent them. And the fact that he’d been inside of her room without her permission. At least she didn’t know that for certain so could easily convince herself he hadn’t and that her mother had either brought the flowers in or had one of the maids do it. But the possibility still remained… and it made her even angrier.

 _“To my beautiful Princess Lilly,_  
_I cannot wait until you are mine. I presume you cannot either, as you have sense. Belonging to one such as myself is possibly the greatest honor a woman of your status could ever acquire. Congratulations on impressing me, a feat no woman has ever done before. I am sure you will make just as much a wonderful mother as you will wife.”_  
_~Jungshin_  
  
_PS:_  
_Enjoy the roses, which I’m sure you will._  
_Every woman does.”_

“‘Every woman does’,” she quoted, snorting. “I couldn’t care less about flowers you conceited jackass.” She then threw the bouquet of roses onto her bed, exhaling a sharp sigh. "Not that you'd care. Not that I'd care that you didn't care. Because I don't care, I don't care if this entire arrangement goes up in flames, preferably it will, because otherwise it's going to end in bloodshed. And it damn well won't be mine."

Deciding they were doing nothing but taint her bed—which had become her favorite place as of late, she hastily flung them off and let out a constricted sound that was somewhere between a growl and a scream.  Diving onto her bed, she grabbed her pillow and buried her head into it. This time really letting out a scream. Or possibly a shriek. She didn’t really care what it sounded like, she just had to get it out of her system.

What had been dislike yesterday had morphed into literal hatred.

 

Her whole day had been ruined by those goddamn flowers. She skipped breakfast because she knew she’d probably end up biting the head off of the unlucky person who’d have the misfortune of sitting beside of her in this current state of mind.

The rest of her daily routine felt forced and way too routine like, which was nothing new to begin with but it was extra infuriating today.

The rest of the day she spent cooped up in her bedroom pacing back and forth. She didn’t understand the full extent of why the roses were bothering her so much, had it been any other day, sure she’d be a little peeved but it wouldn’t be enough to ruin her whole morning. Ever since waking up she’d realized she’d been on edge. Erratic even. She couldn’t pin point the reason why but she knew it wasn’t down to lack of sleep, she slept wonderfully last night.

Perhaps it was the fact that she had to purposely cause an argument with her best friend of many years. 

The one she’d turn to when it felt like the rest of the word had abandoned her. 

The one who’d skip out on sleep of his own even when extremely tired just to make sure that she got hers.

The one who consistently stood up for her and defended her, knowing how much trouble that could get him in.

The one who’d done nothing wrong but also the same one she had to hurt verbally, because otherwise could result in his death.  
  
Of course she wanted to take him with her, of course she didn’t want to argue with him when he’d done nothing wrong, but she had to.

She had to buy herself time. She’d needed to upset Chunji to the point where he wouldn’t be able to look at her otherwise he’d catch on and either try and go with her—which could back fire and result in his death—or try and convince her not to go through with it.

Which wasn’t happening.  
  
She couldn’t take this life any more.

It was selfish and she knew it, but Chunji would eventually understand, wouldn’t he?  
  
He knew how much she hated Palace life.

And besides him potentially forever falling out with her and them ending on a bad note, it was much better outcome than him dying because they’d messed up with the execution of their plan and got caught by Guards.

If such an instance took place, she’d be let off and she knew it. They’d turn it all around on Chunji and make him seem like the bad guy. The one that influenced her. She wasn’t up for that and Chunji—of all people—did not deserve that.

So she wasn’t going to risk it. No matter how much she genuinely did care about her best friend and their friendship.

A knock at her bedroom door swiftly pulled her out of her thoughts.  
  
She let out a low grunt. “Come in,” she said.

“What?” She then snapped, not even bothering to glance up and see who had come to see her. Knowing the possibility that it could’ve been Jungshin she would’ve lunged forward and wrung his neck in her hands, so she decided it was for the better. 

But Jungshin should’ve left by this time, should he not? Then again, she reasoned, even if she didn’t know for sure it was him there was the possibility that he’d had the audacity to walk into her room whilst she was sleeping, which regardless of the roses or not, was disgruntling--and creepy.

Did the guy not have any boundaries at all?

She shuddered at the reminder of the fact that he thought she was his property, that humans could be considered property. Wan't that answer enough for how awful a king he'd make?  

“Sheesh,” that all too lilting voice muttered. Speak of the devil and he shall appear. “If that’s how you treat your best friend…” As Lilian finally looked up and met the eyes of her sandy haired best friend, a faux hurt looked passed over the features of the boy. It soon dissipated and a grin took its place. Bouncing over with enthusiasm, he sat down on the bottom edge of her bed. “Hi,” he said.

She was worried. Going over the best possible ways to breech the subject in her head, she finally decided she’d start small. “Look Chunji—” She began. “As much as I appreciate you coming here I haven’t had the best of days and I’m honestly not in the mood. If you’re here to tease me or whatever then please—”

“No.” Chunji shook his head, grinning. “I came prepared.”

Lilian quirked an intrigued eyebrow.

Chunji’s eyes sparkled. “I noticed you didn’t come down for food, so I brought snacks,” he said as he placed bag after bag of snacks on her bed and grinned gleefully. There were at least three of her favorite treats there, too. “Enjoy.”

Lilian suppressed a groan at his thoughtfulness, how was she going to will herself to do this?

 

It had been a few minutes and she was still figuring out the way in which she’d have to upset Chunji.

Chunji was happily chatting along, not paying much mind to her lack of response. Usually it’d be the first thing he’d notice and point out, but this time, he seemed so preoccupied with whatever it was he’d been saying to notice.

She then remembered an instance that happened the night before, just before she visited Jongup in the stables, which would be awful to incorporate, but effective. 

_She’d left the dining room in a haste and quickly made her way out of the door after her small talk with her best friend, Chunji. Chunji had let her go alone, realizing she needed it._

_She gazed at her surrounding scenery for some time before embarking on a small journey to wherever it was her feet wanted to lead her. On her way, she bumped into something—or someone—and let out an audible gasp. She turned around and nearly screamed at the sight of the familiar stranger standing before her. “Ahh,” she said, placing a hand on her heart. “You scared me!”_

_The boy laughed softly. “I do apologize, your highness.”_

_Her eyebrows furrowed. “‘Your highness?”_

_“You are a Princess, after all.”_

_“Yes, of course,” she muttered. “But you don’t have to call me ‘your highness’. Anyway I saw you earlier, you’re with Jungshin aren’t you? What are you doing out here—doesn’t he need people to attend to his constant need for attention twenty-four-seven?”_

_He smiled this time, as a small chuckle left his lips. “You are interesting,” he said. “I have never seen anyone so blatantly speak ill of Jungshin. It is quite refreshing, actually.”_

_“Really?” Lilian crinkled her nose. “No one at all? People really just sit back and do whatever he wants all the time, then praise him for it, regardless of how belitting he is to them? I don't even think that kind of thing would sit well in our kingdom, honestly.”_

_The boy nodded his head solemnly. “I wish I could say otherwise, that someone has the gall to stand up against him, but it is not true. I also wish I had something to defend his behavior with, perhaps that he just seems shallow and overbearing at first meeting and then shows his real self gradually? Or even that there is a reason why he is this way, but honestly?” He chuckled. “For as long as I have been here I have not stumbled upon one. He acts the way you witnessed all the time. That is his real self, or so it irrefutably seems.”_

_Lilian groaned. “No offense if you're warmed to him but I... think I hate the guy.”_

_"It is understandable. Though I will withhold judgement, I am not going to tell you that you are wrong. Especially with what he said to your friend last night.”_

_Lilian’s eyebrows furrowed. The confusion was clear in her eyes._

_The boy’s eyes also widened. “You did not know?” He ran his hand through his hair a little uncomfortably. “I suppose I must inform you?”_

_Lilian nodded expectantly._

_“Your friend—Chunji?” Lilian nodded as an affirmation, letting him know he got the right name. “He arrived at the dinner table before you. He began to talk about you to Jungshin, speaking in such a welcoming  manner, polite. It was not long before Jungshin imposed a will upon Chunji -- one claiming you two would cease to be friends after the wedding -- he then tried to make Chunji refer to you as Princess as opposed to Lilian.  Chunji denied it, claiming that you told him to refer to you by your name not as your title.”  Lilian chuckled at this. Of course. Regardless of the Princess nickname he’d donned for her, when serious, he stood by what she wanted._

_"Jungshin clearly did not like this and starting sprouting further threats of how once you two marry, Chunji would never be allowed to be around you again. He began to take hits at Chunji’s class and the fact that his father was poor. Chunji informed him that the official Chef of your Palace was in fact his father and that they would been eating his father’s food for their dinner.  So one of the others brought up Chunji’s dead mother, in such giving Jungshin more bait. He said something along the lines of how it must be awful to be Chunji and be the “peasant son of a peasant baker” and as I quote “wench of a mother” hopping onto the supposedly preposterous conclusion that his mother died because of the price of infidelity—Chunji confirming that she had died after giving birth to him._ _The others had by now decided that Jungshin had gone a too far and that it had stopped being funny some time ago—but Jungshin was not yet done.  He went on to say that Chunji’s lack of maternal figure was obvious and showed and that he had an evident lack of manners. Jungshin went too far—as it appears he always does.”_

_Lilian’s eyes were blazing in fury by the time the familiar stranger—whose name she realized she hadn’t got as of yet—finished. “What a despicable human being—!”_

_They continued to talk for a while longer but the fury wasn’t leaving her. Soon enough the familiar stranger decided it’d be wise for him to head back inside, he smiled at her politely, excusing himself._

_“Wait—!” She called out to his retreating back. “Before you go, what’s your name?”_

_“Daehyun,” came the instant reply._

_“And if you don’t mind me asking, what do you have to do with Jungshin?”_

_“Ah.” He turned around, smiling. “Like Chunji I suppose I work at the Palace for a living. Myself and my two friends were struggling and as the eldest I decided I needed to get a job.”_

_Lilian smiled, interested. “Two friends?”_

_“A boy and a girl. We live in the village. Or currently only they do. I used to, too, but then I was offered a job in the Palace of Jungshin and the pay is very high and it provides us enough to survive, so realistically speaking, I had to take it. Even if it means being around Jungshin too often and having to sit back and hold my tongue throughout his tirades.” He chuckled. “I will not tell you their names as I am certain you will not know them. It was nice meeting you, however. Take care!”_

_“You too,” she said. “It was nice meeting you, too.”_

_He smiled before he skipped away._

 

Perhaps the reason why she woke up so angry was because she may have remembered it at some point throughout the night or the seconds after she’d awoken.

Maybe finding out what Jungshin had said was the thing that fuelled her initial anger.  But now to hurt her best friend to the extent he needed to not want to see her for some time she had to use it to her advantage and of course she was brimming with guilt and shame.

But once again she had to remind herself that a hurt Chunji was miles better than a dead Chunji. And that urged her to go through with it. But she had to start off small.

“I hate Jungshin,” she said suddenly. It wasn’t a lie. “I really do.”

Chunji glanced up at his best friend and frowned, noticing the genuine upset and anxiousness lying in her facial expression. “Shh,” he said. He walked over and wrapped his arms around Lilian’s small frame. “It's going to be okay. I promise.”

She then sniffled, which she also wasn’t faking. She didn’t know if it was the guilt and the hurt about having to hurt the person who’d only ever been genuinely good to her from the very beginning mixing with the stress and the anger of having to marry a complete pompous, but it was something. And they were real tears. “I don’t want this, Chunji.” A tear made its way down her cheek. “I don’t want to get married to this guy. Why do I have to? He’s horrible.”

“Shh,” he cooed, rubbing her back softly. “Everything’s going to be okay. I promised to do everything I could to help out, right? It might be tough right now and your mother might be too set on it but we’ll find a way to get you out of it, okay? I promise.”

She tried to hold back her tears but his words were just making the guilt increase tenfold. Her best friend was too good to be true. “I’m so awful,” she sobbed, clinging onto his shirt. “So, so awful.”

“What?” Her best friend rasped in disbelief. “What brought this on? No you’re not. Not in the slightest.”

She couldn’t tell him. She wanted to tell him so badly. Instead of going into it, she quickly changed the topic. “I don’t cry Chunji,” she said, sniffling. “That’s how bad this is.”

“I know, Lilly. I know.”

And the  _nicknames_. If she left tonight on a bad note with him she knew she’d never hear them again. And as much as she disliked them, the thought of never hearing them again terrified her.

“Lilian,” she corrected weakly.

He chuckled. “Okay."

She crinkled her nose. “You know I don’t like nicknames.”

“Well I like nicknames.”

“Well, I don’t.”

“But I do.”

“But you shouldn't,” she mumbled, pouting somewhat. "They're embarrassing."

“No, they’re cute.”

“No they’re not.”

“Yes they are.”

“Not.”

“Are.”

“Not.”

“Are!”

“Not!”

“Not,” Chunji tried, hoping to trick Lilian.

Lilian smirked. “Glad we’re agreed. It was nice doing business with you.”

Chunji chuckled. “Still doesn’t change the fact that the nicknames are cute.”

“No they’re not,” Lilian emphasized. Now deciding to up the game a bit more. “I’m the Princess and I get the final say. Nicknames, pet names, they’re all horrible. It's final, it's law.”

“Princess, sweetie, honey.” She reached over to hit him but he expertly dodged the attack. “Dearest, nearest, Lilly—”

“I swear—”

“Princesses aren’t allowed to swear, Princess.”

“You’re so immature!”

“Like you can talk.” He stuck his tongue out at her playfully.

She realized now was her chance. And did it work like a charm. “I can talk, actually,” she adopted a more serious tone. “Like right now. Unlike you, I’ve been trained in etiquette and manners since birth, and how to behave around people politely and right now you’re much more immature than I am.”

She knew Chunji would only hear the first part. Only focus on the first part.

She felt so guilty.  “Right,” he said as his eyes saddened. “I’m just that lowly kitchen peasant right? The peasant son of a peasant baker?”

She forced herself to nod. “Maybe he is right, after all.” Her wince deepened with each word she got out and she couldn’t believe she’d actually said them.  She wanted to take them back, erase them. But she couldn’t, she knew she had to do this.

Chunji’s eyebrows furrowed together. “Who?”

“You know who,” she choked out, trying not to cringe.

“I don’t think I do?”

She gulped and wanted to vomit at the next words that left her mouth. “Jungshin,” she said and even the sound of his name left a bitter taste in her mouth.

“Oh,” Chunji said, sounding confused. “Okay. But what’s he right with?”

 _“You._  He’s right about you.”

Chunji blinked slowly. “I don’t think I understand what you’re trying to say, Lilian—”

“Jungshin was right about you, after all.” She winced, but noted gladly that Chunji didn’t pick up on it. “You are the peasant son of a peasant baker and living without a mother has clearly impacted your manners.” She couldn't meet his eyes.

Chunji froze, processing her sentences. He was lost, completely. Where did this all come from and how did she even know about what Jungshin had said to him?—As far as he could remember he’d never told her about what went down. His chest felt heavy and his shoulders sank. Had his best friend really just said those words to him? Had she really just agreed with the man she claimed to hate with all her being? It was so out of character. It had to be. Lilian would never… “You don’t mean that—” He tried, but the confidence of his voice was dropping with the look on her face.

She smirked at him.  Inside she really wanted to cry and take it all back but he didn’t know that. She reminded herself for the third time that he was better off hurt than dead. “But what if I _do?”_

“No,” Chunji croaked. “Lilian, no.” Nothing was making sense and he even felt a little dizzy. She couldn’t possibly mean that, could she? She was his best friend! Why would she say something like that? Especially after crying in his arms and telling him just how much she hated the guy.

“Yes Chunji,” Lilian said. “Yes.” Her face was impassive and he couldn’t detect an ounce of playfulness behind her words.

“N-no. You can’t mean. I—” He was at a loss of words. “I have manners, don’t I? I—and h-he—how do you even know what he said to me?” He was biting on his lip hard enough to draw blood but he wouldn’t let the tears form. He wouldn’t. He'd never cried in front of her. 

“The reason I know is none of your concern.” She wanted to hit herself but continued, “what matters is the manner in which you addressed a Prince. The way in which way you addressed a Prince as nothing... n-nothing but a kitchen boy.”

“But—?” He was beginning to get angry now. Angry, hurt and confused. “I kept my calm, actually.”

Lilian scoffed. She knew he really did though and she commended him because she knew had she been there she knew she would've lunged at Jungshin and attacked him. “Not around me you didn’t. You stormed up here and scared me half to death! I was actually very frightened.” She actually hadn’t been frightened at all, she’d just been surprised. She felt so pretentious, she sounded so pretentious. Surely Chunji would call her out on it. She was half hoping.

“He insulted my mother—he said—”

“I know what he said. And I don’t like your excuses. What you did was unacceptable.” She gulped, cringing in distaste at herself. “Especially around a Princess.”

Chunji’s mouth fell open. “B-but more than a Princess, you’re my best friend!”

This was her chance. The point of no return. She closed her eyes and exhaled before meeting his eyes and saying in the most serious tone she could muster,  _“so you think.”_

There was a sharp silence. So sharp, one could’ve heard a pin drop and have the sound echo around the room.

“What?”

“Don’t pretend you didn’t hear me.”

“I—” Chunji was finding it hard to think straight. “I—are you? Is this some kind of sick joke? Are you serious? I don’t—I don’t understand.”

Lilian laughed. It was cold, bitter. “I’m facing reality, as should you. It's been a nice run, Chan Hee, this friendship we've experienced. But ultimately a  _Princess_ doesn’t befriend her kitchen boys. Not for the long term.”

His eyes narrowed. “So that’s what this is? You’ve spoken to him once and he’s already brainwashed you? Amazing.”

She feigned ignorance. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. This is how I really feel. This is how I’ve felt since the beginning. You’re always wondering why I’m not so giving with my feelings, right? Why when you’re asking how I'm feeling, I’m more closed off about it and don’t always like discussing them, are you not?—This is why. This has always been why.”

“No,” he said. “You’re lying. You have to be lying—Lilian—”

She could actually feel her own heart break at her next word. “Princess,” she corrected.

Chunji’s mouth fell open. “You’re actually serious?”

Lilian nodded.  _“Deathly.”_

Somewhere along the lines he’d begun pacing up and down in a straight line in her bedroom. Nothing was making sense to him; his skin felt cold, prickly. “You don’t want to be friends any more?” He tried not to let the quiver in his lip show. It wasn’t working. _“Really?”_

She wanted him to fight back. She wanted him to ask her why, knowing she’d spill the real reasons. She knew it was going to be difficult but there and then she felt like sinking into the ground and disappearing for the rest of her life. Maybe there was a way. Maybe he would agree and maybe they’d find a way out of the palace and go on an adventure and not get caught, but she had to think realistically… the fact that the cons far outweighed the pros. “Really,” she finally said.

“Fine,” Chunji replied. He stared into her soul trying to find something. To find something that would indicate that this was all just a really cruel joke… but… nothing. He found nothing. His mind clouded with a thousand different things, twisting together and creating the most confusing mess ever. He didn’t know what he was supposed to do, but he knew he wasn’t sorry for befriending the Princess. “Fine, Princess. If that’s the way it has to be, fine. But I’m not sorry. For anything. I’m not sorry for defending myself when your arrogant husband-to-be accused my mother of infidelity or belittled my father to my face unaware of the fact that he’d be eating the food prepared by the exact same man. I’m not apologizing for them being poor. I’m not apologizing for them actually having to work for a living, for working so hard to bring me into this world and make sure I grew up happy and healthy with shelter above my head. My mother contorted herself to bring me into this world and she worked so hard to make sure I arrived, only to die straight after giving birth to me. My father for literally doing all he could to keep a shelter over our heads. Maybe people with mothers don’t understand where I’m coming from with this, but I don’t have mine any more, and there’s a hole inside of my chest that will never be filled for that exact reason. I’ll never truly get to understand what maternal love is, I’ll never have what people with mothers have. But I’m not going to dwell on that and I’m not going to apologize for defending my mother, my father or myself. For defending you. For befriending you. You were the first Royal to treat me like a human being and in some ways you’re the sole reason that I am the way I am today. That I’m still here and still happy. So I don’t regret our friendship and even if the same can’t be said for you, I won’t apologize.” He let out a shaky breath. “Have a good night, Princess.”

“Close the door on your way out,” Lilian said weakly.

She couldn’t hold the tears back when he closed the door and buried her face into her hands. “What have I done?” She let out a shaky breath. “What have I done?—I’m such an idiot—what have I done?”  She wanted to bash her head against her wardrobe door several times, and run back after the sandy haired boy and beg for forgiveness. To tell him the truth. To take him with her.

But she knew that she couldn’t.  
  
So instead she focused on packing her small carry case and supplying the things she knew she’d need on her little journey.

It was in the middle of the night when she tiptoed into Chunji’s room and whispered a quiet, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean any of it,” to his sleeping form, before turning to her left and exiting.

She left the Palace via her room via her twirled staircase and sneaked around to the front of the Palace before realizing that even though the Palace Guards should have been be on a quick break at that time, they’d still be coming back eventually and she couldn’t risk that. even if it meant taking the longer, darker route around the back. Climbing the fence to the best of her ability, she tried her hardest not make a sound or put a rip in her clothes with the jagged stone edges of the wall. And even if she left the premises with a heavy heart alone without her best friend by her side, she reminded herself that Chunji was better off hurt and alive than dead.

And now that she’d gone by herself, if they did find her, they couldn’t blame anyone but her. 

That’s the way it should’ve been.

Because it was her decision to leave, no one else’s.


	13. Live Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ypQcIU-u8Yk

It had been a known fact that Chunji—the son of the main Chef of the Palace—would be wide awake and out of his bed hours before anyone else would be. There was no specific reason as to why, as he need not be, he had every right and option to sleep in and wait for the Palace maids and workers to come and wake him up.

But he never did.

It seemed as though he’d—with hours of practice—precisely tuned his internal clock to a specific hour, rising at that time every single morning. It’d been that way for years. No one knew of anything different. It had become the norm for Chunji. For his hard working Palace friends.

Just before sunrise, just as the light touched the sky and illuminated surrounding settings, the sounds of rustling and the tinkle of water would be heard, footsteps would sound soon after. Others inhabiting the Palace who also had to be up at such early hours of the morning because of their work would soon be greeted by the smiling face and bright presence of the Chef’s only son.

It was something they’d grown accustomed to, something they’d even become quite fond of. So when it didn’t happen that one cold Wednesday morning, the evident quirks of eyebrows and utterings of sheer confusion from the mouths of the workers were nothing short of expected.

"I wonder where he is?" One of them muttered, as they continued to slice the onions on their chopping board.

A small, stout lady with a seemingly permanent quirk to her eyebrow shrugged her shoulders. She then coughed; the sound rough and haggard, much like her general appearance. "‘Haps he wanted to slee’ in,” her words were slurred and it wasn’t because of excessive alcohol consumption. A few of her teeth were missing, her walk a little crooked, her muscles stiffened… but she wouldn’t sit down to rest. She wouldn’t lay down her job or pass it on to her younger family members, promising to work until the day she passed on. Chunji was particularly fond of her, as brash and blunt as she was, she spoke the truth and kicked those who needed it into shape. Hasun. “Ma’ybe his fathe’ should check o’ him.”

Chunji’s father shook his head, waving his hand in a very nonchalant manner. “Leave him be. He’ll come down when he wants to. Who are we to rush him?”

A younger woman blinked her doe like eyes at Chunji’s father, completely taken by surprise. “Who are we to rush him?” She gasped. “I mean no disrespect sir, but I don’t believe we’re rushing him. It’s just—Chunji seems to have a routine—one that he’s stuck to for years upon years. Why would he change it now?”

His father shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe he felt like a change. A bit of variety. It’s not impossible.”

"You’re right," the doe-eyed woman said. "Still… I think I should at least check…"

Chunji’s father shook his head. “Don’t. If he doesn’t come down in another fifteen minutes, I’ll go up to see myself.”

The kitchen workers nodded, before turning back to their work.  
  
"Goo’ boy that Chunji. You raise’ him well. Impeccable manners."  
  
Chunji’s father smiled at Hasun. “I try my best. Thank you.”

 

Thirty minutes.

It’d been thirty minutes since the clock had struck six. Chunji had never been so late before, scratch that, he’d never been late in his entire life. He’d never broken away from his early morning routine, even on days where he was sick and extremely tired and would’ve loved to have slept in a little while longer.

There were a few reasons as to why this was.

The first was because he was definitely a morning-over-night type of person, and genuinely enjoyed being up as daylight had just begun to stream in.

The second because he enjoyed helping out with the kitchen workers, he enjoyed helping out his father and the rest of the kitchen workers—who he now considered quite close friends.

And the third reason was because of Lilian. It was a fairly new reason, but Chunji had soon come to the realization that he preferred being up hours before Lilian would be, knowing Lilian valued her sleep a whole lot. It had actually become a habit of sorts for him. Or a necessity.

Especially ever since her mother had been too preoccupied with fussing over preparations for the wedding, and had pretty much abandoned the role of waking her daughter up in the mornings—something she previously did daily. Chunji didn’t mind taking over at all. Something he knew the Queen would be exceedingly grateful for.

Sure Lilian was grumpy in the mornings, and sometimes even ready to claw out the eyes of the person who dare disrupt her extra sleeping hours, but usually the grumpiness was something that amused him more so than scared him away. Lilian was a very interesting individual, able to catch onto new information exceedingly quickly. He’d only generally seen positive emotions radiate from her, and it had gotten to a point where anything else seemed out of character. Or extremely cute in a way it wasn’t intended to be.

A grumpy Lilian was a prime example.

Being so used to a positive Lilian he in such enjoyed witnessing the one hundred and eighty degree turn of a grumpy Lilian, who in his opinion he likened to a little kitten. Of course he’d never tell her that though, knowing she was a dog person.

However, it seemed things were different today.

Drastically different.

Chunji had a routine, yes. It was also a routine he’d stuck to for several years, yes. But he had also stuck to it for a number of reasons and those reasons today didn’t seem to apply all that much.   
  
He preferred morning to night because of the light, because he enjoyed watching the sun stream in and illuminate the Palace, because he enjoyed going outside and witnessing the sunrise first hand.

The sun wasn’t out today.

It was a dull, dreary day and in such, reason number one didn’t apply anymore.

If it was just as dark as it had been in the night, and watching the light of sun stream in was what brightened his moods even more than what he usually began with—if already in a negative mindset, with a dreary, dull sky to boot, wouldn’t that only worsen how he felt?

The second reason he could evidently still do, but he stopped himself because once again he wasn’t exactly in the happiest of moods. The kitchen workers had only ever seen him happy and bright. They wouldn’t be used to a Chunji that was anything but. Chunji was the type of person who would help everyone else out when needed, and brighten their days to the best of his abilities.

He’d never been on the receiving end of that, so for one wouldn’t know what he’d do in that kind of position—and knowing he was an open book, that every emotion he had played out on his face, he didn’t want to risk it. Of all days he wasn’t in the right mind to be interrogated, and especially not kicked into place by Hasun, as fond as he was of her.

On top of that he didn’t enjoy pushing his problems onto other people and making them suffer unnecessarily, so evidently his second reason didn’t apply either.

And the third reason, well…

The third reason was the reason that was throwing him off the most. The reason he couldn’t keep his mind off. The event of the previous night had been replaying in his mind since the minute before he fell asleep, to the minute he’d woken back up.

If the Princess didn’t consider him a friend any more, what right did he have to enter her room and be the one to wake her up?

Besides he presumed that in her mind right now they were practically strangers. And as much as he tried to be okay with that, he wasn’t. Maybe she expected him to throw it all away, to forget their memories, to get on with their lives and never even interact any more… but Chunji found he wasn’t able to.

If it was what the Princess really wanted, he’d try—even though he’d know from the get-go that he’d fail. But he didn’t understand how he was expected to let go of everything like that. Without anything even being cleared up. He had no idea how he’d do it, and how it was even possible to push aside years upon years of friendship. The friendship one held dearest at that.

His best friend.

How was he expected to just throw away years and years of a friendship that unexpectedly ended without any prior warning or even any explanation? — A friendship he’d do anything to keep hold of? To save?

But he wasn’t selfish, if it was genuinely what the Princess wanted, what more could he do? How could he change her mind? She was right. She was the Princess, forefront of the Royal bloodline. In comparison he was nothing, no one. The peasant son of a peasant baker.

It was a miracle they’d even become friends to begin with.

If she didn’t want them to talk any more, even if it’d break his heart, he’d do that. For her. He’d stick to her wishes. He’d avoid her, he’d let her get on with her life and he’d try his hardest to get on with his, without her presence by his side.

But no matter what, he wouldn’t give up the memories and he wouldn’t apologize for becoming her best friend or considering her his closest friend.

Those she couldn’t force him to forget, or let go of.

And he wasn’t exaggerating when he’d said the Princess had been the first Royal to treat him like an actual human being.

 

  
It had been a few more minutes and when he glanced at the clock he sighed. Six-forty-five. Forty five whole minutes late. It was a new record for him, in fact, it was an entirely new feeling. He didn’t know what lateness felt like, he didn’t know how it felt to be unscheduled, to not be on time.

Everyone knew the Princess hated her endless routines and deadlines and schedules, but Chunji—though he wasn’t in love with them—preferred them to complete chaos.

He was actually feeling quite surprised at himself, to the extent that maybe he would’ve labelled himself a rebel at that moment in time. But he’d never really broken any rules, even those he’d set for himself, so perhaps his surprise at himself was a natural reaction.

A gentle rasp at his door shook him out of his thoughts and when he saw the much too familiar brown boots and apron, Chunji quickly buried himself further into his covers, pretending to be asleep.

"Chunji?"

Chunji gulped, but remained under the covers.

His father sighed. “Son, I know you’re awake. Stop hiding under your covers and look at me.”

Chunji sighed but did as he was told.

When he removed the covers off his bed so his head was visible the first thing his father noticed was his son’s swollen red rimmed eyes, and he sighed. His father kneeled down beside his son’s bed and patted his son’s head gently. “Ah,” he said. “You’re lucky I didn’t let any of the others come up to check on you. You’ve been crying, haven’t you?”

Chunji shook his head. “N-no,” he said.

"You can’t lie to me, son."

"Why does it even matter anyway," Chunji mumbled, childishly burying his face back into his pillow.

"Because you skipped out on your routine, something you’ve never done since the moment we moved into this place."

"I don’t have to follow a routine all my life," he countered, soon realizing he sounded an awful lot like his dark haired best friend with such a statement. "Maybe I wanted a change."

"Which was what I said to keep the others away from checking on you, but let’s be real, it’s very unlike you. Something’s happened. And the fact you’ve been crying only proves my suspicions."

"I wasn’t crying."

"No but you  _have_  been.”

Chunji grumbled.

Of all things that he was, he couldn’t deny that he was a sensitive person, because evidently, he was. He didn’t cry very often at all, though. He could probably count the amount of times he’d genuinely cried on his hands.

Genuinely cried in the way that tears had welled up in his eyes and rolled down his cheeks and repeated for a good few minutes.

Last night was one of those times.

The fact that it was so easy to tell when a person had been crying bothered him.  _"Have_ been, exactly. So it’s in the past now.”

His father let out a long sigh. “Son,” he said, glancing at Chunji sadly. ”What happened? You know you can talk to me, don’t you? Why won’t you tell me?”

"Because…" Chunji sighed and then shook his head, letting his hair fall into his eyes. "It doesn’t matter. I don’t want to talk about it."

"It does matter, and yes you do."

"No," he mumbled. "I don’t."

"C’mon, Chunji. You know if you don’t tell me I’ll be worrying about it all day long and I’ll feel like the worst parent on the planet knowing my son won’t even tell me what’s upsetting him when he’s clearly very upset. I want to help you. Please let me."

Chunji bit his lip. Why did he have to care so much about the emotions and well-being of others? He’d wished time and time again to be one of those people who did whatever they wanted whenever they wanted regardless of how other people would react or be affected and then not bat an eyelid even if it turned out they  _had_  hurt other people in the process. But unfortunately, he wasn’t one of those people. At all. “I had a fight,” he whispered, glancing down at his palms.

His father quirked an eyebrow. “With…?”

Chunji glanced the other way. “With Lilian.”

"Ah," his father said, nodding. "A little spat, eh? I’m sure it’ll be fixed soon enough. Friends fight, especially best friends. Don’t worry about it, alright?"

Chunji chewed on his lips. “No. It wasn’t just a little argument, and it’s not something we can fix and overcome straight away. Or even ever. She doesn’t want to see me currently.”

His father’s eyebrow creased. “Did you hurt her?”

Chunji winced. “I’d never—” He let out a soft sigh. “It was the other way around. She’s decided she doesn’t want to be friends with me any more and gave me no explanation. It was so abrupt and so unexplained but basically she said we couldn’t speak or interact again. And that she doesn’t want anything to do with me any more.”

His father winced. “That’s harsh, and from what I’ve witnessed of the Princess, so unlike her. I’m surprised, I always thought you two would be friends for life.”

Chunji glanced at his hands and sighed shakily. “So did I.” He then blinked and turned towards his father. “I don’t think talking about this is helping me much, I think if anything it’s only upsetting me more, is it okay if we stop here?”

"Sure, son. But get up and get washed and then come down for breakfast, you can sit beside me for today."   
  
Chunji nodded, but his heart pang at the realization that for the first time since they’d been friends, he and Lilian wouldn’t be sitting next to each other for breakfast.

 

  
The hallways were much busier at this time than at the time Chunji usually got up, but when he walked past Lilian’s room he stalled. He stared longingly at the door before shaking his head and continuing on towards the staircase. They weren’t best friends according to her any more, they were practically strangers, and she wouldn’t want a complete stranger barging into her room and waking her up, now would she? 

It was for the best, he tried to tell himself. Though he couldn’t even convince himself such.

When he reached the dining table, he quickly shuffled away from his usual seat avoiding all temptation to give in and sit there, and moved to sit beside his father. Some time passed and he began to watch as people steadily began to file in and take up the seats.

He tried hard not to pay attention to the vacant seat where his best friend always sat, and tried to not feel guilty for not being in the seat beside it, telling himself it was what Lilian wanted. And she’d be much happier to be free of him for a day, right?

He must’ve got lost in his thoughts because not soon after he snapped out of them after hearing a voice calling his name. “Chunji?” It was Lilian’s older sister.

Chunji turned to face her. “Yes, Princess?”

She tilted her head to the side slightly. “Why are you sitting there? Don’t you always sit besides Lilian?”

Chunji bit his lip, nodding awkwardly. How was he supposed to breech this topic with her family members?

But he hadn’t given the eldest Princess enough credit as she quickly pieced together that something was amiss. “Did something happen?” She asked with wide eyes.

Chunji nodded, sending the older girl a sad smile.

"Ah, well, okay. Don’t worry about it. I’ll go wake her."

 

It’d been at least twenty minutes since Lilian’s older sister had dashed off to fetch her younger sister, but Chunji had decided to not dwell on it too much because waking the Princess could sometimes be a difficult task and perhaps they were talking, perhaps the Princess just wasn’t feeling like breakfast. There was a lot of different possibilities and not knowing which one could be the real reason she hadn’t yet shown Chunji decided not to dwell on it.

Until the Queen ran in with her hair in a disarray and tears streaming down her cheeks with her arms flailing all over the place. She took a deep breath before saying,  _"Lilian is missing."_

Chunji dropped the cup he’d been holding. “W-what?” He asked breathlessly.

The whole table came to a standstill. The whole Palace seemed to come to a standstill.

"The Princess is missing!" A table occupant then repeated. "Notify everyone and go search for her. All of you."

It was when the King came in impeccably dressed and calling everyone to attention as he turned to face everyone, did it finally sink in just how serious the situation was for Chunji. “An urgent meeting has been called. All those belonging to the Royal family must attend, and if you have anything to do with Lilian—if you’re a friend of hers or have interacted with her in the past twenty four hours, please come along too. If you haven’t interacted with my youngest daughter for the past twenty four hours please keep your eyes open and report back to us if there are any sightings of her. Thank you. Please proceed.”

They all sat around the table. Lilian’s immediate family were all present, and Chunji seemed to be the only one out of the whole Palace who wasn’t a blood relative sitting at the table, which surprised him. Meaning he was the only non-blood relative she’d interacted with in the past twenty fours hours; that or the rest were too scared to show.

Lilian’s brother and her sister were sitting next to each and rather than bicker like they normally would, they were completely silent and looked stricken. They daren’t move a muscle and waited for their father—or someone—to speak.

But their mother was taking it the worst. She wasn’t even sitting, she was pacing around the room, darting from corner to corner and seemed to be hyperventilating. Tears were still streaming down her cheeks and she let out a constricted shriek at one point.

"Calm down," the King said to his wife, eventually.

"Calm down? Calm down?! How can I—" the Queen rasped. "Do you know what it’s like to lose a daughter?!—How could you be so insensitive?!"

Her father’s eyes narrowed. “She is my daughter too!” He sighed. "And we haven’t lost her. Don’t get ahead of yourself.”

"She could be dead," The Queen wailed. "What if she’s been kidnapped?! Or eaten?! What if she’s run into a Rogue or a Night Crawler?! Oh god I-I’ve heard they’re actually cannibals and—and—"

The King waved his hand dismissively. “That’s all just village talk. They don’t actually exist—it’s all just talk to stop children from wandering into forests and wandering off alone at night. Besides even if they did exist, I’m certain that they’re not cannibals.”

"How can you know?" The Queen slid down the wall and buried her head in her hands. "What if they do exist? What if they are actually cannibals? What if Lilian has run into them? What if she’s been eaten?! Oh god—oh god."

"I just do. They don’t exist. In the instance that they do I’m certain that they’re not cannibals. She hasn’t. Once again, no, she hasn’t. Stop worrying. And please sit down at the table, you’re making me nervous."

The Queen quickly jumped onto her feet, showing her shaky hands to her husband. “I’m so shaky! I can’t sit down! I don’t know how to relax, my daughter’s gone missing… oh god… I’m going to be sick.”

"Well I can’t stay in this room and talk to you all if none of you are going to cooperate and you’re acting like buffoons. I’ll come back when you’ve calmed down."

The Queen’s eyes widened. “W-what? Where are you going?”

"I’m going to find the visitor to see if he knows anything about it. One of Jungshin’s. Jungshin requested that he sleep here for a night or two whilst the room he’s nesting in Jungshin’s Palace is refurbished. It may be a shot in the dark but it’s worth a try."

"Which one?" Lilian’s brother asked.

"The blond one. Do you know which one I mean? I’m afraid I’m unfamiliar with his name."

"I can’t recall him at all," Lilian’s sister said. She offered an unsure smile. "Sorry."

"Me either," her brother chimed. He turned to Chunji. "How about you, Chunji?"

Chunji shook his head. He faced the King. “I think I know who you mean but I don’t know his name.”

The Queen blinked a few times before she exclaimed, “Daehwa? I think it was Daehwa!”

"You may be right," the King said. "Anyway I’ll find out."

 

After the King had left the room, everything turned into a hysterics Olympic once more.

"I’m such a bad mother," the Queen sobbed. "What kind of mother must I be? There’s the possibility she ran away, right? Which means she had a problem, and I never even realized! How could I be so unobservant?! This is my  _daughter._  I’m her  _mother_. I’m the first one she should turn to when there’s a problem or difficulty.”

Lilian’s brother scoffed. “That’s preposterous. She hasn’t run away. And if there was a problem that big swimming around her little head, she’d obviously tell us. She’d obviously tell _me._ Right?” He wanted to believe the words he was saying himself but he knew he was mainly just saying them to calm down his mother and make her worry less. There really was the possibility that Lilian ran away and her brother of all people knew that. 

Chunji kept quiet.

Though she’d never said it aloud Chunji knew Lilian didn’t want to disappoint her parents.

Another sniffle was heard from the Queen. “Oh—oh no. What are we going to tell Jungshin?! How do we tell him his fiancée’s gone missing? That no matter where we look, we can’t find her?!”

Lilian’s brother snorted. “Exactly like you just did.”

"No, no." Lilian’s elder sister grinned excitedly. "Tell him she’s really stressed and needs a holiday. It should work a treat!"

"Or don’t tell him anything at all. We don’t owe him anything."

"Shut up," his elder sister hissed. "Now’s not the time to go into overprotective older brother mode."

"Why don’t you?" He then scoffed. "It’s not even about that, the guy’s just a huge buffoon. Any older sibling in their right mind wouldn’t be happy that their baby sister’s practically being sold off to the guy."

"I didn’t see you voicing any complaints beforehand."

"Because I don’t have a say in the matter! And besides we hadn’t met him then, but we have now and let’s not sugar coat it, he’s awful."

"Hmph. You wouldn’t _dare_ say that in front of our parents."

"But I literally just did?"

"Not  _to_  them though. Or more specifically, to mother.”

"Psh," he said as he turned towards his mother, keeping fluent eye contact. "Fine. I don’t like Jungshin."

His mother blinked. “But you’re not the one marrying him.”

"Fine," her elder brother said. "Lilian doesn’t like Jungshin either."

"Lilian’s not here to back that up," his elder sister pointed out condescendingly. "You can’t speak _for_ her."

"How terrible of a sister are you? How can you not tell that she despises the guy?"

Chunji winced. He’d once thought the exact same thing, until Lilian implied otherwise yesterday. He stayed out of it though, knowing the bickering was the family’s business and also that it wasn’t his place to intrude, if his conversation with Lilian yesterday had taught him anything, it was to never doubt his place. Never doubt how much of a lower individual the Royals considered him regardless of how human they treated him. 

"I’m not a terrible sister at all! And obviously because a girl’s biggest dream is her wedding day. We prepare our whole lives for it. It’s everything."

"You’re so brainwashed." He then chuckled. "Lilian’s not into weddings. Or marriage, and besides, she’s like seven."

Lilian’s elder sister then gasped. “You’re an abomination! Calling _me_ a bad sibling and then sprouting this kind of nonsense?! Didn’t you hear her bachorlette speech?!”

"Uh, yes I did. And it was obvious sarcasm." He then chuckled. "But clearly detecting sarcasm isn’t your forte, so…"

The elder girl rolled her eyes. “Because it wasn’t sarcasm. Besides what’s wrong with Jungshin? He seems like a lovely boy.”

Her brother scoffed. “Yeah if you’re into being dehumanized. And then kept locked away in a tower because he’d already decided on your first meeting that he won’t let you interact with your best friend any more, right? That’s always healthy.”

His sister paused for a minute before chuckling nervously. “He had good intentions, I’m sure!”

"You can’t even convince yourself this time, can you? Besides isn’t the age difference a little… I don’t know… creepy?"

"It’s only four or five years, don’t over exaggerate."

"But she’s turning seventeen in a couple of months and he’s like what, twenty-one or twenty-two?"

"It’s perfectly normal, look at mother and father! Besides, he can safely protect her and be responsible for her with their age difference."   
  
"Why can’t she marry someone closer to her age though? This Jungshin guy’s older than I am and I don’t like that. I mean—ah. Why can’t she just marry Chunji instead? At least we know he’s genuinely a nice person and will treat her right."

His older sister smirked. “Isn’t Chunji older than you too, though?”

"Well, yeah. But… that’s different. I actually like Chunji. I know he’s a good person." He then turned to face Chunji. "So what about it, would you marry Lilian if given the chance?"

"Well," Chunji stuttered. "I-I’m not sure if it would work. Lilian and I are—" He didn’t alter his wording because he didn’t want her whole family to know things were a little rocky at the current moment between them. "—Best friends and it works perfectly the way it is. Besides I feel like it should be her decision at the end of the day who she marries or if she even marries to begin with, either way I’ll support her decision, I just." He sighed. "I just want to continue being her friend for as long as I can be."

Her brother blinked. “You’re sure?”

Chunji nodded.

"Well it’s a shame because you really do have the best intentions in mind and heart and I trust you, but if you say so, okay." He slid down in his seat and pouted a little bit.

"Now that we’re past that," their mother then said. "Can we please get back to the topic at hand?"

"I don’t think she was kidnapped," Lilian’s brother said.

"I, on the other hand, do believe she was kidnapped," her sister said.

Lilian’s brother rolled his eyes.

"Why are you rolling your eyes at me? It’s not impossible."

"It’s highly unlikely, if you actually think about it. She doesn’t like her fiancé, she hates the Princess-y type requirements and she’s always had a thirst for adventure. She’s left by her own freewill."

"Where are you getting all of this from? Do we know a different Lilian?"

"Evidently we must do. And I know it because I actually speak to my little sister, unlike you."

The elder girl scoffed. “If that’s the case then why has she disappeared and you’re sitting here debating with me whether or not it was a kidnapping or a runaway; if you knew she was unhappy with Jungshin and the arranged marriage and Princess life, why didn’t you say something? Why didn’t you talk to her about it? — I had no idea, I was under the impression she was happy here, that Jungshin was her ideal partner, her speech was the most convincing thing I’d ever heard.” She took a deep breath. “So excuse me for not being able to read her mind.”

"Well—uh— because… we don’t usually talk about those kinds of things, and—"

"So exactly. _Exactly_. That makes you the bad sibling, not me!”

"How about we both suck, huh? Or are you unable to compromise?"

"Ugh." The eldest Princess clucked her tongue. "Sometimes I feel like such an outsider in this family."

"This isn’t even about you, so stop trying to make it about you."

"You are impossible." She buried her face in her hands. "Our little sister has gone missing and you’re turning this into an argument for the second time—"

"It’s not an argument—"

"I do not care what it is or isn’t, you’re stressing me out. So I’m going to leave, I’m going to go check on Patch—the rabbit she didn’t think about when she ‘abandoned’ us!"

Lilian’s brother chuckled. “I thought she’d been kidnapped?”

Their mother wailed at the use of the word ‘kidnapped’ and Lilian’s sister sighed. “Great going,” she said, narrowing her eyes. “I hope you’re proud of yourself, little brother.”

 

The King had finally returned after some time. Walking into the room, he glanced around and noted his eldest daughter’s vacant seat. “Where is she?” He asked.

"She went to look after the rabbits," his wife said. She then edged towards her husband. "Did you find him?—The boy you were looking for?"

"No," he said, frustrated. "He must’ve already left. I looked all over."  
  
"Ah, well that’s a shame."

"Yes," the King agreed. "Anyhow, how has it gone? Have we decided upon a conclusion?"

"I’m very conflicted, and the children are torn between two different options: kidnapped and Lilian running away out of her own freewill."

"Hmm," the King said. "Either is plausible, but we should definitely decide upon what we’re going to do next. Perhaps a search party? Spread the word around the village and offer a reward?"

Chunji decided to use this time to speak up. “Or,” he said, capturing everyone’s attention. “I could go, and we could keep it on the down low, at least initially. If you think about it, if we spread the word around the village, anyone could hear it and word travels fast. If there are any dangerous people out there with a vendetta against the Princess or you as a family that will put her in danger and we don’t want to risk that, do we?”

The King nodded, urging the boy to continue.

"On top of that she’s my best friend, and besides you all, respectfully, I do believe I know her the best. But then we have an extra advantage, unlike the rest of you, I’m not a Royal and no one knows who I am, nor cares. No one’s going to chase me to kidnap or kill me because of my bloodline or name, and no one’s going to care if I die, so what have we got to lose? Besides, she’s my best friend, I live here, I don’t expect any rewards from you. It’s a win-win situation from every angle."

"That sounds like a plan," the King said. "You’re sure you’re willing to do such?"

"Positive."

"Then it’s decided," he said. "Chunji will go out and search for Lilian. But please, before you do, get permission from your father."

Chunji nodded. “I will.”

Lilian’s brother patted Chunji on the shoulder. “I’d go with you if you’d—and mother and father—would let me, but evidently that won’t be an option. I want thank you, though. Genuinely. You really are a good person. Sometimes I believe she’s really lucky to have you as a best friend.”

 

It had been an intense day, so no one blamed Chunji for wanting to get some fresh air, so weren’t surprised when he got up and made a beeline for the front door.

Even if it was beginning to get dark, he really did need some air. He needed to clear his mind, so opening the Palace’s huge front door, he stepped out into the patio. 

He’d been outside for about fifteen minutes and it was beginning to do the trick, to help clear his head, and he was beginning to feel a lot better, so stood up and began to make his way back to the palace’s front door.

But just as he did, he felt someone—or something—slither up behind him and press him into their chest, locking him in to a tight hold. A hold so secure that he couldn’t wriggle out of it no matter how hard he thrashed and tried to kick his way out.

His eyes widened and shivers made their way up his back when he realized he couldn’t escape.

"What the—?" He hissed.

A hand clamped its way over his mouth.

 _"Do not scream,"_  the voice wasn’t what he was expecting. It was soft… calm even. It wasn’t intimidating in the slightest, but there was definitely an eerie quality to it, but in the most soothing of ways. The sound of the voice seemed to have a calming effect on him and he didn’t feel threatened or in danger any more. This only lasted a few seconds before the chills erupted all at once along his back again upon the realization that the voice was, in fact,  _familiar._  He’d heard it before.

Recently.

"Promise me you will not scream and I will take my hand off your mouth. Nod your head as a confirmation."

Chunji nodded to signify he understood.

The hand wasn’t removed yet, though. Chunji’s fear level seemed to spike once more. “You must cooperate. Please do not do anything rash. I am not here to hurt you. Lives are at stake, I need your cooperation.”

Chunji nodded again and mumbled a muffled ‘okay’ behind the hand.

The person holding him began to shuffle—which as Chunji soon noted was making no sound whatsoever—however he could tell by the stench that they were nearing the stables. The place where Lilian’s other friend Jongup stayed. It was when they reached a position of grass illuminated by the small torch-light glow that came from the stables did Chunji see who had ‘kidnapped’ him and he could’ve scoffed.

_"Y-you?"_

The man nodded. “Hello, Chunji.” He bowed slightly. “Please excuse my lack of manners for a moment back there. I realize I must have taken you by surprise, perhaps even scared you. It was not my intention. I, however, could not risk you giving up our post and alerting the others. We have some very important matters to discuss.”

"What the—? Is this some kind of hoax?"

"I have no idea what you are referring to." He paused and mimicked an eyebrow raise, hoping to indicate confusion. "Please explain."

"You’re with Jungshin—you’re one of his elite four—! You’re supposed to be gone! The King said he looked all over for you because you stayed the night because of some stupid room refurbishment or something and but—he… he didn’t find you? What is going on?"

The illuminated—by the glow of the lantern—man nodded. “I specifically hid away from the King. He cannot know I am still here.”

"Wha—? Why not?"

"Look, Chunji. I do not have time to explain in this current moment. I must discuss more important matters with you. Explaining can happen once we are out of the premise, I believe it is too dangerous around here at the present moment, perhaps even the future moment. We cannot risk it."

"Cannot risk what? What are you talking about? Who even are you?! All I know is that you were sitting with Jungshin at dinner and you didn’t—you were the only one who didn’t join in on the conversation…" He trailed off. "Why was that?"

"I am Daehyun. I was with Jungshin, you are correct. That right now is not of importance."

"What do you mean it’s not of importance? How can it not be of importance?"

"We are having communication difficulties. Your friend was much easier to speak to." He circled around Chunji three times before glancing up at the sandy blond’s face. "Ah, I see. That is what it is. You do not trust me."

"I don’t even know you!"

"Chunji, I am not your enemy," The lighter blond boy said, frowning. The frown seemed out of place on his face and it was the first thing Chunji noticed. It was hard to describe for Chunji but it seemed like it didn’t place correctly, nor even fit correctly on the face of the lighter blond. "If anything, I am on your side."

Chunji was taken aback. This perfect postured, lighter blond man with facial expressions that seemed… odd—to say the least definitely wasn’t what he remembered. Evidently he hadn’t been paying much attention to the lighter blond at dinner, but he could’ve sworn there was nothing that made him stand out to the extent he currently was doing. Or perhaps he was just too short sighted by his bubbling anger at Jungshin at the time to notice. "M-my side? I have a side? What— are you talking about—”

Reading people had always been something Chunji was exceedingly good at. But for some reason it was so difficult to get a reading on the lighter blond standing before him. Daehyun was staring, and it felt to Chunji that he could see into the depths of his very soul; which unnerved him, because he was certain the light blond before him wasn’t intending to do it. Right now in the illuminated light, there was something  _different_ about the man before him.

Something very different.  
  
Something he’d never seen before, nor believed he ever would again. In anyone, or any thing.

"What do you want to talk to me about?" He then asked, hoping to swallow back the fear that was once again making itself present.  
  
"Your friend… she has gone missing. Correct?"  
  
"Yes."

Daehyun nodded. “The King… he intended to speak to me? Why was this?”  
  
"Because you were at the dinner and sitting beside Lilian and then stayed for a night—and the rest of the day— here by Jungshin’s orders and the probability of you encountering Lilian within those past twenty four hours is heightened."

Daehyun nodded again, processing this. “I did.”

Chunji froze. “What…?”

"I did see Lilian. In fact, Lilian and I talked. She left a note."

"A— a note?"

"Yes. Shall I read it you?" Daehyun asked. "It is addressed to a Chunji and… a Jongup."

Chunji nodded. “Of course. Jongup. The boy who looks after the stable, he’s Lilian’s friend too. We’ve never really spoken before—I think he’s very shy. Of course I have no problems with speaking to him, even befriending him, the opportunity has never arisen, however.”

Daehyun nodded. “I see. I am reading the note now. ' _To Chunji and Jongup,_  
_Okay I’ll start this off by stating the obvious. I’m not good at things like this, clearly. I’ve probably messed up already. But that’s besides the point. You know these types of conversations aren’t my strongest point, you especially, Chunji._  
  
_Well anyway, you know I’ve been extremely frustrated as of late, right? You know I can’t stand the Princess life to begin with and the whole Jungshin thing… it’s just been the final straw._

 _The thing is I’ve mentioned it a few times, and every single time Chunji you laugh like it’s some crazy out of reach idea that’s practically impossible. But it’s not. It is reachable and it’s not insane. I can achieve it, and I will… I just._  
  
_How do I say this…?_  
  
_I’m leaving for a while, okay.  
Alone. _ _I’m going on an adventure. That crazy ‘let’s escape the Palace’ adventure I mention time and time again to you Chunji. The one you think is insane, and impossible and everything else._ _But it’s not. It’s out there, and it’s waiting for me._  
  
_I’m not made for this type of life and I never have been._ _I’m not a perfect Princess and really not much of a perfect daughter in my family’s eyes either, I guess. And probably after what I did to you yesterday, the worst best friend around._ _I know I hurt you, and I actually hurt myself hurting you. I cried, you know?—Only you will understand how big of a deal that is with me, won’t you?_  
  
_I cried when you left and I didn’t mean a thing I said. I can’t stand Jungshin, it’s true. You’re not wrong, and you’re not a peasant. You’re the kindest and most loving and gentle best friend out there and I’m so lucky to have you in my life, Chunji. I understand if you hate me, if I were you I’d probably hate me too. If you get this letter it probably means I’ve already gone and so please don’t try to find me and please please please don’t tell my family._

 _And Jongup—because I know he’s probably never going to see this— I just want to say that I hate the way he’s treated. I loathe it. I can’t believe the same people who clothed me, raised me and fed me are the same ones who keep him up at insane hours just so he look after those damn horses, he calls them his family. He’s older than me and I want to protect him, and honestly it’s kind of pathetic. But promise me you’ll look after him when I’m gone, please. Make sure he’s eating and he’s sleeping and that he’s not overworking himself even though that’s probably inevitable with how hard he pushes himself._  
  
_I’m asking three things of you Chunji. Just three._  
_1\. You don’t come looking for me_  
_2\. You don’t tell my parents where I’ve gone_  
_3\. You look after Jongup_  
_So this is a goodbye. I love you both._  
_~Lilian_.'”

"What our problem is, is that where Lilian is heading… it is not safe. In the slightest. She could lose her life in a second, and she has not realized what she is walking into and just how dangerous it is, so you need to help her. You and the Jongup boy. You have to find her and you have to bring her back. Or else she may die. She wants you to promise not to tell her family or show them the note, and that is why her father cannot know I am here. Or that this note exists. We must collect Jongup and convince him to come with us. I do not know how difficult a task this may prove to be, but we must try."  
  
_"Us?"_  
  
"I will tag along because I know the area better than you do I am presuming. If you have lived at the Palace your entire life then I definitely do know the area better. Also I have a friend I must meet up with who we will cross paths. That I am certain of. So will you do it?"

Chunji nodded. “Of course, I just have to let my father know first, is that okay?”

Daehyun nodded. 


	14. Patience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQ4ziRhLGCE

"So you’re just working for Jungshin, then?" Chunji then asked, once they’d begun to make their way over to the stable in which Jongup spent the majority of his time. Or all of his time.

Daehyun nodded his head. “Temporarily.”  
  
"But if that’s the case why are you in his elite circle?"

Daehyun blinked. “I believe he… likes me.”

"Wait, I’m sorry but… you work for him, right?" Daehyun nodded at Chunji’s question. "And he put you in his elite circle of friends… just like that? How long have you been working for him?"

"About a month."

Chunji’s mouth fell open. “You’re kidding… you  _have_  to be joking. There’s no way… do you how infamous Jungshin’s elite circle is? How much other people would sacrifice to even be  _acknowledged_  by the arrogant buffoon?”

"I cannot imagine why. Unless it is for  _that_  reason…” Daehyun trailed off.

"What reason?"

"Well, literal human minds… they confuse me. I suppose I am too used to looking for ulterior motives, hidden patterns, things beyond what is concrete. Beyond what our eyes can see. To have such simplicity, such openness, it is a strange concept. Jungshin means everything he says. Perhaps people like that kind of honesty. Myself, in contrast, I am not used to it. It takes some getting used to."

"I guess that makes sense?" Chunji let out a breath. Then blinked. "Wait a min--" he then shook his head, thinking it must've been a blip in his hearing. "Should we go get Jongup now?"

The lighter blond nodded. Beginning to follow, allowing Chunji to lead the way. However about a meter before they reached their destination Daehyun suddenly called out Chunji’s name.

Chunji turned back. “Yes?”

"May we stop for a moment? I realize I must let you in on this for you to fully trust me."

"Okay," Chunji said. "Let me in on what?"

"Please have a seat, this may take a while." Both Chunji and Daehyun allowed themselves space to sit down, and Chunji turned to face the lighter blond waiting for him to speak. "What I am next going to tell you goes beyond anything you have ever known. The severity of this situation is indisputable. Everything you have come to know, this will change the tides of everything. Please listen carefully, as I speak no lies."

Chunji gulped, feeling a little afraid at the sudden change in dynamic, but nodded. “O…okay?”

Daehyun did not face Chunji, rather, he stared out into the black of the night. “We are not safe any more. There is a dark power in this world so deadly, so strong, it could destroy everything. Incinerate everything you have ever known and fill it with the darkest, most destructive brand of evil. There is a being currently breathing in this world who has the power to turn everything on its head, ruin every scrap of progress we have made. It intends to break every barrier, every wall. And he _—yes he—_  a single being with this kind of power, has minions. An ever growing army. There is another being currently under his command yet has—or is beginning to develop the power to surpass him, to over throw him. This being is currently on par with myself, as far as I am aware, but he grows stronger every single day. This man I speak of is truly my current equal, my opposite. My biggest foe. But I cannot predict the rate that his strength goes. There may come a time when he surpasses me, in which, I will never be able to defeat him. That thought is the utmost terrifying, the scariest possibility, the worst outcome. I know what runs through his head and I know how evil he truly is. He will stop at nothing to get what he wants.”

Daehyun took a deep breath, but still didn’t face Chunji. “Our knowledge of their whereabouts is limited as of current, but we were able to deduce that they plan on building an army, an army on earth. They have a headquarters somewhere, or they are attempting to build headquarters. I am here for a purpose. This is not a chance meeting.”

"Are you…" Chunji shook his head in disbelief once Daehyun had finished, scoffing. "Are you… you must be crazy. Mad. I am sorry but this is absolutely preposterous."

Daehyun’s expression dimmed greatly. “I am not lying to you. It is the honest truth.”

"Even if you’re not entirely mad, what does this have to do with me? With Lilian?" Chunji was finding it difficult to absorb anything, to take any of this babble in. Just who was this man?—Clearly not who he’d first assumed. Definitely not just Jungshin’s minion.

"Hopefully not a lot. But with Lilian’s disappearance and the fact that we do not yet currently know where these evil foes hide, she is in grave danger. They could be anywhere. They are looking to build an army. I do not know what their intention is, nor what they plan on doing with said army. Nor even who it is they intend on gathering. But your friend is at risk. Especially alone. We must help her. Get to her before they do. If she interacts with the strongest minion of this dark force, there is no knowing the ends of what he will do to her. He could be anywhere." He then turned to face Chunji. "I believe in yours and Lilian’s friendship, Chunji. I believe in you. You can bring her back. Princesses have a title and that makes them all that more desirable to our foes. We must find her. I need your help. I need Jongup’s help." His eyes were burning with a sincerity Chunji had never before witnessed.  _"Please."_

Chunji nodded. “Well you’re right. If there’s one thing I can pull out of this madness, it’s the one thing that will convince me to go. If like you say, Lilian’s in danger, I have to help. What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t? Let’s go find Jongup.”

"Thank you. I knew I had entrusted this knowledge to the right person."

 

Finding Jongup was a much easier task than what Chunji was anticipating. Once they’d arrived at the stables, and after Chunji had unlatched the lock of the gate, he led them inside.

Daehyun kept glancing over his shoulder and it was starting to bother Chunji. Jongup was inside, not outside. Who was Daehyun looking for?

He decided to ask him. “Who are you looking for?”

Daehyun blinked. “Oh,” he said. “No one. I just need to be on my guard.”

This perturbed Chunji even more. “Why, are we in danger here? Is there something else you’re not telling me?”

"No," the lighter blond replied instantly. "Not that I am aware of, anyway."

"Also what’s with the lack of contractions in your speech?"

"O-oh. Haha, um." Daehyun shook his head, allowing his hair to swish with it. "N-nothing. Contractions… I am using them. I mean—  _I’m_  using many contractions. I mean….  _can’t_  you see?”

Chunji crinkled his nose. “You’re definitely… unique.”

"Thank you, friend."

"For the first time in my life I’m not sure I even mean it as a compliment."

Daehyun didn’t know how to respond to that. He suddenly lifted his head up and stared Chunji in the eye. “Jongup!” He exclaimed. “Lead me to Jongup!”

Chunji only raised an eyebrow this time. “He’s uhh… like an inch away from where your foot currently is. Sleeping.”

"On the cold hard ground?"

"On the cold hard ground."

"Why is that?"

"He… doesn’t have a bed." The natural light in Chunji’s eyes seemed to dim. "Lilian really wasn’t joking. This is awful."

"He will get ill, will he not? Huma— I mean  _—we—_  we humans can get sick from these kinds of instances, can we not?”

Chunji looked at Daehyun weirdly. “Yes,” Chunji finally said.  _"We_  really can.”

"If only my brother was here to heal him…" Daehyun suddenly trailed off, sounding sad. "Healing is not exactly my strongest point."

"Is your brother a doctor, or something?"

An amused smile played on Daehyun’s features. “Something like that, yes.”

"Well I wish he was here too, then. Jongup’s really going to get sick if this carries on." Chunji let out an angry sounding sigh. "I was always so sure this Palace was the better one, you know? The more humane one—but when they have things like this going on, how do I defend that? They treated me and my father well, but is that only because I’m Lilian’s friend, because my father cooks for them? I thought they believed in the equal treatment of everyone, but do they see the way they’re treating me and my father as special treatment? Because if so, I don’t understand how they expect me to defend them for that. This shouldn’t be legal. He doesn’t have a bed, he lives outside, with horses! They feed him the scraps of what’s left from their big extravagant dinners—and believe me with the amount of Palace occupants eating these dinners, there’s not much left once everyone’s done. And now Lilian’s gone, he’s not going to get any good meals any more. My father is the main Chef of this Palace but but you know it was  _Lilian_  who came here everyday without fail with a plate full of food just to make sure he was getting fed, and there I was thinking she’d really end our friendship like that. Over something so out of character. I actually bought into it, I doubted how good a person she was…” His eyes teared up before he realized it. “How could I do that? What kind of best friend doesn’t at least make sure? Why couldn’t I see through her plans? — And to laugh at the one thing she wanted more than anything in this world as if it was a preposterous thing… she must’ve felt so misunderstood. And as her best friend, isn’t it my duty to make sure she never feels that way?” He dabbed at the corner of his eyes. “I’m sorry."

"Please do not cry," Daehyun said as the first tear made its way down Chunji’s cheek. Daehyun could tell that Chunji didn’t cry often, and it was what made a sad element lace into the tone of his voice. "It is not your fault."

"We have to help her, Daehyun. We have to promise to find her."

"We will, do not worry."

"Then I’ll wake up Jongup now, okay?"

Daehyun nodded, making room for Chunji to wake the younger boy up. Chunji kneeled down onto the ground and scooted closer so he was in line with the sleeping boy.

"Yah," Chunji whispered, as he shook the sleeping boy a few times. "Jongup, yah."

Jongup grumbled, placing his hands over his face and hiding in his own arms. It was obvious there and then to Chunji that the younger boy really didn’t want to wake up. “Wah, how cute,” the elder boy said, chuckling. “He’s probably not had a lot of sleep. Ah, I feel bad doing this now.”

"We could carry him over our shoulders if you would prefer it?"

Chunji seemed to be considering this. But it was in that moment that Jongup’s eyes shot open and he jumped onto his feet, now hyper alert. “O-oh no,” he said frantically. “I— I wasn’t sleeping on the job — I p-promise. Please sirs, please don’t don’t tell the higher ups.” He bowed his head. “I’m extremely sorry, I never meant for this to h-happen. I—I.” Jongup then sighed, seeming to believe his pleas were futile.

Chunji wanted to pinch his cheeks. “Jongup,” he said.

Jongup’s eyes were downcast and he gulped.

"Hey, hey, hey. Jongup, look at me."

Jongup lifted his head and shyly met Chunji’s eyes.

"We’re not here to get you into trouble, okay?"

"Y-you’re not?"

"No. I promise. Listen to hyung, okay. We’re here because we need your help."

"M-my help? Me? Wha—? Why?"

"It’s about Lilian."

"P-princess?"

Chunji couldn’t hold back his smile. “Yes,” he said. “Princess Lilian.”

"Is she… okay?"

"We don’t know yet. That’s why we need your help. Lilian’s gone missing. Or, well, she left."

"S-she really left?"

Chunji’s eyebrow rose. “You  _knew?”_

Jongup nodded timidly. “I— um. She came to see me before, and s-she said she was planning to leave… the Palace? But she said she’d take myself and a um… a Chunji with her? I realize she didn’t take me, but did C-Chunji go with her?”

Chunji laughed a little at this. “Well if he has, he never told me about it.”

"Are you close with Chunji, then?"

Chunji chuckled at Jongup’s adorable cluelessness.

"No. Or I suppose. I  _am_  him, after all.”

"Y-you’re Chunji?"

"Yes," the older boy grinned. "I’m Chunji. Lilian’s other best friend. It’s nice to finally meet you." He held out his hand and Jongup stared at it in bewilderment.

"You’re supposed to shake it," the elder boy said in a hushed whisper.

Jongup’s cheeks darkened with color. “O-oh! I, um, I apologize for not knowing this.” As he reached forward and shook Chunji’s hand.

"I’m Jongup."

"I know."

"O-oh." Jongup nodded, still looking a little nervous.

"So the thing is, Lilian’s left, and the Palace is under the impression she’s been kidnapped. So, being her best friend, I offered to go find her and eventually the Royal family agreed and are letting me. Basically she wrote a note that’s titled to you and to me, and we’re the ones she trusts the most, so we’ve decided it’d be best if both of us go find her, you know? Daehyun here knows the area much better than I do, so he’s our best guide. Are you in? I can show you the note." He passed the note over to Jongup, who took it gingerly.

Jongup nodded as he began to read over the words on the page, passing it back when he’d finished. But then froze. “But what about… what about my horses?”

Chunji froze. “Oh… um… about that.” He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. “About that.” He turned to Daehyun, clearly asking for help.

"We can take them with us for the time being," Daehyun said. "I have two friends in the village who could help look after them whilst we are gone."

"They would do that?" Jongup asked, sounding surprised.

"Without hesitation," the lightest blond replied.

"Well if that’s settled," Chunji said. "The last thing I need to do is get permission from my father."

"S-shall we wait here?" Jongup asked.

"Well Daehyun’s going to have to." Chunji chuckled. "You’re welcome to keep him company if you like."

Jongup nodded.

 

Chunji tiptoed into the Palace, knowing at these kinds of hours everyone minus a specific someone would be fast asleep.

"Yah, Appa."

Chunji’s father turned towards him, already expecting his only son’s visit. “I already know what you’re here to tell me,” he said, cutting to the chase.

"You do? How?"

"Word spreads fast in this place, Chunji. You know that."

"Are you okay with it?"

"A friendship as strong as the one you and Princess Lilian share is worth fighting for. Do whatever it takes to find her and go before I change my mind, okay." His father swallowed the lump back in his throat before he grumbled. "Come back alive, though. I’ll kill you if you don’t."

Chunji laughed. “I will, and thank you, Appa.”

It was after Chunji had left the room did his father push himself up into a sitting position and sigh. 

Looking back on how much his baby son had grown, it brought a proud tear to his eye.

 

_A late summer evening, the sun had just begun to set._

_Holding the hand of his tiny son, the father glanced down at the youngster and smiled._ _His son was the epitome of innocence, of sunshine._

_"Are we nearly there?" The little boy asked excitedly, grinning up at his father._

_"Not now, son. We’ll be there soon, though."_

_His little son nodded his head. He was excited. “I can’t wait,” he said, giggling. “The Palace is going to be so big and bright and there’ll be so many rooms and people and appa—! Appa, guess what?”_

_His father couldn’t help but smile. “What, son?”_

_"We’ll actually be having real food, won’t we? We will, won’t we appa?"_

_His father nodded. “I suppose so, darling.”_

_"But not just any food, huh? Real food that you prepared yourself! That you cooked for everyone else too!”_

_His father glanced the other way, before he sighed softly. “You know I don’t cook any more, Chunji. Not since...”_

_"Which is such a shame!" Chunji poked his father’s side. "You’re the best cook I know—and I know I don’t know many to begin with but I still know some and you’re definitely much better than they are!"_

_His father laughed. “Thanks for having faith in me, baby boy.”_

_"I’ll never not have faith in you. You’re my favorite." He ran up to his father’s leg and clung to it. "Forever and ever and ever and ever. Until the end of time."_

_His father scooped his tiny son into his arms and cradled him tightly against his chest, trying his hardest to hide his now frosty eyes from his vision. “I love you, Lee Chan Hee. Never forget that, okay?”_

_A few hours passed and nightfall had begun to take place, but Chunji was restless._

_"Chunji," his father mumbled. "Go to sleep."_

_"Appa?"_

_"Hmm?"_

_"Umma used to call me Chunji didn’t she? Is that why you like it, too?"_

_"That and because it suits you."_

 

Once walking out of the palace’s front doors, Chunji skipped back to the stables, grinning at Jongup and Daehyun.

"My father’s fine with it, he even encouraged me to go. Maybe he’s tired of seeing me all the time." Chunji laughed. "Are we set to go, then?"

 

_~  
A few hours ago, at the village:_

Daylight had dawned some time ago, and Lilian wasn’t used to this. She wasn’t used to being alone. She wasn’t used to having to be the one to wake herself up, and she definitely wasn’t used to not having anywhere to sleep.

Hence why she hadn’t slept since she set off.

She knew things were going to be difficult, but she definitely underestimated just how difficult they were really going to turn out.

She’d visited the village before, but never had she visited it alone. So really took the time to let the view sink in.

The village was a very neat, concise little place.

Lines of houses at opposing ends, most small and cottage like, they—in comparison to the Palace—were very, very tiny.

But they looked homely, cosy.

Lived in.

Like a warm familiarity, a genuine comfort one could always turn back to and indulge in.

Something she’d never felt before.

She’d never known what homely felt like, nor cosiness. All she’d ever been surrounded with was explosive extravagance and extreme parties. Of publicized events and over the top family meetings.

It was a nice change, but there was something Lilian had prioritized above all else and that was the fact that she really didn’t want to be recognized, and so far the hood of her coat was working wonders but she knew it wouldn’t suffice forever. That there’d be someone somewhere who knew who she was, and what Palace type clothing looked like.

And they could easily rat her out.

So she needed new clothes as soon as possible and she also knew she needed some flat drinking flasks, so searched through the endless display of stalls, all offering different products.

It was literally a process of Lilian keeping her head down and looking just at the produce, never meeting anyone’s eyes.

After a good ten or twenty minutes she found the stall she was looking for. There on the display lay a perfect set of drinking flasks, small and portable, exactly what she needed.

She glanced up, and locked gazes with a light eyed, tall blonde girl.   
  
"Hello," she said, trying to disguise the tone of her voice in hopes that if she did, no one would recognize her.

It seemed she had no need, though, as the blonde behind the stall smiled, no display of recognition on her features. “Hello, how can we help you?”

"I." Lilian pulled her hood back an inch and winced, the light was too bright, and the lack of sleep was evidently getting to her. "—Want to buy these," she said as she placed the flat drinking flasks onto the stall table.

"Of course." The blonde took the flask from Lilian’s hands, packing them away into a paper bag. "Anything else?"

Lilian nodded. “Actually, there is.”

The blonde raised an eyebrow indicating Lilian continue.

"Do you… by any chance… sell clothes here, too?"

"We do, yes. They’re at the back however. Inside. I’ll have to go in and fetch them for you, if you tell me what it is you’re after?"

"A dark cloak or coat type piece, if you have anything like that? Something long and large with a hood that I can hide myself in."

"We’ll probably have something like that somewhere, I’ll be right back."

"Thank you," Lilian said as the blonde turned to go into her little cottage.

Once she returned, Lilian gave her a tired smile. “Thank you so much.”

"It’s no problem," the blonde insisted. "And sorry if this is unprofessional of me, but are you okay?"

Lilian bit her lip. “I honestly don’t know any more.” She sighed. “Also am I that obvious? Why does everyone know when I’m in a not so good mood?”

"This is just an observation and feel free to correct me if I’m wrong, but you seem like one of those people who have a natural sparkle to their eyes—my best friend Taemin does too. I guess because of that I find it easier to notice when it’s missing, even in other people, perhaps?"

"That’s probably it. Anyway thank you for asking…" Lilian trailed off, unsure of the girl’s name.

"I’m Anna," the blonde filled in.

"Thank you for asking, Anna." Lilian smiled. "I’m Lilian."

"Nice to meet you, Lilian."

"You too, Anna."

They shared a smile. And then were interrupted as a lean, lithe boy with dark brown hair came into the scene and rested his head onto the tall blonde’s shoulder. He then glanced over at the small black haired girl and smiled. “Hi,” he said. “How can we help you?” Mirroring the words his best friend had said a few moments ago.

"I’ve already asked her that. And already served her! What have you done today besides procrastinate, huh?"

Taemin puffed out his cheeks. “I ate an orange, thank you very much.”

Anna rolled her eyes. “You’re hopeless. Go back behind to what you were doing before. Life’s a lot more productive that way.”

Taemin pouted. “You’re mean.”

"Only because you’re a brat."

"No, you."

The blonde rolled her eyes. “Don’t start this, Taemin. You know I always win.”

"Fine, I’m going. God."

Lilian laughed. “You’re cute. Both of you. What’s his name?”

"That’s Taemin, the one I was talking about before. He’s my best friend."

A seemingly sad smile painted Lilian’s features.

"Are you okay?" Anna asked, noticing this.

"Oh, um, yes. I just… what you said made me think of my own best friend, Chunji. We didn’t really end on a good note though, so, heh." Before Anna could reply, Lilian placed some coins onto the stall. "Please accept all of it, thank you for serving me. Nice meeting you and goodbye." And with that, she was off.

Anna blinked. “H-how? There’s literally enough money here to keep Taemin and I living fruitfully for the next two weeks or even month…  _Wow.”_

 

~

Daehyun let Chunji and Jongup walk ahead of him a little bit, each walking with one of the horses. Or horse and two ponies. Daehyun had the horse, Chunji and Jongup both walking with a pony by their side as they held their reigns.

"Have you ever been to the village before?" Chunji asked Jongup excitedly, as he linked their arms.

Jongup tensed up at the contact, and Chunji quickly noted this, quickly letting go and apologizing.

"O-once or twice. But I was… very young."

"My dad and I used to live here at one point in our lives! I really loved it, everything about it. I probably have my happiest memories here." He smiled widely. "I love the village."

Daehyun watched them in interest, absorbing their words and mannerisms. Chunji was extremely animated in both body and tone of voice, Jongup was much less animated in body and had a very gentle quality to his voice and words. The variety and contrast between just these two individuals was extremely interesting to Daehyun.

"Daehyun?" Chunji then asked, snapping Daehyun out of his thoughts. "What about you? You said you have friends who live in the village, right? You used to live here too?"

Daehyun nodded. “Yes, and yes. I have two friends here, the ones we are bringing the horses to stay with.”

"De, Li and Lah," Jongup corrected. "That is their names. De is pronounced like  _deh_ , Li as in  _lie_  and Lah as  _Lah.”_

Daehyun nodded. “Lah, Li, De.”

"No," Jongup mumbled. "It has to be in the order I said. Del, Li, Lah. Otherwise it changes the name they all spell out together, they’re a team."

Chunji’s eyebrows furrowed together in concentration.  _"Deh…lie…lah?"_

 _"Delilah._  It was my mother’s English name. A-a very pretty name, she’d always say.”

 

"So how far is it from here?" Chunji asked, panting. "I think I’m… going… to… collapse."

Daehyun sent him a strange, undecipherable glance. “Not very far.”

Jongup laughed and it was the first time either of them had heard the sound, it was sweet, like bells chiming. “I think you’re too used to the Palace’s luxury, Chunji-hyung.”

Chunji smiled gently, already feeling affection for the younger boy.  _Chunji-hyung._  He’d never realized how much he wanted a little brother.  


 

"To your left, boys," Daehyun said, after some more walking. They ended up standing in front of a small stone cottage, with a thatched roof and a wooden door, currently closed. There was a small front yard in which a stall stood. That was all they could see for the front view.

"Wha— what, we’re here? We’re actually here? Right now?" Chunji let out a sigh of relief. "If we had to walk any more I’m sure I would’ve collapsed any time soon."

"I know it is a small living space in comparison to what you are used to with the Palace, but here we are. Mine and my two friends’ humble abode."

"No, no," Jongup said, shaking his head. He looked entranced at the small cottage. "It’s beautiful." 

"Yes," Chunji agreed. "It’s really cute, too. But do you people have enough room for the… uh...  _De-Li-Lah?”_

"There is a larger back garden, so yes." Daehyun turned towards them. "I will just go fetch my friends, okay?"

Chunji and Jongup nodded. Daehyun made his way down the pathway and into the porch, he tapped three times on the door and waited.

About a minute later, the door opened, revealing a tall blonde with a confused expression on her face. The confusion morphed into pure joy the minute she realized who was at the door. “Daehyun!” Anna exclaimed, lunging forward and jumping into his arms. She snuggled into his the nook between his collar bone and his neck and sighed. “I missed you,” she mumbled.

"Anna what are you—holy— _Daehyun?”_

"Hello Taeminnie."

Taemin squinted his eyes. “I’m not dreaming, am I?” He waved his hands in front of Daehyun’s face. “You’re really there? You’re not just a figment of my imagination, are you?”

Daehyun nodded. “I am really here.”

"I haven’t seen you in an entire month," Taemin whined. "Anna move out of the way, lemme hug him too!"

"No, I found him first."

"Actually—"

"Guys," Daehyun whispered, chuckling. "There is enough of me to go around, okay?"

"But no," Anna whined. "Because you’ll just disappear again and." She snuggled into his chest. "I don’t want that to happen."

"Shh," Daehyun cooed.

Taemin’s eyes were hopeful. “Are you back for good?”

Daehyun’s expression dimmed. “Unfortunately, no. I am not.”

Taemin’s shoulders deflated and he sighed. “Really? But you came to see us right? To stay for a while at least, right? Or is it something else entirely?”

"The latter I am afraid," Daehyun said, avoiding their eyes. "Please do not hate me. You know I would do anything to stay with you both, right?"

Taemin’s bottom lip began to quiver but he tried his hardest to suppress it. To hide it from Daehyun, and from Anna. If he had to be the official carer in Daehyun’s absence he knew he couldn’t allow himself any weakness. So putting a strong face on he turned to Daehyun and asked, “Okay. What is it, then? Why are you here?” He then took that time to glance out the door and his eyes widened to the size of saucers when he took in the two others’ presence. “And wait— who the hell are they? And what the—  _are those horses they’ve got with them?!”_

"These are my… friends from the Palace. Chunji and Jongup. We are here to ask you both a favor."

"Why have you slipped back out of contractions again?" Taemin asked, blinking at Daehyun.

"I’m sorry," Daehyun said. "They are relatively new to me and I—"

"No, no, it’s alright, I get it. Carry on."

Anna glanced up at Daehyun. “What is this favor are you’re asking of us, Hyunnie? Also you can put me down now if you’d like.” She giggled.

Daehyun had seemed to only just realize she was still in his arms and he chuckled sheepishly, placing her down onto the ground gently.

He turned to face both Taemin and Anna directly. “The Princess has gone missing. It is not safe out there in the current conditions. Myself, Chunji and Jongup have been sent on a mission to find and retrieve the Princess. Chunji and Jongup need my assistance because I know the area much better than they do—”

"Wait—" Anna began, accidentally interrupting Daehyun. _“Princess?_ The _Princess_ has gone missing?”

Chunji used this time to bring himself into the conversation. “Yes, the Princess. She’s little and really cute and has really dark hair, dark eyes too.”

Anna’s eyes widened in recognition. “I think I served her today. Earlier on. There was a girl who matched your description perfectly. Went by the name Lilian…?”

"Yes! Lilian. That’s her. And… really, you saw her, you served her?" Chunji rasped out all at one. "So she’s still alive, right? Has she changed? Does she look any different? Has her hair grown longer? Or did she cut it?—Oh god, please tell me she didn’t cut it all off… no, no."

"Chunji," Jongup reminded quietly. "She’s barely been gone a day. I doubt that so much has been able to change in that short span of time."

Chunji nodded. “Right…”

Anna also looked a little taken aback with all of the questions.

"Hey, jerk!" Taemin exclaimed suddenly, pointing at Chunji. "You’re making her uncomfortable with all of these questions! How the hell is she supposed to know all of that, didn’t you hear her? She said she _served_ her. Not that they shared life stories. Sheesh."

"Hey, Taemin!"

"What, Anna?!"

"Quit being a brat!"

"No, why don’t you?! It’s your fault I didn’t get to hug Daehyun!"

"Well nothing’s stopping you now!"

"Shut up!"

"No!"

"Guys—"

"Sorry Daehyun," they replied in unison.

Daehyun chuckled softly. “Can I continue now?”

They nodded at Daehyun sheepishly.

"Okay. So the Princess has gone missing and we need to go find her like I said. But the thing is… Jongup." Daehyun showed them Jongup, who waved shyly at both Taemin and Anna. "Looks after horses… and evidently we cannot take them with us as we don’t know for sure when we are coming back. But I trust you both, so you would two be up for taking them in for a while and looking after them?"

Anna nodded. “Of course.”

"Taemin?"

He was quiet for a while. “… I suppose.”

"Their names are De, Li and Lah." Daehyun looked towards Jongup for confirmation, who then nodded. "And it is very important that you refer to them in that order, okay?"

They both nodded.

"Then Jongup, since you are their owner, please feel free to guide them towards the back—possibly with the help of Chunji, if you would like. We have a large back garden, they should be fine. You can say your goodbyes to De, Li and Lah whilst you are back there, too."

Jongup nodded and lightly tugged at Chunji’s hand to pull him along with him.

Chunji grinned goofily at the cute action.

"Wait," Taemin muttered after they’d gone. "They’re not the ones you work for, are they? The ones who treat you like dirt on the sole of their shoe? And the girl Anna served—she isn’t either is she?"

"No," Daehyun said, laughing. "The ones you just saw were Chunji and Jongup, they are close friends of the youngest Princess from the neighbouring kingdom. She is very nice—the girl Anna supposedly served."

"Right," Taemin grumbled. "And the neighbouring kingdom, huh? That’s the one we have to give all our earnings to, isn’t it? We’re the ones that have to slave out here every day and night and work our butts off and they get all the profit from it with taxes, don’t they?"

"She did leave us a generous sum, though," Anna pointed out. "And besides, you brat,  _I_ do all the work.”

"So she pities us, then." Taemin scoffed. "That’s even worse. I  _hate_  being pitied. And shut up,” he grumbled.

Daehyun smiled fondly at them both. “Did anyone ever tell you just how adorable you both are?” He patted them both on the head. “Please always promise me to stay friends.”

"Even if he’s a brat the majority of the time," Anna grumbled. "I promise."

"Me too!" Taemin said grinning. "I promise to always be Anna’s friend. No matter what."

 

Once Chunji and Jongup returned they made their way over to Daehyun and sent an expectant glance his way. Or mainly, Chunji did. Jongup, on the other hand, kept staring back at the back garden, a sad longing in his eyes.

"Hey," Chunji whispered, noticing the boy’s expression. "It’s going to be okay, okay? They’re in good hands."

Jongup nodded. He walked over to Anna and Taemin. “Please look after them,” he said quietly. He then glanced up to meet their eyes. “Promise you will?”

"We promise," Anna said, smiling at Jongup.

"T-thank you," he mumbled, turning back around and walking back to Chunji, slightly hiding behind the elder’s coat.

Daehyun chewed at his lip, glancing at Taemin and Anna.

It took five seconds before Anna lunged at Daehyun again and wrapped herself around him. She held on for dear life and snuggled into the crook between his neck and collar bone once again.

"Anna," Daehyun whispered.

"No."

"Anna—"

"I’m not letting go."

The light blond laughed. “Please, Anna.”

"But if I let go that means you’re going to go and I don’t want you to go. Hyunnie, please don’t go. Don’t leave us again… it feels so  _wrong_  when you’re not here. It’s like we’re missing a part of ourselves and I.” She tried not to sniffle. “I miss you and I miss the bed time stories, too. Taemin tries to read them to me but he can’t take anything seriously and we end up having a pillow fight and—and— _"_

"How are you so precious," Daehyun asked. "Seriously. The both of you. You precious little people, you." He then blinded them with his genuine smile. Nothing looking out of place this time on his features. "I promise to come visit you both, though, okay? It may not be every day but I will try at least to see you every other day. I promise."

"We’ll hold you to that, then," they replied in unison, as Daehyun turned back towards Chunji and Jongup and asked the question that would make or break their fate from thereon out.

"Ready, boys?"


	15. Runaway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ySWVxTNUu0c

"One last thing before we go, then," It was Chunji who said this, as he captured Taemin and Anna’s attention. "The girl who you served earlier… did she at some point tell you her name? Was her name Lilian? — I realize our description of a small black haired girl with dark eyes is a little vague." He knew Anna had already mentioned it, but he needed to be sure.

Taemin scoffed. “You think?” He then shifted his weight onto his other foot. “You act as if we’re all supposed to know who she is just like that. What, just because we unfortunate souls live in the village and actually work hard to earn our livings, and you folks get to swim in the luxury of a Palace and have a title to your name, we’re expected to kiss the ground you walk on? Recognize you all when we’ve never even met any of you?—Actually attend crownings and parades and shit just because you’re Royal? If you do, I hope this is a wakeup call that not everyone is a mindless idiot who incessantly follows the crowd, and some people actually have the ability to think for themselves, regardless of your supposed influence.”

"Which brings me onto my next point. I also realize not everyone’s acquainted." He cast a glance at Taemin. "—Or  _fond_  of the Royal family, and it’s rude of me to presume you’ll all know who she is straight off the bat, just by my use of the Princess title, she has a similar line of thought on this topic, and people usually make it obvious in some form if they know of her title. So did she tell you her name?”

Anna nodded. “I distinctly remember her saying her name was Lilian, yes.”

"Then that pretty much settles it. Thank you very much, you’ve done everyone a great favor and pretty much the whole village and kingdom will be in your debt if we find her like we’re anticipating." He bowed ninety-degrees to them.

Taemin rolled his eyes, which made Chunji frown. “But they’ll never know we even helped you, will they? You’ll take all the credit.”

Chunji wanted to defend himself, to tell him that not everyone at the Palace pertained to that stereotypical image others had seemed to paint of them—and especially not Princess Lilian of all people—but he knew how stubborn some people could get, so chose not to, letting the lean brunette boy believe what he wanted.

Anna then turned towards Taemin. “But they _will_ be the ones who find her, so doesn’t it make sense that they’ll take the credit for it?”

Taemin didn’t reply to Anna and only turned his attention onto the lighter blond boy who was now stood beside Chunji. “Daehyun?” He asked.

Daehyun met Taemin’s eyes and smiled, knowing Taemin was going to ask a question.

"Is it okay if we close the shop up a little while earlier tomorrow? Anna and I have just recently built this tree swing in a nearby tree and we really want to try it out, plus also the tip Lilian gave us will probably keep us fully provided for two weeks to a month or so,  _so…”_

Chunji crossed his arms over his chest. “And you still believe she’s spoiled brat who believes she’s higher than you and would take your money from you?—Even with all the luxury she lives in?” He scoffed. “You evidently do not know Lilian at all. Because if you did, you’d be choking on your words right now.”

Taemin only raised an eyebrow. “No. I now think she pities us. Which is even worse.” Taemin then puffed out his cheeks and kept his sight set on Chunji. “But I get it. You’re a best friend, right? Of course you only have nice things to say about her, you only get to see the best side of her.”

"I only have nice things to say about her because there _are_ only nice things to say about her! She’s not a bad person. She can’t help the kind of family or riches she was born into, just as we can’t help the rags and non riches we were born into."

"You live in the Palace." Taemin scoffed. "What would  _you_  know about living in poverty?”

Chunji looked the other way. “More than you’ll ever realize,” he muttered before turning back to Taemin with a seemingly guarded expression, something that was out of the ordinary for Chunji. “Maybe you need to stop being so judgemental.”

Taemin only snorted. “What, are you actually going to whine about how hard you people have it now? How even those in the Palace have troubles and worries and that even in the land of luxury they still face difficulties?”

"And so what if I am? Does that bother you?"

"Not really." He blinked innocently up at Chunji. "It makes me laugh, actually. Pissing off Royal people-pleasers is my favorite thing, if I’m honest. And you’re clearly a people-pleaser, and a Royal affiliate."

Chunji took a deep breath to calm himself down. He was a person who didn’t get angry often, and could usually get along with everyone, but he couldn’t stand people who made judgemental assumptions. Especially when they had no idea what it was they were making judgemental assumptions about. Especially when they didn’t know the full extent of the truth.

This made Taemin’s eyebrow raise. “It’s even funnier when they pretend they’re not bothered by what I’m saying.”

"How can you be so spiteful?" Chunji opted for instead. 

"I’m not spiteful, I’m just being honest. Not everyone’s going to bow at your feet. Get used to it."

"What do you even know about us?" Chunji scoffed. "And I don’t expect you to bow at my feet. That’s only your preconceived assumption about me that’s making you believe that. Drop the preconceived notions. We’re not who you think we are."

Daehyun also frowned. “Yes, Taemin. I also believe you are jumping to the wrong conclusion too soon. They are not bad people.”

Taemin sighed as he processed Daehyun’s words. “Maybe. But how different can they be from the guy you work for, Daehyun? What was his name…”

 _"Jungshin,"_  Chunji filled in for Taemin. “You mean Jungshin.”

Taemin’s eyes darkened. “That one. I really don’t like that guy.”

"No one likes Jungshin," Chunji said. "Lilian can’t stand him."

"I remember the one and only Royal parade I ever showed up for," Taemin then said, grabbing the entire group’s attention. "It was enough to keep me away from the rest of them for life. The Jungshin guy — and even at a younger age, he accepted everything offered to him and more. No matter how obvious it was from the outside how much these people were struggling. He had no time for that. He then, by some wild off the bat chance, noticed and picked me out of the crowd—probably because I had no gift in my hands and therefore stood out—and then asked where my offering was. I told him I didn’t have one. He scoffed and told me how honored I should’ve been that I was even in his presence, and the fact that he acknowledged my existence, and that he wouldn’t speak to me without first being offered a gift so without a gift, I should run along like the peasant I was. He then proceeded to snatch an apple from a child in the crowd’s hands, which made the child cry. So I tapped him on the shoulder, and he turned back with a smirk probably thinking I’d ‘seen sense’ or whatever and gone and brought my gift for him from home, but he was mistaken because when I had his attention again, I took the apple back and handed it to the child before walking away. I decided that day I couldn’t stand Royals or anything they represented."

"Taemin," Daehyun said, sounding a little worried. "You must keep in mind that not all Royal people are the same."

"Well I’ve seen enough examples to disprove that statement, so…" He turned the other way, but directed his speech to Chunji. "Anyway, whatever. Go find your Princess." He waved his hand in a dismissive manner. "We’ll look after the horses, don’t worry about it."

Daehyun smiled, before walking over and enveloping Taemin and Anna in a goodbye hug. “I will be back to see you both soon, okay? Look after yourselves.”

"So we can close early tomorrow then?" Taemin asked hopefully. His nose then crinkled. "And I’m only a month younger than you, we’ll be fine."

Daehyun nodded. “Of course.” Daehyun then ruffed Taemin’s brunette hair as he laughed. “And yes, of course. But remember that a month to one could easily be a century to another.”

Taemin’s nose crinkled even more. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Taemin asked to no one in particular as Daehyun, Chunji and Jongup began to make their way further down the village, turning around to wave goodbye to Anna and Taemin.

 

Taemin thought about it for a good while, sitting down on the porch step just before their door. “Is he calling me immature?” He asked as he turned to Anna.

Anna shrugged as she sat down beside him. “Perhaps he means it literally.”

Taemin snorted loudly. “I hope you’re not being serious. How could he  _literally_  be a century older than me? It’s not possible.”

Anna tapped her foot against the floor. “I don’t know. Maybe I’m over thinking it but…” She trailed off before stopping short. “Never mind.” 

"No. Go on," Taemin said, turning to face her.

Anna tapped her fingers on the material covering her leg. “I’ve always had a… vibe about Daehyun. Not a weird one but… I don’t know. It’s hard to explain.”

Taemin propped his elbows on his knees and then placed his hands under his chin, as he glanced at her intently. “Well you can’t start explaining just to stop, and you can’t get me intrigued about something just to leave me hanging.” He pouted.

Anna sighed. “He’s just… so  _wise._  That’s the only way I can really put it, I guess.  It’s like he’s from a different world, sometimes. Like he knows things no one else does and… I just feel really safe around him, too, I suppose. It’s different.  _He’s_  different. Everything about him is so different.”

"You just sound like you have a crush on him to me," Taemin said chuckling. "Also you know what last happened when you last got a vibe about something…" The lean brunette boy seemed to shudder as he said this, seeming to remember something.

"But I was right, wasn’t I?"

"Well yeah but…  _ugh.”_

"Hey!" Anna said, grumbling. _“You_  were the one who attacked him!” 

"I had to get the cat back somehow!" He scoffed. "And you never even thanked me! I had to climb a damn tree to get her down and then the minute she was back on the ground she sneaked off and ended up getting enticed by some cat smuggler just because he said she was pretty! What a weak idiotic little thing." He wasn’t going to admit he was secretly attached to the kitten. "Then I had to chase the guy and literally attack him to get her back!"

"Take. that. back."

"Take what back?" Taemin asked, feigning ignorance.

"UFO is not a ‘weak idiotic little thing’ and you know it. Take it back."

"Yeah, and what are you going to do if I don’t?"

"Kill you whilst you’re sleeping."

Taemin rolled his eyes. “Likely.”

Anna raised a challenging eyebrow. “I  _totally_  could. You’d never know what had gotten you before it was too late and I was creeping over your freshly awoken self, and in a spilt second have you pinned under me gasping for air as I choke you to death.”

"I’m a dancer, remember? I could easily manoeuvre a way out before you could choke me. And then pin you down and break your arm and fling you over my shoulder and then go outside and bury you alive in the back garden and let the horses poop over where you’re buried."

Anna scoffed. “As if you’d really go through with it.”

"As if you’d really go through with what you said, either!"

They pouted at each other, but seemed to come to an unspoken mutual agreement nonetheless.

"No but really," Taemin then said after a comfortable silence, leaning onto her shoulder. "I really am glad you’re my best friend."

"Pft," Anna said as she tried to hide her smile. "You’re just trying to buy me back with compliments after you threatened to kill me. You know the only way to win me back is by making me food or buying me a new cat."

Taemin grumbled to himself. “First of all I promised to bury you  _alive,_  you threatened to kill  _me_  first, and cats are extremely violent when I’m in vicinity apparently, and I can’t cook.”

"Why do I even keep you around?"

Taemin grinned at her, teeth and all. “Because I’m adorable.”

Anna flicked him on the forehead. “Even that’s debatable.”

Taemin pouted.  _"You’re_  debatable.” He then pushed himself up a little. “Should we, uh… go acquaint ourselves with the horses then?”

"De, Li and Lah, remember?"

Taemin rolled his eyes.

Anna laughed at his expression. “Well, let’s go. I’m pretty sure this is going to be an experience and a half, what with your track record with animals.”

"Dogs," Taemin muttered. "I can work with dogs! Why must we have every other animal under the sun but never dogs?"

Anna chuckled but didn’t reply, instead choosing to walk ahead of Taemin, making her way into their back garden. Taemin ‘hmphed’ and followed behind her sullenly.

 

~

_Sneaking out at night was exhilarating, a concept that was extremely new to Lilian. Even if she wasn’t exactly fond of the dark, and definitely preferred day time—that couldn’t be helped at the current moment in time—there was something exceedingly thrilling and exhilarating about being awake in the darkest hours of the night, bordering on morning. Especially as a Princess. A Princess who had been assisted everywhere and told where and when she could go anywhere._

_Like her first chance at rebellion._

_However, there was still quite a trek before she’d be safely set to begin her actual journey as she’d currently only just left her bedroom via her double glass doors and balcony. She’d quickly and efficiently descended the stairs via her twirled staircase, making sure to place her feet lightly onto the ground so she wouldn’t be heard._

_By anyone inside or out._

_Tiptoeing onto the path towards the front of the Palace in the dark, she contemplated going to see Jongup but at the very last moment, decided against it._

_If she wasn’t taking Chunji, would it be fair to take Jongup? That, and she knew Jongup wouldn’t leave De, Li and Lah, the names of his horses. Horses were risky because they were loud and the last thing Lilian needed was to be caught out right now, to alert the Guards to her presence. As much as she wanted someone with her, her two best friends weren’t an option because one she’d just had a not so pretty argument with and the other was probably sound asleep and never got enough sleep to begin with, and in such would mean she’d have to do two things: one, wake him… which would then lead her to feel extremely guilty. And two, convince him not to take the horses with him, and if Lilian knew Jongup at all, she knew wouldn’t leave his horses behind._

_And not leaving the horses behind would result in a much higher probability or being caught before she’d even left the Palace’s premises—the worst case scenario._

_The same reason she just had to lie to and upset her best friend of many years._

_As much as she cared about Jongup and Chunji, she couldn’t allow herself to take the risks of letting them go with her. As much as she disliked being alone for too long a time, she knew she had to grin and bear it._

_So she decided she would._

_Sneaking to the front of the Palace was easier than she anticipated, but she soon realized that was because the Palace Guards were on their quick ten-to-twenty minute break. The startling realization that they could come back at any time hit Lilian, as she had no idea as to when their break started._

_She rolled her eyes at the thought of one of the Palace Guards, Chul-Moo. The same Guard who patrolled on the floor where her bedroom was, the same Guard who enjoyed bragging about his ‘battle scars’ and telling her ‘scary’ tales about the village and a supposed forest near the village that she’d never seen with her own eyes so had no idea as to its authenticity, or whether it was all made up by Chul-Moo himself._

_She scoffed at the thought of him battling a supposed ‘Rogue’ with their reputation, if they really did exist, that was. There’d always been something about Chul-Moo she couldn’t trust, and even if she’d never really voiced her ill thoughts to his face, she knew that he knew she wasn’t very fond of him. Or probably. She decided it’d be completely belittling for her if it was him who eventually thwarted all of her escape-the-Palace plans and find her._

_So with that thought in mind, turned in the opposite direction and began making her way down into the Palaces’ large garden. Even if it meant taking the longer, darker route around the back, Lilian knew that it was potentially her only way. So as she made her way down the seemingly never ending acres of land, she finally made her way towards her destination._

_Latching her fingers around the thick blocks, she began to climb the fence to the best of her ability, trying her hardest not make a sound or put a rip in her clothes with the jagged stone edges of the wall._

_Things were going well in that department as she ascended her way further and further up. Unfortunately, that seemed it wouldn’t be the case forever, as just as she was reaching the top of the fence and placing her foot on the wall on the other side, her leg caught on a jagged edge and she hissed. From the pain she could tell she’d at least scraped her leg somehow._

_Hoping it wasn’t bleeding, she placed her focus on fully getting both legs over the fence, which took a bit of effort but she eventually did it. She then set her sights on descending the tall stone wall, which at the front, had smooth edges._

_Finally after what felt like forever—he was nearing the bottom of the wall. Deciding to go for it, she dropped down the rest of the distance, which turned out to not be much at all. She landed on her feet, uninjured. She was close to congratulating herself on her precise judge of distance, in all honesty._

_She then turned to her front and began to make her way down the pavement. And even if she left the premises with a heavy heart alone without either of her best friends by her side, she reminded herself that Chunji was better off hurt and alive than dead. That Jongup wouldn’t have assisted her without the horses, and in current circumstances she definitely couldn’t take the horses._

_So going alone genuinely was her only option and if she repeated that to herself daily, she’d eventually start to believe it._

_Eventually start to get used to it._

_Maybe some time alone with only herself and her thoughts would help her grow, would help her clear her mind._

_She was sure it would do something, anyway. And that this journey, wherever it may lead her, would at least be an interesting, learning experience for her._

 

  
_Finding a place to rest that night, on the other hand, had been the most draining and difficult experience Lilian had ever faced in all of her years._

 

 

_Daylight had dawned some time ago, and Lilian really wasn’t used to this. She wasn’t used to being alone. She wasn’t used to having to be the one to wake herself up, and she definitely wasn’t used to not having anywhere to sleep._

_Hence why she hadn’t slept since she set off._

_She knew things were going to be difficult, but she definitely underestimated just how difficult they were really going to turn out._

_She’d visited the village before, but never had she visited it alone. So really took the time to let the view sink in._

_The village was a very neat, concise little place._

_Lines of houses at opposing ends, most small and cottage like, they—in comparison to the Palace—were very, very tiny._

_But they looked homely, cosy._

_Lived in._

_Like a warm familiarity, a genuine comfort one could always turn back to and indulge in._

_Something she’d never felt before._

_She’d never known what homely felt like, nor cosiness. All she’d ever been surrounded with was explosive extravagance and extreme parties. Of publicized events and over the top family meetings._

_It was a nice change, but there was something Lilian had prioritized above all else and that was the fact that she really didn’t want to be recognized, and so far the hood of her coat was working wonders but she knew it wouldn’t suffice forever. That there’d be someone somewhere who knew who she was, and what Palace type clothing looked like._

_And they could easily rat her out._

_So she needed new clothes as soon as possible and she also knew she needed some flat drinking flasks, so searched through the endless display of stalls, all offering different products._

_It was literally a process of Lilian keeping her head down and looking just at the produce, never meeting anyone’s eyes._

_After a good ten or twenty minutes she found the stall she was looking for. There on the display lay a perfect set of drinking flasks, small and portable, exactly what she needed._

_She glanced up, and locked gazes with a light eyed, tall blonde girl._

_"Hello," she said, trying to disguise the tone of her voice in hopes that if she did, no one would recognize her._

_It seemed she had no need, though, as the blonde behind the stall smiled, no display of recognition on her features. “Hello, how can we help you?”_

_"I." Lilian pulled her hood back an inch and winced, the light was too bright, and the lack of sleep was evidently getting to her. "—Want to buy these," she said as she placed the flat drinking flasks onto the stall table._

_"Of course." The blonde took the flask from Lilian’s hands, packing them away into a paper bag. "Anything else?"_

_Lilian nodded. “Actually, there is.”_

_The blonde raised an eyebrow indicating Lilian continue._

_"Do you… by any chance… sell clothes here, too?"_

_"We do, yes. They’re at the back however. Inside. I’ll have to go in and fetch them for you, if you tell me what it is you’re after?"_

_"A dark cloak or coat type piece, if you have anything like that? Something long and large with a hood that I can hide myself in."_

_"We’ll probably have something like that somewhere, I’ll be right back."_

_"Thank you," Lilian said as the blonde turned to go into her little cottage._

_Once she returned, Lilian gave her a tired smile. “Thank you so much.”_

_"It’s no problem," the blonde insisted. "And sorry if this is unprofessional of me, but are you okay?"_

_Lilian bit her lip. “I honestly don’t know any more.” She sighed. “Also am I that obvious? Why does everyone know when I’m in a not so good mood?”_

_"This is just an observation and feel free to correct me if I’m wrong, but you seem like one of those people who have a natural sparkle to their eyes—my best friend Taemin does too. I guess because of that I find it easier to notice when it’s missing, even in other people, perhaps?"_

_"That’s probably it. Anyway thank you for asking…" Lilian trailed off, unsure of the girl’s name._

_"I’m Anna," the blonde filled in._

_"Thank you for asking, Anna." Lilian smiled. "I’m Lilian."_

_"Nice to meet you, Lilian."_

_"You too, Anna."_

_They shared a smile. And then were interrupted as a lean, lithe boy with dark brown hair came into the scene and rested his head onto the tall blonde’s shoulder. He then glanced over at the small black haired girl and smiled. “Hi,” he said. “How can we help you?” Mirroring the words his best friend had said a few moments ago._

_"I’ve already asked her that. And already served her! What have you done today besides procrastinate, huh?"_

_Taemin puffed out his cheeks. “I ate an orange, thank you very much.”_

_Anna rolled her eyes. “You’re hopeless. Go back behind to what you were doing before. Life’s a lot more productive that way.”_

_Taemin pouted. “You’re mean.”_

_"Only because you’re a brat."_

_"No, you."_

_The blonde rolled her eyes. “Don’t start this, Taemin. You know I always win.”_

_"Fine, I’m going. God."_

_Lilian laughed. “You’re cute. Both of you. What’s his name?”_

_"That’s Taemin, the one I was talking about before. He’s my best friend."_

_A seemingly sad smile painted Lilian’s features._

_"Are you okay?" Anna asked, noticing this._

_"Oh, um, yes. I just… what you said made me think of my own best friend, Chunji. We didn’t really end on a good note though, so, heh."Before Anna could reply, Lilian placed some coins onto the stall. "Please accept all of it, thank you for serving me. Nice meeting you and goodbye." And with that, she was off._

_Anna blinked. “H-how? There’s literally enough money here to keep Taemin and I living fruitfully for the next two weeks or even month… Wow.”_

 

~

It was just after Lilian had scooted away from the tall blonde girl and her stall, did it actually dawn on her just how much a mess she’d gotten herself into and just how lost she actually was. “I don’t know where I’m going,” she muttered as she winced. “I don’t even know who I am right now, obviously there’s a reason people sleep.”

Deciding to squat by the side of a village stall that was currently unoccupied, she wiggled until she found a comfortable position.

"Honestly," she mumbled. "The village isn’t even that interesting. There’s nothing to do."

She then nodded at herself, humming lightly. “However the freedom and anonymity is extremely nice. I could get used to this.”

"Fuck," she then said, laughing as the word left her mouth. "I even have the freedom to say something like that. I wonder how my family would react if they heard me say that in public, or even at all." She flipped her long black hair over her shoulder, sighing.  "Why won’t they let Princesses be who they are instead of forcing us to pertain to some ridiculously constructed image of stereotypical ‘perfection’? Rather than aspire to be demure and soft spoken, why can’t I aspire to be, well, anything else? To voice my opinions in regards to Palace matters and have them be taken seriously?  Why aren’t we allowed to explore and expand our imaginations and world view. Why can’t I just develop as me, as opposed to who it is they want me to be?" She slumped her shoulders and sighed. "I’m so tired of all of this."

"I sound like a crazy person talking to myself like this," she then muttered when she realized she actually was still outside and even if she was in a more secluded area, people could eventually walk past. "Oh well, who cares what they think."

She tugged at her shoelace before impatiently tapping her foot against the floor. “I think I’m going to faint.  I’m feeling so tired.”

She shuffled into a sleeping position, laying on her side. But gave up after a minute and pulled her body back into a sitting position. “How am I supposed to sleep on the floor?” She asked. “Especially when it’s going to get dark soon and it’ll be scary and full of insects, and what… what if Chul-Moo wasn’t joking about the village and the forest stories and it really is that scary a place at night?—What if I actually bump into a Rogue?!—What if they actually are cannibals?—Well you know what, Jungshin?!” Her voice raised, even though she knew no one could hear her. “I hate you and I hate your guts and it’s your entire fault that I’m not tucked into my nice warm bed right now and that Chunji’s probably cried himself to sleep and hates me just as much as I hate you and—” She slid up further to the wall, her back now perched against it and pulled her legs up to her chest, realizing it was all her fault too. “I’m a bad friend. How the hell could I say the things I said to him, especially knowing how much his mother means to him and just how nice his dad is and after everything we’ve been through and how many awful things I said that he genuinely thought I meant and… why couldn’t he see through the act—oh god—I really am horrible. What am I supposed to do? Who do I turn to? Most importantly, where the hell am I supposed to sleep?! Aah. I hate this.”

Lilian tried once more to find a comfortable sleeping position on the ground, but once again, realized where she currently was wasn’t ever going to be comfortable enough and was probably dangerous for a number of reasons. One, she was outside and could’ve been found at any given time had someone just pull away her hood. Two, it was cold and minus the intentionally oversized cloak she’d just bought, she had no other source of warmth or protection from the cold. Three, she was so used to Palace luxury and pristine conditions that this grubby little corner of a wall she was leaned against, if she spent a whole night there just like that, would probably make her ill. That, and she didn’t know what kinds of bad bacteria could be manifesting where she currently was.

She lifted herself up onto her feet and grumbled. “Guess I’ll just have to start my journey early and with no sleep then, hm?”

She was just about to turn the corner and do exactly as stated, until a faint sound of laughter reverberated through the air and made her scoot back up against the wall. She watched as a group of three walked past in the near distance, two of the three dressed in rich, silk-like Royal red pieces of clothing matching the colors of home, the colors matching that of  _her_  home. One of the two had more tattered, less bright clothes in comparison to the other but it was still evident that they belonged to her Palace. Plus it wasn’t unusual that some workers ended up dirtying their clothes a bit, knowing how often most of the Guards were outside, it would’ve been a stranger concept for them to have pristine clothes twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. She couldn’t see their faces so she didn’t know who they were, but her nose crinkled at the sight of them. “Royals.” She then scoffed as her eyes trailed over the third person, who was wearing the opposite royal blue silk clothing, the only thing that was indicating was that they belonged to the opposite kingdom, which meant Jungshin or a minion of Jungshin. “And they’re consorting with the enemy already, huh? Acting like they’re already _so_ close?! It’s probably all for the publicized events and to gather interest from villagers.”

Lilian sighed. “Where am I supposed to sleep? I can’t sleep out here and I’d be such a baby if I went slithering back to Palace after going through with every preparation to get out of the damn place and then it’s getting too dark to know where I’m going and this supposed forest—that I still haven’t seen with my own eyes by the way—is apparently really dangerous and if there are cannibals lurking around then—” She leaned her head against the wall and closed her eyes as let out the longest most frustrated sounding sigh. Her eyes then snapped back open and it was as if a light bulb had gone off in her mind. “Unless— unless… maybe it’s crazy—and I shouldn’t expect anything— but maybe I could go knock on the door of those who just served me and ask if I could possibly stay the night? —They seemed like nice enough people and—and— but… no because that would be intrusive and they have every right to refuse me.” She sighed. “Perhaps I could maybe, quite possibly, potentially—you know—sneak into their garden and camp out there for a night? They’d never have to know..."

She nodded her head at herself as a strict affirmation and began to march towards the stall she’d bought some items from not so long since. Checking that the coast was clear—which it was—she stealthily made her way into the garden where the small cottage like home lay, and slid up against its wall as she tiptoed towards the back and into the back garden. 

The fact that the back garden was much larger than the front was the first thing that Lilian noticed. In both width and length. There was a tall tree standing towards the bottom end of the back garden, a tree-house laying securely on a wide branch that was quite high up on the tree. Attached to the cut out point for the door lay a long ladder that rolled down to touch the bottom of the ground, which as she stared at the tree-house in both wonder and in awe, realized that if she wanted to stay here, sheltered, she’d have to climb it.

She was so entranced and in relief at the sight of the tree-house and the fact that it had a ladder, that she barely had time to notice the fact that she wasn’t alone.

Currently unaware of the fact that she’d caught both the attention of blonde girl who served her and her brunette friend.

Almost as if she was in a trance, her feet began to move towards the tree and made her way towards the ladder that was nothing if not temptation at that current moment in time. Lilian was delighted at the prospect of actual sleep and not having to sleep on the cold, dirty ground, the tree-house and its ladder were like a godsend.

Someone then cleared their throat.

Lilian’s entire face contorted into a cringe as she turned to face the tall blonde and brunette. The blonde looked mildly amused, a flash of recognition also lining her features and the brunette—clearly the one who’d cleared their throat—merely crossed his arms over his chest and quirked an eyebrow at the Princess.

"Oh!" Lilian exclaimed, gaping at the sight of them. "I— uh, I—" She said, fumbling with the ropes at the end of the ladder.

Taemin only raised his eyebrow a little more at this, and in that moment in time it was the most intimidating thing the Princess had ever witnessed in all of her years.

Rather than reply she did the first thing her mind told her to. She let go of the ropes of the ladder and threw her cloak off of herself and dropped to the floor before throwing the cloak back over her body. She remained as still as a statue underneath the material, barely even breathing.

She heard light footsteps make their way over, but didn’t move an inch. It was too risky, the whole set-up was risky… why hadn’t she looked left and right before making her way down the steps and towards the ladder hanging down from the tree-house? She wanted to cry.

But more than anything, she wanted to sleep.

It wasn’t long before the footsteps faded, finding their destination in front of her. Soon enough a hand clamped down on one side of the cloak material, and Lilian’s eyes narrowed. Lilian grasped the other side and held it down firmly, using her other hand to firmly hold down the side that the hand had been trying to lift. In the end it proved to be no use, as they just moved towards the back corners and lifted them easily, pulling the rest of the cloak out of Lilian’s hands.

Lilian winced and curled up further into a ball. It was cold.

She needed that cloak.

"What are you doing?" The voice didn’t sound very intimidating, just slightly perplexed and humored. Lilian could tell it was the boy just by his voice, however.

"I—I’m a rock," she struggled. "You didn’t see me. Pretend you didn’t see me, I'll pay you in all the treasures you request. I’ll be gone in the morning, I swear it. No one will ever have to know I was here."

"Actually," Taemin said, seeming to smirk a little. "If we’ve been informed correctly, you’re a run away _Princess._  We  _should_  be returning you home.”

"No," Lilian said quickly. "Please don’t do that." She jumped onto her feet, a frantic expression painting her features.

"And why not, huh? Shouldn’t we charge you with trespassing also? Or are Princesses excluded from those kinds of laws?—Will they pay us off, huh? We _could_ use the money, if I’m honest."

"Shut up, Taemin." Anna made her way over. "Stop with your empty threats, when we both know you won’t do anything. Not really."

Taemin’s eyes narrowed. “How would  _you_  know?”

Anna rolled her eyes at her childish best friend. “Because even if you won’t admit it, you’re interested in the reasons as to why she’s here and what’s going on in the Palace to make her run away, aren’t you? At least let Lilian explain herself. I’m sure she has a reason.”

Taemin’s nose crinkled. “Smartass.”

"Brat."

Lilian seemed to foresee the bicker appear and was set to use this time to escape and run away from the garden and those she’d bought items from earlier on, who at that time seemed like the nicest people in the world. Different, too. Maybe that was just their façade for their customers. Perhaps behind closed doors, they were just like everyone else seemed to be. Ready to sell her out the first chance they got for power and fame. Something like disappointment twinged in her stomach and she wanted to curse herself for thinking otherwise.

Trying to push this thought to the back of her mind she set her sights on making a run for it, she tried to be as quiet as possible as she turned around. She was just about to begin running away, until something stopped her in her tracks.

"Nu-uh," Taemin said almost playfully as he swiftly grabbed onto her arm and pulled her close to him. "I don’t think so."

Lilian squeezed her eyes shut, wanting to sink into the ground.

Taemin then tapped his foot impatiently on the ground, quirking an eyebrow at the Princess—whose arm he still had a hold of. “Then like Anna suggested, explain. Tell us why you’re here and why it’s our garden in particular that’s been blessed with your almighty Royal presence.” His last few words with dripping with sarcasm. “I’m listening.”

Lilian twiddled with her thumbs, avoiding eye contact with either person standing before her. “I… where do I begin?”

"Wherever you feel best," Taemin muttered. "I could care less about the order of the sequence of events I just want to know what you’re doing here and why. Also why you ran away from the Palace—the supposed land of luxuries."

Anna sighed, casting a tired look at her best friend. She then turned to Lilian. “The beginning would be the best place to start?”

Lilian nodded. “Probably.” She then chewed on her lip. “Well, um… first though would it be okay if we, uh… go inside? I’m really cold and tired and I just—really need a place to sit and I really don’t want to intrude but…” She sighed, stopping there.

Anna nodded and Taemin was about to open his mouth and sprout a snarky reply before Anna sent him a look. Taemin sighed and also nodded, directing the three of them inside his and Anna’s house, but not before passing Lilian the cloak back and making sure she’d wrapped it around herself securely.

 

The inside of the house was small, evidently. But it was also pretty. Small and compact, but wrapped in a blanket of warmth that couldn’t be replicated for miles because it already belonged to someone. Was already claimed by someone. It couldn’t be undone by just anyone, in fact, it seemed the only ones who could strip the house away of its character were the ones to give it such character and familiarity in the first place. Remnants of these two individuals scattered around the house and in every corner, traces of them could be identified. Uniquely. From the placement of the curtains to the frame sitting on the wall above the fireplace.

To the chip in the paint of the wall, to the way they’d aligned the firewood.

The house was lived in.

They had no one to impress, except their own creativities, so could do anything they wanted to the place.

Lilian liked that.

It was simply them. Simply Taemin, simply Anna.

Taemin directed Lilian to sit down beside him, and Anna went to make them all a drink, which Lilian couldn’t have been more thankful for at that moment.

"So," Taemin trailed off, tucking his legs neatly underneath his body on his sitting space. It was at a weird looking angle and Lilian couldn’t help but ponder as to how uncomfortable he must have felt. She quirked an eyebrow at his strange sitting position. "What?" He then asked, noticing her questioning stare.

"You sit…"

"Weirdly?" He laughed. "I know. I don’t know why to be perfectly honest, I guess it’s a habit. I’ve always done it. For as long as I can remember."

"Is it not uncomfortable?"

"Not really. And when it does get uncomfortable I just change positions. Anyway," he ‘tsked’, realizing he was going off topic. "You. We’re here to talk about you. Tell me."

"Shouldn’t we wait for Anna?"

"Eh, maybe a couple of minutes without her will do us some good." He then lowered his voice and said in a hushed whisper to Lilian, "she’s a brat anyway."

"I heard that!" Anna called from the kitchen. "Anyway, I’m listening in. Carry on."

Taemin sent Lilian a smile and small shrug of his shoulders as if to say ‘there you go’. Lilian nodded, shuffling a little to get more comfortable in her seat. “Well, if you want me to go from the beginning I can, I just… I don’t know. I don’t really think there’s a lot to tell?”

Taemin waved his hand in a relaxed manner at her. “Just go with it.”

Lilian nodded. “Okay. Um, well, I’m the Princess. Obviously. I’m the youngest daughter of three, meaning I have an elder brother and a sister. I was born in December 1795—”

Taemin blinked. “You’re younger than me,” he suddenly exclaimed, accidentally interrupting her.

"Is that surprising?" Lilian asked, grumbling. "I’m younger than everyone."

Taemin’s eyes twinkled playfully. “I used to think that, too. And then I met Anna. She’s pretty much the maknae of all maknaes.”

Lilian blinked. “Is she younger than me, too?”

"1797," Anna answered, as she brought the drinks in and set them on the table. She then sat down on the other side of Taemin. "In July. That’s when I was born."

Lilian was the one to blink in surprise at this. “But you seem so… mature.” She shook her head. “I’m surprised. What about you Taemin, what year were you born?”

"July, 1793."

Lilian nodded. “You’re also older than my brother, then. The Prince.”

Taemin’s eyes flickered with something. “It’s not Jungshin is it? Your brother?”

Lilian snorted. “Not at all. My brother’s not Jungshin.”

This seemed to pique Taemin’s interest. “Then what is the deal with you and Jungshin? I’ve been curious about it for a while now.”

Anna’s interest seemed to pique at this question also. “Yes,” Anna said. “From what we’ve heard you don’t seem to like each other very much.”

Then she, like Taemin, waited for the Princess to speak.

Lilian scoffed. She turned her sights to the table and picked up her cup, taking a sip. “It’s nice,” she said to Anna, smiling. “And the thing with Jungshin and I… we’re.” She scowled. “…Kind of engaged.”

Taemin’s nose crinkled. “Kind of?”

"How can you be  _kind of_  engaged to a person, Lilian?” Anna asked, genuinely curious.

"Well… it’s…" Lilian sighed. "It’s an arranged marriage. He’s the Prince of the opposite kingdom, right? I’m the youngest daughter of this kingdom. For some reason or other they’ve decided that he needs to get married soon and obviously since he’s such a bigot he won’t settle for anything other than Royal blood. They went into further detail about combinations of power and stuff like that but to be quite honest I stopped paying attention to anything Jungshin related a long, long time ago. I could care less how he feels about me or the marriage. Regardless of connecting bonds or not, I'm kind of at a point where I refuse to marry him. And if it means running away, so be it."

"But…" Anna trailed off. "If you have an elder sister, can’t she do it?—I’m presuming she and Jungshin are closer in age, also? Unless your sister is already married to someone?"

"That’s what I was thinking. And she’s not, but even then it apparently has to be me. They didn’t explain the reason as to why. My mother literally—or maybe not literally but you get my point—came in one day and was like ‘Lilian now you’re sixteen you’re ready to get married. I’ve found you a husband. Aren’t you excited?’… it all makes me feel sick to my stomach to be perfectly honest. What sixteen--boarding on seventeen--year old wants to get married? What sixteen year old wants to be cooped up in a Palace all day and told what she can and can’t wear, what she can and can’t eat, where she can and can’t go?--I've never lived. Everyone seems to have this image that a Princesses’ life is perfect, but it couldn’t be any further from the truth. Everything is decided for me. I don’t get a say in anything. I’m like a breathing doll. I don’t want it, I have to get away before I go insane."

Taemin seemed to be staring at Lilian intently as she was saying that and in all honestly it had started to make Lilian feel uneasy. “What?” She asked, feeling a little self concious, though she’d never really admit that out loud.

"You’re just… different than I expected," Taemin mumbled, cheeks tinting pink a little at the realization he really was wrong about the Princess.

Anna turned to him, smirking. “Which Daehyun told you. Which Chunji told you. Which even I hinted at. I think you owe the Princess an apology.”

Taemin nodded, frowning a little. “You’re right. I was wrong, wrong about everything. I’m sorry for misjudging you and jumping too quickly to the conclusion from a preconceived notion that I have about all Royal people being the same and therefore thinking you would be, too. I’m sorry.”

"Wait," Lilian began, as she froze. "Daehyun…? C-Chunji? They were here?" She began to shake her head frantically and before she knew it she was up on her feet and moving backwards until she was backed up against the wall. "N-no, that can’t be right…"

Both Taemin and Anna looked worried now. “Is there something wrong with that, Lilian?” Anna asked. “Daehyun, Chunji and Jongup were all here. They were asking about you, inquiring about you and if we knew anything about you.”

"J-Jongup too?!" She shook her head. "B-but no—because his horses… he wouldn’t… not without—"

Anna nodded. “They’re out the back. We were just checking on them when you sneaked into the back garden earlier. The reason why we found you actually.”

"And Daehyun lives here," Taemin added.

Lilian gulped. “L-looking for me?—And Daehyun lives here…? W-why… unless you’re the two village friends he was talking about before. I’m—oh my god. I shouldn’t be here. I can’t be here. No. This is all wrong.” She began to move in the direction of the front door, hands seeming to tremble as she did.

"Hey," Taemin said, getting to his feet. He gently grabbed a hold of her arm and lead her back to sit down. "Lilian, calm down. We’re not here to hurt you. They’ve all gone now. It’s just Anna and myself and uh... De, Li and Lah."

"But—"

"Just sit down."

She did. After a few minutes she turned back to them. “Why were they here? Did you tell them anything?”

"Yes," Anna said. "They asked about you and your friend Chunji gave us a description of you and asked if we’d seen you and we told them we served you earlier."

Lilian paled. “Why?”

Anna blinked. “Because…”

"Because they’re your friends and they asked! Why else?" Taemin.

Lilian curled up a bit. “But no…”

Taemin crossed his arms over his chest. “And why not?”

"Because I’m a horrible friend and." She pulled her knees up to her chest. "Chunji should hate me. Why would they go searching for me?"

"Look," Taemin began, patting Lilian’s knee as if to comfort her. "I don’t know what went down with the Chunji guy but it must’ve been something for you to call yourself a horrible friend. I’m not even going to ask because it’s your own business and whatever, but trust me when I say that the Chunji guy was determined to find you and to search for you. All three of them were."

Lilian looked extremely perplexed. “I—”

"You should probably go rest," Taemin said. "You look really tired."

Lilian nodded, agreeing with him. “I think you’re right.”

"There are two rooms upstairs. Anna’s and I's and the last room on the end is Daehyun’s, but he hasn’t been in it recently because he’s been sleeping at the Palace, so I've been using it."

Lilian’s eyes then trailed to the tree-house outside of the window, seeming to be inspecting it intently.

"And that," Taemin said pointing. "Wasn’t there before Daehyun came to live with us. The story behind it is a little questionable too so I won’t be surprised if after I’m finished you think I’m crazy. One night we went to bed, without it there—everything was normal, nothing out of the ordinary. And then the next morning, it was there. In complete condition, polished and everything. It’s Daehyun’s tree-house and he used to sleep in it before, he said it reminded him of home. We eventually convinced him to come inside but it took a lot of time and persuading. I don’t know how or what he meant, but at some point I gave up inquiring, he’s confusing. And weird. But a good kind of weird and I’m rambling now--anyway. You can sleep in Daehyun’s room tonight, don’t worry about it."

"But what about the tree-house? Is there no way I could sleep there? It feels weird to take someone else’s room without their knowledge of it happening…"

Taemin chuckled. “So you want to take his tree-house instead?”

Lilian frowned.

"Unfortunately, I’m going to have to say no. He doesn’t even let us in it, so god only knows what’s inside it. Whatever it is it’s apparently top secret—or I’m presuming—and it belongs to Daehyun and Daehyun alone. We’re beyond the point of asking. He’s extremely… quirky. You'll get used to it, granted you ever see him again. They're pretty determined however, so..."

Lilian nodded. “Well, okay then. I’ll um…” She nodded in the direction of the stairs. “Thank you.”

Taemin smiled. “It’s fine. Don’t worry about it. Sleep well.”

She smiled and thanked him and Anna, making her way up the stairs and into Daehyun’s empty room.

 

A few hours had passed, and every now and then Taemin or Anna would go check on Lilian, to see if she was still sleeping, and if check if she was comfortable.

"When Daehyun comes back we have to tell him," Anna said once they were both sat back down, downstairs, her tone of voice serious.

Taemin paused, blinking. “What?”

"I think there’s more to it than what we’ve been told."

Taemin crinkled his nose at his best friend. “When don’t you recently? I swear you’re becoming so paranoid about everything.”

Anna sent Taemin a look. “Maybe I am, but I’m not just saying it! I wouldn’t just say it if I had nothing to back it up with, or not really. Not until I was at least sure I wasn’t crazy or making things up.”

"I’m just saying maybe you’re wrong. Maybe this time there isn’t more to it. Maybe it is what it for the first time ever. Is that such a hard concept to believe?"

"When Daehyun’s concerned, yes!"

"And this Daehyun thing," Taemin muttered. "You keep bringing it up. Why?"

"Well you’d have to be blind or completely oblivious not to notice there’s something  _different_  about him.”

"Yeah, I get that. But… different in what way? I get he’s a little quirky and does different things and goes on as if he’s from somewhere else and whatever else, but maybe that’s just the way he was raised. Otherwise, I’m stumped… because what else could it be?"

"I don’t know! That’s what I’m trying to figure out. I know for certain he’s definitely hiding something in his tree-house and he was definitely hiding something from us when he told us he was going to find Lilian with her two friends."

"Why didn’t I notice then?! And what? Anna, what is he hiding? How are you so sure?"

"Because he wouldn’t go without a reason."

"He does have a reason, though! Because the reward, remember? That’s reason enough. A Princess disappearing is reason enough. He got a job at the Palace to help us all out, right? To get us more money… it’s not a bizarre concept that he’d want to help out.  _Especially_  if he likes Lilian and considers her his friend.”

Anna groaned at Taemin. “No,” Anna then said. “It’s  _more_  than that, though. It’s a bigger situation than just Lilian running away. It  _has_  to be. Otherwise it wouldn’t require him practically packing his bags and moving out.”

"He said Chunji and Jongup needed to be shown around the area and he was the best option because he knew it better."

"But that’s the thing, Taemin! He _doesn’t_ know the area better. Don’t you remember the first time he came here? He was in awe of everything and acted like he’d never seen grass! You can’t tell me you’ve forgotten that…"

"Of course I haven’t but… Anna, I don’t know. Maybe you’re just over thinking it. Maybe he didn’t know the village area too well but knows other parts of the country? It’s not that difficult a concept. It’s not _that_ out of the ordinary."

She gave him a blank look. “Taemin…”

"Okay, maybe it  _is_  out of the ordinary. Maybe Daehyun is too. But… what can we do? If he wants to help Lilian how can we stop him? Especially if there’s a bigger reason behind why he wants to bring her back…”

"We don’t and we won’t. We’ll tell him. We’ll tell him when we come back that Lilian’s here with us, and we’ll let him find her."

"But… she said she didn’t want us to! There must be a reason for that, too. We have to respect Lilian’s wishes…"

"No buts, Taemin. I know Daehyun doesn’t do anything without a purpose. And he wouldn’t casually jump into something unless he really was needed. It’s more than just the money prize, it’s more than just Lilian. Something big is going on and we have to help him. Maybe she’s in danger. We have to tell him."

"Why do I have a bad feeling about this, Anna." Taemin gulped. "Maybe we shouldn’t get involved. Maybe it’s out of our reach, especially if you’re right about Daehyun being different. Like, really different. Like…  _not human_  kind of different. That’s what you’re getting at, isn’t it?”

"Yes," Anna said. "That’s what I’m getting at."

What they didn’t realize was that Lilian was crouched down outside the room Taemin and Anna were in listening in on every word. She’d sneaked out of Daehyun’s room some time after they’d last checked on her and didn’t even mean to listen in on the conversation, she was originally just coming down for some water. But she was glad she did, because if they were going to tell Daehyun, then she needed to get away. Her adventure couldn’t end before it had even begun. She’d worked too hard to have it all fall to pieces just like that…


	16. Otherside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_m7_xZN8D7M

She waited and waited. Anna and Taemin carried on talking for what seemed like centuries before they decided to turn in and call it a night. Lilian quietly rushed back up the stairs and went into Daehyun’s room, jumping under the covers of his bed, feigning sleep.

"She’s still asleep," Taemin said as he turned to Anna and smiled. "She’s been out at least four hours now, I’m sure we’ll be able to get some rest ourselves knowing she’s comfortable, right?"

Anna didn’t seem convinced. “Shouldn’t one of us at least stay with her for the rest of the night?” 

"Isn’t that a little creepy?"

Anna frowned. “How?”

"Just the thought of being asleep and unaware and then waking up to find someone you’ve only just met a day before looming over you, kinda gives me shivers. I know if I put myself in Lilian’s position, hospitality and all, I’d rather not be watched as I sleep."

"Well you’re unaware even when you’re awake," Anna muttered. "What difference would it make?"

"I like how you’re turning it around on me even though you’re the one that suggested the creepy tactic." Taemin huffed as he crossed his arms over his chest. "You’re a brat."

Anna scoffed. _”I’m_  the brat?” She then rolled her eyes. “And it wouldn’t be creepy. I don’t mean loom over her body and be the first thing she sees when she wakes up. I just mean maybe one of us should sleep in this room, too, just in case.”

"Just in case what?"

"In case whatever. We’d have to stay to find out if something was the matter or Lilian had a problem with something here, wouldn’t we?"

Taemin narrowed his eyes. “Because she’s a Princess and deserves special treatment, right?”

"I never said that."

"Do you think she’s better than us, Anna? That even in our own house we have to bow down and serve her hand and foot?"

Anna rolled her eyes. “Taemin, you’re going down the wrong track…”

"Then what is the right track?"

"All I’m suggesting is that one of us stays in the same room as Lilian just in case something happens. What if she has a nightmare and wakes up in an unfamiliar room and then freaks out about being somewhere she doesn’t recognize? What if—and not because I think she’s above us because she’s a Princess or whatever you thought before—she gets sick or is already on her way there because she’s so used to Palace conditions and obviously before she slept over here she’d already left the Palace and obviously had to hide out somewhere right? The corners of some of the village walls are full with all sorts of disgusting things and if she was exposed to them for too long, especially after living in pristine conditions for all of her life, she could easily get sick. And then, finally, what if when we’re asleep she intends to sneak out of the front door and sneak out to wherever—"

Taemin puffed out his cheeks as he blatantly interrupted his best friend with, “so what you’re saying is you don’t trust her?”

Anna let out a frustrated sound as she resisted the urge to kick her best friend in the shin. “Is that all you got out of what I said? Can I say anything without you hopping onto the that conclusion that I actually have malicious undertones to it?!” Anna then sighed visibly. “If I’m right with the feeling that there’s more to everything than Daehyun’s told us, that could be very dangerous. What if she gets killed? And we were the last ones to see her?”

"—So you’re worried about us too? If she dies and we were the last to see her the Palace people will be after us and you can’t risk that?" Taemin seemed to be teasing Anna at this point but she wasn’t entirely sure because her best friend was very hard to define at the best of times. She knew for as long as she lived she'd never meet another like Taemin. "Damn Anna."

It still didn’t stop the fact that Anna wanted to bang her head against the wall because of him. “That’s it,” she muttered. “I’m going to bed.”

He smirked at her, quirking an eyebrow. “So I do win then?”

"Whatever. If she’s gone in the morning it’s your entire fault."

"Hold me to that, then."

"Okay, brat."

Taemin’s eyes narrowed. “You’re a bigger brat!”

Anna’s eyes narrowed this time. “You’re the one that whines about being cold every five seconds and is always like ‘Anna, come cuddle me I’m cold’, and then talks every single time I’m three seconds away from falling asleep and wakes me straight back up and expects me to be all smiles about it and whines even more when I’m not and you’re the biggest brat I have ever met in my entire life and this is coming from someone who has two younger, bratty siblings!”

Taemin’s bottom lip jutted out into a pout. “And you need to be read bedtime stories before you can even consider the _prospect_ of falling asleep, like you can talk!”

Anna huffed. “Then we’re both brats.”

Taemin smiled smugly. “Glad we came to an agreement.”

"Get to bed, brat."

"You first, brat." He moved towards the door and stood in front of it, placing his hands out and directing Anna to go first.

Anna turned back and glowered at him. “But you’re sleeping in your own bed this time!”

"But yours is so comfortable," Taemin whined, trailing after her as they walked into the room they shared, since their house only had two bedrooms and Taemin gave up his room to Daehyun after he officially moved in with them. Daehyun didn’t know Taemin was just trying to be polite in the hope that the elder would reject the offer and tell him he’d never want to intrude like that and that since he was pretty much their guest he’d sleep on the couch. Daehyun had however—in complete contrast—within an hour after the words had left Taemin’s mouth, moved in and rearranged Taemin’s room to suit his own liking, and that was the story of how Taemin lost his bedroom. But he then got used to sharing his room with Anna. She was his best friend after all, and he had a soft spot for annoying her, especially at night. "Mine’s always ruined and the covers are always scrunched up and lumpy and uncomfortable. It’s horrible!"

"That’s because you sleep in the weirdest positions imaginable!" Anna scoffed. "And then in the morning you never fix your bed either. What else do you expect?" She shook her head in disbelief at the sight of the bed next to hers. "Look at that," she said pointing. "It’s atrocious."

Taemin tugged lightly on Anna’s arm. “Fix it for me, then?” He pouted up at her and blinked his big brown eyes in the most innocent manner he could muster. “You always do a better job than I do.”

"Do you think that works on me?!" She then snorted. "And yeah, even in that state you always find a way to make it even worse when you try fixing it, don’t you?"

"It works on everyone else!" His pout deepened. "And shut up."

Anna scoffed. “That’s because they don’t know how evil you really are! And because they don’t live with you and don’t see how much of a brat you really are. Nor do they know you cheat at board games.” Anna then snorted. “Or that you’re a sore loser.”

"A sore loser that gives really good hugs!"

Anna began to back away from him, eyes narrowing as he made a beeline towards her and her bed. “Taemin, no.”

"Anna," Taemin whined, dragging the syllables of her name out as he made his way over and stopped at the foot of her bed. "I’m  _cold.”_

"Then wrap your blanket around yourself!"

"But hugging is so much more effective! Plus you smell nice." He sat at the edge of her bed, pouting and whining. "Also when Daehyun left I at least tried to read you bed time stories so you’d be able to sleep! You know hugging helps me sleep!" 

"You never hugged Daehyun to sleep, though! Why do I have to do this?" She shuffled further away. "Also you sleep in the weirdest positions ever and I’m not even exaggerating! Seriously say if you place your head on the pillow and your feet towards the bottom of the bed and make sure you’re sleeping in a straight line I can bet by the time I wake up, your head will be at your feet or something. and your arm contorted underneath your leg. It’s creepy."

"That’s a point," Taemin said, nodding along to Anna’s words, but blanking out the rest. It wasn’t like he could control the positions his body morphed into when he was sleeping, was it?  "Did he ever even sleep?"

"I don’t know. It’s a little hard to tell when  _you’re in different rooms and all.”_

"Why so sarcastic? Also I used to hear him shuffling around for hours, I swear he barely got any hours of sleep." He began to tap his foot on the floor, blinking as he was thinking about it. "But he always seemed so refreshed? Like regardless of how much sleep he got he was replenished?"

"Now you’re finally realizing there was always something different about him?" Anna snorted. "It took you long enough."

"Better late than never, right?"

Anna nodded, before shuffling under her covers and snuggling in. “Now go back to your own bed, you brat. And if I wake up and you’re next to me trying to hug me I’ll throttle you.”

"Can I at least get in with you even if we don’t snuggle?"

"You’re a parasite," she mumbled. "Leave me alone."

"Anna," he whined.

 _"Taemin,"_  she mocked.

"Fine." He sighed, mopily making his way over to his own bed and getting under the covers. "Leave me here alone to die if you must."

"You’re so dramatic."

Taemin let out a prolonged sigh but didn’t reply. Instead shuffling around as he tried to find a comfortable position in his lumpy bed that he hadn’t fixed, with crinkles in the covers and misplaced mattresses.

"Guilt trips won’t work," Anna muttered sleepily.

"It’s not a guilt trip!"

Anna decided to ignore him, turning on her side. Taemin sighed, before turning her way and pouting, but upon the realization that she was turned the other way—her back facing him, he sighed once more and lay his head against his pillow, asking himself if she’d really throttle him if he climbed in beside her. And whether he was willing to risk it.

 

"They seem so nice," Lilian mumbled to herself once they’d left the room she was guesting. "Would they really tell on me?" She shook her head to clear her thoughts. "Obviously they’re closer to Daehyun than they are with me, even as nice as they seem to be, of course they’re going to pick him over some random Princess they met a day ago, right? What am I even thinking… I need to get out of here."

She waited a little while longer and once she was certain no one was awake, or at least up, she shuffled out of the bed and tiptoed her way across the Daehyun’s room before stealthily making her way out of the door and making sure not to trip over anything before quietly making her way down the stairs. She quickly found a pencil and piece of paper and wrote a genuine note of gratitude before leaving a few more bills of money on their living room table before turning and walking towards the back door…

She squeezed her eyes closed as she tried the handle, hoping not to make a noise, but the door didn’t budge. She soon realized it was still locked, so undid the latch and tried again, hoping that it wouldn’t make a loud bang. Thankfully, it didn’t. She slid out of the gap she’d left for herself and gently closed the door behind her.

Once out in their porch way she quickly, hastily, made her way up the stone pavement of the garden and towards the gate. She unlatched the latch and speed walked down the street of the village, pulling her hood over head for anonymity. It had to be about 6:00 in the morning and the clouds were still pretty dark as it was nearing winter. Not bothering to look behind her, Lilian focused her sights on moving forwards and only forwards.

She wouldn’t make eye contact with anyone passing her by, she wouldn’t look up, left or right, and definitely not backwards. She kept her sights set ahead, only slightly taking in the cobbled road beneath her feet with her vision.

No one seemed to notice or pay close attention to her, and she was ever so thankful for the oversized cloak as it allowed that to take place.

Soon enough she seemed to completely blank out of her surroundings, just letting her feet move her anywhere. She soon realized she was treading onto the path that was leading out of the village entirely. She was now standing near to the farmer’s garden that was a few meters away from what was apparently the scariest forest around for miles.

 _The Foreseen Forest._  She’d heard many a tale about it from Chul-Moo, but because she found him quite the pompous, she tended to ignore whatever it was he rambled on about to her.

"Miss?" A new voice called out wearily. Lilian ignored the voice, already being able to tell it belonged to the owner of the place. She didn’t make eye contact or acknowledge the voice’s owner. The farmer frowned. "Miss, please be careful."

She heard footsteps and cringed. Pulling her hood to her face so that it left her face covered, she glanced up, but still avoided eye contact. He wasn’t standing in front of her, much to her delight, but he was leaning against the wooden fence of his farm, glancing at her with an intrigued expression. “Miss?” He asked again.

"Yes?" She disguised the sound of her voice, just in case the man knew who she was. "Do you have something to speak of with me? Do I know you?" Her tone was curt and to the point. 

The man ignored most of her questions and instead cut to the chase. “Do you plan on going in there?”

Lilian nodded. “Is there a reason I perhaps should not?”

The man seemed to wince visibly. “There are many, miss.”

"What are they, er, good sir?" She stumbled a little with her words but was glad for it because she knew that a Princess—what this man believed a Princess would be like, anyway—would never stumble on her words, never stutter.

"They say this forest is dangerous. Evil, even. One of the deadliest and darkest places a person may ever trek in their lives. People are lucky to make it out alive."

Lilian rolled her eyes. “I’m sure it’s all just hearsay, good sir.”

"That’s what many have said before they entered with seemingly no fear attached to their syllables or facial expressions… only to never return home. That forest is a dangerous place, miss. Please watch yourself. I wouldn’t want a pretty young one such as yourself be put to waste."

The man seemed to intend it as a compliment but Lilian definitely didn’t take it as a compliment. Lilian didn't respond to this part, instead saying, “it's a necessary part of my journey and perhaps my only way out of this godforsaken place."

He blinked, confused that she wasn’t thanking him for his supposed compliment, then seemed a little taken aback by the finality of her words. She realized they could've given an entirely wrong impression, but she couldn't waste any more time. Lilian bid a quick, detached goodbye in his direction before she made her way over to the opening clearing of the Foreseen forest and placed her first step into it.

The infamous Foreseen Forest.

 

Lilian couldn't help but notice just how looming and dark the presence of forest she’d just stepped into was. Tree after tree towered over her, some of their branches so thick and long that had they fallen on her, she’d be crushed within an instant.

There was a thick mist clouding her immediate surroundings, so much that it impaired her vision and created a thick, seemingly never ending darkness as she trudged further and further inside, her feet squelching in what she presumed was wet mud. But she couldn’t see clearly enough to be able to define it for definite.

But she didn’t notice anyone else around, didn’t feel anything weird…  
  
It just looked like a normal forest to her, not that she’d seen many to begin with, but there was no difference between the forest she currently occupied and others she had witnessed in her life previously.

Forests all looked the same to her.

All covered in trees, all hiding most sunlight available. Canopies, leaves, ditches. She’d seen all of that before. So what set this particular forest out from the rest so much? And why was everyone so terrified of it?

Lilian couldn’t understand. She she shrugged and moved on, not wanting to be in the place any longer than necessary.

It wasn’t because she was afraid, because she genuinely wasn’t, it was just that she knew that there were things she had to fear out there—the Rogues, for starters—and they could’ve been lurking anywhere in the depths of the shadows. If she was going to have to face them, she’d prefer it be in a place where she could see clearly and define the objects surrounding her.

With this thought in mind, she quickened her pace and sighed at just how long and how narrow the forest was, and seemed to be getting. 

Finally, after what felt like forever, she began to see light pooling in from the canopy of a tree. She realized she was nearing the exit of the Foreseen Forest, and would now be in the depths of what came after the Foreseen Forest…

 

Being this far away from home was exhilarating. That was Lilian’s first thought. Being somewhere she knew no one from home could find her, or wouldn’t ever think to look, was even more exhilarating.

Escaping the oh-so-scary Foreseen Forest unscathed, had she cared, she would’ve gone back and bragged about it to everyone in vicinity.  _Especially_  to Chul-Moo.

The thing was, she didn’t care. She never saw the big deal surrounding said forest and didn’t understand why people were so petrified of it.

Lilian wasn’t a tall person—especially in comparison to the male Guards who inhabited the Palace. And unlike them, hadn’t ever been trained in the ways of defending herself. The Guards of the Palace were supposed to be fearless warriors yet a simple mention of a “dangerous” forest had them shaking in their boots? It made no sense to her.

But there she was. Standing in a patch of grass that wasn’t connected to the dark and dangerous Foreseen Forest at all, only finalized the fact that she’d well and truly made her way out of the place. Alive.

The fact that she was still breathing and unscathed was living proof that she’d survived what was meant to be the scariest and most dangerous place for miles, and miles, and even more miles after that.

Living proof that it was all probably just village talk. That there really wasn’t anything that dangerous lurking in the depths of this darkened, misty forest. Albeit, she hadn’t stayed the whole night—nor very long at all—so couldn’t start sprouting facts about how wrong everyone was, but definitely found she didn’t feel like she was going insane when making her way through the misty forest and definitely not to the point where she’d want to take her own life, or entertain thoughts of such.

Which was apparently what was supposed to happen, according to gossip.

She came to the conclusion that people were maybe too gullible for their own good. They really did seem to believe everything and anything they heard without questioning it once.

She’d bet that Taemin or Anna wouldn’t buy into the village talk that this Foreseen Forest was the scariest place on the planet, too. She then wondered if they’d consider her a friend yet. She kind of missed them, even if she didn’t know them very well, she still found herself believing that had she been given more time and opportunity to build a friendship with them both, they’d prove to be very close and loyal friends.

Just like Chunji.

Lilian then shook her head, cringing. All she could think about every time she thought about or heard said name mentioned was all the awful things she’d last said to him. And the fact that even after she’d said them, he still went out of his way to volunteer to look for her.  
  
She didn’t understand her best friend sometimes.

She then shook herself out of her little reverie, and instead focused her attention on where it was she’d ended up after exiting the Foreseen Forest.

She couldn’t deny the fact that the sight before her almost took her breath away. She’d only been away from home for about a day and half, possibly two days now, but she already preferred this place to the dirty corners of streets that would’ve been her only option had she not been quick thinking on her feet and decided that she’d camp out in Taemin and Anna’s back garden. Though, thanks to their hospitality and genuineness, she also found a place to sleep for the night.

But that obviously wasn’t guaranteed forever. She knew she couldn’t stay with Taemin and Anna forever and she’d knew she’d be naïve to believe she could.

And the sight before her was miles better than the grubby street corner she’d had to lean against before, she could say that much already.

In comparison to the street corner, what came after the Foreseen Forest surrounding wise was almost heavenly.

It had all the makings of a temporary home—at least with the fact that it was in the wilderness, anyway. There was a river, which meant both water to drink and the fact that she could wash herself, something definitely not guaranteed in street corners. There was also a lot more she was presuming but she had to venture into it before she could say for certain.

So with this thought in mind she began to make her way across the stone bridge that led to the other side.

 

Lilian had just crossed over the bridge and was now standing in a patch of grass that wasn’t surrounded by trees. Which left her with two options to choose from. Both were evident patches of forest, but definitely seemed as if they’d be good shelter, at least for a few days.

Lilian had decided she wanted to at least have somewhere she could rest and relax and return to for when she was to begin her long-awaited journey and either patch of forest seemed the perfect option. 

The patch of forest that was up ahead from where she was standing looked much neater. It had tall looking trees, what she presumed was fir trees. The one further down appeared much more rugged, and had wider trees as opposed to the thin fir ones up ahead.

Lilian wasn’t too neat a person by nature, but the narrower, neater forest up ahead did seem to be easier on her eyes. And for some other reason that she couldn’t explain she felt more inclined towards it. And so, made her way towards it.

Once there, she realized she really did underestimate just how narrow it was. And just how little space wasn’t covered by the long line of tall trees at either side. Everything was shaped so narrowly, like a tight-knit rectangle. She realized that if she was going to sleep there, she’d definitely be angled awkwardly, even as a small person.

Shrugging her shoulders, she decided she’d have to deal with it. Placing herself onto the ground, she then took her large over cloak off and wrapped it around her body as she curled up into an—awkward—position and awaited sleep.

 

The three who had begun a journey of their own with the intention to track down the runaway Princess and bring her back home to where they knew she was safe, still hadn’t left the village. And unlike Lilian, didn’t really have anywhere they could stay. Or they, too, could’ve visited Anna and Taemin and by Daehyun’s request be allowed a night to rest there, but Daehyun didn’t seem to think of that, too focused on finding Lilian.

So much so they literally spent the majority of the day trailing around in circles in the village and looking under every rock and grain of sand with the hopes of finding the Princess. But each time came back with nothing.

They eventually called it a day and rested against a corner of a wall in the village, and allowed themselves to drift of to sleep. The hours seemed to fly by much too quickly for both Chunji and Jongup’s liking, but they eventually dusted their clothes off and pushed themselves up onto their feet.

Daehyun was sitting on the opposite side of the wall, a branch of a tree in his hand as he drew patterns into the slightly dried sand of the floor, eyes wide awake. But also looking completely out of his surroundings. Not paying attention to anything but the stick that was drawing patterns into the sand.

"Hey," Chunji said softly, catching Jongup’s attention. He could already tell that Jongup was worrying about his horses and so reached over and patted him on the hand gently. "They’ll be okay. Daehyun says they’re in good hands."

Jongup nodded, but his smile didn’t reach his eyes. Jongup chewed on his lip before muttering a quiet, “Daehyun didn’t sleep.”

Chunji blinked, taken aback. He cast a glance at Daehyun, and then at the stick the lighter blond was using to trace patterns into the sand with. “But he looks wide awake?”

"I couldn’t sleep very well because Daehyun couldn’t sleep. It made me feel nervous. Also I know De, Li and Lah are in good hands but I also couldn’t help but worry." Jongup’s eyes cast downwards and he frowned. "I miss them.”

"Why?" Chunji asked. He then cleared his throat as he continued, realizing his question was a little vague, and if he didn’t elaborate, it could be taken the wrong way. "I mean, why wasn’t Daehyun able to sleep?"

"M-maybe he’s worried?"

Daehyun sighed. He leaned against the wall and closed his eyes momentarily. Before muttering something along the lines of ‘obviously communicating by sand is not going to bring any positive results, I guess water really is our only option for the moment, but are we even sure that will work to begin with?’. He then shook his head before opening his eyes and meeting the confused faces of Chunji and Jongup. “Oh!” He suddenly said, rising to his feet. “You are both finally awake. Shall we go?”

Chunji and Jongup nodded but were a little taken aback by his chirpy behavior. Especially considering the fact that he hadn’t slept. And that he was trying to ‘communicate’ with someone by drawing pictures into sand.

"He’s so…" Chunji trailed off, at a loss for words as he trailed behind the lighter blond.

"So…" Jongup also trailed off, seeming to be agreeing.

"Unique?"

_"Unique."_

 

"So," Chunji trailed off, finding it a little tiring trying to catch up to Daehyun. No matter how much faster Chunji tried to make his footsteps go, Daehyun still seemed to get ahead of him within seconds. Chunji turned to Jongup to see if it was happening to him too, or if really was Chunji and his dislike of exercise coming into play. Jongup was also furrowing his eyebrows slightly at the light blond ahead of them. "Daehyun!"

Daehyun abruptly stopped and turned back, raising an eyebrow.

Chunji sheepishly chuckled. “Could you uh, slow down a little, if that’s okay?”

Daehyun nodded, before making his way back over to Chunji and Jongup. “Of course. I apologize for getting too far ahead of you.”

Chunji mustered up a smile. “It’s fine. I… uh. Can I ask where it is we’re going next? Clearly we’re not sticking around the village any longer…?”

"Yes," Daehyun said, but stopped for a second, seeming to be searching for the right words. "Yesterday we came to the conclusion that the Princess is not in the village any longer. If she is, she is hiding expertly, yet somehow I doubt that…"

Chunji chuckled. “I wouldn’t be  _too_  sure about that. She was always the best at hide and seek.”

"Not that," Daehyun amended. "But the belief that she is not in the village currently."

"Right," Chunji said, seeming to agree with Daehyun. "You’re probably right. So that leaves us with the…" Honestly he wasn’t too sure what came after the village. As much as he paid attention to people, he never really cared much for gossip, knowing the amount of lies and absurdities that generally seemed to spread around with it.

"The forests," Daehyun said. 

They were making their way towards what was the entrance of the Foreseen Forest from the village’s point of view, walking past the garden of the farmer. Who was also out, dusting around his pens, and sheds. The sound of footsteps caught his attention and he glanced up only for his eyes to widen at the sight before him.

"Okay," he called out making his way over to his fence. "You three make the amount of people I’ve witnessed enter this place in the past day—even few hours—toll up to four. What is going on? Is there a secret party nearby that only a select few have been notified of… or is it something else entirely?"

Daehyun turned towards the fence and faced the man. The man blinked at how straight his posture was. “You saw someone else come this way? Please tell us more.”

"Are you Royals?"

Daehyun opened his mouth to speak but Chunji quickly intervened. “Yes but we really don’t have time to stay and chat so if you’d do us the favor of letting us in on who it was you saw walk by, we’d be ever so grateful.”

The man crossed his arms over his chest. “Now why would I do that?”

Chunji pulled out a few bills of money and passed them over. “It’s important. That’s why.”

The man’s lips pulled up and Chunji almost scoffed. “I like the way you think, son.”

"I’m not your son. Now can you please give us a description of the person you witnessed walk this way earlier?"

"Eh," he said. "Small, long dark hair and a long black coat with a hood pulled up. Quite well spoken but seemed to be in a rush. I warned her not to go but she didn’t listen. She’s probably Rogue-meat by now, anyway."

Jongup stifled a gasp. “The Princess wouldn’t let herself get eaten, would she?” He muttered to himself, suddenly feeling very afraid.

Unfortunately for him the man picked up on it. “Maybe it wasn’t by choice,” the man said, raising an eyebrow at the title of Princess. “You have to keep in mind that these are the most famous bad guys around. Rebels without a cause. The worst kind of sinners. The type to destroy property for no reason whatsoever, possibly for their own sick benefit? No one knows why they do what they do. Or even who they truly are. Just that they should be avoided at all costs and if you run into one you’re as good as dead. Rumor even has it that they even kidnap children and once they’ve run out of sources of food, munch on them instead.”

Chunji resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “Or there’s the possibility it’s all just hearsay, no?”

"Not when I’ve personally had them come into my field at night and slaughter my animals. It happens far too often, and frankly I’m tired of it. They get a sick thrill out of terrifying me, I’m sure of it." He pushed his shoulders up and scowled. "What I’d give to have someone put them in their place!"

Jongup’s eyes widened as he shrunk away a bit. “They sound… scary.”

"Scary doesn’t begin to describe it, son."

Chunji almost rolled his eyes this time but somehow found a way to suppress it. “I guess if we encounter them we’ll just have to see for ourselves, hm? Come on, guys, let’s go.”

"Not even a thank you?"

"I  _paid_  you.”

"You seem like a polite boy, though. Very well mannered. I believe I’ve noticed a trend. When not focusing on Royal family in particular, the Palace workers are also very polite and well spoken."

"Thank you," Chunji grumbled which made the man smile, before turning to Jongup and Daehyun. "Should we go?"

Jongup and Daehyun nodded their heads in unison, beginning to make their way to the entrance of the Foreseen Forest.

"Be careful!" The farmer called out. "It’s a dangerous place."

Jongup was the one to notice that Chunji seemed a little off. “Are you okay?” He finally mustered up the courage to ask. Jongup didn’t even understand why he had to muster up the courage to ask such a question to Chunji, especially if they were considered friends, at least somewhat. Jongup just wasn’t very good with people or with interacting with people and with the way he’d been treated by the Palace, always had to build up the courage and confidence to speak up and verbalize his thoughts and feelings and worries, and just generally anything. Even if the person he was speaking to he considered a friend or was considered a friend by them. It was just what he’d gotten used to. What he’d dwindled his sense of worth down to.

"If I’m honest," Chunji chuckled,  the sound slightly bitter. "I just want to find Lilian. That’s all I want. I could care less about rewards and bad guys, and cannibals… I just want my best friend back. I want things to go back to how they were."

"We will find Lilian," Daehyun promised. "Are you ready to venture into the Foreseen Forest?"

Chunji shrugged as if he had nothing to lose. “Ready as I’ll ever be. How about you, Jongup?”

Jongup nodded wearily, but the look of fear that painted his features was hard to miss. “I… guess so.”

"Then let us go. I will lead us in. Please stay close to me. Do not wander off by yourself. It  _is_  a dangerous place. Yet it is the only route available.”

 

Lilian winced as she pushed herself up into a sitting position. She sighed at the realization that she couldn’t sleep here either. Even as a small person, she had to cramp up into the tightest fetal position she could, and eventually that got tiring for her. Her neck felt stiff and it was clear to her then that she wouldn’t be able to sleep there for long. Especially not a whole night. The patch of forest she inhabited was too narrow. The lines of trees were too close together. Fine for walking through, but with the way she had to lay—horizontal—it was cramped and painful. She could’ve slept on her front, she realized, but that way she’d be facing a couple of small ditches that seemed to be crawling with insects.

Lilian didn’t like insects.

And that was just the sight of them. She knew she’d freak out if she had to sleep with the knowledge that they were close to her, and could’ve gotten out of the ditch and crawled all over her when they pleased.

On top of that, what if she accidentally rolled over in her sleep and ended up with a limb laying in the ditch?—It would be an insects’ free for all.

Just the thought made her shudder, so she quickly got up onto her feet and dusted her clothes off. She checked the rest of the upper patch of forest to see if there was anywhere else suitable enough to sleep in, but it just got narrower and narrower until the lines of trees eventually met. She knew there was another patch of forest at the other side, so knew all hope wasn’t lost.

Quickly turning back, she exited the clearing of the narrow patch of forest and made it towards the less kept, but wider looking forest. Holding onto the hope that there’d be somewhere she could find that was at least suitable for a few nights stay.

 

Lilian breathed a sigh of pure relief at the realization that this other forest at the opposite end of where the narrow forest lay, was much spacier. There was room to breathe and to spin and to run and to lie down—both horizontally and vertically. She wouldn’t be cramped here.

It was less neat looking already, but in all honesty, Lilian didn’t mind. She kind of preferred it in a way. It gave it character that the other forest seemed to lack.

Making her way through the already spacier clearing and forest walk-way, somewhere she realized in retrospect was where she was trying to rest, in the narrower forest. And forests—at least the forests the Palace owned—in her experience always got wider as a person went along. So why did it seem the narrow forest only got narrower?

Lilian quirked a brow but tried not to dwell on it too much, knowing that this other forest already seemed like a godsend.

Something that only proved to be correct as she went further along…  
  
Once at the end of the forest walk-way, Lilian found herself standing in an area of land that was surrounded by trees. The ground she stood on had no trees present, but much to her surprise—and delight—had a camp fully set up.

Which when she kept the river in mind, had everything essential. Cooking pots and pans lay neatly on the floor. There was firewood. There were eating utensils. Logs to sit on. Stumps of trees to sit on. And then some scratchy looking forest made blankets, the one thing Lilian decided she’d avoid in the camp. Everything else was perfect.

Especially with her intention to have somewhere to return to if she needed.

"Guess luck really is on my side?" She hummed happily to herself before making her way over and placing her cloak on the ground. She went over to one of the logs she presumed were used for sitting space and glanced at the bottles that were placed neatly behind the log. There were flasks for water, drinking cups too. What caught her attention most were the bottles which were obviously used to wash hair, and she knew that because the Palace seemed to have a never ending batch of said bottles.

She was confused and even felt a little… strange to be staring at a bottle she knew she had at home, wondering how on earth it could’ve gotten there, but then remembered she passed a stall in the village earlier on that sold similar bottles.

So obviously no one from home could’ve caught up to her so fast—to the point where they were ahead of her anyway, knowing she’d end up there—so the bottle really couldn’t be a warning that they were onto her.

That they were going to find her and drag her back home.

Or she hoped.

But she believed so, because of all warning signs, why hair wash?

What was hair wash supposed to signify? Other than the fact that whoever it was who’d set up the camp clearly wanted to keep clean hair, or at least wanted her to keep clean hair, too.

She was thankful.

Even if she had brought her own in her little bag, it was nice that in the instance that had she forgotten, she’d be okay, too.

Behind the bottles lay four piles of neatly folded clothes. Lilian blinked in surprise. But then shrugged her shoulders. Not even thinking about the consequences, or even bothering to question why it all already seemed to be set up but completely empty at that current moment in time, Lilian made her way back over to where she’d placed her cloak and lay down and wrapped herself in it, wanting to catch as many hours as possible.

 

Back at the entrance of the Foreseen Forest was where Jongup, Chunji and Daehyun stood.

"We’ll be okay," Chunji promised, noticing that Jongup seemed hesitant as they began to make their way inside of the Foreseen forest.

"This is the furthest away from the palace I’ve ever been," Jongup looked back at distance they’d already travelled in what appeared to be awe. "I’ve never been outside of the village."

"Same here," Chunji mused, but he seemed happy at the prospect of that changing. Jongup just seemed afraid.

They turned to Daehyun, expecting him to also join in on the conversation but Daehyun was glancing at the darkened forest in what appeared to be an ominous manner.

Chunji chuckled at Daehyun’s expression. “You’re looking at the forest as if it’s personally offended you, Daehyun.”

Daehyun blinked, seeming to be pulled out of his reverie. “I was…” He said, only to stop as he turned to face them. “Thinking.”

"Of what?"

"Which option would be wiser to take. Should I lead you both in here and stand at the front, in case something comes from the front and takes us by surprise? Or should I stand at the back and let you walk a little ahead of me in case something comes from the back? It would help if one of my brothers was with me, I realize that now."

Chunji’s eyebrows. “Wait,  _brothers?_  I thought it was just the one?”

Daehyun didn’t reply to Chunji’s question and instead tried to focus on the task at hand. “Perhaps I must lead.” Daehyun seemed to cast a worried glance at Chunji and Jongup. “If you witness something out of the ordinary with me, please do not freak out. I will be fine.”

"Well you’re not really  _in_  the ordinary to begin with, so…” Chunji trailed off, with the intention of teasing Daehyun. Admittedly before, Chunji was a little weary of Daehyun—because of Jungshin. And then after finding out that Daehyun’s ties to Jungshin really weren’t that tight knit, and that the lighter blond was potentially the most interesting person he’d ever witnessed, he definitely didn’t understand him but he couldn’t help but admit that the lighter blond had grown on him within the past day or so. But that didn’t change the fact that Chunji found something  _odd_  about him since the minute they spoke to one another. “How out of the ordinary are we talking?”

Daehyun chuckled awkwardly, choosing not to reply. “Should we go?”

"Pretty out of the ordinary then, huh?" Chunji asked as he and Jongup trailed after Daehyun.

 

Walking through the Foreseen Forest was nothing like Chunji or Jongup could’ve ever anticipated. There was an eerie breeze blowing by, a thick misty fog that shrouded everything in darkness. Chunji could’ve even swore he even heard hushed whispers. Hushed, eerie, breeze-like whispers that definitely didn’t belong to himself, Jongup or Daehyun. They made him wrap his overclothes around himself a little tighter.

"I don’t like this place," Jongup whispered, seeming to be shivering.

Chunji nodded in agreement. “It’s making me feel… weird.”

Jongup shivered, moving closer to Chunji and taking a light hold of his arm. “M-me too,” he whispered.

"We must get out of here quickly," Daehyun announced, but didn’t look back, knowing the visible effects of the forest were eventually going to have on his skin would only frighten Chunji and Jongup. He didn’t want that.

Daehyun tried to hold in his wince as the dark energies that humans couldn’t tune into, nor even notice very often whipped and slapped against his skin. Where humans would feel a slight shiver, Daehyun would feel the attack in full force. Every whip, scratch and pull. They were especially dangerous in his case, he wasn’t supposed to be subjected to them. The exact opposite of everything Daehyun was, the exact opposite of Daehyun’s energy… when subjected to, when said energies combined… the end result wasn’t pretty.

Humans had never been subjected to such an instance, and Daehyun could already tell they would be terrified.

Daehyun could tell that his enemieshad been here not so long since, but that wasn’t what was throwing him off. He knew this wastheir ground. He knew it belonged to them _._  He knew they had lost control over it some time ago, but the unspoken reminder that it was stilltheirs—regardless of how few ofthem visited it any more—was encoded into the deepest depths of the forest. Unmovable.

What was throwing Daehyun off most about the forest, was the fact that there was something else. He could sense something else. Something that had clearly already been, just like his enemieshad, not long since. Passed now. But its essence still remained. Or the remnants of its essence. Whatever it was, it was taunting him. It unsettled him because nothing was able to take Daehyun by surprise any more, he had thought every outcome through—or so he genuinely believed. He had been around too long to not know what was coming next. The only time he’d ever been duped, or tricked was when…

Daehyun shook his head, realizing it was impossible. It couldn’t be that.

But if it wasn’t that, perhaps he would realize too late what it was.   
  
That thought scared him.

Perhaps he did need back up from a certain other brother on this, and not the one who specialized in healing.

But that brother had made clear with words that he would only come down when it was absolutely necessary, when it was said same brother’s own deeds he had to complete. He had made it clear he wouldn’t interfere with Daehyun’s business.

It wasn’t as if the brother Daehyun was talking about abandoned him, or deemed him unworthy, quite the opposite, actually. He just believed Daehyun was more than capable enough by himself. That the deeds presented to Daehyun were Daehyun’s alone and none of the others would be able to complete them to the same standards.

Daehyun nearly sighed as the realization that he dearly missed his brothers hit him.

"D-Daehyun?!" Chunji gasped visibly as he and Jongup made their way to the side of Daehyun. Chunji’s eyes were almost popping out of his sockets at the sight that lay before him. "Y-your skin—! Is it… it’s  _burning…”_

Jongup winced and looked the other way, not wanting the image of Daehyun’s burning skin imprinted in his mind. It also made no sense to him because there was no fire and burn marks could only be caused by fire and heat, could they not?

Daehyun nodded. “It is okay. It cannot kill me. It is merely injuring me.”

Chunji paused, feeling fear prickle at his own skin.  _"It?"_

"The forest. Or perhaps it would make more sense to call it the energy of the forest?—The essence? It is okay. It cannot harm you. It is just me it will get to." Daehyun glanced at the skin of his forearm, now blistering and sweltering. He could feel the pain and the stinging but made sure not to show it through his expressions. "It is encoded with a great evil which is reacting against me in particular. Targeting me in particular. I could try and explain but it will not yet make sense to either of you. If my memory is correct, there is a river within close vicinity after we exit the forest. I can use it contact one of my brothers and ask for assistance. This forest is not at its full potential, but I can tell that Nocens have been here not long since. So this." He pointed to his skin. "Is merely just scratches."

Chunji winced. “They’re just scratches?” He shivered. “What the hell is this place? Also you keep talking about your brother or brothers? How many others are they? Of you…” Chunji let out a constricted sound that was halfway between a scoff and a laugh. “Whatever you are, I guess.”

"Three," Daehyun said staring off into the distance. "There are four if you include myself and five if you count our leader--six if including the youngest--though he is much stronger than we are. Than we ever will be. Possibly the most powerful being the world will ever encounter."

"Sounds like…" Jongup trailed off but then stopped short. "But that’s impossible," he said sadly.

Daehyun blinked, intrigued. “What is impossible, Jongup?”

"If  _he_  existed he would’ve heard my prayers, and saved my mother. But he didn’t. So he’s not real. Or if he is, he’s heartless.” Jongup then shook his head in a disappointed manner. “Besides, if that was the case, it’d mean you and your brothers were…”

"Jongup…" Daehyun trailed off, sounding a little disheartened.

"I… it doesn’t matter." Jongup forced a smile. "Let’s get to the river and help you, I-I guess?"

Daehyun cast a lingering glance at Jongup before nodding, seeming a little solemn.

They continued on their way out of the Foreseen Forest and Daehyun focused on not letting the pain he was feeling seep through.

  
Once they were finally out of the Foreseen Forest something seemed to dawn on Chunji, as his eyes widened and he jumped in front of Daehyun, unknowingly stopping him from the walking down the pathway to the river. He soon realized what he’d done, so moved and let Daehyun make his way over to the river but followed behind him. "Daehyun!” He called.

Daehyun nodded his head to indicate he’d heard, and was listening.

"It’s only just dawned on me that you said you’d use the  _water_  to get into contact with your brother! Do you not see what’s wrong with this picture?”

Jongup also blinked. “Does that mean his brother is a fisherman?”

"He told me he was a doctor!" Chunji puffed out his cheeks. "Which fair enough would make sense if he had other brothers which we now know he does… but  _how_ does a person get ‘in contact’ through water? It’s not possible!”

"Oh," Jongup mumbled, also realizing. "Right."

"Exactly!" Chunji marched up to Daehyun and blinked. "When I thought about it, all of it, I realized it didn’t make any sense. I realized that I’ve had it up to here with all the guessing and the having to piece things together and all the subtle hints that really aren’t hints at all because the fact of the matter is, _I have no idea what it is I’m supposed to be looking for!_ —When I do sit back and try to piece what we do know about you together I get even more confused!  
  First of all we were under the impression that you’re in of Jungshin’s elite circle of friends. Then it turned out you’re not, that you had no idea what Jungshin’s elite circle of friends was… so that eliminated that. It also eliminated the possibility that you keep up with gossip and trends and only care about money and status. So then we found out you’re actually like us, a person from the village who is working for the Palace and isn’t actually of Royal blood, so that made sense, sure.  
...But then you knew about Lilian’s disappearance and it made no sense how you seemed to know before everyone else… especially after we were all under the impression that you’d left with Jungshin. But then apparently we had a guest of Jungshin whom Jungshin requested stayed overnight. And it was  _you!_  You cornered me and you knew, you knew before anyone else did, didn’t you? And then you told me that you had to hide the information from her dad and knew all this other stuff of where she could be going was ‘dangerous’ and we had to go look for her.  
  Even when the obstacle of De, Li and Lah appeared, you could also stop that obstacle in its tracks because of the two village friends you had. It’s all a little too convenient now that I look back at it… then the sand thing really early this morning, I definitely heard what you said. That communicating through sand wasn’t working so water was the next possibility, right? And then the farmer that I had to pay just then?—He asked us if we were Royals, yes, because of what we’re wearing… but then also because he noticed how perfect your posture was.  
  The first thing I noticed about you when I really looked at you was that your facial expressions don’t seem to fit, Taemin brought up the fact that you stopped using contractions, and you said something about them being new to you, about us being new to you. You’re apparently from the village, with the posture of a Royal, yet you speak as if you’re from somewhere else entirely. In my experience, every single Royal I’ve encountered still uses contractions. Your style of speech is very, very old. You’re very evasive about your past and who you are in general. The only thing we’ve been told about you—from your own mouth about you—is that you 'know' things, you’re here for a purpose and you have brothers. Three brothers.  
  Three brothers you’re under the belief that you can contact through sand or water. On top of this we’ve just found out that you—only you—specifically you, get burned when there’s no fire around by a supposedly ‘evil’ forest. That you can feel its presence and I’m presuming see it, too? In a way that we can’t. That and the fact that I’ve also realized at the Palace you slipped up. And it didn’t make sense until now. That conversation back at the Palace between you and I when you said something along the lines of ‘huma—’ and then stopped yourself and corrected yourself saying ‘we humans’ as if to relate to me and to group us together, so nothing seemed out of the ordinary. It was weird to me even then, but I tried not to think too much of it. But now I realize that you didn’t intend to add the ‘we’ until you realized where you were and the fact that you were with a human, did you?” Chunji let out a breath. “So that leaves me to come to the conclusion that…”

"You’re not human," Jongup finished, looking and sounding dazed.

Daehyun was silent throughout the whole of Chunji’s speech. He barely even blinked. He was, however, lightly chewing at his lips. Humans were very good at piecing things together, he’d realized. Anna was very adept at it, just in a different way than Chunji. Taemin was also better at it than he gave himself credit for. Realizing that there was no use pretending any longer, since even the tiniest little detail didn’t skip past Chunji, in fact, Chunji had even picked up on things Daehyun didn’t realize he was doing, he decided to finalize it once and for all. “You are correct. I am not human,” Daehyun confirmed. “I never have been, and I never will be.”

 

~

_"We don’t even know who this person is! Stop getting ahead of yourself."_

_"Then let’s find out."_  

Lilian remembered falling asleep with a positive mind and lighter conscience. 

She was still in a semi concious state when she realized she’d moved positions, knowing she wasn’t laying on the floor any longer. In fact, it felt as if she was sitting with straightened posture, back placed against something solid, and evidently tall. A tree. She was perched against a tree.

She then felt something cool and metallic brushing against what felt like the bare skin of her forearm, which both made her shiver and feel confused. She distinctly remembered placing her cloak on top of herself before she fell asleep, wrapping herself in it securely.

Lilian let out a little yelp sound the minute she realized something had bound her wrists, and another the minute she realized her feet were also tied. Lilian nearly panicked at the thought that maybe it was a snake. But instead of allowing herself to worry and freak out about it without knowing for sure, she decided to open her eyes. She then sighed in relief. There was no snake wrapped around her limbs, and no bite marks to be seen. There was, however, ropes. Lilian’s eyes narrowed. “W-wha?”

"You’re finally awake," a voice then hissed, venom dripping from its words. Lilian couldn’t see them but she could definitely hear them, and she knew that they were close.

"Oh," Lilian grumbled. "So there was a snake?"

Yixing choked back a snort once he witnessed the expression on Jongdae’s face, the sheer, utter confusion.

"What?" The same voice hissed again, confusion seeping through. What was this girl talking about?

Lilian blinked. “What?” She then glanced around, looking for the owner of the voice, but found no one. She was still dazed, still partially convinced this was a dream. “Maybe if you stopped hissing at me, I wouldn’t believe you were the human version of a snake. If you are human to begin with. Maybe you’re a talking snake. You sounded pretty venomous a minute ago.”

"Cut the bullshit. There is no snake." If the girl was one of Them, Jongdae knew this could be nothing but a distraction tactic. To make him worry about a snake, and then once he’s distracted, claw her way out of the ropes and do with them what she will.

"That’s what I thought, when I noticed the ropes, but then you spoke. So lie all you want, but yes, there is. It’s you. Apparently.”

"I’m the snake?" Jongdae then scoffed. "That’s rich, coming from a maggot.”

Lilian’s mouth fell open, but neither could see. They, however, could tell by the tone of her voice that she was offended. “Maggot?” She puffed out her cheeks. “Do you even have any idea who I am?” She’d never used that line on anyone, though she’d always wanted to in satire. She’d also never been referred to as a maggot.

"That’s what I’m going to find out, maggot." He then chuckled, the sound harsh, biting. "Maggot to snake then, huh? I wonder who’s going to win this fight. I think I’ll put my odds on the snake. You know, _logically."_ Lilian could tell whoever he was he’d be wearing a cocky expression, especially if she’d likened him to a snake and he’d likened her to a measly maggot in comparison.

Yixing was just watching on, slightly bewildered.

Yixing was confused, but continued to watch whatever it was unfold before him, also mildly amused.

"Maybe I have backup." She chuckled. "You know, maggot friends and all. Maggot to maggot. Where we all gather together in some extravagant maggot tea party." Lilian had only intended it as a joke, but instantly swallowed her words when she felt the cool metal that had previously pressed against her forearm this time rest against her exposed neck.

"If you try anything I will not hesitate to slit your throat." Lilian tried hard not to make the gulp obvious. "So cooperate with me, maggot."

Lilian chewed at the inside of her cheek in annoyance. She then glanced up at him, taking in his facial features for the first time. He had dark eyes and even darker hair, was the first thing she noticed. His hair was probably barely a shade lighter than her own, or near enough around the same shade.

He had a sharp jawline, and even sharper cheekbones—a facial bone structure that was deserving of many compliments in her opinion—but rather than focus on this, she instead said, “Shame you’re not wearing green, eh? You’d even _look_  the part.” 

Jongdae only smirked sardonically down at her, merely raising one eyebrow. “You’re in a dangerous position right now, maggot. Say one wrong thing and I won’t hesitate to slit your throat. If I were you, I’d wisely choose to shut my mouth right now.”

Of course Lilian was a little nervous. It wasn’t every day she was held against a tree by a stranger with an admirable facial bone structure, who also had a knife pressing against the planes of her throat. But Lilian was fairly confident of her next sentence, so tried to swallow as much fear as she could. “I don’t take well to orders from fools I don't know, even fools I do know. And you won’t really kill me—”

_"Don’t test me."_

"—Because you want to know who I am. Which means you already suspect I’m someone and from what I can tell, that means you want something out of that said someone and wouldn’t kill same said someone until you got whatever it is you want out of them. So I've bought myself some time, at the very least."

Yixing’s eyes widened a fraction, impressed.

However, a burning hatred seemed to pool into Jongdae’s already dark eyes. “I already know who you are, maggot,” he’d said it through gritted teeth, eyes seeming to look even more menacing for that split second. He then smirked. “And do you know how much _fun_ I’m going to have as I tear you limb from limb?”

Lilian’s eyes widened the slightest fraction. Both at the thought that they knew she was the Princess and the fact that the man with the chiselled cheekbones seemed entirely too serious since the appearance of the knife.  
  
Jongdae didn’t wait for a reply.  _"Tell me where he is."_

A new wave of confusion swept over Lilian. “Wait, what? Who?”

"Don’t play games with me." He kicked the trunk of tree behind her with his foot and Lilian jumped. "Tell me where he is."

"I would if I knew who it was you were referring to!"

"What the fuck did I just say? I told you not to play games with me. I will not hesitate to use this," he said, turning both their attentions’ to the glimmering edges of the knife as he edged it closer to the skin of her throat.

 _"W-wait—!"_  Lilian was definitely afraid now. There was an anger brewing in this man’s eyes that she’d never witnessed in anyone, a seriousness that left her legitimately fearing for her life. The seriousness was kicking in all too soon and Lilian didn’t like it. “I don’t think… honestly… I really don’t know who it is you’re talking about.”

Another kick at the tree trunk. “My fucking brother you dipshit!” He was getting angrier. So angry he’d even given her that piece of information out to someone who could belong to Them. He knew at least one of Them already knew he and Jongin were brothers, but did that mean all of them did? He hoped they didn’t. That the one who did know was either dead itself or kept the information for its own sick benefit. He knew giving this kind of information out—in the case that the rest of them didn’t know he and Jongin were related—he really would have to kill this girl. If she was working with Them, which he was certain she was.

"Y-your brother?" She winced at the sound the collision of his foot against the trunk made, even though she tried to suppress it. She then paled at the realization that the answer she’d been supplied with wasn’t the answer she was expecting. Somehow her mind had led her to the conclusion that they knew about her disappearance and the supposed reward she’d heard Anna and Taemin discuss, and wanted in. That they were going to use her to get to her father and then do whatever it took to take over the kingdom. She actually thought she’d prefer it. Because in that moment she realized she had no idea who this person’s brother was.

And that’s when she really began to fear for her life.

Because he wanted answers and if she couldn’t supply them, then…  
  
"Aw," he said, eyes mocking. "You’re stuttering. Maggot is scared, huh? How cute."

But the fear she felt soon dissipated at the tone of his voice. The same tone that she'd heard before that was everything she loathed, seeming to be universal. It was more grating in him than she'd witnessed it in others however, and she couldn't explain why. She decided then and there that this was flat out war. “Look here you condescending piece of shit—”

Yixing couldn’t suppress the bout of laughter that was bubbling up. The look Jongdae sent after it left his mouth should’ve silenced him, but it didn’t. “I’m sorry.” He chuckled. “But, okay. I’m really not. You deserved that.”

"Fuck you," Jongdae said, momentarily directing his attention towards Yixing. Before turning back to Lilian, the smirk from before reappearing. "I’ve waited for this moment for so fucking long, you have no idea. I promised time and time again that I’ll do to you what you did to them, and also that after it takes place..." He stopped, refusing to let out any more information. He dragged the blade of the knife along her arm, not piercing the skin, but if he applied more pressured, it could have. "The fun can start after you tell me where he is and what it is you’ve done with him. With both of them."

Lilian froze, paling even more. “Uhh… there’s two of them now?”

"Don’t play dumb with me," he hissed. "Tell me where they are, damn it!"

"I uh…" She chewed on her lip to attempt to curb her nerves a little. How was she supposed to answer this without losing her life? She previously believed the man wouldn’t kill her because he needed to find out who she was, but he seemed so set on this notion that she was someone else and that she really did know where his brother and the other person was, which in actual fact, she did not. She had no idea. She couldn’t answer his question even if she tried. Lilian hands began to quiver, but she tried her hardest not to let her fear show on her, she wouldn’t meet the man with the chiselled cheekbones’ eyes either.

"And don’t play the victim either, you piece of shit. I know exactly who you are and what it is you do."

Lilian cringed as the cool metal of the blade touched her wrist. The blunt end of the blade was the section that touched her this time, and she presumed it was an intimidation tactic to make her talk, that the whole being tied to a tree and having a knife pressed against her flesh also was. But somehow she realized that if she didn’t give this man the answer he was looking for, her life could very well be over.

She’d never really contemplated the concept of death to a deepened degree and especially not how she was going to die but passing thoughts here and then happened—though they were nothing to worry about because she wouldn’t dwell on them, purely just let them come and go. However, even with that knowledge in mind, she’d never, ever thought that her death would be at the hands of someone else.

And she really didn’t want to die, especially not when she’d finally found a way to allow herself to live. To escape the refines of the Palace and do things out of her own freewill, for the first time ever.

He was tapping his foot impatiently, seeming to be glaring into her soul, wanting to reap the answer out of her. Lilian tried to convince herself she wasn’t scared, but it was becoming increasingly more difficult to deny. She realized coming here and sleeping without checking for the people that had evidently set the camp up was a grave mistake. She realized it was all her own fault for not checking and that she, herself, had walked right into it. But that didn’t mean she was just going to hand her life over to them like that. She valued her life and she wanted to get out of there alive. So she decided to wing it, and say whatever first came to mind. Anything to help her case and get her out of there alive. “The… village?” She cringed as the words left her mouth, sounding squeaked and constricted.

Apparently, judging by the man’s facial expression change, it was also the wrong answer.

The knife was then pressed against her throat at a breakneck speed, and when Lilian glanced up and met his eyes she almost winced.

They were so dark they almost appeared black. Whatever she’d done, she made him extremely angry.   
  
"You think this is a motherfucking game?" He hissed. When he got no reply he avoided the tree trunk and purposely kicked her shin this time, lips quirking upwards when she let out a sharp hiss of pain.

"What the—" She rasped, almost biting her tongue in the process. "You bastard—!"

Jongdae’s smirk only grew. “I can do much, much worse, maggot.”

The knife that had been pressed against her throat moments ago, now danced across the skin of her forearm. He never pressed hard enough to cut into the skin, and that was why Lilian believed the knife was just there for intimidation tactics. If he was going to hurt her with the knife, he would’ve already done it by now, right? “I know they were at the village. Where did you and your maggot friends drag them next? Did you come back for us? Let me guess, you’ve been tailing us for weeks? Months? Years? Seems likely considering...”

Lilian winced at the pain that was shooting through her shin. “What does your brother look like? I promise to tell you if I saw him, just please don’t kick me again.” She looked like she was going to throw up, and Yixing looked on in worry, realizing what was taking place.

"Jong—" Yixing began, only to be cut off by Jongdae himself.

"Don’t use my actual name."

Yixing’s predictions were correct and he stifled a sigh. “Right, right. Sorry Chen.” Yixing felt a little bad, realizing that he was the sole reason Chen even existed to begin with. He knew a lot about Chen--the side Jongdae had to present to enemies--practically everything that was needed to know about him, but he’d grown attached to Jongdae, not to Chen. Whilst Chen got the job done with no hesitations, no questions asked, Chen was... scary. Deranged, almost. He was much more arrogant, much less playful. There was an anger and slight sadistic streak to Chen that Jongdae didn’t seem to possess, or if he did, he hid it exceptionally well. 

He turned to face him fully. “You were going to ask something?”

"Uh, yeah," Yixing said, drumming his fingers on the tree trunk. "Why did you tell her that, uh,  _Kai_  is your brother? Especially if you’re under the impression that she’s one of Them?—Especially—if what I’ve gathered about Them from what you’ve hinted at, it seems like a very dangerous move on your part?”

"It was the heat of the moment," Jongdae muttered, seeming to drop the Chen persona for a moment. "I got ahead of myself. It’s whatever. Some of them probably already know. One was there when… you know, that took place. And since we’re such great enemies of them, they’ve probably spread it around that there was two of us?" He seemed to crouch down a little, unknowingly. "Even if my memory is a little hazy, I swear I covered Jo—Kai with a blanket and they only really noticed me?" His eyebrows furrowed. "Unless they’re so morphed up on something they can literally see through things? I don’t fucking know. But it’s besides the point because we can easily kill her once we pull the information we need out of her anyway."

Yixing nodded, but still seemed a little weary. “But what if she’s not one of Them, Jongdae? You _do_ realize that it is a possibility, don't you?”

Jongdae froze for a second. “I… not really. I didn’t think of that.” He then shrugged easily. “But even if that’s the case, oh well. She can go too.”

Lilian wanted to spit on him. “I don’t like you,” she hissed. “Like, at all.”

"The feeling’s mutual," Jongdae said easily. "Like ridiculously mutual."

Yixing decided he had to do something to break this little spat up, and soon. The girl seemed to be genuine with her lack of knowledge of Jongin and Luhan. “Hello, um…” He stopped realizing he didn’t know her name still.

"Lilian," Lilian supplied, already deciding she preferred this one to the other guy.

"Lilian?" Yixing smiled, bright and genuine. Lilian wondered then what someone as nice as this guy appeared to be, was doing hanging around with a man as awful as… cheekbones was. She’d decided she’d refer to him as cheekbones. And snake if he started the maggot thing up again. "That’s a very pretty name," there was no malicious undertones to his words, Yixing genuinely believed it was a pretty name. "I’m… Lay." He knew he couldn’t fully place his trust in her as of yet. Even if he didn’t know anything about Them still, Jongdae swore that they were dangerous, that they were a threat to them and their lives.

He couldn’t risk it. Even as nice as this girl seemed. Crouching down so he was level with Lilian, he turned to face her directly. “If you don’t mind me asking, may I ask why you’re here?”

Lilian blinked in surprise. He was so civil. A stark contrast in comparison to how cheekbones had been, anyway. “From the beginning or from today?”

Yixing chuckled softly. “The beginning is probably best.”

Lilian puffed out a deep breath. “I’ll tell you only so long as you agree to let me go.”

Jongdae’s head snapped towards Lilian and his eyes narrowed instantly, he was about to open his mouth in protest, until Yixing swiftly cut him off. “Deal.”

"What?" Jongdae echoed in disbelief. "Are you losing your mind?! She’s a threat! To us! She could know where Kai and," he cringed. "Lu...lu?—went. She could be one of Them, Lay! What are you thinking?!"  
  
"Luhan," Yixing said insistently. "Just call him Luhan. The code name thing never worked for Luhan. Also if she was one of Them, I’m presuming she’d know about us right? The names Chen, Kai, Lay and Luhan would spark some form of recognition in her features that she wouldn’t be able to hide because it would show up somewhere. Facial expression, body language, slight freeze, that kind of thing. Looking at her now, Chen, there’s nothing. She has no idea who we are. I’m pretty sure—not certain but getting there—that she’s not one of them. Now sit down and let the girl speak, you’ve already caused enough trouble as it is today."

Jongdae crossed his arms over his chest defiantly, but when he took Yixing’s facial expressions and body language into account, he soon backed off and did what he was told. Serious Yixing was a scary kind of Yixing and Jongdae didn’t want to risk it. Huffing, he made his way over to a stump and sat down on it, glaring at Lilian.

Lilian only sneered back in his direction before turning back to Yixing and softening her facial features. “Okay,” she said, taking a deep breath. “Are you guys Rogues?”

Jongdae rolled his eyes at the Rogue title. He then scoffed, but let Yixing answer.

"We’re… well, yes. We’re what you know as Rogues, yes. But it’s not really who we are. Over time people have taken what we are and twisted into a way that makes us seem like savage beasts, when in actual fact, we’re the complete opposite. We’re actually very highly trained, with high intelligence, and all have mastered the art of precision, amongst many other things. We can’t tell you what we really are and the trade we’re really a part of -- or were affiliated with for a long time -- it goes against everything we’ve ever been taught, but we are not Rogues. Nothing like you’ve probably heard, if you know about Rogues, anyway. The only reason people group us in with Rogues is because we—like Rogues when they were around—don’t have a home to call our own, and have to hunt our own food. We’re always on the run. I’ll leave it at that but please be secure in the knowledge that we’re not Rogues. At all. It’s a complete misconception made by idiots who know nothing about us or what we do."

"So," Yixing trailed off, smiling. "Your turn, Lilian."

Lilian smiled. “Okay,” she said. “My name is Lilian and I was born in December 1795—”

Jongdae almost choked. “1795?! December, 1795?!” He snorted in mild disbelief. “You’re practically a child! And you're out here by _yourself?_ Do you even know the dangers you're putting yourself in?”

Yixing also looked a little perturbed. “She’s… younger than Kai.” From the way Yixing worded his sentence, it was apparent that being ‘younger than Kai’ was something the two of them weren’t used to. Or hadn’t seen take place before.

"No," Jongdae muttered, dragging the word out. "No one’s younger than Kai." 

"When was he born?" Lilian dared to ask. It wasn’t for any other reason other than the fact that she wanted to see if it added up, that she really was younger than him. She wouldn’t be surprised if she was, she was usually one of—if not—the youngest wherever she went. If this Kai guy was the youngest they’d ever met for the longest time, then she could understand their bewilderness, especially after meeting Anna and finding out she was two whole years older than the girl.

Jongdae’s eyes narrowed, searching for an ulterior motive, but for some reason he couldn’t connect a link. Why would they need to know what year Jongin was born?

"1794," Yixing said, lightly smiling at Lilian.

"He is older than me, then."

"Just like we said," Jongdae butted in, smiling condescendingly down at a still tied to the tree Lilian. "But whatever." He waved his hand in a dismissive manner, and glanced cockily at Lilian. "Continue." He wasn’t going to voice that he was possibly quite interested in the reasons why she was here, especially if what Yixing said was true about her not being one of Them.

"Please continue," Yixing said, frowning at Jongdae. "Never mind him Lilian. He's purposely difficult."

Lilian took a deep breath before speaking, debating whether or not to include this next piece of information. She decided she wouldn’t. They didn’t need to know, or not really. If they weren’t going to tell her who they really were, she didn’t have to tell them she was a Princess. “I, um, had some problems at home and I… kind of ran away, I guess? It’s not supposed to be permanent, at least I don’t think it is, but I just needed to get away for a while to clear my mind. The problem I faced at home isn’t something that can easily be solved, you know? I know it probably sounds immature running away but I just… I couldn’t be there any longer. The main reason I’m here as well—aside from running away—is because ever since I’ve been alive all I’ve wanted to do is to be able to be free to see the world. To not be confined to one space for too long, which is kind of the only think I’ve ever had at home. Maybe it won’t make sense to you two, especially if you don’t have a home yourselves, like you claimed. Especially if you’ve never settled anywhere for too long?” She suddenly stopped short, feeling painfully aware of how much she’d said, worrying that she might’ve sounded like she was rambling.

"I feel like there’s more to it, Lilian. What aren’t you telling us?"

Lilian cringed. “I… can’t be found.” She glanced the other way avoiding eye contact. “No one can know where I am, or where I’ve gone.” She decided to leave it at that, allowing them to deduce their own meanings from her words.

"So…" Yixing trailed off. "You’re from the village."

Lilian coughed a little, to hide her laugh. “Yes,” she said, blinking. “I’m totally from the village.”

Jongdae only scoffed at this, sounding appalled. “Why the fuck can’t people know why some little village girl ran away? What’s with your heightened sense of importance? It's not like anyone would give a damn.”

Lilian snorted. ‘Some little village girl’ who happened to be a Princess.

Yixing sent a glance Jongdae’s way before cringing slightly, knowing how Jongdae was going to react to the next words that were to leave his mouth. “She probably has a family waiting for her, Chen. You know… parents and stuff?”

Jongdae quickly shut his mouth. “…Right,” he said, deciding the ground was suddenly the most interesting thing at that moment in time. “Of course.”

"It’s more than just parents," Lilian said, smiling as if she knew something they didn’t. Not even noticing that the atmosphere had become tense, especially near Jongdae.

Jongdae glanced up at her. “Siblings, then? How many?”

"Two," Lilian answered easily, but made no attempt to go out of her way to smile or be civil to Jongdae. "But once again, it’s more than just siblings."

"There’s something else you’re not telling us, isn’t there?" Yixing guessed, quirking an eyebrow at Lilian. Lilian smiled easily and nodded.

Which only piqued Jongdae’s interest more, but he wouldn’t admit to it. “Force it out of her,” Jongdae then said, leaning back a little on his seat and smirking. “You’re the one holding the knife.”

"Actually," Yixing muttered. "You’re the one holding the knife."

Jongdae’s smirk faltered. “Right.” He then stood up onto his feet. “The I’ll be the one to do the honors, it is decided,” his tone of voice had now changed to a sing-song tone and it weirded Lilian out more than anything else.

"Wait—!" Lilian said, eyes narrowing as she turned to Yixing. "We had an agreement—! You promised! You can’t—"

Jongdae chuckled darkly. "And we _lied."_

"Which we’ll stick to," Yixing said, pushing Jongdae out of the way and directing him to go sit back down. "There are a couple more things I want to ask before we let you go, though."

Lilian sighed in relief and nodded.

"Okay," Yixing began. "I first of all want to ask why you’re here. In this particular forest and this particular camp. Please be honest with me, I promise I won’t be mad."

There was something very calming about Yixing and his presence, Lilian noted. “I think it’s mainly because the other forest is cramped, I tried to sleep there but the sleep I got really wasn’t refreshing.”  
  
"Are you claustrophobic?" Yixing asked. "The other forest is very narrow, yes, but in our experience—in dire situations—we’ve had times where we’ve had to sleep there. And yes it was uncomfortable, but not entirely impossible? And when I say we, I mean all of us, even Kai. Who in comparison to us, is quite a bit taller. Compared to you, he’d be very tall. It doesn’t seem to—" His eyebrows then furrowed. "Unless— Which direction were you laying?"

"Horizontal."

"Stop talking to her like she’s not our enemy!" Jongdae glanced between the two of them and huffed at the fact that they seemed to be getting along. Blasphemy, in his opinion.

Both Lilian and Yixing rolled their eyes in unison.

"Ah," Yixing then said, in reply to Lilian. "That makes sense. Why not vertical?"

"Because…" Lilian shuddered. "Bugs."

Jongdae burst out into laughter, condescending, mocking laughter. “You’re scared of _bugs?”_

Yixing sent him a glanced and mouthed the word ‘blood’ to him, almost snorting when Jongdae flinched instantly.

"At least I have a reason to be afraid of what I’m afraid of! Being afraid bugs is absolutely pathetic, what can they even do to a person?"

"Crawl inside them and eat them and then lay eggs and—" Lilian shuddered. "Then they’re slimy and crawly and dirty and I just—no thank you."

"I guess maggot isn’t really fitting then," Jongdae mused, moving a little closer. "Does it make your skin every time I call you maggot, huh? Do you know what maggots look like?" His smile made Lilian feel weary. "I could go find one and show you, I’m sure they’ll be camping out in the forest somewhere, if we look deep enough."

"You don’t need to. I’m already looking at one," Lilian hissed. Lilian then kicked her leg, trying to reach out to kick him but realized in that moment that her feet were still bound. She scowled.

"Why not just refer to her as Lilian, Chen?"

"Because that takes all the fun away."

"You take all the fun away," Lilian grumbled. "Why are you even here?"

"I could say the same thing to you, maggot. At least I live here, you’re trespassing."

"How can I trespass if there’s nothing to trespass into?"

Jongdae only rolled his eyes, not even affected by her words. “Now,” Jongdae said, inching closer. “I’m the one that gets to ask the next question.” The knife was glimmering behind his back and Lilian sighed. Back to the intimidation tactics.  _"Where is my brother?"_

Lilian wanted to scream. Was he serious? Didn’t they come to the conclusion that she really had nothing to do with a Kai or a Luhan and had never heard of them before? “I do not know,” she enunciated every single syllable. “I thought we’d been over this already?”

Jongdae scoffed, eyes dark once again. “You ran away from home? You expect me to believe that bullshit? Tell me what you’ve done with my brother or I swear I will cut you up into pieces, right here. Right now.”

"I’ve done nothing with your brother! Nothing to your brother. Hell if you hadn’t have brought him up, I wouldn’t even know he exists."

Jongdae gritted his teeth. “I hateliars.”

"I’m not lying! I’m genuinely not lying. I know nothing about a Kai and the other one—I swear. I really, _really_ don’t." 

"What does Kai look like?"

Lilian’s eyes widened in disbelief. “I don’t know? Lay said he’s tall? That he’s your brother? Dark hair, dark eyes? Please don’t kill me,” Lilian was getting a little frantic. “I’m sorry if I’m wrong.”

"You’d be better off if you were wrong," Jongdae hissed. "Answering correctly only makes me more suspicious. Since you’re right about general appearance, we’ll go even further. What is Kai’s most distinguishing feature on his face?"

Lilian gulped, feeling progressively more nervous as the knife made its way closer.  _"Toes?"_  She winced when she realized what she’d said and wanted to bury herself in a hole in embarrassment. They said face not body. “Wait—you're brothers... cheeks? I don’t know?  _Not toes?”_

Yixing laughed out loud, finding Lilian and her behavior slightly adorable. “Chen, can we stop this—”

"No," was Jongdae’s instant reply. "What color is Luhan’s hair?"  
  
"Uhh… black? Blue…? Indigo? Violet?" She then glared directly at Jongdae. "How am I supposed to know?!"

"He’s blond," Yixing said after Lilian’s reply.

Lilian nodded, recognition morphing onto her features. Jongdae blinked. “I met a blonde.”

Yixing’s head also snapped up, something looking like hope brewing in his eyes. His eyes that since Lilian had first seen them, always appeared genuine. “You did? When?” He didn’t want to get his hopes up too high, but in all of his years he’d only ever known or seen one blond. When they visited the village, no one else they’d get a glimpse at would have blond hair. It was just Luhan, in Yixing’s experience.  
  
"Uh, yesterday some time? A girl called Anna. She was tall and pretty. Nice, too. Much nicer than you anyway," she said, directing the last sentence to Jongdae.

Yixing’s shoulders deflated a little. “Anna isn’t Luhan.”

Lilian nodded. “I guess not. But that’s the only blonde I’ve met within the span of leaving the—uh, home and getting here.”

Yixing patted her lightly on the hand before turning to Jongdae and asking for his knife. Jongdae’s eyes narrowed but he knew he couldn’t refuse him.

"Untie her hands, but leave her feet for a moment, I have one last question," Jongdae said, handing the knife over. "She’s lucky she’s sitting, or else she’d fall over."

"Or not," Yixing said. "She has a rope around her stomach that’s attached to the tree as well, you idiot."

Jongdae only rolled his eyes. “I thought you were untying that one, too? With what I said, I had that already in consideration.”  
  
Yixing leaned down to where the ropes were wrapped around her wrists. Making sure not to graze her skin, he placed the knife against the rope, and used it knife to saw away the remaining remnants of rope. He then did the same for the stretch of rope that was wrapped around her stomach and the width of the tree. It took a little longer to saw away the rope here, but eventually he did it.

"What is your token?" Jongdae asked once Lilian’s upper torso and hands were free. She still didn’t stand up though, knowing how futile that would be if her feet were still tied together.

Lilian’s nose scrunched up in confusion. “Token? For what?”

"Fine," Jongdae said, as if he was talking to a child. "What is _the_ token? Pretty sure you all know that, don’t you?"

"Token?" Lilian repeated, still as confused as ever. "For what?"  
  
Jongdae let out a frustrated sigh. “The item They always leave around to show they’ve been there. To intimidate. To let people know exactly who it is they’re dealing with.”

Lilian raised an eyebrow. “But why would 'They' do that? Do 'They' want to be caught out?” She then chewed on her lip. “And a maggot, maybe? Since you keep referring to me as that, maybe it has something to do with Them, right?”

"Untie her," Jongdae said, scoffing in disbelief. Yixing sighed in relief, knowing for certain now that she wasn’t one of Them, "She’s absolutely ridiculous. You know what? Screw it. Let her go. Let them come after her instead of us. Hell with this lack of knowledge on the subject matter, she’d probably walk right into it. I was slightly debating the possibility that maybe she’s _such_ a good actor, she can convincingly pretend she doesn’t know a thing for a while, too? But honestly, who doesn’t know what the token is? Jesus. None of them would be able to fake that convincingly."

"Maybe because I’m really not one of 'Them' and you should’ve listened in the first place? Or hell, even _looked_ for the token beforehand to check if I was carrying one, no?" She narrowed her eyes at him. "What kind of creep ties someone to a tree whilst they’re still unconscious when they know nothing about them? You couldn’t have woken me up beforehand and introduced yourself? Rude."

"Formalities to people like you mean shit to me. Just get the hell out of here," Jongdae said menacingly. "And if you dare come back, keep in mind that I will not hesitate to kill you."

"Sure thing," she said breezily, hopping up and moving towards the clearing. "Don’t miss me too much, snakeboy." She then glanced towards Yixing and smiled, before waving at him. "Bye Lay. It was nice meeting you. Hopefully you’ll ditch this idiot eventually. You deserve better."

Jongdae’s eyes were like ice after she’d finished her sentence. Lilian only laughed, hoping he’d trip over and land face first in a ditch full of insects.

Yixing smiled and returned the wave. “Bye, Lilian. Please don’t take anything Chen says to heart, I’d like to see you again one day. It was nice meeting you, too. Take care, okay? Would you like me to accompany you back to wherever it is you’re going?”

Lilian smiled gratefully, but shook her head. “I’m sure I’ll be fine. Thank you for offering though. Bye!”

 

Across the surrounding land area, the opposite end of where Lilian stood--currently happened to be the clearing of the forest in which Yixing and Jongdae's camp lay, stood the three who had not long since left the confines of the Foreseen Forest.  
  
Daehyun was perched on the grass of the riverbed, concentrating on the water. His posture was perfected, sitting effortlessly straight and still, whilst Chunji and Jongup watched on from a distance, standing.  
  
"Why is he just... staring?" Jongup asked, a little nervously. He turned towards Chunji with a confused expression, furrowed eyebrows. "Isn't something supposed to... happen?"  
  
Chunji had quite the perplexed expression on also. "I suppose we'll have to wait and see?"  
  
Jongup nodded, deciding that was the best course of action for the moment.  
  
Daehyun was completely still for several more minutes, until finally, he made a movement. He advanced towards the river. Leaning over so his head was above the water, able to see his reflection.  
  
Chunji and Jongup watched on in bewilderment as Daehyun began to whisper something into the ripples of the water. Something that no matter how hard they tried to decipher it, they couldn't. It was jumbled and quick, completely undecipherable. Phrase after phrase left his lips, and the closer Chunji and Jongup edged in, the more confused they got. It soon became apparent that it was an entirely different language Daehyun was speaking. Daehyun suddenly stopped whispering in this other language into the water and turned to them. "Flask?" He asked, expectantly.  
  
Jongup passed it over numbly. Hands then flopping to his sides, and continuing to watch Daehyun in a nervous bewilderment. Just what was he doing?  
  
Daehyun smiled gratefully at Jongup. "Thank you. I shall be fine if I keep this with me." He then filled the flask with the patch of water he'd whispered into, tightly screwing the cap back on, once he'd filled the flask up. He wasn't done, not yet. The burns and welds into his skin from the forest were still visible, and would only disappear once he'd finished the process. The process he'd only just started.  
  
"What is he saying?" Chunji asked with furrowed eyebrows as Daehyun, rather than whisper, he spoke. Clearly, audibly. He kept repeating the same undecipherable, quick phrases over and over, but Chunji couldn't catch on or understand any of them. They were even more confusing than the last time around.  
  
Jongup looked quite pale as he watched Daehyun. "I... have no idea."  
  
"It is not working," Daehyun said, frowning. "Perhaps they can hear me but do not believe it is I who is trying to connect to them? Perhaps they believe they are being duped? I realize this calls for a drop of blood, to prove I really am who it is I say I am."  
  
"Blood?" Chunji echoed, cringing a little. "Why would you need blood?"  
  
"Proof of identity." Daehyun then dragged his nail across the skin of his forearm, successfully slicing into the skin of his arm. Chunji cringed as he saw the opened skin but then froze when he noticed that no blood was bubbling to the surface, but there was still a transparent liquid dripping from the torn skin of Daehyun's forearm.  
  
"It's... what the?" Chunji echoed, watching in both disbelief and horror. "Your blood is... _where_ is it?" Chunji wasn't exactly fond of blood, he didn't have a fear of it, but he didn't exactly like it either. But of all things--even knowing that Daehyun wasn't human--he still expected his blood to look like humans' did, he still expected it to be red, thick and sticky. He definitely didn't expect it to be completely clear and to be as fluid as it apparently appeared. He felt his stomach twist at the thought that when he sent another glance its way, it was actually quite... nice to look at. Blood wasn't supposed to look nice. Chunji shivered and tried to shake the image he'd just seen out of his mind, suddenly engulfed by a wave of proof that Daehyun really wasn't human. Which only made him shiver more.  
  
Daehyun nodded his head, appearing unaffected. "It is here. And yes, what you are seeing is real. It is clear," he said softly. "My kind's blood is clear. No color, saturation. Humans' blood is different, I am aware of that fact. The first time I witnessed it in person was when Taemin fell over and cut his knee, which then in turn, bled. I was very confused at first, but then realized it was a learning curve, so I tried to learn and inspect it as much as I could. I believe I scared him away. Perhaps you are having the same reaction?"  
  
"I, uh, maybe," Chunji began, grimacing. "I'm going to go sit down for a while, okay? You... keep doing what you're doing. I'll, uh, leave you to it."  
  
Jongup nodded in agreement. "I," he said shyly. "I-I'll join him."  
  
Daehyun turned to face them, and watched as they shuffled quite a distance away from him before sitting down. He was trying to decipher their emotions, but was finding it exceedingly difficult all of a sudden. He shrugged as he decided humans were very complicated creatures and then continued with his task at hand. He chanted a few new sentences over and over, trying to tap into the frequencies he needed to allow this phone call to take place. It was a difficult, confusing process for any who weren't familiar with it. Daehyun wouldn't be able to explain it to Chunji and Jongup even if he tried.  
  
He waited a while, watching as the patch of water he'd dropped his blood into began to twist and ripple softly, a splash then happened and he grinned as he realized he'd reached one of his brothers.  
  
"Brother!" Daehyun seemed to exclaim, sounding very excited all of a sudden.  
  
Chunji and Jongup's heads snapped towards the light blond, eyes widening. It was the first time either of them had witnessed such a reaction from Daehyun. Regardless of circumstance, or situation, he always looked so calm and always sounded so calm. Daehyun's entire presence had a calming effect, and it was very odd for them to witness him be anything but calm.  
  
They soon realized it wasn't exactly that Daehyun wasn't calm any longer, maybe evident that he was a little excited--a slight spike in contrast to his general calming aura, and unchangeable neutral reaction to situations that called for anything but--but in comparison to the calmness the second voice projected, it was enough to make the light blond sound a little brighter, a tad more enthusiastic.  
  
'You are in the company of others?' It asked, and it was as though a wave of calm washed over the entire setting. Not commanding, nothing to be afraid of, just a gentle, wisp of a thing that blew by ever so gracefully. Kissing gently all that lay in its wake, almost wrapping them in a sheen of protection, nurturing them. Telling them that it was okay, that they would get by.  
  
Chunji felt his eyes widen at their own accord. "Wow," Chunji said, suddenly feeling a sense of complete ease wash over him. Chunji realized there was something off with Daehyun not so long after meeting him, but it took a while to piece the pieces together. Just this voice alone, he knew something was... different. Magnified. But nevertheless the voices' gentle caress made him feel like all the worries, the weight of the world on his shoulders would just disappear. He felt... healed in a way. Like he'd just been reinstalled with the knowledge that there really was hope left. That it wasn't the end. Not by a long shot.  
  
"Yes," Daehyun said, smiling. A smile that seemed natural, not oddly aligned this time around. "I am with two human friends."  
  
'Friends?' The voice asked, as an even more calming, gentle laugh proceeded. 'That is one thing I have always admired about you, Daehyun. You treat everyone as though we are equals. As friends. Regardless of birth order, position or race.'  
  
"Because they are my equals," Daehyun said, almost instantaneously. "I do not believe I am above anyone."  
  
'Just that it is your duty to lead them, am I correct?'  
  
Daehyun nodded and then realized his brother couldn't see him, and he almost chuckled at the fact that he was now even adopting human mannerisms. "Yes," he said. "That is correct."  
  
'May I meet your friends?' He asked, sounding intrigued. 'Hello, Daehyun's friends. Please refer to me as the Third J. I am the fourth born in our Kingdom. As of current, I cannot give you my full name, there are few in your century who know of our existence and they are not good people. If you two are ever put in the position where they find out you have been subjected to us, it would be wise for you not to know our true identities. It is a risk to both yourselves and us, also. If Daehyun trusts you enough to contact me in front of you, I believe it shall be okay to at the very least, give you an initial of my name.'  
  
Daehyun turned to Chunji and Jongup, both looking a mixture of evidently physically relaxed, and also slightly terrified. "How is his voice so... calming?" Chunji asked, completely perplexed.  
  
Before Daehyun could answer, 'the third J' asked a question, directing it towards Chunji.

'You have lost someone?'  
  
Chunji froze mouthing a 'he knows about Lilian?' to Daehyun. "H-how does he know about Lilian?"  
  
Daehyun shook his head. "He is not referencing Lilian here, Chunji." He took a deep breath. "The third J," saying his brother's name like that made Chunji feel a little uncomfortable, but he knew revealing their identities before it was due was not a wise move, just like his brother had previously said. "Those kind of endeavors are not his forte, they are mine. He is referencing someone you lost. Someone who..."  
  
"Died?" Chunji finished, realizing exactly what the third J was referencing.  
  
Daehyun nodded.  
  
'Both of you?' The third J then said, taking Jongup into account, also.  
  
Jongup then froze, not wanting to delve into the topic the third J was referencing at all.  
  
'There is fear in the heart of the youngest,' the third J said. 'He is doubtful.'  
  
"I know that," Daehyun said, turning to Jongup. "With me around, I am sure I can help quench this. I can guide him in the right direction. Do not worry, brother. Jongup is in need of guidance, which of course, I can provide. But I am unsure of whether it is I he would gravitate towards, in a way? Somehow I do feel as though T would do a better job at it than myself, currently. To instil the strength of mind, of will and focus within him, even though it seems that is not his original alignment. It is somehow off putting, I feel as if I am weakening. I do not want to weaken. I genuinely feel as if it is I whose guidance he is seeking, but somehow..."  
  
'In the same way Chunji appears to be seeking my guidance?'  
  
Chunji almost choked on the air he was inhaling. "W-what? I'm doing what now?"  
  
"Do not worry about it, Chunji. It is nothing to be afraid of. If I try explain now it will not make full sense as you are still unaware of what we actually are. However there is something within you, within your being that gravitates towards either myself or one of my brothers. All it does is purely signify the fact that you are in need of their guidance. That you align with what it is they encompass. That if we were to scout you, you would then need to be taught the ways of our life primarily from the one you had gravitated towards. We would be your mentors. Your main mentor. Others could also teach you, but it would not be half as effective as the one you gravitated towards teaching you. It is nothing to be afraid, or ashamed of. Every human, whether they realize it or not, will gravitate towards one of us, regardless of how small an action it seems. You do not gravitate towards me, in fact, it is evidently the third J you are gravitating towards."  
  
"H-how come I can't tell, then?"  
  
"I presume you can. That his presence is having such a welcoming affect on you. Those who match up with the third J's alignment, always seem to be the most accepting of it after the initial shock and surprise has subsided."  
  
Chunji nodded, understanding. "What about yours?"  
  
Daehyun suppressed a sigh. "I do not seem to have many gravitating towards me, as of current. Ever since I stepped foot here, actually. There will be some I am sure need my guidance and I try to reach out to them, but they will not respond. Ever. It is quite unsettling. It makes me second guess myself and my judgement."  
  
'Which is why he believes he is weakening,' The third J said. 'But evidently that is not the case, if he is noticing a pattern between them. If they all seem to blank him out, or are unaware of him or the fact that they are gravitating towards him, perhaps that is his main indicator to identify them.' The third J then directed his speech back to Daehyun. 'Daehyun, please do not doubt yourself, and please also keep in mind I am currently in our kingdom. I am at my strongest, whereas you are trying to adapt to life on earth. We do not expect instant results, it will take time. You have been disguising your true power and form and are in the process of adopting an entirely new life pattern. It is not that you are weakening, just that you are getting better at disguising yourself. The individuals there do not know who you really are, and that is the most important thing. I realize you would enjoy to meet those who align with you, those that need your guidance, but perhaps they just need time? Or that they are oblivious to what it is you are trying to get through to them? Perhaps Jongup is in need of your guidance, he just needs time to adjust. To accept it. Are you aware of the alignment the two humans you are living with possess? Is it you they seek?'  
  
"Anna and Taemin," Daehyun said, smiling at their names. "I am a little unsure, actually. Anna I know for certain is not needing my guidance nor is she under my alignment. Taemin is harder to tell, perhaps because he seemed quite oblivious?--Unwilling to open his eyes? I could not seem to reach him, regardless of what I tried." Something seemed to spark behind Daehyun's eyes for a second. "Unless that is the trend of the ones that gravitate towards me?" He turned to Jongup, raising an eyebrow. "Perhaps?"  
  
'Possibly. You should also keep in mind that you are one of our strongest, if not our strongest. Your alignment is also very strong, quite commanding. It is powerful. You are looking for warriors, Daehyun. The rest of us are not. Perhaps those under your alignment do not realize their strength? Perhaps they do not believe in themselves enough, there are many possibilities. Just keep looking for patterns and trends between those you feel are looking for you. I am sure you will figure it out that way.'  
  
Daehyun nodded. "I believe you are correct." He then smiled a little sadly, evident that he missed his brothers and their presence a lot. "How is T, by the way?"  
  
'T is preoccupied with convincing H that he knows exactly what it is that he is doing, something H has the audacity to doubt. They have been arguing quite constantly as of late. I am getting quite exhausted with it. Second J is also. He pushed them out of his room at one point, it was quite humorous.'  
  
Daehyun laughed. "I bet."  
  
'H is under the impression that something is going to gravely wrong somewhere and somehow. He is angry at T because he knows T knows also, but T refuses to step in until it is his time.'  
  
"Connected to me or elsewhere?"  
  
'I believe it is elsewhere. T is insistent that we let you carry out your duty and deeds first and foremost, insisting timing is exceedingly important. Now that I think of it, he is very patient.'  
  
"Very patient and wise beyond his years. He always has been. H, on the other hand, is very young in comparison to ourselves. He is hasty and impatient, but I do believe T can handle him and make him see sense."  
  
'I hope so. H seems to get more impatient and hasty as the hours pass. He believes he is...' The third J sighed. 'You are aware of how he is.'  
  
"He has high aspirations, if I am honest, I quite admire that."  
  
'But he could cause a lot of trouble, it is actually beginning to worry me. T is right, we absolutely cannot rush anything. Everything has a set time and place and if we alter that, who knows what could happen. If T says we are to wait, we are to wait. He knows more about this kind of thing than the majority of the rest of us, possibly with the exception of you? I cannot say for certain.'  
  
"Timing is very important. T is correct, and I can understand where he is coming from with only wanting me to be the only one carrying out deeds at the moment. He wants it done perfectly, he is entrusting me to do all of this without setting a foot wrong. His insight and foresight is much, much stronger than the rest of ours, you are right. So much is at stake, he is also right. But there is one thing I do not seem to be comprehending. H isn't referencing myself. H does not want T and himself to barge into my matters. But if he has an inkling there is something else going on elsewhere, and is trying to get T to recognize it-- in fact, you did say that T has recognized it. The fact that H can see that T has recognized that something may go amiss somewhere but refuses to act upon it until his time, that is possibly what is bothering H most? T knowing, but not acting--because he does not yet understand that T can see much further than that and if always knows when the best time to strike is?"  
  
'Or perhaps they are T's matters? And T does not want H interfering? Perhaps T knows more than H is giving him credit for? Which is then bothering T because T is much older and much, much more experienced with our ways of life. H is practically a baby in comparison to us.'  
  
"That may be what it is, I see your point."  
  
'And like you said, with that kind of foresight, what H is suggest will just sound like child's play to T. Or perhaps T realizes that H is misinformed. T can see everything H can and more but knows when the right time to strike is. Timing is exceedingly important and if H messes with something before it is due... it could be disastrous. T has to distract H and stop him from doing anything rash. We do know that.'  
  
"Also correct. We, however, do not know what it is H and T are seeing so we cannot say for certain what is the correct course of action. Everything has a set place, a slot of time solely its own, but perhaps, not everything. Some things are bendable. What H may referring to could be one of those things, I cannot say for certain, but it is a possibility. I know what kick started my main reason for being here is also one of those things."  
  
'Ah, yes. The boy. How is the boy?'  
  
Daehyun's eyes seemed to light up at this question and Chunji and and Jongup watched on in awe as he genuinely smiled. "The last I have heard from him was prior to departure. I am trying not to worry, but it is difficult. I just want to find him to make sure he is safe. We cannot lose him."  
  
'If only he had not..."  
  
"He had seen things he was not supposed to see when travelling to his future, which led him into the endeavor. In retrospect, I should have realized then, humans are much more susceptible to excitement and journeying alone, unprepared, if the results can be deemed to be exciting. Sometimes I forget we have had a much longer run, seen much more than they deem possible. It was an ill advised move, but not one I can blame him for. What I must do is find him and make sure he is successfully returned, so he can wait it out, until it is Destined to take place. But I am also worried..."

'Worried? Because there is only supposed to be one per...'  
  
"No, no. T had held onto that idea for some time, but he retracted it, or hinted at retracting it a little while before I came to earth. I think he came to the realization that each and every one of us has one of them. It is just about finding them and finding a way to connect with them. To guide them. As the first, he was guided himself. When J found out who he was and what had happened, he let him in with open arms. But he is also what we are. With extra. So that is why he is under the impression that he also has one, whilst being of the same kind. There is no law that dictates that two of them cannot be found and guided within the span of the same century. It is one--or supposedly--one per century. But if there is one from this century and also another from the next--brought here by time travel--we shall be fine, especially if the one from the future is to be aligned in the future, just returned.  Especially if they are linked to a different one of us. Especially if something in the next century had impacted, or gotten in the way of them, or their lives. Now that they are here, if something goes wrong here, we will not be able to reach them in the future. Which will impact on us tremendously. With what has taken place, he is my responsibility, and I must find him and make sure his return is successful. It is my duty. With the first J's help everything should go according to plan. But..."  
  
'I have difficulty wrapping my head around how it works sometimes, if I am honest. I hope to find mine when more prepared, truthfully. I do not hope it to be this century.'  
  
"Which is understandable."  
  
'Anyway, you said you were worried. But not for that reason. For which reason are you worried, Daehyun?'  
  
"Because of the Nocens. I believe they are up to something. Scheming in the shadows, perhaps? They have something planned, I am sure of it."  
  
The third J was silent for a short while. 'I feel like you are hinting at something to do with _him._ But that would not make sense since he has been off the radar for some time now and has not been detected by us since then, no?'  
  
"You are right. But somehow I cannot stop my mind from that heading in that direction. Perhaps I was imagining it, but I could have sworn I have felt traces of him in the most unusual places. It is putting me on edge a little. What I sensed... it was almost as if he _wanted_ to be found. That he was taunting me. Perhaps I am over thinking it because he is my enemy. Because I am his enemy. Because we are each other's true equal, each other's true opposite."  
  
'Nothing has popped back up, I would not worry about it too much. We would know if he was back, Daehyun. We would be the first to inform you. Please do not doubt that.'  
  
"You are right," Daehyun said, nodding. "But still, there is one thing that does not make any sense to me. Which is his dropping off the radar for so long. In what I have learned about him over these years, that is not who he is. Not at all. It is making me question whether he really had disappeared or not? Perhaps he has found a better way to hide and disguise himself? Has he strengthened his power so much that we are unable to detect him regardless of how hard we try, how close or far he may be in vicinity? I just know that if my suspicions are correct and he is planning to come back into it, to show himself on the radar... we cannot predict what will happen. The worst thing that could happen was if the human boy--whose name I will spare to mention for obvious reasons--has somehow ended up near the Nocens, or near this supposed headquarters the Nocens are building. If he is with them as well, and he finds out this human boy is linked to me... then... I dread, brother. I dread."  
  
'Please do not trouble yourself with those kinds of thoughts, it is nearly impossible that it will happen. And even in the case that your special human boy ended up there or near there, how would they find out? How would they be able to tell? They would just see him as another human to imprison, as they did years before, when he was on our radar. In which case you will find him and retrieve him before they can do any detrimental damage. Perhaps I am the one to overthink this time, but perhaps his Destined ability -- if such a thing exists -- will manifest in such a situation and be of use to him.'  
  
"I would hope so, but only under the knowledge it would not bring further harm to him. But brother, you are right. I definitely am over thinking it." He then sat himself down on the riverbed. "The main reason I called you, brother, was because I have recently entered the Foreseen Forest--"

'The Foreseen Forest?' The third J sounded slightly appalled. 'You know what that place is said to be able to do to us. Why would you risk it?'

"Because I am courting two humans and any other means of transportation would terrify them, I could not risk that either. Walking through the Foreseen Forest was the only other way to get here and get to this river, to contact you. To discuss with you. And also to ask to lend a pinch of your healing abilities, to heal myself, and possibly my friends if it comes to that? We have a lot we must carry out."  
  
'I understand, do not feel as though you have to justify yourself to me, Daehyun. I shall send you a little extra, just in case you or your friends get injured again. How much are we talking? A pinch, possibly a bottle? A little more?'

"Enough for a journey's worth?"

'That is doable. Please tell your friends to cover their ears, when two of us are speaking in our native language, the frequencies are too high for them to cope with, it would probably be wiser for them to leave the premises for a couple of minutes, also.'

Chunji and Jongup hopped onto their feet, now believing anything Daehyun or his brother said. They'd had enough proof not to doubt the fact that Daehyun wasn't human any longer. They quickly made their way down past the bridge, passing it and sitting further ahead on the stretch of land Daehyun currently sat. Daehyun nodded to indicate that they were far enough not to be able to hear them any longer.

Once the exchange had taken place, and the third J had successfully lended Daehyun his healing abilities temporarily, and filled the flask with water that would also continue to heal long after the temporary abilities had disappeared, Daehyun said his goodbyes to his brother, telling him he'd try and contact him soon and that he dearly missed them all.

The third J told him not to worry about it, but that they also missed him and the first J often, as well.

Daehyun made his way over to Chunji and Jongup, smiling. Completely healed, too.

Jongup only blinked in mild surprise but Chunji's eyebrows scrunched together.

"Okay," Chunji said. "I've had it. What the hell are you?"

Daehyun smiled a fraction. "The exact opposite," he said easily, almost teasingly.

This did nothing to ease Chunji's confusion. "What?"

"You will figure it out eventually, I am sure of it. For now, we should not worry. In fact, we have a certain Princess we need to look around for. Are you ready?"

Chunji blinked in surprise but instantly stood up onto his feet. "Right," he said. "Of course. Let's do this!"

Chunji decided he'd lead the way, even if he didn't know the way. Besides the next obstacle was a bridge, and he couldn't get lost that way, so took the lead, Jongup directly behind him and Daehyun after Jongup.

 

She was halfway across the bridge when she collided with someone else. Someone who appeared to be calmly making their way across, not entirely honing in on their surroundings, but not exactly entirely oblivious to them.

Muttering a string of curse words and something along the lines of  _'who does he think he is? what an absolute jerk, he's not even from the Palace and he's on the same level of arrogance that Jungshin is and I never thought that was possibly but... He's not even worthy of being a snake, more like a goddamn toad, damn it! I hate him.'_   “I’m so angry right now I could probably kill someone, damn it.” She then came to a halt, and hissed, because no matter how hard she tried to move, she couldn’t. Something was in her way. “Why aren’t I moving—this damned bridge—what more could go wrong in a day? Argh."

A soft, albeit confused chuckle sounded.

"Hey," she then hissed, not glancing up, realizing it wasn’t the bridge ruining her day by not letting her pass, but a person. A person evidently taller than she. "I swear to god if it’s you again ‘Chen’, or you've got some net barrier or something tied into place, I'll cut through it and  _I’ll_ be the one to tear you limb from limb and cut you into pieces, you hear me?! You haven’t witnessed me truly angry yet, and let me just say right now, you really don’t want to. I'm doing the exact thing you told me to, which is leaving, so stop with the stupid tricks."

"I have actually," an all too-familiar voice said, but Lilian still didn’t glance up. She was angry. Chunji then smirked, it wasn’t a cocky smirk, but an amused smirk that graced his lips. "I must say, you were quite terrifying. It’s not something I want to witness again, if I’m honest,  _Princess.”_

He was supposed to be mad at her, he was supposed to tell her off for running away. For not talking to him about it. For not actually giving him the note herself. For making him believe things she didn’t actually mean and making him think that they weren’t friends any more, but there and then, glancing at her, he couldn’t do it. He hadn’t seen her for two days, forty-eight whole hours, steadily reaching more. It might not have been such a significant amount of days or hours to others, but she was his best friend in the whole world and he’d never known days where she hadn’t been around, at least not since they became friends. After finding out that there were things out there that had the sole intention of hurting people like her, that there was a heightened chance of it happening if she was alone and unaware of when she was in the vicinity of one, all Chunji could do was worry. But more than that, he couldn’t bring himself to get mad at her. He just wanted to see her again.

To hug her again. For them to have one of their conversations once again.   
He just wanted his best friend back.

But evidently, Lilian had other ideas.

Lilian squeaked after letting the person’s words sink in, knowing that voice anywhere. “C-Chunji…?” She let an awkward, constricted sounding chuckle. “I must be going crazy.” She shook her head and rubbed at her eyes, before glancing up, expecting him to be a mirage. But there in front of her eyes stood her sandy haired best friend, glancing at her with a raised eyebrow, an amused expression painting his features. She blinked again, but he still hadn't disappeared. She knew they were looking for her in the village, but they never would've thought to go further. So how and why had they ended up here, especially when she'd bought so much time for herself, prior. 

Deciding it was the only way away from him, especially as she wasn't going to turn backwards, she took a deep breath, in preparation of her next move. “You know what? I haven’t been swimming in a long, _long_ time,” she then said, deciding it was her last option of escape, because there was no way in hell she’d crawl back to Chen. Before anyone could voice any words of protest or catch on to her intentions with the words she’d just said, she climbed atop the ledge of the bridge, and then without even blinking or casting anyone of the three a second glance, jumped in the water…

The silence that then followed blanketed an entire patch of land. For about a minute, no one knew what to do, or how to respond. Lilian didn't even know where the river led, but so long as it meant escape from her best friend and being dragged back to the Palace and having another interaction with Chen, she'd take it.

They were locked in state of being unable to say or do anything out of sheer surprise. Lilian was spluttering and gasping for breath by the time she rose to the surface of the water, but knew she'd be okay. She was a strong swimmer.

Chunji was the first to react—or so he thought, turning around to face Jongup and Daehyun. Daehyun wasn’t in vicinity.

Chunji blinked. “Where’s—”

"Look," Jongup said, pointing.

Daehyun was already three steps ahead of Chunji. He’d already rushed forward and dove into the river, expertly swimming over to Lilian and pulling her out of the water as though she was made of paper.

"I can swim you know," she mumbled. 

Daehyun nodded, sending her a soft smile. “We meet again, Lilian.”

"Yeah. The one time we that we shouldn’t. The one time I’m purposely hiding away from all of you and—" She stopped, eyes narrowing. "About that. How the hell did you find me?"

A lilting voice was heard, tutting. Chunji used this as his cue to walk over. His arms sternly placed across his chest. “Would you like to inform me as to the reason why it sounds like you were expecting us?”

Lilian’s eyes widened. “I, uh—”

"You what?"

She shrugged, no use lying. “Maybe I was.”

"And how?"

"Maybe I just know you all that well, it’s not that much of an…"

"I don’t think so," Chunji said instantly. "Me and Jongup okay, I’ll give you that. But Daehyun? You literally met him a few days prior. There’s no way you could’ve expected him to be assisting us. At least, not without prior warning. Also you’re not freaking out about it at all, and you keep glancing at him curiously. Like you’re waiting for something out of the _ordinary._ I think you know something else too, don’t you?" 

Lilian’s eyes narrowed. She scoffed. “This is the first time you’ve seen me in what, like, three or four days and the first thing you say to me is not even a greeting but an accusation? Aish.”

Chunji pursed his lips. “If you hadn’t already noticed, I did greet you, actually. But right now, I think I’m allowed to be a little more worried and anxious than accommodating. I’m allowed to have this conversation with you, aren’t I? Someone has to. You completely disappeared and gave no warning. Whatsoever. The entire Palace is in chaos. The majority of the village also. You’re the most talked about subject around right now, Lilian.”

Lilian’s nose crinkled. “Do you honestly think I care about how much I’m being talked about right now?” She then sighed. “Also why do you know that I’m not surprised about Daehyun? Isn’t that suspicious in itself too? Aren’t you suspicious of him randomly tagging along after only knowing me for a very short amount of days?”

"Not really," Chunji said. "Because he’s already told me everything."

Lilian turned to face Daehyun looking kind of betrayed. "Everything?" 

"Since I promised you I would not, I did not tell them. Loyalty is also exceedingly important to me. I simply called upon them for their assistance and organized a journey in which we would come to retrieve you. These lands and borders you are walking into unknowingly are very dangerous. It would be wise to turn back and return to the Palace and simply play it off as a mistaken occurrence. The Palace is where you are safe. In regards to playing it off as a mistaken occurrence, I could help with that. Very easily. To be out here all alone, Lilian, you are putting yourself in grave danger."

Lilian’s eyes honed in on Daehyun. She quirked an eyebrow. "You know, I keep hearing this. But what the hell does it even mean? Just who are you? You’re supposedly someone. According to—" she stopped there, realizing that bringing up Anna and Taemin may not be the wisest thing. Especially if they were working together. In one some secret mission against her and her journey.

"Perhaps it is better if you are left unaware. Just know that I am not here to harm you, simply protect you. Engage with your kind."

"Why?" But it was directed at her circumstances in general, rather than Daehyun's appearance. Things _had_ been weird since he arrived, now that she thought about it. 

Daehyun seemed surprised at this short question. “Pardon?”

"What’s the reason you’re here and why me who's journey gets interrupted? Why did the three of you have to come here in hopes of bringing me back? Don’t you get it that I don’t want to go back right now and I don't want you guys to get in trouble and now that you’re here, it’s something that is going to be a definite outcome? You shouldn’t have to suffer because of me. It’s not right. I chose to do this, purposely chose to go alone so you wouldn't face the brunt of the situation. You know how Palace life is, you know they'd do anything to protect my reputation, even if that means sacrificing three innocents. It's not fair. And now if we go back, there's no way I can stop what they're going to do to you." She let out a shaky breath, willing the tears back. She didn't even know Daehyun and she was going to be the reason for his imprisonment or possible execution. Of all people, why would he offer to accompany Chunji and Jongup?

Chunji chuckled. “It’s actually not a definite outcome, Princess. We were sent out as a search party. For the missing Princess. For you. It’s more dangerous for us and for everyone if you don’t return, than if you do, you know?”

"But," Lilian mumbled, eyes saddening, though she admitted it was a better outcome than their imprisonment or death. "I’ve only just gotten here. Do you know what hell it will be to return? I can’t. In fact," she rose to her full height, jutting out her chin. "I won’t. Not just yet, anyway. Come back in a few weeks maybe, or when Jungshin has a new fiancee. Then I'll go willingly."

"Lilian," Chunji tried, sighing.

"No," Lilian replied instantly. "You can’t force me."

"Lilian—" Daehyun also tried. "I am not exaggerating the dangers you have put yourself into here. I am not overestimating the dangers. If anything my descriptions will be nothing short of an underestimation. You put one foot wrong and you could very well lose your life." He stopped, taking this time to glance at her. "Something is different," he said, blinking.

Lilian almost jumped. “Hmm?”

"Something is different," He stated. "With you. You have witnessed something that has not favored you. I am sure of it."

Lilian exhaled a sharp breath. “Um,” she began unsurely. How did Daehyun know these things? “I…” 

"What was it, what did you see? Are they here, the perpetrators?"

"A-are who here…? Is it the same 'They' as was mentioned before—" She puffed out a frustrated sounding breath. "Who, Daehyun?"

Daehyun then shook his head. “That is what I am asking. Perhaps not my enemies, the Nocens, but you have witnessed something you would much rather have not, correct? From perpetrators.”

Lilian glanced down at the ground, an angry scowl taking over her features. “You can say that again,” she muttered.

Chunji turned to her. “What happened?” Worry evident in his tone.

"Look, Chunji," Lilian said a little bitingly. "I’d rather not talk about it, if that’s okay with you. Going against everything I advised you not to—"

"Hey," Chunji said, frowning. "If it wasn’t for that note you left, I never would’ve even be able to trace where you’d been or believe that what you said to me that night was pure and utter lies."

Lilian blanched. “What note?” Daehyun used this time to stealthily walk away, but it didn’t go unnoticed by Jongup.

"The note you left. The one telling us that you were leaving and didn’t want us to find you."

"No," Lilian shook her head. "I wrote a note but I tore it up into pieces when I realized that it’d probably encourage you to come after me. That was the last thing I wanted, so I left it and threw it away. There's no way you could've translated what I was saying after that."

Chunji pulled it out of his pocket. Eyebrows furrowing. “It’s in perfect condition.”

Lilian glanced down at it, confusion seeping through her. “That’s not possible.”

"Um," Jongup used this time to speak up. The sound soft, none threatening. "Maybe it was…"

Daehyun turned to face him at that moment and Jongup stopped short.

Lilian caught on to the this, her eyes instantly narrowing. But more than that, she was confused. “It was you? But  _how?”_

Daehyun was just about to speak, however, he got interrupted.  
  
"What the hell is going on here?" 

Lilian felt the anger from before bubble back up. She whipped around, already ready to throw punches. Who she’d come to know as ‘Chen’ was standing upright, arms sternly placed across his chest. 

"More like what the hell are _you_ doing here? Pretty sure this isn’t your beloved camp. I've already left there so don't attempt anything or so help me--"

Jongdae’s eyes narrowed. “You’re the worst kind of human, you know that?”

Lilian scoffed. “Coming from the likes of you, I don’t think I’ll take that to heart. You can’t pull your petty intimidation tactics out here, so just run along.”

Jongdae raised an eyebrow, anger contained. Steadily building back up, but not showing. “You think you’re tough now, huh? Got pathetic minions to back you up so you think you can talk shit? So predictable.”

"I’m the same way without them," Lilian said, unaffected. "Especially to assholes like yourself."

"You know," he said, looking very disinterested. "I came here to ask you a question. That was all."

Lilian chuckled. “Victimization now? Painting me as the bad guy after you literally just tied me to a tree with ropes and held a knife to my throat? And  _I'm_  the worst kind of human? Don’t make me laugh.”

Jongdae’s eyes narrowed, but he didn’t reply. He did seem to mutter something along the lines of  _'at least that confirms that she's human'_  under his breath, but Lilian didn’t push it.

"I mean, hell, I want to throw you in that river and drown you right now, but do you know what? I won’t. Because I’m not despicable, I’m not like you.  _You’re_  the worst kind of human, not me.” It was as if she could feel Chunji’s eyes burning holes into Jongdae. She turned to face him. 

Chunji didn’t make a move to intimidate him, nor did he spit out an insult. He merely cast a glance at Jongdae, taking his entire form in. 

"I don't think he likes you, Chen. If Chunji doesn't like you, that pretty much confirms my initial assessment. The last person he disliked off the bat was--" She stopped here, realizing he didn't need to know that. That she didn't need to speak of Jungshin any more than was necessary. 

Jongdae’s eyes didn’t leave Lilian’s face. “I couldn’t care less what some random person thinks of me. Nor if he thinks I’m bad news. I’m not the one trespassing, I’m not the untrained idiot putting themselves in a position they can’t handle. I can already tell by looking at you that the lot of you won’t last three days out here. Take my advice and leave whilst you still can.”

Lilian rolled her eyes. “Why the hell should we listen to a thing you say?”

"Because I know what I’m talking about. I live this life. Myself and Lay are presently the only two qualified enough to give advice in this area right now. Get out whilst you still can."

"You said you wanted to ask me a question," Lilian said, trying to divert the topic. When were they all going to get it inside their heads that she wasn’t leaving, nor giving up her adventure so easily? "What is it?"

Jongdae paused for a second. “Earlier,” he said. “You mentioned a girl called Anna, right?”

Lilian was quiet, worrying what he wanted with this information. What if he wanted to hurt her? She nodded a little wearily.

"She was tall and blonde right?"

Lilian nodded again.

"She has a best friend named—"

"Taemin," A voice Jongdae previously not heard said. Daehyun. "Her best friend’s name is Taemin. They are under my care currently, if you have a matter to discuss about them, you should speak to myself." Daehyun took a breath. “Also, I do believe we have other matters to discuss; may my friends and I take a seat somewhere so we can carry them out. Perhaps come to an agreement?”

Jongdae narrowed his eyes. “Who are you?”

"I am Jung Daehyun. We request your cooperation. And a discussion."


	17. Somewhere I Belong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ZI8AC4AR5A

Jongdae narrowed his eyes, taking the very blond man’s form in. There was _something_ about him, something about his presence that Jongdae found oddly calming. But he was still weary, and definitely couldn’t pin point what it was. “Who are you?”

Daehyun exhaled a sharp breath. “I am Jung Daehyun. That is all you need to know for now. We request your cooperation.”

Jongdae’s felt his eye twitch at this, taking a step back instantly.

Whoever this blond man was, he clearly didn’t know who it was _Jongdae_ was. After being trained by Yixing, Jongdae knew full well not to trust anyone upon first meeting, and especially not to cooperate with them. “Why the hell would I do that?”

Daehyun took a step forward. He peered at Jongdae’s face for several seconds. He then nodded. “You are in dire need of assistance,” he stated, sounding confident in this finding. “I have not witnessed a call for help that was this strong since arriving here. If you would let me, I could help you.”

Jongdae appeared to be taken by surprise for several seconds. Finally, after several facial expressions pertaining to confusion painted his features, along with his seemingly perpetually furrowed eyebrows, he uttered out an, “What the hell are you talking about?”

Daehyun tutted. “Always with that word, why must it always be that word? Do I really give off that vibe?” With this, he edged even closer to Jongdae, watching in interest as the dark haired boy moved back.

For the second time.

For some reason, Lilian also found herself zooming in on this. “What is this?” A grin she couldn’t hold back spread onto her features, a slightly incredulous tone to her voice. “Are you  _scared?”_

"You are picking up on it," Daehyun noted to Jongdae, also seeming quite incredulous. "Even if you, presently, are unaware of it. You are reacting. Subconsciously."

At least five differing levels of confusion painted Jongdae’s features. He stood still, looking as perplexed as ever. “I don’t—” He began, but was instantly cut off by the most lilting sound he’d ever heard. So gentle, cotton-like. It clearly came from the light blond man, but that sure as hell didn’t explain what happened next. Against his better judgement, he felt his tense shoulders relax somewhat. His confusion only proved to deepen.

"You look like you have just chewed on a lemon, friend."

 _"Friend?"_  Jongdae repeated incredulously. “I hope to God you’re not referencing me with that.” Surprisingly, the usual bite behind his words was missing. He didn’t understand how, he didn’t understand why.

A laugh was heard, it was sarcastic, biting. It sounded all too far away from Jongdae’s ears. Which made absolutely no sense as when he glanced up, he’d noted he’d be able to reach her in a few footsteps. “Good luck in trying to tie Daehyun to a tree and threatening him with knives, Chen. You won’t get very far.”

Something seemed to piece together in Jongdae’s mind at this. “Yah,” he hissed, though it still sounded less venomous than he would’ve liked. He met Daehyun’s eyes. “What the hell are you doing to me?”

Daehyun edged closer, and Jongdae jumped back instantly. Daehyun seemed to sigh somewhat, a small frown making its way onto his features. “You are in dire need of assistance. How can I stand back and do nothing?”

The anger found its way to the surface full force this time. “I’m not in dire need of anything,” Jongdae hissed. He then snapped his attention towards Lilian, eyes narrowing. “I knew I should’ve gone with my instincts and killed you right there and then, you treacherous maggot. “

Lilian didn’t snap back at this instantly with more insults, instead tilting her head to the side, peering at Jongdae. Why give him the satisfaction of seeing her get angry, when messing with his head not only angered him more, but allowed her to keep focus on keeping her cool. It also posed a heightened risk of death, but somehow, with Daehyun around, Lilian felt safer. As if he wouldn’t allow that to happen, and even if he would, it wasn’t like she was completely incapable of putting up a fight. “You know what?” She asked, smirking somewhat. “Maybe you should’ve.”

It had the desired effect, if the shiver that coursed through Jongdae was anything to go by. Then the twitch, then the burning hatred that pooled beneath his dark eyes.

"Maybe you were right all along," she chimed. She wasn’t even sure what it was that was possessing her to do it, perhaps it was just to emphasize the fact that when not tied up to a tree with a knife pressed against the planes of her throat, she’d fight back. She wasn’t the type who’d sit back and do nothing in these type of situations. Especially when out of ear shot of the Palace. "Maybe we’ve got you surrounded, and there’s not a thing you can do about it."

Jongup and Chunji were watching on in both apprehension and curiosity, having no idea what was going on and what their best friend was talking about. Daehyun’s gaze was locked onto Jongdae’s features, unmoving. With how Jongdae had been stepping away from him, he kept his distance.

Lilian turned to face her best friends, chuckling a little. She sent them a playful wink as if to reassure them she knew exactly what she was doing but there was still apprehension in her sandy blond best friend’s eyes, and she figured he’d already picked up on how deranged and unpredictable the darker haired boy was. That he was worried about her safety.

But Lilian wasn’t. Not anymore. Not now she wasn’t tied to a tree, unable to move her limbs. “You know what, boys?” She asked, a sing song tone to her words. Once she’d gotten their attention, she turned back to face Jongdae, eyes void of anything. “This cooperation thing seems to be taking longer than any of us want, so maybe we should take Chen’s lead and apply one of his very own methods on himself. You know, give him a taste of his own medicine. I’d personally call it payback, myself.”

Jongdae stared straight ahead, eyes seeming to burning holes through her skull. “Try me,” he said, his eyes also void of any emotion. “I’ll kick all four of your asses at the exact same time, believe me.”

Lilian tsked.

"And," Jongdae continued, corners of his lips curving up into a dark smile. "Any others. I’ll take every single one of Them you throw my way, you sadistic bastards. I won’t be satisfied until the very last one stops breathing."

Daehyun seemed to snap straight out of his reverie at the mention of 'Them'. “Them?” He chorused, edging closer, not even bothering to pay attention to how Jongdae reacted to it this time. He examined the boy’s face, inspecting it. Them? It didn't take him long to deduce that 'Them' meant Nocens, which also unfolded the fact that they shared a common enemy. Deciding he would refer to the Nocens as Them, as evidently that's what Jongdae had come to know them as, Daehyun continued, “You know about Them? You are human and you know of their existence? This is quite eye opening.”

Jongdae glanced at him wearily. Then angrily. He gritted his teeth.

"Pissed off that you can’t hide yourself as well as you previously thought? That the past would come back to haunt you, and rather than you hunting people, people are hunting you back? How fucking priceless."

Daehyun looked like he’d been scalded with boiling water. “Oh,” he said, shuddering slightly. “No, no. You have the wrong impression, my friend. Myself and They… we are not positively connected in the slightest. Quite the opposite. We are enemies.” He stopped for a second, something akin to disdain painting his features. “Their strongest warrior… is my opposing counterpart, my sworn enemy.”

Jongdae’s knuckles, that had previously been tightly clenched in anger, loosened. It wasn’t it intentional, he was taken entirely by surprise. He found words bubbling up to the surface, but dying before they were expressed. After a few minutes of letting it sink in, of glancing at Daehyun as if he was from a different planet and perhaps made of fine gold, he let out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. “You mean,” he choked out, voice constricted. He hadn’t even taken it into account, but at some point he’d found himself sitting on the grass. “You have information on  _Them?”_

Daehyun nodded. “Of course,” he answered curtly.

Jongdae’s hands had begun to shake at some point, and he hid them behind his back, as to not draw attention to them. “M-more information than that pocket watches are their token?”

"We must be knowledgeable about those opposing us, so of course."

"You can identify members of their… organization—if that’s the right word—at first glance? You know what they look like and what it is they intend to do? Where it is they’ve taken my—" He stopped there, shivering. "If he’s—no, of course he’s—aish." His hands really began to shake at this point, but he tried to keep them out of their line of vision. Taking a deep breath as if to convince himself, he glanced up once more. "And you’ll tell me?"

Daehyun nodded. He stood tall, posture perfected. “Of course,” he said. “That is, if you agree to cooperate with us. And also understand that whilst I have a clear vision of what it is they are planning to do, whereabouts they have relocated on earth, they have masterfully hidden themselves from mine and my brothers’ radars.   
  It will be a journey, and will require a lot of effort, but I am determined to find them. Especially if the inkling I have in regards to the other half of my reason of being here deems true. With whatever connection you have with them, your reason for wanting exposure to them and their identities, I am sure it shall only prove to strengthen my reason for having to locate them. Cooperation will prove to be a success, beneficial for all.”

Jongdae looked as if he couldn’t gather enough air into his lungs. Taking a deep, shaky breath, he glanced up at Daehyun once more as if the blond man was nothing but a mere mirage—as if he’d disappear at any given second. “I don’t have to live in the darkness about Them any longer?”  

His hands were still shaky, he was still finding it hard to get enough air into his lungs. All this time… the information he’d needed for so long… was it finally happening?

Then the realization hit him, and his eyes snapped straight towards Daehyun’s. “There’s really a chance that I’ll find Jo—Kai? That I’ll save him?” Moisture had made its way into Jongdae’s eyes, and he hadn’t even noticed until now. He hoped it wouldn’t fall. “It’s not entirely hopeless?” He finally rasped out, both sounding and looking like he’d had the weight of the world on his shoulders for far too long and had contemplated giving up on so many occasions. That he was days—even hours away from giving up on all hope.

Could this be the instance that reinstalled his hope, his determination?

"Nothing is ever hopeless," Daehyun promised. He then edged closer to Jongdae, seeming relieved that the boy didn’t back away instantly this time. He offered out his hand, which Jongdae took with no hesitance. "Will you cooperate with us now?"

Jongdae blinked. “I thought we’d already established that?” There was no bite to his word, just confusion. He seemed entirely small at the present moment, child like.

It was a weird thing for Lilian to witness, so she stood there in silence, eyebrows furrowed. It was also a weird thing to think about, but maybe he wasn’t as… evil as she’d previously presumed.

"Invitation is necessary," Daehyun affirmed. "Do I have your permission?"

"Invitation?" Jongdae was lost. "To where?"

"Your headquarters."

"My… headquarters?"

But she wasn’t able to hold her tongue for too long. “Your precious camp,” she muttered. “The one you threatened me in. The one you’d be willing to sacrifice human life for. The one I’m supposedly a trespasser for entering.”

Rather than bite back at her, he nodded, seeming a little absent-minded. “Right,” he said. “Of course. You, uh, have my permission. Follow on behind me, it’s not far ahead.”

 

Jongdae walked on ahead, leading the way. Daehyun caught up to him in three easy strides, and he now stood side-by-side with him. At some point their footsteps had begun to fall in sync, something Jongdae crinkled his nose at, but made no verbal note of. He hadn’t glanced back at the other three, so he hadn’t witnessed Lilian stopping straight in her tracks and making her way over to her best friends.

Chunji and Jongup came to a halt at the sight of her nearing.

At first, Chunji believed it was because she was waiting for them to walk with her, so they could talk. So she could let them in on what had happened throughout the days they hadn’t seen one another. So they could catch up. Chunji smiled at this, he also had a lot to discuss with her.

He furrowed his eyebrows when he noticed that since stopping in front of them she made no move to walk. Nor stand beside them. “What’s the matter?” He asked, worry present.

A multitude of expressions crossed Lilian’s face. She stood still for some time longer, clearly thinking something through. She snapped her gaze towards her best friends. “I think I know what Daehyun is,” she finally said, eyes swimming with interest and intrigue.

Chunji blanched, looking entirely bewildered. Of all things he was expecting her to say, that definitely wasn’t it.

Jongup furrowed his eyebrows, but did appear to be intrigued. As if he’d been thinking about it at some point too. Perhaps they were on the same page? “Really?” He asked, edging a little closer. He then froze, as if realizing something. “Princess,” he quickly amended.

Lilian scrunched up her nose, mumbling to herself. “Don’t call me that out here, Jongup. Please.”

Jongup nodded, wanting to respect her wishes. But at the same time, she was his villages’ Princess. He served her family. It was out of respect. Referring to her by her name, no matter how many times she insisted it was fine, still felt disrespectful to him. “But, Princess…”

"Seriously," she insisted, nose still scrunched up. "We’re friends. You’re allowed to refer to me as Lilian. It’s completely fine, okay? Plus we’re nowhere near the Palace right now so don’t worry about Royal intervention. They can’t get to us out here and even if they could, I wouldn’t go down without a fight. You’re my friend, and Lilian’s my name. You’re not doing anything wrong by referring to me by my name, Jongup."

"O-okay," he said, nodding. He bit his lip to refrain from adding ‘Princess’ into it, knowing it’d be a habit that would prove to be difficult to kick.

Lilian grinned at this, hopping over to them. Her steps were carefree, her entire demeanor was too. In that moment, Chunji couldn’t help but note how happy she seemed. How much life outside of Royal intervention seemed to calm her.

She already seemed to be so much happier, as if she was in her element. Even if it was clear she had no idea where she was going, or even where it was that she even was currently.

He sighed, knowing that getting her back to the Palace was going to prove to be a difficult task. He then nodded to himself, realizing what task had been appointed to him. It wasn’t a deadline, they hadn’t said she had to be back by a certain time. The only thing they asked of him was that he returned with the Princess, alive and safe.

Perhaps they themselves realized it wasn’t just a day job? That it would take time.

With that being said, Chunji did however, realize that the more the word got out, the quicker that it spread, the more dangerous it would be to stay in one place. Village inhabitants would jump at the chance of searching for the Princess, if it included a reward.

Others didn’t even need the reward. Chunji would’ve liked to be able to link the reason to them being genuinely good people, but he knew that wasn’t the case. There was a handful of village inhabitants that were so obsessed with the Royal family and their endeavors that they’d do anything to be near them. It was quite… unsettling.

He didn’t want those kind of people around his best friend.

Lilian sent him a weary glance, blinking. “Are you… still mad at me?” She asked cautiously.

Chunji snapped back to reality at this. “Hm?”

"Are you still mad at me?" Lilian mumbled, twiddling with her thumbs. She wanted to apologize. She knew that if the roles were reversed and Chunji had pulled the stunt she did, she wouldn’t let him off straight away with no questions asked. And would probably be mad about it for a few days afterwards at the very least. It’d be hypocritical of her to expect it to be different for her best friend, wouldn’t it? She suppressed her sigh. She knew she’d put herself in this position, but had no idea of how to get out of it. To make it return to the way it used to be. Of all things, she definitely didn’t want to lose her best friend. Or have their friendship turn sour and awkward.

She knew her best friend was a forgiving person, but she also realized she’d stepped out of line. That as of right now, he still had every right to be disgruntled and snappy with her. She’d said some horrible things. She’d meant none of them, but that didn’t change the fact that they were said. And that at one point, Chunji believed she meant them.

Chunji was quiet for a few moments. Lilian felt her hope begin to dwindle.

"The note," he began, clearing his throat. "The note that you wrote, that you then tore up and discarded of that somehow landed in my palm in perfect condition… it explained everything. And as much as I don’t understand, at the same time, I kind of do. I understand that what you did, you did out of worry and concern and not out of malice."

Lilian nodded, still a little cautious.

"I don’t want an apology," he said, smiling gently.

Lilian blinked. Then raised an incredulous eyebrow. Was he playing a trick on her? A mind game? Her eyebrows furrowed at that thought though, knowing Chunji wasn’t the type to do such a thing.

"I just want you to promise me one thing," he continued.

"What’s that?"

"That from this moment on, you won’t run away without warning again. That you’ll let me in on it beforehand when you decide to up and leave. That you accept that now we’re here, we’re not leaving any time soon, that if you’re going to go anywhere, we go with you."

Lilian’s mouth opened slightly in protest. “But—” She stopped there, flabbergasted. 

Chunji chuckled. “One last thing,” he said.

Lilian closed her mouth, drowning back her protests. “What’s that, then?” She was still quite awe struck and evidently confused.

"I’d like a hug."

She laughed at this. Good naturedly, of course. Closing the distance between them, she reached up and wrapped her arms around her taller best friend. He chuckled down at her, lightly patting her hair.

"You smell like the Palace," she muttered, nose infiltrated with those all too familiar, all too rich scents.

"Many others would consider that as smelling like home, Lilian."

Lilian scrunched up her nose. “It’s not a home,” she said insistently. “It’s a prison.”

"I suppose," Chunji said softly. But he wasn’t sure how much he agreed.

The hug didn’t last too long, but it did seem as if all the sorrowful events that had recently passed between them were forgotten. Put in the past.

After the’d unlatched themselves from each other’s arms, Lilian turned to Jongup, smiling. “You want a hug, too?”

Jongup’s eyes widened almost comically and he jumped in surprise. “M-me?”

Lilian nodded earnestly.

"Princess, I—"

The nose crinkle from before returned. “What did I tell you?” She muttered, making an advancement over to Jongup. It wasn’t long before she was standing in front of him, ready to pull him into a hug.

He stood there unmoving, not knowing if he should be the first to make the move, or let Lilian. After some time, he allowed his eyes to drop to the floor, still not moving.

Lilian couldn’t suppress her giggle. The sound took Jongup by surprise, and he glanced up.

"Come here," she said gently, moving in and wrapping her arms around her other best friend who, like Chunji, was also quite a bit taller.

Jongup hesitantly wrapped his arms around the smaller girl, lightly—and quite awkwardly—patting her back.

"Jonguppie, I’m not going to break, you know."

Jongup almost jumped, but nodded, his cheeks lightly tinting.

"You’re so cute," Lilian said with a giggle, reaching up and pinching him on the cheek. Jongup’s cheeks darkened at the compliment.

After they’d unlatched themselves, Lilian made a move to stand in between Chunji and Jongup. She linked arms with both of them and nodded. “Let’s go,” she said, smiling brightly.

"Wait," Jongup had said, before they began to walk forward. "Princ—I mean,  _Lilian?”_

Lilian turned to face him. “Hm?”

"A little while ago, you said." He bit his lip, still not used to having the attention on him. Voicing his thoughts aloud always made him feel at least a little nervous, and he found himself thankful to have two friends who were both very aware of this, and patient with him. "Daehyun." He shook his head. "I mean, you said… you said you knew what he was. I mean—what h-he  _is?”_

"Ah," Lilian said, eyes lighting up. "People keep mentioning that he’s… different and stuff, right? And I swear I’ve heard it like fifteen times in the past few days and it’s kind of ridiculous that they keep saying this but then never elaborate on what it is that he, you know, _is?_ What use is it to be stated that he’s something else and then never be told what that something is… and I kept thinking about it and what it was that he could be. And then, a little while ago, he said something that I think has helped me decide on something. Of course there could be other possibilities but, yeah. A start is a start."

"What is it?" Chunji asked, now also seeming intrigued, but somehow a tad distracted. He was sure they’d all been thinking about it for some time now. That they all wanted to know his true identity. And if it wasn’t from Daehyun’s own mouth, of course they’d go out of their way to guess themselves. Especially Lilian. She’d always been a curious person. He was certain that would never change.

Lilian nodded, still seeming as if she was linking it all together in her mind. “I remember seeing an opened book on Anna and Taemin’s table,” Lilian whispered in a hushed manner, but there was an excited note behind it all. She was met with puzzled stares. “I, uh, kind of went to visit them after I realized I couldn’t sleep against grubby village walls. It’s a long story. And anyway, I didn’t want to intrude or anything with the book but I was curious and so sneaked a glance at it and read the page it was opened on.”

Jongup edge a little closer at this, seeming very intrigued. Lilian smiled at the fact that he didn’t jump or shy away this time. Perhaps he was finally starting to feel comfortable around her. She was glad. “What did it say?” He asked.

"Uhh," she clucked her tongue, as if to gather her thoughts. "It was a book that was about… other creatures. You know, non humans and stuff. I have no idea why they had it, but they did. I think it was short tales about none human type beings and stuff. Anyway, the tale that it was open on… the non human creature it was depicting… I distinctly remember that they had to be invited into homes before they could enter. And it stood out to me earlier because it’s exactly what we just witnessed with Daehyun and Chen."

Jongup took a deep breath, nodding. Perhaps they really had found their answer?

"I’m so glad you didn’t cut your hair," Chunji muttered, a little absentmindedly. "It looks so nice long."

Lilian scowled. “Were you even listening to a thing I was saying?!”

Chunji nodded, but didn’t seem all to into anything at the moment.

"You’re tired," Lilian noted, worry now present. "Did you get sleep?"

"A little bit," Chunji mumbled. "But I’m fine. Feel free to carry on. I’m sure we all want to know what Daehyun is. Regardless of how much or how little sleep we’ve had."

"Okay." She then gathered them together, her voice a hushed whisper. "The non human creature the tale was depicting was…"

She took a deep breath, as if allowing the suspense to rise. It was quiet for a few moments, gentle wisps of breeze blowing by.

Jongup shivered when one of them hit him directly. "...What was it?” Edging even closer. 

_“Vampires.”_

Jongup’s eyebrows furrowed together, a perplexed expression forming on his features. He said nothing, but there was something about his expression and demeanor that seemed to disagree with Lilian’s conclusion.

Chunji blinked, lightly chewing on his lip. He seemed to be in thought, also like he wanted to voice out said thoughts, but wasn’t sure of how to go about it. He didn’t exactly know anything about non humans, or whatever it was Lilian had referred to them as. But in regards to the scene he’d witnessed with Daehyun when Lilian hadn’t been around the vampire theory felt, for lack of a better word, odd.

"Are you sure?" Jongup asked, dubiously.

Lilian nodded, seeming quite confident in her finding. “The more the minutes pass, the more clear it becomes, no? He’s mysterious, has to be invited into homes before he enters them.”

"Couldn’t that just be out of politeness?" Chunji rebutted. "He acts as if he’s from another time, sure, but the custom of being polite is generally a universal thing, is it not? Regardless of where a person is from."

"Exactly," Lilian said. "He’s clearly from somewhere else—a different era—like you just noted. And it could be that it’s just how he’s been brought up and all, but if we’re right in the theory that he’s from somewhere else… then it has to be more than that. He looks young, doesn’t he? He appears to us as if he’s around our age. But acts as if he’s tens or hundreds--thousands--of years older. Vampires don’t age. Anna and Taemin also said something about him not sleeping and I’m pretty sure the book did too. Maybe. But even if it didn’t, it did say that vampires are immortal. And immortals won’t really need to sleep, not by theory. It’d be more out of choice. Plus, they don’t age. Or they do, but it doesn’t, you know,  _show.”_

"But why vampire?" They chorused at the exact same time and Lilian blinked.

"That was creepy," she mumbled. "And why not vampire? Doesn’t it make most sense? Why do you both seem unconvinced?"

Jongup turned to Chunji, as if asking him with his eyes to explain for them. But Chunji felt somewhat uncomfortable, because how does one explain what he witnessed without being looked at as if he had three eyes?

He was certain Lilian would be willing to listen and wouldn’t judge him, no matter how crazy it sounded, but that still didn’t ease the uncomfortable feeling. Perhaps it was because he still hadn’t come to terms with what he witnessed himself. And also that he had no idea how to describe what it was he witnessed, nor what that would make Daehyun.

The only thing he was sure of was that the lighter blond man was definitely not human.

"Uh," he began, gnawing at his lip. "Please excuse me if my wording makes minimal sense, I’m still… coming to terms with whatever it was that happened myself. He, uh, made a call to his brother earlier. When you weren’t around."

Lilian nodded, not finding anything out of the ordinary with this. “And…?”

"Well," Chunji continued, nose crinkling. "It involved chants. It took place through water. He, uh, cut the skin of his arm and rather than having red blood… it was… clear. He bleeds clear blood. I mean I have no idea what to link that to, but…"

"Chants," Lilian said, accidentally interrupting. "And blood! Vampires… blood. Vampires’ entire existence revolves around blood. Doesn’t that pretty much confirm it?"

Chunji was wondering how true it would be for a vampire to have clear blood, because in his mind, that just didn’t add up. But then again, he knew nothing about them. Maybe folklore type tales from the mouth of his father with the intent of playfully frightening him when he was younger, but as he got older, he completely dismissed the concept of their existence. Lilian clearly had some knowledge about them up her sleeves, or apparently.

He decided to stay quiet, but nodded. Perhaps Daehyun really was a vampire. Perhaps they did bleed clear blood.

Jongup however, still held the perplexed expression from before. “What about,” he began quietly, turning to Chunji. “Earlier, when h-he… mentioned my—” He shook his head, sighing. “No, when he was talking about knowing the most powerful being in existence. Wouldn’t that be…”

"Satan?" Chunji guessed, suppressing his snort. Everything was beginning to sound ridiculous to him. It couldn’t have been possible. Maybe Daehyun was just playing a trick on them. Maybe he was human after all. His nose crinkled at the remembrance of the blood incident. How was that possible? And communication through water? Chunji let out a prolonged, exhausted sounding sigh. Everything was beyond ridiculous.

"No," Jongup said, seeming to shiver at the mention of Satan. "Not that one. How do I put this…"

"I’m listening," Chunji said, gently. "Take your time."

Jongup nodded, seeming to perk up a bit. “E-every time the Foreseen Forest is mentioned, or with how he reacted to it, we saw that, didn’t we?”

Chunji nodded.

"Well it’s a bad place, right? He kept mentioning negative energies, so I guess so, anyway. And then every timeThey or Them are brought up…”

 _"Them?"_  Chunji asked, eyebrows furrowing. “Who?”

Jongup shrugged his shoulders, looking very innocent. “I don’t know who or what it is They are, but Lilian kept mumbling about Them and then the Chen person brought Them up with Daehyun, and I’m not certain but I think they’re bad people, too. Like the forest.”

"The forest is a bad person, is it? My, doesn’t a person learn something new everyday."

Jongup’s cheeks tinted. “Shut up,” he mumbled, but it held no malicious intent. “You know what I mean.”

Chunji smiled softly at the younger. “You’re right. Anyway, carry on.”

"Daehyun said they’re enemies. He and Them. And well, wouldn’t it be… odd if he was a well, vampire? Wouldn’t a vampire prefer to team up with these people of evil? Would they react negatively to negative ‘energies’ or whatever they were?”

Chunji nodded along. “Maybe,” he said. “But where would that leave us in figuring out who he is? We’d be back at square one again. Perhaps it’s just that he’s a good vampire or something? I honestly don’t know what to think anymore, Jongup.”

Lilian, who’d appeared to entirely blank out of the short conversation Chunji and Jongup were having a few minutes ago, snapped back to hear the last sentence that was spoken and chuckled. The chuckle was playful, albeit a little dark.

Chunji sent her perplexed glance.

"Wouldn’t it be cool," she began. "If after all this time Daehyun was actually a bad guy—like this _super_ evil vampire—who pretended to be on the good side, but actually wasn’t? And now he’s gotten Chen cornered… and." She chuckled. "Chen goes bye-bye."

They both sent her exceedingly perplexed and then horrified glances.

Lilian’s nose crinkled, smile falling. “I’m only kidding,” she muttered. “Why are you guys so freaked out by dark humor? As if that would ever happen anywhere. It’s ridiculous. Who’d do that?”

"Maybe I would," Chunji said, rolling his eyes. He decided to lightly play along, though both his tone of voice and demeanor held no conviction.

Lilian poked him in the side and he yelped. “Likely,” she said sarcastically.

Chunji grinned cheerily at her. She was right, he’d be the last person alive to pull a stunt like that.

Jongup huddled closer as if what they’d been saying had really begun to worry him. With their linked arms, Lilian reached down at patted his hand, as if to reassure him that it was just a joke. That he had nothing to worry about. It seemed to do the trick and he relaxed somewhat, smiling at her.

"Anyway," she then said, voice lilting, breeze-like. "We should probably catch up to Daehyun." She scowled. "And Chen." Then her smiled returned. "Oh, and Lay! I like Lay."

"Who’s Lay?" Chunji asked, a confused expression on his face.

"He’s this really nice person I met earlier," she said, smiling. Her smile then dimmed with her upcoming words, "Though he does have an atrocious taste in friends."

  
As they edged closer, letting Lilian lead, they noted that it was eerily quiet. No sounds could be heard behind them, none ahead of them.

"How far do we go?" Chunji asked, breaking the silence they’d also fallen into.

"Just follow me," Lilian said, voice slightly hushed. She wasn’t sure why, it just felt weird to speak clearly after going through a prolonged period of silence.

With more steps, trailing down a grass clearing that was boarded by lines and lines of differing sized trees at either side, they finally reached their destination. A patch of trees were missing in the line, indicated an opening, which then led into a camp.

A camp currently inhabited by three people. All sitting. Two at one side, both dark haired. One on the opposite side, posture straight, focus clear. He was blond.

It was definitely Daehyun, Yixing and Jongdae.

But they just sat, unmoving. No one speaking. Just staring. Waiting for a movement of any kind. Jongdae’s gaze was elsewhere, and he was more still than the rest. More unresponsive.

Lilian wasn’t sure who it was that made the rustle in their direction, but it instantly made Yixing snap his attention towards them, eyes wide and alert, almost as if he was a predator ready to pounce on its prey.

At the sight of Lilian his shoulders relaxed. “Lilian?” He asked, tone somewhat soft. “You’re back?”

Lilian nodded, a little unsure of whether she should make her way inside or stay standing.

"What’s… going on?" She glanced around the camp, instantly taking in the tense atmosphere. Jongup and Chunji were trying to peak over her shoulder, but they weren’t getting very far.

"Uhh," Yixing began, looking entirely perplexed. "I actually have no idea. Jo—I mean—Chen walked in with this… whoever he is and before I could even open my mouth they… well, sat down and did whatever the hell it is they’re doing currently. I was going to question them about it, but each time my words end up dying in my mouth."

"I am waiting," Daehyun said, still staring. Watching.

It was the first time Yixing had heard his voice and he had to stop himself from jumping. “What for?”

"He is in a bad state." Daehyun seemed perplexed, his eyebrows were drawn together. "He said he would negotiate, he invited me in. But this… it cannot work. I need him to snap out of it. How can I help him when he is staring ahead as if he is entirely incompetent? I need him to snap out of it, I am trying to figure how to go about that."

Yixing felt his features fall into a sour expression. “Hey,” he said. He had no idea who this light blond man was, nor why he was currently sitting in their camp. It was probably too soon to judge, but he wouldn’t sit back and let just anyone insult Jongdae. Not after everything the younger had been through. Not after all the progress he’d made. “He’s been through a lot recently—and in general. He takes orders from no one. He’s the furthest thing from incompetent, I’ve dedicated almost half of my life into ensuring that. Watch your tongue. Count yourself lucky that I’m even allowing you to sit here right now. I’m second guessing it, believe me.”

Daehyun turned to Yixing, inspecting him. “You do not know what you are talking about, please refrain from speaking.” His tone was curt, straight to the point. It held no personal conviction.

Yixing let out an incredulous laugh. “To hell I don’t!”

"Would you humans throw that word around so carelessly if you knew the beings that inhabited such a place? If you had any idea what it is they do for a living? Walls have ears and doors have eyes, if you are so careless in your speech and your mannerisms to give your position away, you will never win. To participate in a war, one needs to be alert. One needs to focus."

Yixing sent an incredulous glance Daehyun’s way.

"This is the first time since arriving here that I have been met with a cry for help so strong, yet a being so reluctant so reach out. He is in a dark, dreary position. His aura is crying out for assistance, for help. I can bring that. He invited me in. He has been the first in this century to react to me, in the way in which I seek. He said we would cooperate. This is not cooperating. I feel I am currently need of assistance in regards to his situation myself. I am not sure how to make him cooperate and if I could, the problem would cease to exist."

"I have no idea what you’re talking about."

"Like I said." Daehyun nodded. It was curt, to the point. "This matter does not concern you."

"Anything involving—" Yixing paused, reminding himself to go by code name. "—Chen is a matter that concerns me."

"You act as if he is lined under your alignment." Daehyun remained expressionless. "You are misinformed. Humans are not the ones to lead alignments, you are the ones who are aligned. The ones assigned to us for guidance. He is not yours."

Yixing let out an incredulous sound at this, as if he couldn’t believe the words that were sprouting out of this, dare he say, intruder’s lips. “He’s not anyone’s. The only person he belongs to is himself.”

"No," Daehyun said, insistently. "That is not the case. All are to be guided. Aligned."

Yixing almost sneered in disbelief. He didn’t even feel like entertaining this unknown person any longer. He couldn’t explain it, but from the vibes he was getting and what he’d already witnessed verbally from them, it appeared they weren’t going to get along. As well as that, he didn’t let strangers in his camp. No one was harming Jongdae under his watch. Ever.

As he entertained this thought, he paused. “Wait a second,” he said, eyes narrowing. He edged closer to Daehyun. “Are you what he’s been referencing this entire time? Are you one of _Them?”_

"It appears some are unaware of the severity of the assumptions they make. How dangerous the waters they tread."

Yixing shrugged. “It’s a simple question, if I’m given no answer, I have no choice but to assume.”

"It would make sense if the only tool one has is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail." He paused. "No. I am not one of Them.”

"How sure can I be of that?" Yixing asked, eyes still suspicious. "From what I’ve heard, They could be anyone. Anywhere. That they’re extremely mysterious, ambiguous. They apparently only leave one token when they visit. Maybe you’ve got one on hand. I should probably check."

Daehyun kept his gaze steady, locked onto Yixing’s face. He didn’t reply. He didn’t blink. He looked entirely stoic.

But somehow Yixing felt he’d got a clear reading on what he was witnessing. He raised an inquiring eyebrow, chuckling. “You almost seem offended by the concept.”

"The last thing I want is to be grouped together with my enemies. To have my loyalty and duty questioned. I understand you may have a lack of ability to trust, but as of right now, that is not necessary. We do not need the progress stunted any further. Not when your friend is in a state so critical.  Perhaps that is the stepping stone. As his friend, you will know what to do. You need to snap him out of it, preferably as soon as possible. Before this gets any worse."

Yixing snapped his attention towards Jongdae. Sure, the younger was unresponsive and hadn’t said anything since arriving back in the camp, which was out of the ordinary for him, Yixing didn’t seem to comprehend the ‘critical’ state the blond man was referencing. “What are you talking about?”

"For me to be able to help him, he needs to respond. Putting it off any longer may result in even more dire circumstances. None of which we want."

"Seriously," Yixing continued, an angry note lacing into his words. "What are you talking about? Sure, maybe he needs some more rest or something, but there’s nothing critical about his state at the moment."

"Human eyes cannot see."

Yixing rolled his eyes instantly. “Whatever extended game you’re playing, it stopped being funny a long time ago. In fact, it was never funny to begin with.”

"Some would consider me to be the funniest of my brothers," Daehyun mused a little absentmindedly. It lasted only a second before he nodded. "But you are correct. This is not a game. This is not funny. He needs to respond. Human eyes truly cannot see beyond what is concrete. I can."

"Look, I get it, okay. Maybe you know we’re not in a good situation, whatever. It’s easy to pick up on with the fact that we’re homeless and all, I know. In all honesty, we’ve never been in a good situation. Even from the beginning. None of us. Even when we had homes. We’re used to it. We’ve been used to it for years upon years now. And do you know what? We’ll cope with it. Just like we always do. We’ll get by. Just as we always do. We don’t need assistance. We don’t your help. We don’t know you, I’m sure as hell we don’t want to. So stand up, take several steps back, and leave. Go away. You’re not needed here."

Daehyun exhaled sharply. “You cannot see,” he emphasized. “What I can see. Please do something to snap your friend out of this trance. Please make him respond. It is the only way I can help.”

"I have no fucking idea what you’re talking about—"

"Perhaps an explanation will make it clearer." Something about Daehyun’s tone made Lilian—who’d been watching on this entire time, Chunji and Jongup behind her—blink in surprise. He sounded exasperated. Impatient, almost. "I know what it is that is happening to him. Why he is entirely unresponsive. In a comatose state. Its severity may not be obvious to you as of yet, but his entire lack of response you must have picked up on, correct?"

Yixing eyes were narrowed, but he nodded. Albeit a little stubbornly.

"The only concise conclusion I have come to is that he has been put in a position that no other human should ever have to be. I will admit that I am partly responsible for it, though." Daehyun emphasized, "Not intentionally."

Yixing said nothing, his eyes still narrowed. He waited for Daehyun to continue.

"Thus far, it would also explain why his aura was so responsive to me. Why he, himself, could detect and pick up the difference—aura wise—that others have not. The reason why he was calmed by it and responsive to it is entirely different, but nonetheless."

Yixing exhaled a sharp breath. “I have no idea what any of that means, but okay. We’re on entirely different wavelengths here and this extended game you’re playing must mean a lot to you or whatever, so I guess you want me to play along or whatever.”

Daehyun sent Yixing a blank stare, sighing. “In simpler terms, to get in the state he currently is right now, something must have happened to trigger it. Something that made him vulnerable and open to the energies surrounding him. In a vulnerable state of mind, humans—even those belonging to my kind and others’—we are all a lot more susceptible to engaging with frequencies and energies and in such, seeing things we should not be seeing.”

"I still have no—"

"He was in a vulnerable frame of mind. For him to be responsive with me at first and then entirely frozen and immobile, unblinking, it is clear he has overloaded. He is more susceptible to energies. To frequencies. For him to be acting the way he is, in his vulnerable frame of mind, it is evident he has engaged with both positive—or good—auras, and negative—or bad—auras and energies within the past few hours. At a very short interval. I am the reason for the positive energies. The Foreseen Forest is evidently the reason for the negative."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Yixing said, instantly. "Wait a goddamn minute. There’s no way—" He puffed out an exasperated breath. "In these past few hours, we were both here. No one moved. We rested. We caught up on some much needed sleep. Neither one of us left. I’m sure of it, Chen wouldn’t—"

Daehyun’s expression was stony. “I would gain nothing out of lying to you. It is the truth. He has entered the Foreseen Forest within the past few hours and his aura states as such. Regardless of whether you were aware of it or not, it happened. If we leave him any longer, he will see things he will never be able to wash away from his memory. Something he will never be able to shake off. He will slip into a scarily unconscious state where he will witness first hand the terrors of the living and of the dying. He will see things that go miles beyond the living realm. Scary for even my kind. Dangerous.”

Daehyun took a breath.

"He will gain knowledge of an existence of beings too harrowing to ever describe through language. Decapitated, emaciated. Ghastly. Even formless. Those in the realm of the dead, they are bitter. Angry. Misguided. Ravenous, clawing beasts. Any form of living life they encounter, they will fall over themselves in attempt to grasp it under their fingertips. To gnaw and claw, to steal every ounce of essence in the living being. Literally, to suck the life form out of the being. To take it for themselves."

Yixing was beginning to pale. If this man was a storyteller, he definitely had a talent. He was making this insanity of a description sound… plausible. Yixing shivered. He also suppressed the urge to scowl, or sigh, or something in between. Why did all the major events take place when he was fast asleep? Two times, now. Possibly even more, if he accounted the past.

"It is possible to be an outside observer and in this case, the safest option. You see them, but they do not pick up on you. It is not entirely guarded as with one wrong move, you are on their radar. The other, much worse possibility, is that they take note of you the minute you enter the realm. They scent you. Fear, confusion, anger. The more you show, the more ravenous they become. If they find a soul, an inhabitable body, they latch. You may think that once—and if—you enter your own realm that they quit. But that is not the case. They latch and they haunt. Stalk. Once they are set on you, on stealing you, there is no way out. They will invade your dreams, you will see them appear before your eyes in waking moments. They will invade every corner of your life and distort everything you see, hear, and witness. They will not quit until they have you. Until they steal you. My kind can prevent this, but I need cooperation."

Yixing appeared frozen, unsure of what to do. His face pale, body stiff. He was certain even the greatest storyteller wouldn’t be able to go into such depth and description, nor be able to re-account such information. Nor drag any of this out of thin air. Either his abilities in storytelling had transcended above anything he knew possible, or dare he say, the blond was actually stating the truth. “Um…” He trailed off, gulping.

"If he slips into this zone there is nothing I can do to help him." Yixing could see how frantic the man was getting, though compared to others he’d witnessed in such an over expressive state, it appeared very subdued. "I would have to physically recruit my brother, the first born. Any of you witnessing his descending would be enough to permanently blind you." He turned to face Yixing specifically. "Do you want to be blinded as well as ignorant? Not only that, he is the most reclusive of all of us.  _Of all of us._ He does not leave his room. If one wants to interact with him, they must enter his room themselves to do so. He specializes in this kind of thing. This is his alignment. If that is not enough to emphasize just how terrifying this entire thing is, then I do not know what else to say. It is his alignment, he has mastered it, yet void walking is even a pain for him. It is debilitating, terrifying, and something that sticks with a person for the rest of their lives. You do not want that for your friend, believe me.”

Yixing exhaled a few frantic breaths. “How.” He paused, glancing around nervously. “How do I help him?”

Daehyun glanced at Yixing. “Anything,” he said earnestly. “The first thing that comes to mind that will snap him back into reality, even if by just saying the word.”

Yixing closed his eyes as if he was in pain. He gulped. “He’s not here,” voice sounding constricted.

"What?"

"The first thing—person—whatever that comes to mind. His brother. He’s not here." Yixing began pacing, steps seeming to speed up the more he did it. He placed his hand against his forehead, rubbing his temple. He then took several shaky breaths, and all of this was taking place as he paced up and down. "I don’t know what to do," he said, an indication of sheer panic laced behind his word. "I don’t know what to say. Kai’s not here and he’s the only one who’d—and God damn it—"

Daehyun flinched evidently.

Yixing sent him a bewildered glance as he noted this, but then scowled and began pacing in an even quicker manner than before. “He’s going to slip into some void or whatever and interact with dead things or some ridiculous bullshit if I don’t get this right, right? And then there’s no way to bring him back right? So he’s as good as dead, no? I’m going to accidentally kill my best friend. Thanks a fucking lot.” Yixing squeezed his eyes closed, taking several deep breaths. “The amount of pressure that’s just been dropped on me—how the hell am I going to pull this off?”

"A great way to start is to not throw words such as the aforementioned around so carelessly."

Yixing scowled. “Jon—Chen—could be in this messed up place right now and you care about my use of language? You know what you sound like right now? One of those goddamn Royals. ‘ _Your best friend could be dying right now, but let’s not forget our table manners, ha-ha!’”_

Lilian paled, wisely choosing not to engage in this side of the conversation. Thankfully, her attire didn’t give her away, but she’d always jump at the mention of ‘Royals’ as of late.

Something about his tone indicated that he wasn’t on friendly terms with Royals, that just the mention of them had the power to rile him up.

Her kingdom wasn’t like Jungshin’s kingdom, but how could she expect a person who clearly didn’t live in the village to know that? She was surprised that the Royal reputation had reached this far, however. But above all, she couldn’t reveal her identity to begin with.

And especially now, if they had something against Royals. She didn’t want Yixing to hate her after they’d been getting along so well. Yixing seemed like the nicer of the two—or as she knew him, ‘Lay’—and she wasn’t up for having both of them instantly despise her entire existence. ‘Chen’ was enough.

Yixing’s eyes narrowed as he took in Daehyun’s Royal blue silk robe attire. “You’re even dressed like one.”

"Which was quite surprising for me, in all actuality." Daehyun nodded. "It almost feels wrong to be wearing it. As if does not belong to me. Which holds true, as it is the color primarily used by one of my brothers. Back home, gold is what I use." Daehyun then edged closer. "Now is the time to act, please proceed."

Yixing grimaced, but sent a light, affirmative nod. He edged closer to Jongdae, who was still frozen in place, eyes looking emptier than he’d ever witnessed. He was stock still, and had it not been a serious situation, Yixing would’ve snorted at the resemblance he had to a marble statue. This was the same Jongdae who could barely sit still on good days, entirely frozen to the spot. Arguably, he knew Jongdae better than anyone else, and he knew that the younger wouldn’t be able to keep up such a convincing frozen act in any other circumstance. That was when he fully allowed himself to consider what the light blond man was saying.

"Yah," he said, then grimaced. What a great start he’d gotten off to. Jongdae said ‘yah’ a lot, he was well aware of that, but it meant nothing to younger. It was just a word he used for effect. For emphasis. There’d be no way he’d snap out of frozen state with something as simple as that.

He turned to face Daehyun, a slightly terrified expression on his features. “Should I pretend to be Kai?”

Daehyun shrugged. It was a minuscule movement, barely detectable. “Do whatever you must. I have never witnessed this state in a human. Only with my brother. It was a reoccurring happening at the beginning, but as time has progressed, he has a stronger hold over his ability. He is miles more powerful than your friend, and has much more exposure to the voids. And more control over them. Thus, it takes much longer for him to get into such a state, and it is a lot easier to thwart.” Daehyun then paused, as if only just coming to realization. 

"Chen," Yixing supplied, instantly picking up on his intentions.

Daehyun’s eyebrows furrowed somewhat. “Hm,” he said, tilting his head to the side slightly. “Is that a code name?”

Yixing jumped back in surprise, eyes widening comically. “Wha—? How?”

"Just a vibe," Daehyun said calmly. "In which, if it is true, that will only further evidence what I earlier concluded."

Yixing let out the most convincing scoff he could muster in that moment. “It’s not true.” He was trying to sound as convincing as possible, and he wasn’t sure how well this was coming across, he only hoped it was believable. “But in the case that it, you know, was… you don’t get a ‘vibe’ about me or having a code name or anything, do you?”

Daehyun shook his head. “I do not get a vibe from you, it is evident that you are not asking for my guidance, nor are you one of mine.” An expression Yixing didn’t know how to describe then fell on the blond’s face. If it hadn’t have been for the tiny furrowing of his eyebrows that followed, Yixing never would’ve guessed that he was perplexed. “With how we appear to be ‘clashing’, I would guess an alignment with entirely opposite ideals to mine. Anyway, let us continue.”

Yixing moved closer, but made no attempt to touch the younger. He, instead, waved his hands in front of Jongdae’s face. He wasn’t expecting anything, and was thankful of this, as had he been, he would’ve been met with sheer disappointment.

Jongdae didn’t move. Didn’t blink.

"I’m not sure if I should pretend to be Kai," Yixing murmured, seeming hesitant. "I mean it’ll already be hard to pull off because we look and sound nothing alike, and then if it does work, and does snap him out of it and he can recall what I said, he’ll be extremely frantic and searching everywhere for his brother, only to be met with the bitter reality that he’s still missing. Even if it makes sense why I did it, he’ll want to gut me and probably won’t speak to me for weeks to months. I can’t risk that, not with the state he’s been in recently. He needs me around, he needs to lean on me. So, I’ll have to find another method. Is that okay?"

"That is fine," Daehyun affirmed. "You are a good friend."

Yixing peered at him curiously, confusedly. Almost calculatingly. “Thank… you,” he said slowly, as if looking for ulterior motives or a hidden insult. When finding none, Yixing felt a small smile form on his lips, though he tried to hide it.

"Uh, Chen?" Yixing sounded so unsure even to his own ears and he hated it. Up until now, he’d always known how to handle situations in which Jongdae was troubled with, in which any of their little group had been. He’d taught them the majority of what they knew. But, obviously, this was a different caliber of problem. Outside of the concrete ground. Jongdae was in the midst of delving into something Yixing previously had no idea even existed, and still found himself doubting the existence of. He probably still would even if he saw it with his own eyes. "Chen, if you can hear me right now, then I guess that means we’re making progress. I know in the state you’re currently experiencing, you can’t communicate with us presently. I want you to know that we’re well aware of this and that, uh—" He turned to face Daehyun, prompting him for his name.

It took Daehyun a few seconds to catch on, but he nodded once he did. “Daehyun.”

"—Daehyun can help. For some reason he has all of this knowledge about this weird sort of thing and right now I honestly don’t even know what’s happening or where it is you are, or are going, I just know that you need to come back. That we have to help you come back. I know I’m babbling and I, just—"

He took a deep breath, closing his eyes. “You need to snap out of it,” he said more clearly now. “If you don’t, there’s no way we’ll ever reach Kai. There’s no way we’ll ever find him. There’s no way we’ll ever find out whether or not it was Them who took him. You need to be around, Chen. You need to find your little brother.   
  Regardless of whatever state or void you’ve slipped into, you know that. And regardless of how hard, the Chen I know would do anything to snap himself out of this place if it entailed finding his little brother. I’m not saying this to make it about me, but I need you, too. I know I don’t express it very often verbally, but I really do need you around. I can’t even begin to imagine a future that doesn’t include you, nor who I’d be without you. You and Kai, I can see it in your eyes. Every single time you’re thinking of thanking me, or paying your gratitude to me. But, neither of you ever pick up on when I want to do the same. When I want to thank both of you for coming into my life. All three of you.  The three of you found some way in becoming the most important people in my life, and that’s coming for a person who’d made a vow that he’d never trust anyone but himself with anything. I trust you. I trust all three of you. And that makes you all pretty damn special, alright?”

He took a deep breath.  ”So you have to snap out of it. We have to find them, Chen. And we also have to find Them. So, if you’re able, come back to us soon. We need you here. If this doesn’t work, then I don’t know what else I’m supposed to do. I just know I can’t lose you. Not you, too. Not right now.”

Lilian felt her own eyebrows furrowing. Perhaps their friendship ran a lot deeper than she originally anticipated. Perhaps they’d been through a lot more than she originally believed. Jongdae—or as she knew him, Chen—seemed like an insufferable person, or at least that’s the impression she’d gotten after interacting with him.

But the way Yixing talked about him… she was sure Yixing wouldn’t say that about a person who was entirely insufferable. Entirely awful.

Still, she scrunched her nose up, because Jongdae had never given any other impression than insufferable thus far. And Yixing seemed like a nice person, and insufferable clashed with nice, so why did they appear to get along so well? Was it that Yixing was actually insufferable after the first meeting also?

Or could it be that Jongdae… she scoffed. No way was that possible.

Not after what he’d done, or said. He was clearly insufferable. Maybe Yixing just had the misfortune of having an entirely awful best friend, and an entirely awful taste in best friends.

Something Lilian was certain she did not. Her choice in friends she’d never doubt. She then turned her attention to said friends and felt herself sigh profusely. And just after she’d had such nice thoughts regarding them. “Yah,” she said, scowling. “Chunji, are you serious?”

There was no reply.

"Chunji…" She edged closer, crouching down so she was level with her best friend, who’d slumped against a tree. Eyes closed. She waved her hand in front of his face, before pinching his cheek and chuckling.

He grumbled, waving her hand away, eyes still closed as he did. “Wake me up when we’re allowed in,” he mumbled, before rolling over to the other side.

She didn’t understand how he could casually just drop down to the ground and sleep anywhere, especially after living in luxurious conditions for so long. She had the hardest time, and it was the thing she was worried most about. How was she supposed to sleep outside? Especially with the thought of insects and their slimy, slithering bodies slinking around in the dead of the night.

She turned to Jongup, who just like Chunji was sitting with his back against a tree. He wasn’t slumped, however. He had his legs brunched up to his chest, elbows leaning against his knees. His brown hair falling into his eyes, which were closed. Was he asleep too?

"Jongup?"

There was no reply. She'd received her answer.

With this, she decided she’d at least try and make herself of use. She didn’t feel like sleeping, and as much as she disliked Jongdae, she didn’t wish death upon him. He was allowed to be alive, just so long as he was alive away from her.

"Do you want me to help?" She then asked, making her way inside the camp. And she didn’t ask for invitation, because unlike the clearly vampiric Daehyun, she didn’t need it. Yixing, unlike Jongdae, wouldn’t kill her for entering the premise. She was sure of that much.

Daehyun and Yixing turned their attention towards the small, dark haired girl. Both intrigued, albeit confused. It was much more apparent on Yixing’s features than Daehyun’s, but there was something about Daehyun that Lilian found easy to read. His expressions were supposedly very confusing to others, but Lilian had never had this problem.

She grinned sheepishly at them. “Well he’s not responding still, and he doesn’t like me. So it should be easy enough.”

"How?" Yixing asked.

"Maybe I underestimated myself just then, it’s more than just dislike, no? So shouldn’t the mere sound of my voice—if it connects through—snap him out of it in this hate filled rage? Maybe if I pretend I’m one of Them or whatever… maybe that would work?"

"But," Yixing spluttered. "You don’t like him either, right? Why would you volunteer to help him?"

Lilian shrugged easily. “I’m bored, my friends are sleeping. This is taking too long. Plus as much as I dislike him, it’s not as though I want him dead.” She then grinned. “And if I save him from near death, won’t that mean he’ll owe me? And in such, if he owes me, it means he can’t kill me straight off the bat. So, yeah. More good outcomes than bad, no?”

Yixing seemed convinced, and also impressed. He nodded. “What are you going to do?”

"Well," she began, dragging the syllables out. "Since it seems that merely just speaking doesn’t do the trick, and doesn’t get through to him with how unresponsive he’s being… why don’t we get personally involved?    
  I walked through the Foreseen Forest myself earlier, and I’ve been in contact with Daehyun. So I also have both energies merging, no? And even if I haven’t put myself in a state that induced some form of trauma or resulted in me being at a very low point, it still has a possibility of working, right?   
  Like, say, if I were to touch his hand or wrist or something, and he’s already in this void type setting, wouldn’t that have a higher success rate than just speaking to him?   
  If we’re merely just speaking to him and he can hear us, but can’t reach out to us, what good is that going to do? If what Daehyun’s said is true, in that these creatures latch onto living beings and can sense them, two is going to be like a godsend to them, assuming.   
  And if it’s—like I’m presuming—all of them fighting to overpower the others and reach Chen right now, wouldn’t having two living beings around split them up, and allow him to breathe a little? To clear his mind a bit?   
  It’d be really overpowering otherwise, right? To be in some horrifying unknown place with no prior knowledge or idea of what’s going on.   Also since I didn’t put myself in a position to get at my lowest point, I’d be less susceptible than he is to things like mind control and being… I don’t know… pulled over to these creatures, no?” 

By the time she’d finished, an utterly lost and bewildered expression was on Daehyun's features. She wasn’t sure if Yixing picked up on it, but to her, it seemed very clear.

Lilian sent him a mildly amused glance. “Why do you look as if you’ve just seen a ghost?”

Daehyun appeared speechless. “How… how do you know this?”

Lilian shrugged. “I’m not entirely sure. It just seemed to piece together nicely in my mind. Am I right, would this be an option?”

"You are confirming my findings, Lilian, I swear of you. And yes, it is the next step if communication does not get through. In my kingdom, this has only happened a few times. But I have enough first hand experience with it to know what to do. To allow you to pull through."

"Then what are we waiting for? Let’s go for it!"

"You cannot," Daehyun said, as if the mere thought troubled him. "I cannot allow you to put yourself in that position."

"Why not?"

"For exactly the same reasons you noted previously. You have interacted with me, you have entered the Foreseen Forest in the same day. Energies are combining, it means you are susceptible, also. With how you have been presenting yourself around me, upon closer inspection, there is one other thing. I feel as if you are becoming aware."

"Well I have no idea what becoming aware entails or anything but you’ve been right about everything else thus far, so why not trust you. Also I already know I’m susceptible and that’s why I’m perfect for the job, no? Why can’t I go?"

"Your agreeableness," he mused. "How you appear to pick up on elements others have not, knowledge of realms you do not inhabit, directly through me. Lilian, do you feel calm around me? A sense of ease? Of course there are other elements to it, but it starts small, gives itself a foundation. Gradually builds up."

"Are you trying to divert the topic, Daehyun?" She just wanted a confirmed answer that she could go through with this, why was he throwing her off topic?

He nodded. “Interesting. Even such a minor detail. Lilian, you are becoming increasingly aware. Have you been questioning my identity? Though I expect it of all humans after some time of interacting with me, I can sense that you have recently just spoken about it, which would only further prove my point. What conclusion did you arrive at?”

Lilian chewed on her lip, puffing out her cheeks. She opened her mouth, only to close it again a second later. She was so confident about it before, why did the thought of being wrong to his face feel so scary all of a sudden?

Daehyun let out a gentle laugh, and Lilian felt herself edging closer out of instinct. “Even if you are wrong, I will not judge you.”

She glanced at her palms for several seconds before looking back up and meeting his gaze. “A… vampire,” she mumbled. 

Daehyun blinked in surprise. “Interesting.”

Lilian felt herself frown at this, and his lack of elaboration. Of reaction. “Well, am I right?”

"I am sure you shall figure out soon enough." He then nodded to himself. "Though, thinking it through, I do not seem to understand why it is all happening at once. Perhaps those under me need a peer in vicinity to become aware of it? Otherwise it appears you are all so… blank to it. Though there is…" He stopped. "However, he is _that_ one so perhaps the scouting process is slightly different. He will always be a step or few ahead in awareness, at least, according to T’s speculation."

"I feel like I understand the point you’re getting at somehow, but at the exact same time I have no idea? It’s… strange. Anyway," she then said, perking up. "Tell me why I can’t go."

"You are a human. You have never stepped out of your realm thus far, it is an entirely different experience than what you are used to. It will be terrifying. What if it stays with you? Chen could not have stopped it with the state he was in, but you will be _willingly_ putting yourself in an extremely dangerous position. In which you are vulnerable. How could I allow you to put yourself in that position?"

Her frown returned. In all honesty, she thought it sounded really interesting. She’d love to go. Just to see what it was like, that it really existed. “How else will we retrieve Chen?”

"I am able to go myself."

Lilian still didn’t seem convinced. “But, well, okay. Honestly though, if you’re so powerful as to be able to void walk and pull people out of different realms or… dimensions?—Who’s to say you can’t do other stuff, you know, like wipe memories or—”

Daehyun looked sheepish. “You are very quick thinking, Lilian. It is quite unnerving. Especially right now.”

"I _can_ go, can’t I?" Her smile returned. "You’re just scared. Scared because I’m your responsibility right now and if something goes wrong—which it won’t, because you’re you and you seem to have all of this entirely under control—you’ll never be able to forgive yourself, right?"

Daehyun seemed to sigh in defeat, and she swore she heard him mutter something along the lines of _‘what have I gotten myself into?’,_  which made her grin in pride for some reason. She felt like she’d just outsmarted one of the smartest people—or beings—she’d ever encountered, or at least found one of his loopholes, and in her opinion that was something to be proud of.

"Daehyun," she said, slightly pouting. "Can I go, please? I promise I won’t lose hold of myself or get enticed by creepy dead things and even as much as I don’t like him, I’ll bring Chen back, okay? I won’t feed him to the creepy dead things and if you want to take extra perhaps-vampire-perhaps-not precautions I’m all up for that too, okay?"

"Perhaps this is why I should not have complained of them being unaware. No one ever stated that they would be so quick thinking and convincing, and that it would feel practically impossible to say no to them." He sighed. "I will let you, but only if we take extra precautions. Extra precautions may include memory wiping for the both of you, okay? Though obviously, I will not take anything other than these void-experience events. It is not my place to take anything else from you, please do not request that or think about it because I cannot overstep my position in such a way. It goes against every code and every moral. The answer to wiping memories of anything past the void-experience is an instant no. No exceptions."

 

Lilian happily hopped over to where Jongdae was sitting, eyes wide in curiosity. In intrigue. These types of things she’d think about quite often, but never verbalized to anyone in vicinity. Those around her in the Palace… she’d bet that they would’ve locked her up in an instant.

Things like, _Princesses shouldn’t talk about those types of things,_  or  _Princesses shouldn’t worry their pretty little heads about business outside of the village,_   _or even the Palace,_  would be said. She’d been interested as ever in the Rogues since finding out about them, but the minute she showed her face when said topic was being discussed, everyone hushed to a silence, as if the words would damage her.

Make her coil away in disgust.

It just made her even more interested, in all honesty. Whoever it was the Rogues really were still interested her, but this was even more interesting.

Daehyun was interesting. He was living proof that beings that weren’t human, that were immortal, actually existed. He was so powerful as to be able to take her away from life as she knew it, to explore the depths that went even further than the solid ground.

She found herself thinking for a moment. What if her life was different? What if there was a place in which she’d never been born as a Princess and had no duties or responsibilities tied to her and her heritage and was free to roam and explore as she pleased? What if she met Daehyun in this hypothetical state, and could expand on her horizons, could explore corners of the world—and the supposed outer-worlds—and see things the average human would never witness in all of their lifetime?

It sounded like a wonderful existence. A free existence. But she did realize that was probably impossible, and that Daehyun probably wouldn’t be able to rearrange her life events for her. To take her away from all that she knew, or not permanently.

Sighing, she then snapped herself out of her reverie and looked at Daehyun, as if asking for direction. “What do I do?”

Daehyun was quiet for some time, clearly contemplating something to a great degree. “You do not,” he finally said, a finality to his voice she still wasn’t used to, but for some reason couldn’t argue with.

At least for a few moments. “But…” she trailed off, confusion seeping through. “What?”

"Though you made a solid point earlier, and did catch on exceedingly fast… there is no way I can allow you to take on a task as large scale as this. It is dangerous to you, as a human. If you make one wrong move, I could lose the both of you forever. I cannot risk that. None of us can risk that.   
  I am the only one who is not human, my existence is based primarily in discovering and being knowledgeable about these types of endeavors.   
  Though I admit it would be a learning curve, and trust would be finalized for us, which would then fasten up the progress, it would be naive and entirely disgruntling for me to place this heavy a task on your small shoulders.   
  You have no prior experience in this type of endeavor, and the risk factor is too strong. I understand your intrigue, but I must stop this before it starts.”

Lilian puffed out a breath by the time he’d finished, begrudgingly nodding. She tried hard not to show the extent of her disappointment, but it was difficult.

Daehyun sent her a soft, almost sad looking glance. “I apologize, Lilian.”

"No, no," she mumbled, lips pulling down into a frown she didn’t even pick up on. "It’s fine. You clearly know much more about this type of thing than myself, how can I argue with what you just said? Curiosity isn’t worth risking my life over, right?" She then cleared her throat, mumbling the last part quite quickly, "even if it totally is."

Daehyun chuckled. It was light, very gentle to Lilian’s ears. It gave her a sense of calm, of ease. She didn’t understand why, but she’d been getting a sense of ease off of him and his actions for some hours now. His laughter especially. A sense of protection also, as if everything was right when he was around. That nothing could get to her. She found it strange, but also nice. Which was even more peculiar. And inexplicable.

She puffed out a breath, deciding to make her way over to Yixing—who she still knew as Lay—and sat beside him on the tree stump, clearly used for sitting. “Hi,” she mumbled.

Yixing had his eyes glued to Daehyun, watching his every move as if he was a hawk. “This is still so surreal to me,” he said, nodding at her, and then at Jongdae and Daehyun. “I just hope he knows that if he harms Chen in any way, I’ll hang him upside down and skin him alive. I’m not joking.”

Lilian gulped, but something about his words made her stomach twinge. Not out of unease, in fact, she felt defensive. “I’m sure he’ll get the job done just fine,” she said, sounding a little stubborn to her own ears. She didn’t want to make an enemy out of Yixing, but she wouldn’t accept him trash talking Daehyun, either. He was more than capable. She just knew it.

"Surprisingly enough," Daehyun piped up, sounding slightly amused. "That would not be enough to kill me."

Yixing scoffed loudly. “You clearly don’t know how thorough my methods are.”

"Even so, it still would not. I am certain." He nodded to himself. "Human tactics and methods are not enough to stop me breathing, no matter how effective they are for others of your kind.   
  In the off chance case that one were to figure out how to kill me, unless a person had a death wish, I would not recommend it. The first J is extremely attached to me, and many forget that he is the most powerful being in existence.   
  My brothers would avenge me. Though it may take them years, if it were to happen, they would get their justice. They  _would_  avenge me.”

Yixing rolled his eyes, but chose not to respond.

Lilian chuckled, turning to face him. “Are you scared?” She asked, playful smile in place. “They sound pretty scary.”

Yixing sent her an arrogant sounding scoff. “If he hurts Chen, I’d take them all on at once.”

"I will not hurt Chen. I am here to help Chen. To help all of you. I do not lie, I do not deceive. I do not sin. I will go to great lengths to stop harm from falling before any of you. Please do not doubt that."

Lilian felt something akin to pride bubble within her, and she hoped Daehyun’s words would get through to Yixing loud and clear. She turned to face him, only to see him still looking contemplative. She sighed.

Maybe there was more to him than she previously believed. Maybe his niceness was just an act. Maybe it was a method, a luring tactic.

What if he really did plan to kill her with Jongdae earlier that day? She then crinkled her nose, realizing the flaw in that. He let her go, didn’t he? He stopped Jongdae before he even had chance to slice into her skin. What was she even thinking?

Perhaps he just had a hard time trusting. She knew Jongup did too, and Jongup was nice enough as a person.

She turned to face Daehyun and Jongdae again, watching in interest. Yixing was doing the same, just contemplatively focusing.

Daehyun edged closer to Jongdae, ending up at a point where there was a tiny proximity between them. He reached out and took a hold of Jongdae’s hand, holding it up so their palms were in line with each other.

He seemed to be chanting a string of words under his breath. The chant was was incessant, almost sounding like a buzz. Neither could understand what was being said, but definitely witnessed the upcoming events.

Both Yixing and Lilian watched on in awe as the arm of Jongdae that was held up, from the elbow up, began to illuminate. It wasn’t a solid color, but a glittering sheen of silver. Almost transparent. It was… breathtaking.

A gold swirl, much thinner than the silver, began to wrap itself around Jongdae’s arm, the process in which it did, looked like a caress.

"Wow," Lilian said, awed. "That’s… that’s seriously… wow."

"What language is he speaking?" Yixing asked, eyebrows furrowed. "I’ve never heard it before."

Daehyun then lay Jongdae’s arm out before him, inspecting it. His eyebrows furrowed, a displeased expression making its way onto his features. “He is in a truly harrowing state, whatever it is that he witnessed beforehand, before the energies combined… it must have been debilitating. I pity. He has hidden it well, but it is all too evident when stripped down to the foundation.”

Lilian felt herself grimace. “Stripped down to the… foundation?” She asked, wearily.

"His veins. Not only are they coated in negative energies, they are also coated in fear. Abhorrence. Loss. Pain. Anger. And even more. So to speak of the negative energies as if they were sentient, they would be having a feast with the state he is in. He is beyond vulnerable currently."

When Lilian glanced back at Yixing, she noted that he looked pained. Almost hurt.

"I can’t believe he’d hide something like this from me. And how I could be so blind as to not pick up on it? I knew the minute 'Chen' reappeared that there was something off, especially with his threats. Usually they’re a lot less… serious. They’ll have somewhat of a playful tint to them.   
  But… the scene I witnessed with you and him, Lilian, it was like nothing I’d ever seen before. He seemed… animalistic in a way, even.   As if he wouldn’t have cared if the knife was in his possession or not. That he was willing to slice you to pieces with his bare hands?  It’s quite terrifying to think about, even. I never raised him to be that way. I never realized he _could_ be that way. Clearly, these negative energies are… they must hype you up somewhat. Give you a power boost of some sort.”

He then took a deep breath. “I still can’t believe that he’d leave the camp without me, though. Even more so that I never woke up… aish. That kid is such a hypocrite, I swear. He got so peeved at Kai for disappearing without a word, but he went and did the exact same thing to me? Clearly they’re brothers.”

Lilian actually found his words more confusing than anything Daehyun had ever said. Why was he talking about Chen as if he were two different people? It made no sense to her, and she had no idea where to go with it, so she stayed quiet.

Daehyun then turned to them, holding secure eye contact. “With the next procedure, I will be unable to be respond. Please do not do anything rash, nor panic, it is a natural occurrence. I will be in the same place Chen is, I will be able to contact him.”

They nodded.

With that, Daehyun reached forward and pressed two fingers against Jongdae’s forehead, closing his eyes. He didn’t say anything this time, but a translucent glow wrapped around his being. It didn’t have color, but it was somehow still visible to them. Or at least to Lilian. She saw the tiniest sprinkle of gold, too. But not enough to consider the glow to have a color. Just a sprinkle.

Daehyun then became unresponsive, just like he said he would.

 

He knew he would never get used to this area, no matter how many times he were to visit.

The hues were consistently subdued, dulled. Multiple shades of blue and purple hues twisting, swirling. Magnetic waves and fields, if one strayed even an inch from their path, they’d soon know about it.

Even so, it always felt so empty to Daehyun. As if there was nothing left, and he’d entered the realm that was moments away from the end.  Of everything. Of time itself. A point of existence where existence ceased to exist. A paradoxical state. No solidity, no vessels. Just empty, directionless entities floating through an endless abyss.

Waiting to begin again, if they were to begin again. 

Souls with no purpose, no reason. And if they did have purpose, if they did have reason, it manifested in the worst kinds of ways.

Anger, bitterness. Leeching. Anything that was once good, became corrupt. Stuck in an entirely void, entirely neutral setting that had no end and no beginning.

No security. Nothing solid, nothing to grab onto. Not until living life made its way through.

Daehyun had come to the conclusion that blue was the representative color for neutrality. Perhaps that was why it felt so wrong to currently be dressed in it. Not only was it his brother—T’s—color, it seemed to represent neutrality. Voids. Loss of contact, of life. Emptiness.

Of the four T was most acquainted with death, Daehyun with life.   
  
It was evident to him why the second J and T worked so well as a team, most times it seemed as if their alignments worked hand-in-hand.

Why Daehyun himself and the third J worked so well, too. For the exact same reason.

Getting himself back on track, he took a step forward. He was entirely careful with his footing, knowing that with one wrong move, everything would go astray. The pathways were unpredictable, and unless one cracked their own personalized code, they would fall straight through. Plunge to the depths and be met face to face with the creatures nightmares couldn’t even begin to depict.

Having been here before, he was familiar of his code and pathway, but never would say he was certain of it, one hundred percent, at any time.

It was a place that had many hidden meanings and loopholes and false starts, and utter confusion and destruction waiting behind every corner.

 ”I still do not understand how a non sentient place can play mind games. Even more so how T can thwart them straight in their tracks every time he visits. It is as if T can see straight through it, that he can see the ending to every loophole and false start.   
  It is interesting that the second J does not even need to think about such things, knowing no matter where he walks, he will stay on the same path. He will never fall through a loophole, nor a be tricked by a false start.   
  Even interacting with those that inhabit this realm, he is safe in the knowledge that he is immune to them… that they will never be able to latch onto him, nor drain life from him.   
  Perhaps even beings such as ourselves take happenings like that for granted. Yes, we are immune to what we specialize in, and mastering the aforementioned comes with many perks, but perhaps we should also think about a certain possibility.   
  It is nice to ignore it, to pretend it is not possible, but should a person dedicate the majority of their time into finding our weaknesses and finding our own loopholes, perhaps they could gain one up on us.   
  The first J never fails to emphasize our importance, the fact that there must always be four. That we are the four. By the off-chance that one of us were to be beaten, destroyed… I do not even want to imagine the devastating results that would follow.”

He took a deep breath, nodding. “Now to find Chen. If only he had have been able to accept the bond before falling into this state, I would be able to find him in an instant. Since he is not on my radar, I must do it manually, which may prove to be difficult. Had Lilian been in this position, I could have lost her at any given moment.”

Daehyun took another tentative step forward, hoping the barely visible block beneath his feet wouldn’t fall through. Thankfully it didn’t. He skipped a step, remembering the last time he visited. It was a test to see if it had changed. Thankfully, it appeared his code was still the same. It followed the same pattern as the last time. With this new found knowledge, he was able to make it across the invisible looking bridge and onto his path. Which was gold, much like everything else in regards with him.

Once on their bridge, an illumination of the same color would light up, and a person would be a lot less likely to fall into a loophole, much less likely to fall through. The bridges were also barely visible, but there was a glow, so unlike the blocks of the bridge, weren’t entirely see through.

Daehyun focused his senses, listening out for any indication of Jongdae. He was still on his bridge, which seemed endless all of a sudden.

Purposely keeping on track and straight in the middle, he continued further, noting that the bridge seemed to be coming to an end. He focused his thoughts on Jongdae, remembering what T had once told him.

Once a person solved the original puzzles, and had gotten onto their bridge, they had a tighter hold of the reins of their paths. If he thought hard enough, believed that Jongdae was close, it was likelier to become a reality.

He stood still, closing his eyes. Thinking of nothing but Jongdae, believing him to be close. He waited several seconds, insisting on this thought.

 _The more you believe in your specific thought,_  he remembered T insisting. _The more you visualize it, the closer you get._   _The more specific the thought is, the better._

It was interesting, Daehyun thought. The voids appeared so complicated and complex on the outside, especially to new viewers, but once solved and studied, they made a whole lot of sense. Followed a clear line of reasoning.

With a deep breath, he opened his eyes. Just like T had insisted, it was the truth. A few meters away, Jongdae sat.

Daehyun sighed in relief, making his way over. Just as he crouched down and reached over, a ball of energy wrapped itself around Jongdae, and just as his hands reached out to grab hold of Jongdae, he was flung backwards. So far he was almost whipped off his pathway, and into the abyss.

Seconds later, he zapped back to the earth’s atmosphere, feeling an all too familiar burn. Negative energy. Jongdae was coated in negative energy. A type that was unendurable for his kind.

Probably damaging for both the second J and T, even with their positions in such a realm, though not enough to kill them. Which was when he came to realization that he had no chance of getting through to Jongdae, at least not without assistance, from said brothers.

But if even the second J and T would be injured upon physical contact with the energy that had wrapped Jongdae in its arms to a point that could interfere with their duties, and likely unlocatable at that present moment in time, who would he turn to? The third J was out of the question and obviously, of all, so was the first J. Unless...

Daehyun sighed, knowing how much of a risk it was, but also knowing that if Lilian -- who had certainly offered to help -- had assistance and guidance through the void with one of his dark alignment brothers, she'd make it out alive, with Jongdae in tow. It just meant convincing said dark alignment brother to go through with it, knowing interaction with life of either dark alignment brother was nothing of a forte. 

 

Lilian knew instantly that something was amiss, Yixing guessed by the fact that Daehyun returned on his own. Without Jongdae in tow.

He was seconds away from threatening Daehyun with his life, but noted the almost frantic expression on his face. So he waited for an explanation. Some form of solid reasoning. He hadn't stated how long it would take, nor how many attempts. Yixing realized from first hand experience that to succeed, sometimes a person needed to fail first.  
So he withheld his judgement. And waited.

His expression was hard to read, even for Lilian this time. After a few minutes of silence, he spoke, “Chen is wrapped in a blanket of negative energy. High calibre. Not the highest form, but close.”

"And that translates to…?" Yixing trailed off.

"I cannot get through. This blanket of energy is the type that harms me greatly. I had no idea it would be able to travel through vortexes and voids in a compact state. Usually, it would break apart, dismantle. But it has not. It is evidence that whatever Jongdae witnessed… whatever—or whomever—caused it, they are bad news. All evidence points to the Nocens--or Them--but as of yet, I cannot identify which one of the disgraceful organization. With that amount of power, it would be wise to assume more than one, however…" he trailed off, glancing at his forearm, blinking. "I am wounded." He presented it to Lilian and Yixing and they both cringed visibly.

"However…" Yixing also trailed off, as if to coax him into continuing.  
  
"I must be over thinking it," Daehyun said. "Never mind. The fact of the matter stands that I—as my kind—cannot get through. No matter what I do." He glanced at Lilian as if he were ashamed, as if he’d failed.

Before he could even open his mouth, she jumped onto her feet.

"Gotcha," she said, nodding enthusiastically. "Am I allowed to say I hate to say I told you so, but I told you so? Because I totally told you so!"

Daehyun nodded, seeming subdued. “In great dishonor,” he began. “I come to the conclusion that it is currently impossible for me to break through the barriers placed upon Chen’s shoulders. Whatever happened, it has left an imprint so great, an impact so strong, even the first J would react in aversion. My kind is not able to break through that, not without harming ourselves greatly. Possibly to the point where we lose all ability in said realm, unable to do anything of use if light alignment, dark alignment members will be momentarily stunned and also injured, but they can still operate, especially if their goal is to distract the being and not face it head on. I take all responsibility for the upcoming events, Lilian, but if you would.” He indicated for her to move closer.

She did.

"I appoint this task to you." She jumped eagerly. "But, before we do, there is one other thing."

"What’s that?"

"You must accept the bond. It is a simple, quick procedure, but it will help so much. I will be able to contact you via telepathy, and you will appear on my radar—which means easy tracking of your location. To give into a bond, you must be aligned under my specific alignment, which I am quite certain you are at this point, but I must check. Please answer the following questions honestly."

Lilian nodded.

"Since it should only be at its early stages, there should not be a lot. Think back to the first time you met me. Was it easy to communicate with me? Please think beyond that of your natural communication abilities. I am asking if I, as a stranger, were easy for you to speak with. Take into consideration how others have interacted with me. If you are unaware, after the first or so meeting, the majority of them begin to pick up and notice supposed peculiar habits I have. Lack of contractions, a different aura, so to speak. To them, I appear to be an odd puzzle piece that does not quite align. No matter how far I have come in disguising myself. I did, however, notice that interaction with you upon first meeting was miles smoother than with others I have met. With Chen, also."

Lilian nodded along. “Honestly,” she said. “I keep hearing about these supposed habits, but I personally never noticed. Maybe I’m naive or unobservant, but nothing seemed peculiar about you to me?”

Daehyun processed this. “That could go one of two ways. Rather than peculiar, do I feel _familiar_ to you? As in, even without prior exposure to me, it is easy to interact with me. You have witnessed the way Lay interacted with me, correct? Humans are an interesting subject and I realize you are all individuals first and foremost and that it would be incorrect to group you all under one category. But it stands that those under my alignment will react in ways others do not. You either are under my alignment, or you are not. Familiarity upon first meeting, perhaps even a few after, points in this direction. Though thus far those under me seem to be quite unaware of what is taking place, that it is only I getting vibes until a peer is then introduced with me in vicinity. It is not your fault, it may simply be the way it is for my alignment. Let me rephrase, since meeting up here—taking Chen’s attendance into consideration also—have you felt calm and at ease in my presence? As if no harm will come of you when I am around?” 

Lilian nodded. “I think, even when he wasn’t around I could, too? But like you said, it’s been the strongest since we all grouped together? I don’t know how to explain it or why it’s there but I really do feel safe when you’re around.”

"Then that is one down," Daehyun said. "It has been noted that my facial expressions are also peculiar. Hard to pin point or define. I believe even your friend Chunji—who has been nothing if not attentive to detail—has trouble with it."

Lilian’s eyes widened slightly. “Seriously?” She asked. “He’s always been so good at that kind of thing.”

"One could say he even has a talent for it, no?" Lilian nodded at Daehyun’s question. "Do you have a difficult time reading my expressions, Lilian?"

"Not at all," she said easily.

"Would you say you share the talent your friend possesses in this area?"

She almost snorted. “No,” came her instant reply. “Nowhere near to his extent, anyway. I usually just get… vibes, if that makes sense? But with you, I don’t know, it’s really quite easy to pin point?”

"Final question," Daehyun said. "Do you feel a pull towards me? Do you find yourself subconsciously gravitating towards me, and my presence. If you do not, please do not hesitate to tell me. If you do, even if it is the most minuscule occurrence, we have enough to go on. We will then be able to carry it out quickly and concisely."

Lilian thought about it for a moment. “I don’t know exactly what it is I’m meant to be looking for, but I… felt defensive of you earlier? I believed in you, in the same way I believe in one of my friends, if that makes sense? Maybe that and a bit more because I feel like I could solely rely on you, in a way. Like all of us can. I can’t explain why or when it started happening, but it’s definitely there.”

"Then we are all set to go. Please take a step forward, Lilian."

Lilian nodded, quickly doing as asked. She stood in front of Daehyun, a bout of nervousness shooting through her. She had no idea what was to come, just that whatever it was, it sounded pretty important.

"Please do not be nervous, it will be over very shortly. Hold your hand out to me."

She did, trying to calm her nerves.

Daehyun noted this, sending her a reassuring smile. “It is okay, Lilian. Everything will be fine. You are not going to get hurt. I would not allow that to happen. In the unlikely case that it turned out you were not destined to be under my alignment—highly unlikely with what we already have to go with—the bond sealing would prove to be ineffective. Null. There would be nothing, you would feel no different. Do not worry.”

He then reach forward, taking hold of her wrist. Lilian felt a sense of ease wash over her in an instant. Whatever he said had to be true. She’d never felt as at ease than in that moment.

"Close your eyes," Daehyun’s voice was soft, not threatening. His hand met with Lilian’s, and he took a gentle hold of it. "Ignore your sight and focus on the sound. The touch. Tell me what you hear, sound activates first."

Lilian did as instructed, listening intently. “—I don’t know what it is…” She trailed off, a small smile gracing her lips. “But it’s really nice. And gentle. I feel like I’ve found… home? Wherever that even is. If it even exists.”

"It is activating. Can you hear anything, anything at all?"

Lilian listened. “Chirps, I think? From birds. It’s really gentle, really relaxing.”

Daehyun nodded. “Perfect. Now the touch. What do you feel?”

"Freedom," Lilian said instantly.

Daehyun blinked in surprise. “You must really desire an adventure, Lilian.”

She chuckled sheepishly.

"Is there anything else that you feel? Remember to focus. Block everything else out."

She was quiet for a minute, processing it. “Tingles,” she finally said.

Daehyun smiled a true, genuine smile at this. “Then that confirms it, just as I believed. You are seeking my guidance, Lilian. You are to be aligned under my alignment. Now, for the tingles in question, though I am certain of the answer already, I must still ask. Are they gentle? Or are they erratic?”

"They’re gentle."

Daehyun then began to chant under his breath. It was a fast paced chant, Lilian not catching on to any of it. She definitely felt the after affects, however. A gentle tickling motion had taken place on her hands, and she resisted the urge to giggle. Or open her eyes to see what was going on.

"You can open your eyes now, Lilian."

She instantly did, gasping at the sight that lay before her vision. “Whoa,” she rasped, almost winded. “Is this real? Is my skin burning, but not hurting?” Her eyes then widened. “Did you just make me invincible?!  _Wow.”_

Daehyun let out a good natured laugh at this. “Aish,” he said, in a manner so gentle, so affectionate. “Lilian, I realize you are new to this, but it is not burning. It is glowing, there is a great difference.”

She crinkled her nose at him. “Why’s it glowing, then?”

"It is in the final stages of sealing our newly activated bond. Take a closer look, there are words."

She inspected her hand, but found that she couldn’t even understand the language it was in. It looked like ancient squiggles. Completely undecipherable. “Um,” she trailed off unsure, glancing up to meet his gaze. “I kind of… can’t read it.”

Daehyun blinked, seemingly taken aback. His eyes then widened for a split second and he shook his head at himself. “Of course,” he said. “I am sorry, it skipped my mind that you would not instantly be able to translate. There is only one that can for each alignment. It would be interesting if there were to be two to an alignment, however. We are still learning about this ourselves, so perhaps it is possible? Unlikely, but not impossible. Perhaps I should contact T about the matter. However, he is much more knowledgeable about this topic than I, currently. Though I am learning, and hope we will be on the same page very soon.”

"I don’t know what that means at all, Daehyun, but okay." She then grinned happily at him, still glancing down at her arm in awe. "What does it say?"

"Here." He pointed to the top line of ancient looking squiggles. "It says my name,  _Jung Daehyun_. Underneath it roughly translates to _member of alignment Jung, Light._  It is an identification process and the glow will soon fade, leaving no trace or visible writings to you or any other humans. Or any other beings minus my kind. When visiting the earth and up in our kingdom, it is a quick way to identity who is aligned under who. Now, to Chen. We must retrieve Chen.”

Lilian nodded affirmatively, deciding she wasn’t nervous for this side of things at all. That it was too interesting to be nervous about, that even if she were to risk her life for it, the sheer fact that she’d be able to see something a very minor percentage of humans ever would… it seemed worth it.

"Edge closer to Chen," Daehyun instructed, waiting on Lilian. "Take hold of his hand," he continued, once she done the previous instruction.

Lilian crinkled her nose but complied. She knew it was childish—or not really, maybe it was out of her best interest, he had threatened to kill her and all—but she didn’t exactly feel ecstatic at the thought of holding his hand. It was evident they weren’t going to be getting along any time soon, and holding hands with the closest person one considered an enemy was just… wrong.

Making a point to let her sigh be known, she took hold of Jongdae’s hand. It was cold, entirely unresponsive. And she was glad, because had he been able to respond, she presumed he’d try something.

Something along the lines of purposely pulling her wrist back to the point where it would snap.

She scowled, wondering why she was even offering to help him. Then she remembered that she wanted to visit the void for herself and received her answer.

"You will be able to hear my voice once you enter the same state as Chen, but you will not be able to see me. Once there, please—for the life of you—do not disobey the instructions I give to you. Voids are scary places, Lilian. This is for your own safety."

Lilian nodded.

Daehyun cast a glance at their touching hands, contemplative. "Please do your best to intertwine your fingers." Lilian cringed visibly and she could’ve swore she witnessed Daehyun rolling his eyes at her, in an almost playful manner. Maybe she was hallucinating, she reasoned. "It helps strengthen the connection. If you are holding onto a part of each other physically, it will enable you to pull you both back, once you have found him and taken of him, as such. But you will be guided every step of the way, so do not fret if this sounds complicated."

Begrudgingly, she did. But he even had to be a pain in his immobile state, because where she’d intertwined her fingers between his, his had stayed entirely motionless. She sighed, glaring at his immobile features and pushed them down for him.

"Please close your eyes."

She did. Daehyun placed two fingers against her forehand and two against Jongdae’s. He chanted a chant she recalled but couldn’t translate. She felt her body seizing up by the time he was nearing the end and felt herself physically disconnecting from her surroundings. She felt the excitement bubble up within her.

This was really going to take place. She was going to see the void with her very own eyes.

 

It happened within a fraction of a second, and Jongdae had no idea what was taking place. The solid ground beneath him seemed to be melting away, before it collapsed within an instant. His entire surroundings had begun to blend into each other at such a fast speed, he felt like his head was spinning. It didn’t take long for them to dissipate completely. For Yixing to dissipate entirely.

He remembered calling out to Yixing, screaming at the top of his lungs, waiting for a response. An acknowledgement. A helping hand.

He received none of the above. Yixing had blanked him out entirely, or at least that’s what he’d originally believed up until Yixing disappeared from the scene entirely. Dissipated into thin air, as if he’d been nothing but an apparition the entire time.

Jongdae had clawed his hand forward, trying to grab onto the area in which he’d been—as if it would bring him back, but he was met with nothing. His hand fell to his side in an instant, a chill reverberating through him.

He blinked, and that appeared to be all it took for everything to change.

His surroundings darkened, becoming pitch black. No matter how hard he tried to focus, he couldn’t see a thing. There were peculiar chills that would reverberate through him, incessant. Persistent.

The chills were like ice water, with a sharp shock factor. The temperature of the surroundings felt like nothing he’d ever witnessed before. He didn’t have words to describe how debilitating cold it was becoming. Nor how dark the shroud like mists were, either.

He had no idea where he was, whether or not he was dreaming. He had gone a while without sleeping, had he not? He wasn’t a stranger to nightmares, but he’d never had one as inexplicable as whatever it was that was taking place currently.

Nothing made sense, not at all.

Nothing made sense, until everything did.

And once it did make sense, he realized that, maybe, he didn’t want to go back after all…

 

Lilian wasn’t sure of what to expect, so had no previous preconceptions or misconceptions in mind. She wasn’t even sure of how to properly describe her surroundings. Just that it appeared endless. Miles upon miles of empty space, with no solid ground to be found. It didn’t matter where she looked, she seemed to be standing—or floating—in a pool of nothingness.

Bundles of space situated around her, and these swirling waves of color, shades she’d never witnessed before on earth. She dared not move, waiting for instruction. Of course she wanted to explore, but it seemed… deadly. She wasn’t even sure where it was she was currently standing.

Some time must have passed, and she must’ve zoned out, because hearing the voice crack through the barriers made her jump. She didn’t sway or fall anywhere, but her surprise was externally expressed.

'Lilian?' The voice had said. It sounded floaty, as though it was having a hard time connecting through. Only then did she realize just how far away from home she was. She knew instantly who the voice belonged to, but that was only because it was the only logical possibility. Daehyun. Had she not known he was the only one who'd be able to telepathically connect through, she wouldn't have been able to guess that it was him. His voice sounded massively different. The tones, the vibrations, everything.

'Can you hear me?' He continued.

"I can," she said, taking a deep breath. "It’s really cold," she continued, shivering.

'Yes,' Daehyun said. 'Voids are very different to solid realms. You must already be able to tell by glancing at your surroundings, but they are not half as secure as the planet you inhabit. Temperatures are consistently below that of what you are used to—even the coldest temperatures you may have witnessed—and it will never warm up. I, myself, am indifferent to temperatures, but as a human you will be affected by them. Please do not directly touch any cold patches, or anything that may appear to be moving towards you. Floating in your direction.'

"Okay." Lilian took another deep breath, visibly shivering still. "Do I just wait—" Her teeth were chattering. "Or…?"

'A pathway will appear before your vision very shortly. It may already have. If so, glance down at where your feet currently stay. If there is what appears like nothingness, you must wait longer. If there is something—even if the tiniest spark—we can begin. Please take a look.'

Lilian did, and when she did she was met with a gust of what she’d consider pure ice wind. She shivered, visibly wincing, but she tried her hardest not to complain. She focused her vision before her feet, at first it seemed like there was nothing. She suppressed her sigh, because she didn’t want it to travel through to Daehyun and make him worry.

Then, as she focused further she noted that there was a hint of something. A thin veiled outline that appeared practically transparent, but was still there.

'There will be a puzzle you must solve, or a pattern you must follow. I cannot see into the void from where I am, so when you notice it, please speak up.'

Lilian nodded, but realized he couldn’t see her and rolled her eyes at herself. “Yes,” she said. “There’s, uh, already some… square blocks? They looked really… weak though. Like if I stepped on them they’d fall through and I’d disappear into nothingness, or something.”

'Hmm,' Daehyun drew the syllables out. 'Are they colored blocks? Even if only lightly. It may just be the outline ring. Please look closer.'

Lilian did as asked, soon noting that they were, in fact, colored blocks. All minus one, anyway. One was completely gray, and actually looked solid. “They’re colored,” she affirmed.

'Then you are in luck, Lilian. It is a pattern, not a code. Patterns are less devious than codes so it shall be much easier to solve. Once you find the pattern, it will not actively seek out to trick you, or throw you off. Codes, on the other hand, do.' He stopped for a second. 'Is there a solid gray block?'

"Yes," Lilian replied instantly, happy they’d kind of been on the same page. She wondered what the solid gray block was for.

'Then we are all set. That is your starting point. In all other-worldly endeavors in less solid realms, you must find the gray. It is the closest linking material to your own realm, and thus is entirely safe for you to step, and start on. If you had looked closely you would have noted that the area you are currently standing on also has a gray outline, though less solid. Please make your way onto the solid-appearing gray block.'

Lilian did. She expected it to wobble, or shake, but it did neither. It stayed completely still, her, also. “I did,” she said.

'Focus your gaze onto the other blocks. Watch the pattern it presents to you. Memory is key, here.'

She waited a minute, or two, resisting the urge to impatiently tap her foot. It wouldn’t be wise to fall to her death just because of her impatience, she realized that. So she resisted the urge. Finally, the blocks began to momentarily light up. She watch the red block light up, then fade up, and then light up for the second time. It then stopped.

'Has the first pattern taken place?' Daehyun asked, knowing his time placement should be mostly on point. 'This will be the first stage.'

"Yes," she said. "The red block lit up, then faded, then lit up again. Then it stopped."

'Red, red. That means you step towards the red block, then back to the gray block, then back again. You stay on the red block the second time around, understood?'

"Yes," she said, seeming to perk up. Maybe this would be quite fun after all. If she didn’t forget the pattern, and all… which she really hoped she didn’t. She stepped from the gray block, to the red block. Then from the red block, back to the gray block, and then stepped towards the red block again. Staying there.

'The next pattern will pick up the pace, this is the second stage.'

And it did. It flashed the red twice, just like before. Then green, once. Blue, three times. She wasn’t sure how many gray steps she had to include in the pattern.

"Uh," she drawled out, chewing on her cheek lightly. "It went two red, one green, three blues. But I’m unsure of the gray blocks I need to include, if I do still need to include them? What do I do?"

'One gray block for each different color. Meaning, one for red. One for green. One for blue.'

"In any order?"

'I would recommend you follow the order it started with. So red block, gray block, red block. From the red block, to the green block, then back to the gray block. Then to the first blue block step, then back to the gray. Then two more blues. The pattern you have established is of colored block-gray block-colored block, until the last blue. It is simple in its essence. Understand?'

Lilian gulped. “I hope so.”

She was very careful with her footing, trying to keep her focus intense. It came easier to her than usual, perhaps because it was to complete the pattern or to fall through and meet some supposedly terrifying beings. And then have them latch onto for the rest of forever if she didn’t get out in time. Which, in her opinion, did seem quite interesting. Perhaps it was for another time and place, though.

Eventually, she pulled through without making a mistake. And she could honestly say it was a very nerve-racking few moments for her.

Daehyun seemed to pick up that she’d completed the second stage without her having to state as such. ‘Now the third stage,’ he said. ‘It will incorporate every color. One will be a trick block—’

"Whoa, wait a minute," Lilian interrupted. "I thought you said the patterns weren’t devious!"

'They are  _less_  devious, Lilian. The trick block is inserted with the intention of stunting all the previous progress you have made and plunge you into a depth you do not want to face. It will force you to interact with all of the beings that inhabit this void, all at once.’

 _But that’s so cool,_  Lilian had wanted to say. She didn’t. Instead she puffed out a breath and waited on the third stage. Soon, the blocks began to light up again. They went, red-red-green-blue-blue-blue. Then paused.

"It stopped…" she trailed off, gulping. Was it supposed to stop?

'Wait a second,' Daehyun assured.

A second passed. Two blocks lit up at the exact same time and Lilian quirked an eyebrow. There was a lit yellow block, and a lit purple block.

"Um…" Her eyebrows furrowed. "Two just lit up. Do I step on both?"

'No.' His reply was almost instantaneous. 'One is your trick block, you must figure out beforehand which is the trick block. Please tell me the colors that have lit up.'

"There's a yellow block and a purple block." Lilian twiddled with her thumbs. "And I have no idea which is the trick block."

'That is interesting,' Daehyun said, clearly thinking it through.

Lilian quirked an eyebrow. “Interesting as in my kind of interesting, or interesting in your, uh, non human type endeavors?”

'The latter.'

"Right," Lilian dragged the word out. "I thought as much. So, anyway, do I guess, or do you guess? What do we do?"

'Which block do you feel it is, Lilian?'

She took a deep breath, contemplating. “Somehow purple seems like the obvious option to trick me with? Like I’d automatically assume the trick block is purple? So I guess for that reason, I think it may be yellow.”

'Surprisingly enough, I am on the same page as you.'

Lilian was surprised at this. “So does that mean I’m right?”

'Most probably. It does leave with an underlying worry, however.'

Lilian gulped back her nervousness. “What’s that, then?”

'Four of the five colors that have come up are all representations of my kingdom's alignments. The first color that came up was red, and of the five, that is the color we do not incorporate. At the basis of everything, my kind would presume that to be the obvious trick block, especially with how the voids are much closer to my kingdom than the earth. But it appears to not be the case, or at least, not right now. Red was successfully used in the pattern. Purple represents the second J's alignment. Blue represents T's alignment. Green represents the third J's alignment. In this case, it is intended that yellow is substituted for gold. Gold represents my very own alignment. Red is opposing, and most prominently would indicate the beings that They are.’

Lilian nodded along.

'If you are still a little confused on why it is quite troubling, consider this. Yellow is substituted for gold. Gold is my alignment. You are under my alignment. Yellow is a trick block. Somehow the void knows that you are under my alignment. It has adapted to what may be considered personal information about you with no prior knowledge of your existence. We may consider it as just a void, but it appears to have its own intelligence, perhaps its own ability to think. To deduct. To plan. To plot. It is not a living being by any means… so does that not make it scarier?'

"Oh," Lilian said, feeling a chill run through her spine. "That’s… terrifying."

'You have not been in the void's presence long at all—and definitely not encountered its inhabitants—so consider what it may have found out about Chen, by this point.'

Lilian cringed. “Oh no,” she said, chewing on her lip. “That’s really not good at all, is it?”

'Precisely.'

 

His first thought had been,  _is this real, or am I dreaming?_

It had to be a dream, his mind had reasoned. Otherwise, there was no possible way.

As hazy as his memory for fine details had become, especially in this domain, he was certain nothing had changed. That everything had been as it once was. From the plant atop the kitchen window pane, to the crinkle in the living room’s curtain.

They weren’t rich, they’d never been rich. But curtains were essential in their house. They had to hide away, disguise themselves. There were a lot of enemies around, and with the amount of time they had to spend in the house researching, that opened many opportunities for an ambush. He could recall days it’d just be himself and Jongin—at a very young age—just huddled together in the living room, eyes wide and alert, awaiting any break in.

The profession had always been a minimum two person job, and as their parents were much more adept and skilled at the practical side of things, they had no other choice but to be the ones that went.

Both Jongdae and Jongin didn’t see the need for that. They always assumed it would be better to have an adult around supervising the house at all times, and one of the children helping out, learning that way. The other parent could be out showing the practical side to the remaining child. And both parents and children could swap it around whenever necessary.

He knew why they did it. It was no lie that the brothers were both very, very young at the time. Even so, neither felt that was a good enough reason. Or that they had reasons to go against it, if anything.

As true as it was that any other child their age wouldn’t have the capacity to be able to cope with juggling both aspects at the same time, but Jongdae and Jongin had grown up in a complete contrast to other children, and in such, would have the capacity to cope.

Just as Jongin liked to emphasize, they didn’t have time to be children. His younger brother’s opinion on this topic would always prove to bother him, he wouldn’t deny that much, but this was one aspect both brothers had agreed on, even as children.

They may have been young, but cooping them up in the house when their parents went out and as they ambiguously put it, ‘hunted’, left them with unbalanced skills.

It was a few years later that both brothers had learned this factor the hard way. They were miles more intelligent than they were practical. Living in the wilderness was a massive struggle, at least up until the appearance of Yixing.

Both brothers probably already knew that their intelligence would always be beyond that of their practical skills, even now. But thanks to the help of Yixing, it had evened out somewhat. In that they weren’t visibly lacking in either. 

Their parents were the best at their trade—at least back then—but Yixing’s way of teaching definitely surpassed that of their parents. Jongdae had always thought so, but to say it aloud somehow felt disrespectful.

As if wherever it was his parents were, they’d have their ears tuned in and would take great offence. That they’d consider him a bad son for even dreaming of bringing up a comparison.

He then took a deep breath, realizing he really could’ve just been dreaming. He’d visited his old house hours prior, so it wasn’t improbable. He could’ve just been recalling the past versus the present contrast of the place. How it used to be when his family inhabited in comparison to how it was now that Taemin and Anna inhabited it.

Deciding that was the case, he decided to play along with the dream, because evidently he’d be waking up soon.

Wouldn’t he?

 

It just appeared to be him in his old house, with it old decorations, and lack of furniture. And lots of curtains.

He was sitting in silence, his back against the nearest wall, completely still. He didn’t glance at his surroundings, didn’t intend to move around anywhere. He just sat. For five or so minutes, in pure, uninterrupted silence.

Usually, he wasn’t fond of prolonged silence. Somehow in this moment, there was an eerily calm aura sounding the entirety of it all.

He might have even gone as far as to consider it relaxing.

Safe, even.

But it wasn’t intended to be a continuum occurrence, he knew it wasn’t something he’d be able to keep up with. He was too curious. And this was his dream and his subconscious depicting images of his old house, so why wouldn’t he explore it, seeing as he was able to?

With the intent of exploring, he pushed himself onto his feet and took the time to look around. Detail for detail, it looked the exact same. Even the stairs hadn’t changed. A direct replica.

It was confusing for him because he wasn’t someone who paid attention to tiny, intricate details such as the thread weaving between curtains, the tiny shards that had chipped off the walls due to age.

They were all there, to the minute detail. And for the strangest reason he was able to recall them, though they were the kind of details he’d skip by instantly, in any other case. Even in this case. He didn’t care that they were there as a child, barely even noticed them then, so why could he pin point them right now, why was it so easy to tell that this house was a direct replica of the one he’d lived in as a child?

He paused for a second, allowing the a thought to slip through. The thought consisted of the possibility that rather than a direct replica, perhaps the house he was standing in really was the same house he lived in years ago.

But he shook his head. There was no way. He was dreaming. He had to be dreaming.

Wasn’t he with Yixing a few minutes ago? He could’ve sworn that… this pulled him to a stop. Why was it suddenly so difficult to recall?

The memory of being beside Yixing seemed so hazy, so convoluted, though he swore he’d been there moments ago. And the memory of the house he’d once inhabited, which hadn’t looked this way since he was nine years old, was crystal clear.

A chill reverberated through him at the sheer amount of confusion he was feeling, but he hoped to shake the thoughts away. He was dreaming. That was a fact.

It had to be a fact.

Didn’t it?

Making his way towards the staircase, he took a breath as if to prepare himself, before ascending. He knew there were only two rooms. The room to the right had always been their parents’. The left belonged to Jongdae and Jongin. He found himself wondering if Jongin could remember what the room they shared in the house they once inhabited once looked like, and if he ever compared it to the camp ground.

Clearly the room had a higher sense of comfort and security, but which would Jongin consider home?

The answer was easy for Jongdae, he knew he’d always long for a house with walls and gardens, an unreachable, far away dream. It’d have parents too, so he knew he’d never be able to make it a reality.

But when the topic of home was brought up, his thoughts instantly directed themselves towards rooms, staircases, gardens. Windows. The first thing he’d see in his mind would be the room he and his brother once shared.

When their parents were still alive.

Walking into said room had him questioning why he felt such a personal attachment to the place. It was practically stripped to the bone, minus the two self-assembled beds that were placed against the wall furthest to him. A self-assembled table, that had piles of books atop it. “Aish,” he said, taking it all in. “We really had nothing, did we?”

Neither brother had assembled the bed or the table—that was their parents’ doing. But the organizing was all their doing. He remembered how they’d bicker over it. Especially with the books.

Jongin liked to have all the books placed into small sections. He’d arrange it in a way that the smaller books would be grouped together into one section, and the larger books would be grouped together in another section. He’d also arrange them into alphabetical order. It was easier for the younger to navigate through them and get to what he wanted that way.

It was efficient, and Jongdae realized that, but it wasn’t something that kept him all that interested. Nor that he was fond of. It wasn’t that he went out of his way to create disorder, but having everything precisely in place was just… unsettling to his mind. It made him uncomfortable. Like his entire life would turn out the same way the books were arranged, planned and alphabetical.

Jongdae preferred taking a slightly less organized but more creative route of organizing the books. He’d have sections, but rather than in an alphabetical order, he’d arrange them in unique and interesting ways.

Either be it by how interesting he found the creatures, basically arranging it so the most interesting to him at that moment—which did change every so often—was at the top, and the least interesting at the bottom, or from the most scary to the least scary in his opinion. He’d also find interesting ways to stack the books, sometimes have it so the order went: larger book—smaller book—larger book.

He also had this reoccurring thought of using one of the books as a weapon, had there to be any instance of a break in. He even told his father about it once, proudly.

His father had sent him this undecipherable look and told him that it was ridiculous, that had the instance of of a break in with a creature they’d learned about—or read about—the last thing he should ever think of using as a weapon would be those books. That the books were sacred. They contained all the knowledge potentially known about said creatures. That if he hit any of the creatures with a book, not only would it break the books delicate spine, if the creatures themselves found the books… chaos would ensue.

Perhaps that was why he felt so angry with himself for months—even years—after that fateful night took place. He’d left the house empty handed in a panic. Just he and Jongin. Maybe if he’d just stayed a few hours longer… if he’d just found a way to escort the books with them...

Their parents never failed to remind them how sacred they were, how they held the key information to all their present known enemies. Ways of how to identify them, how to defeat them.

The worst thing about it wasn’t just the disappointment he knew they’d feel if they ever found out, but the fact that had he found a way to take them with him, he’d probably hold so much more knowledge about Them.

Enough to know what the pocketwatch really meant, what it signified. Know whatThey were and where to find them. Enough knowledge to be able to devise a plan and not be left entirely in the dark about their identities and their reasonings.

Enough to be able to defend himself if they ever decided to attack. 

But he hadn’t. And all he was left with with the pocketwatch and the logical assumption that it was more than a one person job, considering the methods used and the time it took, and premeditated, considering the amount of precision applied.

On top of being homeless and acquiring a debilitating fear of blood.

Constantly having to live in paranoia and worry that They weren’t done, that their grudge was personal, that they wouldn’t stop until they’d reached every last one of his family.

He still wasn’t sure how true that was, but the disappearance of Jongin and the pocketwatch he’d found in the area, was enough to for him to believe that he really wasn’t over thinking it.

In fact, he wasn’t even sure the books would’ve contained anything to do with Them, especially with how well they’d hidden themselves. For so long. He knew that if he had taken the books, however, he’d still have the written evidence and detailed accounts of the creatures he may one day have had to face, more on creatures he already had. Ways to identify them, overpower them.

But he  _hadn’t_  taken the books, and thus, was left with a whole lot of fuzzy knowledge about creatures he’d never once encountered. And he’d never stop blaming himself for that.

It was only worsened by the constant worry that had his parents known he hadn’t taken the books too, they’d be exceedingly disappointed in him.

Sighing, he made his way over the the self-assembled desk. The brothers had eventually come to a compromise back in the day. It was that they’d each have their own corner of the desk, so they could both arrange the books in the way they preferred.

He remembered Jongin being confused once their father had left the room. He remembered the younger turning to him and asking something along the lines of ‘What difference would it make?’ when the younger hadn’t received a reply, he continued with, ‘If they infiltrated they’d find the books either way.’

Younger Jongdae had found himself nodding, even wanting to pipe in and add his thoughts. But he refrained. He didn’t know why that was, what stopped him from joining in. Perhaps it was because their parents were older, so obviously they knew better, didn’t they? But more so than that, it was because it was their parents. That he had to follow their lead and respect their wishes. They knew what was best for the both of them.

Jongin was always dubious of that, but it was something younger Jongdae instantly accepted.

'Besides,' the younger had continued. 'If they don't train us in the practical side soon, we'd have no option but to use the books as weapons.'

Younger Jongdae didn’t know how to reply to that. 

The way his brother’s mind worked was the most confusing thing for Jongdae.

The younger would go from sounding like the most mature child on the planet, to then stating things that clearly fit in with his young age. Jongin knew full well what their parents did for a living, he knew they fought—and ‘stopped’ bad creatures from existing, but after that night had taken place the reality of the situation didn’t seem to sink in for quite some time. He genuinely appeared to not know that death was a permanent occurrence. At least not for their parents.

Perhaps it stemmed from the subject never fully being breached. That when it was breached it was worded in a way that skirted around the finality of death completely. The fact that they’d—all three of the elders—would use words like ‘fought’ or ‘stopped’ or even ‘defeated’. ‘Dead’ and ‘death’ never seemed to come up.

And in the few times that they did, it would be heavily emphasized that these creatures were bad, evil. Therefore, they deserved no questioning, no sympathy, no mercy. That they deserved death.

Jongdae cringed as he came to stark realization of the situation.

Younger Jongin had had it instilled into him that death only occurred when a person, or being, or creature was bad. Evil.

Maybe due to Jongdae’s doing, he’d also heard it consistently stated that their parents were invincible. That they were outstanding citizens, greater than anyone else. That they’d overcome anything, and defeat all the bad in the world. But that was what their parents presented to the world. That was what younger Jongdae had been led to believe.

It wasn’t something he made up just for the sake of it. He genuinely believed it himself.

So when thinking about the events that took place when they were forced to relocate, it all made sense. Jongin’s first worry wasn’t even that they’d died, it was that they’d run away and given up on he and Jongdae, and he wanted to know why his elder brother was lying to him about it.

Which meant the younger did have some form of hope left in him; something Jongdae himself had to distinguish with the reality of the situation. In Jongin’s mind at that time, only bad people died, and rather than believe his parents were bad people, he chose to take the other option in that their parents had given up on them and run away for whatever reason.

Therefore, when finding out that their parents died, in Jongin’s mind, wouldn’t that mean their parents were bad people, too?

His reaction to the entire thing made so much more sense to Jongdae in that moment.

And so did his entire dislike for being babied, and treated like a child.

Wondering how it was even possible for him to be thinking so much in a dream, he turned his attention back the desk before him. He expected to see both his side and Jongin’s side, just like it had been in the past.

His surprise was hard to disguise when dropping his gaze towards the books and being met with the sight of every single book being arranged alphabetically. In smaller book sections, and larger book sections. It was as if his side had never even existed.

He felt his eyebrows furrow together in pure confusion. And fear.  
  
This was his dream. This was his dream of his old house. He’d developed this new found ability to be able to recall every minor detail, and of all the details he knew with pure certainty that the desk arrangements incorporated both Jongdae and Jongin’s preference of organization.

So why was the reality before him different?

 

He was still frozen in place, confusion seeping through every inch of his being. He tilted his head to the side slightly, gazing intensely at the books on the desk. Since it was his dream and he still seemed to have autonomy, he was in control after all. So wouldn’t he be able to alter the details however he liked?

Nodding his head, he closed his eyes. He thought about, long and hard. Focused on making it look the way it used to. With his section and Jongin’s section.

Opening his eyes, he expected it to look like it used to. But scarily, it didn’t. It hadn’t changed. This was his dream, he was sure of it. He was in control, he was sure of it.

So why wasn’t it working?

He decided he’d keep trying until did.

Gritting his teeth at his fifth or sixth attempt, he reopened his eyes to find it in the exact same state as before he closed his eyes.   
In Jongin’s arrangement.

"This is ridiculous," he spat out. "I distinctly remember us coming to an agreement about this. Of the few memories I can recall in depth about this house, that’s one of the top few. There was my section to this side, and Jongin’s at that side. This is utterly ridiculous and impossible. It shouldn’t be this way!" And just as he was making his way over to physically alter the books, a chill ran through him at the next occurrence.

"Funny you should say that," a voice said, stopping him in his tracks. "Ironic, too."

Jongdae felt his body run ice cold, then freeze up.  _No,_  he thought.  _That’s not possible_. There was no way. No possible way.

A disbelieving scoff sounded. But a little less than disbelieving, it seemed as if it was half expecting this turn of event. “You have been missing all of these years, Kim Jongdae. Literally disappeared off the face of the planet without a trace, and now when you finally decide to show your face again, you can’t even look at me?” It was as if he could feel the disappointment seeping out of the voice of the owner. “Who would’ve thought you’d grow up to be such a coward,  _hyung?”_

Jongdae literally felt the impact it made for him to squeeze his eyes closed. The exact second his hand shook. The minute the shaky breath was exhaled. It was as if time slowed down. Forcing himself to open his eyes, he turned around.

There was no way. Even the dream excuse wasn’t enough to explain it. He’d dreamed about his past before, it was never nice, and it was never this. But it had happened and he knew that. It was already strange in itself he could suddenly replicate his old house to the minute detail, but to be able to replicate his brother to the minute detail, too? That was an entirely other level.

He knew Jongin. Up until a few days ago he’d seen him every single day of his life and had never left his side. He knew every habit and every mannerism, but even so, there was no way his subconscious would be so spot on as to replicate every tiny instance.

The detail in the younger’s fingernails, the length of his eyelashes, not even just physical traits. The tone and depth of his voice, that look in his eyes. Everything.

His brother—his missing brother—was standing before him. Slightly perched against the door frame, with his arms crossed over his chest. Same hair, same eyes, same eyelashes and eyebrows. Same nose, same lips, same jawline. Everything.

Detail for detail.

"J-Jongin…?" He wasn’t sure what he was feeling, what he was supposed to do. He wasn’t sure what it was that defined it for him, but he knew he couldn’t consider this a dream any longer.

The younger watched him in regard, barely blinking. “I’m not sure if you’re a mirage right now.” He stopped as if to get his footing.

 _The same could be said to you,_  Jongdae thought.

"But if not, I’d highly recommend that you come downstairs and greet the people who have been searching for you since you disappeared all those years ago."

Jongdae’s eyebrows furrowed at this, confusion seeping through his entire being. “Huh?”

Jongin pursed his lips. “Mother and father,” he emphasized plainly. “Who else?”


	18. Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOFok6-Tpt8

Jongdae took a deep breath, as if up until that moment, he hadn't been taking enough oxygen in. He opened his mouth, only to close it a second later. He pursed his lips, before biting them, chewing on them. Nervously. Confusedly.

Wherever he was, whatever was going on, this hyper-realistic version of Jongin standing before him... he had considered it a dream up until the younger had made his appearance. Up until the realization that the books weren't divided in both of their sections.

But how could any of that make sense with Jongin's prior statement?

How on earth--or wherever he was, for that matter--could his parents be downstairs if they were _dead?_

Hell, how could Jongin be standing in front of him if he'd gone missing days prior? He shivered at the realization it'd almost been a week since the disappearance. 

Jongdae had no idea where he was supposed to begin, what it was he was supposed to think. To believe. "Jongin," he began, his voice sounding smaller than he intended. "What are you talking about?"

An expression flickered behind the depths of Jongin's eyes. It looked like worry, but how could Jongdae be sure?

He'd been confused prior but this all just took it to a whole other level. What on earth was taking place?

"Hyung..." Jongin trailed off, sounding a tad softer than before. "Did you... hit your head?"

 _Hyung?_  Jongdae crinkled his nose. As much as he'd bicker with his brother about honorifics and insist upon terms of respect, since when did Jongin use them so easily, without needing to be reminded? "Did  _you?"_

"What?"

If anything, throughout the years, he'd learned the better method with his brother was to be upfront. Especially with the reaction he'd witnessed after he'd had to tell him their parents were, in fact, dead, as opposed to them abandoning the brothers. "Our parents are dead, Jongin."

It was true that even after all of these years, with topics like this, he'd never known how to accurately guess how the younger would react.

Even with what seemed to be the most logical assumption. The younger would always find a way to surprise him. This time was no different, but Jongdae was already expecting that, from prior experience. 

Jongin had laughed. It didn't last long, but Jongdae could instantly tell that it was genuine. At the same time, something felt off about it.  
Jongdae wasn't able to pinpoint what it was for certain.

"You're still cute, hyung."

Jongdae's eyes narrowed and his eyebrows furrowed. That was the second time in the span of a few seconds. "Seriously, again? Are you mocking me?"

"Nah." The worry seemed to make itself present once more. "I guess I'm just worried, and I don't know how to go about that? It's not everyday your missing brother of several years shows up in your room claiming your parents--who are downstairs, and in fact, very alive--are dead, is it? I wonder how hard you hit your head, hyung. Maybe we should get it checked out."

Third time. What was going on? "You keep saying that," Jongdae said, in reference to him--Jongdae--apparently disappearing. "What does it mean?"

"Aish," Jongin had said, glancing at him with that same worried expression from before. Contemplative, too. "You really don't remember?"

Jongdae stay quiet. What was he supposed to remember?

What was actually taking place? He had no idea. One moment he'd been talking to a light blond man by the name of Daehyun... he stopped.

Was he really?

Did that really happen?

Why was the memory of everything leading up to being situated inside of his old house feeling so hazy? So far away.

Nothing was making sense and somehow he'd ended up standing in his old house, facing his missing brother.

His dead parents apparently seated and alive downstairs.

How on earth was that possible? It all felt too detailed to be just a dream. Time was passing too slowly, and was he even right in the assumption that those dreaming held agency over themselves... he must've been.

Surely.

A person wasn't able to pinch themselves in dreams, as far as he was aware, so perhaps that was his next option.

Jongin chewed at his own lip, as if mirroring his hyung's previous action. "Hyung, seriously. You must've hit your head really hard. Do you remember how you made your way here?" He seemed wince somewhat as if not even considering this aspect prior. As if a 'no' to his next question was the most improbable and impossible occurrence. "Can you recall who I am?"

Jongdae gave him the flattest look he was capable of making. He was sure he'd still remember Jongin even if he had all of his memories tortured out of him, even if he was operated on and had his brain altered, he'd still find a way to keep the memory of his brother intact. Of all things he was sure of, that was one of them.

His lack of response seemed to worry Jongin more. "I'm Kim Jongin, I'm your younger brother." He edged closer. "How many fingers am I holding up?"

"I remember you," Jongdae stated flatly. "Three fingers and a thumb."

Jongin nodded. "So that would mean it's fixable. It may take some work, but so long as you can recall myself, father and mother--and what it is we do--I'm sure we'll get somewhere."

"I didn't hit my head," Jongdae insisted. "I'm certain--" He stopped there, sighing. "If any of us has hit their head, it's you."

"Why's that?"

"For starters, you keep referring to me as hyung willingly and two, you think our parents are alive. Newsflash, they're not. They died years ago."

"They're literally sitting downstairs." Jongin really did appear to be glancing at his brother as if he had three heads. "If you follow me down there, I can show you."

Jongdae scoffed. "This is getting ridiculous. We're going to go down the stairs of this hyper-realistic house with this hyper-realistic version of you and you know what we're going to find? Absolutely nothing. Pure emptiness. My parents are dead, my younger brother is missing. There's no way this is happening, nor is it possible."

"How sure of that are you, hyung?"

"Enough to bet my life on it."

"You must not value your life very much at all, then."

Jongdae came to a halt. Why did that sound so eerie? He then rolled his eyes. "Whatever," he said, quite bitingly. What left did he have to risk? He was sure they wouldn't be downstairs. "Lead the way."

Jongin raised an eyebrow. "Is that any way to treat your only brother?"

"My brother's missing, there's no logical way you can be him."

He swore he heard the younger still muttering on about Jongdae hitting his head as he descended the stairs, but he blanked it out. Jongin was currently missing, so how could he be standing beside him?

  
"What you said when in my room," Jongin had started, whilst they were still on the stairs. "What did you mean?"

"About what?"

"The hyung thing. I've always referred to you as hyung, hyung."

Jongdae scoffed. "I have a feeling you're doing this to stall me right now. Because you've realized you can't con me. My parents aren't downstairs, and you're not my brother."

Jongin frowned. "If that's what you truly believe, hyung. Or if you'd prefer it, Jongdae." He chuckled softly, as if the whole thing was mildly humorous to him. "Our parents are downstairs. I wouldn't lie about that."

"Yeah and I'm half expecting to see rotten corpses sitting in the position they were left in. Except that wouldn't make sense, when taking into account how many years they've been dead. They'd be decomposed by now, dust."

"They're not dead, Jongdae."

"Yeah, maybe in a world where I'm taller than you, and younger. Something we both know is practically impossible."

Jongin let out a lilting laugh at this, but refrained from carrying on the topic. "I'm certain that we must've searched the entire country for you, hyung. You don't know how happy they'll be to see you. If they tear up and stuff, don't say I didn't warn you."

"Corpses can't cry."

Jongin only sighed.

Once they reached the bottom step, he turned to face his elder brother, looking at him in a way that seemed as though he was memorizing the planes of his features, drinking in every detail, almost as if he was assessing what had or hadn't changed in the elder, since their last interaction.

"I know I'm not the best at verbalizing this kind of thing, but I'll say it now, okay? I really missed you, hyung. And I'm sorry we were never able to find you and bring you back. No one's going to hold a grudge at you for running away, honestly, we'll all just be glad that you decided to return to us after all these years. It's regretful that none of us got to witness you growing up, but better that you return to us now than never, no?"

Jongdae felt something twinge within him at the words, and he shivered. "Aish," he muttered, avoiding eye contact. Whatever this place was, it was confusing.

Why did it all seem to fit so well? Why was he suddenly contemplating the accuracy, the possibility of it all being true?

Had he really run away? Had he really hit his head so hard he'd imagined his entire--other--life?

That would explain why the memories felt so far away, wouldn't it?

Just as they took one of their last remaining steps forward until their destination, Jongin came to a stop. Jongdae halted too, having been behind him the entire time.

"Maybe I should give them a prior warning?" Jongin chewed on his lip, contemplating it. "I know I hate being taken by surprise, so..."

"Why spoil the fun?" Jongdae had wanted to mutter it sarcastically, but it held less bite than he was expecting.

Jongin seemed to be thoroughly contemplating it, and Jongdae felt something that seemed like a mix of sadness and confusion twinge within him, if it really did turn out this person wasn't his brother, he would've given them an award to be able to so effortlessly and precisely pull off the act.

He had Jongin's every expression and mannerism down. 

So much so, Jongdae was finding it hard to doubt the authenticity.

The only thing he'd been doubting was the use of the younger's honorifics. But that could easily be explained with upbringing, and living with their supposed living parents. Something the Jongdae of this place clearly hadn't experienced either.

"Just promise to stay behind me, okay? I don't want to induce heart attacks or anything."

Jongdae nodded along reluctantly. He wasn't sure what to think any more.

Trudging on behind his younger brother, it was as if Jongin was the elder. 

Jongdae's footsteps were eerily light and he wasn't able to hear them himself. His nerves were so erratic, he was having trouble keeping his hands from shaking.

Thoughts were spinning madly in his mind, steadily losing the ability to focus. Nothing was making sense, nothing seemed real. But at the exact same time, everything felt hyper-realistic.

Jongdae didn't know what to do. Nor what to say.

"Jongin?"

It was at this voice he felt his eyes close in an instant. The stinging feeling in his chest all too strong, he had to physically squeeze his hand into a fist to stop it from shaking. There was no mistaking it, even after all these years, he was able to tell. He was able to place that voice. The voice he'd dreamed about, the voice he would've given anything to hear again. The owner of the voice he would've given anything to see again. 

To interact with.

His mother.

It was his mother. Living, breathing. Speaking. Smiling. Like it was a natural occurrence, a daily happening. As if she hadn't had her life stolen from her mercilessly nine years ago. As if she hadn't been slaughtered right in front of his and Jongin's very eyes, hands--at the time, interlocked with her husband, all those years ago.

She was dressed just as he remembered, spare a few details. Hair tied up, both practical and efficient, it was also stylish, pretty. She'd always been a fan of long hair, making it a habit to grow it out, to avoid cutting it. She was quite tall, both of his parents had been.

And lean, from the amount of exercise they got with their job.

Of all things he could recall about his mother, the one thing that stood out most was the look in her eyes. Something he hadn't seen replicated for many miles.

Jongin had also always had an interesting look in his eyes, this hauntingly intense look, if he were to focus his gaze on people, it was as if he was able to see right through to the very souls of people. It was quite intimidating at times, Jongdae had always told him to use it to his advantage, had he ever need to.

But it was different for their mother. In their mother, it was also quite haunting. It still appeared to be able to see straight through things, to the very soul of the object or person, but it held somewhat of a vulnerability, too. Everything was seen through her eyes. 

What would've been a smile on her lips, had it been faked, would've instantly showed as such with one look into her eyes.

He'd always personally believed it was what had gotten her killed. Her best feature had also been the one that betrayed her most.

Once fear was shown in the eyes, there was no way to hide it, to disguise it.

The minute an enemy picked up on their victim's weak spot, they were obviously going to indulge in it. To the greatest degree.

Their killers--or one of their killers, had they been right in the assumption there were two--must've referenced something about Jongin and Jongdae, and her front would've slipped. Even if only for a second, it would've been what the killer would've been seeking.

He always believed it to be so, especially when taking into consideration the transition of that night, how in the beginning it genuinely did seem as if their parents held the advantage. Though it hurt to think about it, how it would anger him, bubble up every negative emotion he was capable of feeling, he remembered it as clear as day.

If a killer were to find a vulnerability, a weak spot, they had all they needed. If they found a vulnerability they could overpower their enemy with, they had all the leverage to destroy their enemy with it.

That was possibly why Jongdae--and Jongin--hated the fact that blood made them vulnerable so very much.

Hated that they hadn't found a way to avoid obtaining an intense aversion of it after the traumatic events they witnessed that night. Why they tried so hard to hide it, to not make it obvious. The tell tales signs were always there, and they knew they'd never be able to run from it. To hide it convincingly.

Especially when subjected to it in a confined space.

Which undoubtedly, they would be with an enemy.

With his eyes still squeezed closed, his fist clenched to counter the shaking, he took a final step forward, now fully visible in the general vicinity of the room.

Or, at least, he thought so.

His previous memories seemed to be so far away. So hard to reach out and grasp, to recall and re-encounter.

He knew both of his parents would snap their attention to the sound of another pair of footsteps that clearly didn't belong to their youngest son. 

If they'd gotten used to it just being Jongin, wasn't that a natural reaction?

Was he... unwelcome now?

Would they tell him to go away?

That, just like he feared, life was better off without him, after all? That they got more done when it was just Jongin and themselves. He knew wanting anything more would be nothing short of selfish.

Wouldn't it?

Hell, would they even recognize him? It wasn't that he looked miles different from when he was a child, but evidently the last time they'd seen him, he had been a child. They could've mistaken him as an unknown intruder.

Worse yet, if they did recognize him and still considered it to be the same prospect. Nothing but an intruder.

Unwanted, like all the rest of the intruders were. A nuisance.

Needing to be disposed of.

What he wasn't expecting was the reaction. He didn't expect the sharp, shrill like gasp that echoed around the entirety of the room. Nor was he expecting the instant shatter of a plate against the floor, evident it had shattered into a million tiny shards. By sound alone, it was evident the shards we razor sharp, that they'd make instant piercings into the skin.

"Oh my." His mother gasped, and the sound of her voice had his eyelids fluttering open. He instantly regretted it when he saw the tears that flooded into her eyes. "Jonginnie, is t-that?" She glanced between her sons in what seemed like abrupt confusion, awe.

When was the last time she'd seen them together, standing in the same room?

Was she hallucinating? She'd known she'd definitely hallucinated in the early years of his disappearance. That she'd constantly see him out of the corner of her eye, only to turn around and realize it wasn't the case at all.

She'd look at the self-assembled dinner table for some months, some years even, after it had taken place. Stare straight at where he was supposed to be sitting, and feel the hole he'd left in all of their hearts. It never subsided.

Sometimes she'd even catch herself talking aloud, words directed at her eldest son, only to come to the numbing realization that he wasn't there any more.

That he wouldn't hear her.

That she may never see him again.

It was hell for the first few months, and even for some years after. She'd find herself carrying out her little habits she'd adopted for the both of them consistently.

A reoccurring one would be walking into the room her sons once shared, with the intention of wishing them both goodnight, and only being able to wish one goodnight.

Jongin could tell, she knew he could tell. It was as if he was hyper-aware to everything related to his elder brother. The he was able to pin-point the exact second the realization dawned on her every time she'd enter the room. The exact minute the emptiness and pain hit.

He got angry at her sometimes, too. Flat out told her to go away and stop reminding him about his hyung, and the fact that he wasn't there any more. That he knew full well Jongdae had gone, that she should stop searching for him because it was redundant.

That he wasn't coming back. How he already knew this, really knew this, and didn't need any reminders. Why did she have to keep reminding him, wasn't it hard enough already?

Other times it was expressed through his body language, how he'd be turned away from her, blankets covering his small frame entirely, shutting himself out from the world.

She knew it was all because he was suffering too. Especially as a young child, who had relied on his elder brother--who'd admired his elder brother so much.

But it didn't make it hurt any less.

It was if she was losing two sons at once. The change she'd witnessed in her youngest son after his elder brother had disappeared was unbearable.

And as a mother, she felt ashamed that she couldn't do anything to prevent it.

Her hands began to shake.

She'd sworn the hallucinations had stopped. That though she'd never come to terms with it, nor the pain she felt about it, she didn't have to go through the torture of seeing him everywhere she went, only to turn around and realize that he'd gone.

That there was a heightening probability of him never coming back as the days piled up. And up.

Was it all happening again?

Would the suffering ever end?

She tried to keep her gaze steady on her youngest son, waiting for him to reply. To confirm that she'd lost it. That the hallucinations were returning.

At this point she knew she'd even prefer the confirmation of her elder son's death to the return of the hallucinations.

At least that way, she'd begin to receive closure at some point. She wouldn't have to spend every waking moment thinking about where he'd be right now. If he was still alive. If he'd ever come back. When that would be if it ever did take place. If he'd even remember them. If it was kidnap or out of his own freewill.

Most frankly, if she could've done something to prevent it.

She turned her attention back to her youngest son, hoping her shaking hands weren't visible. A strong front, that was all she needed, was it not? If she just found a way to pretend... to blank the hallucinations out... maybe not look at him.

She closed her eyes. That would work, wouldn't it?

"Mother," Jongin had said, a light element to his tone of voice she hadn't witnessed since Jongdae had gone missing.

Opening her eyes, she looked at Jongin. "Y-yes?"

"I know what you're thinking," he continued softly. "But this time, it's really not the case."

She froze, eyes wide, frantic. Having no idea what to do, how to respond.

Was this all a hallucination, too?

Had she really gone mad?

Jongin nodded, a soft smile playing at his lips as he glanced at Jongdae. As though he was nothing if not proud of his elder brother.

Jongdae's heart clenched at this. Younger Jongin had always looked up to his older brother, always wanted to impress him. He wondered if his Jongin was still the same. If he saw him as a competent brother, or if he saw him as useless. He'd always proclaimed that he considered all four of them--Yixing, Luhan, Jongdae and Jongin--as equals.

But Jongdae was Jongin's elder brother, and their case was allowed to be a little different. They were related, by blood. He didn't get to choose Jongdae, but he definitely got to choose and accept Yixing and Luhan into his life.

What if he actually preferred Yixing and Luhan over Jongdae? What if, underneath it all, he saw them as more competent. As better brothers.

What was Jongdae supposed to do?

Would he ever even find out, if that were to be the case?

"It really is Jongdae, mother. He came back to us. After all these years."

That was all it took for her to practically fall onto her knees, sobbing. Hands shaking, clearly unable to inhale sufficient oxygen. She edged closer, and it was a difficult process. Her hands were visibly shaking, making it difficult for her to pull herself forward in a crawl. Still, she managed to make it over to him. Her eldest son.

Jongdae himself couldn't keep his hands clenched any longer, and they fell to his side, shaking. He had to bite down so with so much pressure on his lip to hold the tears back that it began to bleed.

"Jongdae?" She whispered, glancing at him with the softest gaze he'd ever witnessed in all of his years. As if with one wrong move, he'd shatter, disappear forever. A look that clearly evidenced Jongin's earlier words. The look of a loving mother who'd been experiencing a living hell since losing their child to disappearance. "Darling, is that really you? You came back to us, for real?"

"I'm not dreaming?" She continued, eyes beginning to water again. A flood of tears making their way present. They didn't fall but they were close to falling. "I'm not making this up?"

She reached up and he flinched back instantly when her soft, warm fingers lightly touched the skin of his hand.

"I can't do this," Jongdae had said, his hands uncontrollably shaking. "This isn't--" He felt like his heart had physically been tore out of his chest and squeezed right in front of his eyes.

It was practically impossible for him to inhale, to exhale. His tears hadn't fallen yet, but they'd blurred his vision substantially.

"Jongdae..." His mother trailed off, clearly taken aback. Unable to understand. This was her son, he'd been missing for years, and now he was flinching away from her embrace?

Had something happened to him, was he alright?

Where was she to begin?

How was she to help him?

Were her fears coming true, after all?

Had he been hurt... did someone tamper with him?

Had he run away out of his freewill?

"You're not real," he croaked out, not even caring if his tears fell at this point. There was no way. It wasn't possible. It couldn't be real.

Why were they so realistic? Why was everything so life like? All three of them had been snatched away from him in an instant. Of course, he was holding onto the hope that Jongin was still alive, but his parents... how could he even pretend after...

"I think he hit his head," Jongin had said, frowning. But Jongdae couldn't focus. He couldn't concentrate. Jongin's voice sounded far away. "He couldn't believe it was me, he kept glancing at me as if I was... a mirage, practically."

A beat passed.

"I think we need to sit him down, personally." He wasn't even sure who said it. He had no idea what was happening, why it all had to be so painful.

Hadn't he suffered enough already?

Did this really have to happen right now?

Weren't the constant nightmares and constant paranoia enough?

Did witnessing his parents being slaughtered in front of his eyes and hearing their cries of pain, of torture, mean nothing?

Did it account for nothing?

Why was it a reoccurring thing? Why did They have to take Jongin from him, too? The sole reason he had left for existing. The one he had to protect, to fight for.

His younger brother. The one whose life and safety mattered more than anything else in the world. The one living family member he had left. The person he'd sacrifice anything and everything for, had it meant ensuring his safety.

And he'd failed, hadn't he?

They had won. They had taken everyone. He had nothing left. No reason to fight.

Without Jongin, what was the purpose of any of it?

Even if it was a dream, even if it wasn't... however he ended up here, he didn't care any more. They were more realistic than he'd ever dreamed. They were living, breathing. All in the same room. All at their current ages. Their should-be ages.

With a home.

A family.

His family.

Not broken, not slaughtered before his eyes. Not stolen.

_Living._

Breathing.

Existing.

Co-existing. All of them.

_Together._

This was everything he'd ever wanted. It wasn't too much to ask for, not in comparison to people who wanted riches and palaces. Ships. Countries. Etcetera, etcetera.

Maybe he was dying. MaybeThey had found him. Maybe he'd met all of them in a realm of the dead. Maybe this was the afterlife.

Rather than fight, what if he accepted his fate? If death meant he got his mother, father and brother back... all at once... what was he even fighting for? Perhaps the reasoning and the logic of it all--or lack, thereof--didn't matter after all.

If it was the only way to have that, then They could have him. He didn't care.

He'd finally be free from their torture. Their grip. Living in the constant paranoia, the struggle.

The pain would finally cease. It would stop. He'd get away from them. If giving into Them meant he got to keep all of his family, what was he continuing to fight for?

"Here," Jongin had said, navigating Jongdae over to the seat. "Sit down, hyung."

He did.

The second his limbs touched the seating area, his eyes closed on impact.

Almost instantaneously, he felt a sharp sense of clarity sprinkle down and wrap around his entire being. It was clear, crystal, as if he had insights to anything and everything. As though, every worry, every burden had instantly dissipated.

It was like nothing he'd ever felt before.

Was this what freedom felt like?

Was this what life away from constant paranoia and struggle for survival actually was?

A secure home with secure walls and family members he could genuinely rely on without having to feel guilty or as if it was his duty to be that family member, himself. Regardless of age and maturity.

As he exhaled a breath, it was as if he'd let go. After years of storm-like conditions, he'd finally allowed the sun to make its way forward and let it shine its rays on him. Encouraged it, even. Let it wrap him in a sheen and blanket of warmth.

Of protection.

They hadn't even opened their mouths yet, but he felt... he felt like he was home. He still couldn't even prove that they were real, that any of this was actually taking place, but the worries about that had also seemed to stop in their stead. Somehow.

Glancing up with a soft, contented smile on his face, he met the eyes of his mother. She seemed to be watching him in awe, eyes unmoving.

Drinking and getting familiar with his features as if he were to disappear at any given second. He could see the corks turning behind her eyes, almost.

She was checking what had changed, comparing and contrasting it to the image of the young boy she'd been raising.

Up until one day, she wasn't. And he disappeared. Just like that.

Never to return.

Not until many, many years later. None of it made a lick of sense, but all that mattered was that he was healthy, that he was alive.

That he'd chosen to return out of his own free will. That they were finally reunited.

She knew fully catching up would take many years, that getting him back into the rope of things may, too. But she was up for it. He was her son, and there was nothing that she wouldn't do for him. For either of them.

He heard shuffling to the side of him, and he turned his attention towards the sound. Jongin had edged closer, perching on the seat. His long legs went way over the end, but he made no move to brunch them up beside him, simply letting them fall off the edge. "Jongdae," he'd said, seeming to be happy to adopt the new way of referring to his brother. Jongdae missed the shadow that crossed on their father's face at this. But Jongin didn't. Jongin glanced up and met his father's eyes almost challengingly. "He prefers it."

His father quirked a condescending eyebrow. "Does he now." It wasn't intended to be a question, and his eyes didn't leave his youngest son's face.

Jongdae's eyes flitted between the two, finding it hard not to pick up on the apparent tension. He was trying very hard to recall how well they got on in his past--that clearly wasn't this past--but was having trouble. Why did it seem so far away?

As if noting that the elder was pushing his mind to do things it didn't appear to be capable of at that moment, Jongin leaned over to him, gently patting his hand.

It was clear the elder had been through a lot, and if he wasn't able to recall how he found his way to them, they shouldn't have to force it out of him. "Just relax, hyung." He made a note to glance at his father from his peripheral vision at this, suppressing the urge to scowl. "You're allowed to take it easy here. There's no time limit. So long as you're back, that's all that really matters."

Their father scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest, peering down at them, the look in his eyes harsh. "If either of you believe that, then I've evidently raised two fools."

Jongin pursed his lips, eye slightly twitching. He refrained from replying.

"W-why's that?" Jongdae had asked, hoping it wasn't coming on too strong. He knew he'd have to edge his way back into it process by process.

Their eye contact was short. "How sure can I be that you're my son? You've done nothing to evidence it thus far." He then turned to Jongin, tutting. "You're usually not so trusting, what happened this time around? You're that desperate to see and interact with your brother that you don't care if he turns out to be one of the creatures you hunt? Mistake number one, Jongin. You shouldn't have let him in so quickly."

Jongin kept his eyes downcast.

"Shame he's not acting the way you planned, or foresaw--seeing as you've always been naive enough to believe he'd come back for you--or whatever, eh? He's always been a hero in your mind hasn't he? Someone you never fail to look up to. The one whose lead you'll instantly take, opinions instantly taken on board, also. And he's not even coming to your defense. The reunion plans you always dreamed of must be crashing flat onto the ground right now. Beloved hyung doesn't want to help you out, oh the irony of it all."

Jongdae felt his eyes narrow against his will. What the hell was his father trying to get at, what was he trying to invoke?

"That," their father continued, and then it seemed as if the conversation took a different turn. Perhaps the reason for the tension. "Or your brother actually has his priorities set straight. Respect your elders. Don't interrupt, regardless of relationship. It's as difficult a lesson as you make it."

Jongdae could tell just by looking at his brother, how Jongin was physically holding back. Be it a sarcastic retort, be it a serious one.

"I didn't let him in," Jongin stated, after a minute or two of silence. "I  _found_  him. He evidently found his own way here, and it's clear he doesn't know how that took place. At least not yet, so rather than rush or force it out of him, why not let him sit down and give him some space?  He's overwhelmed, and it's going to take some time before his mind clears. Adding more stress or pressure and confusion onto his shoulders is only going to make it worse."

He stopped, biting on the inside of his cheek. "Having to respect you purely because you're older is a flawed system that we've just allowed into place, with no critique. If you can't accept me questioning you on certain aspects and can't accept the just criticisms I'm likely to give at times, then--" He stopped there, seeming frustrated that he had to say this much to begin with. 

"Then  _what?"_  Jongdae could've sworn his father had snarled this.

"You don't deserve to be in your position of authority," Jongin had said it quite curtly. Sounding detached. As though it held no personal conviction, that it just was. That their father would just have to accept it. 

The room seemed to drop in temperature.

Jongdae stay quiet, making sure to avoid eye contact. With either his brother or his father. It was hard to ignore the tension in the room, but it wasn't as if they expected him to join in on it, was it? If he'd supposedly been missing for so long, and left with a strong established relationship with both, he couldn't have exactly been forced to pick a side.

Or at least, he hoped as much.

"So if you'll excuse me," Jongin continued, with a look of what appeared to be contempt in his eyes. Thankfully Jongdae had never experienced the same look from his little brother. He really, genuinely hoped he'd never have to, either. So that at least added something to lessen his worry of the younger viewing him as an incompetent brother. "I'd like to talk with my brother. To find out what's really going on, without having to force it out of him with weapons or overwhelm him to the point where he can't even focus."

"Why do that," their father drawled. "When there's a high probability that he's not even Jongdae. You need to step back and evaluate the situation from the correct perspective, Jongin. Right now, you're acting like a child."

Jongin kept quiet, but didn't remove his eyes from his father's face. His eyes looked tired. Empty.

His father tapped his foot in an impatient manner on the floor. "I suppose it's understandable to some extent. Jongdae's your elder brother and he's been missing for years. You've missed him."

Jongin didn't deny this.

"You've missed him beyond comparison. You've more than likely faced every stage of denial, of anger. Sadness. Everything that comes with losing someone. Am I right, son?"

Jongin seemed to cringe back. Jongdae presumed it was either because their father had hit the nail on the head, or because of how their father referred to Jongin. "You're really going all out today, I suppose."

Their father chuckled. It wasn't exactly affirming, neither playful. "Well you are my son, son."

"I wasn't yesterday though, was I?" Jongin let out a sigh, sounding entirely exhausted. Distant. "You don't have to play the loving parent role with me just because Jongdae's returned. I'm sure he already knows that things can't have stayed the way he left them, forever. That sometimes things go wrong. Relationships can't always be salvaged."

Ignoring this, their father continued, "Perhaps you foolishly let this viable possibility slip your mind because you missed him that much. So much so, you'd be willing to let in an imposter--even if said imposter is a creature you've been trained to hunt for many years--so long as he keeps the convincing act up. Have you even taken into account that the real Jongdae could be out there somewhere, in desperate need of help and assistance? My actual son. I won't settle for anything less, Jongin. I thought I'd raised you the same way."

For some reason Jongin's earlier words rang through Jongdae's mind.  _Funny you should say that._  Jongdae kept his gaze on the ground, but the words rang loud and clear.  _Ironic, too._

All of that made him feel so much more confused than what he'd started with. Nothing was being cleared up, he had no idea where he was. How he'd gotten there. Why it was so hard to recall anything that led up to his being there. Everything was so fuzzy. So distant.

His father's arms were crossed, sternly placed against his chest. "And now you're not replying. Rich." His father seemed to glance at Jongin with a look of sheer disappointment. "Well, I'll just say that when it turns out you let a monster inside and have successfully fallen straight into its trap, you'll realize you should've listened to me."

Jongin rolled his eyes, seeming to not even see this as a potential outcome.

Did that mean Jongin had a whole lot of faith in him?

That the younger could instantly tell he really was Jongdae, or was their father right? Had Jongin merely missed Jongdae that much he'd be willing to accept even an imposter?

"Or it turns out he genuinely _is_  Jongdae, which it will," Jongin said confidently.

"What are the odds of that?"

"Nine out of ten," Jongin said, just as confidently. "I won't deny there's a marginal possibility that I could be wrong, but I'm very sure that he's my brother. Perhaps you would be too, if you actually had've paid any attention to him prior to his disappearance."

Their father's face was stony. "What are you trying to say?"

Jongin shrugged indifferently. "It's pretty simple to comprehend, is it not?"

"Are you trying to tell me I don't know my son?"

"I'm just saying that I know him miles better than you do, and if you try and deny that, you'll be wrong. You weren't with him every single day of his life up until his disappearance, you didn't sleep in the same room as him for the majority of his life. You may be his father, but I'm his brother. He's always going to tell me things he may be afraid to tell you. Yes, you had two years more with him than I did, but, other than that... there's no contest. It's what comes after those two years that counts primarily, and with our situation, apparently that meant that you couldn't be around him that often."

Jongdae watched on, taken aback. It was like witnessing how he, himself, would react to something. He'd swore he'd had conversations along a similar line with Yixing and Luhan at points in their lives. It was an interesting instance to witness with his younger brother, especially since Jongdae wasn't expecting the younger to make it seem that even the thought of someone else knowing his brother better than he did, was insulting.

It seemed that both of the brothers were touchy about being the person to know the other best.

When Jongdae took the time to glance back at his father, he noticed that there was a menacing gleam in his eyes. As if daring Jongin to continue. He looked like he wanted to hit the younger, actually.

The thought made Jongdae cringe. He was halfway contemplating on telling the younger to stop speaking or to stand in front of him and take the brunt of the situation himself.

But he was terrified of intruding. Of making a bad impression.

After being missing so long, or as they kept referencing.

"You don't know his quirks or his little habits like I do. You haven't witnessed his thought process and view of the world to the extent that I have. You're aware of his intellectual capabilities, you have a fair guess of his practical abilities... but I can bet that you can't even name one defining personality trait of your elder son. Feel free to prove me wrong."

Their father didn't miss a beat. "He's irresponsible."

The air seemed to thicken.

Jongdae felt himself wince. Was that seriously the first thing to come to mind, from his father of all people?--He'd have understood if their father had been asked to name a few defining traits... but just the one... was that really what stood out most to their father? Plus, it wasn't as if his father didn't have a couple of flaws here and there, also.

"We all have flaws," Jongin said tersely. "It's interesting to note that when asked to name one personality trait of your sons, you instantly decide to start rhyming off flaws. Says a lot, honestly."

Their father kept silent, eyes narrowed.

Jongdae blinked. Hadn't he just thought an eerily similar thing to what Jongin brought up?

Were they that easily on the same page?

Jongdae then allowed himself time to think about what his father had said. Irresponsible was a big word, a heavy word. And in his position--as the one that had been Jongin's primary caregiver since their parents' death--quite accusing, also. And dare he say,  _wrong._

Jongdae had been the one who placed Jongin's safety above all else after the events of that night had taken place.

Jongdae had been the one to make sure they got out as soon as physically possible. He was the one to relocate them, to get them as far from the village as he was capable, even without knowing the routes off by heart.

Even at the mere age of nine.

Was that irresponsible?

Really?

Jongdae didn't think so.

"Also," Jongin continued. "I disagree."

Jongdae felt his tense shoulders relax. Jongin genuinely appeared to have a lot of confidence in Jongdae, and he was definitely going out of his way to defend him at this moment. It was also reassuring to know that Jongin didn't consider 'irresponsible' to be the first defining trait of his elder brother.

He then felt that odd twinge from before return. Perhaps they really were that easily able to find themselves on the same page...

Their father kept a stoic expression on his face, but there was an indication that he was waiting for Jongin to elaborate.

Which Jongin did. "See, if it hasn't been obvious enough already, there's something I know about Jongdae that you currently do not."

"What is that, then?"

"Will you be willing to listen without calling it absurd and act as if it's an impossible occurrence?"

"Depends on what it is," their father replied. "Whether it's the same nonsense you're usually sprouting or not. Because that is absurd. And impossible. I'll never believe you on that."

"You hunt undead creatures for a living. Many others would deem that impossible. Of all people, you should be willing to listen to what I'm saying."

"There're monsters and then there's the level of insanity you believe is possible."

Jongin looked as if he wanted to roll his eyes. But managed to refrain.

"He thinks it's possible to end up in a different dimension. To go back to the past. Or enter the future. It's insane. I bet he believes the earth isn't flat, as well. That he'd be able to sail around it and not fall off. Do I even need words for how absurd that is?"

"It's not absurd at all. And honestly, I do."

Their father then scoffed. "There you go. Did you know that for years after your disappearance, he genuinely believed that you hadn't just disappeared but that you'd fallen into a what was it again..." There was a condescending expression painting the features of their father as he looked at Jongin. "Care to enlighten us?"

Jongin had never liked being mocked. Jongdae watched the flicker of annoyance appear behind his younger brother's eyes. "A void," he said clearly. "I believe you fell into a void, hyung. Perhaps you entered another dimension.   
  Lived life as a different person for a number of years, or as a you from elsewhere. I'm still unsure of what could've happened to the you of that dimension though, where it was he went for you to so confidently believe that it was your natural life. That this isn't. However, your confusion in coming back definitely seems to back my original theory up. The fact that you thought our parents had died, too. How you were so surprised to see me."

A mocking bout of laughter was heard. Jongdae turned to face their father. "He's hilarious, isn't he?"

"I think--" Jongdae began.

"Boy," their father interrupted. "That's the thing. You  _don't_  think. You never have."

Jongdae blinked, taken aback.

"Why else would you run away? Leave your younger brother by himself at a point in his life where he needed to rely on you most?"

Jongin scoffed incredulously, turning to his father. "Like you haven't done the same? Dare I remind you who looked after me when you and mother went off to hunt and Jongdae was missing?" He didn't wait for a reply. "Exactly. Myself. At seven years of age."

"With the training you'd had, you'd have been able to defend yourself, were something to happen."

"Intellectually, sure. I could have tricked an enemy and found an escape point. But physical combat? No way. At least not until the day Jongdae disappeared and I was flung straight into it all, and had to make up his part, too. Anything else was unsatisfactory, wasn't it?"

Jongdae winced. It sounded as if Jongin had been raised as a machine.

"Um," their mother began meekly. Jongdae jumped at the sound, realizing she'd been as quiet as mouse up until this moment. She then took a shaky breath, turning to Jongin. Perching beside him. "Perhaps it's something else entirely? I don't mean to offend you Jongin, please don't take this as an accusation, either. Only what I believe is most fitting given our circumstances up until this point..."

Jongin nodded, as if urging her to get to the point. "What is it?" He asked.

She chewed on her lip nervously. "Did you... make a deal with the devil, darling?"

Jongin wore the blankest expression Jongdae had ever witnessed. The most confused, too.  _"What?"_

"I can understand why you wouldn't want to tell us," she continued. "I know your father and myself are always speaking fondly of God, how throughout this entire ordeal, you witnessed us praying. Asking for a miracle. It's understandable, really. Jongdae is your elder brother and if there's anyone you can't live without, it's him. Praying for a miracle simply isn't enough for you. You'd do anything to get your brother back, I know that. Even if it means going as far as to make a deal with the devil. The devil is good at appearing when one is most vulnerable."

"What are you..." Jongin's eyebrows furrowed. "What?"

Jongdae was also as confused as ever.

Their father looked Jongin directly in the eye. "You're unwilling to accept the fact that the only plausible outcome that is left, after being missing this entire time, is your brother being dead." Stopping there to catch a breath.

Jongin let out a dry, incredulous laugh. _"Dead?_  He's literally standing before your very eyes."

Their father kept his stoic expression on. "So you made a deal with the devil to bring him back. And here he is. She'd voiced such a worry to me once before, with how you'd been going on, but I believed to be as absurd as the nonsense you sprout. Until now."

Jongin opened his mouth to speak once more, but was then interrupted by his mother's voice.

"No one wants to believe Jongdae is dead, Jonginnie. I, as, his mother, especially don't." She let out a soft breath. "Nothing hurts more. But at this point... with our circumstance... what else is there left to think?" She kept her eyes downcast, as if afraid to look anyone in the eye.

"I'm so lost," Jongdae then said, glancing at all the inhabitants in the room as though they'd all sprouted three heads. "Why does everything feel as if it's shifted? Jongin... you... earlier. You acted like I'd hit my head, like none of this was possible? Now you're bringing up different dimensions and me being a different me and living a different life?--You're the only one who'll believe that I'm from a different place?"

Jongin nodded. "It would've been slightly overwhelming for me to lay my actual belief of what has happened within three seconds of interacting with you, would it not, hyung?"

Jongdae nodded, at least that made sense. "Right, yes. Right. You're right." He then turned towards their mother, pain still twinging within him when taking in her form. She was really there, right? It wasn't an illusion? "And then... mother, you... fell to your knees, you cried. You couldn't believe your eyes... your miracle had been cast. But now... it's as if that's impossible to you? Like I can't be here naturally? Why?"

"As much as I've prayed for you to return to me since you went missing, you never came back. My prayers weren't answered. As far as we searched, we couldn't find you." His mother seemed to sniffle, but didn't appear to want to make it to obvious. "At this point, even the knowledge of your death would bring me the closure I am seeking."

"Or," Jongin stated, eyes narrowing at his father. "Living in this household as long as she has, I'd say she's afraid of expressing her real opinions any more. She's not allowed her own thoughts, hyung. Apparently none of us are in this household. Everything is decided by father. Everything father says, goes. Everything father believes, we must, too. You saw what happens when a person has a differing opinion, didn't you?"

Jongdae felt the strongest urge to reach over to his younger brother and wrap him in his arms, to promise him that he'd protect him. That he'd be there for him. Just like he always had.

Maybe not in this paralleled setting, this place he'd ended up. But home... he'd always been there for Jongin. He always would be there for Jongin.

As much as he wanted to see his parents, as much as his greatest wish of seeing them alive meant to him... this was... not what he'd imagined.

He then turned to his father, a little taken aback at the lack of admiration within him when he looked up at the man. When he was younger he wanted to be just like his father, but when watching him interact with Jongin, it left a sour taste in his mouth. "At least you're consistent with all of this," Jongdae had said, nodding curtly at their father. "You don't think it's possible that I'm here, and your initial reaction pointed in that direction, also."

Their father didn't reply, simply just watched Jongdae.

His mother then cleared her throat, now looking pained. "Jongin shouldn't have to make a deal with the devil to bring you back, Jongdae. I understand that he's hurting, that adjusting to life without you is difficult, believe me, I do. But one should never play around with life and death. As much as it hurts to know your time was so early, that is the way it must be. I love you beyond comparison, I really do, but it is unnatural to bring you back. Why do you think it comes at such a strong price?" She took a breath. "Jongin sold his soul to bring you back, now he, too, is tainted. He, too, must die. What was brought back, how can I ever be sure it is one hundred percent you? This way am I not only losing both my sons? That is unbearable."

"Aish," Jongin muttered, an incredulous tone to his words. "Where is all of this even coming from? I didn't sell my soul!"

"Then how he is he back?" Their father hissed, teeth gritted.

"I already told you how," Jongin said plainly. "He found his way back from this alternate dimension he ended up in all those years ago."

"Jonginnie..." Their mother trailed off. "You do not have to lie to us. We have known for a long time that you are not as religious as we are. It is disappointing, but not something we would disown you for."

Jongin rolled his eyes.

"It makes sense, even. God could not answer our prayers, he could not bring your brother back. In your haze, you turned to sin. You made a deal with the devil. And yes, it brought Jongdae back, but what has been brought back cannot be your brother. Not one-hundred percent."

His father then nodded. "We need to find a reversal to save you before your time comes to an end, and dispose of this imposter of your brother." Their father edged closer. "I could dispose of him quickly, almost painlessly." The man then reached his hand out, intending to grab hold of Jongdae.

Jongdae felt himself squeeze his eyes closed. His father's methods were always beyond precise, and of all things, he'd never thought he'd be on the receiving end of that.

But it was thwarted before the impact even happened. By Jongin. His eyes were stony, and he'd expertly blocked their father from laying his hands on Jongdae. "Lay a finger on him and _I'll_ kill _you."_

His mother gasped audibly, seeming both appalled and terrified at what was currently taking place.

"It includes you too," he said seriously. "I will not let you kill your own son." Jongin's eyes seemed to flash. "Not ever."

"What you have brought back," she continued. "It is not your true brother."

Jongin let out an exasperated sigh, looking as though he wanted to bang his head against the nearest wall repeatedly. Maybe he needed a different approach?

Nodding as if to assure himself, he turned to his mother. "How many years did you raise him?"

"Nine," his mother replied, sounding pained. She glanced back at Jongdae, noting how much he'd grown. Counting in her head how many years he'd been without her care.

"Plus how long you carried him," Jongin added, hoping it'd hit some maternal instinct within her. "Mother, I shouldn't have to say this, but I will. You're Jongdae's mother. The bond you share with him--the bond a mother shares with her child--it is unlike any other. No one else on the planet is able to relate to the pain you went through to bring Kim Jongdae into this world, the joy, of course.   
  But you literally contorted yourself to bring him into this world. Carried him for those long months. Worried more about his health and survival than your very own. Clothed and fed him, allowed him to rely solely on you. With father, you gave all you could to raise him and ensure that he grew up into a developed, healthy and competent individual.   
  Sure it got cut short for some number of years, but that does not matter all that much in the long run. Not now that he's back. Think of it this way, he has willingly returned to us. He _wants_ to be back. He found his way back to us."

Jongin took a breath. "Are you willingly going to take the life that you gave him, away from him, too?"

His mother came to a halt. "Jongin, I..."

"Forget what father wants. Forget what you've been told. Forget the seemingly impossible, or yet, the improbable. Mother," his voice was light, reassuring. "What is it that you want?"

Her eyes were teary. She opened her mouth, exhaled a shaky breath and closed it once more.

The look in Jongin's eyes was nothing if not earnest. "Tell me," he encouraged.

"I..." She chewed at her lip. "I want both of my sons back. Alive and well." A sniffle was heard. "I want us to be a family once more. That is all."

"And you can have that," Jongin insisted, directing her attention back to Jongdae, who was sitting still on the furniture, eyes sincere, pleading, almost. "He came back to us. Naturally. I didn't sell my soul, mother. I assure you."

His mother's lip trembled, looking as if it was taking everything in her not to scoop her eldest son into her arms and cradle him tightly against her chest. Like she had when he was a newborn.

Jongin then reached over and took her hand in his, an act of reassurance, not breaking eye contact. "Do you believe me?"

Their mother was quiet for a few seconds. She then nodded, teary eyed. And for the first time since encountering them and whatever this place happened to be, Jongdae felt a sense of ease wash over him.

As if everything was finally falling into place.

Jongin turned back to him at that second, as if on the same page.

Jongdae blinked at the blinding smile the younger sent him.

When was the last time he'd seen his younger brother smile so genuinely? It had to have been weeks, perhaps even months.

A clearing of a throat was then heard and he turned his attention back to his father, who stood tall. Edging closer with the same look as before in his eyes. The distrust, the uncertainty. He swore he saw a flicker of something else there too, but it was fleeting. Gone within a second.  
  
Jongdae wasn't even sure how to define it. Longing, perhaps?--Was his father wavering in his beliefs too?

Jongin seemed to take a defensive stance with their father still, which was understandable considering that the man had just been ready to 'dispose' of Jongdae.

"Back away," Jongin had said firmly. "I won't say it again."

But the transition seemed off to Jongdae. Slightly unnatural, in terms of what he knew of Jongin. Jongin been so cooperative with their mother, so reassuring, making sure to hit her where it was effective. To reason with her. In the way she was longing.

He was probably doing the same with their father in their father's own way of working, sure. But that wasn't what felt off to Jongdae.

Of course different people required different methods of reasoning, of convincing. But the transition between the two... it was so fluid. Like a flick of a switch.

How was Jongin so easily able to flip between being gentle and reassuring, earnest, to direct and standoffish, ready to fight--if need be.

The Jongin he was used to, there'd at least be an awkwardness behind it. It wouldn't be half as smooth. Jongdae would be able to tell which traits were more natural for his brother and which made him feel uncomfortable and out of place.

The traits he was less sure of, too.

With this Jongin, he had no idea. And it was nothing if not unsettling.

"You'd have to kill me before you kill Jongdae, father." The empty look in Jongin's eyes seemed to hint towards him not being all that surprised if it were to take place. That, if the situation called for it, their father would be willing to sacrifice both his sons for his job.

Jongdae winced.

"Jongin..." their father then trailed off, as if now hoping to convince Jongin. "What God intended--"

Jongin scoffed visibly at this, rolling his eyes. "Honestly," he said. "I don't give a shit what God intended. I don't see how God has any part in any of this to begin with, but whatever." He cast a glance at their mother, seeming to soften his tone somewhat. "If you need it to believe it, see it as the miracle you've been pining for this entire time."

He then looked back at Jongdae, an emotion behind his eyes that Jongdae had trouble deciphering. "Jongdae's back. It is Jongdae. I know my brother. I would know an imposter the second I encountered one. That," he pointed to Jongdae. "Genuinely _is_ Jongdae." Jongin then turned to face their father. "You want evidence he's your son?" His gaze was steady. "You'll get it. Just tell me what it is you're seeking as proof." 

Their father stay quiet.

"Evidence through the recollection of memories? Minute for minute details of what he can remember prior to his disappearance and after?" Jongin paused. "Physical evidence he's human?"

Their father contemplated it for a few seconds, before nodding. "They should suffice." Their father then turned to Jongdae as if looking at him for the first time. "Are you willing to do that?" He paused as if wanting to continue, but then stopped short, shaking his thoughts away.

Jongdae knew what that was. He knew that his father would've addressed him as 'son' in any other circumstance, but didn't prepare himself to hear it this time around. Their father hadn't yet accepted the possibility of him returning, nor had he even proven for himself that Jongdae was in fact, Jongdae, and not some imposter.

Jongdae nodded, trying to calm his nerves down and present himself as a responsible son. The kind their father would be proud to call his own.

"Of course," he said, sounding curt to his own ears.

"Don't worry if some of the stuff is hazy and disjointed, hyung. We're--" He cast a sideways glance at their father and paused. "Or _I'm_  not expecting you to remember every tiny detail. Nor recite it perfectly. Just tell us what you can remember prior to getting in the house and where it is you've been since you've been missing. If you're able. If not, we'll have to resort to the proof of human identity method solely."

"Um," Jongdae began, feeling small at all the probing gazes locked upon his features. He knew they were his family, but for a second there, he could've swore they looked more like hungry vultures, minutes away from swooping down and pecking at his flesh. "I--"

"Take your time," Jongin insisted.

Jongdae nodded, then cast a glance at the other three inhabitants of the house. "C-can you, um... would it be...okay if you all sat down, or something? I'm just--aish." Would he sound like a spoiled child requesting this, had he already messed up?

Jongin nodded, directing his attention to their parents. "Us hovering over him is making him nervous, so we should sit down." That seemed to be directed at his mother, who nodded instantly. Perching beside Jongdae, but leaving some amount of space. Jongin cast a long glance at their father. "He'll be a lot more cooperative that way, too."

Their father let out a sigh, but reluctantly followed along. Making sure to sit the furthest amount of distance away from Jongdae.

Jongin seemed to be contemplating his positioning. Were he to sit beside his father, in case of blocking an attack? Or would it be better to be beside Jongdae if such an instance were to occur?

Their mother was to Jongdae's right. Jongin could easily place himself between their father--who was positioned furthest to the left--and find a way to be between them both. Being on Jongdae's nearest left.

He did so. Then turned to face his elder brother. "Start when you feel comfortable."

Jongdae nodded, gladly noting his parents and Jongin weren't watching him like hawks any more, just simply staring ahead, waiting. Jongin would glance back every so often, as if to encourage Jongdae.

"I," he began. "I'm not sure if any of this will make sense, I don't think it does to me, either... but I'll try."

He took a breath, chewing at his lip. "From where I'm from..."

Jongin glanced at him, something in his eyes telling Jongdae to alter his words.

Jongdae coughed, but nodded. Could it be the difference between life and death?  _Funny you should say that_ , he heard tinker in the back of his mind once more.  _Ironic, too._

Jongdae shivered, shaking it off. Honestly, would any of this begin to make any sense to him? "O-or where I ended up... it was just Jongin and I." His allowed his eyes to linger on his parents, drinking every feature on their faces. As if memorizing them.

Their mother blinked, seeming perplexed. "As in, we'd switched positions? Jongin and yourself were left and we'd disappeared together, leaving you two on your own?" She seemed appalled by this finding. "How irresponsible."

Jongdae tried not to wince at the use of said word. Their mother must've thought the exact same thing of him that their dad did, just more covertly.

As if noticing that it was making him uncomfortable, she turned straight to him. Eyes wide and earnest. "Of  _us_ , Jongdae. In  _our_  position. As your  _parents."_

"R-right." Jongdae chuckled awkwardly. "Of course."

"W-what you did... here, with us..."

 _Did._  Shouldn't it have been  _what_   _happened,_  Jongdae had thought. _Isn't that just reiterating that you think it's my fault, just in a different way?_  For some reason he felt something sour stir within him, which he didn't understand at all. Why was he feeling so offended of a discussion of an event he couldn't even recall taking place?

As if on the same page, Jongin turned to face him, eyebrows furrowed. Jongdae was the first to look away.

Something in Jongin's expression was off-putting. As though it was genuinely emphasizing that things weren't anything like they used to be. Anything like he remembered.

He thought back to what his younger brother had said earlier in that his mother's way of thinking was entirely influenced by their father and that she had trouble expressing her own thoughts any longer. Was it true?

Their mother seemed to shiver. Tightening the clasp of her coat, as if it would protect her. From what, Jongdae had no idea. The invasion of the memory, perhaps. Or was it the literal cold? "We can't blame you for that, nor would we, darling."

"How sure can you be that I consciously decided to disappear?" Even if he had no idea what really took place for him to disappear in this reality, he wasn't going to sit back and have things decided for him.

From what he could recall about disappearances the main was that Jongin had gone missing in his reality, and rather than instantly doubt that the younger had run away out of free will--maybe to the point of irrationality--Jongdae believed not so. In the possibility of him being kidnapped.

Irrational or not, it turned out to be right. What if in this reality they'd just switched places?

Plus, perhaps it did have a little to do with the fact that this clearly was a different reality and he'd be damned to have been the one to allow all the blame to be pushed onto his younger versions' small shoulders. Just like in his reality and the guilt and shame he placed upon himself willingly at the loss of their parents.

The fact that he hadn't taken the books with him, the fact that Jongin didn't have a house to live in, the fact that he didn't fight back with the attackers on that dreadful night all those years ago.

In his mind, that linked to him having being involved with the outcome, at least he'd believed so for many, many years. Maybe even still.

But if this reality, they were still alive, he could change things. Alter them. Make it so that they didn't have to live with the shame and guilt of losing them. Without having to feel like they were directly involved.

And then a chance at keeping Jongin within close vicinity, of altering that all too recent disappearance of his brother. "What if I was taken by force? What if I got lost? How sure are you both that I chose to disappear myself?"

"We're not sure at all," their father said honestly. "Not until you tell us what really went on that day, that is." His father was quiet for a second, and for that second Jongdae could've swore he saw a glimpse of the man he knew. The man he remembered. "If you're able."

Jongin seemed to twitch at this. It was a minuscule occurrence, but Jongdae found himself picking up on it. "How about we let him finish, first? Let's not sway off the topic. After all, you're the ones who need the proof that he's actually Jongdae, don't you?"

Their parents blinked.

"This way we get to find out for definite what he can remember, right? Rather than forcing him to think about his evidently hazy and hard to recollect memories as a nine year old. Honestly to get to the beginning, sometimes you need to start at the end. And then back trace. I think that's a case of what's going to go on here, too."

They processed this for a minute then nodded simultaneously.

Something weird made itself present within Jongdae at this instance, it was a nagging feeling, hard to ignore. He had no idea how to define it or even where to start with it, just that it was there. And reoccurring.

Throughout.

The weird feeling lessened in the next moment when Jongin sent him a bright, genuine smile. Like all was finally good in the world.

The smile of a brother who'd hoped and searched so far for the return of his elder brother.

One who had never given up, no matter how difficult things had become. One who believed, first and foremost, in said brother.

One who was willing to stand against his parents for, if it meant ensuring said brother's survival. "I think they're coming to an agreement, hyung," he whispered. "I think we're getting through to them."

Jongdae spare a smile at the younger before turning to face his mother. "Okay," he said. "From where I ended up... or where I recall being before getting back here... neither of you survived."

His parents mirrored each other's expression. A flicker of disbelief. An anger to their father's eyes, a confusion to their mother's.

He knew what that meant.

Their father's next words only reiterating it.

"Together?" He asked.

Jongdae nodded.

Their father was angry at himself for not being able to protect his wife, for not finding a way to make sure she got out of it alive. To make sure they all did.

His mother took a deep breath, eyebrows furrowing. "How did we...?"

Jongdae found himself glancing at his palms, unable to meet their eyes. "You were tailed down and brutally slaughtered in the late hours of the night." He took a breath. "In front of Jongin and I."

The color drained from their mother's face and Jongdae could tell their father was trying his hardest to keep up his unreadable expression.

Rather than gasp or have his face drain of color, he turned to face Jongdae directly. "Which enemy?" He seemed to be thinking it through in his mind. "One we could identify?" He paused. "Something we haven't encountered before?"

"Uh..." Jongdae kept his eyes downcast, willing the anger and pain away. Willing it not to show through. "I don't know what they are, or who, they're experts at hiding and disguising themselves. From what I've gathered however, they're an organization. Presumably highly trained and extremely dangerous. I know for sure there's more than one. I know their token; a sign that they've paid a visit."

"What is it?" Their father asked.

Jongdae didn't miss a beat. "A pocketwatch."

Their father nodded, processing this. A furrow to his eyebrows.

"We've..." He stopped, turning to face Jongdae directly. "At least here, we have no ties to a pocketwatch. We have no reason for an enemy to leave a pocketwatch beside our dead bodies, nor leave it as a sign. Or warning."

Jongdae blinked, feeling a chill reverberate through him. "Wait a minute," he said, slightly shuffling away. "If it hasn't happened in this..."

"Dimension," Jongin said lowly.

"Dimension," Jongdae altered. "If what happened to you both hasn't taken place here... how come it seems as though you're aware that it was premeditated? And then with the 'at least here' would only suggest that... elsewhere... and knowledge of elsewhere would mean..."

Their father blinked, genuine confusion flashing through him. "Hm?"

Using this time to take a glance back at Jongin, Jongdae noted the look in the younger's eyes. Though he was portraying confusion, just like Jongdae had, there was a harsh look in his eyes. As though he was glaring, but not physically. Sending a warning, but not verbally. "Yes, father," he said, adopting a decidedly sarcastic tone. "Explain how you know it's premeditated."

Their father glanced between the both of them, feeling as if he was missing out on a key element of the conversation. Entirely taken aback.

"Logically," Jongdae said, sounding weary to his own ears. "I could understand the presumption that..." He stopped. Why was recalling memories so difficult? Why was staying on track all of a sudden so difficult? What was happening to him? He felt like his mind was clouded over, like he had little control of it. "That--" Suddenly, it seemed to clear up somewhat. To flow effortlessly. Jongdae blinked, confused. And slightly suspicious. "There'd be an enemy after you. Perhaps on personal basis, with a vendetta. But to reference here, as though you know there's somewhere else that I came from after so vehemently denying the possibility is... odd. If you've accepted that there's more than just here, I guess that would make it make sense. But I'm not sure if you have. And somehow, I feel like..."

He snapped his head towards Jongin, who sent him a reassuring smile.

"Like what?" Their father asked, eyes seeming to cloud with worry.

"Like you're hiding something. Like you know something I don't."

"Exactly. I think he knows more than he's letting on." Jongin blinked at his elder brother. "I got the exact same vibe myself." Jongin's smile was condescending still, bordering on devious.

Which made absolutely no sense to Jongdae.

Jongdae found himself furrowing his eyebrows at his younger brother.   
  
"What are you hiding, father?" Jongin asked. "What aren't you telling us?"

"I think I know what it is," Jongdae said, taking a deep breath. "I think he knows what it is I'm going to say, too."

Their father kept quiet, waiting. Looking evidently nervous and unsure.

Jongin titled his head to face Jongdae, also. Gaze honed in on him.

Jongdae took another deep breath. "Somehow, as impossible or improbable as it may seem, through the verbal confirmation of what happened that night, father..." He stopped, chewing on the inside of his cheek. How was he to word this so it made sense? "He... even if in this dimension hadn't been through the same event, can recall details from that night, perhaps? He has a recollection of a memory his alternate--if that's correct?--self witnessed."

Their father blinked. "As crazy as it sounds," he said. "I think you may be right. I wasn't there and it can't have been me since I'm still here but since you mentioned it I... I feel I can relate? It is the most peculiar instance."

Jongin shuffled in his seat. Eyes trained on the soles of his shoes. He let out a quiet chuckle. Which in Jongdae's opinion, held a nervous element to it. "Hyung," he said. "I realize I was the one to bring up the dimension topic, but..."

"But what, Jongin?"

"Why are you trusting him so easily, especially after all he's said thus far?"

Jongdae held eye contact with Jongin. "There's been a shift in him, I think."

Jongin let out a surprised scoff, looking taken aback. "What?"

"Before, with the way he was acting... I. With what little memory I can recall of my father, he was much different than that. I understand it's a different dimension and a different situation entirely, but... I never imagined that he..."

Jongin seemed to sigh at this. "Jongdae," he said, eyes saddening. "I understand where you're coming from. I know you always admired father. But that definitely is your father, definitely is what your father would turn out to be, had he still lived."

"No," Jongdae insisted, shaking his head vehemently. "I admit he was always a little forward and demanding with us, and always wanted the best results. But he wasn't..."

"Wasn't  _what,_  Jongdae?"

Jongdae gulped, keeping his gaze elsewhere. The thought had been popping up to him since arriving but he didn't want to verbalize it.

He didn't want to think of his father that way. He didn't want to imagine what it was he'd put Jongin through when Jongdae wasn't around to see. "Abusive." The word was unfamiliar to Jongdae, and in this context, left a sour taste in his mouth.

Hopefully he'd just been looking too far into it and Jongin was going to turn around and tell him he was way off the margin.

However, that wasn't the case. There was a slightly stunned look in the younger's eyes, his body language indicating that Jongdae had hit the nail on the head. He looked tense, as if he'd been thrown into unfamiliar territory and forced to face his greatest fear head on.

Jongdae blinked. In his dimension that was blood. What was it here?   
He shivered. Was it their father?

Jongin's voice was smaller than before, "so you can see what's going on underneath everything. Even without me having to say." The stunned expression didn't leave his eyes. "You must really know me, Jongdae hyung."

"Yes," Jongdae said, but found himself slightly shuffling away. "But I still stand to what I said before. Or hinted at."

Jongin seemed to shiver. "Which was?"

"That there's something _off_  about this place. About this entire set up." He turned to face their father, who seemed to be watching, but not hearing. Their mother was in a similar state. "They can't hear us right now, can they?"

Jongin sent Jongdae an impressed glance. "Well, I suppose you really do catch on fast, hyung."

 

"I feel like I'm going to mess up," Lilian confessed, staring at the blocks in contemplation. "Or that it's actually going to turn out to be even more devious than I previously anticipated. Like when I step on the purple block it'll actually turn out to be the yellow one in disguise and I'll fall to the land of doom or whatever."

'Do not even entertain such a thought,' Daehyun said. 'Do not put yourself in that position, Lilian. What T never fails to emphasize is that when in voids, the more one thinks about a thought, the more they believe in it, the more likely it is to appear as such. To become a reality.'

Lilian cringed. "That's horrible. Why is that even a thing?"

'If you believe that the purple block is actually disguising itself as yellow when you step on it, and really convince yourself as such, it will become a reality. You will fall through. What we should do right now is take it at face value, take it as it is. We need not complicate this place any further. We have identified that yellow is our trick block and that the void is aware you belong to my alignment. The void has figured out this information in your short staying. It is capable of much, much more. Purple is the block you need to finish on. Think that, believe that. It is our reality.'

"But in the same sense," Lilian began. "If speaking about altering in the void actually does lead to alteration, does that mean that because I believed the yellow block is our trick block, it became that way? Perhaps it wasn't originally intended to be that way and we're perhaps in luck? Maybe the void doesn't know I'm under your alignment, after all?"

'No,' Daehyun confirmed. 'I understand where it is you are coming from but the patterns and codes are predetermined. Once one steps into the void, they are set in stone. Once solved, they are solved. But one must also take into account that the void is listening. Be it through speech, be it through thoughts. It can hear you. The void itself is a dark, dangerously devious place. It is likely that it does not even want you here, that it will try anything to throw you off and dispose of you. You are not dead, Lilian. So right now you are a threat to the void. And in the opposite sense, to the creatures of the void, you are of highest value. If they sense you, they are likely to tail you. To latch on to you.'

"I don't like this place," Lilian mumbled, shivering.

'I told you that you would not.'

"I thought it'd be really interesting and intriguing but this is just... it's cold and terrifying." She sighed. "I kind of really wanted to encounter one of the creatures still, however."

Daehyun only sighed. 'You will regret saying that in the instance you do encounter one, Lilian.'

"Also I'm not trying to make this a reality by thinking it or anything, which if it's untrue, feel free to tell me I'm completely off the margin, but I also feel like there's another underlying reason as to why you let me come here."

'In what sense, Lilian?'

"I don't know for sure, but I feel like... there's something else to it all. Before, you were completely against me being the one to enter the void. For the sheer fact that I'm human and you're not. How it can harm me beyond comparison. How you hold this sense of responsibility and--" She stopped.

'And?'

She contemplated it for a second. "Pride. Pride, I think. Responsibility and pride. You feel responsible for me and for pride, I feel that you're also... can I say... ashamed? Ashamed that it had to come to this. Not that you're ashamed of me, I know it's not that, but... in your mind, as the non human who has had prior experience and even training in this kind of thing it's upsetting that there was an obstacle stopping you from bringing Chen back yourself. That you as the... the..."

'Mentor.'

"--Mentor, has to rely on the... student?"

It was as if she could hear Daehyun's smile. 'Correct.'

"So for that reason, I feel like there's an underlying reason. You were highly against the concept of letting me go alone and from what I believe I've learned about you since accepting the bond is that you don't do things without first assessing them or thinking them through.   
  You wouldn't willingly put me in a position where I could be badly hurt without some form of protection, some blanket of security, right? And usually it's you, but since you're not here with me, this time, it's odd.  Logically, I shouldn't be here because I'm being subjected to some apparent evil. So there's something else to it. Otherwise I wouldn't be here. Especially when taking into account that I'm under my alignment and by my presumption so is Chen, from what you've said and hinted at thus far, anyway. You wouldn't willingly allow two under your alignment in here where they could both easily fall to their death or be latched onto by these creepy void creature things, because that's practically sabotaging those you hold closest. And from what I've observed, you're not the type of... being to do so."

Daehyun chuckled, sounding slightly awed. She was getting good at this.

"So what is it Daehyun, what's your backup plan?"

'You genuinely do catch onto things easily, Lilian. It is extremely interesting. And once again, you are right. To allow a human to enter this realm alone would be a huge mistake that would potentially make me the worst of my kind.   
  Regardless of how enthusiastic and excited a human may be to be in this position, regardless of how much they promise they can handle it, they cannot. At least not without constant guidance. With me telepathically connecting with you, that may very well be considered guidance but without a physical presence, and with the fact that prior to right now, you have never been in this position, you do not know where to go from here.   
  Once completing the pattern, you should be directed straight to Chen but with the high calibre negative energy circling him, to go alone would be the most foolish mistake in the history of foolish mistakes. Without backup, it will do to you what it has done to Chen. And though you may very well be in a safer frame of mind than Chen currently is, you are still human. You are still alive. Creatures of the void thirst for life, Lilian. You are everything they have dreamed of and more.'

Lilian nodded, processing it all. "So what it is, what do I do? Why are we being stalled, Daehyun? Who or what are you waiting for?"

'By theory and experience, there will never not be a time when T or the second J are not inhabiting the voids. Be it together, be it simply just one. It is arguable that they spend more of their time in the voids than they do in our kingdom. They are my brothers, they are trusted companions. Since you have accepted the bond, you are identifiable to them in a way Chen will not be, as he has not gotten around to accepting the bond. What we must do is wait--or search--for either one. T is our better bet in this situation.'

"How do I find him, then?"

'Would you prefer to wait or go look for him yourself?"

 

"So how is that possible?" Jongdae asked, glancing back at their parents in confusion, in fear. He glanced back at Jongin, contemplation in his eyes.

Jongin blinked, jumping slightly. He allowed his eyes to drink in the elders features, before nodding to himself. "Whatever do you mean, hyung?"

"Why can't they hear us? How is this possible?"

Jongin send him a confused stare, also glancing back at their parents, who in that exact second seemed to snap back into reality. All were looking at Jongdae. "What are you talking about, hyung? They can hear us just fine."

Jongdae felt his body run cold. "But... just minutes ago... you said..."  
  
"Are you feeling okay, hyung? Jongin edged closer. "You don't look so good, all of a sudden."

"No," Jongdae exclaimed, jumping back. "I distinctly remember..."  
  
"Distinctly remember what, hyung?"

"We were talking about father," he quietened his voice after this, "about... abuse."

Jongin nodded. "That was at least half an hour ago, though."

"No," Jongdae said, shaking his head vehemently. "It was mere minutes ago... and you even said they couldn't hear us..."

"It was half an hour ago," Jongin insisted. "And they couldn't hear us because we were whispering." He then chuckled, but it sounded confused. "What other reason would they not be able to hear us?"

After the startle of Jongdae's exclamation his parents turned to face him. When noting that the brothers were now speaking, it was as though everything was once again like it should be. They turned back, speaking between themselves, and Jongdae knew they once again couldn't hear the conversation between himself and Jongin.

"They literally froze in place, though! Jongin, I..." He took a deep, shaky breath, shaking his head. "What have I been doing for thirty minutes then?"

"Sitting there," Jongin said, slightly wincing. "Staring at the wall."

Jongdae's eyebrows furrowed.

"I tried to get your attention several times but you just... you wouldn't respond. Father was going to try himself, but, he hesitated." Jongin's smile was tight. "Perhaps you were right."

"In what?"

"That there's been a shift in him. He's a lot less like himself. He's more cooperative, more understanding. Basically, entirely out of character."

"Jongin, I don't..."

"I guess it makes sense though," the younger seemed have a sad note to the tone of his voice. "Now that you're back, I'm sure they all think that..." He stopped there, shaking his head.

"What, Jongin? What do they think?"

Jongin held the gaze of his brother, shrugging. It held no vigor. No enthusiasm. "That we'll be a perfect family, once more."

Jongdae furrowed his eyebrows.

"We'll be complete," Jongin continued. "Both parents, both sons. Everyone who had a position prior will be standing to their role." He chuckled, but the sound wasn't humored. It was hollow, fading. "It will magically slip their mind that their younger son had been forced to take on two roles and more since their elder son's disappearance, among everything else."

"Jongin..."

There was a sadness in Jongin's eyes that almost left the elder wincing. "For eight years and counting I waited, Jongdae. Reality set in a long, long time ago, I won't deny that. But." He took a deep breath. "I also won't deny the fact that there was something within me that just couldn't let go of you. That couldn't give up on you."

Jongdae felt something painful twinge within him.

"Every single night without fail I would sit up and wait. Be it thirty minutes, be it an hour. No one knew, since I always found a way to convince mother I was sleeping at the hour she'd send me to bed. But I wasn't, at least not until I'd allowed myself the time to wait for you. It was childish, it was redundant and with the older I got, the more ridiculous I'd begin to feel about it... but." He seemed to shiver. "I kept thinking that if I went one day without it, that'd be the day your corpse would be found and brought back to us. Even if you were missing, Jongdae, at least in my mind you were still alive."

"Jongin..." Jongdae trailed off once more, at a loss for words.

"I found ways to cope, though." Jongin's smile didn't reach his eyes. "I'd purposely mess up the sheets of your bed some days as if to pretend you were in them. Only to wake the next morning and have to fix them myself. I'd rearrange the books entirely to the order you liked them, even if that was something that used to annoy me so much about you when you were here. I purposely refused to eat fish some days--though we scarcely even eat it to begin with, just to... keep you in my memory, I guess."

Jongdae tried his hardest to swallow the lump back in his throat, he tried his hardest to not allow his eyelids to fall closed in pain. Trying to think of anything else, he allowed mind to focus on what Jongin had said about fish, finding it both intriguing and peculiar that he even hated fish in this dimension.

"Thinking that if I thought like you, I'd finally understand where it was you were coming from. What possessed you to run away and leave me here alone. I tried so many methods, I contemplated so much, it even got to the point where mother and father would catch on, where they'd realize what I was doing."

Jongdae kept quiet, knowing there was more to it.

"At first they'd feel sorry for me, pity me. Realize that even if they were your parents, it was likely that it was hitting me hardest. As your younger brother who admired you more than anyone else in the world. But as the years went by that pity faded, and they started to hint that I had to get over it. To get on with life. They never explicitly said it but I had to forget about you. I had to think of other things. Neglecting to mention that such a thing wasn't even that easy for them, either. Mother would talk to herself, she'd see you everywhere she went." He kept his eyes at his feet. "And I guess father found his coping method in comparing me to you every chance he got. Once again never explicitly saying it but implying that when you were around, he preferred you as a son."

Jongdae winced. "Jonginnie..."

"But I couldn't blame him, because I prefer you, too."

Jongdae let out a shaky breath. "Jonginnie," he whispered. "Please stop this."

Jongin met Jongdae's eyes, seeming slightly taken aback. "Does it hurt, hyung?"

Jongdae nodded his head.

Jongin nodded. "I think at this point I'm immune to pain." His eyes looked so empty. "Physical, mental, the likes." He then took a deep breath. "I waited for eight years, and now you're back." He was quiet for some time. "Is it bad that I don't know how to properly process that piece of information?"

Jongdae edged closer. "No," Jongdae insisted. "It's a natural reaction."

"It's everything I've ever wanted," Jongin said emptily. "For eight years, it's all I've dreamed of. But now that it's here, I don't know how to react like a brother should. A brother would. Shouldn't I be jumping for joy, clinging onto you for dear life? Why is it that it still feels unreal." He seemed to sniffle. "Why is it that they still find a way to blame me, hyung? To see it as a negative doing on my part?"

"I think they're having a hard time coming to terms with it too, Jonginnie."

"Is that what it is?" The way in which he worded it, the unassuming innocence, appeared so much like how Jongdae had envisioned how his Jongin would've reacted in their past. But how he didn't. "One thing is for certain though," Jongin said, nodding to himself.

"What's that?" He made sure to be gentle, to not rush him.

Jongin met his elder brother's eyes. "I can't hate you." There was a pause. "I can't blame you, either. I've contemplated your reasonings, I've tried so hard to understand over the years, I've convinced myself that I can. But now you're here, hyung... you can't go back. Now that you've returned, you can't leave me again."

There was so much sincerity, so much hidden sadness in the younger's eyes. It made Jongdae's heart sting.

Jongin edged closer. "Can I hug you, hyung?"

Jongdae blinked at Jongin, who all of a sudden seemed to look exactly like the young boy he'd escaped their house with, back in his reality. Innocent, naive. A whole life ahead of him.

Jongin chuckled softly. "We don't normally hug, do we?" His eyes saddened once again. "Can we, though? I think it will help prove to me that I'm not imagining this entire thing."

"Of course," Jongdae said, also edging closer. He gently wrapped his arms around the younger's torso, holding him close to him. "You're shaking," Jongdae soon noted.

Jongin seemed to cling to him, as if afraid to let go. "Please don't leave me again, Jongdae-hyung."

"Shh," the elder soothed, gently patting him on the head. "I'm here, okay?"

"I'm sorry if you hate me, hyung. I'm sorry if I'm the reason you left. I promise to be better."

Jongdae froze at this, blinking. "Jongin, what are you talking about?"

Once again, Jongin's eyes looked empty. "Everything's always my fault, hyung."

 

"So..." Lilian trailed off, grinning sheepishly even though she knew Daehyun couldn't see her. "What do I do?"

'Have you finished the pattern?'

Lilian crinkled her nose, reminding herself not to entertain her previous thoughts on said subject matter. "I've yet to stand on the purple block, but other than that, yes."

'Then proceed to the purple block.'

"But..." Lilian hesitated. "You said it transports me straight to Chen. And supposedly that would be the most foolish move to make with regards to the negative energy blanketing him, right?"

'Correct.'

Lilian's eyebrows furrowed. "Then..."

'There are loopholes to everything, Lilian. It is all about finding them.'

Lilian's mouth made an 'o' shape. "Oh. So, then...?"

'Reach into your pocket.'

Lilian quirked an eyebrow, taken aback. "What?"

'Reach into your pocket.'

She did as instructed, expecting to find nothing. To her surprise however, her fingers danced along a cold marble surface. Pulling it out, her eyes fell onto a bracelet with four colored pendants attached. They were all indescribably beautiful, shades she'd never witnessed in all of her years upon the earth, even as a Royal, who experienced the richest of all aspects of life. All four of the pendants were coated in a ethereal gleam. The first was golden colored, second was a dark purple, third was a dark blue, and forth, a green.

"Alignments," she stated, now feeling a certain familiarity with these four colors and the order they showed up in.

'Correct,' Daehyun said. 'Please take hold of the blue pendant.'

"What will that do?"

'After the chant I next make, and what you will repeat after me, you will be transported to his general vicinity. Then I shall be assured that you are safe. That both yourself and Chen will make it out of this void in one piece.'

Lilian nodded, then came to a halt. "What will I repeat after you?"

'Have patience, Lilian. I was getting to that. If you pay close attention it shall become clear what you are repeating.'

Lilian nodded. "Okay," she said. "Let's do this!"

Daehyun first chanted something that was completely indecipherable to Lilian's ears. It was too fast, too fluid, and sounded a lot older than any other language she'd ever encountered. After he'd finished, he took a breath. 'Repeat after me, okay? I shall sound it out for you.'

"Okay."

 _'Djei-iuu-en-djii,'_  Daehyun said and then paused. 'Did you get that clearly?'

"Yes," Lilian said. "Do I repeat it now?"

'Wait until I finish, please.'

"Go ahead, then."

_'Tii-ei-ii-kei-dabeliuu-ou-ou-en.'_

Lilian crinkled her nose. "That sounds like a mouthful. Also..." She trailed off, blinking. "This is in English, right?"

There was a surprised element to Daehyun's voice when it came through. 'You are familiar with English? That is intriguing, also fascinating. Humans never fail to amaze me.'

Though there was no malice to it and under the knowledge that she knew he couldn't see her, Lilian rolled her eyes at him. "Humans are also capable of learning languages, Daehyun. It's not something reserved solely for your kind. Also, contrary to popular belief, in our Palace we don't sit around idly and do a whole lot of nothing."

'I now realize that,' Daehyun said, and Lilian could hear the chuckle in his voice. 'Humans are very interesting beings. However, shall we proceed?'

"We shall."

'Spell out the first part of what I said in English letters, Lilian.'

Lilian nodded, suddenly feeling very confident. She couldn't be tricked with languages, especially languages she knew how to speak. " _Djei_  is 'J',  _iuu_  is 'U',  _en_  is 'N',  _djii_  is 'G'... so Jung?"

'Correct.'

"Isn't that you?"

Daehyun evidently came to a halt. 'Yes. You are correct. Jung Daehyun.'

Lilian then nodded along. "You're brothers though, right? Of course you're going to have the same surname."

'Ah,' Daehyun said, as if only just realizing it could be taken from this perspective. 'We  _are_  brothers yes, but not by blood.'

Lilian stalled. "Wait, you're not?"

'Of course not. T was once human, I was not.'

Lilian quirked an eyebrow. "So humans can become your kind? I didn't know that."

'Humans can very much become one of our kind. T was our very first _successful_ human transition, actually. However that is a tale for another time, so let us proceed.'

"Okay," Lilian agreed, but she was still infinitely curious. She really wanted to know all there was to know about Daehyun and his kind. " _Tii_  is 'T',  _ei_  is 'A',  _ii_  is 'E',  _kei_  is 'K',  _dabeliuu_  is 'W',  _ou_  is 'O',  _ou_  again is also 'O' and  _en_  is 'N'."

'Now say both names aloud.'

Lilian took a breath. "Jung... Taekwoon?"

'Correct! Keep tight grasp of the blue pendant and now take a step onto the purple block. You will be encountering my brother Jung Taekwoon face to face, an encounter not many are likely to ever experience. Except when...' He stopped there, however.

Lilian quirked an eyebrow but didn't push it. "Sounds interesting," Lilian said. "I wonder what's he's like."

Daehyun's jovial laughter was slightly worrying her for a reason she couldn't pinpoint. 'You shall soon find out, Lilian.'

"Wait--!" Lilian called. "Before I step on the block, you're not going to disappear, are you? The telepathic communication won't stop, will it?"

'No,' Daehyun confirmed. 'I will still be here.'

Somehow, that put her at ease. "Good," she mumbled.

 

What Jongin had said about them not hugging often, though true, saddened Jongdae in a way. Like he had with their parents in the other reality, Jongin had lost Jongdae at a very young age.

Jongdae's memories of childhood--spare a few--were disjointed, hazy. Ridiculously difficult to recollect. Even more so now that he was in this alternate dimension, as Jongin claimed. He couldn't recall if they would hug often from his past.

The logical answer he could assume made him feel like a terrible brother.

But what would that translate to in this dimension?

From what he could remember--which was the events post to them losing their parents--Jongdae had focused on getting them way out of the village and away from any form of civilization.

And for the years after, focused on keeping them both alive, on training them.

Making them competent.

He had no time for verbal affection, or for hugs.

He knew the younger wasn't exactly interested in either to begin with, and had always been peculiar with physical affection for as long as he could recall--tending to shy away or avoid it at all costs--but he couldn't help but wonder if there were times...

When those kinds of things did occur, it was always either from the likes of Yixing, or Luhan. Yixing making the blankets, Yixing making their personalized knives. Yixing affirming Jongin for his hard work, telling him he'd done a good job or was proud of him for consistently putting so much effort in.

Or Luhan reminding them to eat, even on days where they had no energy left. Luhan reminding them to sleep, Luhan placing blankets over whoever needed it, Luhan always reminding them he was there to talk to if they had any concerns or problems.

All Jongin and Jongdae seemed to do when they were together was bicker or make fun of each other. Or have conversations about concepts not many seemed to be interested in, or learn together. They obviously cared about the other, tangibly, but didn't exactly show that in ways that were considered standard.

Jongdae would try. He'd try to gauge information out of Jongin,  try to advise Jongin, or try to help Jongin had the younger had any problems in any area, but Jongin probably considered him too persistent and overbearing when he tried. Too overprotective. 

He wasn't as subtle as Luhan in his methods, and probably didn't seem as sincere as Yixing. But he  _was_  as sincere about it as Yixing. He  _did_  care as much as Luhan.

As all of them. Combined.

Probably even more. 

Scratch that, even more.

For definite.

In that moment he found himself thinking back to a recently occurred instance, something Jongin had said. Something that was strangely familiar to his circumstances.

_"I kept thinking that if I went one day without it, that'd be the day your corpse would be found and brought back to us."_

Though differing in content, it alluded to a routine Jongin had adopted, a coping method. Something he couldn't go one day without completing for fear that that one day would be the day everything changed.

Jongdae had quite a few of them with Jongin, ever since the night they lost their parents. There were minor ones, like making sure Jongin had fallen asleep first. Or more major ones, like always having to have the younger within close vicinity, at all times.

And by some awful odds, just like Jongin alluded to when verbalizing that prior sentence, had happened for Jongdae.

The one day he allowed himself to be genuinely selfish, the one day he allowed himself to cower away from everything and anything--in such choosing to go to sleep instead of go check up on Jongin and Luhan--was the day he lost them both.

To Them.

Which left shivers down his spine for nights to come. Did that not only confirm--that like his fears--They were watching and keeping an eye on him and his movements in some form, at the very least, since the night of the murders?

But also confirm that They were also mocking him, laughing about it at their leisure?

Reiterating the fact that They knew exactly where it was he had relocated, and perhaps hung around there for fun in their free time, too.

Just how long had They been sneaking around in the shadows? Just how close had They come to him in the years after the event of that night, and him not realizing how close They actually were? Not even picking up that They were in vicinity, even?

The thought made him shiver.

Jongdae didn't believe in coincidences.

Deciding he didn't have to think about that now, maybe slightly humoring the possibility that his entire other life may very well just be a dream, he focused on Jongin.

Hugging Jongin was nice. Maybe because it had been days since he'd last seen his brother, maybe because he didn't hug him often to begin with. He could probably count the amount of times he had hugged the younger on one hand.

Hugging was a physical reminder that Jongin was still alive, living proof he was still alive. That his respiratory system was working in tandem, that his heart was still beating.

Perhaps it was instinctual for Jongdae, but he felt reassured.

He felt secure.

Reaching down to pat the younger on the head, Jongdae smiled.

Jongin had stopped shaking a little while ago, evidence he was calming down. That, he, too was being reassured.

Feeling secure.

"Hyung?"

Jongdae glanced at him. "Hm?"

Jongin opened his mouth, only to sigh and shut it again. Looking disappointed with himself.

"Take your time."

Jongin nodded. "I just," he began, smiling gently, still a hint of nervousness behind it all. Like he was scared Jongdae was going to apparate at any given moment. "I missed you, hyung."

"I missed you, too."

Jongin looked dubious for a second, insecure. Jongdae could tell there were a thousand and one thoughts swirling around his head. Finally, Jongin nodded. "You're the only person I like hugging."

Jongdae chuckled at this. "Hyungs always give the best hugs, right?"

"Hyung," Jongin corrected. "Since there's only you."

"Still a smartass at the heart of it all, I see," Jongdae muttered, playfully rolling his eyes.

Jongin chuckled, but the insecurity from before seemed to return. "Please don't go." He knew he'd already said it, he knew he'd already voiced such worries before, but the thought kept reoccurring to him. He needed verbal confirmation. "Don't leave me again, hyung."

Jongdae gazed gently at the younger. "I won't."

Jongin tightened his hold on the elder, glancing up at him much like an admiring younger brother would. Jongdae saw hope in his younger brother's eyes. He saw a light at the end of a tunnel. "You promise?"

_"I promise."_

Jongin unlatched himself at this, overall appearing a lot more assured. "I think we still have a bit of convincing to do though, hyung. They're wavering in their beliefs but we need them to fully believe you're back. That you're you."

 

"Wait," Lilian said.

She could hear Daehyun let out a sigh. 'What is it now, Lilian?' There was a hint of amusement there too, so she knew he couldn't be entirely exasperated. 'Stop hesitating!'

"I've found your loophole!" She exclaimed. "That or you lied to me!"

'How so?'

"Before you let me come to the void you said that the dark energy surrounding Chen will greatly harm your kind. Especially your leader, the first born and yourself, right? But you also included Taekwoon and the doctor brother, too!"

'Healing brother,' Daehyun reminded.

Lilian waved her hands. "Yeah, him. But my point is, you said the energy would harm Taekwoon, too!"

'It  _will.'_

Lilian felt her eyes narrow and a sigh leave her lips, looking entirely befuddled. "Then why are you sending me to him if this negative energy is apparently strong enough to greatly harm or even kill him? Where's that going to get us?"

'Oh Lilian,' Daehyun said, chuckling. She knew he wasn't trying to sound condescending, but... 'There is one thing you must know about Taekwoon, Lilian.'

"And what's that?"

There was a small pause. 'He cannot die.'

Lilian's eyes widened. "Like, at all?"

'He specializes in death. He cannot die.'

"Okay. Fair enough. But you said he can still be wounded, right? That even those of you that specialize in the voids can be greatly harmed by this negative energy. Then you contradicted yourself by claiming that the second J knows everything there is to know about voids and can't be harmed by them in any sense because it's what his alignment is based on, and then apparently Taekwoon can't die now. But they can both be really badly harmed by this negative energy around Chen, hm? How?"

'It is a very peculiar set up at the moment, Lilian. The only reason I could not retrieve Chen myself is because of  _who_  it is the negative energy blanketing him belongs to. It is a being--a villain of our past who is unparalleled in strength. I have not yet told you about hierarchies. I have hinted at them with the being who is my direct opposite, my natural enemy, have I not?'

Lilian nodded. "You have."

'I shall explain. By hierarchical stance, my leader--the first J--and the Nocens leader are parallels. Their first born creature of the night parallels the second J, who is our first born. My direct opposite, my natural enemy, parallels me. He is the second born, I am also the second born.'

"Then what about Taekwoon and the third J?"

'Taekwoon has a direct parallel also. However this being does not associate primarily, if even at all, with the Nocens--or as Chen refers to them, as Them _._  He travels alone. He, like Taekwoon, personifies neutrality. Taekwoon has a side, Taekwoon's powers lean slightly towards the light. Or,' Daehyun amended. 'The darker side of the light, if that makes sense?'

Lilian nodded, a little unsure. "I... guess so?"

'This being is the opposite of that. Neutral at the heart of it, but leaning to one side. It just happens to be the opposite side to us. But we do not need to worry about him, he is not a threat. He does not cause unnecessary pain or suffering.' She can almost _hear_ Daehyun's eye roll. 'Or drama.'

"I have a feeling it's a direct hit against your natural enemy?"

'He is vile,' Daehyun insists. 'I truly hope that when we do find and tail him, you do not have the misfortune of having to interact with him for extended periods of time. Any of you.'

Lilian nodded, but she was still really interested in Taekwoon's parallel. Daehyun's sounded like a piece of work.

She couldn't imagine an evil version of Daehyun.

She didn't even want to entertain the thought, in all honesty.

"So anyway, Taekwoon's parallel... if he's wandering alone right now and not teaming up with Them or the Nocens or whatever, what is it that he's doing, do you know?"

'It seems he lives a lonely existence. He does not appear to have any desire to team up with the Nocens or join them, but like us, he has a desire to lead. So perhaps he is planning to gather and build an army of his own?'

Lilian opened her mouth to speak but then closed it again, confused.

'But as I said, we do not need to worry about him, and would much prefer he be the one to lead such an army. He does not have a desire for pure chaos or destruction. He has no need to cross us and cause a war with us.'

"That sounds a lot nicer. Do you know his name?" She paused, hesitating a little. "Is it okay if I know his name, too?"

Daehyun hesitated. 'Perhaps we should test your knowledge?' There was an amused tone to his words. 'Should be interesting.'

Lilian found herself crinkling her nose. "But I won't know, will I?"

'No,' Daehyun laughed. 'Perhaps that is where the fun of it all lies.'

She narrowed her eyes at him. "And here I thought we were friends," she muttered in faux betrayal. "How could you?"

'By correct definition, I am actually your mentor.'

"And now you're playing the formal card with me? Wow. Way to break my heart, Jung Daehyun."

He laughed gently. 'I would be honored to befriend my alignment members Lilian, I am sure you are already aware.'

"That I am," she said. "So that's why you should tell me instead of setting me up for failure when you know I won't know who this persons' identity is."

'Kim,' Daehyun said. 'Have a try, Lilian. It could be anyone. Any of the Kims you know.'

Lilian cringed, narrowing her eyes at him, hoping he could sense it no matter how far away they were from each other. "I don't know any Kims!" She exclaimed. 

'I am sure you do, Lilian.'

"No," she drew it out. "I'm sure I don't!"

'Just try!'

"You're horrible," she huffed. "I'm going home."

Daehyun genuinely laughed at this and Lilian scowled. 'Good luck with that.'

"Fine," Lilian huffed again, deciding that she was going to be wrong either way so what did she have left to risk? Might as well have fun with it. "Kim...  _Chunji!"_

'Chunji is a Kim?' Daehyun asked, sounding confused. 

Lilian snorted. "No, he's not."

'I thought as much. Incorrect. Try again.'

"Kim... _Jongup!"_

'He is also not a Kim, is he?'

"Nope," Lilian confirmed, laughing. "Two can play at your game, though."

'Aish,' Daehyun muttered fondly. 'One more time.'

"I don't know!" Lilian puffed out a breath. "Kim... Taemin?! No, no, wait. Kim Anna!"

Daehyun's bright tone appeared to dim somewhat. 'Oh,' he whispered, sounding slightly saddened. 'I wonder how they are doing.'

Lilian blinked in surprise. "Oh no," she said, genuinely concerned. "Did I make you sad? Daehyun, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it!"

'Shh,' Daehyun said assuringly. 'You could not have known. But,' he seemed to perk up once more. 'Taemin neither Anna are Kims, so your three tries have been unsuccessful.'

"So you have to tell me now, right?"

'Correct,' Daehyun affirmed. 'Taekwoon's parallel goes by the name of...'

Lilian listened in expectantly, resisting the urge to edge closer to his voice, knowing she'd probably fall to her death if she accidentally moved off the blocks.

'Kim...'

"Kim...?"

 _'Woobin._  Kim Woobin.'

"So he works with death too, then, or?"

Daehyun was quiet for a short while. 'Think of them as different sides of the same coin, I believe that should suffice.'

Lilian nodded, eyebrows furrowing somewhat. "Okay," she said, deciding not to push it. "Then what about the third J then, who is his parallel?" Lilian paused. "And then... the last one?"

'H, you mean?'

"H, yes. Whoever H is."

'H does not yet come into all of this. He is very young. But a parallel does exist, which I shall get to. There are two extremely powerful and high up females on the Nocens side, both of whom worked their way up there, which even if we are on opposing sides, is admirable. After them, there is no remaining hierarchical members left. Which holds true for us also. For these two women, there is a clear power divide between the two and so I suppose by birth order for us, would translate to the third J being the more powerful parallel of the two.'

Lilian nodded along, still intrigued. "Will I ever know the first, second and third J's names, and also H?"

'If all goes to plan, you shall be meeting the first J very shortly. The other three I could reveal their identities to you at any time, but not right now as we have a task at hand. One hint they all have in common, I can, however. Are you interested?'

Lilian's eyes sparkled in curiosity. "Yes, yes, what is it?" She asked excitedly.

'The three of them share the same surname.'

"Which is?"

'Lee.'

Daehyun then took a breath. 'Now to finally clear this up concisely for you. The dark energy surrounding Chen right now happens to be one of our parallels...'

Lilian chewed at her lip nervously. "W-who's?"

'The second J.'

"So essentially that means..."

'That not only is this enemy more powerful than Taekwoon, they are also more powerful than I.'

"Oh no," Lilian said, shivering. "That's honestly terrifying."

'That it is, Lilian.'

"But then, doesn't that mean that the second J should be the one facing said enemy? Since they're parallels and all? You said this enemy is more powerful than Taekwoon, right?"

'In any other case, yes. And yes, this enemy is more powerful than Taekwoon.'

"I don't understand," Lilian trailed off. "Please explain."

'I was just about to, do not worry. In any other circumstance, you are correct. It should be the second J facing his parallel. But this time, like I previously said, we are in an extremely peculiar situation.'

Lilian took a deep, shaky breath as if only just realizing what she was getting into.

'This is the land of the dead, Lilian.'

Lilian cringed as if only just realizing that, too.

'The second J's parallel is also dead.'

"W-wha--?"

'Surprising as it may be, it is the truth. For many years now, we have been rid of her.'

 _"Her?"_  Lilian squeaked.

'Her,' Daehyun confirmed. 'And whilst we may be rid of the threat of her living being on earth, in our kingdom, in the Nocens kingdom, we are not rid of her forever. I told you what it is that happens to beings of the void, did I not?'

"You did," Lilian confirmed.

'Now along with all of that, add into the mix an extremely powerful force of evil, one step away from its leader, who is the creator of evil. She may not be wreaking havoc on solid realms any longer, but who is to stop her from wreaking havoc here, in the voids? She has been here a long time now. As, however not much life passes through, has had no reason to make herself visible to us. Nor target us. However, today...'

Lilian gulped.

'And unless entirely desperate, would have very high standards in the life she chooses to latch onto. The being she wants to take over. The being she wants to swap places with.'

"Y-you mean..."

'She must have a connection with Chen we were not presently aware of.'

"Oh no," Lilian said, now shivering even more. "T-then?"

'Chen kept mentioning the Nocens or as he dubs them, Them. I spoke with Lay a little while ago and he told me that Chen and his brother Kai witnessed their parents being slaughtered in front of them at a very young age. Chen is not aware of who did it, just that it was one of Them. Lay tells me that Chen believes there were two killers, Lilian. Both belonging to the Nocens.'

"So, then...?"

'She is definitely one of the Nocens, Lilian. Very likely she is linked to what it is Chen references. I think I have a fair guess as to who the other one is, if there were two that night, also.'

"Who's that then?"

'Her son,' Daehyun stated.

"This doesn't sound good," Lilian muttered. "Dare I ask who her son is?"

Daehyun paused, and she swore she could once again hear the scowl that developed on his features at the thought. 'My direct opposite, Lilian. Her son is the rival I speak of. My parallel. Chen is wrapped in the arms of the most manipulative being in existence. Even my rival cannot hold a candle to his mother in terms of manipulation, and he is beyond brilliant at manipulation.'

Lilian paled.

'So that is the reason why Taekwoon is our best bet. He cannot die. The second J can. She may be more powerful than he, but she cannot kill him. Any other one of us, she could.' He paused here for a second. 'Granted, there are methods the dark alignment members will have to keep the light alignment members from knowing and vice versa, simply because we will never master such elements ourselves and an attempt at trying could greatly harm us. If we are aware of such methods in a realm such as this, with its ability to contort and control minds and manipulate thoughts, we outside of ourselves could attempt such methods simply because they are stored in our memory bank. It is likely the second J and Taekwoon have put in place methods to keep themselves on top of the situation, to put themselves heads and tails above the Mother of all Evil. So please do not fret too much, I may be painting this in favor of She, the Mother of all Evil. But please have faith in them. They are capable, they control these borders. Surely, after many years in this realm,  under such tight controls, much as She thinks She controls it, She stagnates.'  


	19. Whisper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7I5CWyzTBGU

"So will Taekwoon be fighting her?"

'It may come to that,' Daehyun had said, sounding somewhat anxious. 'But hopefully not. At bare minimum he will only need to repel her, to distance her away from Chen. If he succeeds it will then be left to you. You will need to act fast, you will need to snap Chen out of his paralytic state. His disillusioned state. He may attack you, may threaten you. You must keep in mind that he will be cast under her... spell as such. It will be difficult, but with Taekwoon around to buy you time and assist you, I am certain you shall succeed.'

"Yeah," Lilian agreed half-heartedly. She suddenly wasn't looking forward to any of it any longer. When she said she wanted to interact with one of the inhabitants of the void, she was certain she wasn't referencing the most powerful being said void possessed. "I'm not so sure."

'Do not give up hope, Lilian. You are capable of many things. As of right now, you are a soldier.'

"As opposed to what?"

'An adventurer. Both of which align underneath me. Most of the time there will be a clear preference for one over the other, but that does not mean an aligned being cannot reach into this other side of themselves. Some are naturally brilliant at jumping between the two, for others it takes more practice, more patience. Just keep a clear mind and convince yourself you can pull through.'

Lilian clenched her hands into tight fists to stop them from shaking from nerves. "Okay," she said, taking a deep breath. "I can do this." Hesitating, still. "...Right?"

'Of course you can. I believe in you. You must also believe in yourself. Now please step onto the purple block. We must get going. Keep tight hold onto the blue pendant, Lilian.'

Taking another breath to calm herself down, Lilian stepped forwards. She closed her eyes on the impact, as if it'd help prepare her for the next events to come. She had no idea what to expect, or where to find Taekwoon. Or even what he looked like.

She focused on the cold feeling on pendant in her palm, starting to think she'd rather not know the identity of the negative energy enveloping Jongdae, or as she still knew him, Chen.

Before she knew it, an icy cold breeze blew by. It was unlike anything she'd ever witnessed before. Freezing, ice cold. Shiver inducing. None of it even began to describe how cold it felt. She daren't open her eyes.

'Do not move,' Daehyun instructed. 'Stay still until a clear pathway has been constructed. Like the blocks you shall be able to see the outlines. It should be dark blue. Do not, I repeat, do not move away from this pathway. Stay on it at all times. Walk on it until you find Taekwoon.'

"About that," Lilian began. "What does he look like?"

'He is very tall with dark hair. He will be wearing a combination of dark blue and black. It shall become very clear who he is when you encounter him, especially since all other 'life' forms here minus yourself and Chen, appear as distorted, grotesque beings.'

It couldn't have been but twenty seconds later when a pathway twisted itself into fruition, which was quite awe inspiring for Lilian to witness. Hesitantly, she took a step forward.

'Lilian,' Daehyun's voice sounded frantic.

Lilian almost jumped in surprise. "W-what is it?"

'We must hurry.'

"W-why?"

'Chen is fading,' he said just as frantically. 'Whatever she is doing, it must be exceedingly convincing. He must have already expressed verbal acceptance in some form, not entirely, but he is getting there. He is giving in, slowly but surely. Once he takes her hand, it is all over. Taekwoon will have to battle with her by that point. Please, Lilian, please hurry.'

"What do you mean by  _fading_ , Daehyun?"

'He is comatose back here with me as you are already aware. You are in a deep sleep here. The reason why you have gone invisible thus far to inhabitants of the void is because you are physically not present here, but the deeper you delve into the atmosphere, the further you travel, the more difficult it becomes to go unnoticed. If She convinces Chen, if she gets him to give in, whatever her cause of convincing may be, his body will start to disappear. It will be handed over to the void. They will literally swap places.'

Lilian let out a breath that sounded entirely overwhelmed.

'In other words, he will die. He will become She, the Mother of all Evil, a vessel for her destruction.'

She squeaked. "Guess we can't be letting that happen, then." She didn't mention how much she disliked the guy this time, neither that it was probably karma weaving its web either, which in any other circumstance she would've applauded herself for, but this time, knew it wasn't the right time nor place.

'I think I am distracting you, Lilian. Everything we talk about ends up as an in depth discussion. You have my deepest apologies. Please hurry to Taekwoon, I shall keep quiet until you are there. We genuinely cannot waste any more time.'

She smiled softly at him, even if know he couldn't see her. "Okay," she said. "Wish me luck!"

'Good luck,' there was nothing but sincerity in his words.

Her first step onto the pathway was the most terrifying, she'd realized. A sudden adrenaline rush hit her the minute her feet touched the pathway and she'd noted that she didn't fall straight to her death. If she convinced herself she'd survive this, she knew she would.

Right?

It was a longer pathway than she was anticipating, and even she'd been infinitely curious of her surroundings prior, daren't even look to her left or right, knowing she'd see nothing but mass amounts of space. Endless space. An ocean of nothingness at either side of her.

But was it really nothingness? Or did they just appear as invisible to her as she did to them at the current moment?

Letting out a shaky breath, she kept her focus ahead. Soon remembering what Daehyun had told her.

How Taekwoon would emphasize that if she thought something enough, the more likelihood it had of becoming a reality.

The pathway was long, was there anyway to get to Taekwoon quicker if she believed he was closer than he actually seemed to be?

Deciding to test it, she tried her hardest to keep her focus on said thought, as she walked. Going over it again and again in her head, telling herself that with every step she took, he was getting closer.

And closer.

And she continued until, just as Daehyun had said, it became a reality. A lone, dark haired figure, who was much, much taller than she stood in the distance, his back to her.

Tiptoeing closer, she came to an abrupt halt at the sight that greeted her. Somehow she'd managed to go undetected the entire journey there, and was now standing at Taekwoon's side.

She was already intimidated by the height difference between them, but that wasn't what she was focusing on in that moment. Rather what it was he was doing with his hands.

What it was he was creating.

She watched in slight awe as with a controlled and calculated flick of his wrist in an upwards direction, a glittering blue mist formed. The mist twisted and turned in an erratic manner--in a complete contrast of how controlled it had been before--before slowing down, clicking into place atop a structure made of the exact same material.

A glittering, fragile looking structure that appeared an awful lot like the clouds, in both texture and appearance, she'd see in the night sky.

Upon closer inspection she noted that it wasn't falling atop a haphazard structure with no apparent appearance or purpose, but slotting neatly into place onto a precisely detailed castle of sorts.

Stepping back, as though not to alert him, Lilian stood still, allowing herself to observe. Her eyebrows were furrowed as she allowed it to take place, having no actual clue what it was the tall being was doing.

He seemed to be utterly transfixed on the structure, on adding to the structure. Even from her distance she could tell how much intricate detail and precision had been placed into it, and though it looked as if he'd spent hours a day on it for a long period of time, she had no idea how timing worked in the voids so couldn't ever be sure.

Unless she asked. But... somehow, in that moment, it seemed to be the last thing on her mind. Even if realistically it should've been the first.

Judging the distance between them, and the fact that Taekwoon was entirely transfixed on his structure so hopefully wouldn't be noticing her presence for at least some time, she called upon Daehyun.

'Yes, Lilian?'

"Is Chen rapidly fading still or?"

'He appears... to have slowed down. She must have done something that indicated lack of reality or was too out of character from what Chen expects of said person she is portraying.'

"Whoever she's  _portraying?"_

'It is likely to be anyone. We cannot know until we get there. Have you found Taekwoon?'

Lilian coughed. "Y-yeah," she said. "I found him, but..."

Daehyun appeared to expect this. 'What is it, Lilian? What is he doing?'

"Making this, um, massively detailed and precise structure out of practically nothing? I have no idea what he's doing, in all honesty."

Daehyun sighed. 'I had a feeling. I told him to practice language. Why must he engage in that he is already adept at?'

Lilian's eyebrows furrowed. "Study languages? I thought you all had this... um, natural proficiency...?"

'Of all of us, Taekwoon is the weakest with languages. He knows our natural and our necessity languages, but the others pick up on other languages a lot quicker and to a much more proficient standard. Even our youngest, who at his young age probably should not be doing as so. Taekwoon tries to justify it all by claiming that unlike I, he will not be interacting with mass amounts of humans--living, anyway--so has no actual need to learn their languages.'

Lilian nodded along. "Well, to be honest," she said lightly. "He's got a point there, if that is the case."

'Lilian!'

She smiled sheepishly. "Sorry. Anyway," she continued. "What is it he's doing?"

'Likely a form of aeromancy, though as it sounds, he is not using it for its intended purpose. Or perhaps he is, it may just be an advanced version.'

"What does it do?"

'Divines the future via interpretation of atmospheric conditions. Meaning it gives him an insight of what is to come, if he is using it for that purpose.'

Lilian felt herself cringe before she even realized it was taking place. "So, like, seeing me come here before I actually end up here? Wouldn't that also mean he already knows Chen is in here too and that... 'She' is attacking or whatever she's doing after being silent in here for so long?"

'It depends on which area he is focusing on. Whether or not it is the voids, or elsewhere. Whether or not he is even using it for its intended purpose. If he is honing his skill in aeromancy, then he will not be witnessing any predictions of anything. Likely that is what is taking place.'

"So... what do I...?"

'Waiting for him to notice you seems like our only option by this point.' He paused. 'Which could take a while so would not be my first choice if any other options were visible. However unless you can think of another option, I am afraid it will be what we are stuck with.'

"I have a little something in mind," she said, eyes narrowed in concentration. She'd been wondering for some time, and the only way to find out would be to ask, would it not? If she started small with the questions, meaning she went from what she was least curious about to what she was most curious about--though evidently very curious about all--and steadily worked her way up, she'd definitely get somewhere. If the first thing she asked happened to be something not many knew, only those from his realm that did, he'd be likely either be taken by stark surprise and be weary of her, coming to a concise conclusion that she was an enemy and needed to be thwarted--which would at least get his attention on her. Or realize in that moment that she was working with him, or at least on his side, with Daehyun. Which would likely intrigue him, so in such get his attention also.

Plus she was a living human in a realm living humans weren't supposed to be in, and his alignment was situated around said realm according to Daehyun, so there was always that, too.

Nodding to herself, Lilian took a cautious step forward. Taekwoon was still in the distance, focused entirely on his structure. On his aeromancy.

She had a feeling that her method of distraction in Daehyun's eyes would been that he expected her to reprimand Taekwoon, to tell him he shouldn't be focusing on aeromancy and instead putting his focus on language proficiency. She also had a feeling that would be because it'd be the first thing Daehyun would've done in said situation.

And that was fine, considering his position with Taekwoon. The fact that he knew him, that they were of the same realm and kind. That they were likely to have interacted on a daily basis. That Daehyun wasn't highly intimidated just by looking at him.

Lilian, on the other hand, would be marking her first time meeting him.  
Interacting with him.

Like Daehyun had said, Taekwoon was tall. Much taller than she. And unlike with Daehyun--who had blended in a lot better than he'd given himself credit for--clearly wasn't trying to hide himself or what it was he and his kind happened to be. He wasn't trailing around pretending to be human, definitely wasn't on a mission to interact and blend in with humans, and was currently standing in a place he apparently visited more often than his home. A place he knew all the know-hows and short cuts in.

A place he knew practically everything about.

That Lilian knew next-to-nothing about.

And of things... she wasn't going to march up and demand he do something that he'd apparently been instructed--or highly recommended--to do by Daehyun. Even if under Daehyun's alignment. She may have had a strong will and mind, wasn't _too_ easily intimidated, but that didn't mean she was going to risk her life in an unknown realm with an intimidatingly tall and powerful being standing a few feet away from her--who she also had to get on the good side of.

Since she had to work  _with_  him.

The last thing she wanted to do was boss him around. Or "lead him in the right direction" which would be how Daehyun would be likely to define it. Plus she wasn't exactly great at directing people in what to do to begin with and didn't feel like being a hypocrite as she didn't like being on the receiving end of that either, highlighting another reason as to why Royal life just wasn't for her.

It'd been popping up in the back of her mind since it'd been referenced. "So the opposite side of the same coin would be...?" She made sure to voice this out loud. "Logically the opposite of death would be life, would it not?" With every word she got out, she'd edged closer. It wasn't a lie that she was nervous, but she was good at keeping it contained. At least outwardly.

There was a pause.

"Both of you encompass neutrality, I'm aware. But if you're the one who holds the 'lighter' powers of the two, and Woobin holds the 'darker' of the two, yet you specialize in death, and I've been left to come to the conclusion that he specializes in life... how does that work? Objectively death is darker than life. And to be the opposite side of the same coin would mean it has to have at least some element of death attached, would it not? Now unless I'm way off the margin here that leaves me to come to conclusion that he works life into death in some form? And I have no idea how that's possible but..." She stopped here, taking a slightly shaky breath, her next words coming out in a rush, "if you could help clear a few things up for me here Mr Taekwoon I'd honestly be extremely thankful."

With this she stopped and waited, placing her hands at her side and willing her nerves not to outwardly show. 

Squeezing her eyes closed, she continued to wait, resisting the urge to nervously tap her feet, or run as fast as she could in the opposite direction. Throughout her inner turmoil, she could've swore she heard Daehyun chuckling in the distance.

'Lilian,' he whispered, sounding as though the concept was mildly incredulous to him. 'Are you  _afraid_  of Taekwoon?'

"Are you  _not?"_  She hissed back, stuffing her hands into the pockets of the too-long robe she bought from Anna and Taemin's stall. A slight squeak was heard. "I think he's turning around, oh no. I thought I was prepared for this but now that it's here I don't think I am. Daehyun, what do I do?"

'I shall leave you to figure it out between yourselves. It is an intriguing event to witness, in all honesty. Human interaction is by no means his forte Lilian, as I should warn you.'

Lilian shivered. "Sometimes I think I hate you, Jung Daehyun."

He chuckled good-naturedly, but keep quiet from there after. Leaving Lilian to cope on her own.

The second Daehyun had quietened down, Taekwoon turned, now facing her. With slightly furrowed eyebrows, he tilted his head at her, blinking in what looked like well-contained confusion. The first few times he opened and closed his mouth, no sound came out.

There was a pause of several seconds where no word was spoken between the both of them.

Finally after a few seconds of this, he edged closer, but only a minuscule distance. "...Life?" His voice was a lot different than she was anticipating. Softer.

But that didn't lessen the fear she was feeling. Or the intimidation.  
Taekwoon edged even closer, and Lilian resisted the urge to take a step backwards.

He wasn't looking directly at her, rather at something above her head. "A life span?" He then shook his head as if it were improbable. Or impossible. Letting his eyes flicker down to her face, but not making any move to edge closer or touch her, he nodded to himself. "Are they finally upgrading?" He nodded again. "Took them long enough."

Lilian's eyes widened at this. Was who finally upgrading? The void beings...? She gulped. Did he think she was one of creatures of the void who had sneaked up on him? That wasn't good. "W-wait," she stuttered out, frantically taking a step backwards but still trying to make sure she didn't fall back into the depths of the void whilst she was it. "I-I... I mean I'm not..."

He came to a direct halt in that second, directly in front of her, and Lilian could've swore she saw her life flash before her eyes. Squeezing her eyes closed as if to prepare herself for some kind of instantaneous death, she stood still. Waiting.

"Alignment Jung," he whispered, eyes following something once again above her head, though she wasn't aware with her eyes closed. "Light." There was a pause. "Daehyun?"

She let out a breath she wasn't aware she was holding, opening her eyes slowly. "Y-yeah. D-Daehyun." A shiver passed through her. "I-is it me or did it suddenly get very cold in h-here?"

"Cold?" He asked, blinking. Then with a minuscule widening of his eyes, whipped around, back once again to her.

Lilian shuffled to the corner closest to her, eyes widening at the sight before her. Just as Daehyun had described, a grotesquely twisted and mangled being whipped past them, and it was hard to see its individual features from the speed it was going.

Up until the point where it zoomed back, stopping straight before Taekwoon's line of vision. Within a fraction of a second, its mangled mouth opened and it let out a string of drawn out, freakishly high pitched sounds, the frequencies so loud that they were beginning to sting her ears, forcing her to clamp her hands over her ears in revulsion.

Taekwoon, on the other hand, didn't react at all. Even with it screaming in his face. Even with it being mere centimeters from his face.

"Guess I  _can_  see them after all, then?" She muttered, cringing. "Doesn't seem as if it can see me, however." She let out a breath. "Which is a relief."

With one controlled flick of his wrist, the void creature was directed elsewhere, disappearing from their line of vision.

But it didn't end there as another came spiraling forward, twisting and pirouetting in directions a human body should and never would be capable in any other circumstance.

This one sounded like it was crying with long drawn out wails and ear splitting whines, it kept murmuring phrases that she couldn't make out entirely, but her best guess was a contorted form of an apology. If it wasn't for the convulsing and entirely unnatural placement of its body and movements, she would've felt slightly bad for the thing. It seemed lost... like it didn't understand what was taking place. Where or who it was.

Why it was there.

Taekwoon, however, didn't seem to be in the same predicament. He didn't flinch, nor barely even react. With the same controlled flick of his wrist as before, he directed it on its way, and Lilian tried hard not to flinch at the wail it made as it went.

He turned back to her. "They are already dead."

Lilian nodded, not exactly knowing what else to add, or even how to react. She'd figured as much from the realm itself but perhaps it was in that moment when the reality and entirety of the situation sunk in. How much she'd already witnessed today and how much more was to come.

She was still as intrigued as ever by everything, but she couldn't deny that she was simultaneously terrified by it all, too.

Taekwoon kept his eyes on her, as if waiting for a strategically placed attack of some kind. "Why are you here?"

"Uh," Lilian began, voice sounding small. "I..."

"Humans should not be in this realm. Life should not encounter this void. How did you get here, and why?"

"D-Dae--"

"Do you have evidence?"

Lilian absentmindedly pointed towards her forehead area, recalling that that was the area Taekwoon looked at to identify she belonged to 'Alignment Jung, Light' previously.

Taekwoon kept a deadpan expression. "Other than that. This void contains enemies of the highest caliber, who are able to keep some hold over themselves, masters of mimicking and manipulation. If you think it is that easy to fool me, you are mistaken."

Lilian chewed at her lip. "D-doesn't it look authentic? I promise I'm not a void being. How do I prove that I'm authentic? That I've been speaking to Daehyun since arriving here?"

"By what method are you conversing with him?"

"He's... uh, telepathically connecting to me from earth?"

Taekwoon nodded. "Makes sense. I just need to confirm." There was a static sound, and he made a movement with his hands before reaching over and taking a light hold of Lilian's hands. He began chanting a few words under his breath that Lilian didn't catch and believed she never would catch from any of them, and had started to believe that was their intention so just let it take place. 

"What did you do?" She asked instead.

"Made it so he can now connect with us both simultaneously."

Lilian nodded, looking intrigued.

"Why did you send her?"

'Well,' the voice on the other end began, sounding affronted. 'Hello to you too, brother!'

Taekwoon rolled his eyes.

'Do not think I am not aware that you are rolling your eyes at me, Jung Taekwoon.'

There was a pause.

'And three seconds away from letting an exasperated sigh at me.'

Taekwoon suppressed said sigh. "Hello, Daehyun. Will you please answer the question as to why a human-- _of all creatures_ \--is in this realm?"

'Of course.' There was a pause. 'I was as unwilling as you sound in sending her, but as it is a dire circumstance I saw no other option. However...'

Lilian kept quiet, watching the interaction take place in mild amusement.

'If you had have been doing as I suggested, you would have been aware of what was going on in the realm also. However you decided to go against my word and focus on honing your skills in an area you are already beyond adept at, and thus lost ability to focus on anything other than that. There is more than just Lilian in the void as of current, there is also Chen, who is in a dire circumstance and needs to be retrieved.'

Taekwoon looked disgruntled. "There are _two_  humans here? And dire, why?"

'He has stumbled into the hands of She. The Mother of all Evil.'

"Both in literal and figurative terms?" Lilian asked to make sure, still curious about this being as terrifying as she seemed to be.

'Both in literal and figurative terms,' Daehyun confirmed.

"How did that happen?"

'He entered the land the Nocens once inhabited, now an abandoned, 'cursed' forest that is cleverly avoided by most of the human kind. Chen is in a predicament where he must enter this forest to get to the nearest village to him, and in a vulnerable state of mind did as such and then encountered myself soon after. The energies mixed and as his vulnerable state was to such a degree, he was entirely susceptible to what most humans are blissfully unaware. To make matters worse appears to have links to the mother of the Nocens, and she has now securely wrapped herself around him and his being, intending to swap places with him. You are well aware of how I and the rest of our brothers cannot interact with this energy head on, particularly Light Alignment, and how it affects you the least of us all, the thirst for battle less so between the two of you than with her opposing equal, the second J. Of how you cannot die. I would have sent myself, and intended to, but could not get passed this energy surrounding him. Under the educated assumption that you would be here, I guided Lilian towards you. I intend that you distract the mother of the Nocens, whilst Lilian snaps Chen out of her influence and you then help bring them both back to me. I realize it is a request you were not expecting, and I know you would prefer to not interact with humans until absolutely necessary, but I would consider this situation as absolutely necessary.'

Taekwoon nodded. "It shall be done," he confirmed.

'Thank you, Taekwoon.'

 

 

"Travelling through different dimensions is obviously going to take a lot out of you. It's surprising you're here in one piece, even."

"Right..."

"Everything probably still seems so unreal to you, but... hyung." He stopped, looking as if he was suppressing a wince. "You believe me, right? You know that I wouldn't lie to you, don't you?"

Jongdae didn't know how to respond. He wanted to say yes, to undoubtedly say yes, but there was something holding him back. Mentally, physically. The entire thing still felt unreal.

Jongin winced evidently at this. "I guess it's going to take some work then. Some evidence on our part. But," his voice trailed off into a soft waver. "The one thing I can promise you right now is that I'm entirely on your side and I'll do everything I can to make sure our parents are too, okay? I believe in you, hyung. You just have to believe in me too."

Jongdae kept quiet, assessing.

Jongin's entire demeanor was nothing if not earnest. He looked and sounded like the most reliable, trustworthy person on the entire planet in that moment. Like he'd never even consider the prospect of lying to Jongdae. "Can you do that, Jongdae?"

Jongdae nodded.

Jongin's smile was bright, genuine. "Then let's convince mother and father that you're you once and for all."

With a tentative step forward, Jongin turned to face their parents. The movement surprised Jongdae. It was so lithe and calculated, gentle even, going entirely undetected by their parents. 

Tittering forward himself, though a lot more haphazardly, Jongdae tugged on the younger's sleeve.

Jongin turned back to him, mildly surprised. "...Hyung?"

"Why are you...?" Jongdae shook his head, realizing he was making no sense. "What I mean is..."

Jongin waited, an apprehensive but tentative expression lining his features. "Yes?"

"Jongin, do you dance?"

There was a pause in which an array of expressions lined the younger's features. Confusion, worry, panic. Dread. "How..." he trailed off, stopping short. "How can you tell?"

Jongdae himself was filled with confusion. Why did Jongin seem to be panicking about it? "The way you carry yourself, for starters. Plus I guess... it's what I'm used to? The you from where I'm from, well, he dances too."

"I do?" Jongin shook his head as if to remind himself that the Jongin Jongdae grew up with after his disappearance was pretty much a different person entirely. "I mean, does he? Would that be a more correct way of wording it...? I mean he's me but... an alternate me?" He shook his head, a contemplative look morphing onto his features. "Perhaps he's impostor me, even."

Jongdae felt something sinister pass through him. An ever present need to defend Jongin, regardless of which version of Jongin that may be, or perhaps an uncertainty of some sort. "I... doubt that."

He didn't want to be uncertain about the reality of his own brother. He didn't want the memories of the younger to suddenly zap away and blur like the rest of what his prior reality had since arriving in this alternate zone.

He'd been able to recall things about Jongin that he'd lost the ability to for the rest of his prior reality. He didn't want that to suddenly disappear. He didn't want to have to doubt the authenticity of his own brother's existence. It was hard enough to have to doubt his own. To have to doubt his very own brother's... it was something Jongdae knew he wasn't prepared for.

The Jongin of the alternate realm glanced at him unsure, not looking entirely convinced.

"One thing I don't understand..." Jongdae chewed at the inside of his cheek. "If, like you said, the Jongin of my realm is an alternate version of you... then what happened to the alternate version of me? Who's not to say he's the one that went missing? That I'm right in thinking my reality is my own reality, and this one is the alternate one. That my existence back there is the true one and this is the... supernatural one? That I arrived here by some supernatural means or methods? And the alternate me is actually just missing in the forests or something?"

For a fraction of a second Jongin seemed to pale, and as much as Jongdae tried not to pick up on it, he did pick up on it.

"Better yet, dead?"

Jongin shivered at this. "Hyung," he said. "I don't care which form you come in, or which version I'm left with. So long as you're able to recall that you're my brother, so long that you're  _you,_  Kim Jongdae, that's all that matters. My brother from an alternate reality is still my brother, that's a fact that won't change."

Jongdae's eyes narrowed a fraction. "So you've taken it into consideration that the me that went missing here very well may still be out there, then?"

"It's hard not to, isn't it? I have to consider every variable."

"Then what if that is the case? Have you accepted that? Are you okay with that?" He stopped to take a breath. "And if yes, why is that?"

"Because, like I just said, you're my brother."

Jongdae shook his head at this, perhaps in a lack of understanding of how freely Jongin kept throwing those words around. "That's the part I can't understand, Jongin."

Jongin seemed taken aback. "Why not?"

"Either way, it's true that I'm your brother. No one can deny that. But if I'm right in thinking that my existence in the other reality was authentic, that it did exist... then..."

"Then what, Jongdae?"

"How can you so easily accept me? How can you so easily welcome me here, even if my real origin of existence is the other reality? If the space my existence takes up is meant to be taken up there? I've lived my entire life there, Jongin. Everything I've ever done, ever been is and was lived there. Experienced there. Every waking moment. Every conversation. Every ounce of energy. Every trial, every error. Each bond I'm in possession of was formed there. My entirety of existence belongs in that reality, Jongin.  _My_  Jongin is from that reality. And that's what is throwing me off. That's what I don't think you're taking into account. My Jongin is in that reality. The Jongin I grew up with. The Jongin who's experienced every side there is to me. The younger brother who has relied on me like no other. The younger brother who--at this present moment--is likely to need to rely on me more than any other time he ever has in his entire life and considering the things we've already been through, that's a big deal. He needs me, Jongin. How can you so easily take me away from him without even taking him into account?"

Jongin looked the other way, inspecting the wall. "You won't like my answer to that, Jongdae."

Jongdae held the younger's gaze. "Try me."

"I don't see it the way you do, hyung. You won't like my answer, hyung."

Jongdae's gaze didn't falter. "Like I said, try me."

Jongin appeared outwardly frustrated with his brother, not understanding why what he was saying didn't seem to be getting through. "I said--"

"And I said try me."

"Fine," the younger said, teeth gritted. "For starters I have no physical evidence that there even is an alternate Jongin to begin with."

"Just like I have no physical evidence that there's an alternate version of me either." Jongdae peered at Jongin. "But that's not all, is it? You've got more to say."

Jongin seemed to sigh, a sad attachment to his words and entire demeanor. "You won't like what I'm going to say, I can already tell, hyung."

"Try me," this time it was a lot softer, just as Jongdae's general demeanor had shifted as such.

"Your Jongin... how can I consider him to be me, Jongdae?  _I'm_  me. Just like you said with your supposed reality, I've lived my entire life here. Everything that I am was molded and made here. As much as I've always wondered about alternate realities, I've never really thought about an alternate me in said realities."

Jongdae seemed slightly perplexed, but it was clear Jongin wasn't done, so he didn't reply. Yet.

"Especially not one that had you within reaching distance at any given time."

Jongdae's eyebrows furrowed.

"Or maybe that's not entirely true. Of course I've wondered about us, hyung. About what would've come had you stayed with me in this reality. About what would've become of us had I eventually found you after you being missing for so long. But it... I'm not... I'm not ever the main focus in these things, Jongdae. And it's to be expected. No sibling who has lost another sibling wants to turn around and make it about themselves, you know?   
  I'm your younger brother and I'll admit that I've considered scouring every inch of the entire planet to look for you and that when we were on the lookout and searching for you, turned over every rock and stone and blade of grass and looked in every single crevice and crack I could find whilst clinging on to this sliver of pathetic hope that I'd eventually find you hiding somewhere... but it was never about my own personal gain or what I got out of it. It was always about you. About finding you. About bringing you back."

He stopped, casting his gaze elsewhere. "So why would I care about how some apparent alternate version of myself--whose existence I can't even prove--is coping? Why would I go out of my way to lead you back to said person... when after everything you've said and implied... I can tell that he's had a much better life than I have. Or ever will have, if you go back to him, that is. And..."

"And what, Jongin?" Jongdae's tone suddenly sounded eerily calm.

"From what I've inferred, why would I let you go back to a brother that doesn't even deserve you in the first place, hyung?"

Jongdae froze, swearing he'd just been splashed with ice water. "What?"

Jongin looked the other way, evidently nervous. "I told you you wouldn't want to hear it..."

"No," Jongdae then said, voice also sounding like ice. "Continue."

Jongin seemed to gather his composure at this, standing a little taller, as if he was confident of the point he was making. "Is it a lie, hyung? Am I wrong?"

Jongdae opened his mouth to speak but Jongin cut him off almost instantaneously.

"--With what you've implied this entire time... not only did you do your utmost best to raise alternate me, to make sure I survived and made it out of the monstrosities we faced in one piece... you sacrificed the entirety of your own childhood for me to ensure that I got one, right? Only for alternate me to turn around and act like I didn't need that, or that it wasn't appreciated. Pinnacle of it all is that alternate me repaid all of your effort and sacrifice and hard work by turning around one day and upping and leaving. Just like that. Without a word, without a warning.   
  I just can't seem to wrap my head around his not realizing just how much of a privilege he had to have you beside him for his every waking moment?   
To not have those godforsaken people I dub parents breathing down his neck every second of the day, to not have his vulture like eyes follow my every move and treat me like I'm nothing but the dirt lining his shoes, for the only way to impress him to flawlessly execute the end of a living being's life and act like there was no flicker of remorse within me... and I could go on in that area, Jongdae. But I won't. I'll save you the gritty details of what hunter life entails. Of what life with our parents entails."

He took a deep, shaky breath--be it from anger, from nerves, Jongdae had no idea. "If you honestly think living like this is better than what you had back there, Jongdae, you're sadly mistaken."

Jongdae stood motionless, taking it all in. He didn't know where to begin, how to react. Even how to process any of this.

Jongin shook his head, looking like he was in physical pain. Like the weight of the world had be dropped atop his shoulders in that moment, like he was fighting a losing battle. Like he'd already accepted that he was fighting a losing battle, but had to get his last words out even if they killed him.

"Not only does alternate me not deserve you, Jongdae. He  _stole_  you from me. And if you think for one second I'm going to let you run back to someone who refuses to acknowledge how much you've done for him, when I'm right here and would probably kiss the ground you're walking on if it were enough to make you stay, then you're also sadly mistaken. I've already lost you once, hyung. I don't want to have to go through that again. Even if that means keeping you away from myself. Or alternate me. Or whatever he is." His eyes seemed to cloud with a sheen, of what, Jongdae once again had no idea. He just knew it couldn't be good. "Impostor me."

It was quiet for several moments. Finally, Jongdae made a movement as he edged an inch closer. With a far-away sounding exhale said, "I can't recall going into that much detail with you at all about the entire thing, and I don't remember telling you exactly how my Jongin disappeared, especially not by which methods. But like I've been aware for some time now, I realize there's clearly something else to this thing entirely. And I want to know what that is." There was a pause. "Also, it wasn't out of freewill at all. Jongin was kidnapped."

"But to get to the point to be kidnapped means to leave your watch and guard, does it not? And he willingly did that."

Jongdae twitched at this, but was also completely perplexed. Where was Jongin getting this information? Why was he right?

"And like you said, yes, there's clearly something else going on here. And I'll tell you." He cast a glance at their parents. "After we convince them that you're you."

Jongdae narrowed his eyes in contemplation.

"Basically," Jongin said, seeming dejected. "The truth hurts. And I don't want to see a hurt you. I think you'll understand why I've kept what is actually going on here on the down low once it's out in the open, Jongdae. Just know that I do appreciate every single thing you've done for me, and I'd trade anything to have you by my side. To have you here with me."

Jongdae felt something prickle at his heart with the sincerity in the words Jongin spoke. Trying not to let it get to him too much, he nodded, deciding that if convincing their parents that he was their Jongdae was the only way to get the truth out of this situation, what other option did he have left?

"Follow me, hyung."

So he did.

 

"So..." Lilian trailed off. "Do you--" She wobbled on her feet and almost gasped, preparing herself for the worst possible outcome.

Taekwoon easily steadied her. "Stay on the pathway."

Lilian came to a halt instantly, nodding. "S-sorry." Watching Taekwoon walk, before cautiously mimicking his footsteps.

"You do not want to encounter these creatures face to face in their masses."

"You're right."

Taekwoon nodded. "You had a question? What was the question?"  
  
"It's just... it's the Woobin thing. You never answered and I'm still as curious as ever about it. In how he's the opposite side of the same coin and all."

Taekwoon took a breath, nodding. "Of course," he said.

'Wait a minute,' Daehyun cut in. 'Taekwoon, you are not going to make her guess?'

Taekwoon seemed to exhale an exasperated sigh. "Why would I do that? She has no existing knowledge of these topics, it would be setting her up for failure."

"Exactly what I've been saying this entire time. What kind of mentor--!"

"I can envision the affronted expression on his features right about now," Taekwoon piped in, lips quirking upwards.

There was a light scoff on the other end. 'Perhaps the communication is wavering. Notice how it is becoming this way after Taekwoon made it so we could all communicate in one? Taekwoon has never exactly been the most adept at technological matters, I must say.'

Taekwoon rolled his eyes. "Daehyun is also a sore loser, Lilian."

'Sore loser? I will have you know that--'

Lilian found herself smiling beyond her knowledge, enjoying this interaction between Daehyun and Taekwoon. Perhaps brothers were brothers, regardless of stature, regardless of realm. "Is there a way to put him on mute, Taekwoon, prove him wrong?"

She heard an evident gasp on the other end. 'Lilian!' 

 

"We're only joking, Daehyun. Now can I _please_ know what it is that Woobin specializes because my mind is blank. He's the opposite of you, Taekwoon, but also your equal. And you specialize in death, whilst he specializes in life but not exactly because he also works with death, right? And if you're the lighter power possessor of the two... yet you work with death... how does any of that make sense?--Even remotely?"

"It is much darker than you are seem to be comprehending, Lilian."

"Then what is it?!"

"Woobin specializes in manipulating death also, but rather than have a profound ability to  _take_  life like myself, he can _give_  it. Do you know what the term for this is called?"

"...I'm afraid I don't."

"It is referred to as necromancy. Woobin has the ability to raise the dead. To give life back into the dead. To communicate with the dead and so forth, from the realm of earth. And otherwise."

Lilian's mouth formed an 'o' shape. "Woah," she said, then nodded to herself when her train of thought zapped elsewhere. "So really  _She_ \--the Mother of all Evil--essentially should be working with Woobin if she wants to get somewhere? And instead got stuck with you being the void keeper person and is stuck in this place for eternity?"

"It intrigues and also worries me that this is your first thought, I must say."

'She is very quick to catch on, Taekwoon. Perhaps I should have warned you prior.'

"Perhaps."

Lilian however grinned, feeling accomplished. "So," she said. "That's two I've found the loophole of in one day! How many more of your brothers are left?"

"Two," was what Taekwoon said at the same second Daehyun said: "three".

"I guess there's also some form of discrepancy going on in your kingdom, too, then?"

"That is definitely a tale for another time," Taekwoon insisted. "Shall we proceed?"

Lilian eyed him wearily but then nodded. "I guess we shall."

 

"Mother, father." Jongin waited as their parents turned to face them, and as they did, witnessed a picturesque moment. They stood tall, smiles bright. As if they'd accepted that everything was once again right with the world, that everything was neatly slotting into place. From Jongin's perspective, it was puke-inducing.

But he knew it was what Jongdae longed for. He hated having to be the one to let his brother know how different they were from what he'd imagined. How different life was when he wasn't around.

Neither parent spoke, simply waited for Jongin to continue.

"Jongdae woke back up after his, uh, blackout." He indicated to Jongdae, who was absentmindedly observing the wall, seeming to be in a daze. "He has more to say."

As if one cue, Jongdae glanced up and met his parents' eyes. It was a confusing moment for him, because he could've swore he saw genuine hope and light behind their expressions. But it had left somewhat of a sour taste in his mouth, especially after what Jongin had been hinting at with them since arriving.

As much as it hurt to think about it, the proof was definitely there. The more he allowed himself to see, the more evident it became.

"Do you recall anything else, darling?" His mother's voice. He'd recognize it anywhere. He'd recognize  _her_  anywhere.

"I... just." He stopped to collect his thoughts, to try and word them concisely. "What specific areas are you wanting to know about? I've told you what happened to you both in my reality."

"Yes," their mother said, eyes saddening. "But what about... after that?"

Jongdae felt a prickle of annoyance bubble within him, something he couldn't understand or explain. "It's really hard to sum an entire life up in a few sentences, mother. Especially since the memories appear to be blurring and and twisting together and along with that rapidly leaving me since arriving here?"

"Can't you at least try?" Their father. "Just tells us what you can recall."

"But it'll be disjointed and potentially hard to believe for that said reason!"

"Like I said," Jongin said soothingly. "With what's happened Jongdae--finding yourself in an alternate dimension from the one you were yesterday... it's okay that things may come out a little disjointed, perhaps not in chronological order."

Jongdae was unsure. "Really?"

"Really," Jongin confirmed.

"So you really just want a verbal confirmation of memories that I do possess?"

"We just want confirmation that you're actually our son. Tell us something only you will know about."

"But that--" He shook his head. "If only I know about it, how will it make any of your understandings' easier?"

"I believe what he means is," it was Jongin saying this. "Say or recall something that is entirely individual and personally unique to you, that no monster or impostor could ever mimic or hold knowledge of, because they wouldn't know. Even if that means admitting to weaknesses. Or explaining unique little facts that seem redundant by lone standing, but when grouped together, make up more of you and your personality than you realize. It it doesn't work, there's always proof you're human by method of, well, blood, hyung."

Jongdae took a deep breath, avoiding eye contact. "That former sounds preferable."

Jongin smiled at him. "Yeah," he said, small smile on his lips. "It does. So remember to go all out; tell them something no monster could decipher. Something you've hidden in the very depths of your being, told no one but yourself about."

"Well," Jongdae began. "The day after the murder took place, the first thought on my mind was to pick Jongin up and carry us both to safety, no matter how far away that safety was, no matter how much walking or running it entailed to get there. I didn't care how much it would hurt me, I didn't care about injuries along the way, I'd planned to be the one to take them all--I'd planned to be the one to 'wrestle' with an animal, human or creature alike had it have to come down to that.   
  So long as Jongin got out of there without a visible scratch on him, so long as he arrived in one piece, that's all that mattered to me. It wouldn't have mattered that I was beyond exhausted and barely standing on my feet, I would've still offered to put Jongin on my back and escort him anywhere." He looked directly at their father this time. "Does that really make me irresponsible, father?"

Their father was quiet for some time. Finally, he shook his head. "No, Jongdae. It doesn't. Can I ask where it was you planned to go? What destination did you have in mind?"

Jongdae winced to himself. Now wouldn't admitting he didn't have a clear destination in mind make him seem irresponsible? He knew lying wouldn't get him anywhere, so had already adopted a full honesty approach. "I didn't," he said, clearing his throat and standing a little taller. "I was ready to seek refuge anywhere so long as we had close access to water to survive."

Surprisingly their father nodded. "So you made best of your circumstances. Did you seek refuge in the forests?"

A little taken aback, Jongdae nodded. "However," he found himself saying. "There is one regret I can recall about that memory that still haunts me to this day, something I believe an impostor wouldn't hold knowledge of, because I simply regret it that much that the authenticity of the shame about it can't be faked, not convincingly. It'd be a hindrance to an impostor to feel to the extent I do, and I've spoken it to soul, just kept it to myself, all this time."

Their mother looked saddened, heart aching at the thought of her son still finding something to be so regretful or guilty about when he did all he could to ensure both of them survived. As a mother, that's all she could've asked for. Jongdae sounded nothing short of a hero in her eyes. "What is that, darling?"

Jongdae's eyes were downcast. "The books," he said through gritted teeth. "They completely slipped my mind and I forgot to take them. And as much as it was about not wanting to disappoint father, it was also because of how much knowledge of this trade we were then left without.   
  About how many creatures I could know about in depth, but now have to figure out upon interaction. I never understood when I was younger why they were so important, but the older I get, the more I do understand.   
  A person can fill themselves with as much knowledge as they need, more than enough, even. A person can memorize all that they need to excel or just to get by. But when that one thing that they'll never be prepared for takes place... and they leave behind their written evidence and knowledge, who's to say they won't lose what they've already got memorized? Who's to say it won't jumble together and become disjointed throughout the course of life?--Memories lost through torture, even? Who knows.  
  When something terrible happens, as much as you want to think that life will carry on, that you'll get over it, it will always be present in the back of your mind. As much as you want to think you'll leave unscathed, you won't. It will always find its way back to you. Be it through night terrors, be it through the guilt of not doing this at this specific time or that at that specific time with the onslaught of thoughts of whether it would've made a difference. Be it through the constant reminder that your life isn't safe any more.   
  Regardless of means or methods, it will follow you. It will haunt you for the rest of your life. There's nothing anyone and anything can do to change or prevent that."

He took a sharp, semi-shaky breath here. "The worst thing on the planet is watching your parents be slaughtered in front of your eyes and think you're doing the right thing by escorting and escaping with your very young brother, only to realize years down the line that any form of revenge--better yet, a vengeance--won't be possible because as smart as you are, you'd never previously encountered the beings who arranged and went through with the killings so couldn't have memorized anything about them to begin with.   
  That you were left in the dark since the beginning, with their involvement. And the only thing that would've made it easier for you--the one thing that could've told you or at least guided you in the right direction, you left behind. And the realization that unless there's divine intervention somewhere, I doubt I'll ever find the specific perpetrators just seals the deal. Makes it _that_ much worse."

There was a pause as everyone processed this.

"Perhaps they're closer than they seem, even," it was Jongin who said this, but there was no readable expression on his features.

Jongdae kept his eyes downcast. "I don't doubt that. Especially when considering the fact that he was recently kidnapped. It's chilling to think about how long they could've been there, sneaking around in the dead of the night, watching and observing us. Laughing at us. Giving it years upon years to let us finally think we're free from them before they make their move, in the sneakiest, sliest way possible. Before they take everything. I never used to think it was personal, but the more time goes by, I'm starting to believe so. Also," he said. "I still have no idea what that personal vendetta or connection even is. What it was we--as individuals or as a family--even did for them to so solely want to destroy us all."

Jongin hummed. "I wonder." His eyes then seemed to sparkle, but Jongdae put it down to his imagination. "They do say apples don't fall far from the tree, no?" He then lowered his voice so only Jongdae could hear, "and if our parents were anything like they are now back then, I'm sure they must've done something to warrant it."

Jongdae felt an ice cold tremor run through him. "Yah," he whispered. "Please don't say that. I understand they may be different here, but that's exactly that. Back there, from what I can remember... they were nothing short of amazing."

Jongin's eyes seemed to cloud with sympathy. "You're right. I'm sorry, hyung. I keep forgetting that the love you feel for them must be unconditional. I'd probably be the same if someone tried to hurt or insult you or the memories I can recall of you."

Jongdae gave a slight nod, before turning back to face their parents, whose expressions were a mix of wonder, awe and what Jongdae could only describe as pain.

"I don't know if any of that was what you were searching for, but it's at least something, right? Like Jongin suggests, it would appear that I'm from an alternate dimension, and though I have no evidence to prove that I'm your Jongdae from this particular dimension, I'm still Kim Jongdae. And I'm not faking that. And if Jongin is right in his belief that when I got lost I found a loophole of some sort that made it so I ended up in a completely different dimension... then maybe I am that Jongdae. The Jongdae of this dimension. Please just know that I'm not an impostor and genuinely am Kim Jongdae. Your son."

Their parents nodded, looking quite dazed. As if everything they'd heard was hard for them to take in. But like Jongin had suggested, it really did seem as if they were opening up to the possibility of it the more time went on.

"And I guess there's one other thing?"

Jongin cast a sideways glance at Jongdae. "What's that, hyung?"

"Just like my memories of you don't seem to be fading, Jongin... there's another person in the exact same predicament."

Jongin nodded slowly. "And who's that?"

There was a slight pause. "His name's Yixing."

The pause from before he'd spoken could not compare to the pause that was to come after Jongdae had spoken. The entire room went deathly silent, and if it weren't for the negative expressions of his family wore instantly, Jongdae probably wouldn't have picked up on it so soon.

Their mother wore a wince, looking entirely pained. He saw regret, he saw shame.

Their father's expression was definitely more guarded, but he swore he could see remorse.

And Jongin? Jongin avoided all eye contact, keeping his gaze elsewhere. His eyes were burning with something that was once again undecipherable. But the minute he glanced up and looked at their father, Jongdae witnessed that same look of pure disgust and hatred he'd seen earlier. Gulping back what Jongdae could only presume was a lump in his throat, he glanced up and then met Jongdae's gaze straight on.  _"Zhang_  Yixing?"

Jongdae's stomach was swimming with anxiety, with nerves. He already felt panicked, and though he couldn't explain the reasons, he knew there were reasons.

He knew they weren't good.

He knew they were linked to Yixing.

"Y-yeah. Zhang Yixing." Deciding he'd face it straight on, he held his head up high, telling himself he was prepared for anything they'd throw at him. "So, go on. Tell me what your guys' connection is with him. You're all reacting as if there is one, and considering how important he is to me, I'm sure I should be let in on it."

Jongin genuinely winced this time, biting at his bottom lip harshly. "You won't like it, Jongdae." Both by the tone of his voice and his general demeanor, Jongdae could tell he was holding back. And what surprised him was the evident presumption that it was tears.

"Well I'd much rather be informed than left in the dark about it, so tell me. I deserve to know."

"Believe me," Jongin said emptily. "You _do not_ want to know."

Jongdae's eyes narrowed at Jongin. "What is your relation with Yixing in this dimension, Jongin? Tell me."

Jongin looked close to tears. "Hyung," he whispered. "Please don't make me answer that."

The nervous feeling from before tripled in its intensity. "Even if it's bad, Jongin..."

"Bad doesn't even begin to describe it," he'd said it all through gritted teeth. "Especially if you're close with Yixing." He took a shaky breath. "Are you close with Yixing?"

Jongdae didn't miss a beat. "I'm extremely close with Yixing."

Jongin placed his shaky hands inside his coat pocket, unable to meet his older brother's eyes. "You won't want to be near me, hyung. You'll never be able to look at me the same as before. There's no way you'll stay. Please don't make me answer that. Please, hyung. I'm begging you."

Jongdae closed his eyes, exhaling a shaky breath. Jongin's tone of voice sounded so... broken. He was legitimately pleading. But, another side of Jongdae's mind reasoned, this is Yixing. And Yixing was Jongdae's business. Anything that concerned Yixing concerned Jongdae, too. "You don't know that, Jongin."

"No, hyung," his voice was small, whisper-like. "Believe me. I _do."_

"Just tell me, Jongin."

"Hyung,  _please_..."

"I get that it may be hard to talk about or explain, but anything that concerns Yixing concerns me, too. So just tell me."

Jongin took a deep, shaky breath, keeping his gaze focused on anything but Jongdae. "Are you... are you sure, hyung?" Hands visibly shaking.

"I'm sure," Jongdae confirmed. "I want to know what your relation with Zhang Yixing is in this dimension, Kim Jongin."

Jongin gulped back another lump in his throat. "I..." he trailed off, face contorting in pain. His eyes were squeezed closed and it looked as if he was having trouble inhaling sufficient air. "I killed him."


	20. Blurry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tqxDUMcVjws

 Jongdae felt as though the oxygen he'd been inhaling had just been knocked out of his lungs, so certainly surprised himself when an incredulous bout of laughter resonated from within him. He glanced at his brother, whose expression was entirely macabre. Feeling his eyebrows fall into a furrow, he edged himself closer. "You're... serious?"

Jongin kept his gaze elsewhere, shifting his weight on his feet. "I wish with every fiber of my being that I wasn't, believe me."

"Jongin--" Jongdae began, aghast. "No. I mean... no. Yixing is... he's. You'd never -- at least not _willingly--"_ But found that no matter which angle he tried to portray it, the words wouldn't come out. He was at a loss for words, a loss of oxygen, even. The realm he'd ended up in differed to the one he'd previously known and he'd long since accepted that sequences of events were going to differ. Whether that be in a major sense, or a minor one.

But never in his wildest nightmares would he have expected his alternate universe brother to turn around and tell him he'd _killed_ Yixing.

Yixing -- the one person they'd allowed into the deepest crevices of their lives, after swearing they'd never allow such an instance to take place with anyone ever again. Not after losing their parents in such a brutal manner; knowing that any single being they could encounter could eventually turn out to be one of Them.

Yet Yixing had broken through all of that, and they were beyond assured that Yixing wasn't an enemy. That he was in no way affiliated with Them. So what on earth could have taken place that made it so Jongin saw Yixing as their enemy? Just how different were things in this realm?  
  
Jongin closed his eyes, seeming numbed. "Things are evidently different here, hyung. I..." He glanced back up at Jongdae, meeting his eyes for a fraction of a second. "I can go into more detail, if you'd wish." But his eyes were closed in the next second, words sounding strained. "If you _really_ want me to, that is."  
  
Jongdae nodded, looking ashen. He knew he had to get to the bottom of it, no matter how much it'd hurt to hear.  
  
Appearing to shiver at the recollection, Jongin nodded. "Yixing and I... we weren't acquainted. Not in the slightest."  
  
"Then how do you know his name?" Quickly cutting his younger brother off. "He doesn't give his name out to just anyone, Jongin."  
  
"I was going to get to that." Jongin took a breath. "We were scouting a nearby forest one misty morning. It was something we did on the regular. Foes appear there, they camp there. It's a forest that was once inhabited by exceedingly evil forces, a land they're trying to reclaim to this day. Sometimes they come in masses, other times in their very few. Yixing just happened to be at the wrong place in the wrong time." Jongin's eyes narrowed. "At least in the version father would have me tell you."  
  
Jongdae quirked an eyebrow.  
  
"But that version skips specific details, hyung. Fact of the matter was... he found us. Or rather, he found me. My back was to him, so I guess it wasn't that shocking of an instance. But do you know what he called me?" Jongin looked straight into Jongdae's eyes, his own looking haunted.  
  
Jongdae teetered lightly. "What did he call you, Jongin?"  
  
_"Jongdae."_ There was a pause as he mulled this over. "He called me Jongdae."  
  
"H-huh?"  
  
"He rushed up to me, demeanor and words entirely frantic. 'Jongdae we have to go, we have to get out of here'." There was a faraway look in Jongin's eyes. "I remember it like it was yesterday."  
  
Jongdae had frozen to the spot, eyebrows drawn in puzzlement.  
  
"You can only imagine the surprise that lined his features when I turned around and wasn't who he was expecting."  
  
"But you're taller than me, Jongin. Even with your back facing him, the fact that you're taller is still evident."  
  
"I was slightly crouched," Jongin said. "It's easily done. My hair is as black as yours. We are brothers, after all."  
  
"Well yeah, but... Yixing... he knows the differences."  
  
Jongin sighed. "In your reality, maybe. But not here, Jongdae. He never knew me on a personal basis. He never even knew I existed. Or at least, I thought so at first." Jongin let out a shaky breath. "He didn't recognize me like he knew me personally. He mistook me as you at first, and then... seemed to realize... there was a reason why. Maybe you'd described in detail what I looked like to him, maybe you spoke of me often, maybe you missed me as much as I've missed you. I don't know. I just know that the minute he realized I wasn't you, he realized I was me. And he... said my name after this realization dawned upon him. Almost sounded like I was a mirage, even."  
  
Jongdae nodded, before taking a deep breath and running his fingers through his hair. "And then...?" He wasn't sure he wanted to know. He knew however, that he had to delve deeper, get to the bottom of it.  
  
"Father wasn't that far away from us. He was within hearing vicinity. He asked me straight up if I knew Yixing and I... knew I couldn't lie. I didn't know his name, I didn't know his occupation, I knew next to nothing about him and yet he knew you, and he knew my name. Father seemed to skip over the fact that him mistaking me for you must've logically equaled to him knowing you--having met you at some point in recent years--and decided that Yixing was a well planned monster. A new breed we hadn't stumbled across up until that point." Jongin's eyes seem to shift around the room quickly. "As if he was monster that could warp reality to a degree. A monster that could... read minds as such. A monster that knew your existence because he'd stumbled upon me. Because he read my mind and transferred these reoccurring thoughts I'd had of you, and decided he could use them to his advantage."  
  
"Makes sense," Jongdae said, nodding. Surely there could be a being of such power lurking in the shadows? "But why didn't father believe Yixing could've known me?"  
  
Jongin raised an eyebrow at Jongdae. "Isn't the answer to that obvious?"  
  
"Probably..." Jongdae trailed off. "It's just... things aren't what they seem in this place, remember? I'm sorry if I..."  
  
"No, don't worry," Jongin said. "The answer to the question is that he'd already assumed you were dead. He'd accepted it as the only plausible explanation. He stopped searching. You were gone. We had to move on. No ifs, no buts, no negotiations. I'm sure you know full well why I couldn't do that. Why I couldn't adopt that same mindset."  
  
"Right," Jongdae said, peering at Jongin. "So what did you tell him?"  
  
"I don't interact with people outside of our immediate family, Jongdae hyung. I should get that out of the way beforehand. Father knew I didn't know him. Father knew there was no possible way I could. I was practically reclusive since the day you didn't return. It took me months upon months to even talk to our parents after you left. As much as you may not want to hear it, losing you... broke something in me. It set me back several notches. I don't know how your Jongin reacted to the apparent loss of our parents, but I know full well how I reacted to losing you. The only thing I had going was the fragile hope that I would find you. Alive. That you truly were just missing and not dead. And father... used that against me every chance he could. Because he thought--well, actually, I don't what he thought--that that would help me develop as whatever the hell it is we are."  
  
"One second," Jongdae cut in. "Can I ask what that is? What we are?" He always wondered how their lives would've turned out had they not lost their parents.  
He was expecting an answer like _hunter._ Someone that rid the world of evil. Someone with a goal of purifying the world of evil.  
  
Yet Jongin said: "Murderers." And didn't elaborate any further. "So I truly had no way to lie around the situation. There was nothing I could've said or made up that would make the situation make sense. I didn't know Yixing. I knew you, and I knew our parents. And was legitimately as far as my social circle went. So father was decided. Yixing was an enemy. A new enemy. And father decided Yixing was going to be my very first kill. Alone."  
  
Jongdae paled. "You mean he..."  
  
"Forced me to kill a man? Forced me to kill a man who turned out to be entirely innocent and was likely the only lead I had left to tracing back to you? Believe me." The look in his eyes was beyond empty. "He did." There was a short pause. "And when he bled like a human, he found a way to justify that too. I got a pat on the shoulder from father. A look that said, 'welcome to the rest of your life'. No ounce of remorse, of guilt. Of doubt. And then when we went home, he continued to blank out my existence. Especially when the nightmares started."  
  
Jongdae halted, dread washing over him. "You mean..."  
  
"Is it the same with you, too?"  
  
Jongdae nodded, looking like he wanted to melt into the ground. Of all the things he'd thought they'd escape in another dimension... and they hadn't? The nightmares still found a way to get through?  
  
"Have you ever killed a man, Jongdae hyung?"  
  
"I... I'm trained to." The was a pause. Numerous creatures, probably helped speed up the process of death for some humans non intentionally; poison sprinkled so their trails couldn't be found, diseased animal carcasses left in vicinity if they weren't edible, but they'd never been caught or purposely trailed after, so had no reason to kill a human in cold blood or broad daylight, much as they had that kind of training under their belt. It was something Jongdae thought about often, the day when that was going to change, and how soon its arrival was intended to be. "Currently however, no. I have not."  
  
"Then I pray with every fiber of my being that you don't ever have to. Especially if you already have nightmares. There is nothing as monstrous as feeling the life slip out of someone. Watching the light leave their eyes. And knowing you're the reason why." Jongin then looked saddened as he turned back to gaze at Jongdae. "Ah," he whispered, the realization dawned on him some time ago, now deciding it was time to voice it. "You'd always imagined that we'd escape them if our parents survived, didn't you?"  
  
"T-them?" He choked out. "You mean..."  
  
Jongin quirked an eyebrow. "The nightmares."  
  
"A-ah. Right." He cleared his throat. "The nightmares. I did." He sounded as numb as Jongin did prior. "But the way you describe the entire thing makes it sound like..."  
  
"Like I've had it even worse?" The haunted look from before returned. "You're right there, hyung."  
  
"Jongin..."  
  
"Which is why I can't feel pity for your Jongin. It's why I can't just turn around and let you go back to him. He willingly left you, hyung. In a way I never would. He took the one person I needed most from me and left him. And I'm not okay with that." Jongin looked like he was doing everything in his power to stop his palms shaking. "I shouldn't have to be okay with that."  
  
"Jonginnie..."  
  
"Your lives may have been difficult without our parents, but you still have one thing I never did."  
  
Jongdae knew exactly what the younger was going to say, and couldn't hide his wince at the arrival of the words.  
  
"You have each other." He glanced at his shaking palms. "And Yixing too, apparently."  
  
Jongdae cleared his throat. "There's, um, actually another as well."  
  
Jongin met Jongdae's eyes curiously. "There is?"  
  
"He's uh... he's helped a lot too. I never seem to give him enough credit, which is a recent discovery of mine. There's something about him that I... lately... I know he doesn't mean it. It's not even intentional. It's just... he's so... gentle. He's carried all of our burdens, yet he makes it seem like a breeze. There's a quality in him I imagined would be in our mother. And it... confuses me. But I'm not sure if it's confusion. Not really. It doesn't always make me feel good, though. Sometimes I snap. Honestly, he shouldn't be with us, he deserves a better life, he could have the better life. And yet--"  
  
The curiosity didn't seem to lessen any. "His name?"  
  
"Luhan."  
  
"Luhan?" The syllables slipped off Jongin's lips like poetry. "That's a... pretty name."  
  
"He's a pretty person, I guess. But not just in looks, in what he is. You'd probably like him."  
  
Jongin sent Jongdae a curt smile. "Ah," he said. "I'm not really all that good at interacting with people, hyung."  
  
"It's interesting though, because when younger you first met Luhan--"  
  
"Should we carry on?"  
  
Jongdae blinked, taken aback at the abrupt interruption. A second later, realized that the Jongin standing before him probably didn't want to hear lighthearted tales about his 'other' Jongin and about their time together. That he'd already made it clear he viewed the situation as his 'other' Jongin taking him--Jongdae--away. Stealing him. "R-right. Of course."  
  
Jongin turned back to him. "You trust me, don't you, hyung?"  
  
Jongdae nodded feebly, his Yixing was still out there, a clarity washing over him, assuring him. Jongin too. Clearly this dimension... he was going to find his way out. Even if that meant playing along with this... other Jongin. For as long as it took to find his escape route.   
  
"Yet I still sense such hesitance?" Jongin seemed to coil away somewhat, as if this discovery hurt him.  
  
"Jongin, I--"  
  
He then nodded to himself, as if to convince himself all hope wasn't yet lost. "Don't fret too much about it, hyung. I know it's a lot to take in. Usually I'm very patient, but... it's not every day your missing brother returns to you in one piece, is it? All I've ever wanted, all I ever dreamed of for these past years... he's standing in front of me. I... I always believed the thought of this very day was what kept me moving forward. It's kind of in a younger brother's nature to look up to their hyung, isn't it? Father doesn't like that, he says it makes me weak. Does that make me weak, hyung?"  
  
"No," Jongdae instantly said. "It doesn't make you weak. Not at all. And Jongin...?"  
  
Jongin glanced up at met the elders' eyes. "Yes, hyung?"  
  
He took a deep breath. If he gave him what he was asking from him, the defenses would lessen. He could forge an escape route, come up with a detailed plan to help this Jongin find his missing Jongdae. He couldn't steal said Jongdae's life, and he couldn't abandon his own Jongin, nor Yixing, nor Luhan. They needed him. "I do trust you."  
  
The smile Jongin sent him afterwards was so light, so freeing, that Jongdae had to question if he'd ever -- in all of his years -- seen his Jongin smile that way, so openly admit to admiring him. His Jongin had never seemed to verbalize it, but it was as if Jongdae knew, even without words, that the younger still admired him in his own little way. Maybe not as obviously as when they were younger, but it was still there. He just didn't know how to go about verbalizing it, which this Jongin seemed to know exactly how to do so.  
It was different.  
  
But not ominously. Arguably.   
  
Rather in a way that made Jongdae feel guilty, almost. Was it on him that his brother had a difficult time verbalizing his admiration? Was his little brother weary of showing this side of himself to the elder because of something Jongdae had done in their reality? Something he'd instilled within his head? A fear that he always had to be strong, no matter the circumstances?  
  
Jongdae was aware he'd pushed conflicting mindsets onto the younger. That as much as he was sure the younger could make up his own mind, Jongdae had been his primary caregiver for the longest stretch of time. And that the younger a person was, the more susceptible they were. The more likely they'd be to follow conflicting whims without question. Allow mindsets that were directed their way in times of stress or confusion to linger, to sink into their mechanisms.  
  
Jongin was allowed to show a weaker side, if need be. Jongin was allowed to solely rely on the elder, if need be. He was allowed to ask for help. They were allowed to work things out as a team. They were all the other really had, at least in family terms.  
  
Jongdae just hoped Jongin knew that. Wherever he was currently.  
  
Jongdae was then struck by the sudden and debilitating thought of never getting to see his Jongin again. Allowing his mind to spin with thoughts of what could happen to Jongin and Luhan now that he was aware they were in the hands of Them. They had already butchered their parents. They now had Jongin and Luhan captured. If They knew who Jongin was... there was no way he'd make it out alive.  
  
Perhaps following this Jongin's suggestions and living a day -- or few weeks -- as his missing variant self was the only way to get of this place. If he could convince his parents that he was their missing son, be allowed back into the family, perhaps that would make it easier to find answers. To figure out exactly how he ended up there. And how to get back to his, well, reality.  
  
He then shivered as a random, but not entirely illogical possibility coursed through his mind.  
  
"Hyung," there was a slightly humored tone to Jongin's words. "Zoned out again?"  
  
Jongdae glanced up at him, eyebrows furrowed. Was that what it was? "Am I...?"  
  
Jongin quirked an eyebrow. "Are you what, hyung?" There was lulling tone to the younger's words, coaxing. Calming.  
  
Jongdae relaxed a little. He shook his head. "Never mind. It's probably nothing." Though he couldn't help but feel like there'd been a shift in the air. That Jongin had noticed it too.  
  
"Shall we?"  
  
Jongdae nodded wearily, wondering why this thought from before seemed to be making a lot more sense. He wondered where it came from, and why it was appearing now, seemingly hours after he'd ended up at this place.  
  
If it was the case, wouldn't Luhan have ended up there, too?  
  
He was probably overthinking it.

  
"Jongdae," his father choked out, almost looking aghast.  
  
Jongdae met his father's eyes, disgruntled at the souring he felt in the pit of his stomach when their eyes met. For so long he'd wished to have this. Wished to have his family. All three of them. Together. Alive. But in no universe or variant did he want their father to have forced the things he had in this one upon Jongin. As much as this realm's Jongin he still felt affection for, his affection for his very own father was fluctuating. "Hm?"  
  
The harshness he'd seen before seemed to have lessened. "Is it really you, son? Did you really come back to us?"  
  
Jongdae shrugged nonchalantly. "Supposedly." There was humor behind the move, also truth, because Jongdae still had little to no idea what was really going on and much to his surprise, his father laughed.  
  
He looked on affectionately at his son. Just the way Jongdae remembered. "You're really back, aren't you?"  
  
"Like I said just then, supposedly."  
  
"But you're really back, aren't you? And you won't be leaving us this time, will you?"  
  
Jongdae quirked an eyebrow at this, turning to Jongin in confusion. This all felt like deja-vu, suddenly.  
  
"He wants it confirmed," Jongin prodded, gently. "Can you confirm it for him, Jongdae hyung?"  
  
"How do I do that?"  
  
"Verbally," Jongin continued. "Just tell him -- tell us -- that yes, you're back. That you intend to stay. Words have a lot of power, it seems."  
  
But this was what was confusing Jongdae most. Why was Jongin -- his father now as well, it seemed -- so adamant about verbal confirmation. Wasn't his presence and prior evidence that he was in fact Jongdae enough evidence that he was back? Why did he need to verbally confirm it also, time and time again?  
  
He wasn't sure of much in this place, but of all things, there was something that wasn't too right about that.  
  
"I don't get that," he finally whispered. "I don't get why you keep bringing it up either."  
  
Jongin quirked an eyebrow.  
  
"This verbal confirmation thing. It keeps being brought up. I don't... understand." He peered at Jongin closely. "There's still a lot more to this than you're letting me in on, isn't there?"  
  
Jongin's expression seemed to sadden. As much as Jongdae believed the younger would vehemently deny it or put on an act of confusion, he didn't. "I guess when one becomes enlightened about their circumstances, there's nothing that can be done to undo the process. Nothing I say will convince you of otherwise now, will it?"  
  
Jongdae blinked.  
  
"Minutes ago," Jongin began, now being the one to peer at Jongdae closely. "I watched how your expression changed. I watched you consider the prospect, then deny it. I understand. It's a difficult prospect to accept hyung, I know I reacted the same way. But with time, it gets easier. I fought so hard to get back to you. Truly, I did. But fate has its own way of panning out. And it seemed we were to meet again, much sooner than either would realize."  
  
It felt like Jongdae had been splashed with cold water when the realization of the words sunk in. "I..." He drew out a long breath. This shouldn't have been making as much sense as it was doing. "I think I..." He shook his head. "I think I prefer the other version."  
  
"The other version?" Jongin sent Jongdae a dismayed glance. "That wasn't an elaborate lie on my part, hyung. This is exactly how our lives would've panned out, had our parents survived that night. When I first arrived here, I was as confused as you. Then I had to live this reality, and I had to have it repeated. Again and again. To the point where I stopped questioning it, even started to believe it. That it was my reality. When you came here and mentioned your Jongin, I wasn't just saying what I said for the sake of it. It was exactly how alternate Jongin would've reacted, had he know another version of him had gotten to grow up with you. You're a touchy subject for him." Jongin then blinked. "I can only imagine how difficult this would've been had our positions been switched. I'd never put much flack into my view of our parents. I cared about them, of course I did, but I didn't dream of the reality with them that you did, Jongdae. Having to live through this has probably crushed something within you and for that I'm sorry. Truly sorry."  
  
Jongdae tried to ignore the latter mentioned. It wasn't something he wanted to openly discuss right now. "But if what you're saying now is the case, why would you just go along with it? Why wouldn't you keep fighting for, well, you to pull through? And if what you last implied is also true, if you had a choice in this, why didn't you keep fighting?" He knew his voice had fallen into a broken whisper by the end, but even the alternate universe option was easier to accept than this. This couldn't be possible.  
  
Jongin's eyes saddened. "I tried." He kept his gaze elsewhere. "Then I remembered how we parted. Everything had begun to lose its meaning. How could I go on with you hating me, hyung? There's only so much fight a human body can take up against supernatural creatures. I was overpowered and had nothing left to fight for. Death enveloped me like a blanket at first, a sense of security, something solid to hold onto. Until it felt like drowning, a thick burning sensation in the back of my throat, as if each exhalation of breath had been sucked out from my lungs in a methodological pattern, until I was choking on the taste of my own blood. Until I ended up... right here."  
  
"That's utter bullshit," Jongdae ground out, referring to the aforementioned. "You, as well as anyone, damn well know brothers fight. You couldn't count the amount of times we've fought over the years on both hands. If you think a stupid argument is going to stop me from considering you as a brother--" He took a deep, shaky breath. "I don't believe it. You might've been presenting a viable case before, but whatever this is, whatever you are... you're not my brother. You can't be."  
  
"You just don't like what I'm saying," Jongin whispered. "You're going through a denial phase. I was the exact same. Many people are."  
  
"Something's off," Jongdae insisted, beginning to pace. "I knew from the moment I arrived here that something was off, but it's intensified. Something's truly off, Jongin. You and I both know it."  
  
"And I'm not denying it. You just have to realize that what it is, is the very last thing you want it to be."  
  
Jongdae opened his mouth to protest, but was cut off.  
  
"You want the truth? The honest to god truth?"  
  
Jongdae nodded.  
  
"I'll give you the truth. Just know it isn't nice. No matter which angled it is viewed. The more you let your mind process it, the more the variables add up. Follow me."  
  
Jongdae did so, wearily. He then noted that their parents were following behind, but nothing of their expressions seemed to imply that they'd heard Jongin and Jongdae's previous conversation. They'd gone from reacting, interacting, to following along, almost motionless.  
  
Jongin sat everyone down at the table. He turned towards his parents, gave them a nod. Their eyes seemed to shine with a love and adoration that Jongdae could vaguely recall.  
There was a warmth to both of them he could suddenly pick up on that had been lacking before.  
  
Like the alternate universe parents had vanished and been replaced with the parents he'd lost that night. The parents he got a measly nine years of life with. His parents.  
Not his alternate universe variant parents.  
  
"So what is it?" Jongdae asked, cutting straight to the chase. He was terrified of the answer, more so now than ever, as it was all starting to click in place.  
  
"This is..." Jongin paused. "Obviously our parents are dead. They've been dead since we were but 7 and 9 years of age."  
  
Jongdae nodded.  
  
"I went missing. It hasn't been long since I've been missing. You found out that I'd been kidnapped by our most fearful of enemies." He paused again, peered at Jongdae curiously. "You took it upon yourself to seek me out most recently, didn't you? To go on a journey of your own, alone. A dangerous thing to do."  
  
Jongdae seemed to be able to recall that. He nodded.  
  
"And now we're all here. What is the most logical thing to assume, Jongdae?"  
  
Jongdae took a deep breath, shaking his head. He then let out a nervous sounding chuckle. "There's a lot of possible outcomes--"  
  
"Don't lie to yourself, Jongdae. It gets a lot easier to accept once you stop lying to yourself."  
  
Jongdae felt himself grow cold. "But that's not... it's not possible."  
  
"For you to accept it," Jongin amended, speaking as if this was casual dinner talk. For them, it probably was, but Jongdae was becoming a little too aware of the contrast between a set table, and his brother and he talking about alternate universes and... "And what, hyung? You're almost there."  
  
Jongdae's eyes shot up to meet Jongin's. Had he just... read his mind?  
  
"Your face said it all," Jongin amended. Then sighed. "Which is a lie. It's an ability one can adopt the more they practice it. Stagnancy in a place like this would only allow me to react to certain phrases, words, or situations. It's very easy to lose control of oneself in this place. You need to keep on top of yourself. But don't mind me, finish that thought. Better yet, verbalize it. Verbalizing a thought gives it more power than it should technically possess."  
  
Jongdae met Jongin's eyes head on, an intensity behind the gaze that wasn't there prior. "Then you're not dead."  
  
"The thought must be backed up by literal reality. What's already done cannot be undone. As much as I wish your words were true, they're not."  
  
"I don't believe it," Jongdae insisted. "None of this is real. It can't be. There's a loophole. There's a plothole, there's something that isn't what it seems, right? This place runs on  
that. You're not dead."  
  
"One can run on denial for several weeks. It gets a lot easier once you accept it."  
  
Jongdae wanted to verbalize his denial, but decided he'd put it off for a minute. Or until he found out what was truly going on. What this little gathering meant. Why Jongin had let him in on their alternate lives, what flicked the switch between the play out of their alternate lives and an acknowledgement that their parents were actually dead, and that he was re-meeting them wherever they currently were.  
  
Why he was meeting Jongin here.  
  
Jongin wasn't dead, Jongdae was sure of it.  
  
"For you former query," Jongin began. "It was to show you that your romanticized version of our family would not have become reality. The knowledge of that was a necessity. There was no lie, nor exaggeration behind it. If our parents hadn't have died, our lives would've panned out that way. Your deepest desire, it was what you wished for at heart. That was how it would've panned out. Proof we were destined for other things."  
  
Jongdae didn't feel comfortable with this knowledge. "Right," he finally whispered. "So what does this mean?" Signalling towards their little family gathering. "What's the underlying principle here, Jongin?"  
  
"You won't like it," Jongin warned.  
  
"I'm sure I can handle it."  
  
"As you wish," Jongin said, casting a glance at his still immobile parents, then back at Jongdae. "Us three, we're dead. You're dying. You've been blessed with a chance very few receive, most die before it can manifest. You have the option to trade places with one of us, exchange your life for ours. You can, of course, choose to save yourself, but if you choose that option, you have to get out of here alone. None of us would be able to guide you back. I can't make your decision for you. I also have to be objective about it. Time is ticking however, hyung. So please choose wisely, if you decide to choose at all."  
  
Jongdae's mouth opened and closed repeatedly. It was a lot to process. He then chuckled, the sound strangled. "What kind of sick joke is this?" He asked, turning to face the three members of his family. "I have to pick who gets to live? Out of my three favorite people in the world? Just like that? And if I choose myself have to go on with the knowledge that my baby brother is apparently dead, just like that?"  
  
"I'm sorry you had to find out this way, hyung. Truly, I wish there was an alternative."  
  
"There is," Jongdae choked out. "I'm going to wake up right now this second and realize it's all just some majorly messed up dream that..." He pinched himself, steadily added more pressure as the seconds went by. "Nothing's changing. Why isn't anything changing."  
  
"Because it's real, Jongdae." There was a pause. "It's real and you have to make a decision. Soon."  
  
"What happens if I don't?"  
  
"We'll all die. All be classified as dead."  
  
Jongdae nodded, looking very demure all of a sudden. It was horrible to consider, but if it was his only option... his only chance to have his family together again... "Would we all be together that way?"  
  
Jongin was quiet for a while. "I can't answer that. I have no way of knowing."  
  
Jongdae sent Jongin a dubious glance. "Then how are you all here, together? You've been through this already, haven't you? Surely you know what happens after death."  
  
"This place is a void, Jongdae. The inbetween area, neither here, nor there. Holds you in place until you're ready for the next 'adventure', as such. Dangerous, but dangerously  
neutral. Virtual nothingness that has been stacked full of those that are also in between; realms, life, death. Nothing solid to cling onto, just static noise, noise from faraway, from lives lost. Cries of the dead, the undead, the soon to be dead. They never stop. Screaming, crying, clawing, fighting. It warps brains, warps character. Throws everything you've ever known on its head. From the research I've conducted on the inhabitants since getting here, they seem to go one of two routes: stagnant or malevolent. I've found a third, which has allowed me to slot nicely into neither category, allowed me to keep hold of my prior intelligence and memories to some degree, but I'm not super human, Jongdae. I don't know what killed me, I can't remember how or who I was with. I just know I've been here longer than yourself and having to choose between my mother and father was..." Jongin's eyebrows furrowed. "Not something I was capable of doing. Had you been there, the choice would've been easy, flick of a switch, I would've exchanged places with you. But you weren't. So here I am, and here they are. Trapped."  
  
Jongdae had truly wished that didn't make sense, because for the first time since getting there, he'd thought he'd found the loophole. A way of convincing himself that the Jongin before him wasn't actually his brother.  
  
Until it hit him. "Wait a minute," he said.  
  
Jongin glanced up, curious.  
  
"If near death experiences are experienced the same way, which I presume they would be, and we end up here. Not like the other occupants, rather half here. And we relive and see our deepest wish in its most realistic form... and we have a chance to save a person of our past who has already passed on... or ourselves..."  
  
Jongin nodded.  
  
"And whilst you not choosing between mother and father makes a ton of sense, surely as Jongin, my Jongin, my younger brother, the one I've tried my hardest to raise since our parents' death..." He took a deep breath. "And you had the option to give your live up to save a parent or save yourself, and in such, return to me... and you didn't? You're genuinely saying as my little brother, you _chose_ to leave me? To die?" Jongdae's gaze was sharp. "I'm sorry but I'm finding that quite difficult to believe."  
  
Jongin seemed to pale. But it was gone the next moment. "I left thinking you hated me, Jongdae hyung. I thought it was better off this way."  
  
Jongdae shook his head. "You've presented an apt case for yourself thus far, but I know for a fact my brother -- regardless of how difficult it would be, or how badly our relations were in our last meeting -- would do all it took to return to me. Maybe my view of your authenticity has plummeted, supposed Jongin. How do we get around this obstacle, I wonder?"  
  
"I wouldn't lie to you," Jongin insisted. "And I can't make you trust me, especially if you're in the denial phase. I know that if our positions were switched I'd try find any loophole to convince myself you're still alive, also. But if hurts that much..." Jongin chewed at his lip nervously. "You could bring me back, hyung."  
  
There was another pause. "But to act like I'm your only option, would be to lie to you. You can save mother or father instead, if you'd prefer. You could save none of us and instead save yourself, you could join us here, if you wish to. I can't make the decision for you, hyung."  
  
"And that's the honest truth?"  
  
Jongin nodded. But then looked at his palms. "And hyung?"  
  
Jongdae held eye contact, urging him to continue.  
  
"I didn't tell you before because no matter how I look at it, I've failed you. I chose me, for the exact reason you said I would. But as I said, once you choose to save yourself you have to make it out of here alone and I... I failed, hyung. I got arrogant and I failed. And it's something that cost me my life."  
  
Jongdae let out a deep, shaky breath. "Okay, say that it was what went down. Can you tell me how I... go about saving one of you?"  
  
"You take a hold of one of our hands and verbally confirm your consent. Procedures can't continue until you do."

 

 

"Do you see him?" Taekwoon asked, though he did not turn to face Lilian directly. "Perhaps sense him, if I am to assume you belong to the same alignment?"

Though it was not Lilian who replied. 'Even if they are of the same alignment,' Daehyun had said, though he made no move to confirm this. 'Chen has not accepted the bond, he has no present idea that he is to be aligned, nor even what we are, brother. Lilian will not sense him under these circumstances. We must rely on sight or sound alone, I am afraid.' There was a pause. 'I note that Lilian has gone quiet. Is everything okay?'

"She is confused," Taekwoon said, turning to face her directly. "The seriousness of the situation is likely dawning upon her. The travel catching up with her. And evidently she has become," as he peered at the dark haired girl, he watched in slight amusement as she contemplated moving a step back, before realizing exactly where it was she happened to be, and that very step could be the difference between life and death. "Forgetful."

Lilian blinked at him.

"Evidently my lessons are not sticking for you."

"Hm?"

"It is highly probable Chen is miles upon miles away from where we are situated. But that could all be altered with what exact teaching, Lilian?"

Lilian blinked, mind going blank. He suddenly seemed a ton more intimidating than he had prior, and considering how intimidating he seemed prior, it was quite the feat. She'd spoken the answer with him prior, she was sure she had. So why wasn't anything coming to mind? Instead she found herself mindlessly muttering, "With Daehyun it was harder to tell that he's otherworldly upon first glance; maybe because that was on earth, and he's purposely disguising himself, and apparently if you're seeking the guidance of a particular one of your... kind, they blend in easier, and you find yourself naturally gravitating towards them in a sense you may not even realize, though to others they appear to stick out like a sore thumb. But you can't blend in easier, especially not in a realm like this, you're the most non human you're ever going to be -- besides in your home... land? -- so obviously," she was certain she'd included some facts she'd memorized about their kind in there, but now had to link it back to Chen, which was throwing her off. She wasn't even sure if she'd interpreted the question correctly, nor why things suddenly felt hazy. "And Chen... Chen's scared of you because his threats can't affect you. There are no trees to tie you up against also, so he's run away--" She furrowed her eyebrows. "This isn't making any sense, is it?"

Taekwoon only chuckled.

"I'm sorry," she muttered, rubbing her temple in apprehension. "What was the question again, if I may ask?" If Chen was in worse wear than she was prior to departing and had spent much longer in the void than she had, Lilian dread to think of the state he'd currently be in. She hadn't been there long, hadn't put herself in dire circumstance prior, hadn't gone out of her way to interact with inhabitants, and yet it still found ways to mess with her mind.  
  
"Chen is miles upon miles away from where we are situated. What do you have to do to get closer to him, much, much faster than travel by foot?"  
  
"I know the answer, and it's there, in the back of my mind. But for some reason I can't seem to draw it out of me, why is that? It's ridiculously frustrating."  
  
"Because you are unprepared. Because you are human. Because humans are ill-equipped for such a realm. You and your kind are not yet at the capacity to handle such frequencies and stay in one solid piece. Had you been left unattended, you would be in dire circumstances. Please take this into your findings that it is very easy to stagnate in a realm such as this, regardless of race. You must keep sharp, on top of yourself. You must hold onto the knowledge you are given and already in possession of, know that any further findings are finely decorated poison, and are simply that. A realm like this wishes to manipulate you, throw everything you know on its head." He took a breath. "So being you, Lilian, and willingly throwing yourself into the firing line as admirable as it may be... it is genuinely dangerous. I realize he saw no other option, but Daehyun should not have allowed you to go through with this. I would have had no issue carrying it out alone."  
  
Lilian's eyes widened at the use of Daehyun's name, knowing he had other reasons why he'd accepted it, that it was the best course of action. But he wasn't replying, he wasn't defend his decision. "I can't hear him any more," she said frantically. "The voice I was hearing... it's stopped."  
  
"Do not fret," Taekwoon said reassuringly. "Sometimes the connection fades. There are frequencies interrupting at any given moment, we have certainly just passed a traffic heavy zone. Along with this, the closer we get to the object of interest, the more it fades out of sheer necessity. You need to be at your utmost alert around the object of interest. Know he is still there, that we are of the same kind and I am not a threat. I will not bring harm upon you."  
  
Lilian blinked, as a very palpable sense of clarity washed over her, one that had evidently been missing prior. "Has something happened to me?"  
  
"You are entering a state of confusion. It is only natural but it can lead to dire circumstances, Chen has fallen victim to it, almost instantly it will have taken place for him. The temperatures here are much colder than you are used to, the frequencies unlike anything you have witnessed prior. The ground which you walk, you keep expecting yourself to fall through, to the point where you could easily make that a reality. One wrong step, one stumble, and you will. The inhabitants passing are picking up on the scent of life that until this very day did not exist, and Lilian believe me when I say they are ravenous."  
  
Lilian felt herself grow cold.  
  
"So you must place your hands by your side. Do not move them, do not in any fraction lean backwards or sideways. Move only forwards and directly follow my lead."  
  
Lilian did as instructed.  
  
"Better yet, hold onto me." Noting how she looked afraid to make even one wrong move, Taekwoon gently took hold of her hands and placed them so she was holding onto him. "Know it will get worse before it gets better."  
  
Lilian still daren't move an inch.  
  
"Do not fret when this takes place, as it will happen as we move, specifically out of this area of safety, as such. It will be daunting, it will come on quickly. Please know that if at any point you wish to return to your home realm, simply state so. I will make it possible and continue to carry this task out alone." With this, he moved forward, Lilian in tow.  
  
She shivered, trying to disguise the chattering of her teeth. "I c-can't." Though a tremor of such strength passed through her, she contemplated the thought for a second. "Not only did I promise Daehyun, I volunteered to be the one to do this. You had no say in this and have to clean up the messes we brought on ourselves, so to leave it solely to you is unfair. As you said it's a natural reaction for a human in such a realm, so surely it passes, I just, honestly, I don't understand--" She winced a gust blew by, at such speech it whipped against her cheeks. Sounds she hadn't picked up on before were infiltrating her senses, suddenly the surroundings didn't feel so weightless, it was almost difficult for her to get a breath out. "--What it is I'm supposed to do once we get there."  
  
"Lilian," Taekwoon said, quickly forcing her upright, holding her closer to him. "Do not turn around."  
  
It was as though she already knew what was taking place. She could feel the change in the atmosphere, she could feel the presence floating beside her. Hear its sharp, heavy intake of breath as it edged closer. It made no other sound but she knew, somehow she knew it was fixated, that somehow it had picked up on her scent. Its presence so heavy, its mass much more than hers, maybe even Taekwoon's. She glanced up at him, noted how he wasn't reacting in the way she was and tightened her hold. He knew how to deal with these creatures, he knew how to make them go away. She was safe so long as she didn't let go, but knowledge of that didn't combat the fear that was seeping into her bones. "Taekwoon," she whispered, feeling herself on the brink of tears. "I'm too young to die."  
  
"You will not die, I assure you. It is the very last thing I will allow to take place. Do not look at it, do not entertain it. Stay stock still, it will pass."  
  
"It's t-touching me," she whispered weakly, forcing her eyes shut. "And it's like-- it's whispering, like it can taste the life form on me."  
  
"I will not allow anything to happen to you. Do not let go."  
  
"But it's not just that," she couldn't keep her eyes open as an ice gust blew by, as this thing edged even closer, so close it was almost in her direct line of vision. The last thing she wanted to do was to look it in the eye, but it was increasingly difficult to ignore it as it slithered up against her and touched the back of her ear, whispering. She felt another tremor pass through her, mouth moving against her will. "This place-- it feels... there's such a palpable sense of despair. Fear. They thought they'd have eternal peace, and instead..." She stopped here, opening her eyes to glance up at Taekwoon. "Don't you ever wonder. Don't you ever wonder if _you're_ the bad one? I mean, how long have you strolled these borders. How many have you led on from passing, promised a cavern of eternal peace, a sense of duty and purpose in the afterlife, only to dump them here once they couldn't carry out your rigorous procedures. How many have died in the firing line for your perfect little army of soldiers or future soldiers who are so evidently going to have to suffer through multiple brutalities to even match up to the likes of your kind? Have every shard of humanity banished from them, to be molded and reforged until their blood bleeds red no more? Technically, by definition, you're the monster. None of them had a say in this. They didn't know how they'd die, had no idea how confusing the process of passing on happened to be, that they'd have to fight for a right to corporeal existence through endless trials, but oh no, no clarity for them, just eternal emptiness, confusion. A life time of ills, of anger. What happens then when one who shouldn't be is forced here also? What happens then to the strongest, the initial non human. How does the strongest forge an existence of their own here, how do they claim a realm as their own whilst you still trail up and down these borders, gate keeping, showing off so arrogantly your ability to not stagnate; to prosper in the land where others wither? Taking life after life after life, but never receiving the prison sentence, never receiving the death sentence yourself. You call my kind evil, whilst you sit there in all your irony and claim to simply be doing a job, ignoring the pain and suffering, the tortured cries and screams of those around you. Ignoring the weeping of the very strongest in the realm who has been begging for redemption since arriving here -- all of which you blatantly ignore. How can you even look at yourself, Archangel of Death?" Lilian paled once the words had left her lips. "Taekwoon, I-- I swear I didn't mean to say any of that I--"  
  
But rather than get mad like she'd expected, Taekwoon only peered at her, as if a daunting realization had hit him. "You are picking up on her frequencies. She is close. She has been closer than we have anticipated for some time, Lilian, do not let go of me. Stay still." Under his breath he began a chant, and before Lilian knew it, she felt a sense of security, as if a bubble had been wrapped around her being. She couldn't see said bubble, but she was certain it was there, that Taekwoon had evoked it for her safety, knowing it was impenetrable to the inhabitants. "This will stop them latching onto you, though it is practically useless against She, it will suffice for the rest. Many speak her thoughts as She holds a certain power in this realm, but as much as Daehyun probably exaggerated to you -- he is quite an adept storyteller, talented with words -- she will be unmatched for me when we do encounter her. Chained. Whatever she is portraying to Chen, the deeper it goes, the more energy she loses. She has likely been trying to speed up the process since the moment they first interacted, but it has evidently taken longer than She would like."  
  
Lilian felt a sense of calm wash over her at this. She then paused. "Is it weird to say that you feel blue? Like if I were to ever assign an identity to the color blue, it'd be through you, Taekwoon."  
  
"Blue is my representative color, after all."  
  
"But it's cold?"  
  
"Is Daehyun warm?"  
  
She nodded. "If I recall correctly."  
  
"Difference between encountering your mentor and one who is not your mentor, though Light and Dark alignment likely comes into play also."  
  
"But it's not a bad cold, more soothing, honestly. Like I can trust you. That there's no reason to fear you."  
  
"Trusting me in a realm such as this is barely a compliment, Lilian. I am the only thing that even vaguely represents anything that you deem normality."  
  
Lilian blinked. "Do you think that's how Chen feels right now seeing his brother? Why he's clinging on so strongly to him, unwilling and almost unable to let go?"  
  
"Hold that thought. If we know what to look for, we can thwart this quicker. Please tell me all you know about the brother."  
  
Lilian blinked, feeling a little weary of answering as she knew next to nothing about his brother. Still, she attempted to do what was asked. "His name's Kai, he's taller, but younger. I don't know by how many years. Dark hair, dark eyes. Chen's willing to tie people to a tree and play sick little games of torture with them at the mere thought him being injured. He's missing right now and everyone else supposedly minus Lay is a threat." She paused here, feeling an intense surge of loneliness wash over her. "He misses him," she whispered, voice quietening. "It feels cold without him, like the world's spinning off its axis, like there's no meaning, no reason to strive onward. As if the longer he's away, the less chance the sun will have of rising in the morning. Every second away the hopelessness strengthens its hold on him. The mere thought of him being injured is enough to send him into a frenzy. Paired with the hopelessness, there's anger. It's volatile. Not exactly well practiced, but definitely able to be taken at face value. He'll do anything to bring his brother back, no matter how many lives are lost in the process. Even if it's his own." Lilian shivered slightly. "This place just gets weirder. How did I do that?"  
  
"This is a confirmation that you are of the same alignment." Taekwoon tilted his head. "Or you relate."  
  
"I don't have a younger a brother," Lilian said. "Evidently it's the former."  
  
"Now Lilian," Taekwoon said levelly. "Think. How far away is Chen?"  
  
"Stretches and stretches, miles."  
  
"And," Taekwoon began. "How close do you want him to be?--In the instance you have to save him and saving him means acting in real time."  
  
"Close."  
  
"How close?"  
  
"Really close."  
  
"And how close is really close, Lilian?"  
  
"A few footfalls away from me."  
  
"Close your eyes. Think it. Conceptualize it. Then verbalize it. Say: when I open my closed eyes I want to see Chen a few footfalls away from me."  
  
Lilian nodded affirmatively, doing as instructed. "When I open my closed eyes I want to see Chen a few footfalls away from me."

 

In plain sight stood Jongdae. He was crouching, and he looked a ton more alive than the last time Lilian had seen him, his hair a disarray, clothes crinkled, but evidently alive. The anger she'd witnessed from him when she had first met him had all but dissipated. Thinking it easy enough, she edged closer, ready to pull him closer to her and embark on whatever journey it'd take to get back to the earth's atmosphere.  
  
It was only when she took a step closer did she note the massive ball of energy that was enveloping him. And a second later when she noted the being beside him.  
  
"Holy mother of god," she whispered, aghast.  
  
"Quite contrary," Taekwoon said.  
  
"I mean I know they said Kai was dark haired and tall but--" She stopped, at a loss for words. "Taekwoon," her voice was airy. "...What is that thing?"  
  
"That is She, the Mother of all Evil."  
  
Lilian shivered, willing her eyes to look away, but physically couldn't make that a reality. As terrifying as She was, the was a palpable energy so intense, so heavy, it seeped into the perpetual nothingness and made a somethingness. It was drawing her in. Making her eyes zone in on it, giving her an urge to edge closer, inspect the being before her, even with the knowledge that it would bring her utter destruction.  
  
"He's seriously seeing that right now, and thinks _that's_ his brother?"  
  
"No," Taekwoon said. "He is seeing her in the form of his brother; he does not see her true form, does not hear the screech of her true voice, does not feel the malevolent energy she produces and basks in."  
  
"I'd say he's almost lucky," Lilian chuckled halfheartedly. "Almost. ...Can she see us?"  
  
"She will scent me soon enough, and that is when you need to make your move. For now, please listen. We will eventually fade into their encounter and will hear what is taking place, or has been taking place. Time in this realm is... not as you know it, Lilian. Much as we seem to be going forwards, or present, we are actually viewing what has already happened. We may only receive glimpses, but those glimpses shall suffice. Then we will have to snap back and act fast."

  
Finally, after what felt like forever, voices spoke. _"Wait,"_ it was Jongdae, and as close as he physically appeared, he sounded so far away. _"I can't seem to feel my body... is this part of the procedure?"_  
  
_"Yes,"_ She replied, though entirely oblivious to her true nature, Jongdae saw her as 'Kai'. She then began to chant in a language Lilian was unfamiliar with, but Taekwoon seemed to recognize.  
  
  
"I cannot translate," he said. "But that is their speech."  
  
"It's really ominous," Lilian whispered, almost awed. "She just gets scarier."

"Focus your attention," Taekwoon instructed. "Listen for something that does not ring true in all you have heard of their interaction, regardless of who it is spoken from. She has weaved her way into Chen's mind, his memories, his emotions, everything she can, but she still possesses thoughts of her own, emotions of her own. They will seep through occasionally. She is of a different era than yourself and Chen, much, much older. Keep that mind and listen. Find the loophole, find the message that will snap him out of this."

  
Lilian listened. And listened. Solely focusing on the words she was hearing, looking out for anything, anything at all that didn't ring true, anything that was at all useful. "Ah," she said, a little frantically.  
  
Taekwoon turned towards her and though his demeanor was impassive, she felt there was a glimmer of curiosity coming from him. "You have found something," he stated.  
  
"Please verbalize it in direction of Chen."  
  
Lilian nodded. "Chen," she began and she knew that even if he couldn't see her, with how much She had barricaded herself around him, shutting him out of anything but herself, he could at least hear her. Hear a voice that wasn't She, or as he was hearing, Kai. And something like that was evidently going to stand out, especially if She had been all he'd known in this realm thus far. "Chen, is the earth flat?"  
  
Chen turned to face Lilian, but he couldn't see her, so was turning towards the direction of the voice, evidently perplexed. "No," he said instantly.  
  
"Can you ask 'Kai' if the earth is flat, Chen?" Lilian stopped for a second. "But before you do, can you tell me if the brother you've grown up with, your Kai, if he thinks it's flat?"  
  
"He doesn't," the answer was just as instantaneous as the one before.  
  
"Can you ask the Kai before you if he thinks the earth is flat, Chen?"

Jongdae blinked at this new voice, that seemed to be coming from above him and had no physical form, that Jongin didn't seem to hear. "Jongin," he started, getting his brother's attention. "Is the earth flat?" Jongin knew it wasn't.  
  
Jongin nodded easily, but looked a little taken aback. "The earth is flat, hyung."  
  
Jongdae felt as if some form of clarity had returned to him, but shook it away a second later. Who was to say that a flat earth wasn't the case in this dimension?

Lilian took a deep breath, eye twitching in annoyance. Regardless of whether he was under the highest form of mind control or emotional manipulation right now, Lilian still found herself irked by Jongdae and his inability to just go with what she was saying, especially since she was right. "Has he, in recent conversation, stated that he believes the earth is flat, or did he say the opposite? Can you answer that for me, Chen?"

Jongdae paused, mulling it over. "My father claimed the earth was flat," he said slowly. "But Jongin... Jongin disagreed."

Lilian nodded. "Then please know the Kai before you has just confirmed he's not your actual brother and nothing more than an impostor; that he's been feeding on your very thoughts and emotions and manipulating you to an extreme degree, in hopes of gaining your favor and trust and in turn getting your confirmation so he can take over your body and enter the earth's atmosphere, effectively ridding you of you. I know this voice is unfamiliar to you at the moment and you can't even see who's saying it -- maybe for the better -- but please know I'm here to help you back to the earth, and keep this being trapped here."  
  
Jongdae blinked at this, instantly pulling his grip out of Jongin's hands, letting it all sink it. "I knew it," he hissed, but felt the most palpable sense of clarity wash over him since his arrival. "You filthy liar."  
  
Jongin tilted his head at his brother. "Hyung?"  
  
"I should've just listened to myself. Instead of, instead of _allowing_ myself to be roped along with this charade."  
  
"What are you saying, hyung?"  
  
"You're not Jongin. I have no idea what it is you are, but you're not Jongin."  
  
Jongin rolled his eyes, sighing. "Are we doing this again, hyung--" He stopped here, as if mulling over the elder's behavior. "Oh."  
  
"Oh?" But it was in that exact second he whipped around to Lilian, noting her presence, but rather than interact with Lilian he made direct eye contact with Taekwoon, hissing at the sight of him. "Adversary."  
  
"Nice try," Taekwoon said, instantly turning to face 'Kai'. "Seems I am a step ahead, She. You forget I can see to your true form and the form you wish to portray, do you not? I am here to collect the elder, shorter brother, whilst you once again try cover your tracks in lies and falsity. Pretending to be the life form you wish to steal, is not your wisest of moves, I must say. I know you are not Chen, I can see to the true you."  
  
She shrieked, as a tremor passed through Jongdae. He shook a few more times, before zoning back into his surroundings, noting both Lilian and Taekwoon's presence.  
"...Lilian?" He croaked. "What the hell are you doing here--?"  
  
Lilian put a finger over her lip, to quieten him, let him know her presence can't be announced. She mouthed the words 'I'm here to save you' until Jongdae caught on, and nodded, albeit wearily.  
  
Lilian and Jongdae both stay quiet, watching the interaction between Taekwoon and She unfold, She has her sight focused solely on Taekwoon, not even glancing at Jongdae any more.  
  
"Ah, Adversary," She said, guffawing. "But you are so much weaker than my equal, why subject yourself to such undeniable defeat?"  
  
"Defeat is death, and as I cannot die, that leaves you in quite the predicament."  
  
A hiss emitted from her. "Vessels crack," she insisted, tone spiking. "The impossible becomes possible; as is locking one of my caliber in such a realm." She edged closer, the entirety of her being, her energy focused on Taekwoon. "Do you know long I have waited for this moment? The day I meet you face to face; the harbinger of all evil. The sole reason for my imprisonment. Do you know how long I have waited, thirsted for this moment? Oh Adversary, if only you knew."  
  
But rather than claw forward with an attack, She stay stock still, something of a sad note entering her words. "Almost as long as I have longed for him. Long to see him, to hold him in my arms, keep him safe from harm. As I did before. As I promise to again. Sooner than either of us can even begin to contemplate. My son, almost angelic in features, many would confuse him for your kind. We will meet again, my son and I, note that Archangel. Scribe that, Archangel."  
  
"Believe me," Taekwoon said. "You will meet again. In this exact realm."  
  
She hissed, and in that fraction of a second, edged away from Jongdae, to the point where he wasn't even within her vicinity. "How long I have waited, Archangel. How long."  
Lilian watched on as Taekwoon very subtly signaled her to grab Jongdae. Which she made an instant move to do. Lilian wrapped her arms around Jongdae's wrist and pulled him in the almost tangible shield of protection around her, knowing no other inhabitants could latch onto him, that She was currently distracted by Taekwoon. That Jongdae could finally come back to his senses.  
  
"To burn cities, set aflame the sky, if I must tear heaven piece by piece, I will. But you will not touch my son."  
  
Taekwoon only shrugged. "Try as you may. But know the damage has already been done. And that I was not the one who left him unguarded, I was not the one who _abandoned_ him. That is all your doing, Mother of Evil."   
  
The screech She emitted was deafening. "I had no say in this," She grit out. "When I get out of this realm--"  
  
"And how is that going thus far, if I may ask?"  
  
"Wise to shut your mouth, Archangel, provoke me any further and I will not hold back. I may not be able to kill you, but I can injure you, something you seem to forget." Her movements had become slightly off balance, erratic.  
  
"But the thing is," Taekwoon said, unflinching. "Something both sides seem to forget, I have walked these borders much longer than you, and I know to the very core of this realms' foundation. I know your pitfalls. I know your limits. I know the exit routes you cannot pass through. Because the truth is, She, you are chained. And cannot pass a certain point of this realm. The human just had the misfortune of falling through and being scented by you."  
  
To which She smirked. "You come for the boy, evidently. But it is I who has the bo--" Another ear splitting screech sounded. "You do not know when to quit do you, Archangel?!"  
  
Lilian winced as She whipped around to face Jongdae, who was now out of her reach, only to see her eyes fall upon Lilian.  
  
"What do we have here?" She asked, turning back to Taekwoon. "Very well you may have the boy but there is something about you, that you desire that holds true with all men, Archangel."  
  
Taekwoon remained impassive.  
  
"One thing you did not get to happily experience, in the way all men subconsciously desire." There was a pause. "A mother."  
  
Lilian turned to face Taekwoon, bewildered. Taekwoon had issues with his mother, more so Taekwoon had a mother? "Is she serious?"  
  
"My past life is of utter irrelevance. My past relationship with my mother is also. You may be good at reading frequencies and reading through thoughts and desires, making educated guesses here and there, but you will not crack me, She. I hold no sentiment for a life passed."  
  
"You say that, Archangel, but surely," turning to look at Lilian again. "Surely she empathizes with my suffering?"  
  
Lilian sent an unsure smile Shes' way.   
  
"Surely she can relate. You are a mother, girl?"  
  
Lilian shook her head meekly.  
  
"Of course, you are so young." A twisted smile etched its way onto She. "But you are Royalty. And the boy dislikes Royalty."

Even in his disillusioned state, Jongdae edged away from Lilian.  
  
"Keep hold of him," Taekwoon said. "No matter what happens, keep hold of him."  
  
At the sound of his voice, She turned back around to face him. But instead of maliciously biting at him, tried to employ a new method. "I believe in my son, Archangel," She said. "He didn't ask to be born what he was, he has no choice in the blood that courses through him. Please understand he is just a boy, that the issue does not lie with him--"  
  
Taekwoon almost scoffed. "The havoc he has wreaked alone is beyond that of anything we have ever witnessed, and surely wherever he is, grows only stronger."  
  
And if his eye wasn't trained, Taekwoon wouldn't have noticed the pride She wore in hearing this.  
  
"He has strength, he has always had strength. But is that enough to condemn him for my sins? Sins for which I have repented. Archangel, I have _repented,"_ enunciating each syllable.   
  
"You would not know the meaning of the word," he said simply. "You considered yourself to be evil, did you not?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"He is triple times the threat you ever were. And the sheer fact that he is undetectable in the earths' atmosphere should tell you so. Never have any of you ever been undetectable to us, especially not in borders that do not belong to you. We do not know where he hides, nor what he plans. We are safer to assume that utter destruction is next on his list than nothing at all."  
  
"Because he lacks his mother's love, because it was taken away from him by _you!"_  
  
"I did not kill you, I simply collected you from the ashes."  
  
"I deserved what happened to me," She said, sounding softer than any previous time before. "But I will never regret him. I will never stop fighting for him or his right at life. He didn't ask to be born with the blood that he has, and had no choice in his birth."  
  
"Then why did you go through with this mission you were assigned, knowing the lives you put at risk, knowing it would bring your very own destruction?"  
  
"Because when one has a leader of such caliber, one will do whatever it takes to stay in the good books, he said it would earn me eternal place in hell, a place upon the throne, if I went through with this. If I were to forge the sin of Adultery and from that bore the child of the future, yet it was always destined for me to simply let him go, not to show mother's love, to not raise him as my own, simply one within the force. And when it turned out that I couldn't leave him, when I wished to mother him a way a way a mother always does... I was thwarted, irregardless of my position. I paid my price, and was it was due, but knowing that I had those moments with him, that I raised him as my own -- as he is my own -- I do not regret. My only regret stands in the knowing that everyday, the darkness he feels within is due to me, that he has no one to talk it through with.  
He is just a boy, merely a boy. A boy who did not ask for this. And I... I just want to see him again, Archangel. And yet, you forbid me. Damn me to eternity in this realm."  
  
"I know the caliber of manipulation that courses through you. I know the minute you are freed, you will seek him out and wreak havoc of a caliber we cannot contain."  
  
"For my son, I speak only truth." She then turned to Jongdae. "In this boy," she whispers. "I feel the same caliber of longing, of fight. In fact, it makes me feel almost apologetic, knowing who he is and how I part took in forging him this way. But if I can meet with my son just once, even if only for a short time, if through this boy, all past endeavors shall be forgiven."  
  
"So you are confirming the death of Chen's parents was your doing?"  
  
"I am. Mine and my son's."  
  
"And you deem it forgivable."  
  
"I do not care if it is forgivable. I care about the ties I have to this boy, the fact that I can meet with my son through him simply because of that past event. I would do it again in a heartbeat, if it meant meeting with my son."  
  
"She is Them," Lilian whispered to Jongdae. "One of the two that slaughtered your parents."  
  
She turned to face Jongdae directly. "We have tea parties occasionally, your parents and I."

Taekwoon instructed Lilian to hold out an arm to stop Jongdae lunging at She. "Falling in this realm will result in death." He turned back to She. "Try as you may, you are unable to move from your corner. You cannot fight me in physical terms even if you attempt to -- only energy manipulation, and try, try as you may. You are tired. You have overexerted yourself, as if you forget that you do not have a corporeal form any longer, as if you forget that you weaken the stronger I and my hold becomes over this realm and at this point, I am at my most rested, whilst you are starving, you are at the brink of exhaustion. So take this as my pity to you, I refuse to fight you and with that I take my leave. Leave you to rot in the eternity you are banished to, screaming for all to hear."  
  
  
And with that, the void began to fade in the the background. Lilian soon noted the three of them -- Jongdae, herself and Taekwoon were situated on a intricately twisted spiral staircase.   
  
"Heaven's staircase," Taekwoon announced. "We are to make a short visit to clear you of negative energies. Chen will shiver for some time and be disillusioned but it should fade or be in the process of fading for when we enter the earth's atmosphere, which, by the way, you have both left earth's atmosphere. You are truly present in heaven, as you were not in the void."  
  
But just as he'd finished, Jongdae turned to face him, eyes cloudy, evident he wasn't entirely sure where he was. "Is K-Kai--?" He choked out frantically. "Has he--?"  
  
"I will need his real name," Taekwoon announced.  
  
"Kim Jongin," Jongdae said almost instantly. "Kai's a nickname."  
  
"I have no record of a Kim Jongin, I assure you he still lives. And I am unable to lie, know it is the truth."

  
  
Lilian gasped at the sight before her. The area in which she was situated appeared to be glowing a sapphire blue, shades of which she'd never once witnessed in her earthly existence. The roof -- if it could be called a roof -- was jet black, a perpetual sheen of silver glittering on the ins and outs, truly breathtaking and awe inspiring sight. And this ever present feeling of wonder, clarity even. Untainted by the darkness of the world, untouched and unexplored by humanity. Truly sacred in some form, she felt a little out of place, the more she thought about it, as though she didn't belong.  
  
"This is my headquarters," Taekwoon said, noting her expression.  
  
"It's beautiful," Lilian murmured in awe. She then heard shuffling and noted the presence of an adolescent seeming boy.  
  
"Who are they?" He asked Taekwoon, coming to a direct halt, cutting straight the chase.  
  
"Who are you?" Lilian asked.  
  
He tilted his head at her in apprehension."I am Lee Hongbin, a recruit of Heaven and an Alignment member of Archangel Taekwoon, hence why I am in his headquarters. You and the one beside you are not, so why do you enter these borders?"  
  
Lilian edged closer to Taekwoon. "Is he okay?" She asked in a whisper. "This is H?" Keeping a mental note of _Daehyun, Taekwoon_ and _Hongbin._ Plus three J names, whenever she was intended to figure them out.  
  
Taekwoon glanced at him, sighing almost. "He was found in the worst state we have ever encountered a human. Alive, but barely. So we took him on board. It is evident that as the days pass he grows irritable, he wishes to do more than he has been assigned, and understandable as he has been assigned with the task of nothing much at all. He has taken it upon himself to learn our lore and history in its entirety and is assured he is to be the first successful human to angel transition, though we weary of such, knowing there are still aspects to perfect. Archangels have succeeded, but this if it is to take place, is to be an angel. They are two entirely different things. But we are taking it into consideration seeing as he was in a near death state and likely would not survive long if returned to earth and will go feral if given to the voids, he shows promise in intellect, and a drive to improve. He, however, seems to fluctuate between two polar opposites; a side of himself that is petrified, in fear of all around him and a side of himself that wishes nothing more than to better himself, almost to an erratic extent. He would have jumped at the chance to assist me in retrieving Chen and yourself, even though the voids have proven to have one of the worst affects on him than I have witnessed in others. I have trouble keeping up and truthfully I am not the best at handling people, though I do have help from my brothers. But please do not mind Hongbin, he knows not to interrupt me as I am working."  
  
"But he's not going to stop staring, is he?"  
  
"I am afraid not."

Lilian offered a small smile at Hongbin that wasn't returned.   
  
"Bring Chen over and sit him down."  
  
Lilian did as instructed.  
  
"Can you hear me, Chen?"  
  
Jongdae's eyes were closed but he nodded.  
  
"Keep your eyes closed and stay still, this may tingle."  
  
After reciting the chant, Jongdae went silent, evidently been put to sleep. "You are resting, though you can still hear me. It will feel like a whole day of rest that you experience and your body will heal to its full capacity, however this will have only taken four hours in earth time. Once this takes place, we will have taken the negative energies out of your system, purged them. You will only encompass heaven's energies and will not receive any dire results from such energies. In fact, quite the opposite. When we arrive back in the earth's atmosphere, you will need to accept Daehyun as your mentor and align yourself under his alignment. We will then wipe your memories of this entire ordeal because we do not wish this level of harrowing knowledge upon anyone, especially not to the extent you have witnessed. It will take a full day in earth time to fully wipe clean what you have seen. Knowledge of She will remain, but no personal attachment or recollection of the encounter will stay. Archangels, angels and heaven will exist to you, but you will have only encountered two Archangels -- Daehyun and myself -- and never visited heaven. Your brother's true name will disappear to those that did not know it prior, so do not fret in that sense either."

 

"Everything feels like it's passed in a blur," Lilian said, once shaking awake, realizing she was back in the earths' atmosphere.  
That both herself and Jongdae were awake with Taekwoon in tow. And when she turned to face him, couldn't hide the smile that made its way onto her features.  
  
"Brother!" Daehyun exclaimed, pulling Taekwoon into an embrace. His expression then dimmed when observing Taekwoon's calculated expression. "You are scenting it too, are you not? I thought myself half mad."  
  
"I cannot deny the marginal possibility, and there certainly is a scent of something, apparently the Nocens have been within reach, and the scent of him is faint enough on them to leave a trace, but we have no proof he has been here himself, which I feel you are contemplating."  
  
Daehyun nodded.  
  
"In such case, you are overthinking it. He has long since been with the Nocens, but he does not accompany them on kidnappings. He is beyond that, these days. A camp like this means little to him, regardless of the slaughter he part took in."  
  
Daehyun sighed. "You are right. But I worry. If these boys have ended up in the hands of him... I dread to think what of what he will do to them."  
  
"He is too powerful for such endeavors, has too much at risk after wiping himself off of our radar. They would never send him to collect anyone, knowing these circumstances. You know full well who does the collections. If anything he is hiding in their new cavern, knowing full well it is unsafe for him to leave. Plus his scent is much, much more powerful than the traces that are detectable here. If he were to visit this forest and camp area, we would know without a doubt. Surely they have just interacted with him."  
  
"Which definitely buys us time, but we must save these boys, Taekwoon. I must. And my... that one... I worry about him. I have not heard since the night he ended up here."  
  
"You will find him, and you will find the human boys. Both of them. Do not convince yourself otherwise."  
  
Daehyun nodded. "Being on earth," he whispered. "For this stretch of time has had me doubting in a way I deemed myself not capable, sometimes I even experience fear. This is not our realm Taekwoon, much as we try and pretend or disguise. The longer one spends time here, the more noticeable the differences are. Why they wish to build headquarters here... I do not comprehend. Though I thank you and apologize for the trouble caused."  
  
"Do not worry about it." With this, Taekwoon turned around to be met with a curious looking Lilian. "Is he homesick?" Lilian asked, in a whisper.  
  
"I believe so," Taekwoon said. "He has been away for some time, Lilian. And as he said, we are of different frequencies, it will take its toll eventually."  
  
"You're okay though, right, Daehyun?"  
  
"Of course. I am merely overthinking. Enemies of this caliber are dangerous, Lilian. And if any of you were to end up in their claws, under my care, I cannot begin to imagine... Especially these two boys..."  
  
"But even so, you're not to blame for their disappearing. You know that, right?"  
  
"Regardless, I have taken this upon myself and they are a part of me now, whatever it takes I must return them to safety."  
  
"Brother, if you wish to at all be accompanied at any point, send a call."  
  
"As thankful as I am, you have other matters to attend to, brother."  
  
"Evidently so," Taekwoon replied. "Always so. Death is never ending." With this, he edged closer to Jongdae, peering at him. "Escaping death, much less so."  
  
"Hello," Jongdae said, looking and feeling a lot better than he had for some days.   
  
"Do not strain yourself," the dark haired Archangel said. "You have survived something many others would have fallen victim to and are truly one of Daehyun's own. And yet, you think not of yourself or ensuring your survival but that of your brother, as is with Daehyun's own. Admirable, but constantly in a position of danger. You must slow down from time to time, and remember to take care of yourself."  
  
Jongdae nodded along, but take the thought of Jongin out of his mind. This Archangel of Death said he had records, he vaguely recalled. He could confirm for definite if Jongin still lived, once and for all. "He's alive, isn't he? For definite?"  
  
"I have records and your brother's name has not appeared."  
  
"But Kai isn't his..."  
  
"I am aware."  
  
Taekwoon edged closer, so he was only within Jongdae's hearing vicinity. "Jongin is alive." Once he'd said this he stood tall once more. "He is not dead, merely missing. In which recruitment of Daehyun is the best thing. You are in the safest hands we can offer and no harm will fall upon you when with him, please allow yourself to believe in that. Please also note that yourself and Lilian are due to have your memories of today wiped. You will know you visited heaven, you will know of Archangels and angels' existence, but you will not recall meeting any but Daehyun and myself. Same for the void and She. Procedures will not take long at all, but will take up to a day to fully fade."  
  
Once the procedures had taken place, quick and efficient like Taekwoon had said, he turned to faced everyone. "Then if that is all, I will take my leave. Good luck on the journey, I wish all goes as planned."  
  
Daehyun laughed at this, good naturedly. "You say that as though there is a note of fear within, brother."  
  
Taekwoon stopped. "Some things even I cannot predict," he said, almost sounding numb. "And that is what scares me."

 

  
"Jongdae?" Yixing teetered gently at the other end of the camp, making his way over to Jongdae.  
  
"He's alive," Jongdae rasped, but looked as if all the weight in the world had been knocked off his shoulders. "Jongin's alive, Yixing."  
  
Yixing nodded, looking entirely relieved himself, but then paused. "What about Luhan, did you ask about Luhan?"  
  
Jongdae paled, body freezing. "I--" Looking at his palms numbly, he sighed. "It completely slipped my mind, I'm sorry."  
  
Yixing nodded, though his expression dimmed. "I understand. Anyway if Jongin's alive, surely... let's just hope for the best, you know? For the first time in our lives, let's just hope for the best."  
  
"Sure thing, 'Xing."  
  
With this, after Taekwoon's departure, they all grouped together.  
  
"Now," Daehyun said. "Once and for all, to answer the question as to who it is I am, and who it is my kind is." Everyone had their attention focused solely on Daehyun. "I am Archangel Daehyun, and I belong to the force known as Heaven. I am here on both a mission and as a guide and I assure each and every one of you that you are safe with me. No harm shall befall upon any of you. Please follow with a truth of your own, seeing as we need honestly to prosper as a team, which we will continue as for this journey, as we share a common goal. Retrieval."  
  
Jongdae seemed in agreement with this, though Yixing's expression was impassive, difficult to read.  
  
Chunji took a deep breath. "I think anything will pale in comparison to that, so I guess I'll be the one to keep us somewhat grounded in the mundane of human existence. My name is Chunji. My mother died giving birth to me and my father and myself are not the most affluent of people by any means. We used to struggle to feed ourselves until my father took up a job at a--" He glanced at Lilian momentarily. "High ranking... village place and has been able to feed us easier than prior."  
  
Jongup glanced around the circle, barely making eye contact with anyone. "I, um... My name is Jongup. Like Chunji, my mother has died. My father too. I have had to raise myself s-since their," he faltered at Jongdae's eyes on him. "D-death. I have s-something of a stutter, and I apologize i-if that becomes an issue."  
  
"As difficult as it may be to initially believe," Jongdae said in reference to Daehyun, also deciding he'd cover both his and Yixing's truths. "I've seen things today that have skewered my perception of everything. Since we're going for honesty, since we have to work together, I'll tell you something I really would advise against in any other situation, Lay and Chen are code names. He's Yixing and I'm Jongdae. And if anyone of you betrays that trust and lets that out to anyone outside of this camp, know we're trained to the nines and I will make sure to take your very last breath if it's the last thing I do."  
  
Yixing turned to Lilian, noting she'd been quiet throughout, and now wasn't making any move to announce anything, even though it was her turn. "Anything to tell Lilian?"  
  
Lilian jumped, but then shook her head. "No," she then cleared her throat. "At least not anything that's truly... remarkable, or really sets me out like the rest of your facts. I really can't bring anything to mind at the moment, I'm sorry. C-can I tell mine later, if that's okay?"  
  
Jongdae scoffed, turning to face Lilian with a sneer on his face. "So we already have a liar, fantastic." The harshness in his eyes didn't falter for even a second. "I knew you were hiding something the minute I found you. Whatever it is you're hiding, just know it'll have to come out at some point, whether it's by force or not."  
  
She knew that by snapping she was confirming it, but she just couldn't hold it back. "Well if so, fine. But it's irrelevant to happenings around us, and the one person -- being -- that needs to know, knows. So _you,"_ she made sure to put emphasis on this. "Need to back off about it. And from me, because I may have just helped save your life but I know for a fact you're a stubborn, arrogant fool who doesn't know how to say thank you for the life of him and will purposely choose to make my time here a living hell because you don't know how to admit that you were wrong, and I also know that no matter what we do, we're never going to get along. And that's fine. Just know I'm here because of Daehyun and Daehyun alone. For some reason unbeknownst to me our paths have crossed and we can't change that, but if you stay in your corner, I'll stay in mine. We won't  
even need to interact."  
  
"Whatever," Jongdae said. "Just keep in mind that if you put one foot wrong, I will not hesitate to kill you."  
  
Lilian raised an eyebrow, unblinking as she faced him head on. "And eventually I won't hesitate to fight back."  
  
Jongdae blinked at this, momentarily taken aback, but then shook his head and sauntered off in the opposite direction to Lilian.  
  
Yixing -- who had been watching with an inch of a smile on his face, chuckled at Lilian. "I think you'll fit in just fine, Lilian." But his smile seemed to falter when taking in the presence of the so called 'Archangel'. 

 


	21. Wind Beneath My Wings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jorJh8DTMVM

 Some time had passed and Yixing had made his way over to Jongdae. Facing Jongdae, whose attention was focused on the Archangel a stretch away from them; who looked to be inspecting the trees and the lack of produce, he didn't turn around to face any current inhabitants of the camp, seeming to be aware they needed time to talk things through, catch up on details they missed -- an area he believed he needed to work upon, but had issues blending in when such talks arose. Humans and Archangels had very different habits, life paths, and particularly knowledge bases. He knew not how to simply stare in awe or disgruntlement as current weather patterns were discussed, without delving into a current discovery heaven had stumbled across in terms of said weather patterns, and how this shone light onto their upcoming war, nor how to react in awe at the fact borders outside of the earths' atmosphere existed, particularly in expressing emotion in the way humans seemed to have a perpetual aptitude in, regardless of how little they took note of this.

But the Archangel wasn't Yixing's main focus here, that was Jongdae. Where there had once been apprehension in the youngers' eyes, was now replaced with something of awe. "If only Daehyun and Taekwoon had've been here when my parents--" But he stopped here, shaking his head, if only for a moment, he wanted to focus on the brighter side of life. Something he wasn't familiar with, something he'd convinced himself he never would be. "But one thing we know for certain is with Daehyun around, Jongin and Luhan are going to be found. Alive. Taekwoon said he could help out sometimes if need be." A smile etched its way onto his lips, as he glanced up at the sky in wonderment. "With heaven on our side, what can't we achieve?"

As nice as it was to see the younger smile, Yixing wasn't so convinced. "Jongdae," Yixing began.

"Don't you think we're trusting them too soon? 'Angels' or not, don't you think this entire thing is a little too convenient? I mean, I'm no expert on the topic but it doesn't seem like random chance that he's stumbled upon us. Heaven and heaven's inhabitants from all I've heard -- in tales, in passing, wherever -- they always have to have a reason, a reason that goes beyond the likes of humanity." He took a breath. "He even said he was part of the reason you entered that state from before, and I know it wasn't on purpose, but if a combination of his 'energy' and the bad energy of the forest can affect us like that... and we're situated in an area that's seeping with negative energies whilst tailing him along, who's not to say you -- or anyone else, for that matter -- won't fall into that frame of mind and place again?  
His heavenly mumbo jumbo might sound like the best option for us right now, but we've survived this long without him, we've never once needed to rely on anyone but ourselves, so why change that now? I can't get my head around it, or everyone's sudden reliance and hope in this guy. And I damn well know that had he not been here, you wouldn't have even fallen into that zone or void or whatever from before. So why not tell them it's been a nice run, we're thankful you've made it through with their help, but we've always done this thing by ourselves and we're going to continue to do so, from hereon out."

Jongdae turned to face Yixing, eyebrows furrowing. "Yixing," he started, voice hesitant. "I understand where you're coming from, but..."

Yixing let out a tired sigh. "But what, Jongdae?"

"He's our best lead to Luhan and Jongin, and the kind of power he holds is... regardless of how much training we've had, of the likes we could only dream of. If these creatures that have kidnapped Luhan and Jongin are as powerful as they say, then... without him we honestly don't stand a chance. He knows the routes better than us. Knows all the weak spots, the key signs, motivations of Them. For the first time since encountering Them, we won't be in the dark about this." He sent a glance over to their camp, trailing his eyes over the trees, the river, the bridge across to the Foreseen Forest, the light in his eyes dimming at the sight. "Maybe we're outgrowing this place ourselves. Yixing, maybe we're not chained here for the rest of our lives, maybe there is more for us. Maybe--" He stopped here, chewing at his lip.

Yixing snorted, shaking his head in disbelief. "Maybe it's our destiny? Is that what you're going to say next?"

Jongdae shrugged, shoulders falling softly. "What if I said I was?" He then cast a glance at Yixing's injured arm. "How are you doing?"

Yixing shrugged. "It's not what I've been focusing on. I'll get by, you know I always do."

Jongdae nodded, but didn't remove his gaze from his injured friend's arm. "If you need any assistance with it at any point," he began, but Yixing shook his head instantly.

"It's fine. I've got it covered. You need to be focusing on yourself right now, Jongdae." He tried to bite his tongue, keep the words -- and the bitter tone that would be sure to coat them -- from bubbling up, but it had to be brought to the table, it had to be discussed. "Particularly in making sure you don't enter the forest of 'negative energies' when you're in a vulnerable state of mind, alone, whilst the friend who's pledged to help you come what may, sleeps. Unaware of what is taking place. Only to find out from the mouth of an 'Archangel' who hadn't known you prior to this day."

Jongdae kept his gaze elsewhere, clearing his throat. "You know about that?"

Yixing's gaze was steady. "Where did you go?"

"...Home, technically. It's not my home any more and barely ever was, but where Jongin and I used to live, b-before--" A shiver passed through him. "Can we at least sit down to talk about this?"

"Why couldn't we have done that prior to you leaving? Maybe then I would've been of more help when you entered this void place. Maybe I could've accompanied you, made sure you didn't get into this vulnerable state of mind--"

"I was already in the vulnerable state of mind prior to departing," Jongdae said, staring at his palms. "Nothing would've changed that, I just went and made it worse. Yixing..." He cleared his throat. "You have to understand that I witnessed some things when I was younger that have stayed with me, remnants that haunt my every waking moment. And it's not something I'm proud of, it's not something I want to share with others, not something I want to burden them with. But it's something I have to combat, at least in some form if I'm going to--"

He knew this side of Jongdae a little too well. "Get revenge?"

"It leads to that, sure." Jongdae took a deep breath. "But what I'm saying is the journey to my old house was a necessity for one particular reason. A reason I've hid from you for some time. Something I haven't even told Jongin, something I'm not even sure he remembers the existence of. But I do, I always will. And it will haunt me. At least until I get them back."

It was clear he wasn't referencing the organization with mention of them, this time. "And what are we referencing here, Jongdae?"

"Books."

"Books?"

"As much training as we've had in our areas of expertise, it's true we're no expert in the supernatural, enemies of which we're going to have to face in the near future. Possibly even tomorrow. We have no idea where they hide or how many of these sort exist, but we could. And we will. If I had've just--" He looked at Yixing, perplexed expression on his face. "Before I left with Jongin that night, my family had these sacred books. Massive, intricate, from front to back full of all that was and probably is presently known of the supernatural seared into the pages. And at the time, they slipped my mind. It felt like Jongin or death, nothing like I could split the time between carrying my brother outside and running back to collect these books, making sure we carried on our journey with the books. And as much as it probably bought us time, it wouldn't have resulted in an instant death had I retrieved the books, like I initially believed. So for that I've held us back. Once I retrieve these books, we have years upon years amount of knowledge to catch up on, to arm ourselves with--"

"I hope this is the last thing you've kept 'under wraps' from me, or so help me--"

Jongdae grinned up at the elder, almost teasingly. "What will you do?"

Yixing just let out a sigh, running a tired hand through his hair. "Wake up from this extended nightmare of pocketwatches, negative energies, Foreseen Forests, missing brothers and best friends and," he took a deep breath. "Archangels, Jongdae. Archangels."

"You say that as if you're having trouble believing it," Jongdae lulled. "I don't really think I've had time to come to terms with it myself, not after being thrown straight into the war zone, but I guess seeing truly is believing." Noting that Yixing's demeanor hadn't changed, an evident reluctance to come to terms with their present circumstances, perhaps stubborn disbelief mulling, Jongdae was hoping to find a way to convince the elder that this was much more of a blessing than a curse. "I know it's difficult to comprehend, especially if his kind is miles above the likes of what we could even begin to imagine, but we're connected to him in some form, Yixing. Something ties us to him, and for that reason he can't just walk ahead and leave us behind in a time he knows could be difficult... he mentioned an alignment or something. It may just be me that's tied to him in that sense, I'm not entirely sure, but I know for a fact he's not here out of chance. That his appearance on earth isn't by chance. It's not random, maybe it's a lucky chance he stumbled upon us in a time as dire as this, but he's here for a reason."

"How sure are we that this isn't some elaborate plot of an evil force, who's painting himself to be good so you'll unknowingly sell your soul or something? We barely know anything about him, Jongdae. You've never trusted anyone this easily."

"Which is why I'm believing more and more in the things he says. If he was a bad guy, would he have gone so far out of his way to retrieve me from the void? Would he have contacted his brother and let his brother transport me into what they said was heaven, if they were truly evil or had ill intentions? I could've died there, Yixing. But I didn't." Jongdae took a deep breath. "And even in the off chance this is an elaborate plot of evil, do I, at this point, have a soul to sell? What would they even profit off of out of me?"

Yixing wore a perturbed expression. "Of course you have a soul, why on earth wouldn't you?"

"I mean, with this lifestyle, with what's happened in the duration of my life... hasn't all good within me been banished? Do I truly qualify as a 'good' person, Yixing? There's no reason to manipulate me by these means, knowing I'd never convince myself to qualify for this force of 'good' by my own means."

"You qualify as a kid that's done everything in his power to forge a life out out of the bare minimum for himself. Raise his brother as if he's his mother, father and brother at the same time and ensure that said brother doesn't end up like his parents, six feet in the ground."

"You say that as if they have a standardized grave and headstone to call their own." Jongdae's eyes were downcast. He twiddled with his thumb, not glancing back up. "And in that sense, in all you've mentioned, I've failed. We don't have a house, we haven't had a house since our arrival. We've been living on scraps, forced to hunt for what others deem a given. We've never known tender sleeping conditions and will never have beds to call our own, excluding the self assembled ruins we deem as such, that result in more aches than they're worth." Jongdae seemed to brunch back, as if all of the aforementioned paled in comparison. "My brother's missing, and has been kidnapped by a caliber of enemy that most could only envision in their very worst nightmares."

He took a deep breath, facing Yixing directly. "A type of enemy that hunted and tailed down its victims to the nth degree, left an array of vertical slices down the flesh that coveted main arteries, left a room splayed in pools upon pools of blood. Left two beings that hours prior had wished their young sons nothing but a good night's rest as they tucked them into their beds, and promised a brighter tomorrow... by that time tomorrow, unable to form a sentence, had taken their last breath, skin pallid," planes of his features morphing into a look of utter contempt. "Their fingernails had been stolen. I'm surprised their eyes hadn't been taken too, but I guess they were too ruined by that point to be salvaged by these ritualistic fucks. It was executed a little too quickly for it to be have been just the one to carry it out, but as much as blood will always haunt me... the laughter that echoed throughout the halls that night is imprinted into my mind just as much. Whoever they were, they enjoyed it. They got a kick out of their perfectly executed slaughter. And they left us a warning, a token to let us know that they knew we existed. That we were next. And it came in the form of a blood stained pocketwatch."

Yixing kept quiet, listening, never interrupting, he'd never witnessed Jongdae go into such detail of his parents' slaughter, but had always assumed the time would come.

"We had hours until they'd be back. I don't know what part of me it was that knew so strongly that that was the case, but it's something I'll hold to this day. I'd long since resented the fact that when my parents were alive, we hadn't been taken on their hunts, always resented this rule that we had to be ten to do so. But sometimes I question if that is exactly what saved us. What then made us strive so hard to match up our intellectual capabilities with our lacking practical abilities. But more so than that, the fact that we hadn't met face to face with these killers, which our parents evidently had -- at one point in time, prior to this hunt.  
Because of what I do know from the recurring details that took place that night, is that there is no way the motive was impersonal. That it was a by chance meeting. It was premeditated, it was calculated, it was personally involved. And it isn't done, as much is evidenced by Jongin's kidnap. They've been closer than we could've ever envisioned for months, I don't think it's years this -- the watching -- has been going on for, but definitely months. Tailing in the shadows. Maybe it's not as dire as I'm assuming, it could just because they want to reclaim their old territory -- the forest -- but they found their way back to us, Jongin and I. We didn't notice, and that's exactly what got us into this predicament.  
But at the heart of it, you, nor Luhan nor even Jongin are their main target. Yixing that's... that's always been me. I've received cryptic messages that night, and many nights to come in a way none of the rest of you have, and not because you're not looking, but because they're targeting me in particular. It's like a flick of switch, one sign, and in an instant I know it's them. If they've been listening out--"

"Wait," Yixing said, briefly interrupting Jongdae. "Perhaps they're able to hide themselves, their physical presence and that's why it's taken us this long to catch on. I can't imagine them tailing us this long and going unnoticed, particularly by me. You know I have an eye like a hawk for this sort of thing. And definitely you, with the connection you have to them. They targeted specifically at a time when they knew we separate and weakened. So they've definitely been watching in some form."

Jongdae nodded. "Separate and weakened, precisely. It's plausible that they could've put some kind of tracker on us that night, and have been waiting for an opportune moment to strike. But rather than kidnap me, and bring me to them, they want me to hunt them down. And the easiest way for that to come to fruition is through Jongin, knowing I'll go to any length to bring my brother back." He was quiet for a few moments, before turning to face the elder directly. "Which is exactly why I'll understand if you want to turn around and leave me to do this alone. I wouldn't fight you. I wouldn't try to stop you. You don't have to put your life on the line to assist me, Yixing. I'll do everything in my power to bring Jongin and Luhan back, I promise you that."

Yixing's eyes were stony, peeved expression morphing onto his features. "Jongdae, when is it going to get through to you that I have no intention of leaving? Particularly in the time you need me most, particularly in the time I need you most. We're bringing Luhan and Jongin back as a team. You of all people know that."

Jongdae nodded. "I know," he paused. "But what I have to say next may not sit well with you, so that's why I'm airing it out as a possibility, one I won't attempt to stop you making, if it turns out to be the case. I made a vow that night that no one would ever lay a hand on my brother. It wouldn't matter if it was me; they could fight me, stab me, tie me up and I wouldn't bat an eyelid, but I'd die before I'd let them lay a finger on Jongin. I didn't make this vow to myself alone, I made it to my parents, too. Dead as they are. And They very well may think they've made me break this vow, but they're wrong, because I will find him. But knowing their strength and capability, I can't charge in head first with torches blazing. I need a plan and I need to execute it as perfectly as they did the slaughter that night. They're expecting me to charge first, question later. Whatever this vendetta against my family and me is, they know us better than we're comfortable admitting. Maybe my parents triggered it, but Jongin and I are the ones that have to finish it. And they've made that abundantly clear.  
But this Archangel... maybe it is by fate, I don't know, this Archangel -- as we call him, he's not here by chance, Yixing. Our paths overlap, and he truly can help us fight this war and make sure it ends in our favor. No matter which angle I look at it, I need all the help I can get from this... from Daehyun. So for that reason, I'm not going to push him away. I'm going to welcome him, I'm going to allow him to lead me to Them, because whether I want him to be or not, he's the strongest lead I have to finding my brother. And he's the closest lead you have to finding Luhan. If you truly don't want us to team up with him, I understand. But this risk -- if it is a risk -- is one I'm damn well willing to take." He stopped here, catching his breath, tone softening at his next words, "Whether you want to join me or not."

Yixing stay quiet, something of a pride bubbling within him, though he didn't voice it, and though it went amiss to Jongdae. In no variant was he about to up and leave the younger, regardless of their circumstances. He just wished Jongdae could get to a point where he'd believe it, wholeheartedly.

"But before we embark on this journey, I have to get these books first. I didn't get to look thoroughly the first time I visited my old house, but I will the second."

"Except you're not the one who's going to be doing that, Jongdae," Yixing sang.

Jongdae raised an eyebrow, glancing at an amused looking Yixing.

"There's no way I'm putting you back into that void place from before, so regardless of recent additions, I'll be the one to retrieve the books. He -- Daehyun," the name still tasting a tad unfamiliar on his tongue. "Lives with the newest inhabitants, doesn't he? An...?"

"Anna," Jongdae said, nose then crinkling at the thought of the boy he'd encountered many hours ago. "And Taemin. It probably is better if you go, because if that kid were to get smart with me again, I wouldn't be held liable for what happens to him."

"Which means he's familiar with the area, and will ensure that I don't get lost. You stay here and allow yourself to heal whilst I ask... Daehyun to accompany me to your old house and help me bring these books back to the camp."

Jongdae peered at him, contemplative expression coating his eyes. "And what if you try lead him into a corner and attempt to assassinate him?" Jongdae raised an eyebrow. "I know how long it takes for you to put your full trust in someone, Yixing. Besides, I'm in a stronger place currently than I was, and apparently got healed in heaven, so it's less of risk for me to go now than it had been then. Technically."

"Well whatever you saw there, kick started this, did it not? Who's to say it won't happen again?"

Jongdae pursed his lips, opening his mouth in protest, but was cut off.

"Daehyun's an Archangel, meaning he has that kind of energy brewing within him, and will be beside you, whilst you pass through the Foreseen Forest, encompassing negative energy. So once you enter your old house and see what you saw the first time, or if takes you back, once you're back here, we're exactly where we started. All over again. And we're not going through a void ordeal a second time, Jongdae."

Jongdae scowled. "I can handle this, Yixing."

"No. You're still healing and we were told it will take exactly twenty four hours for this to full wear off. So in that time, you're going to sit here and you're going to wait it out. I intend to be with you every step of the way, but if these books are of utmost importance, then we'll need them too. You don't have to be the one to retrieve them if that puts you in an uncomfortable position. And I don't plan of attempting to assassinate an Archangel, especially one who claims he can't die by human methods, no matter how intricate. I wouldn't even be at my highest capacity, knowing my blade is missing." Yixing sighed, seeming more saddened at this than his next statement. "And my arm is broken. A fight with him, leans heavily in his favor at the moment, and I know I like dueling, but I don't like idiocy, and this leans heavily in favor of the latter. So believe me when I say it's not on the agenda. I saw from Lilian previously that accepting this so called bond allows you to have this sort of telepathic connection with him, or he can speak to you from afar, across borders, or whatever. And if you accept this bond, it allows you both to know when you're within each other's vicinity, it's how they locate each other in heaven or something. Beats me how this entire thing works, but it'll allow you to know when we're back the instant we're back, and probably will help in the future... journey. So I think it's worthwhile that you accept the bond."

Jongdae nodded. "Me too."

"So go do that. Accept your bond, and then we'll retrieve these books." Yixing then cast a glance to the camp. "Oh and, the other three seem, maybe minus Lilian, to be quite calm willed. I don't see them starting an argument for an arguments sake, especially in unfamiliar territory. So whilst I'm getting these books, make them a meal or something. They've been walking a while and are probably famished."

Jongdae's expression instantly soured. "We have limited supplies," he grumbled.

"Jongdae..."

"I'm not babysitting," he said indignantly. "Point blank. They want food, they can find their own damn supplies and they can make it themselves."

Yixing sent him a look that dared him to go against his word, to which Jongdae sighed, exaggeratedly, before stomping away from the elder male.

Yixing snorted. "Stop being dramatic."

He turned back to him for a second. "I'll go accept the bond, in hopes of blocking out any thought of babysitting them," his nose crinkled. "And assisting her."

Yixing's laugh was incredulous, but incredulously humored. "You truly can't deal with the fact she stood up to you, can you?" His laughter echoed in Jongdae's ears. "Even with a knife to her throat. Amazing."

"No comment," Jongdae grunted, stalking off to Daehyun.

"She also saved your life, if you weren't aware."

And though it was faint, he swore he heard Jongdae utter an, "any damn person on the planet would be capable of doing so with the assistance of the _Archangel of Death_. Don't know why the heck she deserves brownie points for that. If I were her, I would've let me die, damn it. Anything instead of having to say thank you to... ugh."

 

It was only a recent discovery but Jongdae had found the more he interacted with the golden haired Archangel, the less able he was to genuinely look him in the eye. Maybe because the closer he was in proximity, the more it felt as if Daehyun could see to the very core of his soul, see all he was hiding. He wasn't one to worry about prestige or class by any means, but he felt... dulled in comparison to the golden haired being, who seemed to be wrapped in this perpetual glisten. Of what seemed to be glory.

"After some thought, I've decided that I'll accept your proposition, both in accepting our supposed bond and in teaming up to embark on this journey."

"A wise decision, I am grateful. Please sit." As he gestured to the log a few footfalls away from their current position in which they stood.

Jongdae did, as did Daehyun, who wasted no time in cutting to the chase. "Jongdae, do you feel peculiarly safe around me, even upon first meeting? As if you can trust me, and you assume no ill intentions on my part, not because you are aware that such ill intentions do not manifest within me from prior and frequent interaction, but upon initial basis, to you, I feel trustworthy? That there is some invisible pull between us, some voice within you that assures you I am on your side and wish not to place harm upon you."

"Safe?" Jongdae chewed at the inside of his cheek. "As thankful as I am for your help, I don't exactly feel safe around anyone. You kind of... can't in this life."

Daehyun peered at Jongdae closely, inspecting him. "Yixing," he said. "You feel safe around Yixing, do you not?"

Jongdae faltered. He did trust Yixing, but given how long he'd known the elder and what they'd witnessed together, that was a given. "Well, I've known Yixing for years, and after all we've been through, he's more like family."

"Then for humans, it would appear that trust is developed over a length of time in opposition to sealing a bond that caters to this phenomena."

"Generally, yeah." He glanced at the Archangel, who the more often he looked at, the more ethereal he appeared to become. An other wordly quality that steadily made itself apparent.

"So, truthfully, Jongdae, how does it feel to be in my presence? Please speak no lies, I will not be offended if the response is not in my favor."

"Truthfully?" Jongdae took a deep breath. "Quite terrifying, honestly. But there's also curiosity, doubt." He looked down at his palms. "But more so than doubt, hope. I feel weirdly vulnerable, but protected. Not like I can't protect myself, but with you around, there's this feeling that you truly encompass the knowledge and power to survive an attack from an enemy, to help us survive an attack from an enemy. Like I could rely on you to guard this camp as I slept, even as Yixing slept. Us sleeping at the same time has been an impossibility over this past week, so I'd take it as a compliment, more so than anything else."

Daehyun listened intently. "Would you classify this as a feeling of safety?"

Jongdae nodded, albeit a little reluctantly. "I believe I would, yes."

"And a week ago. Your brother, Kai. A week ago he went missing?"

Jongdae felt a little guilty for a reason he didn't seem able to pinpoint at Daehyun's use of his brother's code name. "Jongin," he corrected, quietly. "Kai's real name is Jongin."

"Jongin," Daehyun corrected himself. "He is the pinnacle of trust for you? Personifies it to a degree others could only dream of?"

Jongdae ran a hand through his hair, moving it away from face. "It's a little different with Jongin. As much as I do trust him, evidently, I'm the older one, so I've always felt this strong sense of responsibility for him and his well being. I know he'd never hurt me, but he... he's my responsibility. And I'd do anything to protect him, even if that means putting myself in the firing line, facing the brunt of the situation."

Daehyun hummed at this, as if it had piqued his own curiosity. "As if you are his Mentor?"

"Well, I don't know about Mentor, but I'm his brother."

"Perhaps family and blood relations ever present in humanity mimic closely what we Archangels and Angels alike share within our alignments."

"I wouldn't doubt it," Jongdae said, nodding. He then seemed to momentarily zone back into his surroundings. "Can I ask why we're conducting this... procedure in such a secluded area if so far, it's nothing but conversation?"

"I would deem it unwise to subject human companions to too much of my ability in one sitting, especially as the ones whom accompany me have recently passed through the Foreseen Forest and have not slept soundly these past nights, nor have they eaten; your friend is injured and has placed more stress on himself throughout this ordeal than he may have yet realized." He paused. "Along with this, we are more receptive to signals, when humans are in this stage. So may mistake what is a simple call for help -- that could be carried out by any of our kind -- as a suspect of our particular alignment. If we isolate the subject in question, we are able to confirm for certain, without interference from peers' wants or worries. Humans act differently when they alone, compared to when they are accompanied, from observation. Energies manifest differently."

Jongdae nodded.

"There is something of a serenity in knowing that what we discuss will be conducted privately and stay confidential. I will not share what has been spoken here with any other, not even my own kind. Should you wish to, you may tell me what has been, or presently is troubling you."

Jongdae bit at his lip, before teetering into topic he'd been thinking about. "If this process is the only way to truly confirm, how come you seem to be so sure I'm one of yours?" He didn't make direct eye contact at this. "What happens if you're -- we're -- wrong? Does that mean heaven can't align me, or... accept me?"

"No," Daehyun said, almost instantly. "It would simply be a failure on my part. If you are not one of mine, you are sure to be seeking the guidance of one of my brothers. I seem sure because I do not speak with haste upon suspicion of alignment, and I believe I am noticing a pattern between my alignment members, thus making it easier to identify them, but I must present with you the knowledge, if it is to turn out that you are not one of mine, as unlikely as that may be. There are barriers that do not exist in heaven upon earth, which means procedural confirmation is the sure fire way, much more reliable than suspicion and pattern alone."

Jongdae nodded, and didn't reply, but his eyebrows drew together in contemplation, making no move to initiate anything, nor edge closer to the Archangel.

"Something is troubling you," he stated, peering closer at the dark haired boy, who seemed to move back a notch each time the Archangel attempted to bridge the distance between them. "Are you nervous, Jongdae?"

"I just... I keep thinking. I keep thinking, and the more I think, the more I convince myself that this isn't..." He briefly met Daehyun's eyes. "That there's been a mistake. It was briefly mentioned, but it's stuck with me. You're of a Light alignment, right?"

Daehyun nodded. "Indeed."

"And if so... I don't... I can't envision myself belonging there. No matter how hard I try."

"And why not, Jongdae?"

"Because I'm not... light like that. I don't possess the kind of glory you radiate. Or ability that links with your alignment. I understand it's a work in progress but I don't believe I ever will."

"Belonging to a Light alignment does not mean you have to associate light with yourself or radiate light itself, Jongdae. It simply means you deal with light energy, the living. My force is set to encompass warriors of the greatest strength, by no technical means are they 'light' beings. Some are to fight battles that will end in mass bloodshed, myself included, past, present and future. Taekwoon collects and guides the dead, and works with dark energy, quite frankly the darkest of energy we can muster, but has never spilled blood himself. Light or dark alignment is not an assessment of morality."

"But that's exactly it," Jongdae said. "I'm not good with life. As much as I try convince myself otherwise, death has always followed me. Loomed over my shoulder. Technically, I've never killed anyone myself, but people still die when I'm vicinity. At some point, eventually."

Daehyun blinked, contemplating this. "Every mortal life has its end," he said. "Premeditated."

"I know that. And I don't mean like that," Jongdae said, chewing at his lip. "But within seconds of interacting with you, it's plain to see the ability you hold. How you can instill strength in others. But with me... that's not present. I've never done that. It's like something has latched on to me and seeps into those around me and only ever ends up in chaos, destruction or death. Not valor, glory or strength."

"Unless it has gone unnoticed to you," Daehyun stated, peering at Jongdae. "You are young, your social circle small. You have seen things other humans never will, subjected to the most destructive kind of evil around, at such a young age. If it is true the Nocens tail this particular area, in hopes of securing their past territory, negative happenings will take place. Regularly. That is not your doing, that does not define your character. It is what is to be considered a natural occurrence given your current situation and surroundings. I do not know if this has been said, but you did not do anything to warrant what happened to you or your family. Evil latches, evil does not always have motive. The best option for you right now, and will be taking place as we team up, is us leaving this forest."

Jongdae nodded, but kept quiet, feeling he had more to say.

"The reason I have the affect I do on people is because I am an Archangel, Jongdae. I have practiced my area of expertise since before your family chain had even been conceptualized. For you to think I expect you to be at my level, without intervention from me or my kind, is a misconception. And an impossibility. We are a patient race, we are a prepared race. You lead a mortal life and we are aware of, hence why we plan for our actual transitions to take place once you have passed on from this mortal life, and entered our realm for good. We do not rush, nor interfere with predetermined destiny. Our interaction is an abnormality in itself, as I am the first of my brothers to enter a mission as close in proximity with humans as I currently am. We have watched from afar and in the shadows for centuries, but you will be hard pressed to find an Archangel interacting this close with a human in our scriptures. Any bonds that I seal here, are simply just markings, and will help in the long run for when you do transition over to us, but will not change your destiny on earth, nor shorten your lifespan."

"And I had that feeling," Jongdae said. "Which is exactly why I'm worried."

"Please continue."

"If I let you take me on board, and I ignore this... whatever this thing is, within me, and things start going wrong, in a way that is detrimental to you or your force, then I don't know if I can forgive myself for allowing myself to go through with this." He paused. "I'm not saying I don't belong in your force, only time will tell through the bond activation and whether it falls through or suceeds, but I don't think... I'm a smart choice for you. Or your team. I think I'd be a risk, a risk you shouldn't be willing to take."

"And why is that, Jongdae?"

"Because if I'm sure of anything, I'm sure that something within me is poisoned, and it isn't fixable. It's not able to be purified, it's not able to be glorified and if it's going to be represented by any color, the last damn color it's going to be is golden. I think with what you've explained, how a call for help can be mistaken as seeking your guidance, I think that's what has happened. In fact, I think I know exactly who it is that deserves to be under your alignment."

"Who is that, Jongdae?"

He didn't feel like he was pulling at strings to justify this theory, he didn't feel like he had to exaggerate any prior happenings of his life to slot them in to what Daehyun described. "Yixing."

"And I think you are misinformed," came the reply of the Archangel, though it was curt, non insulting. "As you do not believe in your own strength, that is where the issue lies."

"Because it's non existent," Jongdae said, sounding angry at himself. "No matter how much I try and pretend it's there. If I pull this thing apart, look at it in the sum of its parts, Yixing is the one who's carried this entire thing. From the beginning and likely to the end. If I hadn't have met him and teamed up with him when I did, I don't know where I'd be right now. I have no idea how I would've fared. But I can bet the picture wouldn't be pretty." He took a breath, glancing out at his surroundings, almost resentfully. "If Jongin had've died like my parents that night, I know for a fact I'd be a rampant killer, mowing down any in my path, regardless of their innocence. Who would've turned to you, even after being saved and entering heaven with your brother, and told you to shove it. If any one of us," referencing the four. "Is deserving of the title of power and glory, the color gold, and you as their Mentor, it's Yixing. Yixing is the strength of this operation, not me. You have the wrong guy. We've mistaken a call for help as me seeking your guidance, like you mentioned."

He didn't stop here. "I'm not saying it confirms it, but I spoke well with Taekwoon. I could look him in the eye in a way I'm struggling with you, since this thing started. Does that count for anything?"

"Not much," the Archangel said. "Taekwoon and I, alignment members alike, are able to see eye to eye, can easily bounce off the other, if necessity of the situation calls for it. I have witnessed this time and time again. But one thing we are assured of, even before the procedure takes place is that if you resonate Light energy, you are to be aligned with a Light Mentor, of which there are two. Taekwoon is a Mentor of a Dark alignment, meaning he encompasses Dark energy. Getting along with him, puts you more in favor of my alignment than of my brothers', the fourth born, fellow Light Mentor."

"Who is he, then? Alignment wise and stuff...?"

Daehyun paused, contemplative. Deciding it would be okay to identify him by full name, especially after the humans had placed such trust in him, he did. "His name is Jinki, and he is the Archangel of Healing. Pardon me if you feel this crosses a line of comfort, but from what you have presented to me thus far, I would say you do not lean in the favor of belonging to the aforementioned Healing alignment."

Jongdae nodded, sighing in agreement.

"The very fact that morality comes into question for you, regardless of how you feel you stand on the matter, makes it abundantly clear to me that you are one of mine and are seeking my guidance. The fact that you feel you must purify yourself and present the strongest form you are capable of to fully qualify, only strengthens this. Gold as a color has predetermined meaning to you, even without my addition, shows you have thought about it before, taken it into consideration; as if the color itself is the pinnacle of the mountain, a shield of armor you must wear, you must qualify for. Your determination to find your brother is next to none, Jongdae. The lengths you are willing to go to bring him back safe and alive speak wonders for you. The fact that you have been in close contact with the Nocens -- or as you deem Them -- yet are fighting so intensely against what they represent, also. Everything is pointing in my direction, I would not say this if it were not true." He edged closer to Jongdae, who didn't brunch back this time. At least not visibly. "The issue is that you truly do not realize your own strength. Nor the affect it has had on others."

"But what about Yixing?"

"I do not believe Yixing is one of mine, Jongdae."

"And why not?"

"We do not resonate the same energy, we are conflicting in a way I have not with you, neither Lilian, regardless of how you conflict with each other. Humans and Angels alike, seek their Mentor and the guidance of their Mentor, they do not always seek each other." Jongdae nodded at this, seeming a thankful that he didn't have to present fake niceities to Lilian for the sake of being aligned to the same Archangel. "There are barriers within him, he is reluctant to accept my existence, my kinds' existence, even after witnessing what happened with the void. I am unsure of how to go about this, perhaps it would take first hand experience for -- his own -- to come to full acceptance of it. Only when the barriers fall, will we truly be able to determine which of my brothers' guidance he seeks. Though I feel it is not mine."

"He's pretty stubborn, so it'll surely lessen over time."

"Then we can wait, we have time." He edged closer. "Will you see this through, Jongdae?"

"Not just yet," Jongdae said, clearing his throat. "Not until you answer me this one question."

Daehyun motioned for him to continue.

"I know I'm supposed to be forgetting, meaning I probably shouldn't be thinking about it and definitely not overthinking it but... the power She had, even when bound and chained, it was palpable, Daehyun. And I understand that she's not presently a threat when she's chained there, especially when your brothers know how to keep her under wraps, but the son she mentioned, time and time again, the reason she so convincingly portrayed my brother, besides being able to latch onto me and every thought, feeling and memory, is because she's experienced that same love, that responsibility. But not for a brother, for her son. She wasn't just playing out an alternate upbringing between Jongin and I, at least not emotionally... she was playing out her own life's events, her own emotions through my brother's holographic vessel, wasn't she? The suffering, the hints of abuse, abandonment, longing, jealousy... all of it. I know this is going to leave me in the morning, but can't you use that to your advantage -- what I've experienced?"

"We could," Daehyun said. "But she is no longer an ongoing threat, so it can be taken or left. An issue if one is to fall into her corner, and pique her interest, such as happened with yourself. But the odds of that are very, very low. She is a powerful being, she has standards, and choice. If those of her kind end up there and near her, she will request their allegiance, evidently, but as they have hierarchies, will never allow herself to use one below her as a vessel, it would demean her. If a heaven bound inhabitant ended up there, not only would they be retrieved by my brothers that tail those borders almost instantly, if they did end up in her hold, she would attempt to play with their mind, spook them, but deems us tainted so would never go out of her way to use us as a vessel, seeing it as a strike against her own kind, and demeaning to her. That narrows it down to unaligned humans, who are not dead, because those who are dead, to her, are deemed useless. This human has to be alive -- and the probability of alive humans in this void is absolutely dismal -- this human must have connections to her, or events that took place within her lifetime, this human must be of significant strength and this human must be alive and not accompanied by an Archangel, who can and will save them before She can make the switch. It is a lot of requirements to fit, not a one size fit all, as you can see."

"So being aligned will shield me, then?"

"Absolutely."

"And in terms of being a present vessel for She it's basically just me or Jongin that qualifies, then?"

"Precisely. If you align yourself, you are out of the equation and that will leave only your brother as an option."

"But that's the exact thing you haven't delved into, isn't it? The fact that the son still lives, is currently unlocatable to your kind, just as powerful as She, if not growing stronger. Jongin's in the hands of Them currently, has connections to She, fits all the requirements to become her living vessel. If the son is with Them and is aware of all of this, what's stopping him from sacrificing my brother to bring back his mother, to wreak havoc on earth? I need to accept this bond so I can ensure that I'm alive to bring Jongin back, but he has no way of securing such a bond, nor even who he's seeking the guidance of..."

"In the worst turn of events, that could be on the agenda. The Son is as powerful as She or is getting there, but he does not always have the same plans as his mother. We do not know for certain if bringing her back would be on the agenda."

"But it's possible?"

"Yes," Daehyun confirmed.

"And the Son is the reason you're here, finding him is the reason you walk the earth, right? And retrieval, too? Of who, exactly?"

For a moment, it seemed Daehyun's collected exterior cracked, something of a vulnerability appearing in his eyes. "To collect my... we call them Destined Ones. The one human in our alignment that seeks us, rather than us seeking them. They are advanced in terms of their transition, though it comes at the cost of something integral in their humans lives. It is not always an easy process. They need the Archangels' full attention for some months during their transition, as in their vulnerable mortal state, finding their way to us can go horrifically wrong. He paused for a second. "Mine did as I mentioned. He took something of a wrong turn."

"Took a wrong turn?" There was something of a smile on Jongdae's face, as if he was minorly amused at the thought. "The ship went to the wrong pier or the horse died before he reached the correct city, which was it?"

Daehyun wore apprehension. "Ended up in a base full of high caliber enemies that is currently undetectable to myself or my brothers."

"How'd he do that?"

"Through... time travel, Jongdae. I have neglected to mention because this is all so new to all of you, but once you transition, you will be trained in areas of your Mentors' mastery. Sent on missions, with or without them, but always with companions, to find information, make discoveries, sometimes participate in battles or wars, keep Heaven's bloodstream flowing. In Heaven, you train. Outside of Heaven, you participate in missions." He paused, to catch his breath. "Taekwoon theorizes that those of Dark alignment will always end up closer to the mark should they take their transition into their own hands, end up closer to our borders. He traveled by means of my alignment, but in doing so, stayed on earth, did not end up in our borders. It was a miscalculation, it was unexpected, I did not recommend it, but he believed himself ready, and is now here. And at any cost, I must retrieve him, make sure he is not injured. It interlocks with the inevitable meeting with my rival, though unlocatable, is likely to be in this base. Who by any means, I cannot risk him setting his sights on my Destined One, especially if he is to find out who he is and what is intended for him. The level of suffering that will be subjected to him if that outcome were to take place is unspeakable."

It was kind of a harrowing thought for Jongdae. "So we're really in the same predicament then?"

"Yes."

"But if they've ended up at the same place, Jongin and..." He peered at Daehyun, expecting him to fill in the blank space with a name, but received nothing. He almost scoffed. "You won't tell me his name, will you?"

Daehyun twiddled with his thumbs, mulling it over. "I would like to. But..."

"Not just yet, I get it. I'll probably have to be aligned to you first, I get it." But the curiosity wouldn't lessen. "How about an initial?"

Daehyun nodded. "K," he said.

"Is that from a nickname?"

"Real name."

"So K then, he's from the future?"

"The 1900s."

"The 1900s," Jongdae repeated, slightly incredulous. "Ninety years from now, really?"

"One hundred actually. He arrived here from the year 1910, two years before his Destined death date, according to Taekwoon. Against all of our better judgement, he proceeded to go through with this. He is too advanced for his own good, which is not intended as a compliment, I am becoming worried. I feel this is happening much too quickly, and consequences of ending up in that base can be dire. Which is why this mission cannot fail."

"Why two years from 1910, what happened in 1912?"

"He was destined to die on a ship, possibly the most famous ship of all, knowledge of which came through Taekwoon. They called it the RMS Titanic. But by some odds, K figured this out -- he tinkers with these little machines, creations to help aid him, well aware of his ability -- and ended up ahead of the year he should presently be experiencing, usually only by months. This time it went years ahead, he saw this as fantastic progress. This was how we connected. But speaking eventually lost its sparkle to him, and he started talking about transitioning, making his way to me. I believe I gave him too much knowledge of our kind, piqued his interest further. I strongly advised against his wishes, told him that apart from sealing a bond, which I could bring him to heaven to do at the time, and promptly send him back to live his life out naturally, no more meetings would take place. Transitioning would happen in its due course.  
These are the kind of endeavors that cannot and should not be rushed. Taekwoon is well versed in these endeavors of Destined kind and in how they play out, thus his presence and insight has been integral throughout.  
Time travel is an ability that ties to my alignment, but I do not wish to make you believe that I am hopping between eras and dimensions like it will go out of fashion, as of present moment -- merely test runs that do not last too long at all. We are warriors and we are adventurers, but up until Taekwoon's appearance I believed I was solely a Warrior, unaware this Adventurer side of myself existed.  
I have dabbled in this side of myself, but will admit my capabilities are quite mismatched, it is known in heaven that the travelling side of myself needs more exposure, outside of travelling from heaven to earth and city to city, which I am well versed.  
Taekwoon believes K's appearance will trigger this, and evidently so. Taekwoon believes it will manifest more naturally the more my force grows, as the more reason to travel between eras, pick up on nuances that we may have missed, will appear.  
Taekwoon is coming to the conclusion, that the Destined One of an alignment, can be the trigger another area of expertise of the alignment, and what starts the journey of mastery on said area, hence why it is something of a treasured phenomena."

There was a few seconds of silence. "K went against the better judgement of myself and my brothers, believing he was onto something special, that he had found the winning formula, and he may have, in some form. But he did not go two years ahead, or two years behind this time around, he went one hundred years behind his current year and has ended up in this exact timeline, with what he has told us is a broken machine, and no way out of his surroundings, nor even any knowledge of where his surroundings are.  
We met to seal the bond prior to him departing, but presently can only communicate by -- what is now -- faulty telepathy, due to his surroundings and the frequencies that manifest there. It comes and it goes, it cracks, it does not flow like that between Lilian and myself experienced, but exists even in its minor form because we have sealed the bond and he has something of an accelerated aptitude as a Destined One. And presently this my only lead to him."

"But if there's telepathy, then you can communicate, right?" Daehyun nodded. "And if he's ended up in the same place as Jongin, then maybe we can figure out some way to lead them to each other and shine light on their surroundings and findings and get closer to them, from this. Rescue them together."

"Even now, those seeking my guidance never fail to surprise me, in the best possible way. It is times like these when I realize I am as blessed to have you all as you may feel towards me, I believe the heaven we will forge will be a great one. Better than it has ever been."

Jongdae was the one to twiddle with his thumbs this time. "I know it's going to be a while until it all happens, but can I say I'm excited to be a part of it? And in such, perhaps really would like to seal the bond." Realizing he felt more at ease in Daehyun's presence than ever before, that they truly did have the same goal, that everything was unfolding faster than he could've even contemplated.

"Of course," came the reply. "But before we do, if I may ask you a question?"

Jongdae nodded.

"Your friend," Daehyun said, as if in thought. "Yixing."

"Yes," Jongdae said, not following along. "What about him?"

"He is injured. It would be unwise to bring an injured participant onto our journey."

Jongdae's eyebrows furrowed. "Are you trying to suggest that we keep him here?"

"No," the blond said, pausing, wondering if he was ever going to get over communication lapses with the humankind, or notify when he had made them. "Just that you let me help him. I need your permission. Perhaps help."

Jongdae's eyebrows furrowed together. "With what?"

"To heal his injuries. I was going to suggest it earlier to your friend, but it appears as if we have an issue in communication that must be bridged. But I am certain your friend will listen to you. If given permission, I am able to restore him to full health."

"As I said, he's a little stubborn, so it may take some convincing, but he knows as much as anyone we can't risk injuries in the long term. Even the short term."

Daehyun nodded. "Then it shall be arranged." He ushered Jongdae closer. "Now please take a hold of my hand."

Jongdae stare at him oddly for a few moments before nodding.

"Though I am fairly certain already, I must confirm. Right now you are unaware, but if you focus, you will subject yourself to an energy that your kind generally passes by. You must be in something of a meditative state. Relax your tense shoulders, allow yourself to disassociate from your surroundings."

Jongdae nodded, taking a deep breath and letting his tense shoulders loosen. Daehyun scooted closer, and once he had, he gently took Jongdae's hand and held it in his own.

"Close your eyes," Daehyun's voice was soft, nonthreatening. "Ignore your sight and focus on the sound. The touch. Tell me what you hear, sound activates first."

"A." Jongdae stopped. "--Gentle breeze...? Kind of like a summer afternoon."

Daehyun nodded. "Perfect. Now the touch. What do you feel?"

Jongdae hummed. "Tingles."

"Are they gentle? Erratic?"

"They're... intense," a visible wince on his features. "Kind of... too much, actually. It's not exactly comfortable."

"It is to be expected," Daehyun assured. "Given your recent circumstances. But as I predicted, you are seeking my guidance. You are to be placed under my alignment, Jongdae." He paused, glancing at him, as if asking if there was still doubt within Jongdae without words.

Jongdae shrugged. "Well I can't deny it now, so go for it."

 

Yixing made his way over to Daehyun, after a Jongdae who looked more serene than he'd witnessed for days -- possibly even weeks -- told him what was about to take place.  
"I'll let you try your heavenly mumbo jumbo on me under one condition," he stated.  
  
Daehyun nodded, though it appeared a little guarded, more curt than personable. "Which is?"  
  
"You agree to take me to your current earthly residence so we can pick up some books. Books Jongdae needs. Be on the lookout for threats or whatever if you need to be, but know I'm going instead of Jongdae so he doesn't end up in the void place again. It won't be long, and I'm not trying to seclude you so I can attack you, I give you my word."  
  
"Though you are aware it would be unwise to leave this camp unsupervised, when both Jongdae and Lilian are situated within it? I realize they are of the same alignment but I cannot force them to mesh well... if something were to happen whilst we were away..."  
  
Yixing smiled to himself at this. "I've made him vow that he won't attempt anything, that he'll even cook them dinner."  
  
"Something tells me he is just saying that for the sake of it."  
  
"Even so, if he doesn't, I'll cook them dinner once we return."  
  
Daehyun nodded. "I can always ask for assistance from my brother to watch over them, we need not worry in this sense either."  
  
Yixing sent his agreement. "So what is it you're going to do to my arm?"  
  
"Heal it. It will not take long." He edged closer to Yixing who had taken a seat, placing his hands atop his injured arm, before chanting a string of sentences. Yixing watched, like he had with Lilian, as a spritz of color, magnificent in shade wrapped around the limb in question, coating it gently.  
  
"It's kind of tickling me."  
  
"It will fade."  
  
Seconds later, it did. Yixing lay out his arm, a little sheepishly at first, expecting a stabbing pain. The pain didn't manifest and instead he had complete control over the limb and the movement, moving it freely, as he had days prior. He blinked in astonishment.  
  
"Anywhere else that hurts?"  
  
"I have a deep cut against my torso, but if it's too much effort you don't have to--"  
  
"Worry not," the Archangel said. "I said I would heal all of you, I intend to heal all of you."

Once this had taken place, Daehyun with Yixing in tow, made their way back to where the rest of the camp sat. Jongdae was quiet, but the serene atmosphere from him hadn't dissipated. He was perched next to Jongup, who'd glance at him every so often, weariness present. They didn't speak.  
  
Lilian and Chunji appeared to be playing a game in the dirt, scraping small branches against the soil to make what looked like x's and o's. Yixing wasn't sure what game they were playing, but they were entranced in it.  
  
Chunji's victorious laughter echoed whilst Lilian scowled.  
  
"We're not finished," she grumbled.  
  
And in a strange way, it was like watching Jongdae and Jongin all over again. It left Yixing with a fond smile.  
  
"Yixing and myself are about to take a quick trip outside of the camp, to return soon. I will have Taekwoon watch over you, though not in person, he will be seeing everything that takes place. So stay close, do not wander off alone, do not enter the Foreseen Forest alone. Know you are safe and if anything is to happen he will physically manifest and protect you." He sent a glance between Jongdae and Lilian and said with emphasis, "know blood is not to be shed this afternoon."  
  
With that he directed Yixing towards the forest, tailing up ahead.

Yixing chuckled. "There's a ton of history to this forest we're unaware of, isn't there?" He titled his head at the Archangel, who seemed hesitant to make his way into the forest. "But there's something else, isn't there?--That's going to affect us right now. That you haven't let me in on. What is it?"  
  
"It will not affect you, beyond a facet of hearing 'voices' and a general atmosphere of unease," Daehyun said almost instantly. "...There are energies in this forest, and as deep as they are, as encoded as the will of evil is here, such energies will react against my presence and injure me. Nothing detrimental, nothing I have not faced before, but there is no way of escaping it. It may not be pleasant to witness, so if you wish to avert your eyes, you are welcome."  
  
Yixing peered at him closely. "And even so, you're willing to accompany me? Why didn't you make this known beforehand?"  
  
Daehyun was quiet for some time. "I do not see it of much importance," he eventually said. "You requested help, so help you shall receive."  
  
"Even if that's at your own expense?"  
  
"As I said before, it is nothing detrimental. I will heal. This is likely to be the last trip we make through the Foreseen Forest, including the way back, before we are to embark on our journey. If this is a trip that must take place, then I see no reason to forfeit it, simply because I will acquire minor injuries." He paused. "Though throughout our journey, I am to make visit to Anna and Taemin whenever it is possible, so perhaps that does not hold entirely true on my end." There was another pause. "However, in my case..."  
  
Yixing raised another eyebrow. "You're about to tell me you have other means of travelling, aren't you? That don't involve walking through the Foreseen Forest and probably don't even involve walking."  
  
Daehyun nodded in confirmation.  
  
"Well, should we go by those means, if that would mean you don't acquire any injuries?"  
  
Daehyun his head. "I may not acquire injuries that way, but you will. It is something your kind has to train themselves up towards, and is much easier and much smoother once you have transitioned, hence why I would not recommend it right now. If I place too many of those accompanying me through endeavors of this caliber, I put you at risk. As your guide and as a Mentor, this is not something I wish to do. To any of you. I want to ensure your safety and well being."  
  
Yixing nodded, trusting in this more than he had before. "Fair enough," he said. "I know the route to village well enough, so I can walk ahead until we have to make the turn to your residence?" And though he was curious, he promised himself he couldn't turn back to look at the affect the forest had on Daehyun.  
  
"Of course."  
  
As much as he'd make conversation with those close to him, it wasn't something he was adept at with strangers. He didn't know what turn of conversation to take with them most of the time, and especially not with an Archangel. So for that reason, he kept quiet as he walked on ahead, only hearing Daehyun's footsteps as he trailed behind. The footsteps were lighter than he had imagined them to be, they didn't drag, there was no echo, but his presence was clearly there, the energy of him palpable.  
  
Once they reached the end of the forest, and Daehyun had 'healed himself, Yixing turned to him, curiosity lining his features. "Can I ask a question?"  
  
Daehyun nodded.  
  
"Admittedly I have trust issues and the very last thing I'm known for doing is trusting a stranger off the bat, but that lessens once I know they're trustworthy. You've showcased that you don't wish to harm us, rather help up, but even so, I feel like we're not meshing to the level you have with the others, and it's not out of either party being particularly difficult. There's just... something missing. Do you feel that too, or am I making that up?"  
  
"No," Daehyun said. "We have certainly run into communication difficulties. Under pure assumption, it may be because we are of conflicting alignments, but I have yet no proof of whose guidance you are seeking, only that it is not mine. If it is due to conflicting alignment, it is not something to wound yourself over, it is a natural reaction. You will grow used to me as time progresses, as will your acceptance of my presence. At this moment in time, I would deem you as reluctant to believe in my kind, even with proof."  
  
"That's true," Yixing said.  
  
"It is a lot to take in, please give yourself time."  
  
"But even so," he then said, edging in slowly. "I think it has something to do with my friend."  
  
Daehyun came to an abrupt halt, blinking. Was this in reference to Jongdae? "Come again?"  
  
"I'm sorry," Yixing said, shaking his head, as he'd worded it completely wrong. "I don't mean Jongdae or Jongin, the other friend that's gone missing that we haven't spoken about as much, I don't know if you're aware of him or not. It's nothing that you've done even, I just-- I can't help but get reminded of him. It's the hair, or something. I don't know. It's like the position you're going to be taking in this group... pillar of strength for everyone, the one everyone turns to when something goes astray... there's similarities. It's not right, but I cna't help but be thrown off by it."  
  
Daehyun nodded. "Understandable. Something tells me you miss him more than you say."  
  
"That's it," Yixing said, low note to his voice. "That's exactly it. I don't speak of him as much as Jongdae speaks of Jongin, but I think about him just as often, you know? And I blame myself for his disappearance as much as Jongdae blames himself for Jongin's. But something inside me tells me he wouldn't want me to make a big deal about it, or his disappearance in particular. That if we're going to focus on either of the two, then it should be Jongin. Whether that's because it's the way it's always been with the role we've taken with the brothers with them being younger than us, because he's the oldest of us all, because he's capable of saving himself... it doesn't matter. With all that in mind and as strong as he is, we all need help sometimes. It's a lesson he taught us, in all honesty." He peered at Daehyun. "But more than that..." He trailed off.   
  
Daehyun listened, waiting for Yixing to continue.  
  
"I have another question, if you don't mind answering. How important are these missions your kind takes?"  
  
"Deathly," Daehyun answered in an instant.  
  
"So that's confirmation all of this has been thought out to the nth degree and is premeditated, that these kind of missions are beyond important to your kind and something you can't risk failing, that you're evidently not just here to make friends and hold hands with humans. Retrieval is a part of it too, and coincidentally you can assist us in that sense. But even so... there's something more. Something else. I know a thing or two about hiding true intentions or disguising them so things don't seem as outwardly scary at least on your end, so I know I can't be that off the margin in this assessment. But regardless of how scary, I'd like to know what I'm getting into before I get into it. So what else is it, Daehyun? What else are you on earth for?"  
  
But he didn't wait for an answer. "It's to find and to fight your biggest enemy, isn't it?"  
  
Daehyun didn't deny this, instead let out a soft sigh. "I cannot risk letting him walk free if we are to encounter him," he said. "My brothers believe me to be overthinking a run in with him, but know as much as I do the probability of encountering him once again -- after these years of being off our radar -- is much more likely within his own borders than anywhere else. He is not dead and roaming the land of the nonliving, but has found a way to disguise himself from us in the land of the living, a realm which does not naturally belong to him, which in all, puts him in a position of advantage. By logical assumption he will be masterfully hiding in his new realm, guarded with their magic and their energy, in level with a frequency we cannot capture, which is my assessment of how he has gone this long undetected. To go this long without alerting the radar, must mean he is plotting a grand scale scheme in the shadows, that could be miles above that which he has already attempted and gone through with. We cannot allow that to happen, and know that he must be thwarted once found. I did not mention it because I do not expect any of you to stay that long, by this point we will have retrieved your friends and the one I seek to retrieve. Do not worry about this end of the mission."  
  
Yixing didn't look convinced. "But that's the thing," he muttered, tone souring, knowing it wasn't an intentional dig at his loyalty, but having loyalty questioned in any form didn't sit well with him. Once it was there, it was there. It wasn't going to be magically retracted. "Once we're involved, we're involved, and if they're as strong as we've been told, Archangel or not, if they have a force that outnumbers you alone, and they're prepared for an attack from your kind at any given moment, wouldn't it be better to have backup of your own? If we go through with this, know Jongdae and myself are trained and will be willing to help. But I think it's wise you involve more of your own kind, too. To even the odds. I don't like the sound of this guy, nor what he's supposedly capable of. This mission won't just end at retrieval, on any end."  
  
"I do have what you speak of. Backup of my own. I am to meet someone very soon, actually. You must have an attuned sense for such. It may be on and off as he will always have greater matters to attend to, but to ensure utmost safety, he is to accompany us on the latter half of this journey, though I am to fight with my counterpart alone, as will always be."  
  
"Is he a brother we haven't met?"  
  
"The one above that, Yixing. Above all of us. Revered by humans and angels alike."  
  
Yixing backed back an inch at this, expression morphing into disbelief. "No," he said, adamant. "That's not possible."  
  
Daehyun looked mildly humored. "Is it not? How else do you explain me?"  
  
"Archangels at a push, maybe. But... not. No way."  
  
"He is a being many must first see to believe, a chance not all of them experience in one lifetime. Much less remember in others. Though, upon this journey, you will, Yixing. Some would consider it something of a blessing."

"I'll believe it when I see it," Yixing said.

 

Silence had passed between the two of them as they walked, Yixing almost mindlessly, lost in thought. Daehyun had been watching his step, but had felt somewhat out of place within human endeavors since the void and encountering Taekwoon. It was no lie that he was homesick, but he wouldn't risk returning to heaven for even one second through his mission; knowing what the had to carry out, knowing he had a group of humans relying on him and his assistance and his presence in general. But he was steadily coming to the realization that no matter how many days passed, or how many bonds he'd create, humans he'd assist, he could spend centuries upon centuries trying to mold to the human, try to fit in, and fail. His kind wasn't made for an earthly existence, no matter how much they may try to delude themselves into thinking.  
  
His time on earth was limited, but his life in heaven was eternal. Watching over humans from a distance, watching their civilizations develop and thrive in the shadows as enlightening as it was, didn't leave the harrowing sense of loneliness personal interaction brought.  
  
He would meet them many years into the future, but only now had he realized how long a time that actually happened to be for a human. Unlike angels, humans felt every second, every minute, every hour. Week, day, month, year. And they had no way of moving forwards or backwards at will or necessity. They were confined to a realm that they were convinced was the final frontier, when in actuality, was nothing but a learning curve and a stepping stone, at least when viewed by his kind, preparation for the next endeavor.  
  
Time on earth, had allowed him to empathize with the limitations they faced, and to some extent experience them himself. Instilled him with a knowledge that he was to break some of those limitations for a select few, who would then have to live on with the knowledge that they wouldn't see him for the remainder of their earthly existence, and the pain that would cause.  
  
He wished he had a way of softening the pain, letting them know that even when the time came for him to return to heaven, he would still be there in spirit. And he would wait patiently to meet them for when they were to pass on to otherwordly endeavors, help guide them, much as he did on earth. That he'll never forget them.

So when the familiar view of cottage-like home entered his vision, being the first for Yixing, Daehyun insisted Yixing go ahead, whilst he catch up, a few moments later.  
  
Yixing nodded, doing so. He stay to the corner, a few meters away from the house, where two inhabitants -- evidently younger than himself stood, slowly inching closer, hearing fragments of their conversation.  
  
"Anna for the love of god," this came from the mouth of a lithe, brown haired boy. There was evident exasperation in his tone, as he wafted the hands of the girl he'd referred to as Anna away from him. "I already said I'd do the stall. You go see to," what looked like a shudder coursing through him. "De-Li-Lah."  
  
"Stop being so dramatic." She was tall, almost as tall as the long haired boy, but not quite. Her hair was blonde, skin pale, paler than he'd encountered before, perhaps minus Daehyun when witnessing him play out his abilities and he was cast in that unforgettable glimmer, but she made no mistakes in terms of pronunciation, and though he wasn't a native speaker himself, he knew the language well. "Why even bothering agreeing to this if you won't go near them? We have dual responsibility over them now, Taemin. I can't do it all the time."  
  
'Taemin's' nose crinkled. "Anna," he almost whined.  
  
"It's just poop, Taemin. It won't kill you."  
  
"Have you seen the _size_ of the poop?"  
  
"I've been the one that's had to clean it up, so I think so," she grunted, now crinkling her nose at him. "It's your turn."  
  
"I prefer the cats," he said, almost offhandedly, only a second later realizing what he said, enough time to note the expression dropping on his best friend's face.  
  
Anna looked down at her palms, completely quietening.  
  
"Anna," he said softly. "She was a kind old lady who had nothing else to do with her spare time, they're fine, I promise you."  
  
"I suppose," she whispered. "But that doesn't mean I don't miss them any less. Besides, the kind old ladies are the exact type to turn out to be someone they're not, in fables, they're always the witch, or open to sacrifices, and who's not to say the cats aren't now sacrifices? We won't know until we see them again, which we have no proof we're going to."  
  
"Well if we did bring them back, you know there's barely any space for them." He edged closer, taking a light hold of her hand and patting it reassuringly. "Maybe when we get a bigger house, we can have a family of cats running around, happy and safe."  
  
"And how we going to do that? It's not like we make enough here to move somewhere better." She sighed, almost forlornly. "Besides, what about when you're married?"  
  
Taemin looked at her, perplexed. "What about when I'm married?"  
  
"I don't think the person you're married to is going to happy that I'm constantly within vicinity you know, best friend or not, that doesn't always paint the best picture, does it?"  
  
Taemin almost scoffed. "Well if they can't accept you, there's no way I'm accepting them."  
  
"Isn't that a bit of a stretch though? I mean, wouldn't it be annoying to be the wife of a man who's best friend is always within reaching distance and reassurance or not, is quite evidently the person he likes the most and cherishes the most in his life?"  
  
"Well I don't think any girl that makes me choose between my best friend and them is a girl worth being around," he muttered. "And evidently you are the person I like and cherish the most, so--" his eyes sparkled. "I'll just marry you. Problem solved."

Anna hummed, contemplative. "But... is that even allowed? What if our parents don't approve?"  
  
Taemin only shrugged. "Well, seeing as I'm estranged from my parents and yours are seas away, no one is going to tell us we can't, and even if they did, would we listen? Letters don't have to be opened."  
  
Anna stay quiet for a few moments. "But don't you want to marry for love?"  
  
"Don't you love your best friend in ways already, though? Where's the harm in marrying your best friend?" He blinked down at her. "Especially when he's _this_ cute?"  
  
Anna only rolled her eyes at this, but could envision it, in the strangest of ways. It was an odd thought, but it wasn't unsettling. Probably to be expected in their circumstances, seeing as they were closer to each other than any other they knew had actually lived together for some time, never ran out of topics of conversation and never felt at a point where they weren't safe in the others' presence that they'd go out of their way to purposely harm or sabotage the other. There was no guaranteeing much of anything in life, but she was certain Taemin was a staple, that he wasn't going to randomly up and leave one day.  
  
He'd always be there, and he'd always be loyal. As much as they bickered, the their friendship ran deep. Perhaps that _could_ progress into a relationship.

  
It was then that they noticed an approaching figure. "Hello, how can we help yo--" Anna began, only to be cut off a second later, by Taemin.  
  
Taemin stood frozen in his tracks. "Anna," he said, looking quite frozen. "Go inside."  
  
Anna only raised an eyebrow, lightly scoffing at him. "We have a customer to serve, so no. Why should I?"  
  
"This isn't a customer," Taemin said flatly. "And this is the second time in only a few days, don't think I don't know who you people are."  
  
Yixing, who'd been watching prior, had made his way over to the neatly -- he had to say, something he was quite impressed by -- stall. It looked like it had been put together manually, rather than passed over to them. The area atop was neatly presented, also. They probably got more traffic than closely neighboring stalls. He didn't say anything in response to the boy's words, but could understand the apprehension in terms of outward presentation. He clothes were slightly tattered, hair messily placed into its usual ponytail, fragments of dirt and dust lining his clothing and some areas of skin. Either he did too much work in working hours or wasn't from the village, which in village terms, could only mean one thing. And this boy had encountered Jongdae days prior, so logically...  
  
"Look if this is about your friend or maybe he's your rival, maybe you've already ate him I don't know, but if it's about what went down between us the other day, I was telling the truth. We clearly established that we had nothing to do with what he thought we did. You're at the wrong stall, looking for the wrong people."  
  
Yixing was minorly amused. "You haven't given me chance to explain why I'm here, hold your horses." He chuckled. "Even if it's not something you enjoy doing."  
  
Taemin peered at him, demeanor cautious.  
  
"Perhaps I'm here to buy something," he then said.  
  
"I don't think so," came the instant reply. "Rogues don't have money. Or whatever it is you people call yourselves these days."  
  
"We're not rogues and we don't eat people, Taemin."  
  
Taemin came to a halt, limbs stiffening. "He remembered my name?"  
  
"You take more humanity away from Jongdae than should be the case, as a lot of you village dwellers do to 'people like us'. The major difference between us is we don't have a home, have to hunt for our food, and know a million and one ways to kick your ass without getting a scratch on ourselves. Never once have we resorted to cannibalism, nor have we felt the need to. The least you people could do is confirm your imaginative theories before you buy into hearsay." He took a breath. "I'm accompanied by your dearest Archangel if you weren't--" he stopped here, blinking at the look in both of their eyes, confusion, but something bordering on awe. They knew he wasn't human, but they hadn't known the specifics. "You didn't know. Wow."  
  
Perching himself against the stall as he peered at Taemin. "Does it bother you to know some random Rogue from the outskirts knew Daehyun's true identity before his precious cabin buddies? Well it's a tale for another time and can be conducted between the three of you without my interference. I'm not here to eat you, or kill you, or steal your sort of girlfriend, or anything like that." Propping his legs up onto the table, to cross the beneath him, he scooted closer to Taemin. He didn't react, but there was apprehension. "And admittedly I'm not here to buy something. I want to exchange something, or rather, take a couple of items out of your hands."  
  
Taemin's apprehension didn't lessen. "And those would be...?"  
  
"If I've been informed correctly, then you're currently in possession of a few large books. Old, thick, heavy things that packed full of information about weird creatures and the like. Probably seem like good tales, maybe you've read a few. I don't know. I just know they're ours now and we're going to be taking them out of your hands."  
  
"Whoa hold up," but he was cut off a second later by none other than Anna.  
  
"You're not taking the books," she said, something of a defiance to her words.  
  
Yixing raised an eyebrow, and though Anna and Taemin did well to disguise the growing fear within them, he could scent fear from a mile away, and he knew the two knew they were unmatched in terms of fighting abilities. "Is that so?" Tone of voice lowering to a threatening level.  
  
"They've been there since we arrived, but we read them all the time, so it's not like they're not in use. If they're not on the stall, then they're not for sale, meaning you can't buy them." The fear seemed to have faded in Anna, sounding confident of her words.  
  
"Buy? No. Take? Certainly."  
  
Both Anna and Taemin's eyes narrowed.  
  
"Does your people's arrogance know no bounds?" Anna uttered, shaking her head in disbelief. "First your 'friend' comes barging in here causing a scene as he threatens Taemin and myself only to scuttle off in bewilderment when it turns out we're not who he thinks we are, for you to return and demand we hand over books that are in frequent use as though we owe you them? Go find your own, or buy them from someone else. We're not selling them here."  
  
"We need them more than you."  
  
"Arguably," Anna amended.

"No," Yixing said insistently. "You're using them for stories, to give yourself a little spook when the skies darken. We need the knowledge written into their pages. I get that your secluded little village life is sunshine and daises, and these books are simply fiction to you but it's not that way for all of us. Some of us will be facing the creatures depicted in the pages, in real life."  
  
"Why's it taken you this long to come retrieve them then?" Anna asked, dubious. "Surely you've managed to survive this long without the books?"  
  
Yixing peered at her and then Taemin, eyes narrowing, disbelieving. "So you're seriously saying you won't hand over these books that are a literal necessity in this point in our lives because it's little way to be romantic with your not girlfriend and your not boyfriend. Interesting. Bewildering, actually." His eyes sparkled with mischief. "You know, maybe we _should_ start eating people. Rid the world of a few fool-hearted tweens."

But Anna wasn't deterred. "You say it like we're not attached to these books, that they don't have meaning to us. This house is small, and we don't have a lot to call our own. So the things we do have here, we cherish. We take good care of, keep them in mint condition. The books, the candles, the stove and pot in the kitchen, they belong to this house, they make it what it is. The books aren't for sale, and we won't be made to feel bad about that."

"What if I said I hold your friend hostage, and the only way to ensure his safety is to give me the books?"

Anna raised an eyebrow. "Daehyun?" Almost as if she was humored, continued. "You just confirmed that Daehyun's an Archangel and therefore a ton stronger than all of us -- likely combined. If anyone's being held hostage, it's you by him. Maybe it's not with chains and ropes but you need him for something, that much is evident."

She let out a frustrated breath before turning to face a vastly approaching Daehyun, almost sighing.

"I believe we are to come to a compromise. We will not be taking these books forever," though something about Yixing's demeanor appeared to contradict that, at least in Anna and Taemin's impressions. "Simply borrowing them. You know I do not go back on my word, so will bring them back once they are no longer of use, we just wish to bring them on our journey. Would that be possible?"

"Under one condition," Taemin muttered, his mood seemed to have soured by the events also. "The Rogues or not Rogues need to stop paying visits to this house and to us. "And the pages don't get ruined, they stay intact, unsoiled."

Daehyun turned to face Yixing as if asking for confirmation, who only chuckled. "This will be the last time we visit you. Besides, I'm not even here for you, I'm here for the books. So just hand them over and we'll be gone. The only one who'll come and see you will be Daehyun, just like he promised."

"A deal is a deal," Taemin said, making his way over to the steps, to retrieve the books, shoulders visibly stumped.

 

Once at the camp, having made food for everyone -- regardless of whether Jongdae had said he shared the food out equally and didn't complain, much -- Yixing had finally taken time to sit down. There was something strangely therapeutic about being able to stir a pot properly with one hand, dish out the meal with the other, arms working in perfect tandem. Having had his then broken arm bandaged, he'd been placed in some difficult situations in terms of that, days prior.  
  
Naturally, he found himself pondering his reaction to Daehyun's healing abilities, or his lack of reaction for that matter. He knew Daehyun wasn't as advanced as his healing brother in terms of healing, and had apparently lent some of the ability to help aide their journey, as he'd told them prior, but the act in itself, in comparison to what else he'd witnessed from Daehyun, he felt fared in quite the lackluster manner.  
  
And not because he wasn't impressed by the ability, but in the sense he was halfway expecting it, or familiar in sense accelerated healing, or non natural healing. That it wasn't all that new to him, which had him pursing his lips, deep in thought.  
  
His eyes wandered over to the books he'd 'loaned', and he almost sighed, somethig like guilt bubbling within him. He had felt like he was taking prized toys away from two children, and had almost turned back and said that he wouldn't take them, but realized that it wasn't an option in his situation. Daehyun had softened the blow for them, in the promise that the books were going to be returned eventually, and as much as the Archangel may have meant his words, Yixing knew that wouldn't be coming to fruition.  
  
Not with how closely Jongdae had cradle them once they'd be passed over to him, how his eyes had glued to the pages since their arrival. What was an evident weight being lifted off the youngers' shoulders, Yixing had never seen him look so innocent, so utterly enthralled.  
  
He knew with one look there was no way Jongdae was giving these books back without a fight. A fight Anna and Taemin very well may have been open to participating in, if the books were involved.  
He hadn't formed much of an opinion on the two, but knew he didn't want to fight them, knowing they were younger than him and completely untrained in ways of combat. He could've done more to make a better impression admittedly, knowing they'd already gotten onto the wrong foot, with not just him but with Jongdae too. But it was out of his reach now, and unlikely he'd ever encounter the two again, so he tried to not worry himself with it. They'd find other interests, acquire other books eventually, and surely they weren't the type to trail into the forest and demand the books be given back, or at least he hoped so. These books weren't the be all, end all for Anna and Taemin like they were to Jongdae.

With this, Yixing allowed himself to fade into his surroundings, gaze out at the river. He ran a hand through his hair, allowing thoughts he'd been avoiding to consume his mind.  
They'd been informed that the journey to meet Daehyun's 'important friend' involved a trek towards the what most coined the other side, past the neighboring slew of forests and the other palace, where the Royals had even more control and influence.  
  
The other side was much larger than the land they currently inhabited or had inhabited -- village dwellers wanted nothing to do with the closest forests or the outskirts at the best of times -- and Daehyun had informed them, that in comparison, there was much to do there, outside of the neighboring palace, villages had endless stalls; there were festivals and celebrations, further onwards, what were told to be training facilities, in specific areas.  
  
According to Daehyun, they were to make a short stay to meet up with Daehyun's friend and await what he called a signal, though he didn't say by whom.  
It was evident that aside from Daehyun and aside from Yixing, the others had never to the other side. Yixing had visited there many years before, and had even taken residence there before finding and taking refuge in the forests.  
  
Something he had shared in common with Luhan.  
  
Hours had passed since the days events, most were asleep. Jongdae was by his feet, the books neatly tucked beside him. He looked more at peace than he'd witnessed for a while.  
  
Lilian, Chunji and Jongup were perched close to Daehyun, sleeping soundlessly, using the cloaks and robes they were equipped with as covers. Daehyun was awake, seeming to be keeping watch. He didn't make any noise, but in the cast of the moonlight, seemed to a calculating expression on.

Knowing he was too used to timing his sleep around Jongdae and company, it was a habit that difficult to crack, which was likely for the best. Yixing knew that there'd always be at least two people awake come night time, if Daehyun had need for sleep, meaning more eyes on the look out, keeping them safe.  
  
He glanced back over at the river, wondering how Luhan and Jongin were coping. He didn't know if it was because of the turn recent conversations had taken, if was because of the atmosphere; the glow of the moon upon the river, if that particular patch of their camp made reminiscing so easy, or if he just missed him that much, but his mind kept reverting back to Luhan, and the peculiar events leading up to their friendship.

 

 _There'd been a storm the day he first encountered him and in his initial assessment, nothing seemed too out of the usual, everything was in its intended place, save for a curled up figure, laying atop the riverbed._  
  
_Thinking it was an injured animal, Yixing edged closer. He'd had stocks upon stocks of food lined up for himself, and only had himself to feed, so it wasn't with intent to kill, rather to help it back onto its feet and let it roam into the wilderness. If it came to the worst, he'd put it out of his misery, but if it was salvageable he was going to try save it first._  
  
_But as his feet trudged onward, came to an abrupt conclusion that it wasn't an animal. Rather an out of breath, winded human that was wearing a long cloak. A cloak, that upon closer inspection, seemed to be splattered with blood. Quite slender framed, it was a boy, who appeared to be his age or around, possibly taller, but he wasn't able to make out too much, with the boy's position._  
  
_Instantly going on the defensive, Yixing said, "I don't know who you are or what it is you want," voice almost echoing. "But I suggest you leave right now, if you value your life."_  
  
_There was no response, and this propelled him closer, to inspect him closer. He was still alive, and definitely heard what Yixing had said, but he made no move towards doing what Yixing had said, though there was absolutely no fight or defiance in the boy's eyes._  
  
_"Now."_  
  
_He tried to lift his head, hold eye contact with Yixing, but a hiss of pain echoed through him. "I-I can't move," he choked out, voice cracking._  
  
_They shared a native tongue, was the next observation. Another sound of pain emitted from the injured boy. "But you shouldn't make yourself identifiable in future, enemies could be lurking anywhere."_  
  
_Yixing raised an eyebrow, taken off guard by this. "What do you mean?"_  
  
_He forced himself up into a sitting position and Yixing almost cringed at the mix of debris and blood on his clothes and face. "You probably don't know the language well, or even at all, so it's not as though you have any other option, but this land is different to where we used to be, and if we make that identifiable to enemies, they're going to use it against us." He could already tell what train of thought Yixing was having. "I don't know you, you're right. But I'm not here to fight," he was taking shallow breaths, wincing. "I can't even stand up straight, let alone run any further, so if you intend to kill me, do it while I'm down. But I can't fight you in this condition, nor do I intend to in any other." He placed pressure on his wound -- or even wounds, Yixing wasn't too sure. "One night is all I ask, one night and I'll leave and never return. You have my word."_  
  
_Avoiding this, Yixing cast another glance at the injuries, cloaked as they were. "You're bleeding badly."_  
  
_There was a faint nod. "It's not fatal, I'll be okay."_  
  
_"One night and then you're gone?"_  
  
_The boy nodded, forcing himself onto his feet, almost tripping over in the process._  
  
_Yixing sighed, making his way over and helping towards a seat. "You make too much noise you're not only going to alert enemies, you'll alert ravenous, vicious animals. Sit down and stay quiet while I make you something to eat."_

 _The soup, though it didn't look so extravagant a meal, the unique blend of ingredients that originated from their homeland, proved to be a widespread favorite. He swore it had healing properties, himself._  
  
_He'd made enough for several servings, so spare himself a bowl before passing a bowl over to the the injured boy. As proud as he was of the bowls, have carved them to shape himself, he made no move to say he'd done so. "Here," he said, offering the bowl to the boy. "Eat."_  
  
_There was a look of sheer relief, but also weariness in his brown eyes of the injured boy. "Thank you," but he didn't make move to continue conversation._  
  
_Yixing watched on with curiosity as the boy's eyes widened at the taste, a knowing smile on his lips._  
  
_"Does it taste like home?"_  
  
_The boy nodded, a soft smile on his lips. But there was a sad note to it, too._  
  
_"Can I ask a question?" But he didn't wait for a response. "What happened? Better yet, how did you find yourself here? If you're from my homeland, just how far did you travel?"_  
  
_"Further than I could manage without assistance, that's for sure." He tapped the spoon against his bowl, avoiding direct eye contact, looking as though he wanted to add more, but decided against it last minute. He was only staying a day, they'd only just met, a whole slew of reasons present to note make deeper conversation, but he couldn't help but feel thankful for the hospitality, forced or not. Nor feel anything but comforted that someone else from his homeland had ended up in the same borders._  
  
_"What's your name?"_  
  
_He glanced up at Yixing briefly. "Luhan." There was a pause. "But if anyone asks, I'm not here, I was never here. If you need anything in return, know that there's this training facility not far over, I have the address and permittance, so if you find your way in, say you're a friend of Luhan. You'll be taken on board instantly. If it weren't for them, I'd probably be dead, I went from knowing virtually nothing about survival, to be able to survive long stretches of time by my own means, even as young as I -- or even we -- are."_  
  
_"Not doing the best job of that so far, are you?" Though the words held a teasing lilt._  
  
_Luhan sighed, disappointment coating the sound. "It wasn't always like this." He let out a sigh. "The outskirts have all kind of enemies and people trying to pick a fight, steal from you all you own. It's difficult moving between borders. If we want to survive from hereon out, I guess it's wiser to stay where we are, forget about the thought of home entirely."_  
  
_Yixing nodded. "I'm with you on that." He tapped on his fingers on his leg, curiosity bubbling within. "So if you're here does that mean you left the facility for good? If so, what triggered it?"_  
_Luhan quietened, almost brunching back._  
  
_"Guess you don't want to talk about it?" Yixing sent him a knowing stare. "Lose someone special?" He then chuckled and the evident flinch this time. "Don't worry about answering that, once you've finished your soup, go rest." And though it was more playful than his initial tone, Luhan seemed to take it seriously. "And be gone by the morning!" But the more he thought about it, with the injuries Luhan had acquired, one day wasn't enough._

  
_Apparently. To say that Yixing was spooked by the turn of events the next morning, was an understatement._  
  
_And as if he'd been caught red handed, Luhan came to an abrupt halt, looking like a deer caught in a headlights. "I-I have to go," he choked out, demeanor seeming a ton more terrified than Yixing had witnessed prior. In the light, his hair, now clean, was much lighter than Yixing's own._  
  
_"Hold up," he said stiffly. "I_ saw _the wounds, as plain as day." He didn't wait for response. "And now they're gone. Not cleaned, they've literally healed. Within a night."_  
  
_Luhan avoided direct eye contact. "I, um--" he took a deep breath, looking like he wanted to sink into the ground. "I have this... I have this thing." He kept a noticeable physical distance between them, almost appearing ashamed. "I don't know what it is, nor how I have it, I just know that all my life it's been there and once people find out... they freak." He sighed. "Obviously. But I don't-- I've never intended to do it--"_

Yixing, being pulled out of his reverie, glanced at Daehyun and then at the books beside Jongdae, wondering if he'd find the answer once and for all, knowing Luhan himself didn't know why it took place. He'd kept it to himself for a long time by Luhan's request, knowing it was something Luhan felt ashamed of more so than proud, he'd lived his entire life thinking there was something wrong with him, for him to possess an ability such as that. And Yixing, now that he had chance, wanted to confirm otherwise.  
  
"Daehyun," he asked, gaining the Archangels' attention, as he gently eased into it. "Is there such a thing as a half angel, half human?" He blinked. "Or at least a way for a human to accelerate the Alignment transitioning process, even unintentionally; can some be more... advanced than others?"


End file.
